The Gift of Humanity - Re-Vamped
by KNeu21
Summary: (RV3)Sequel to 'TGoResilience-Re-Vamped'-Set during Eclipse: (RE-VAMPED VERSION): With no time to adjust to the idea, Leandra quickly begins to realize that all it means to be human isn't easy to learn. RATED 'M' for obvious reasons! You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: A few things I have to put here. I would read it all, since there is information in here that *will* probably be stated several times throughout the story. And it's fun. I promise it won't hurt.**

**Okay. Let's start with the very obvious-**

**DISCLAIMER!**

**I don't own any part of the Twilight series, and I don't claim to. As fun as that would be, I really don't. I don't own any part of SM's work.**

**I only own the characters you probably know all about by now, and they're a pretty rowdy bunch. Seriously. It's a circus in my head. Unfortunately, not all of them get along with each other, and they do get away from me now and then, but they're pretty harmless. Kinda. I'd watch out for the taller, dark haired one, though. He's a little shifty. (Dear God, that sounded so crazy..)**

**Now, onto the-**

**WARNING!**

**This story is rated 'M' for a very, very good reason! As with all of my stories, This one isn't pretty. In this story, just like all the others, is where you'll find far more bad days than good days. More rain than sun. More- You get it. Please heed my heads up if you're sensitive. Definitely not for the faint of heart, or squeamish. I don't like getting whined at.**

**I will put an "ImPORTANT NOTE" at the top of every particularly iffy chapter, but I do try to follow the guidelines of the site closely. No overly graphic descriptions of violence, yada-yada. Stuff like that, but I do mildly hint with just a dash of description. It's a very careful recipe, with a line that could be very easy to cross. Believe me. It could be worse. It'd be like a really jarring punch to the face every chapter if it could be. No joke.**

**However. It's not my intention to give anybody nightmares. That'd be against the rules.**

**That being said, I welcome you all to my little corner of insanity. Don't touch my crayons, and the hand-puppets will bite you. Cookies will be given between each chapter to those who review, but only if you have a very good imagination.**

**Okay. I'll shut up now.**

**Onward!**

**Chapter One**

I had to be across the room, making it really difficult to see whatever Zack was trying to show me of his stupid pet turtle. If I ventured anywhere near it, it folded back up into its shell and wouldn't come out for fifteen minutes, sometimes longer. Even if I moved away. We'd learned that the hard way twice already today. I felt bad for scaring it without even meaning to, so I kept my distance now.

This being the first visit to their house since being back in town, I hadn't seen Mr. Jerk, Zack's pet turtle, since Christmas.

"That thing hates me." I sighed from where I sat on the side of his bed. Zack looked back at me from across the room, where Jerk's cage was set up against the wall by the bedroom door.

"Jerk doesn't hate you." Zack replied, lifting the turtle, "He's afraid of you. There's a difference."

The turtle had grown quite a bit since the last time I saw it, but Zack said it would probably double that size before it was finished growing. As it was, it was only about six months old when I first saw it. Just a little baby turtle. Now, it was about the size of a baseball. Maybe a little bigger. Apparently, those things could live for seventy or eighty years. That just freaked me out to think about.

I had to admit, though. I was curious, and I had a lot of questions.

"How do you know Jerk is a boy turtle?" I asked, and he laughed, "It could be a Jerkette." He turned it to point its butt at me.

"See how long his tail is?" He asked, and I nodded, "That means he's a he and not a she. The females have shorter and smaller tails, and brown eyes. He's got orange eyes." He'd sure done his research, "And under here.." He flipped the turtle over, much to its displeasure, given the flailing limbs, "See how it sort of like.. Dips right here?" He pointed to the lower part of the bottom of his shell, and I nodded a little, "Females are flatter."

"Oh." I muttered, "Why are the females flat and not the males?"

"Something to do with mating." He shrugged, "Him being creased like that makes it easier to um.. Stay on." I crinkled my nose. Cringing, "Just how they're designed. I guess they wouldn't want to make a lot of baby turtles if they kept sliding off."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"Exactly." Zack laughed a little, righting the turtle again, "I wanted to make sure I got a boy turtle. So I did a little bit of reading on it, and I knew he was a boy when I got him from the pet store online. Poor Jerk probably isn't ever gonna have a girlfriend, though. Mom says she doesn't want a bunch of baby turtles running around."

"Why not?"

"Something about child support." He shrugged again, "I don't really get it." I shrugged as well, sighing. I had a few more questions, though.

"What happens when they flip over?"

"Onto their back?" He asked and I nodded, "Well, if they're healthy, they just turn themselves over."

"How?"

"Mostly, they use their head to sort of push themselves over." He replied, "If Jerk would let you near him, I'd show you, but that might just give him a heart attack. If they all really got stuck like that, there would be a lot less turtles in the world."

"So why are they called box turtles?" I asked, "Because they can live in a box?"

"No." He replied, "Because when they go into their shell, it closes up for better protection, boxing them in."

"Oh."

"You've seen that part." He laughed, and I nodded a little.

He placed Jerk back into his freshly cleaned cage, tossed in a few tomato and berry chunks he'd brought in earlier from the kitchen, and put the lid in place.

"I'll give him his mixed food later." He said, "That's just a snack."

"Isn't that all they eat?" I asked.

"No." He laughed, replacing and turning on the heat lamp, "Not even close. Sometimes I give him worms, crickets, live things like that. Bits of fish, which he really likes. Fruits, different veggies. Most of the time, it's a little mix of everything, which he loves."

"Wow." I muttered, "I would have just thrown in some lettuce and be done with it."

"It's a little harder than that if you want to keep them healthy." He replied as he turned for the door, "If you ever get one, I'll help you."

That was the sign that I could move. Standing up, I scooted from the room before Jerk could see me, and headed for the stairs while Zack stopped in the bathroom to wash his hands. I stood there at the top of the stairs for a moment, just to take a breath. I was having such a hard day.

It was visiting day, as Esme thought it would be best to let Heather know about the situation with Jack in person, in hopes being around the boys would help cheer me up. Heather, being the somehow sane sister of the psychopath in question, I would have thought that she really wouldn't want to know about what was going on, but apparently, she requested specifically to be informed about every new development.

I had to take Zack upstairs while they talked for a little bit, so Heather suggested that he clean Jerk's cage while we were up here. He hadn't done it yet today. Josh had taken over his dad's office for the day, as he was in trouble for falling behind in homework.

Alyssa had been warned first about the danger that could possibly be headed her way. All the way across the country in New York, which felt like we'd just gotten back home from. Just in case, and just so she could be on her toes. She accepted the warning, knowing full well that I wouldn't have even bothered telling her if I didn't mean it. She promised to keep an eye on everyone there, and I had to admit. She sounded like she was doing better. Not by much, but better than she was before, given Mikah's continued absence. Rose hadn't found anything out of place yet, and she checked often.

My dad was warned close second, and he lived just one state over in Idaho. The threat to him was probably a lot greater, considering that he was my biological father. The one that Jack, the psychopathic stepfather of mine in question, had tried so hard to erase from my life completely while I was growing up. He had a family he needed to take care of. Alice and Jasper both took turns with watching him. Neither one finding anything out of place yet either.

Given everything going on, Esme had been given specific permission by the state to teach me from home. I didn't need to attend public school, but my case had to be kept secret. From anyone except the one Carlisle kept in direct contact with. As a precaution, nobody else was allowed to access any information on me. My records were sealed. They didn't want to take any risks of that happening again.

It'd been a week since Jack had called. A week to the day, and I was definitely feeling the lack of sleep. I was sleeping even less than I slept in New York, but I found that when I did manage to sleep, the dreams I couldn't remember weren't a problem anymore. The last time I had one of those was the night before that woman tried to take me, and I knew exactly why that was. Thanks to Edward, the outcome I feared so deeply had been avoided. For right then, at least.

Unfortunately, I remembered every dream I had these days. If I ever let myself sleep enough to dream, which really wasn't often. It was a habit by now to wake up. Anything could wake me up, even with how tired I was, and anything included the feeling of falling asleep.

'Ms. Parker' and the man with her, both of the people who'd tried to steal me a week before, had been caught that same night. The police picked them up outside Tacoma during a traffic stop for speeding. With Carlisle not wasting any time, the cop that stopped them knew they were being looked for. Both would probably be charged heavily, and sent to prison for a number of years. I had no sympathy for them. I hoped they rotted away in there.

This was the first time in a week I was away from the house. I hadn't felt the need to go anywhere and risk anything.

I would have preferred to stay home today, but Esme insisted I come along, and I couldn't exactly argue with her the way I would with Alice. Somehow, it was just different. It felt wrong somehow to give Esme as hard of a time as I would give Alice. I didn't quite understand it, but I didn't exactly question it, either. It was just different.

So far, nothing involving Jack had happened that I knew of, but I knew that it was possible because of me, and the guilt was eating me alive. I doubted, though, anyone would tell me if anything did ever happen, because of that guilt I knew they knew I felt. I was a wreck as it was. I wasn't dealing well with this.

I yelped, the sound travelling down the stairs as I jumped about a foot in the air.

"Don't _fucking_ do that!" I gasped, "What is wrong with you?"

Zack had made it a habit today of sneaking up behind me and scaring me every chance he got, just to see me react. This was the third time he'd done it, and it was getting really old, really fast. Oddly, he found the squeaking yelp I made funny.

He laughed, and darted away. Halfway down the stairs before I even thought to smack him yet. Josh passed me, chasing him the rest of the way down the stairs like an avalanche of skidding feet. Startling me further, as I hadn't even seen Josh leave the room up the hall.

A tell-tale thud in the hall downstairs between the living room and kitchen told me Josh had caught him. I stood there for a moment, just trying to slow my suddenly racing heart.

Leave it to Zack and Josh, Heather's two sons, to be the one little break from the seriousness of the situation I needed. It didn't work so well this time, but the effort was there.

"Mom!" Zack grunted, confirming my suspicion, "Josh is sitting on me again!"

"No I'm not." Josh called also, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Boys." Heather called from the kitchen, "Settle down, would you?"

"Yeah, Zack." I muttered, descending the stairs myself, "Settle down."

I passed them piled against the wall in the hallway. Josh was, in fact, sitting on the middle of Zack's back, effectively keeping him pinned. Pausing, I frowned a little as I studied them. That had to be uncomfortable for Zack, and I found I didn't envy him in the slightest.

"And aren't you supposed to be doing your homework, Josh?" Heather asked.

"I am." Josh replied, "I'm not really talking to you right now. You just think I am."

"Cute." Heather wasn't impressed.

"Ow!" And Zack wasn't pleased, "Get off me, you hippo! Leandra, help!" I hesitated. Was there an easy way to free Zack from Josh's butt weight? There was, but instead, I sighed.

"I would," I replied, "But you like to scare me. Why would I help you?"

"Because you like me so much?"

"Wrong answer." I muttered as I went on my way, ignoring the thumps, shouts and struggling behind me. I found Esme's side again where she sat in the kitchen with Heather, as that was where I was most comfortable lately. Even the boys couldn't distract me.

Heather studied me for a moment, her expression sad as she found mine to be less than cheerful. It was rare to even see me genuinely smile anymore, and I had a feeling that had more to do with the lack of sleep than much of anything else. I was worn down, but I was only doing it to myself.

It wasn't that I couldn't sleep that was the problem. The problem was that I wouldn't sleep. I was so stuck in the middle of hating myself for sleeping, even though I knew perfectly well that I needed to, that even my subconscious cooperated with me. My head wouldn't slow down, the tension wouldn't ease even a little. Nowhere near enough to let me sleep.

"Leandra, honey." Heather sighed, "Please cheer up. I hate seeing you so down."

"I can't." I replied quietly. I didn't exactly feel down, or depressed, but more like a numbness. A hesitation about feeling much of anything. A little like what Jasper could do, but I was doing it on my own.

"For what it's worth," She murmured, "I can't blame you a bit. I know what you're going through."

"You do?" I asked, curious.

"I do." She nodded.

"Jack was like this to you?" I asked, and for a moment, she seemed torn. Like she didn't really want to say anything, but I understood that part.

She wanted to make me feel a little better, though, so with a glance toward the hallway's fighting sounds that told her Josh and Zack were still occupied, she spoke again with a nod.

"I left home when I was sixteen." She'd told me that part already. Taking a breath, she nodded again, "I had Josh when I was seventeen. Zack followed him when I was nineteen. Zack wasn't even a year old before Jack showed up at my doorstep. I had roughly about four full years of the same worry you're experiencing, knowing the whole time he'd find me, and my babies. I know what you're going through, believe me."

"So Jack has always been like this?" I asked, and she seemed to understand.

"Always." She admitted sadly, "He attaches to people, and refuses to let them go."

"No matter how far you go." I whimpered, looking down.

"I'm sorry." She told me, and I glanced up briefly, "This isn't easy for anyone, much less just a baby." Her tone told me she was just as upset as she said she was, "I know it's hard, but please try not to give up. Just hold on. That's all you can do." I nodded again. I knew that all too well. She spoke again, "It'll get sorted. I know it will. I'm just sorry I can't do more."

The conversation paused as the boys came running into the room. Josh chasing Zack around the table. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary for them.

"Come on, guys." Heather told them, "Take it outside." Neither one acknowledged that, but seconds later, Zack darted back around the table and hauled it from the room. Josh following.

Heather spoke to me again, "Esme tells me you haven't had much of an appetite." Actually really grateful for the slight change of subject, I shook my head. That was true. It was harder to eat than it was for me to sleep, which was saying something, and being told there was very few reasons to hope didn't help that. Apparently, he'd always been this way.

"Every time I try," I said, "I feel more like throwing up." Which was also saying something. I loved Esme's cooking. I just really couldn't stomach eating very much lately. Literally.

"That's just the nerves, sweetheart." Heather replied. She looked to Esme, "Have you tried anything.. Medication wise?"

"We'd really like to avoid that route." Esme admitted, "It seems like too much."

"I don't want that anyway." I muttered, "I don't like taking stuff just to fix me."

"For one, you're not broken, so there's no need to fix anything." Heather murmured, "You're feeling.. Understandably overwhelmed, and trust me. That's normal, but you can't go without at least taking care of yourself. It's easy to want to just give up like that, but you have to remember all the people who care about you. I got lucky. So lucky. I don't know where I'd be without Mike, to be honest." I couldn't help smiling a little at the way she spoke about him.

"How'd you meet him?" I asked, "Mike?"

She smiled a little as well, more than willing to talk about the lighter subject.

"I was working in a small restaurant in downtown Seattle." She explained, "Mike came in for lunch one afternoon with some of the guys he worked with. I was sixteen, he was a brand new eighteen, and new to the city. He'd just left home himself, and as you can imagine, loving it." I smiled a little at the picture she described, "And I guess I took a liking to him. I just didn't let him know it at first."

I smiled slightly again, "Why not?"

"I think I was more worried about where I was in life at that point." She explained, "I wasn't exactly looking for someone like him. I was more concerned with where I was going to get the next half of the rent." I nodded a little, "He didn't make it easy to ignore him, though. He'd found his favorite new restaurant, and as much as I tried, I couldn't help being hopeful he came in every day."

I looked down again. That reminded me a lot of Mikah, and how I'd pretty much stalked him there for awhile. Visiting the store he'd worked at just to see him. I missed Mikah, even with how much was going on.

"He was so.." She sighed, "He was the change I left home to find. Everybody else I knew in Seattle, they were just people. He was different. I wasn't even trying to find him, yet there he was. He didn't even know it, but he was just waiting for me to see that myself."

Now that really reminded me of Mikah. She'd just summed up the way I felt about him so effortlessly, when I wouldn't have even known where to begin.

"The rest is history." She added, "The point is, don't give up. You never know when things will turn around, and move in your favor." It definitely did for her.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked quietly, and she smiled a little again.

"Sure." She replied, "Go for it."

"How come you never told Mike about Jack?"

"Leandra." Esme murmured, "Maybe that's not such a good thing to ask right now."

"No," Heather spoke, "It's okay. I can understand why she's curious." She took a breath, obviously sorting her thoughts, "That's a bit hard to explain. I grew up without much trust for anyone, Leandra. Even now, there are things I can't, and will not talk about." I looked down. That sounded familiar. She went on.

"Back when I met Mike, I was in a very bad place." She explained, "I was just trying to make it on my own. All I was trying to do was get by. Maybe to prove to myself I could? I'm not really sure what I was thinking back then.

"To admit absolutely anything about where I came from to him was impossible, and I guess by the time I felt like I could, I felt like it was too late and Jack was already back in my life. Mike, being the nice guy he is, suggested we move closer. So the boys could see him more often. How could I properly explain why I wasn't so eager to do that, without having to explain to him why I never told him sooner? There are some things the most understanding people can't possibly understand."

"I know what you mean." I mumbled, and she smiled a little, "But I still think he should know."

"He knows I don't get along with my brother." She nodded, "But I know the boys care so much about him, and he's always been so great with them. I couldn't do that. Not to mention the fact that Mike would hunt him down himself the second he knew exactly what happened there. I didn't want to be visiting my husband in prison for the rest of his life."

"True." I winced, "But what about you?"

"I appreciate your concern, sweetheart." She smiled a little, "But you don't need to be worrying about me."

It didn't seem right that she be the one to suffer, just to keep everyone else happy. Seeing my continued concern, she smiled again.

"I'm the luckiest person in the world." She assured me, "I've got.. A job I love, an amazing husband. Two wonderful boys I wouldn't trade for anything. Between you and me, I find it's a whole lot easier to focus on the good things, instead of worrying about how things can go wrong."

"How?" I asked.

"Learning how to change the way you think takes time." She patted my hands on the table, "But you can do it. Growing up, well.. It changes the way you see things. I know you probably hear that all the time, but it's true. Someday, you'll understand. You'll see one day." I sighed, but nodded. I wanted to understand everything now, but that someday obviously wasn't today.

"You wouldn't believe how much you're loved, Leandra." Heather told me. I smiled a little, but it faded quickly as I looked down.

"I know." I replied.

"Then believe it." She urged me, "And you'll be just fine, baby."

I turned sharply at the sound of something breaking in the hallway. The sound of glass breaking had Heather on her feet instantly, first concern then deep irritation crossing her features.

"I didn't do it." I mumbled, perhaps in instinct. She knew perfectly well I couldn't have done it, since I'd been standing there the entire time.

"Josh did it!" Zack's statement sounded suspicious, especially as pounding footsteps ascended the stairs.

"No I didn't, you big fat liar!" Josh wasn't pleased, following steps behind Zack up the stairs.

"He's gonna hit me!" Zack called loudly from up the stairs, followed quickly by a door-slamming thud. The shouts of arguing through the door drifted down the stairs. Heather's eyes closed, as if in despair.

"Please. Excuse me." Heather finally sighed.

"Of course." Esme replied, and Heather left the room. I sighed as well, shaking my head.

"I'm glad I don't have a brother or sister that I have to fight with." I muttered, but that only reminded me. I did have a sister. She was in just as much danger as my dad was. With a single, quiet sob of nervousness, I leaned forward, thumping my head on the table. If Jack or Ken ever got a hold of Lily, I hated to think about what would happen to my five-year-old half sister.

That one thought just made everything a lot harder.

"Honey, please.." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her. She knew. She always knew when I was about to cry. Honestly, I didn't know what I'd do without her hugs. Even if all they did was make it worse at first. I was having such a hard time, and she knew.

"Are you ready to go home?" She asked me, and with a deep sniffle, I nodded. Being here wasn't helping like it always used to. She nodded, "Okay. Come on."

I stepped back, letting her stand up. It was better that we went, anyway. The boys were both in trouble, and I sure didn't want to be around for that punishment. Heather held off on that, giving me comforting parting words and hug, but I didn't envy the boys as we left.

Alice was there the second we got back.

"Anything?" She wanted to know if being there had helped me. Esme only shook her head as I continued on into the living room. I found my usual seat in the chair, and sat down with a deep sigh.

They were so hopeful something would bring me out of this rut, but there really wasn't much anyone could do. As much as I wanted to believe Heather, I didn't, and before that? Not a chance.

Hearing Jack's voice for the first time in a year last week really did something to my dreams. I wouldn't tell anyone that, but they already knew I was having trouble even finding the want to sleep lately. Forcing myself to stay awake as long as possible. Even longer than before, and apparently, that was a problem.

My lack of sleep was making every day issues really hard to deal with. I'd noticed it a little bit before, but since I was on day four with maybe a half hour nap here or there and this was the longest I'd ever been awake straight, I was noticing it even more.

Can't find my matching sock? Time to cry. Can't find the TV remote? It's fucking gone forever. Can't figure out that math problem? Tear the whole page up. Can't figure out what word I was trying to read? Throw the book across the room. Accidentally stub my toe, or trip over something? Fuck everything, and I was done for the day.

As forced calm and numb as I made myself, I had a very short fuse, and short of knocking me out, there wasn't anything anyone could do. I was, as Emmett so accurately put it, pretty damn cranky. Getting even less sleep than I was used to, I had to agree with him. It was becoming pretty painfully obvious, even more than ever before, why humans needed sleep, but it wasn't happening anytime soon, and their concern was only growing. They watched, and they could see what this was doing to me. I knew that. I wasn't stupid.

"Leandra?" Alice's voice startled me, "I think-"

"If I could sleep, I would." I mumbled, lounging lower in the chair, "That's what you were going to say, right?" I really wasn't up to having this argument _again_.

"You can't keep this up." She sat on the armrest beside me, "It's dangerous to risk your health like this." I'd heard that a million times already, and I had about all I could take of it. She was poking me when I really didn't want to be poked.

"I'm not doing it on purpose." I lightly snapped, "Don't you think I'd sleep the rest of my life if I could?" That bothered her, "I would. I'd just sleep, and hope I never woke up."

"Then why won't you let Esme help you?" She asked. Meaning, what Esme used to do for me all the time in New York. It usually took a lot for her to insist I sit with her and let her hold me to sleep, but I refused. Both times she was concerned enough to offer, I turned that offer down, because I knew it would work.

"Because." I muttered as if that was an answer, looking down.

"Remember how well that worked in New York-"

"I remember." I lightly snapped again, "I'm not that stupid."

"Leandra, I'm just trying-"

"I can't be helped." I'd heard it all before. Forcefully, I stood up, "God, I thought you were supposed to be smart." I hated getting like this, but the more she poked, the less control I had over it.

"Hold it." She called, but I ignored her. She followed me anyway, "Leandra, you need sleep." She rounded, blocking my path.

"There's a lot of things I need." I grumbled. I had to stop walking to avoid running straight into her, "Like right now. I need to not be bugged about this."

"Any sleep at all will only help you."

"You wouldn't say that if you were in my head, so back the _fuck_ off!" She glared, crossing her arms. With a quiet sob, I turned away. I shook my head, unable to even look at her, "Please stop with this. I'm suffering enough."

"I know." She replied, "I know you're suffering, and I'm trying to help you."

"Just leave me alone." I muttered, "That's all you have to do. Is that so hard?"

"Yes." She answered, "Come on." She attempted to take a gentle hold of my wrist, but I yanked it free. I didn't like that from her any more than I liked it from that bitch in the yard. Mainly because I knew what Alice was intending to do.

I moved for the door, the only exit to the porch in the room, but she countered, "Uh-uh. Wrong way."

"So now I'm stuck in here?"

"Yes." She replied simply, "Until you at least try to sleep, you're stuck in here."

"It's not happening." I growled, sitting back down in the chair I'd just vacated.

"Leandra, it's either let Esme help you, or let Carlisle give you something." She stood in front of me, "I'm done watching you do this to yourself."

"I'm done letting you boss me around."

"You're not allowed to be done."

"The fuck I'm not."

"And the language." She muttered.

"What?"

"Stop it."

"Why?" I stood up, stepping around her, heading for the kitchen, "It's not like it's killing anyone."

"You're ten years old." She glared.

"I am?" I asked, my tone exploding with sarcasm, "Wow. I really didn't fucking know that. Thanks."

She sighed, "I don't want to fight with you."

"Then leave me alone."

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle about giving you something." She told me.

"Doesn't mean I'll take it." I grumbled.

"Leandra." Esme sighed the second she saw me, "You really shouldn't be fighting with her."

"She started it." I grumbled, heading around the counter for a water glass.

"She's right." Esme countered, "Please just consider it."

"Not you too." I whined, filling the glass with water. I really didn't want to fight with her too.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me instead. I sighed. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. She asked me that instead of cooking a lot these days, otherwise most of what she made, short of a bite or two, went to waste.

"Not really."

"A few bites." She requested quietly, so I sighed again, rounded the counter and sat down in one of the seats there. Showing my cooperation. Taking the hint, she immediately got started heating something up from the night before for me.

I looked over as Carlisle walked in, just getting home from work. He'd been working as few hours as he could get away with lately. Probably needing to focus all he could on me and what to do about me.

"Alice is going to rat on me." I informed him before the garage door had even closed behind him.

"They were arguing again." Esme explained gently.

"She wants you to drug me." I sipped from the glass of water again, "To force some stupid pill down my throat to make me easier for her to handle."

"It's not like that, and you know it." Alice stepped into the kitchen, "Carlisle, you need to do something. She's getting worse."

"Alice." Esme corrected her, putting a stop to that right there. Probably to keep me from stop giving what little cooperation I'd chosen to give so far.

"Yeah, Alice." I grumbled, and she huffed, turning. I shook my head. I knew she was pissed off at me, but I was pretty pissed off at her, too. A small bowl was placed in front of me, and I looked at it for a moment or two. I had agreed to a few bites, and I couldn't exactly go back on that now.

Sighing, Carlisle followed Alice, which made me feel a little better about eating. I wasn't being watched as closely. I managed about five good bites, and three half ones before I couldn't have any more. That was more than I'd agreed on anyway, so other than a light request to try a little more, Esme didn't push it.

I left the kitchen, rubbing my tumbling stomach. Carlisle standing from where he and Alice sat, probably talking about me, was my cue to leave.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called toward my retreating back.

"I'm not taking anything." I replied firmly, ducking into my room and shutting the door firmly behind me.

I knew from experience that all I was doing by acting this way was hurting myself. Jasper had shown me that back in New York, which was why I just wanted to hide away from it, but then again, what would it matter? There was no way I could possibly be hurting any more than I already was.

To keep myself awake, I made sure to sit on the floor. Upright, against the side of my bed. I wasn't taking any risks.

"Leandra." Alice was outside my bedroom door. I ignored her, so she spoke again, "I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work."

"Then what am I doing?" I grumbled, and the door came open. I was curious to know what she thought I was doing. There was no possible way she knew.

"You're trying to push us away." She replied, crossing her arms, "Hoping we'll somehow get tired of it, and kick you out."

"Wrong." I sighed, "But not a bad idea. I'll get started on that."

"Then why?" She asked, her tone a whole lot gentler as she took a few steps forward, "Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you suddenly so distant? So stubborn, and so mean when all we're trying to do is help you? It's never been like this before."

I looked down, studying my hands clasped together. I wouldn't answer that. I never did every other time they'd asked about it, so why would I answer it now?

"Alice?" Carlisle was in the doorway as well. Taking the hint, she sighed and turned. Leaving the room.

I kept my silence, though. Over the course of the next half hour or so, he talked to me, but I didn't talk back. I didn't want that stupid little pill in his hand. I did take it from him, but only chose to throw it across the room as hard as I could. That should have told him my choice. He caught it before it could even bounce off the wall, and returned to my bedside with a sigh.

"Talk to me." He requested.

"There's nothing to talk about." I mumbled.

"Leandra." He wasn't willing to let it go.

"I just don't see what the big deal is." I said, "Why can't I just stay awake if I want to?"

"Staying awake for extended periods of time like this is very bad for your health." He replied, "Humans need sleep. It's just how it goes. Keeping yourself going like this can lead to numerous health problems. At very least. Humans use sleep to replenish themselves. It's sort of a reset for them, which they need to stay healthy."

"I don't care."

"You should." He pointed out.

"But I don't." I countered, "I can't sleep anyway."

"You've hardly tried-"

"Yes I did." I snapped lightly. He held up the pill once more, and I took it from him, just to move to throw it again, but his hand caught mine.

"Please." He murmured, "Just this once." I shook my head. I wasn't willing to budge this time. Instead of throwing it, though, I reached over and dropped it on the table beside the bed. Giving the offending pill a parting glare before looking to him again.

Remembering the last time I took that damn thing, my dreams weren't quite as bad as they were now. What would taking that do now? Sighing, I looked up at him.

"I know." He told me, "I understand you're afraid, and I can't blame you, but there are certain risks to your health that need to be considered now the longer you go without allowing yourself the sleep you require."

Again with that. I sighed, "I slept yesterday."

"Half an hour hardly counts." He replied, "And you weren't sleeping the way you should. You were half asleep, at best. The moment you actually did start to sleep the way you should, you woke yourself up."

"That's not my fault."

"Just try, Leandra." He requested softly, "Please."

"I did try it." I muttered, "I tried that damn thing in New York. I'm not taking it again."

"Then at least tell me why."

"I shouldn't need a reason."

"Leandra, how am I going to help you if-"

"I don't need help."

"You may not need help," He said, "But you do need sleep."

"I don't need that either." I grumbled, forcing myself to my feet, "I don't need anything. I'm just fine how I am."

"Your behavior is telling me otherwise."

"Then check again." I replied, turning for the door. He caught up to me easily, standing in my way briefly before kneeling down in front of me.

"Listen, Leandra." He told me, catching my wrist lightly as I moved to turn away, "You can't do this to yourself. I know what you're doing."

"No you don't."

"I do." He replied, "I know. I understand completely, and if you'd just-"

"I'm fine." I was getting mad again, "Why won't anyone believe me? What do I have to do to prove that?"

"Start sleeping again, for one." He answered, and I looked away, "Maybe eat a little bit? You're so bitter. Distant all the time, and I don't know what to do to help you, because you refuse to talk about it." I tried to turn away again, but he held fast to my wrist, "Leandra, listen. Please listen. I know what you're going through, but you don't have to go through it alone. We heard it too. We understand-"

"You have no idea." I snapped again, but kept my tone quiet, "You don't know what that's like, Carlisle. He's all I remember. He's the one that raised me. He was the only parent I had. I grew up with him talking to me like that, even worse than that, and I know you think you know what that can do to someone, but I do know. I was there. I don't need your help. I don't need anyone else's help. I need to be left alone!"

"I understand that." He said again, "But something you're not understanding is that he's not the one in your life anymore."

"Yes he is." I insisted.

"In what way?" I sobbed now in my irritation. Fighting back tears as hard as I could. I yanked my wrist from his hand, moving for the door again.

"Leandra-"

"Just because he's not right here doesn't mean I don't see him all the fucking time." I was losing that calm, "What part of that is so hard for you to get? It's not over! It's never been over!"

Out in the hall, Alice stood there with a very unhappy look on her face.

"Now what?" I snapped sharply, "You want to start in on me again too?"

"Alice." Carlisle sighed, and once again, I knew he was saying more than just her name, "I think it'd be a good idea. We can't risk it anymore."

That confused me. Obviously an earlier discussion they'd had, she didn't reply to him. She didn't even look at him. Keeping her eyes on me. Seconds of watching me later, she shook her head and walked away. Which relieved me. I was already feeling pretty damn defensive, and I didn't want to fight with her anymore.

I continued on my way. I didn't know exactly where I was going. There weren't many places for me to go, so I settled for pacing by the couch.

Watching me from where he sat on the couch, Emmett stayed quiet. The way I felt, had Emmett said something, I would have hit him.

I had never felt exactly like this before. Not that I remembered. The outbursts in New York were different. This felt different. In New York, I felt angry. This felt more like desperation. Frustration, but not anger. Fear drove me, kept me going.

Oddly enough, I felt cornered. All the time. Even here, I felt like my back was against the wall, and there was no way out. I knew exactly why I felt this way, but I didn't understand why I felt the way I felt here of all places. I trusted everyone here with my life. That hadn't changed.

I'd felt this way for a solid week now, and it was getting harder to deal with. It wasn't the fear I felt before, when I knew that woman was coming for me, but this was all my own. It was just not the same.

A squeezing pressure, a choking anticipation. The same anticipation I felt in the dark, but it had spilled over into my daytime life. I was so scared, all the time, and nobody short of Jasper could fix that. He couldn't even fix it. He could only cover it.

To them, it'd be difficult to tell the difference between acting out this way and the way I'd acted out in New York, but I could feel it easily, and it was driving me up the wall. Getting bugged about it only made that worse, because I didn't know if I even wanted to explain it, much less if I could.

Carlisle watched me as well, but he didn't speak this time. Probably letting me calm down before trying again, but he wasn't willing to leave me alone completely.

It took me a few minutes, but surprisingly, I did start to calm down. I could suddenly breathe again, pausing in my pacing. My stomach ached and tumbled, and I sighed, sitting down in the nearest chair. Gripping my hair in my hands, the tugging helped with the tension. The constant tension that refused to fade.

I hated what I was allowing to happen to me. As easy as it was for everyone else, I just couldn't pretend everything was fine. I couldn't handle the squeezing pressure or the choking anticipation and I was losing it. It was ripping me apart like I knew Jack would the second he had me again.

I let my hands fall from my hair at that thought. My hair was like a handle for him, something of mine he gripped tightly and painfully every chance he got. I didn't like the reminder.

I looked over as Alice descended the stairs again. Standing back up, I tensed in preparation for the fight undoubtedly coming. I didn't want any more pressure from them, but I didn't have anywhere to run to get away from it. The pressure today was a lot heavier than it had been yet, and I was cornered.

"Relax." She told me, and though I narrowed my eyes a little, I sat back down. Laying back in the chair, slouching a little. I rested my eyes closed. I was too worn out to keep that up for very long, so it wasn't a surprise how quickly I had to take her advice. How quickly I could suddenly breathe again.

Behind me, the door opened and my eyes opened with the sound.

"Thank you, Jazz." Alice's statement had me look back. Sure enough, Jasper was home. Stepping inside with his eyes on me.

"That's not fair." I muttered, "And you know it."

"What isn't fair is the way you're making yourself feel." He countered quietly.

"Yeah." I replied bitterly, "Because I can control it." The sarcasm was heavy, "I don't care what emotions you take. I won't go to sleep."

"I don't just take them, Leandra." He stepped around the chair to stand with Carlisle, "I manipulate them. Meaning, I can change what you feel. That means either dulling them completely, or switching them for different emotions. Right now, your fear is making you hesitant. I can change that. You'll be a whole lot more cooperative."

"Cooperating isn't an emotion." I frowned.

"Bet me." He countered. I hesitated.

"I don't want to." I wasn't willing to bet against him when it came to emotions. He knew what he was talking about better than anyone when it came to that subject.

He sighed, "Cooperation is all about how you feel about something."

"You wouldn't do that." I muttered, looking down at my hands resting on my stomach, "I didn't ask for your help, so you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't make me feel something when I don't want to."

"No, but you certainly need it." He replied.

"I'm _fine_."

"It takes a lot to upset Alice." He explained firmly, "A whole lot."

Without the more intense emotions, I could feel bad again. Nowhere near how I felt the last time Jasper had to stomp on my temper, but I did feel bad. I hadn't wanted to upset her. I glanced over at her. Her arms crossed, she watched me right back.

"She started it." I grumbled, my eyes down again, "I just wanted to be left alone."

"When your behavior starts threatening your health, that's when we get concerned." He told me, "And right now, we're all very concerned."

"It's not that big of a deal." I sighed.

"It is that big of a deal." He argued.

"How can not sleeping even affect me that bad?" I asked, "Yeah, I'm tired. Sure, I'm a little snappy, but you'll get over it."

"It can affect a lot of things, Leandra." Carlisle spoke up, "A lot more things than you just being a little tired."

"God," I groaned, laying my head back, "I _don't_ care."

"Stop that." Alice barked from where she stepped around the chair as well.

"You stop it." I stood up. Was this round two?

"Leandra, what is going on with you?" She demanded.

"Three goddamn guesses!"

"Whoa." Jasper stepped forward, his frown deeply disapproving. He must have felt that quick increase in anger. Either that, or he hated that word.

"Both of you, stop it." Esme stepped into the room, "That's enough." I looked down as Jasper move to stand between Alice and I.

"Leandra, I told you back in New York that I wouldn't do what I did again, but I have to say that I'm tempted." I knew what he meant. He meant taking every other emotion aside from my emotional pain, which only increased that pain. The first and last time he'd done that, it hurt me so bad, he swore never to do that again. He didn't like causing me that much pain, or punishing me that way.

"Do it then." I snapped, looking up at him, "I don't care." I turned, heading for the porch. I couldn't help feeling, as I made it outside onto the porch without a change, that I'd just called his bluff.

I took a deep breath outside, closing my eyes for a moment as I leaned tiredly against the railing. The rainy weather woke me up a little more, but there was a limit to that.

"Why are you torturing yourself like this?" Emmett had followed me.

"Might as well get used to it." I mumbled, and he sighed.

"You know we'd never let anything happen to you."

"That you can help." I corrected, "Sometimes bad shit happens, and there's no way to avoid it. You heard what he said."

"I heard his threats." He agreed, "But that doesn't mean he's going to win. No way in hell."

"This is stupid." I sighed, "Why are you doing this? You know what he can do. I'm not worth all that. All that crap Alice said on Christmas, she was wrong. I'm barely worth the air it takes to keep me alive. Just hand me over and be done with it."

"Don't tell me that again." He told me firmly, "You're the one who's wrong, shorty."

"You don't deserve whatever he's going to do." I shook my head, "It's not fair to you if I stay. I care about you too much."

"You're sure not acting like it." He pointed out, "What the hell was that in there?" I stayed quiet, looking forward again, "You would rather go back to that, than stay where it's safe, because whatever he might do _might_ inconvenience us a little bit?"

"Yes." I sighed, "I've been saying that this whole time."

"Oh, shorty.." He sighed as well, shaking his head.

"What?"

"Is that the reason why you haven't been sleeping?"

"Not the whole reason." I shrugged a little.

"Then what is the rest of the reason?" I looked down at that question, "Come on, shorty. You can tell me."

"No I can't."

"And why is that?"

"I just can't." I muttered, "I don't know what the big deal is. It's not possible for me to stay awake forever. I'll pass out eventually."

"And that's what worries us." He replied, "You need to sleep, not pass out."

"Remember when I passed out for twelve hours?" I asked.

"That's your goal?" He countered, "Do you know how bad that scared us?"

"I'm not saying that's my goal." I replied, "I'm just saying it'll probably be like that."

"Well, whatever you're doing, you need to stop it." He was never firm with me. Not like this. I frowned. The last time he was like this was back in New York, when I was putting up a fight about school. He sighed heavily. His hand found my upper arm gently, and he turned me around to face him, "Did you know, that if you go long enough without sleep, you could develop a whole lot of serious health problems, that could eventually kill you? Yes, you could die. Yes, not sleeping could kill you."

"So what?" I grumbled, moving passed him, "I'm going to die soon anyway. Might as well make it my choice." He stared after me for a second or two, probably outraged, but I never looked at his expression.

"Just hold on there." He followed me back into the house. I had nowhere to go anymore to be alone, and that was just making everything worse.

I stepped passed Carlisle, headed back for my room. I ignored all the other shocked expressions on my way through the room.

"Leandra." Esme wasn't having that, though. That made me stop. I didn't want to fight with her too. She was the last one I hadn't fought with or snapped at yet.

"What?" I asked.

"Explain yourself." She told me firmly, and I sighed. Turning a little, I leaned back against the wall, looking down.

"There's nothing to explain." I replied.

"That's bull." Emmett was upset now, which was even harder to do than upsetting Alice.

"Just.." I whined, covering my face with my hands, "Please. Leave me alone. Just drop it."

"See," Emmett said, "I would have, but you said something that is really undroppable. Like hell I'm letting that drop."

"I didn't mean to say that." I shook my head, keeping my face covered, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Jasper demanded.

"I don't know." I replied, "Just.." I didn't know how to explain it, "I'm sorry, okay?"

"No." Emmett shook his head as well, "Not okay." I didn't know what to say, or how to feel. Jasper's controlling my emotions was messing me all up, which really wasn't hard to do even without his help.

I yelped as I was suddenly hauled off my feet and thrown over Emmett's shoulder. The second that registered to me, though, I was already in my room and being lightly tossed onto my bed.

"Surprise slumber party." He said, watching as I fought off my bed. He just picked me up and lightly tossed me again. Right back onto my bed. About the third time that happened, I started getting pissed.

"Stop it!"

"I'm not going anywhere until you sleep." He countered. I stood up again, and ran toward the door this time. Of course it wasn't fast enough. I didn't even notice how close I was to crying until I was suddenly sobbing. Shoving against him and hitting at him, furious.

"Come on, shorty." He said, "You can hit harder than that, can't you?" I didn't like being made fun of, so that just pissed me off even more. He caught my blows easily, keeping me from hurting myself. He spoke over the sound of my cries, "See this? This is called a temper tantrum. This is what happens when you haven't slept enough in over a week."

"I don't care!"

"Yes you do." He replied easily, "You care."

"Move!"

"No." He laughed, "Did you really expect that to work? I guarantee Rose's temper is a lot worse than yours is right now. You're tired, and the only remedy for that is for you to sleep."

The only time he'd let me go was when I moved back, away from him and away from the door.

"We've suggested that you sleep," He spoke as I gave up and flopped back onto my bed, rubbing my eyes. Sobbing hopelessly, "We've asked you to sleep, we've pleaded with you to sleep. I'm sorry, but now I'm demanding it."

Crying was the opposite of helpful to my cause. Crying just made my eyes burn if I opened them, so I had to leave them closed, but the longer I left them closed, the more I desperately wanted to fall asleep.

Forcing myself to sit up, that told my brain that sleeping wasn't possible right then. Even if I couldn't open my eyes.

"Go to sleep, shorty." He told me, "It's the only option you have. Pretty soon you're going to start hallucinating, and I don't want to have to be the one to tell you those chipmunks aren't real, so I'm going to wait here until you get some sleep."

"You're going to be waiting a long time." I muttered, fighting back more tears.

"The good news is that I can also pretty much guarantee that you'll give in way before I do."

I fought off the bed again, "I have to pee."

"Go pee, then." He said, stepping back, "But that excuse won't work again, so make it good." I stepped passed him. Though I had intended to make a run for it, I actually did have to go, and rinsing my face off with cool water felt amazing, so I didn't regret it.

I tried to run the second I stepped out, but he wasn't the only one that found this to be a good idea. Carlisle caught me before I even made it to the couch, lifting me up as well. I expected that, so I just managed to hold my curse words back. Glaring at him instead.

"I'm sorry." He said, "But Emmett is right. Enough is enough. It's time for us to intervene." Stupidly, I started to cry again.

"Stop it." I snapped at Jasper through tears.

"I'm not doing anything." He replied simply, "That's all you." It sure felt like he was, but I knew he wouldn't lie about something like that. I could tell in his tone that he was being honest.

"I know you don't want to sleep." Carlisle spoke again, "But I also know you'll feel differently once you have." He carried me back toward my room himself, much to Emmett's amusement.

"She's not happy." Emmett chuckled, "That look."

"Emmett." Carlisle corrected quietly, setting me back onto my bed. I hated that, as I honestly wasn't too sure I could stay awake in here. I glared at the comforter, deeply unhappy with this pressure.

"I'll tell you what, shorty." Emmett said, "One hour. One hour of sleep, and you can get up, but you have to give it an honest try." Carlisle looked over at him.

"One hour?" I asked after a short pause, "And you'll stop bugging me about it?"

"I'll stop bugging until this becomes necessary again." He replied, "I'll stop bugging, Alice will stop bugging, and so will Carlisle. One hour of sleep, and we'll leave you alone about it."

That sounded reasonable. I was obviously getting a lot in return for just laying here for an hour. That offer was very tempting.

"What do you say?" He asked, "One hour of your time. After that, you can get up and continue terrorizing us. Run around, kicking puppies and drowning fish or whatever it is you little demons do." I deserved that title.

"I don't terrorize anyone," I grumbled, "And I don't kick puppies, but fine." I sighed heavily and laid down, curling up on my side. Just so he'd think I was getting comfortable. Completely ignoring the fact that I actually was.

"I can't try with you staring at me like that." I muttered, cuddling a pillow to me. Carlisle instantly got moving, heading for the door.

"Fine." Emmett said, "I'll be standing right outside the door. I better hear snoring in five minutes."

"I don't snore."

"You know what I mean." He said, "And I'll know if you get up."

"So what if I do?"

"Then the hour starts all over again." This was getting complicated.

"How's that fair?"

"One hour, shorty." He pointed at me, "Even if you don't sleep. Just.. Lay in here and think about.. Whatever it is you think about. Just humor me. Down time."

"Fine." I muttered, and he nodded. Turning, he crossed the room. Following Carlisle from the room, and shutting the door behind him. I looked to the clock on the bedside table. It was five-thirty-two in the evening. I could hold out and lay still until six-thirty, but an hour seemed like such a long time now.

Resting my eyes couldn't hurt..

By the time I opened my eyes again, though, nine hours had passed. It honestly hadn't felt like I'd fallen asleep, but I obviously had. It only felt to me like seconds had passed. The clock reading two-forty-five in the morning, when I'd only just closed my eyes to rest them seconds before. When had I fallen asleep?

"Leandra?" It was someone coming in that had woken me up. It was Alice, probably coming in to see if I was still alive. Probably just making sure I hadn't laid down and just died. Closing my eyes again, I barely remembered giving her a grunt in response. She spoke again, "You okay?"

"Go away please." I mumbled into my pillow, "I'm not done." She laughed a little.

"Do you want your nightlight on?"

"Don't need it." I mumbled again, which was true. Other than looking at the clock to see what time it was, I left my eyes closed. With my eyes closed, I didn't care either way. I was too tired to be afraid of the dark right then.

"Okay." She said, "Emmett is still right outside, so if you need anything-"

"'Kay." I grumbled, "Go away please." She laughed again, and I assumed she left, because I was able to fall right back to sleep. I should have been surprised she was in here at all, with how much crap I'd given her the last couple of days. Alice must not have been the type to hold grudges.

Opening my eyes next, it was seven-thirty in the morning.

"Dammit." I mumbled sleepily. I had no choice but to get up this time, as I really needed to use the bathroom. I forced myself to sit up fully and stand. To my surprise, Emmett was still standing outside my bedroom door.

"Whoa." I muttered, but more out of surprise of how long I'd slept.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"Shut up." I grumbled, turning and heading for the bathroom, "That's never working again." I closed the door firmly behind myself with a sigh.

"And by the way," He called from the hall, "You do snore. A little bit, but you snore."

"Go away." I barked toward the door. I hated that I'd given in like that, but I reasoned with myself. I wouldn't have given in if Emmett hadn't tricked me like that. That hadn't been my fault.

"What do you have against sleeping?" Emmett asked the second I left the bathroom, "You didn't dream."

"I would have if I hadn't been so dang tired." I replied, stepping around him, "You're lucky I don't hit you."

"You tried to yesterday, remember?"

"Shut up." I grumbled again. It was sort of surprising thinking back now about how I acted. I hadn't even realized at the time how different I'd been acting. Like I was recalling memories from a different person. That couldn't possibly have been me.

"Do you know how many times I got called a genius?" He asked, "I'm proud of that."

"Well.." I grumbled, sitting down in the chair, "Like I said. That's not happening again."

"In all fairness, I never said I'd wake you up after an hour had passed." He told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. Actually, no. I'm not sorry that I'm not sorry, because I care about you, shorty. I wasn't just going to let you keep that up."

I sighed, "I know."

"What's bugging you so much?" Emmett asked.

"Three guesses." I mumbled. He stayed quiet, so I spoke again, "Emmett, what if Edward hadn't been here? Where would I be now? I can't stop thinking about that. I don't ever want to end up there, but.. What happens when I do?"

"You won't." He told me, "I won't let you."

"You keep saying that," I sat straighter, "But you would have. I don't blame you for not knowing, but you would have. You would have let her take me, and I'd probably never have seen you again. She would have taken me, and I'd never see any of you again. Do you know how hard it is on me to know that?"

"It's true." He murmured, "We didn't know. We thought it was because of all the rules we'd been breaking with you, and truthfully, they weren't very happy about that, but to send someone out here to take you really didn't make sense because they weren't that unhappy with us." He sighed, "But see, you held out."

"I know I did." I replied, "But think about it, Emmett. You heard him talk, but you really have no idea what kind of person he is. He promised he'd see me again, and he doesn't make promises without keeping them."

"Are you forgetting what we've told you repeatedly?" He asked, "I promised you'd never see him again, shorty, and I don't make that promise without keeping it. There are seven of us. Two humans. No contest."

"Two of them," I shook my head, "Two humans who know how to not get caught, and with enough money waved at them, anybody would help him. I'm not safe anywhere."

"You're safe anywhere we are." He argued, "Do you really think we'd let you out of our sight? Do you really think we'd just let someone take off with you? Anywhere you go, we'll go. It's not a problem, shorty." He sighed, "That's why you haven't been sleeping. You don't feel safe anymore."

I looked down. I didn't want them to know that.

"This is a problem." Emmett sighed again.

"I didn't want you to know that." I muttered, my tone shameful, "I thought if enough time passed, it would fix itself."

"But it hasn't." He observed, and I shook my head.

"Not yet." I admitted.

"What would help?" He asked.

"Go back in time?" I suggested, "Before that day. That's the only thing I can think of." I curled up lightly.

"You'll see, shorty." He assured me, "Nothing can get to you here."

"How is Alyssa?" I asked, and he smiled a little. Knowing I was changing the subject.

"She's good." He replied, "She and the others are just fine."

"Does she know Rose is there?"

"No." He replied, "Rose is just keeping an eye on them from a distance."

"What about that counselor?" I asked.

"Not a whole lot we can do about her without proof, shorty." He said, "It's a little difficult. Rose was tempted there for a minute to take her out, but Carlisle won't let her."

"Why is she being so nice to me suddenly?" I asked, "I thought she still hated me."

"She's never hated you." He replied, "She actually admires you."

"She does?"

"Yeah." He laughed as if that were obvious, "Do you have any idea the guts it takes to stand up to her the way you did that day? Pissed off or not, that was pretty amazing."

"I shouldn't have spoken to her like that." I muttered.

"And she knows you're sorry." He explained, "She just really didn't know how to react, and I guess she still doesn't, but she respects you for it. You're really not what she expected."

"Why won't she tell me that?"

"It's a little hard to get her to open up like that." He replied, "To anyone. She's a little more complicated than Alice." I nodded a little, understanding that, "She has trouble sometimes expressing how she feels, and a lot of the time, she comes off as.. Well, a little cold. It just takes some time to get to know her. Just don't tell her I told you all this. She'll take my head off."

Unfortunately, I laughed a little. It faded quickly, but it was a laugh nonetheless.

"I won't." I told him.

"So.." He muttered, "I wouldn't think of it like that. She's not suddenly being so nice to you. She's finally coming around, and learning how to show it."

"Why?"

"That day, last week.." He answered, "Well, it wasn't just hard on you, shorty. You don't know how hard it was on us to think you were being taken. All of us."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking down.

"Especially to think you were going back to her?" He asked, "Even if Jack-ass actually hadn't been there. To know what she put you through was enough. It took work to get you away from there, and she wanted you back? Hell no. So I did what I could to keep you here."

"You stalled her just as much as I did." I recalled, and he smiled a little.

"I wasn't letting you go without some sort of fight." He replied, "I didn't think I could beat her into an unrecognizable mess, but I could argue my ass off. Just to buy you a little more time to wait for Carlisle."

"Thanks." I sighed.

"Not only did I know you'd want to see him one last time, in case she did take you," He explained, "But I knew he'd know more about what to do, and boy did he." I nodded a little, agreeing with that, "You don't know how hard he's working for you, shorty."

"I know."

"You have no idea." He murmured, "I know it's hard, but cut him some slack. It's one thing to run back and forth, like the rest of us have been doing, but who do you think we call if we find something off? Who do you think directs us where we should be?"

I hadn't thought of it like that, but he continued.

"There's a reason we consult with him for everything," He told me, "And that's because he needs to know this stuff if he's going to keep everyone going. He knows what he's doing. If everyone just sort of ran around doing whatever the heck they felt like, hiding stuff from him, well.. This little grouping here really wouldn't work too well, now would it?"

I looked down.

"The same goes for you, shorty." He added, "You're part of this now. He'd never say anything, but I know it gets to him how iffy you are to really trust him."

"I trust him."

"But you're holding back." He corrected, "Just the way you do with all of us. It's no secret around here that one decent gust of wind could send that trust toppling over. It's flimsy, at best. One slightest issue or mistake, and you yank that trust, everything Carlisle works for, right back like nothing and it's back to square one."

I hadn't even realized it, but he was right.

"Before all the crap last week, that was the most we'd had your trust." He sighed, "There was definite progress, and we were just getting to the good part, but literally overnight, all of that was gone because of that Jack-ass." He sighed, "That's not your fault, but to find out that you don't feel safe anymore? Well, that just pisses me off at that fucker for taking that from not just you, but us."

"I'm trying." I whimpered.

"I know." He replied, "Geez, shorty. I don't blame you. Nobody does."

"I'm sorry." I said, "For the way he is." He sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair as he clearly had to think about his response.

"How many times have you told Alyssa not to apologize for the things someone else says or does?" He finally asked, "And don't say that it's not the same thing, because it is. You need to look around you, shorty. You're not to blame for anything that happens."

"You heard what he said."

"Yes." He said, "I heard him. I heard every word, shorty, but just because there are witnesses to his jack-assery doesn't make him right. That's all he is. Some pathetic little excuse for a sub-human, that talks nothing but shit to make himself feel better. He's the kind of person that only causes pain in other people because he's nothing but a scared little boy himself. Think of him as a person like Sammy. In his mind, nothing can touch him, but he's in for a really rude awakening when reality steps in and brings him down a few hundred places, or six feet under."

"Wow." I muttered, actually surprised. I'd never heard him make so much sense in one little speech before.

"He hides behind you, thinking he can somehow intimidate us the way he does you, and he's about to learn fast that that shit doesn't fly." He added, "There's no fucking way he's going to win this. No chance in hell, and one day soon, he's going to wake up to find his worst nightmare has found him. So.."

He reached forward and poked his finger lightly against the end of nose. Keeping it there, and surprisingly, I let it stay there.

"Stop apologizing for what he does." He told me, "It makes absolutely no sense. It's like an ant apologizing for the foot that crushed it, or some animal apologizing for the keepers at the zoo for imprisoning it. It's like Alyssa apologizing for the things Sammy did or said. Exactly the same."

"I'll try." I mumbled, and he smiled a little.

"Nothing he ever says or does would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever change the way we see you, and for damn sure wouldn't change how we protect you." He sighed, "The only thing it does is make us more determined, shorty. You're busy worrying about what could have happened when you need to focus on what actually did happen. You're just as safe now as you've always been with us. I promise."

"Okay." I sighed, and he finally let his hand drop.

"Next time, don't torture yourself." He requested, "Talk to me about it if nothing else, because we can't stand to see you suffer."

"What do I do about my dreams, though?" I asked, "I don't like seeing them."

"They're worse now, aren't they?"

"Much." I admitted.

"We could always have Alice interrogate you again." He suggested, "That seemed to free up some room in there the last time, right?"

"This is different, I think."

"How?"

"Because I heard it." I replied, "His voice. That changes things a little bit."

"It's worth a try, isn't it?"

"Not today." I muttered, laying back.

"Why not?"

"I don't like talking about that stuff." I mumbled.

"Nobody expects you to like talking about it." He said, "I just know it helped last time." I whimpered, leaning forward and rubbing my eyes roughly.

"Come on, shorty." He noticed.

"I wish we could just go back." I mumbled, falling and laying to the side, "To two weeks ago. Before we left New York, and I could just.. Change everything."

He sighed, "Is this about Mikah now?"

"It wasn't." I replied, "But now it is."

"You know he's fine."

"I'd rather be able to talk to him." I admitted, "I miss him so much."

"You're too young to be this love sick, shorty." He muttered.

"It's not even about that." I shook my head, rolling to my back to look at him, "It wasn't really ever about that. It was like.. When I was sad, he knew how to change that. Without even trying, just by talking to me, he made everything okay again. He made everything better. I guess that sort of thing was addicting.

"I know he'd know what to say this time, too." I sighed, "And who even knows if I'll even see him again this time? And if I do, who even knows if he'll be the same person he was before? That's who I want to see. I don't want to see someone that looks sort of like him, but completely different. I miss who he was before. I miss old him. Not new him. People change when they're turned, don't they?"

"Not completely, shorty." He finally spoke, "There'd still be a little bit of that in there somewhere."

"But he won't be the same."

"Well.." He sighed, "Probably not the exact same."

"Would he even remember me?" I asked quietly, "He probably wouldn't even know who I was. I'm nothing but a human to him now. That's what he eats."

"You're overthinking."

"I don't care." I sighed, sitting up, "It's better to overthink about this stuff than the stuff I usually overthink about these days, isn't it? It's one thing or another. I wish I'd known what would happen to him that night. It's not fair."

He hesitated a moment, looking down, "You sort of did."

I looked over, "What do you mean?"

"You probably don't really remember this, because you were.. Really pretty out of it, but-"

"Don't you dare." Alice suddenly landed in the open space beside me on the couch, "She doesn't need to know that."

"Oh, come on." Emmett muttered.

"No." I said, "What do you mean?"

"Emmett." Alice spoke again, "How is telling her this going to make anything better?"

"Tell me." I murmured.

"The night you first woke up, after being unconscious for so long?" Emmett prompted, and I nodded. Ignoring Alice's frustrated sigh beside me, he went on, "You were pretty insistent on going to see Mikah. You wanted so bad to go see him, but of course with nobody thinking much of it, there was no way we were letting you go anywhere in your condition."

"So.." I frowned, "That means I knew something was going to happen."

"I think it's safe to say." Alice mumbled, "But we were just thinking it was normal. Your thoughts weren't making a whole lot of sense, so we didn't think anything of it."

I didn't know how to feel about that, to be honest. Had they listened to me, his disappearance probably could have been prevented, but with pretty much everything out of my mouth not making much sense, why would they put any thought into it when I brought him up?

"It's not your fault." I eventually said, sighing.

"You're not mad?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"No." I replied, "I'm just.. I.. It's hard for me to believe I could call that when I'd been out pretty much that whole day."

"I already told you." She said, "Your gift is developing. I have a few theories about that, but we'll get into that another time."

I looked over at her, "Is that why you believed me so easy when I told you that something was going to happen last week?"

"Partly." She nodded, "That, and I know if your gift is going to develop as much as it can, you need to know that you'll be listened to. You need to be taken seriously, and it paid off."

"Not for Mikah." I argued, looking back down.

"Maybe not for Mikah." She replied, "But that wasn't your fault. You tried for Mikah, but had you not insisted so much that something was going to go wrong, Carlisle might not have found that woman's visit quite as odd."

"Really?" That surprised me.

"He knew to pay closer attention." She replied, "So, in a way, you helped prevent her from taking you."

"I actually did something right for once?" I couldn't believe it.

"You did." She nodded, "Reminding him of the dream you couldn't remember also helped. You did exactly the right things that day, Leandra."

"I couldn't have done it without everyone else." I reminded her, "All I really did was freak out."

"For good reason, shorty." Emmett added quietly.

"I know." She murmured, "But everything you did allowed us to help you. You bought yourself just as much time as Emmett bought you."

"That changes things a bit." I muttered to myself.

"You need to have more confidence in yourself, Leandra." She told me, "I know it's irritating at times, trying to see around something. Believe me, I get that. Until you know for sure, there's only so much you can do. I can tell you that I believe your ability is going to be a lot stronger than mine is."

"Even if I can only see me?"

"Even then." She said, "Because I can't see that far ahead. You obviously can." I gave her a small doubtful look, "If you were dreaming, trying to see what was going to happen last week back in October, do you know what that says about your ability?"

"Maybe I just know him well enough to know what he was going to do." I reasoned, "That doesn't mean I'm anything special."

"That's the doubt that needs to end." She replied, "That right there. With all the evidence right in front of you of what you can do, why do you still doubt?"

"Just how I am, I guess." I shrugged a little, "I've never been worth anything before. I don't know how to be worth anything now."

"That reminds me." She muttered, "Leandra, about what Jack told you-"

"He was being nice." I mumbled, looking down instantly, "I don't want to talk about that."

"None of that was true." She pressed anyway, "Not one word of it. Em's right."

"I am?" He muttered, and the surprise in his tone was slightly amusing to me.

"He's nothing but a coward." She ignored him, "He himself knows it, and we all do. I just want to tell you not to listen to him."

"I'm so scared." I finally admitted, shaking my head a little, "I don't want to go back to him." Even I knew getting me to admit that was a big step.

"And you won't." She replied easily, "Leandra-"

"I don't want to go back to him," I went on, "But I will if I have to."

"You won't." She repeated, her tone firmer, "I promise. You won't."

Unable to help it, I leaned forward and hugged her.

"Please don't be lying." I whimpered as she returned the hug.

"Have I ever lied to you about something like this?" She asked, "Have any of us lied to you?" I didn't reply, because we both knew the answer to that, "I still stand by what I told you a year ago, Leandra. We promised to help you get away from him, and we intend to do that. You're right. It's not over yet, but it will be."

"I'm sorry." I told her.

"I know." She replied, "You weren't yourself, and that's understandable, but you can't do that again. I don't care if you're moody, but you can't force yourself to stay awake like that."

"Can staying awake like that really kill me?" I asked, sitting back.

"Not staying awake specifically, but it can cause problems with your heart, and other vital organs that can kill you." She replied, "For example, if you're awake long enough, your heart can give out. Blood pressure is effected, which could lead to all sorts of heart problems. Emotions are all over the place, and let me guess. There are parts to this week that you don't remember."

I looked down.

"Lost bits of time you don't remember losing?" She asked, and I nodded a little, "That was you. Compensating for the lack of sleep by making you sleep. You could be awake, but to you, you were asleep. Make sense?" I nodded again, "That's not the kind of sleep you should have been getting. The way you were acting was caused by not getting the sleep you needed, so nobody could really blame you for that exactly, but it's very dangerous to go so long."

"Then there's the whole hallucinating thing." Emmett added, and I looked over at him, "I'm actually surprised that didn't happen."

"What is that?" I asked.

"That's where you start seeing things that aren't really there." He replied, "Not just thinking about them, but actually seeing things. Or it could be hearing things that were never really said. It's basically your brain playing tricks on you because it's exhausted."

"Why was I so mad?" I asked, "For no reason, I was mean."

"Probably the adrenaline." Alice answered, "That happens too. Without that half hour of light sleep every now and then, it would have been worse."

"I won't do that again." I finally relented, "It's just.. Really hard to want to sleep when I know I.. Or think I'm not safe, you know?"

"But you are."

"I know that, but.. It's.. Hard to explain."

"You're highly defensive." She nodded, "And that's understandable too after what happened last week, but you can't let it affect you like that."

My attention was taken by Jasper's return, frowning a little. He risked coming back during the day? Normally when he was over in Idaho watching my dad, he stayed there until at least evening, when he could safely return. Unless Alice called him, like she did the day before. I watched him immediately start up the stairs, not saying a word to any of us.

"Excuse me." Alice murmured, standing up.

"Okay." I mumbled, watching after her as well. Emmett stayed with me, though, so I didn't feel as weird speaking again, "Something's wrong."

"No." He replied, "He just has a question or two for Carlisle."

"Questions that couldn't be handled with a call?" I asked.

"Exactly." He sighed, picking up the TV remote. I frowned, but stopped pressing. Flipping through the channels, he seemed pretty eager to let it go too. I watched as he by-passed all the movie channels, landing on a news channel.

That seemed like a first, but I could recall all the times he'd done that during the week.

"The news?" I asked, and he glanced over at me.

"I'm checking the oil prices." He muttered, and I didn't believe him, but I sighed.

Needless to say, it was a little hard not to believe everything they told me during that talk. Both Alice and Emmett did have many, many points, and I knew they were right, but part of me was afraid to believe that I was still okay. Still pretty shaken, and still very afraid. Jasper wasn't around today. Probably off taking his turn watching over my dad.

Now they knew, however, what Jack was capable of doing to me, even over the phone. How afraid I was of just one person, much less two, was finally made undeniably clear.

I knew I probably should have felt embarrassed or stupid over how I'd been acting lately, but six straight years of hearing that voice, that tone, those threats, those words was bound to leave its mark. My dreams were one thing. This was real.

He was real again. Hearing him behind me in the store that day didn't set me off this bad, oddly enough, but that could have been because he never spoke directly to me then. Though his very presence in itself was a threat to me, he never threatened me out loud. Not like that.

I returned to my room not long later, sitting cross-legged on my bed. For once, focusing on something more than what was going on with me lately. The snow-globe Mikah had given me resting on the bed in front of me, playing its little tune quietly, muffled by the blanket.

I hadn't done this in awhile, just looked at it. This object meant more to me than the necklace did, because he'd given me this himself instead of me only finding it after he disappeared.

I revisited the memories I had of him now, and though they did hurt, they didn't wound me anymore. Though they didn't wound me anymore, I was still hurting.

With all the things he said to me, I honestly wondered what he would say if he was here now. It really bothered me to think that if I ever saw him again, he wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't be who I grew to consider one of the best friends I ever had.

And then, there was the fact that I probably wouldn't even see him again for a long, long time, if at all. Whatever he was doing there in that vision or whatever I'd had of him was obviously changed by now. Probably more than enough to change that part too. That was depressing.

Sighing, I plopped a pillow over the snow-globe. Staring at the pillow for a moment, I sighed again and pulled it away. I missed him too much to cover him with a pillow. As stupid as it was, I was still mending my hurt, and I knew it'd take some time to do that.

**A/N: First chapter in. Not too much going on, but I like how it came out. Every story has to start somewhere, right? :)  
****THANK YOU to those that reviewed the final chapter of last story! I was a little worried about that change. I was convinced it was too different, but I'm glad my faithful reviewers don't think so! :D THANK YOU so much!  
****As for chapter two, it won't be long, as I made sure to move on with that before editing this one. :) It just needs a final go over, and should be ready to go on out in a few days at most.  
****Until Two, my friends! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"This is a really stupid idea." I'd let her know that several times today, "Did you not hear what Jack said that day?"

"You can't live your life petrified of people." Alice insisted, "Now sit still, would you?"

When I refused to cooperate with this in the slightest, it was Alice's job to put my shoes on for me. My arms stayed crossed, and I kicked my feet. Making her have to catch it again.

Apparently, my clothing selection needed updating, and she thought now was a good time to update it. Just a few days later. I was still getting used to being alive again, and she wanted to push it by dragging me away from the house with no input from me. I had an issue with people anyway, but more so now than ever before.

"Are we really going to go over this again?" I snapped, "I had every reason to be afraid of people, unless you forgot."

"I don't forget anything, Leandra." She reminded me, standing up.

"Then why are we going anywhere?" I asked, desperate now, "I had a really bad dream the thirty minutes I slept last night, and I don't want to put up with this today. Can't we go next week? Or never?"

"What was it?" She asked, "The dream. What was it?" I fell quiet. Looking down, "Exactly. If you decide not to talk about it, that's fine, but then you really can't use it as an excuse." I sighed as she continued, "And I told you. You can't live your life petrified of people. I'm not letting some childish little man decide when you, or even I, can or cannot leave this house. Now let's go. I think I'm more than qualified to keep an eye on you without losing you for one afternoon."

"You're going to have to carry me." I argued, "I swear, I'm not taking one step on my own." Sighing again, she reached out and lifted me. Carrying me easily from my room, as I spoke again, "Bad idea. This is a bad idea. Very bad. Very, very, very-"

"She's enthusiastic." Emmett chuckled, "Are you sure you don't want me to come along with you two?"

"No." I muttered. Meaning, no. I wasn't sure. I did want him to go, but Alice was the sure one.

"Yes." Alice replied at the same time, "I think it'll be good for her to see that you're not the only one that can protect her."

Needless to say, no amount of arguing got me my way. One quick phone call, and Rosalie had given her permission to use her car, but only if she swore on her closet of clothes to take care of it. Why Alice didn't have her own car puzzled me. I brought that up, but apparently, flattery wasn't getting me my way either.

I was packed into the passenger seat of the car, and with Emmett leaning against the door, I wasn't going anywhere while Alice climbed into the driver's seat. I'd threatened to cry, puke, pass out, and jump from the car before we'd even left the garage.

I didn't want this. I settled for pouting the entire way along the drive, not bothering to speak as she found the highway.

"Seat belt." She said.

"No."

"Please?"

"No." I repeated. Sighing, she leaned over me and grabbed it. Yanking it across me, folded arms and all, snapping it into place. The car never drifted, oddly enough.

We made it half way before I found something else to bug her about. An opportunity presented itself when her phone rang and she pulled it out. She answered it, but before she could even say anything, I spoke up.

"You're not supposed to talk on the phone while you're driving." I pointed out, and she gave me a look, "You're breaking the law." She continued with the look, making me quite nervous as she didn't look forward again, "What? That's what they said in school."

"Going this fast is breaking the law too." She replied, "I think over twice the legal speed limit would be quite upsetting, don't you think?"

"Twice?" I gasped, "Is it that important that we get there so fast?"

"My, you're fun." She shook her head a little. I picked up the not so subtle hint of sarcasm staining the statement.

"The sarcasm sure wasn't needed, but you're right." I said, "It would be upsetting. Let's just go back before I die, or you go to prison."

"Would you relax?"

"No."

"I know what I'm doing."

"Trying to kill me?" I asked.

"If I was trying to kill you-"

"You'd probably survive a wreck. I wouldn't."

"I wouldn't let that happen."

"Not everything in the world can be prevented, you know." I reminded her, still keeping her from whoever had called, "Seriously. Like.. What would happen if a pelican hit the windshield right now?"

"Really?" Her tone was flat, and she looked over at me incredulously.

"Really." I replied, "A pelican. Or a pigeon, chicken, or anything else that flies."

"Most chickens don't fly-"

"I heard from someone once that planes crash all the time because it hits a goose."

She sighed, "Stop."

"You stop."

"Can I just talk to Jasper?" She asked.

"Okay." I grumbled, "But every second you talk to him, you risk my life. Are you willing to live with that?"

Shaking her head again, she put the phone to her ear, "She's being difficult."

"Excuse me for not wanting to die in fire because you hit a pelican with Rosalie's car." I looked out the window.

"I'm not going to hit a pelican."

"Look, there's a light pole." I grumbled, "Swerve toward it, or you might miss it. Or the bridge. If you hit it just right, we could go right over."

"Stop it." She whispered at me.

"I don't really know how to swim, but that's okay. I'm sure the river would make a nice, soft landing."

Ignoring that, she went on. Focusing on the phone call now, "What's going on?" I stayed quiet as she obviously listened. After a few moments, she spoke again, "Okay, good. Have you spoken to Carlisle? Was it taken care of?"

Her new tone had me looking over at her.

"Good." She told him again, "I've got her with me, so she's okay. Even if she is being a little ornery."

"What's going on?" I demanded once I could speak.

"I'll keep her out until around six, so let him know he has until then, and I'll call if anything comes up." She paused, listening again before her tone softened, "Just be careful. Let Carlisle handle it. Don't do anything impulsive, Jazz. Don't let them see you."

"Alice?" I barked, but again, she ignored me.

"I will." She spoke to Jasper again, "Don't worry about that." Moments later, she hung up. Focusing hard on the road now.

"What was that?" I asked, "What did he say about my dad?"

"He said the neighborhood pelican got into their garbage again." She replied simply. As funny as that was to imagine, I knew it was a lie, and I also knew she wasn't going to tell me what he really said without a very persuasive argument.

"Please." I muttered, "Tell me." That was a good place to start, wasn't it? Very persuasive.

"Those pelicans are stubborn things."

I crossed my arms again, leaning back in my seat. I was getting irritated. I mean, this was information on _my_ dad that they were keeping from me.

"How am I supposed to not freak out if I don't know what's going on?" That was a decent point.

"Lots and lots of practice." She said, "You'd think you'd have that down by now." That decent point had just been stomped to the ground. I huffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." She murmured, "Look, don't worry. It's already been taken care of." Well, that didn't tell me much. Aside from the fact that this had been going on for quite some time.

"What has?" It was worth a try.

"The pelican."

"Stop it." I whined, "Alice, I need to know this stuff."

"No you don't." She countered, "You don't need to know. You want to know this stuff, just so you can torture yourself later, and probably refuse to sleep again. No. I'm not going to be the one responsible for that, so you might as well stop asking."

Huffing again, I looked out the window once more.

"Whether you want to believe it or not, you are still alive. Sometimes bad things happen. That's just a part of life. Remember when you said that?"

I sighed, "Alice-"

"You told me back in New York that sometimes shit happens, so why turn around and blame anybody? That does include yourself. Understood?" She was clearly adamant about this, and I suddenly felt a little bad. It usually took a lot to make Alice bark orders or be firm with me like this, and I'd seen it at least twice in the last few days. I'd been pushing her pretty far lately.

"Now," She huffed as well, "We're going shopping, and we're going to have a good time if it kills me. Any questions?"

"Just a few." I said, and she glanced over, "First, are you trying to strangle the steering wheel? Because it didn't do anything to you." She noticed her grip was a little tight, so she loosened it.

"Thanks." She told me.

"Second, what _would_ happen if a pelican hit the windshield?" That actually got her to laugh, so I didn't feel as bad about being a pain in the ass.

"It probably wouldn't survive." She answered, "But you would."

"But you wouldn't." She frowned at my addition, "Rosalie would probably pitch a fit because you hit a pelican with her car." She laughed a little again.

"You're probably right there." She replied.

"Third, why don't you have you own car yet?" I asked, "Everyone else has one."

"Not true." She replied, "Jazz doesn't. Esme either."

"I've never seen Jasper drive anywhere." I frowned, "But you need one if you're going to keep dragging me around to places I don't want to go without telling me why."

"Excellent point." She gave me a nod, "And I'm working on that. I'm waiting for Edward to get the hint."

"How hard is it to hint at him?" I asked, "He can read thoughts for crying out loud."

"Any more questions?" She asked, sighing.

"One more."

"What is it?" She was dreading this question. I knew it, but I also knew the question I had in mind wasn't something that she was expecting.

"Will there be cake?"

She frowned a little in confusion, "At the mall?" I nodded, "Why?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, "I just kind of want some. I feel kind of sorry for myself, so I kind of want cake."

That surprised her, "Sure. Yeah, you can have.. Anything you want. Assuming they have some, but if they don't, then we can just stop somewhere else before, or we can stop after. Whatever. I'll get you a whole cake if you want it." No doubt she was eager because of my horrible appetite lately, but she said I could have anything I wanted.

"Anything?" I asked, "Then I want a puppy." Again with the puppy. Something else I'd mentioned back in New York.

She shook her head a little, "That's pushing it. I meant you can have anything to eat." I laughed a little with her this time, though. That was already more than I'd laughed in over a week, even with Emmett's efforts, which she didn't miss.

"Then just one piece would be fine." I muttered.

"Okay then." She smiled, looking forward again.

"If I did get a puppy, I'd name it psycho." I added, "Just so when it grew up, people would be afraid of it."

"But what if it's a girl puppy?" She asked, playing along, "That name wouldn't fit."

"Then it'd have to be a puppy that grew up to be this giant, really mean looking dog, and I'd name it Sprinkles, or Tiny. Something girly like that." I replied, "That way, when I called it, people would take one look at it and wet themselves."

"I see." She laughed.

"I wouldn't want one, though." I sighed eventually, "I heard it's hard to get them to stop peeing on the floor. I doubt they'd sell one already house trained and already trained to kill."

"You'd be surprised." She replied, "But I don't think you'd be ready for that kind of responsibility, to be honest." Well, how the hell would she know that?

"But Zack has a turtle." I argued, "And he's the least responsible person I know."

"I'm aware of that." She nodded, "Thankfully, we're not responsible for his responsibilities."

"Okay, so if I can't have a dog, what about a llama?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Llama?" She frowned.

"Goat?"

"No." She sighed.

"Cat?"

"They have claws, Leandra." She pointed out.

"They do?" I gasped sarcastically.

"Yes." She said, "They do. The first time that beast's claws tore one thread in the furniture, or marked your skin, that thing would be out of there."

I wanted to keep trying. Just to see what she said yes to.

"Bird?" I asked, hopeful.

"You're joking." That was a no.

"Hamster?"

"Sorry."

"A fish?"

"Maybe." She muttered, "We'll look at the mall, okay? See what they have. Whatever they have that is the lowest maintenance possible in a fish, we'll look at."

"That'd probably be like one of those snails or a sucker fish." I grumbled, "I heard they eat their own poop. They just eat their poop, poop it out, and eat it again."

"Moving on." She frowned, "As lovely of a subject as that is."

I bit my lip, looking out the window. I really didn't want to be out here. It was far too open for my taste. I loved staying home. Home was safe. Out here was as unsafe as home was safe. It was only Port Angeles, but it was still a lot bigger than the house.

She spoke up again, "What was that dream about?"

"Nothing." I answered immediately. She should have known by now that that way of questioning would never work. I taught her that back in New York. The questions had to be about something specific. Open-ended questions with multiple answers would never get her an answer.

"Come on, Leandra." She pressed quietly, "It's just us."

"I know that." I mumbled, "I just don't want to talk about it." She sighed, glancing over at me sadly, "There's so much you don't know, and Jasper isn't here to make it easy on me."

"I was hoping you wouldn't always need Jasper."

"I probably always will." I replied, "If I ever have to talk about anything having to do with Jack." I hesitated, "See? Just saying his name makes me want to puke." Which was true.

"Why?"

"Because of everything I remember." I said, "It's.. It's hard just remembering everything myself, but hearing or saying his name makes it harder. I know it's so stupid. I mean, it's just a word. Someone's name." I hated how stupid I felt just admitting that, my tone announcing that.

"Everyone has something they're afraid of." She murmured, and I glanced over, "So you're not alone." That was very hard for me to believe.

"Even you?" I asked, skeptical.

"Of course." She replied, "Me, Jasper. Everyone."

"I bet Emmett doesn't have anything he's afraid of."

"You'd lose that bet." She countered, and I blinked in surprise, "Even Emmett has fears."

"What is yours?" I asked quietly.

"I have many fears," She admitted, "But mainly, I worry about the family. Potentially missing something I can't afford to miss when it comes to their safety. I worry about not being able to protect them."

"Everybody worries about that." I replied, "Yours is normal."

"So is yours." She told me, "It's perfectly normal to fear the name of someone who flat out tortured you for six of your ten years alive."

"I don't think so." I mumbled, "I'm just weird."

"No you're not." She said, "You're not weird." She fell quiet for a moment, "What does hearing his name make you think of?"

"It depends." I sighed, "Mostly, I think of all the times I had to beg him."

"Beg him?" She asked.

"Not to hurt me, to leave me alone, to let me breathe." I shrugged, "Lots of times, it didn't do any good."

She shook her head a little, "And you were prepared to stay with him?"

"Yes." I replied, "To keep what's happening now from happening, but nobody listened to me." I sighed, "My mom never should have left. Her leaving is what changed everything."

Oddly, she let that subject drop right there. We fell quiet after that, and we got there not long later, but it was a chore to force myself out of the car.

When I did, I was distracted. Nearly running into everything as I stuck as close to her side as I could. Letting her steer me wherever she wanted to go. Every other person around me was a potential threat. That scared me.

If I stayed as close to her side as I could, then she'd surely notice if I was plucked off like the weakest antelope in Africa.

Standing outside one store in particular, it was one on the ground floor as we hadn't made our way up to the second level yet, and my gaze was across the open area, at the huge wall of windows across the fountain from me. Some guy stood there, that made me edgy.

Alice was talking about something, but I wasn't paying attention. I didn't answer her, so she noticed my distraction.

He was so far away, but I could just tell that he was facing my direction. Just standing there. He caught my attention, because everybody over there was moving. Not another person standing still. I could just make him out, but nothing about his features. Too far away to be clear, kind of blurry. Like trying to see someone through a fogged window. Just him. Everything else was fine, but I blinked, and he was gone.

"Leandra?" Alice asked from beside me, "What is it?" I shook my head a little and looked over at her.

"Yeah." I mumbled, shaking myself out of it with a deep breath, "What?"

"You okay?" She asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I replied, "Just.. Zoning out, I guess."

She hesitantly let it go, repeating the question about jeans for me. I answered this time, but I kept looking for the guy that had been standing there. Thoughts of what Emmett told me about hallucinating started through my head. Seeing things that weren't really there. Maybe I'd messed up my head more than I thought?

It concerned me. It really did. It was the weirdest thing, and it was difficult to shake off.

"Leandra?" She had to ask for my attention again a little while later. I couldn't help being distracted again. I didn't see him again, but I looked.

"Sorry." I muttered, continuing on my way around the small pet store.

A local pet rescue was having an adoption event today, having many dogs and cats sitting in cages for potential adopters.

Most of the dogs I stopped to look at actually seemed fine with me. Especially the litter of four Pomeranian mix puppies I reached out to pet. They looked like cotton balls with legs and a tail that wouldn't stop wagging, yapping excitedly and jumping up. Who wouldn't cheer up with their hand getting licked and nibbled to death by cotton balls that yipped? For once, I couldn't stop smiling.

Alice was off talking to someone about the pathetic lifespan of fish, and I was looking around on my own. I knew I couldn't take any of these things home, but it helped to finally come across an animal that didn't instantly hate my guts.

I focused on the puppies. Refusing to let my own paranoia squash the moment for me. The puppies made it easy.

"Uh oh." I looked over as the owner of the pet store came over with Alice, "She found the puppies. Girls and puppies are impossible to keep apart." Alice laughed a little, but I went on looking at the yapping cotton balls.

Alice let me keep looking around, so I moved on. Just so I didn't get too attached to the puppies, I made myself move away from them. In some cages off to the right were cats. Almost every cage I passed were cats hissing at me. Cats were definitely not as forgiving as dogs were.

I passed one cage, and the cat inside decided it didn't want me anywhere near it. It probably had something to do with the two meowing kittens in the back of the cage. So it charged forward, reached out through the bars in the cage, and actually scratched me from inside the cage. Barely grazing the skin of my arm with its claws, but caught my shirt instead. Startled, I stayed put, not sure what to do as it growled at me, and held onto the fabric of my sleeve. I didn't exactly want to put my fingers anywhere near those claws.

Alice was suddenly there, having seen my predicament, unhooking the cat's claws from my sleeve, much to its displeasure. Which was displayed by it trying to scratch at her through the cage. It hissed her direction, and almost silently, Alice hissed right back. I barely heard the sound, so I knew nobody else possibly would. Getting the message, the cat moved to the back of the cage, nearly sitting on the kittens. Puffed up, hissing with its ears flat.

"Thanks." I laughed a little, "I guess cats still don't like me."

"Are you okay?" She asked, and I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said, "My shirt, not so much." I turned my sleeve a little to reveal the decent hole there now. Sighing, she steered me away from the cats by my shoulders.

"They only sell feeder fish here." She told me, "So we'll have to look at another pet store some other time. We should probably leave here, though." She and I both looked over at the parrot going apeshit in its cage. Flapping around and squawking. Shedding feathers in its movement. The parakeets in the cage to the right of the parrot doing the same. I couldn't help laughing as she practically pushed me out of the store.

"But the puppies liked me." I muttered as we left.

"Dogs like everyone." She replied.

"What's a feeder fish?"

"Fish that are kept alive only to be fed to another animal."

"Aw." I whined, looking over at her, "That's not very nice." That was a little horrifying, actually.

"Then I'm glad you didn't manage to see the mice."

"Let's wait on lunch." I muttered, and this time, she laughed.

We sat and talked as I rested a little between each store we visited. Probably to pass the time more effectively. I apparently needed new everything, and I didn't mind getting new pajama sets. My old ones were getting pretty uncomfortable, so I agreed on that one.

She and I argued about one particular pajama set, one I'd had for quite some time now that I voted to keep, but she wanted to get rid of it. I wanted to keep it, because it was my favorite set of pajamas. She wanted to get rid of it, because they were getting a little small and had a small hole in one of the pantlegs. The first sign of wear, and she was ready to toss it.

So we came to an agreement. A compromise. She would let me keep those pajamas, if I let her get me two new dresses. Two new dresses, or one dress and one skirt. My choice.

That seemed like a steep compromise, but I really liked those pajamas.

A skirt seemed less offensive somehow than a dress, so I chose that one. It was denim, and came to just above my knee. The dress, though, had to be a specific one. It couldn't just be any random dress. Alice picked one out for me, and naturally, I left no question about whether or not I hated it.

We eventually did go searching for cake in the food court, and to my appreciation, they had it. Down at the very end was a little place that had so many choices available. I had to eat something first, though, just so I didn't make myself sick. I agreed to that.

After eating, we sat outside the food court, and puzzled, I watched her sort one of the shopping bags. Tossing some new things into one certain bag, and everything else into another. I didn't ask, choosing to look around instead.

I'd looked for that guy the entire time we were there, but I never saw him or even anyone that looked like him. I wasn't too surprised, but I was pretty relieved that I hadn't seen him by the time we left.

After enough time, I even started to doubt what I'd seen. It had probably been a reflection of someone else on the window. Or something like that. Maybe the cloudy daylight playing tricks on my eyes.

"Okay, what's going on in there?" Alice finally asked the second we were in the car, "You've had that look in your eyes since we got here."

"What look?"

"That I'm-not-listening look."

"You won't tell me, so why should I tell you?" I asked in reply, looking over at her. She gave me a look, "Well.. Okay. Just one question. Did you smell anything off in there?"

"That pet store seemed a little iffy." She admitted.

"That's not what I meant." I replied, "I just.. I thought I saw someone, but.. I don't think they were really there, because well.. They were there one second, but gone before the next second." She understood what I was getting at this time, given her understanding nod.

"I didn't see anyone." She told me, "And trust me. I was looking." She gave me a smile, though. One I could trust, "It's your first time out in a busy place like that in weeks, Leandra. Not to mention what you put your mind through a few days ago. That takes time to recover from." I nodded a little.

"That's what I thought too." I sighed, "Just my eyes playing tricks. Maybe because of the headache I have."

"Exactly." She replied.

"I wasn't too worried about it." I wanted to point that out, "Just confused."

"You're okay." She assured me, starting the car, "If anyone like that had been around, I'd have known." I nodded again. Leaning back in the seat with a sigh.

Half way home, she called ahead. Just to let them know we were almost home, so they could continue hiding whatever they'd been hiding from me, no doubt. That really irritated me. I frowned, though, when she never headed home. Instead, she pulled up outside of Heather's house.

She sighed, looking over at me and obviously dreading whatever this was.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my tone suspicious. I hated that hesitant look in her eyes, "Why are we here?"

"Now, don't get mad." She started, "But I'm just following instructions here-"

"You're dropping me off here?" Had I known this was the plan, I never would have left the house.

"Just for the night." She said quickly, "See, there's-"

"Are you kidding me right now?" I snapped, "You can't leave me. I can't be without you guys. You know that."

"You'll be perfectly fine here." She assured me, "I know you trust Heather."

"It doesn't matter if I trust her!"

"This hunting trip is a very needed thing." She explained, "For all of us. It's been too long, and taking turns just isn't an option right now."

"B-But.. But.."

"Look, you'll go in there, watch a couple of movies, and go to bed. That's it, and one of us will be here to pick you up first thing in the morning."

"I can't be without you." I whined. It was true. I hadn't spent the night away from them since I'd officially become their problem. I was always within their reach. Everyone always coming over to my house.

"I can't." I added, shaking my head, "It's not fair."

"I'm sorry, Leandra." She said, "But I know you'll have a good time. Now come on." I fought the tears as she climbed from the car.

"Take me home." I whimpered.

"There will be nobody to watch you there." She sighed, "Come on."

"Then I'll stay there by myself."

"That would be even worse on you." She said, "Come on."

"Stop saying 'come on'!" I whined, "You can't leave me here. What'd I do to you?"

"This isn't a punishment, Leandra." She shook her head, "I swear you'll be fine." Easy for her to say. She wasn't the one getting abandoned. She wasn't the one getting dropped somewhere and left all alone to fend for herself.

"I can't stay here." I argued, "Leaving me with the sister of the psycho that's trying to get me? What's wrong with you?"

"You know she'd never let anything happen to you." She said, "When we can't be there, I trust her to make the right call. She's the only one I trust to keep you safe, and everyone else feels the same way. She knows the situation, and Carlisle's already arranged it. Now let's go."

I looked over as the front door opened, Heather having noticed our arrival. Stupidly, I actually did start to cry. Alice sighed as Heather came closer.

"It's her first night away from home." She explained, "I kind of sprung this on her. She's a little freaked out."

"That's understandable." Heather replied, opening my door for me. She looked in at me, "Come on out, sweetie. I promise it won't be that bad."

"But what if it is?"

"I won't let it be." She laughed a little, "You'll be sleeping in the room with the boys, if you're worried about being alone. Zack's more than excited to sleep on the floor, so you can borrow his bed."

"Really?" I frowned.

"He's already got his blanket fort built." She told me, and oddly, I smiled a little. That sounded like him. She looked to Alice, "And I'm pretty confident there's nothing to worry about with her spending the night with them."

"Oh, I trust them." Alice replied easily, "I'm not worried in the slightest. They've always taken care of her." Which was true. She did have a point there.

Heather nodded a little and looked to me, "Now, we can either spend the night out here, or you can come inside with me, but I'm pretty sure my cookies are burning."

With a heavy sigh, and a few more seconds of hesitation, I finally climbed out of the car myself. Well, I reasoned. I didn't want her cookies to burn.

"First thing tomorrow, Leandra." Alice told me, "As soon as we can." From the back seat, she handed me one of the shopping bags we'd picked up that day, and one peek told me these were extra clothes I'd need. The bag she'd sorted at the mall.

She gave me a hug when I didn't reply, and I gave her a look that had to have told her how betrayed I felt.

"You'll be fine." She murmured firmly, "Don't worry so much."

I kind of had little choice but to let Heather turn me, leading me toward her house. Giving Alice one more look of betrayal before we stepped inside. I hadn't been prepared for this in the slightest. It was so unexpected.

I'd been here before. Many times, but never expected to just be okay on my own for the entire night. I didn't know anymore what it was like to sleep without someone constantly awake.

I stepped inside with her, looking back once more as Alice drove away.

"Leandra." Zack was suddenly there, laughing at my yelp, "Come upstairs." He took my hand, and tugged me up the stairs. He was thrilled. To him, it wasn't the end of the world. To him, it was just another night, but way more exciting because I was there.

"Be nice to her." Heather called after us, "And don't stay up there too long. Dad gets home in thirty minutes."

"Okay." Zack called back.

I followed him into his room, Josh lounging on his own bed, reading a book. He looked up as we arrived, smiling a little.

"Just set your stuff anywhere." Zack told me, stepping around the giant blanket castle in the corner between the end of his bed and the dresser. I eyed it, impressed.

"How'd you get it to stay up like that?" I asked, setting my bag beside Zack's bed.

"Two brooms, a mop, and about a pound of duct tape." Josh answered, sitting up and setting his book to the side, "I'm going to laugh when it falls in on him in the middle of the night."

"You're just jealous." Zack replied to him, ducking into the fort through the 'doorway'.

"I could make my own, you know." Josh muttered, "And it'd be ten times as cool as that one."

"Do it then." Zack countered, "Let's see."

"I don't want to." He replied, "It's childish."

Shaking my head, I crossed the room. Carefully peeking into Jerk's cage. He hadn't seen me yet, so he kept right on wiggling around in his pool of water in the corner of his cage. A few seconds later, though, he stopped moving. Slowly, tensely looking around.

Without even looking at me, he pulled himself back into his shell, so Zack's theory about my smell must have been right. Especially considering what happened at the pet store earlier.

"You can pick him up, if you want." Zack said, coming to my side, "Maybe he just needs to get used to you."

"Wouldn't that bug him?" I asked, looking over at him.

"Nah." He said, leaning over and unclasping the latch on the top of the cage, "As long as you don't toss him around like a baseball or Frisbee, he'll be fine." He lifted the heat lamp out of the way, and pulled open the lid. Reaching in, he picked up the motionless shell and held him out to me. I held my hands open, and Zack set the moist turtle in them.

"And don't drop him." Zack said, "He really hates that." I laughed a little, to my own surprise. He smiled, "I know from experience."

"Josh." Heather called from the stairs, "Come help me."

With a heavy sigh, Josh stood up and left the room.

"Might be easier if you sit." Zack suggested, ignoring his brother's irritated departure. I took his advice, and he followed. Sitting beside me on his bed. I rested my hands, still holding the turtle, in my lap.

"Do they shed their shell?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No." He replied, "It just grows with them. See these lines here?" He pointed to the back of the turtle, along his shell, "He grows a new square as he grows."

"Wow." I muttered, looking closer, "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah." He laughed, "I didn't know before that their shell is actually a part of them. It's attached to them. It's actually made out of the same stuff our fingernails are made out of. Try petting him, just along his back there. He likes it when I do that, so maybe he'll warm up to you."

"He can feel it?"

"Can you feel it when someone touches your fingernails?" I nodded, "He can feel it too."

I actually wanted this ugly little thing to like me. Maybe to prove something to myself, so I took my hand and lightly stroked the shell. After a minute or two of constant stroking, I felt him move. Peeking his head out for the first time while I held him.

"Now try petting his head, but don't move too fast."

"How?"

"Like this." He said, reaching over me. He ran his finger really lightly over the top of the turtle's head, and I could just tell that Jerk appreciated that. Stretching his head out even further, his eyes squinting. I slowly brought my hand up, and though Jerk tensed quite a bit, he didn't duck back yet. I took the opportunity to pet his head with my finger, really lightly like Zack had done, and got the same reaction.

"His skin feels weird." I laughed a little, Zack joining in.

"There you go." Zack smiled at me, "See? Told you he didn't hate you. He just never got a chance to get to know you." I stopped petting him, moving my hand away.

He frowned a little, "You're shaking." He'd noticed? "You okay?"

"Just.." I muttered, "A little nervous."

"Well, don't worry." He said, "Jerk doesn't bite or anything. Well, I mean, he could if you pissed him off enough, but I don't think he would. He's a nice guy."

Thankfully, he'd misinterpreted my nervousness. I didn't have to explain that I was nervous about staying here all night.

Having had lunch at the mall, I wasn't exactly hungry, but I had a piece of the pizza Heather had ordered. Knowing the boys would inhale the first whole pizza by themselves, she got two.

I never got over how weird it was to have someone actually eat with me. I was always so used to being the only one eating.

When dinner was done, and I was still alive, I started to attempt to calm down. Apparently, Mike had picked out some movies for us to watch, so Alice wasn't wrong.

We all sat in the living room for awhile after dinner, watching some made-for-TV movie, but I wasn't really watching that. My eyes were to the right, on the table beside the small entertainment center. Various pictures sat in frames. Most of them being of the boys, one or two of those including me in it.

But another caught my eye. It was a rather old picture.

"Josh," Heather called from the kitchen, "Can you and your brother come in here for a minute?" They both sighed, standing up.

"Mike?" I spoke up quietly, and he looked over, "Who is that?" I nodded toward the photo sitting in the frame on the end, "That lady?"

He chuckled a little, "That would be Susan. I've never had the privilege of meeting her in person. Maybe someday, but I seriously doubt it."

"Who is she?"

"Heather's mother." He replied, "The boys' grandmother." That surprised me. Looking back over, I looked over the picture again. He noticed, "You've never met her either, have you?"

"I haven't." I answered, "I didn't even know Jack had a mom. She's still alive?"

"I'm assuming." He said, "The most we hear from her is for the boys' birthdays and a card for each of them on Christmas. An envelope addressed to Heather once a year with a rather.. Large amount of cash in it for their college fund, but that's it."

"Wow." I muttered, standing up. I wanted a closer look at the picture. She was a pretty woman. I couldn't deny that, but I could easily tell that this picture was an old one. The rose colored photo of quite awhile ago, of a woman smiling toward the camera. He stood up as well with a sigh, coming to my side. Knowing I was hesitant to pick up the frame, he picked it up, holding it for me to look at it.

"The most I know about her, is she divorced Ken back before Josh was even born." He explained, "Heather refuses to talk about her, so I'd avoid asking her about it. I think she'd just rather pretend she is dead."

"Why does she hate her so much?"

"She's never said." He replied, "Big mystery, that woman." I recalled the fact that Mike actually had no idea what her life used to be like. He had no idea what she'd run away from.

"I can't blame her." I admitted, "I hate my mom too."

"You?" Mike asked, surprised, "Little you? You can't hate anybody."

"But I do." I replied.

"Why?"

"She spent most of my life ignoring me." I answered quietly, "She'd rather have been drunk than know I was around."

"Really?" He asked, surprised yet again.

I nodded a little, "So I hate her."

"Well, it's her loss, darling." He told me, "Don't spend your life hating someone like that. It just brings you down."

"I can't help it sometimes." I sighed, turning away from the picture, "When she left, I just hated her more."

"I heard about her leaving." He nodded, setting the picture back down, "Thankfully, you still had Jack."

"Oh, goodie." I grumbled, sitting back down.

"I know he left too, but there for awhile-"

"I hate him too." I muttered, glancing over at him, "I left first because I hate him. I got tired of it."

"Why?" He asked again, sitting back down beside me, "Got tired of what?" Thankfully, the boys both returned before I had to answer that. Josh landed in the open spot on the couch to my left, handing me a bowl. Ice cream in it.

"Thanks." I told him, and it wasn't just for the ice cream.

"No problem." He said, and I watched as Zack found his previous spot on the floor. Seated on a cushion on the floor, leaning back against the love seat.

I took small bites at first, as I was hesitant in forcing more junk into my stomach given my iffy appetite lately, but I gained more confidence the more I was able to eat without wanting to throw up. It hadn't been a huge amount that Heather had given me to begin with. Just a little bit, and I appreciated that.

Mike didn't ask, but I knew what I'd said had concerned him. I was pretty positive that he was just as clueless about what happened in California as the boys were. Heather was still the only one who knew what had happened between Ken and I. She was still the only one who knew what Jack was like.

I found myself in the kitchen a little later, helping Heather with washing the dishes. She learned by now that I actually preferred to help out. That I wasn't just offering to be nice, but as a break of my own. I didn't mind her company, and she didn't seem to mind mine. She was really one of the only human adults I got along with. One of the only human adults I really knew.

"I'm glad to see you've gotten some sort of appetite back." She pointed out, and I glanced up at her.

"It wasn't easy." I admitted, picking up a new bowl to dry.

"I heard." She replied with a sigh, "Carlisle mentioned it was pretty intense there for a little while."

"He told you?" I asked, surprised.

"Just the basics." She assured me, "Things I might need to know in case it gets iffy during the night." I nodded a little, "I've been there too, so if you need anyone to talk to, just let me know." I nodded again, placing the last bowl on the stack.

"I know it's tough." She sighed, pulling the plug from the sink and letting the water start draining, "Just try not to hold it against them. They care so much about you."

"What was my mom like?" I asked, looking up at her. That seemed to surprise her.

"Well." She started, turning to lean back against the edge of the sink, "I did spend some time with her before Jack cut that off. The thing you have to consider, is that she was young back then.

"She was facing a rough time, and I think the prospect of landing up on her own scared her more than anything. Something else you need to consider, is the fact that when a mama has a baby depending on her, it changes things. In her case, it made her desperate and soft. Easily manipulated, and easily nudged in the direction Jack wanted her to go."

"What I don't get," I said, turning and leaning back as well, "Is what the heck happened with my dad? Why did she just trade him in like that?"

"Oh, honey." She sighed, "It's complicated."

"I think I can keep up." I pressed, "Please tell me."

She hesitated just a moment, before she looked down.

"From what I understand," She started, "Things.. Just went wrong. As I said before, when a mama has a baby depending on her, it changes things. It changes how she sees things, and it changes her.. Reactions to things. The same goes for a daddy. Sometimes that change can change everything. When a child is added into the mix, it really tests the bond between two people."

"So I'm the reason she kicked him out?"

"Not at all." She replied immediately, "No, Leandra. They both loved you very much. It was the love they had for each other that was the issue." I frowned.

"I don't get it."

"I don't expect you to, sweetie." She murmured.

"If they loved each other, why did she marry Jack?"

"Chris.." She hesitated, obviously searching for the right way to say it. After several seconds, she sighed, "Well, he did something stupid."

"What did he do?" I asked quietly.

"I don't want you going on to hate him if I tell you this." She said, "That was a very long time ago, and we've all done things in our past that we're not proud of. He was a very different person back then. People change, they learn from their mistakes."

"What did he do?" I asked again.

"He gave up." She explained quietly, "Not on you, so please don't think that, but he gave up trying to fix what little marriage there wasn't. He'd begun to give up long before your mama did." I blinked in surprise, "Your mama tried. She wanted so bad to keep things the way they were, but he, being as hard-headed and stubborn as he was, refused to see that. It wasn't until she was positive it was well on its way down the drain did she start seeing Jack with more of an open mind.

"And Jack, being the sly son-of-a-bitch that he is, please pardon my language, saw an opportunity there. He saw the frailty of that marriage, and took a very close interest in her. And in you."

I didn't know what to say.

"Baby, she tried hard to fix what Chris had already given up on." She said, "But it just doesn't work when only one is willing to put in the effort of both. She couldn't keep dragging him along, no matter how badly she wanted to." She sighed once more, "And Chris, seeing what their constant arguing and fighting was doing to you, decided that enough was enough before your mama did."

"So it was him." I muttered, surprised.

"He didn't want you growing up around all that, baby." She replied, "He wanted better for you, but when he found out Jack was living there, that turned everything all around. Jack knew exactly what he was doing the moment he stepped between them. He knew exactly how vulnerable your mama was, and he told her exactly what she needed to hear."

"And the drinking?"

"I have no doubt in my mind that was all Jack's doing." She said, "Of course, he couldn't do all that right away. He had to keep up the charm just long enough to completely overpower her. Once it was too late to do anything, she had very few options anymore."

The silence was loud to me. I was stunned as I stared down at my hands clasped at my stomach. The way she was explaining all this made an incredible amount of sense.

"She loved you, Leandra." She told me after enough silence, "I saw it with my own eyes. That's one of the reasons it bothered me so badly to see Jack anywhere near either of you, but.. By the time I had a chance to warn her, she was so wrapped up in the promises he was feeding her, she just wasn't having it.

"She was so sure it was a good idea, that you'd be taken care of, she refused to listen. All she wanted was your happiness, and she was sure she'd found that in Jack. He played the part, and in the end, it came back to bite her in the behind.

"After enough time without seeing her, I expected that her life would be ruined, but I had no idea what happened with you. To be honest, Jack never struck me as the type of person to attach so vehemently to a child, but I was wrong. I fully expected him to get rid of you somehow, maybe just giving you to Chris to raise, and just stayed with Gina. When I found out he'd kept you all that time, well.."

"I know." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down. I finally felt like I was all caught up. I looked up at her after a moment, "You recognized me in California."

"I couldn't believe who I was looking at." She replied, "The last time I'd seen you, you were barely out of diapers, and still fighting with them. Just this little bitty thing. You'd grown so much, it was hard to wrap my mind around it."

"I thought you hated me."

"Not at all." She instantly shook her head, "It was just a big surprise. I knew he didn't bring you there for a friendly visit with our father. I knew he was up to something. I apologize if I came off as a little firm. I just didn't even want to consider what Jack's reasons could be."

"They weren't good." I muttered, and she shook her head.

"They weren't." She agreed with a sigh. We fell quiet for a moment, until I spoke again.

"Can I ask you something else?" I asked and she looked to me, "Can I ask about your mom?"

She immediately looked down. The expression in her eyes made me immediately regret asking about it.

"I-I just.. I saw the picture, and I guess I was curious." I explained quietly. The silence made me edgy, like I could tell what she was feeling. I'd been there before, so I kind of did.

"Leandra," She spoke, her voice tight with emotion, "There are just.. There are some things that no matter how hard you try, you can never explain them. My mother is one of those things that doesn't deserve the effort it takes to try to explain. There are things out there that are impossible to understand, even to those that see these things with their own eyes. My mother is one of those things."

I stayed quiet, as I had a feeling she wasn't done. Sure enough, she wasn't.

"As horrible as your mother was to you, I would have given absolutely anything in the world, Leandra, to have had the mother you had. My mother was.. And probably still is.. Not fit for the title, and that's an incredibly huge understatement.

"She and my father hated each other. With a fiery passion I've never seen anywhere else, they hated each other. My father treated her about as horribly as he treated us, and she treated him the same. I grew up around absolutely nothing but hate, and that was a very.. Difficult time in my life.

"Both Jack and I, well.. We were an accident. Something she never wanted, and not only did she prove that every day with her actions and the way she treated us, she told us that every chance she got. On a daily basis. I honestly would have given anything to have something to blame her indifference on, like drinking, but there was nothing. It was all her own."

She paused, and I stayed quiet. Not wanting to interrupt her thoughts. The way she spoke about her mother surprised me. It made my own mom seem like the best person in the world. I couldn't imagine what that must have been like for them, and that really made me admire her even more.

"She held on just long enough to see me run." She murmured, "She divorced my father about a year after I left home, and she moved away. Never to be seen again by either Jack or me, and that's just fine with me. She is something I won't stand to be in my life. I hate that woman more than anything I've ever hated in my life, and that includes my father."

Wow.

"I do my best to avoid thinking about her at all costs." She sighed, "I like to consider myself a good person, and believe me, it took time to get myself there, but.. There are limits for even the nicest of people. She, that.. That woman is my limit."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled after a moment of silence.

"No." She said, "You're only curious, and you have every right to be."

"I do?"

"You were a part of this family for a number of years, sweetie." She reminded me, "I can't tell you how sorry I am for that." I couldn't help the small laugh at her tone. She obviously wanted to cheer me up a little, "You were a part of something much bigger without even knowing it. Now that you know, you're curious, and that's fine. It's just.. Some people are better off not mentioning."

"Or dead in a ditch somewhere."

She smiled this time, "Are you sure I didn't raise you?" I laughed again.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't turn out like everyone else." I told her honestly.

"You and me both, kid." She sighed, "Believe me. I love my kids more than anything else in the world, and if anyone ever tried to hurt them, I'd go full mama-bear on that unfortunate individual." I smiled, "Nothing will ever change that. That's the difference between her and I."

"I know." I replied, "I could tell from the beginning."

"But whether you like it or not, that includes you, darling."

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course." She said, "I saw enough of you to consider you one of my own. I hope that doesn't bother you?"

"Why would that bother me?" I laughed a little, "I think I was only scared that day in California because before then, I'd never heard anyone but Jack talk like that."

She winced a little, "I can't apologize enough for that. If I had known you'd overhear-"

"It's okay." I told her, "I completely get it now."

"I still remember what it was like being nine years old around him." She explained, sighing as she sat down at the table. I followed suit, taking the seat across from her. She spoke again, "That's why I wasn't so surprised to see you run. I was more worried than surprised."

"I know." I looked down briefly, "But I couldn't just wait around to explain. I knew if I did, I would never get away."

"You don't know how much I admire you, Leandra." She told me, "Even if it doesn't seem like it now, you were so brave that day."

"Thanks." I mumbled, "Even if it's gotten me into more trouble." She understood what I meant.

"I'm keeping an eye out." She assured me, "If either of them come back into town, you know they won't be able to resist letting me know that." I nodded a little, "And believe me. You're completely safe here, sweetie. I know the idea of spending the night away from home worries you, and that's normal for any kid new to it, but especially for you. I just want you to know that nobody's getting anywhere near you while you're here."

I deeply appreciated that.

"And I won't be the only one protecting you." She nodded a little as well, "Would you want to face Mike with less than good intentions?"

"No." I laughed a little, understanding what she was getting at, "I saw him get mad back in New York. About Sammy."

"Oh, that was irritation." She replied, "It's pretty tough to anger him, but I know he'd do anything for those boys in there, and you now as well."

"Why me?"

"You don't even realize the effect you have on people." She laughed, "You bring out the protective instinct in people without even trying."

"I don't mean to." I admitted.

"That's exactly why it happens." She said, "Anyone who knows anything about your past wants to be the one to step up for you."

"But Mike doesn't know."

"He doesn't have to know everything." She pointed out, "I do, and that tells him not to take it lightly. Trust me when I say that I don't take that protective instinct lightly." I nodded again, sighing, "You have nothing to worry about while you're here. I promise."

That talk with her really helped. It made me feel a lot better about being there. Alice knew what she was talking about when it came to trusting them with my safety. I reserved my judgement, however, until I knew how the rest of the night went.

My natural tension about any guy that wasn't a part of my family made me nervous. I'd never exactly spent the night anywhere near Mike. Aside from California. There was just something about having to sleep around someone I didn't know that well that tested that hesitant trust. Until I saw for myself that he was okay, I'd always be a little bit nervous around him.

Bedtime, to my surprise, wasn't far off. The boys were pretty tired, and so was I. I couldn't help being relieved when they didn't stay up much passed ten.

Just as Heather said, Zack seemed more than eager to sleep in his little fort on the floor. Relinquishing his bed for me to use without any complaint. My bed in New York was big enough to fit all three of us in it, but the boys' beds weren't big enough to be comfortable for more than one person, even with how compact I was.

Heather tucked the boys in, despite Josh's ignored complaints, and even made a stop at me.

"If you need anything at all," She said, "Our room is just up the hall. Two doors up from this one. Feel free to come find me."

"Thanks." I said quietly, "But I wouldn't want to wake you up." Or Mike. Waking anybody up in the middle of the night always made me nervous, thanks to Jack. Why would I want to bring that on myself?

"I always sleep with one eye open." She laughed a little, "It's a mom thing."

"Aw, mom." Zack muttered from in his tent, "She'll be fine."

"Regardless." She told me, "You know where we are." I nodded a little, and after a brief kiss to the top of my head, she left the room. Closing the door behind herself.

We laid there for quite some time, and I found that the nighttime light above the turtle's cage was enough to illuminate the room to my taste.

I found myself hating Alice less than I did when I first got here. They'd obviously put a lot of thought into leaving me here, and they obviously trusted both Mike and Heather enough with my safety to take the night to hunt. Something they hadn't done together since I called Carlisle from California.

It was a little tough to fall asleep. That fearful part of my mind keeping me stuck in a light snooze. Would I hear it if someone were to come in here when they shouldn't be? If I was asleep, would I wake up if I had to?

I was nervous. Afraid to fall asleep around anyone of potential threat. I knew I just needed to get passed that by falling asleep to know I wasn't in any danger here, because if I could sleep without anything happening, then I knew for sure I was okay.

Unfortunately, that probably wouldn't happen for quite some time. I should have realized that it wasn't that simple. Not only was I too nervous, but I was very homesick. It felt too strange laying in someone else's bed.

So I got up, making my way quietly from the room and into the bathroom across the hall. In the middle of the night, I doubted anyone would notice I was in here. The whole house was dark, so I knew Heather and Mike had gone to bed already. It was passed one in the morning by then, so I wasn't too surprised.

I took my time in there, but eventually, the shower curtain wasn't as fascinating to look at anymore, so I had to leave. Instead of returning to the boys' room, though, I carefully made my way downstairs in the dark. I didn't want to risk waking anybody up by turning on a light so I mostly felt my way down each stair with my toes. Rounding for the kitchen where there was some light, provided by the light above the stove.

I retrieved a glass and filled it with some water before sitting at the table. I knew I'd have to go back upstairs eventually, but for right then, I just wanted to sit there.

I hadn't been sitting there long, though, before I was joined.

"Leandra?" I jumped a little at Mike's voice coming from the doorway. I hadn't heard him follow me in here, "Is something wrong?"

"Can't sleep." I mumbled, and he smiled a little.

"Well, you shouldn't have to sit here all alone." He replied, "Mind if I sit here with you?"

"I don't mind." I shook my head a little, "Sorry I woke you up."

"Nah." He waved it off, sitting in the seat across the table from me, "You didn't. I was already awake. So tell me. Why no sleep?"

"New place, I think." I sighed, "Or new bed."

"I see." He nodded, "Yeah, I'm the same way, but you know what this calls for?"

"What?" I asked almost hesitant.

"Hot chocolate, and cookies." He replied, standing up, "You want some?"

"Sure." I said, relieved. I felt so stupid for feeling relieved. This was Mike, not Jack. Mike would never suggest anything wrong like Jack would.

"I hope you don't mind a ton of marshmallows, because I always make mine with a ton of marshmallows." He said and I laughed a little, shaking my head, "And you haven't lived until you've tried my hot chocolate." He got started on making it while I sat there. It was quiet for a minute or two, until he spoke again.

"I used to make this for the boys all the time." He said, looking back at me from the stove, "When they were younger. Not so much recently, as they almost never get up in the middle of the night anymore, but that was our time. I used to love being kicked out of bed to take care of them."

I laughed again, picturing that.

"So really," He added, "You're doing me a favor here."

"I'm glad." I replied, "You seem like you're pretty good at this dad thing."

"Oh, I'm the best." He laughed, looking back at me, "You kidding? I should have like.. A hundred medals lining the walls." I smiled, "And the thing they don't tell you when you sign up for this whole daddy thing, is how much you miss it when they get old enough to not need you anymore. It's not just the mamas that have a hard time with that, you know."

"They'll always need you." I told him, "You're their dad. Do you know how important that is?" He smiled in response, looking back down at what he was doing.

"I wouldn't mind it, though." He spoke again, "Doing the whole baby thing again. At least one more time before I'm too old to chase them around."

"Might wanna talk to Heather about that, then." I said, and he gave a real chuckle, "I don't think she'd like it if you just randomly brought some baby home from the baby store."

"No?" He asked, "Well, dang. I guess the one I have on lay-away is a bad idea?"

"A little." I laughed again. I had to admit, he was pretty funny. I spoke again, "But I know where babies come from."

He glanced back, surprised, "You do?"

"I went to school." I pointed out, "Just in time for that, I guess."

"Ah." He said, "Right. The whole.. Sending home permission slips just to separate the boys and the girls so they can watch a movie that the school had no intention of explaining thoroughly."

"That one." I nodded, "But-"

"I mean, why bother showing them the stupid movie, if they're not going to explain it?"

"Maybe that's the dad's job." He allowed that with a small shrug, "And I don't have any questions."

"I imagine." He nodded, "You've got the perfect person to ask."

"No." I muttered, "I didn't have to ask. I already knew how everything works. It's the boy's sticky stuff that makes the baby, right?" He stayed quiet, stirring the milk on the stove.

After a moment, he cleared his throat a little, "Your classmates are a little too descriptive, aren't they?"

"They didn't tell me, either." I said, "It was just something I learned before."

"Yeah?" He asked, "And how'd you learn that?" He was quieter now, and I couldn't figure out why.

"I've always known it." I shrugged a little, which was true. I'd known that for quite a few years already. I knew that before I even knew anything about myself, and learning what little they taught us in school about girls just solved a little bit of the mystery.

"I've always known it, since before that stupid movie." I mumbled, "I'm a fast learner."

"Too fast, I'd say." He said, "Who taught you that?" I picked up on his discomfort in his tone.

"Is it bad that I know that?" I asked hesitantly, though I had a feeling it was. I sat there for a moment as he obviously had to think about how to respond, cursing myself for saying something stupid.

"No," He replied hesitantly, "It's not bad that you know that, but it is concerning that you've known that for awhile. It's more concerning how you know that, because someone would have had to have taught you that. How long have you known?"

"I've always known it." I repeated, "I guess I learned it when I was little."

"But who taught you?" He asked again. I wasn't sure I appreciated the pressure.

"I dunno." I mumbled, fidgeting nervously, despite knowing exactly who it was. I didn't exactly understand what the big deal was. I just didn't want him to be mad at me. He must have known I was getting a little intimidated, because his tone lightened significantly as he spoke again.

"Did your mom teach you that?" He only sounded mildly interested now. A light question that made it easier to answer.

"No." I replied, "The only thing she taught me was how to drink beer all day until I pass out. I mean, I've never done it, but I know how to. I've seen her do it enough times."

"I'm still appalled by that, by the way." He muttered.

"That never goes away." I sighed, "Trust me."

"What about Jack?" He asked, and I fell quiet for a few seconds, "Did he teach you?" Hating the way my heart reacted to his name, I took a breath. That breath shook quietly, and I know he heard it as he paused for a moment.

"No." I said, but that was the only sort of explanation I offered. He looked back at me, seeming to study me a bit. He eventually frowned and shook his head a little.

"What-"

"Mike?" Heather had come downstairs, saving me right at the last possible second. I sighed, relieved as she approached, "What are you two doing?"

"We're just making some hot chocolate." Mike answered, giving her a smile, "Well, I'm making. She's keeping me company. Would you like some? There's plenty."

"Sure." She agreed, "Thank you." He smiled, returning to his stirring. She smiled at me, finding the seat next to me, "Can't sleep?" I shook my head, "I'm sorry, honey."

"I didn't mean to wake anybody up." I muttered.

"You didn't." Heather replied, "I just wondered where he'd run off to. I should have known it was only to make hot chocolate at almost two in the morning when he should be sleeping." I laughed a little at his innocent grin her way.

I couldn't believe how close I'd just come to ruining everything. I needed to be careful. My family had been trying so hard to make it easier for me to talk about things, but I had to be careful who I talked to.

The conversation was lighter from there. I listened to their light bickering, knowing neither one felt the need to actually argue. Statements and responses tossed back and forth across the table like a verbal game of catch. It entertained me to watch.

About the fifth yawn in a row, though, Heather really started insisting that I get my butt back to bed. Even willing to walk me back upstairs herself. I felt bad, but I probably would have felt even worse had I refused. I thanked Mike for the hot chocolate, and he thanked me for the company. Thankfully, not bringing up the conversation we'd been having again.

It was different with Heather, but she reminded me a lot of Esme. Natural at what she does. How easy it came to her to just care about someone. The feeling of comfort she gave without even trying. She was what I'd always imagined a mom would be like.

It made me wonder. It really did. How could Heather turn out so different than the rest of her family? With all she had to look up to were parents like hers, and Jack, how the hell did she learn how to step away from all that? How did she get off that path laid for her?

If I could just figure out how she did that, maybe I could too. I knew full well that my years spent with Jack had left their mark on me, and if I didn't figure out how to follow in Heather's footsteps, instead of Jack's, I'd probably turn out just like him. That scared me.

She tucked me in again as quietly as she could, since the boys were still out cold, smiling a little.

"Do you feel better?" She'd known what I was doing by talking to Mike. I nodded a little, "Good. I'm glad. Now get some sleep, sweetie. Sweet dreams."

I nodded again and she stood up. Turning for the door. I watched her leave, closing the door quietly behind her before I rolled over. Facing the wall, I actually found I didn't mind that very much. Somehow, facing the wall made it easier for me to relax, as it didn't feel as open to me. More secure. I liked it that way, and I made a mental note to have my room switched around when I got home.

I woke up hours later from the weirdest dream ever. It wasn't a scary one, or a memory dream, but weird. Things I'd experienced yesterday all mashed together to make a movie that made absolutely no sense. I knew that was what dreams were supposed to be, and I wasn't complaining, but it was so strange to me.

I blamed it on the hot chocolate and the wall I faced.

I rolled over to find both Zack and Josh both already out of bed. I was the last one of us awake for once. Still waking up, I decided to go find Zack and Josh. I needed water, too. I followed the sound of their voices coming from downstairs, finding them in the kitchen. To my surprise, Alice stood there, talking to Heather who stood probably making breakfast. Mike, Zack and Josh all sat at the table I'd been seated at just the night before.

Zack noticed me first, and it eased me to see him still in his pajamas too, since I was in the same attire.

"Hey." He greeted me, getting Josh's attention, "Sleep good?"

"Your bed is kind of comfortable." I admitted, sitting between the boys.

"Isn't it?" He laughed a little, "I told you you'd like it." Alice smiled at me, which I had to return a little, "If you want to, you can stay again tonight. I wouldn't mind." I smiled a little, and Heather laughed.

"Already trying to steal her?" She asked Zack, "Sorry, kiddo. You've got school tomorrow."

"Aw." Zack sighed. I sighed as well. I didn't know if Alice was in a hurry or not, so I figured I needed to get moving.

"I should get dressed." I mumbled.

"I can wait." Alice assured me, "No rush." There was the answer to that. Why did that relieve me? I kind of didn't just want to leave the second I woke up. The deeper golden color to her eyes told me the night before went smoothly.

"So where'd you go last night?" Josh asked, and I looked over at him, "You got up, and I didn't hear you come back."

"I couldn't sleep." I replied, glancing to Mike across the table as he glanced to me from where he sipped his coffee, "So I came down here."

"New place." Josh nodded, "But hey, at least you didn't cry."

"Not that I know of." I laughed a little.

"I'm glad we didn't make you cry." Josh laughed as well, "You should come back over next weekend, too."

"We'll see what's going on next weekend." Heather laughed.

We wound up staying about an hour after breakfast, as I had to take my time upstairs. I wanted to hold Jerk again, but I didn't want to do that without Zack around. Just in case the turtle bit me, and wouldn't let go. Just so I didn't have to carry the turtle downstairs, swinging him around like a very painful piece of jewelry.

Fortunately, he didn't bite me. Keeping his beak-ish like mouth to himself, he seemed more comfortable with me than he was the night before. Especially since I held the little piece of fish up for him to eat. His favorite. Zack went on about this and that, while Josh watched from his bed. He'd been oddly quiet the entire time I was here, and I didn't know why. Normally he was the one I talked to the most.

It was a brief goodbye before I left with Alice. She had borrowed Carlisle's car, so I knew he'd stayed home from work today.

"See?" She spoke up, "Was that so bad?"

"No." I replied quietly, "It wasn't bad. I didn't think it'd be like that."

"Like what?"

"That easy." I said, "I thought it was going to be a lot harder than that."

"I knew it would." She replied, "I told you we trust them."

I looked over at her, "Did it go well?"

"The hunt?" She asked, and I nodded, "It went great."

"Good." I nodded a little. They certainly deserved it after all they'd been doing for me.

"So you couldn't sleep last night?" She asked, and I sighed a little.

"Not at first." I answered, "So I got up and went downstairs. Mike followed me after a few minutes, though. Just to see if I was okay."

"And?"

"He's a good guy." I concluded, "I mean, I've always thought that, but more now. He likes being a dad." She smiled, "And he's really good at it."

"I can tell." She replied, "It fits him."

"I learned a lot of things yesterday." I muttered, looking down.

"About?" She prompted.

"My parents." I sighed, "And theirs."

"Heather's?" She asked, and I nodded. That seemed to bother her.

"She told me about what her mom was like." I explained, "She makes my mom look like mom of the year."

"Ouch." She frowned.

"Yeah." I muttered, "I guess their mom treated them bad too, right along with their dad, and their parents were always fighting with each other. She called them both accidents. Told them she never wanted them." Her frown stayed, "My mom never said that stuff to me. She acted like it, but.. If she'd told me that, it would have made it worse, I think."

"What did you learn about your parents?"

"That my dad was the reason my mom let Jack into our lives." I replied, looking out the window, "He's the reason it all fell apart."

"What?"

"She didn't exactly tell me that." I said, "She said that he was young back then. Made a lot of mistakes, and that he never gave up on me, but that he was the one that gave up on being married to my mom. She said that.. Sometimes having kids changes things, and nobody can help that. She said that my mom was the one to keep trying even though he'd given up." I looked down, "She was afraid of being alone with me to raise, and Jack knew that."

I took a breath in the responding silence before continuing.

"I don't blame her so much anymore." I murmured, "I still hate her, but I don't blame her so much." She stayed quiet, "Why can't I remember any of that?"

"You were just a baby, Leandra." She replied quietly, "There are bound to be many things you don't remember. The earliest memories you have are of Jack already there. That would make you, what? Three? Four?"

"Four, I think." I replied, "I mean, she married him when I was three, but I don't remember anything about that time. The earliest thing I remember, he was already there." She nodded a little, "But only a few things. Like.. Foggy little bits, only parts of memories. A few things are clearer than others. Like the first real beating I ever got, or a few of the times he made me sit with him on the couch. Or the rabbit."

"Rabbit?" She asked.

"The rabbit he made me hold while he killed it." I answered, "I still remember that really clearly." She must not have been around to hear that the day I told that to Charlie, given her horrified expression. I decided to just go on, "The memories I have of just starting school are clearer, and those things were before that."

"There was so much going on in your early life, I'm not surprised you don't remember anything about it." She added.

"I wish I could." I said, "If I could just remember her for myself, what she was like before all that stuff happened, then maybe I wouldn't hate her so much. Everyone keeps telling me that she loved me. I've never seen that. It just confuses me, or makes me wonder if we're talking about the same person." I sighed, "Heather just gave me a lot to think about. That's all, and at least I get why Jack's so screwed up now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if I had my mom telling me those things all the time, I'd hate everyone too." I replied, "Especially if Ken is the only one left to look up to, and he's just in it to screw them up even more."

We both fell quiet this time as she made the turn off the highway onto the drive. Meaning we still had a minute or two before we made it to the house. I always liked to watch out the window on this drive. I liked to see the trees and foliage on either side of us, as it gave me a good sense of isolation. Not to mention the scenery.

I was, however, startled as I clearly saw someone standing there. Just inside the trees, but we passed too fast for me to get a good look.

I jumped roughly, instantly sitting straighter and turning in my seat, straining to see back behind us. My heart instantly racing, my entire body reacting to what I saw.

"Whoa." Alice had noticed, startled as well, which was impressive, "Geez. What's wrong?"

"Stop." I said.

"Why?"

"Stop." I requested again, and she finally did as I asked. I jumped out before we were even fully stopped.

"Leandra, what is it?" She climbed out as well, rounding the car to my side just as I got moving. Back toward where I saw this person. Sighing, she followed me, "Leandra?"

"There was someone here." I told her, looking over at her, "I saw someone standing here." She frowned, inspecting the spot I gestured.

"There was nobody here." She replied, "Maybe it was the shadows between the trees. Maybe your eyes playing tricks again."

"I know I saw someone." I stepped forward, pawing apart the leaves of the foliage.

"Maybe you're tired-"

"I slept better last night than I have in months." I shook my head, "Better than I have since Christmas. I know what I saw."

"Leandra, I'm telling you." She insisted, "There was nobody here. Nobody's been here. If anybody had been here, they'd leave a scent. There's no scent here. What did this person look like?"

"I-I don't know." I admitted, but I began to doubt, "I didn't get to see. They were gone too fast, I mean.. We passed by too fast, but they were here. I saw them. I know I saw them."

"It's okay." She assured me, "Come on. Let's go home." I hesitated, inspecting the foliage again, before I finally let her turn me around. Leading me back toward the car.

I couldn't figure it out. I was so sure I'd seen someone there, but Alice was telling me there was no hint of anybody there. I trusted her more than I trusted my own mind, and I knew she wouldn't lie. Despite knowing she wouldn't lie, it was very unsettling.

From there, we made it home without me seeing anything, and I looked. Intently staring out the window for another glimpse, but I didn't see anything.

She turned off the car inside the garage, sitting there for a moment. I sat there with her, just trying to calm down. She never said anything before she sighed and eventually turned. Standing from the car as I followed.

I knew what she was thinking, so I was pretty sure I didn't want her to say anything. Seeing things that weren't there was a pretty bad sign. That was not only a pretty depressing thing, but it was pretty damn scary.

"Leandra?" She murmured before we could get inside. I looked up at her hesitantly.

"I know." I whimpered, and hearing my tone, she hugged me, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"If it happens again.." She trailed off, and I looked up at her.

"If it happens again, I'll ignore it." I replied, "Please don't say anything."

She sighed as I stepped back, "For now." That was as close to an okay as I was getting. I sighed too, but I wasn't too relieved. I nodded a little, heading inside first.

Emmett was keeping Esme company in the kitchen, unfortunately seeing my expression as I passed him.

"Hey, shorty." He said, but I didn't stop, "Um, okay. Bad night?"

"Opposite." Alice answered for me, "It went great. It was the drive home that was a little iffy."

I didn't care if she continued that explanation or not. I just headed for my room. Setting my bag to the side, I closed my door lightly and leaned back against it. Closing my eyes.

Honestly, I was scared. I knew it wasn't good. I said I'd ignore it the next time it happened, but I didn't know if I could. I wasn't exactly afraid of what I'd seen, but more startled. Jumpy, because I never expected it. Like a jump-scare in a movie.

I knew I saw someone. The fact that I was so sure was part of what scared me. It wasn't shadows, or reflections this time. It wasn't any specific way the leaves were positioned. It was a person. Someone was there. The fact that I was so sure, though, made me start to doubt my own eyes. I didn't like to doubt.

I opened my eyes again, and I could easily tell that I could see just fine. There was nothing wrong with my eyes themselves, as I could still see as well as I could see before. They weren't tired or hurting, though I did have a pretty decent headache at that point. I blamed it on the instant reaction I had to seeing whoever it was beside the road, but other than that slight headache, I was fine.

I was sure someone was there. Alice was sure nobody had been there. Who did I want to believe more? I wanted to believe Alice, but believing Alice would mean admitting to myself that something was wrong with me.

**A/N: Uh-oh. :D  
I decided to end the chapter here. Still not much happening yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll pick up soon. Although, I'll never look at a pelican the same way. I've successfully ruined pelicans for myself, in honor of this chapter. You're welcome.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed the first chapter! :D It means SO much to me. :)  
Chapter three may take a few days. Just a heads up. It's got quite a bit in it, and I've got to figure out what to make of it. I did get a fairly decent reaction from my 'unofficial' beta about it, though, so I'm going to approve it. :)  
Until Three, my beautiful readers! :D  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

I sat in there until just before lunch. I figured it'd be best just to pretend nothing happened, because trying to reason with myself wasn't working anymore. Trying to explain what had happened was impossible, and no matter how many times the facts circled in my head, they refused to make sense. I saw someone, Alice didn't. So I would ignore it. Deny it to myself.

Maybe she was only lying about there not being a scent. To either make me feel better, or to screw with my head, but that didn't sound right. She was being honest. To her, there really hadn't been anyone there.

Nobody but Alice seemed to give me that knowing look, so I assumed she kept her word about not saying anything to anyone unless it happened again. Despite what she said, she stayed beside me. Sitting with me while I didn't eat my lunch. Esme had wandered off once I had the food I wasn't hungry enough to eat, probably to talk to Carlisle.

Alice and I sat in silence for a few minutes, now and then glancing at each other. She was worried about me, and I understood that, but I wasn't used to being babysat by Alice.

"So.." Emmett prompted as I pushed food around on my plate. I looked over at his arrival to my other side.

"What?" I asked defensively at his grin.

"How did it go?" He asked, "Your first night away from home."

"Oh." I laughed a little, relieved, "It was okay." I shrugged a little, "Nothing like having hot chocolate at two in the morning."

"Is that code for something?"

"Um.." I frowned, "I don't _think_ so, but I'm not sure what you mean."

"I was just kidding." He said, "But why two in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep." I explained with a sigh, "So Mike kept me company."

"I see." He smiled a little, "Well, I'm glad you weren't alone at least."

"And the turtle.." I hesitated, "Well, he still doesn't like me, but he doesn't hide anymore."

"That's good too." He pointed out.

"And he hasn't bitten me yet."

"Another positive note."

"Do I smell bad to you?" I asked, curious as I looked over.

"Not especially." He smirked, "Why?"

"Zack thinks it's my smell that makes Jerk not like me." I mumbled. Alice laughed a little, shaking her head.

"Well, just take a look at its name." He muttered, "That turtle's a jerk." I laughed a little at that.

"No." I said, "All the animals at the mall hated me too. I almost got eaten by a demon cat, but Alice saved me. Well, all the animals, except for the puppies."

"Oh, boy." Emmett chuckled, "You found the puppies? Pomeranian or chihuahua?" I just smiled, giving him a look. He laughed again, "No, it's probably our scent he doesn't like. Animals are smart that way. They smell a scent like ours, and they know to stay away from it. Humans, on the other hand.. They smell it, and find it appealing for some weird reason."

"Hunting purposes." Alice added, and I glanced to her.

"Yeah," Emmett said, "That."

"Oh." I muttered, understanding now, "Okay, I get it now."

"Mystery solved?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied, "At least now I know that it's not me he hates. It's you."

"Great." He chuckled.

"Maybe that's why the cat in New York scratched me too."

"More than likely." He nodded, "Either that, or the cat's just an ass."

"Maybe both." I nodded as well, "So, would all animals hate me then?"

"Probably." He replied, "Just until they know you won't kill them. They see you as a threat to them because you smell like us."

"Got it." I nodded again, "Stay away from the zoo."

"Definitely stay away from the zoo." He agreed, nodding, "There are tigers and stuff there. If house-cats attack you, tigers would scale the wall to kill you."

"Nice." I winced, shaking my head, but I couldn't help laughing at that thought. It was funny to imagine. It fell quiet for a moment, as he looked at me.

He sighed, "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not that hungry." I explained, looking to my plate again, "I ate a ton yesterday, and I ate this morning."

"One piece of bacon and a bite of toast hardly counts." Alice sighed as well.

"Tattletale." I grumbled.

"Sorry." She replied, not sounding sorry in the least, "At least a few bites."

"I did." I argued, looking over at her.

"A few more, then." She urged, pointing to the plate.

"Do you ever hate not being able to eat?" I asked.

"Changing the subject." Emmett pointed out, "I know that move well."

"We can eat, so it's not a matter of not having the ability to." Alice explained, "We just don't handle it well. We're not built like you. Now eat."

"Not built, how?" I asked, ignoring the last part of that.

"We don't digest things." She replied, "It'd just sit there."

"Gross." I laughed a little, "But cool."

"Personally, I've never tried it." She said, "Food just doesn't seem appetizing to me."

"Have Emmett catch you a squirrel."

"Oh, no." He scoffed, "No, not that subject. I refuse to throw you into a coma again."

"It wasn't that subject." I said, "It was Mikah. Don't blame the squirrel."

"I forbid you to bring that up again." He told me.

"I don't even really remember what I was doing." I argued, "I just know it was about Mikah, but nothing else."

"Don't ask me." Emmett shook his head, "I forgot."

"Leandra." Alice sighed, "Come on."

"Telling me to eat just makes me not want to eat even more." I pointed out, "You know how my mind works."

"Exactly the way a four year old's mind works." Emmett added, and I looked to him.

"Hey." I frowned, offended.

Alice sighed, "Fine." She stood up, taking my plate.

"Hey." I said again, "I was eating that."

"No you weren't."

"Give it back." I pouted, and she rolled her eyes a little, setting the plate back down in front of me. Chuckling, Emmett reached to take my plate away, and I stabbed his hand with my fork. Not as hard as I could, as I didn't want to seriously injure the fork, but he got the message.

"Mine." I muttered, giving him a look.

"Mom, shorty stabbed me." Emmett whined, and I looked over as Esme entered the kitchen.

"No I didn't." I countered, taking a bite, "He's lying." I couldn't help smiling though. I'd never had to argue like that before.

"I think you need to teach her how to share." Emmett went on, nodding to Esme.

"I don't share." I said, "Not my food. My food is my food."

He reached over again after a moment or two. I snapped my teeth at him, and we both laughed.

"Meanie." He muttered, standing.

"Where are you going?" I asked, looking up at him. Actually worried I'd chased him off.

"Now that you're properly supervised and seem to be mostly in one piece for now, I think I might go pay Rose a little visit."

"Yeah, she probably gets pretty lonely over there." I muttered. He gave me a smile and a pat on my head before turning. I called after him, "Tell her hi for me."

"Will do." He replied, "And shorty?" I looked over at him, "We missed you yesterday." It was nice to know they cared when I was gone. I smiled a little. He just didn't know how much better he'd just made me feel, without even trying.

I sighed as I heard the front door close. I took another bite in the silence that followed, much to Alice's approval.

I worried that I'd just given them a way to get me to eat when I really didn't want to. Threaten to take my food before I was ready to give up on it, I'd automatically remember what it was like not to have enough food, and defend my plate. Eating whatever was on it, whether I was actually hungry or not. My food was my food.

It could have been considered cruel, but if it worked, I'd understand if they resorted to that more often. That was one instinct I hadn't lost yet.

"How are you feeling?" Esme asked me, watching me finally eat.

"I'm okay." I replied quietly, "Hanging in there." I knew why she was asking. After the last two weeks or so, this question was appropriate.

"Alice says you got some good sleep last night?" She prompted.

That reminded me, "I did. Once I was tired enough to sleep, at least. I think it's because of where Zack's bed is."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"His bed is against the wall." I explained, "I liked sleeping there. It made it feel more closed in. Not as.. Out there, you know? I liked that."

"Well, we could always try moving your room around." Alice offered, and I looked to her.

"It's not too much trouble?" I asked. She smiled and gave me a look.

"Not at all." She replied, "If it helps you sleep better, it's worth a try. Any particular arrangement you're looking for, or just the bed against the wall?"

"Just against the wall." I answered, and she nodded. With another smile, she turned. Leaving the kitchen and heading for my room. I thought I'd have to bug for awhile to get my furniture moved around.

I looked to Esme again, "How's Carlisle?"

"Busy." She replied simply, "As always."

"Sorry." I murmured, "I know I'm a pain in the butt."

"No." She said, "That's not what I meant. He loves taking care of you."

"He does?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course." She laughed a little, "We all do."

"Then you're welcome."

She laughed again, and I felt even better about staying with Heather the night before. If it got them the time they needed to be together, why not? Nothing bad happened, and it went pretty well.

"Esme?" I muttered, and she looked to me, "I just wanted to say that if you have to drop me there again, it's okay to. I just ask for some kind of heads up."

She nodded, keeping her smile, "I'm glad you had a good time there."

As it turned out, I loved the new position of my furniture. My bed sat in the far corner of the room across from the door, the dresser against the wall nearest the foot of the bed. The small nightlight sitting on top of that dresser, and with it closer to me, it seemed brighter this way. The chest dresser against the far wall this time, rounding the room out a little more.

The window was closer to me now, though, but I figured I could get over that. As long as it stayed locked, I shouldn't have a problem.

I thanked Alice for doing this for me, and was actually excited about the room now. It seemed a lot more open, too, but I also knew I'd feel more secure with where the bed was now.

I did sleep better that night, and the following night. It wasn't a chore to get me to go to bed, or something for me to dread. It took me quite awhile to figure out why I slept so much better with my bed placed there. It just suddenly clicked, and when I did, I didn't like it much.

Nobody had seen the room I had before. I refused to let anyone see it. Mostly because I didn't want anybody to see where I'd come from. I didn't want them to see the way I lived, or what I lived with.

Back there, where I lived before, my bed sat up against the wall. I had no doubts that was what it was that made it so much easier to sleep. The position of the bed was still familiar. Still familiar after over a year, and I couldn't shake how much that bothered me. It bothered me that it was still familiar when I had no reason for it to be. Back there, I had no choice but to sleep when I could, and I'd always sleep facing the wall, just so I didn't have to look around and worry about what could be in the room with me.

It was stupid to let that make a difference, but it was also involuntary.

Needless to say, after over a week of sleeping better than I had in a long time, I figured all of this out. It actually surprised the others to see me leave my room in the middle of the night. Unshed tears in my eyes, but threatening to fall at any second as I found the open spot on the end of the couch.

"Shorty?" Emmett frowned, and I glanced over at him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Are you-"

"Can I just sit out here?" I asked, "Please? Just for a little while?" He sighed.

"Yeah." He replied, "You can sit out here whenever you want to." I nodded, finally letting the tears fall. Esme immediately traded seats. Moving from where she sat in the chair to the open spot beside me on the couch.

I didn't want to tell anyone about it. Keeping that particular detail to myself. I was more bothered by this than I knew I should be, but I couldn't help it. I absolutely hated having my room here compared to my room there. How something so simple could make such a difference was stupid, but I hated it.

I did jump though as Carlisle's phone rang. He turned to leave, probably to answer it away from me, but I spoke up.

"Don't leave." I requested, and he looked back at me, "You don't have to leave the room every time your phone rings." I felt in the way enough.

"I want to avoid upsetting you." Was his response.

"The only thing upsetting me is not knowing what's going on." I sniffled. The echoing sighs through the room told me this was something they were expecting, "I don't know anything that's going on anymore. Nobody will tell me anything."

"Can you blame us?" Emmett asked, "Honestly? Remember what happened?"

"It won't make me do that to hear it from you." I muttered, "It was hearing his voice, and what he said that did that. Not you."

"Besides." Alice spoke up, "There are things you won't tell us." I looked down immediately, "I know one thing in particular that Carlisle would be really interested to know." My heart sank, and I shut up for a moment.

"Okay, you made your point." I grumbled.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked.

"You can't say anything." I told Alice, "It hasn't happened again, and you said."

"Okay," She said, "Then what about tonight? Why all of a sudden are you having problems again? What did you dream about?"

"I'd like to hear about the first subject." Carlisle spoke up again, refusing to let the subject change, "What is it?" Alice obviously hadn't expected him not to let it go. I gave her a look, and she returned it apologetically.

"You said." I whined.

"What is it, shorty?" Emmett asked, now concerned.

She looked to Carlisle, "I told her I wouldn't say anything unless it happened again."

"If it's bad enough to make her fall quiet like that, I think I need to know." He countered, looking to me next.

"Nice going." I snapped quietly at her.

"She's been seeing things." She finally explained, "A person, in particular, when no one is there." If I didn't know before, I knew by the way they looked to me that it wasn't good.

"And you chose not to tell me about this?" Carlisle wasn't happy.

"I knew what it would mean for her." Alice admitted, "I didn't want her feeling that way about herself."

"That's something serious." Emmett agreed with Carlisle, "You should have at least let him know."

"He's right." Carlisle defended him, "I understand that your intentions were good, Alice, but that was something I needed to know. It was very irresponsible of you to keep that from me."

"Don't be mad at her." I mumbled.

"No." Alice said, "He's right. They're both right. I should have said something when it first came up. I'm sorry."

"When?" Carlisle asked, "How long ago?"

"The first time was at the mall." She answered, "I caught her staring at nothing, and later she asked me if I'd seen anyone there. I didn't." I listened to the silence before she went on, "The second time, it caught her off guard. We were coming back here after I picked her up from Heather's this morning. She saw someone beside the drive, and once again, nobody was there. I made sure of that myself."

"What did this person look like?" Emmett asked.

"I hardly think it matters." Alice frowned.

"I don't know." I muttered, "The first time, I was too far away to really see him. The second time, we passed too fast for me to get a good look. It scared me, and I scared Alice. I know I saw someone. Someone _was_ there, but she says there wasn't. No scent or anything."

Carlisle sighed, "I'd like-"

"Please don't." I whined, "It hasn't happened since then, so I'm fine now. I don't need a bunch of tests ran on me."

"Regardless." He said, "Tomorrow, I'd like to take you in. I want to be sure there isn't something seriously wrong."

"There is something seriously wrong with me." I grumbled, "But it's got nothing to do with me seeing things."

"She could just be under too much stress." Alice offered, "Sometimes that causes hallucinations like that."

I sighed, "At least tell me if you found Jack or not."

"Not yet." Carlisle answered with a sigh, and I looked down, "He's staying far enough away from them that we can't track him down."

"Jasper's been busy." I pointed out quietly.

"He sure has." Alice nodded, but didn't offer any more of an explanation.

"With what?" I asked.

"Watching your dad." She replied simply, sitting down.

"But there's something else, isn't there?"

"No."

"Liar." I mumbled instantly, and I knew by the way she looked down that I was right.

She sighed, "Sorry, Leandra."

"Oh, come on!"

"I'm sorry," She repeated, "But no. If you're out here to fish for information on what's going on, then I can't help you. I refuse."

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Jasper was suddenly suddenly standing there, but his eyes found me, "Oh."

"She's demanding." Alice explained, "Being a little difficult-"

"You're the one that ratted on me." I argued lightly, "Remember?"

Carlisle sighed, gestured for Jasper to follow and rounded for the stairs. I sighed, but watched after them, making no move to follow.

"This isn't fair."

"It's plenty fair." Emmett replied, finding yet another news channel on the TV. Something was going on in Seattle, and it'd obviously gotten their attention. It caught my attention this time, and I watched. Murders, disappearances, and chaos had everyone concerned. I was getting mad, though. Despite the way I did the same thing to them repeatedly, I didn't like to be kept in the dark and getting ran around in circles.

"You don't think Jack is causing that, do you?" I asked.

Emmett laughed a little, the sound tense and humorless, "No. He's not good enough to pull this sort of thing off."

"Because that's where he was." I pointed to the screen. I was pressing, and I knew I probably shouldn't have been, but Emmett knew what I was doing.

"We're all well aware." He grumbled, keeping his tone tight and his responses careful.

He was probably still mad about what Alice kept from Carlisle. He was always so protective of me, and to find out Alice kept that from him bugged him. I could see it, but I ignored that.

"So it's someone else?"

"Yes." He replied.

"Do you know who?"

"No." I didn't believe that.

"Who is it?"

"Leandra." The word was a quiet warning.

"Who is it?" I asked again.

"Twenty questions?" He asked in return, finally looking over at me, "Enough with the damn questions." He'd never been bothered by my question-asking before, and to my surprise, his light snap bothered me. It hurt me.

"Emmett." Esme scolded quietly.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Don't you think if we could tell you, we would?" He asked, "Don't you think it's a little hard for us to keep you in the dark like this? Of course we'd just _love_ your input, even if you couldn't possibly think of anything we haven't already thought of, but telling you absolutely anything is a little impossible right now, so please do everyone a gigantic favor and stop asking. For just this once, stop asking."

I sat there for a minute, finally remembering to look away from him. He was stressed, and I knew that, but that didn't make any difference to the way I wanted to cry.

He realized that and sighed, "Shorty, I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything, keeping my eyes forward now. If I would have spoken, he'd have known how close to tears I was, and even if he probably already knew, I felt so stupid for almost crying over that. I definitely didn't want him to see me do that.

"Aw, shorty." He sighed again, "Come on. I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it."

"I'm going to bed." I muttered, standing up. Without looking up, I turned and headed for my room. As soon as my back was turned to him, I was already in tears, so I nearly didn't make it.

The second my door closed behind me, I heard their muffled arguing up the hall. I couldn't hear any specific words, but I didn't need to hear specific words. I knew what it was about. Alice and Esme were probably letting him have it for snapping at me. Something he'd never been stressed enough to do before.

I crossed the room to my bed, laying on it and facing the wall.

It was stupid to feel like this, and I knew it, because if anyone understood what it was like to say things without thinking under stress, it was me. I didn't blame him. I wasn't mad at him, but I didn't exactly want to stick around to cry like a baby in front of him, either. Not only did I want to save a little face, but that probably would only make him feel worse.

Leaving the living room was probably the best option.

This little issue with Emmett made it almost easy to concentrate on something else, and in doing so, I fell back to sleep. Ignoring how familiar my bed's position was. That suddenly didn't matter as much anymore.

Waking a little later to a quiet knock at my door, I had a feeling I knew what that knock meant. Given what time of morning it was.

"I'm not going." I sniffled tiredly, closing my eyes.

"I talked him out of it." I hugged my pillow tighter at Emmett's response in the doorway, "He won't be dragging you anywhere for some test."

"Okay." I eventually replied. It was quiet for a moment. He didn't say anything, and I sure didn't offer any sort of conversation. I wasn't done feeling sorry for myself. Still nursing my wounded feelings.

"Alice sure did a good job on the room." He offered. I just adjusted how my head laid. He was trying to make small talk, but I wasn't up for it. I hated feeling so bitter toward him, as I'd never had to before. He hadn't even yelled. All he'd done was get a little short with me, slightly sore. I didn't want to make that worse, though.

I thought I'd seen him irritated before, back when we lived in New York, but this was something different. His tone had been sharp this time, instead of firm.

He sighed, and I learned through the sound that he'd drifted further into the room.

"I'm sorry." He told me, "I didn't mean for it to sound like that. There is a lot of pressure on us right now, shorty, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

I kept my eyes on the wall, but I didn't need to look at him for him to know I was crying. I didn't want to make everything worse.

He sighed again, "I'll just be out here."

I nodded a little. I just wanted to be alone for right then. I was a little sensitive, and not really up for talking. I knew eventually I'd forgive him for it, but right then, I didn't really see it happening.

"Can I ask one more thing?" He asked, and I waited, "What happened last night? Why did you come out?" I wouldn't tell him that. Choosing only to curl closer to the wall, he got his answer. I knew it was wrong to feel comforted by this position, but I did.

"Right." He mumbled when I stayed quiet, "I'll just.. Go now." I nodded again, and listened to the door close.

I hated that I'd pissed him off enough to snap. Now he felt bad, and I felt bad, and I didn't even want to let him fix it. At least not yet.

I stayed in there all afternoon, closing my eyes at the next knock at the door.

"Please go away, Emmett." I muttered, "I get it, okay? You're sorry."

"I'm sure he is." I did sit up, turning to face the door at the voice there.

After going for so long in New York thinking I'd never see him again, I was really happy to see my dad standing there in the doorway. There was no way I was expecting this. He smiled at me, and I climbed off the bed. I crossed the room to him, hugging him as soon as I got to him.

I did have to admit. It felt nice to hug him again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, looking up at him as I stepped back. I only then noticed how tired he looked now. He definitely looked like he needed sleep, and soon.

"Look at you." He laughed sadly, looking me over, "You've grown so much since I last saw you."

"What's wrong?" I asked, nervous now.

"Nothing." He replied instantly, "Nothing is wrong." I gave him a look.

"I'm not stupid." I argued.

"Really." He insisted, "Nothing is wrong. Not anymore. It's been sorted, okay? And I just thought I'd come see you. I just wanted to see you, kiddo." That was a little more believable. I nodded a little, and hugged him again. This time, he picked me up, hugging me tighter.

He sighed, letting me sit back in his arm to look at me again, "Are you okay? How are you doing?"

"Been better." I admitted, shrugging a little as I looked down, "I mean, it's been.. Pretty hard for me."

"I understand." He nodded a little, "Believe me. I've wanted to come see you for awhile now. I just couldn't until now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I said, "How's Lily?"

"She's good." He replied after a moment, nodding a little, "She's doing good now. She's back home, and Rachel's taking care of her. They'll be here anytime within the next few days."

"Back home?" I asked, "Where'd she go?" I frowned. I couldn't remember anyone saying a word about her going anywhere, and why was he sending her anywhere in the first place? Didn't he know how dangerous that was?

"They didn't tell you." He muttered, but it wasn't a question.

"Tell me what?"

"Oh, boy." He sighed heavily. I started getting nervous again. If it was bad enough that nobody would tell me about it, I knew I had every reason to be nervous.

"They don't tell me anything about what's going on." I told him, "Not a thing. What happened?"

"That's a pretty long story." He said, "And I honestly can't blame them for not telling you. Maybe it'd be better if-"

"Not you too." I muttered, "Please. Tell me what happened. Is Lily okay?"

"She's fine." He at least told me that part, "She's alright. We made sure of that, but.."

"But..?"

"But hey, did I tell you the good news?" He asked, turning from my room with me, "We're moving closer."

"You are?" I asked, despite the very obvious subject change.

"Yeah." He nodded, "Mostly as a.. Temporary arrangement, just until things settle down, but yeah. Got ourselves a nice little apartment in town. I just signed the paperwork, so I thought-"

"You're moving?" I asked, "Here?"

"Yes." He chuckled, carrying me into the living room. The room was still pretty packed, but I chose to ignore one person in particular like he wasn't sitting there watching me.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I frowned.

"Why wouldn't we?" He asked, giving a quiet chuckle, but I heard the tension in the sound. He was on edge, just like everyone else. He knew more than he was telling me.

I should have known better than to ask so many questions again, especially after Emmett's reaction, but I was so confused. I mostly just wanted to understand his reasoning, instead of prying for an answer he didn't want to give me.

"Why are you moving?" I asked quietly. Not that I wasn't slightly happy he was, but it didn't make any sense. Why would he move away from the place he'd lived for so long, so suddenly? I knew it wasn't just to be closer to me.

"Just until things settle down." He assured me. I understood a little better now, giving a small nod.

"So until Jack gets caught." I translated, and he looked away in Carlisle's direction. That was obviously the thing he didn't want me to figure out. I pieced it together further, "He's been after you, hasn't he? You had to move to keep him from knowing where you are."

"I won't lie." He sighed, letting me to my feet, "Yes, Leandra. He has. Well, not specifically him, but-"

"It's still him." I muttered, and he nodded. I watched him sit on the couch in front of me. I wasn't exactly eager to sit down.

I shook my head a little, looking down. I'd known it for some time, but it was still hard to hear. I'd known he had become a target, but I hated knowing he was suffering because of it, and had to move just to regain a bit of piece of mind. I didn't want this for him. I hadn't wanted this for anyone, and the fact that something had obviously pushed him away from his home bugged me.

Then I thought about it, my heart sinking as I finally understood.

"He had Lily." I looked to him again. The way he didn't immediately answer answered for him. I almost couldn't breathe for a second, "What? When? How did he get her?"

I looked over as Carlisle stood up with a sigh, "Leandra-"

"How?" I demanded of my dad, "When? What would they want with a five year old?"

"Lily turned six last month." My dad replied, and once again, my heart dropped.

"She's fine." My dad assured me, "They only had her a couple of days, and the second she came home, we had her looked over. I promise. Not a scratch on her."

My expression dropped, and Carlisle spoke up. Reiterating one point as he made it to my side, kneeling down to look at me, "She was fine. She was thoroughly checked over at the hospital for every potential issue, just to be safe. There wasn't a scratch on her."

"It's not a scratch I'm worried about." I suddenly started to cry, "She's six, Carlisle."

"Leandra, nothing like that went on." He told me, "If anything like that had happened, the doctors would have known. They checked her for that as well."

My dad, obviously not filled in on every detail, couldn't understand why I was so upset. I hugged Carlisle, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. I couldn't help it. I wanted to hug someone who understood. Who knew why I was suddenly so upset.

I couldn't calm down. Somehow imagining my sister going through what I went through at her age bothered me. Deeply. I might not have liked her much, but that was just because she hadn't ever gone through anything like that. Just because I didn't like her because of that, didn't mean I'd ever wish something like that on her. On anyone, much less my sister.

No doubt this was exactly why nobody told me anything. Carlisle had said that hadn't happened, but it still scared me. I'd believe him more when I had a chance to cry about it.

"Oh." My dad suddenly understood, "She's worried that.." He trailed off, and I felt Carlisle nod.

"That's the age that first happened to her." Carlisle explained for me, "And nearly every night until we found her."

"Six?" My dad asked, suddenly sounding breathless, "Six years old?"

"I'm afraid so." He answered, "She's worried about the possibility of a pattern."

"No, Leandra." My dad told me, "She's completely fine. I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now if she wasn't."

He had a point there. If anything like that had happened to her, and he found out about it, he would probably not even be thinking about me and would have stayed there with her. He wouldn't leave her side for anything.

It still bothered me to think about Lily anywhere near either of them.

"We're not even sure if she was with them." My dad added, as if knowing where my thoughts had gone. Confused, I looked over at him, "She won't say where she's been."

"She was with them." I whimpered confidently, trying to stop crying. Taking deep breaths, holding those breaths and forcing my sobs to die, "She was okay, right? She was fine, right? Right?"

"She was fine." My dad repeated, "A little nervous at everyone fussing over her, but she was fine." I took another, deeper breath. I believed him, because he meant it. He spoke again.

"Leandra, I didn't know that." He told me, and I knew what he was talking about, "I didn't know that.. That.. I didn't know what happened had happened.." He was having trouble, and I felt bad for him.

"It's not your fault." I mumbled, shutting him up, "He took Lily, though, probably to try to scare me into finding him."

"I see." My dad replied, "That certainly explains why they never told you."

"I would have wanted to find him. Again." I hesitantly stepped half a step back away from Carlisle. I was okay enough to let him go, but he stayed there. Probably in case I wasn't quite done being upset. I appreciated that, giving him a glance.

She was okay. They hadn't hurt her. I had to keep my thoughts in that direction. Just like before, I had to force myself to think about what actually did happen instead of what could have happened.

I whimpered, though, looking down. I felt sick, knowing they had her right there with them. That plan would have worked, had I known about it.

We all looked over, though, at the front door opening forcefully. Seeing Rosalie for the first time in awhile wasn't nearly as surprising as her anger. I jumped at her entrance, watching as she stepped inside, her posture stiff. Esme was on her feet from where she sat silently, picking up on the tension.

"I still don't see what the big deal is." Rosalie stated, rounding to look at Alice who'd followed her in, "I took care of the problem." Emmett was on his feet as well, crossing the room to Rose's side. He was worried, and I couldn't blame him.

"Carlisle." Alice huffed, "We have a problem."

"But I took care of it." Rose insisted, "There is no problem."

"By taking care of the problem, you created a new problem." Alice sighed, "You're lucky nobody saw you."

"I hope someone did." She countered, "Maybe they'll spread the word, and think twice next time."

"That's the problem."

"Now isn't the time." Carlisle told them, standing up, "Upstairs, both of you. I'll be along in a moment." They moved to take his instruction. Doing as he told them, Emmett and Esme following, as Carlisle looked to me again.

"Go ahead." I muttered, "I'm okay now."

"You're sure?" He asked and I nodded.

"I'll stay here." I sniffled a little.

He nodded as well, patted my shoulder and turned with a quiet, "Excuse me."

Stiffly, I sat down beside my dad on the couch, staring down at my hands. Oddly enough, he didn't even seem like he wanted to ask what that was all about. Probably at the end of his stress tolerance, and I couldn't blame him either. I'd been there before, but that brought me back to the topic.

Lily. I couldn't believe they'd taken Lily.

"How did it happen?" I asked, looking over at my dad, "How'd they get Lily?"

"She was taken from school." He answered quietly, "Nobody seemed to find it odd that neither her mother nor I were the ones to pull her out, but apparently, it wasn't worth a phone call to us. She was gone for three days, until she finally just.. Showed up. Came walking in the front door like nothing in the world was wrong. Happy to be home, but nothing like it should have been."

I paused, hesitating for a moment.

"Didn't you say you had me for three days once?" I asked, looking over at him.

"When you were two." He replied quietly, nodding a little. I had a feeling I'd just confirmed it for him. She had been with him, and that bothered him to face, but he fought it.

"What'd you do?" I asked, hoping to move on, "When she came back?"

"Of course we cried." He said, "Rachel was hysterical, almost refusing to let her go long enough for them to examine her." I nodded a little, "It's been.. So crazy the last week. I mean, there was.. Constant searching for her, and we'd already been discussing the option of moving away from that place. We have a lot of money saved up, so practically the second she got back, it was decided."

"You just want to be somewhere that he doesn't know where you are." I observed.

"Bingo." He sighed, "And it'll be nice to just.. Unwind a little, you know?"

"I know." I nodded again, and I did know. I knew that feeling well, but I had yet to find it.

"To be able to breathe for one minute." He paused, "I know it'll be nice for Rachel. She's been so on edge for weeks now, and it's not good in her condition."

"Condition?" I asked, looking over at him.

"She's pregnant, Leandra." He told me, "Has been for.. Oh, close to eight months now."

"Oh." I muttered, surprised, "I didn't know." I was so out of the loop. I was about to get another brother or sister, and I hadn't even known it.

"Yeah." He said, "Yeah. She's having another girl."

"Another?" Even I found that surprising, "That's three now, dad."

"Believe me," He laughed tiredly, "I know."

"You're gonna have to have a boy soon or you're going to be pretty outnumbered." He chuckled at that one, and I sighed, leaning back, "Well, I'm sure she'll be just as pretty as Lily."

"And as you." He added, and I crinkled my nose.

"I'm nowhere near pretty." I said, "I remind myself of something scraped off the bottom of a shoe."

"You're joking." He frowned, "You're very pretty, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I shook my head, but didn't want to keep arguing about it. I was just starting to cheer him up. I didn't want to undo all that.

"So what's this apartment like?" I asked.

"It isn't that bad." He replied, "I like it. I know Rachel would approve. Nice, small town. I've missed it here, actually."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged a little, reaching out and patting my hand, "Just.. You lose something when you leave a small town for a big city. I know that sounds weird, but it's the only way I can describe it."

"I know what you mean." I assured him, "Trust me, and the whole Jack not knowing where you are thing is a plus."

"A big plus." He agreed, "I don't expect that to last very long, of course, but it'll be nice while it lasts." I fell quiet, looking down. I really hated this. He was suffering because he was back in my life.

"Dad," I muttered, shaking my head, "I-"

"Don't even say it." He told me, knowing what I was about to say, "Leandra, this isn't your fault. None of it."

"Yes it is." I whimpered, "You wouldn't have to-"

"You are not responsible for someone else's actions, baby." He insisted, "I know it's hard to believe that, especially with him filling your head with nothing but lies the entire time he's known you, but you have to." I still didn't believe him, whimpering quietly, "Leandra, let me ask you something. Did you tell him to start all this?"

I knew where he was going with this, "No."

"Did you tell him to find us, and take Lily?"

"No."

"Did you tell him to do anything?"

"No." I said, "I tried to talk him out of it."

"Then how is it your fault?" He asked, "Other than what that lunatic has told you, what possible reason could you have to feel responsible for any of it?"

I didn't have one.

"I'm going to explain something to you." He sighed, gently turning me to face him on the couch, "You, Leandra, are a smart, wonderful, caring, beautiful little girl. You're an amazing person, but you're just a child. Ten years old. A baby. Do you know what that means?"

"That you don't know me very well?"

"It means," He went on, ignoring that, "That you are nowhere near responsible for what a thirty-some-odd year old man chooses to do. He makes his own choices, and his own decisions. Just because he tells you something, doesn't make it true. You are you, baby girl. Not him. Two separate people, leading two very separate lives. Nobody would ever hold you responsible for what he does, so you shouldn't either."

I looked down again, but he went on.

"Now." He said, lifting my hand, "Do you want to come help me pick out curtains for the new apartment? I'm lost when it comes to this whole homey touch thing, and I could definitely use a second opinion."

"If it's okay," I replied quietly, "Sure. I might be just as bad at it, though." I actually didn't mind spending some time with him while he was in town. I hadn't gotten to do that yet. Just him and I. Both by my own choice, and not having the time.

"Then we can make the wrong decision together." He smiled a little.

I was practically shoved out the door, so it was more than okay. This way, they could talk about whatever they wanted to talk about without chancing me overhearing, and since I'd never really spent time with just him, this was something they were incredibly supportive of. I'd never wanted to before.

Before going anywhere, we sat in the car and he showed me pictures on his phone of the inside of the apartment first before making me have to guess what would look good in there.

It was a two bedroom apartment, so I predicted Lily would have a big problem when she found out she'd have to share her room with the new baby when she got there. Of course, I didn't know what their living arrangement in Idaho was, so that could have been the case anyway.

We'd just made it into town when he spoke again.

"Geez, I forgot how nice it was just having to go such a short distance to find everything." He couldn't get over this small town thing, but I understood his excitement. I recalled that feeling perfectly.

"Move in day is next week," He said, "And I can't wait."

"Rachel knows?" I asked.

"Of course." He nodded, "I let her know."

"She's gotta pack that whole house on her own?" I wasn't sure, but wasn't that bad for a pregnant person?

"No." He laughed, "My brother is helping her, along with her parents."

"Brother?" I asked, looking over, "You have a brother?"

"I have two brothers." He nodded a little, as he glanced over at me, "I also have a niece and a nephew. Your cousins."

"How old are they?"

"Well, Dominic is fourteen, and Callie is eight and a half." He answered, "That 'and a half' is very important, you know." I smiled a little, amused, "You've actually never met them. The distance was just too far with a baby or two young kids." He paused, "You didn't know that?"

"No." I replied, surprised, "I didn't know that."

"You also have a grandpa." He told me, "I have a feeling you'll be meeting them all pretty soon."

"Do I have to?" I asked quietly, "Can I skip that part? I don't have the best luck with grandpas."

"Ah, that's right." He grumbled. He had been clearly told about Ken. He shook his head, before he sighed, "No, sweetie. My dad is nothing like Jack's dad. My dad is like me, or I should say I try to be like my dad. He's one of the greatest people I know."

"I'm still nervous." I admitted as he found the store, and pulled into the parking lot.

"I can't blame you." He replied gently, "But I swear, you don't have to be. I know he's pretty excited to meet you."

"I won't sit on his lap." I sighed, "So he better not ask me to." He frowned, but didn't say anything to that. I climbed out of the car as he followed me.

"I don't think that'll be a request, but I'll let him know." He finally told me, taking my hand. Though I glanced over, I didn't protest. I wasn't used to letting my hand be held by anyone but my family, and that was only if it was necessary. I knew, though, that if I wanted to, I could pull my hand away.

"Good." I mumbled in reply, "Because I won't do it."

"Not a big fan?" He asked quietly, but I knew he was just fishing for a few more details about what went on. He must not have had that many details. We stepped into the store, and I looked around briefly.

"Not really." I replied, but I wouldn't say much else. That was a huge understatement, but I didn't want to give him information to worry about later. I finally began to understand why my family was always keeping things from me. I didn't particularly like making anyone worry about me.

I held onto his hand, letting him lead me through the store, following the signs hanging from the ceiling.

"Why not?" He asked, but I stayed quiet. Relieved when we got to the aisle, and I spotted the curtain selection. I released his hand and picked up the first thing I saw, looking it over in hopes that he let the subject go. After the close call I had with Mike, I didn't want to risk accidentally saying too much.

He seemed to be letting it go, though.

"So." He sighed, lifting another package of curtains, "What do you think?"

"Let me see the pictures again." I requested, and he smiled a little. Pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking through it before handing it to me. I inspected the picture before I looked up.

"Which room is it for?" I asked.

"Living room." He replied, and I nodded, "How about the yellow?" I shook my head. That definitely didn't sound right.

"Save the yellow for Lily's room or the kitchen."

"Right." He chuckled. I frowned in thought.

"What's your furniture look like?"

"That matters?" He asked.

"Well, you don't want bright blue polka dotted curtains if your furniture is green. It wouldn't match." How did I even know this crap? I internally cringed at the thought of Alice making an impression on me.

"It's mostly tan." He chuckled.

"Then.." I looked through the selection, "Here." I handed him a brownish red set, "These would look good with tan." I sighed, "But then so would these." I picked up the dark green, looking them over.

He smiled, obviously amused at my apparently tough decision, "Which one?" I frowned, looking over the dark green and brown separately. I bit my lip in thought, until I shook my head and looked up at him.

"Those ones." I pointed to the brown set he was holding.

"Oh, good call." He replied, nodding a little as he looked them over. He reached out and took the green, though. He smiled, "I'll take these for our bedroom." I smiled a little in return, knowing he just wanted to be nice.

Then again, if his bedroom furniture was a gold color or light brown, dark green would work. Even any shade of brown, actually. Black, or even white. It wouldn't be hard to make those dark green curtains match something.

"Yellow would be a little too bright for the living room." I added, "In places like the living room, you want the curtains to do their job, right?"

"Right." He agreed.

"Maybe the light pink for Lily's room, though." I went on, "She likes pink, right?"

"She loves pink." He nodded a little.

"Then go for the plain pink ones." I said, "Nothing with polka dots or stripes or anything."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because something with a pattern like that would give her something to look at while she's in there." I answered, "If she's in there because she's in trouble, then it won't do any good."

He frowned, so I decided to explain, "When I was in trouble, sitting locked in my room, I used to spend time staring at the wallpaper in there. Or the ceiling. The ceiling was my favorite, because I could always find new patterns and stuff. It's not much punishment if there's something interesting to look at."

"Huh." He muttered, looking over the pastel pink set I handed him, "I don't think that would matter much."

"Why not?"

"She's got books and stuff in there, Leandra." He answered, "Toys, stuffed animals, things to keep her busy. The curtains won't make much of a difference if she's supposed to be in there bored out of her mind."

"Oh." I mumbled, "Yeah, I never had that stuff."

"Nothing?"

"Jack got rid of it all." I shrugged a little, "I never had any toys. No stuffed animals until I moved here."

"That's so sad." He murmured, and I glanced up. Dammit. I'd said too much.

"Nah." I sighed, hoping to make him feel better, "I didn't care that much. I got bored a lot, but that's what school was for. At school, they didn't take the crayons away and burn them in the sink." I reached out, picking up a yellow and white thin striped set of curtains. Handing them to him, "For the kitchen."

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking over what I'd handed him so far.

"Leandra, I don't know what you went through." He finally spoke up, and I carefully avoided his gaze. I didn't feel like getting into this with him. He sighed, "I mean, I know what he did to you, but I don't know the details."

"You don't want to know that." I replied simply.

"There are so many things that go along with what I do know." He continued, "Things I don't know. Things I should know."

"You don't want to." I repeated, shaking my head.

"Why not?"

"Because then you'll blame yourself." I answered, "It's not your fault, and I don't want you to think it is. It'll just make you feel bad, and I don't like making someone feel bad." I sighed, "Just do what I do. Blame mom, because it's her fault."

"Is it?"

"Yes." I replied, "She made you leave. I hate that bitch."

"Leandra." He frowned, correcting me.

"I hope I never see her again." I grumbled, "And she better hope she doesn't see me again either. Not until I learn to believe Heather a little more."

"Heather?"

"She told me some things." I admitted quietly, "About what happened between you and mom."

"Oh?" He prompted.

"She told me that.. Sometimes having kids changes people." I explained, "It's not the kid's fault, but it changes things."

He nodded a little, "She's always been too kind."

"Is that what happened?" I asked, looking up at him, "Did I change things for you and mom?"

"No." He replied immediately, "Leandra, what happened back then was our fault, not yours. Your mom and I just stopped getting along, and as much as I loved you, I couldn't put you through that. I really didn't want you growing up around fights like that."

"I know." I sighed, "You told me that part."

"It's true." He insisted, "You deserved better than that."

I stood there for a second, trying so hard to remember what it must have been like for me back then. I really had to ask myself, though. What would I rather have endured? My parents fighting all the time, or Jack and everything he did?

"I wish you'd have tried harder to hide me." I mumbled, "I wish you would have kept me."

"Me too." He admitted, "I really do, but.. As it was, I faced either a really long prison sentence if I didn't sign away my rights." That wasn't something I knew before. I looked up, surprised.

"What?" I asked.

"That.." He sighed, "Was Jack's doing. He at least gave me a heads up about what his lawyer was about to do, and told me if I didn't agree, I'd head to prison for quite some time over what I'd done."

"So you weren't told to stay away from me?" I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this, "You did it on your own?"

"Definitely not." He replied instantly, "I would have done, given anything to be able to stay with you, but I wasn't much use to you in prison, was I? I didn't know I'd completely lose you in the process until it was too late." Oh. Well, that was something else. I didn't need to get mad at him.

"Wow." Well, this would take a lot of thinking over. I decided to get back onto the subject. I didn't want it coming up again, so I knew I needed to put it to rest.

"But anyway." I sighed, "Carlisle doesn't even know it all. He barely knows anything, and the others know less than he does. I won't tell them either."

He caught on.

"Well, we could just start simple." He suggested, "Just tell me what you've told them so far."

"I don't know about that." I mumbled. I reached out, picking up a rod to go with the curtains. He took it from me.

"Please." He said, and I hesitated before looking up, "These are things I should know about you. I want to be here now. Please don't tell me I've lost my chance."

"No." I murmured, "I'm just.. Those things are mine. I don't tell anyone about them for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I don't want to hurt them, but because I don't want anyone else to know what.." I trailed off, looking down. He slowly kneeled in front of me.

"You don't want anyone else to know what?" He asked quietly, and I glanced up. Hesitantly meeting his eyes. In that glance, he seemed to understand, but before he could speak again, I spoke up.

"Can I think about it?" I asked, "About telling you?"

"Of course." He replied, and I nodded a little. That eased the sudden pressure a ton.

"Okay." I muttered, "I'll think about it, but for now.." I shoved another curtain rod at him, "That's for the living room."

He laughed a little, but the sound wasn't completely free of his sadness. I wasn't entirely sure if that sadness was caused by what I had said so far, or by what I refused to say.

"I think we need a cart." His arms were getting full.

"I'll go get one." I offered quietly.

"Okay." He agreed, and I turned. I rounded the aisle, and headed toward the front of the store just as someone else came in. This new guy caught my eye, and I caught his. Maybe it was the way I stopped walking mid-step and stared at him that he found fascinating, but he watched me as closely as I watched him.

He seemed really familiar to me, but I didn't know where from. I never remembered meeting him, but he made me nervous. He'd done absolutely nothing wrong, but he made me nervous. He gave a glance and a smile to the closest cashier, before continuing on his way. His way, however, was right toward me.

I didn't particularly trust him getting anywhere near me, so I turned and crossed the main aisle into one of the aisles on the side. Like that was where I had been going all along.

I looked over as he passed right by the aisle I was in, not even glancing my direction, before rounding into the next aisle over. I sighed, shaking my head at myself. I was getting paranoid. Poor guy just probably needed some dog food, and here I was avoiding him like he wanted to kill me. I was being paranoid.

However, down at the other end of the aisle, he rounded. Joining me in mine. I glanced over at him as he glanced over at me. He offered a small smile, but I wasn't falling for it. If being paranoid meant staying on my toes, I'd take it.

He went back to pretending to be just as interested in the baby diapers as I was in the plastic bottles and pacifiers. I didn't wait to see him choose anything. I decided to give it one more test. I scooted from that aisle to the next one up. Looking over the paper towel selection now.

I wasn't sure what I should do. Run? Or just ignore him? I stayed for a good minute or two, but didn't see him follow me again. Maybe the problem solved itself. Maybe he really was alright, and saw that he was freaking me out.

I decided to just move on. Back to what I was doing before, and I practically ran forward. Grabbed the cart, and jogged back toward where my dad waited. Nearly running into an older woman in my haste. I stopped just in time, and she gave me the dirtiest look. I couldn't blame her.

"Sorry." I mumbled, continuing on.

I found my dad a little further down the curtain aisle, eyeing shower curtains and liners. I was never more relieved to see him. I immediately started to unload his arms, dropping everything in the cart I'd just delivered.

"Hey." He greeted me, "What took so long?"

"I got lost." I dismissed, "Find anything else good?"

"Fish or flowers?" He asked. For the shower curtain.

"Circles." I replied, "Or the stripes. It's easier to pick stuff to go with it."

"Why not the flowers?"

"Because for it to match, you'd have to find flowers that look just like that." I reasoned, "And for the fish, how many different shades of blue are there? It'd be a pain in the butt to match that blue. Get the wrong shade of blue, everyone's gonna notice. For however long you're using that stuff.

"The circles or the stripes have plain colors. Gray, brown, and white. You could pick brown, or you could pick gray, and it's not that hard to match those. You could even change which color you matched later on. Like you choose brown today, but Rachel wants gray or white. That stuff matters."

"Man, I'm glad you're here." I laughed a little at his honesty, watching him choose the striped curtain.

"Wouldn't Alice be proud?" I asked and it was his turn to laugh. I felt better now that I was with him. I had an afterthought, "But I wouldn't pick the brown."

"Why not?"

"Because that brown doesn't match the brown of the bathroom counter, and if you pile on a bunch of dark brown stuff, it won't match the light brown of the counter."

He huffed a laugh, "Oh, geez."

"Just pick the white." I said, "Or gray. Gray would be good too. It's not as hard to deal with as white, and Rachel wouldn't be washing the rug and seat cover every five minutes."

"Okay." He said, "Point taken."

"Plus.." I muttered, "The white stuff is fluffier, but the gray stuff's cheaper."

"Gray wins." He chuckled, tossing the new stuff into the cart.

"You could surprise her when she comes." I pointed out, picking up and looking over the new shower curtain, "I think she'll be glad to know she doesn't have to pick out this stuff instead of getting to sit around and relax."

"My thoughts exactly." He replied, placing his arm around me in a light side hug, "Thank you, kiddo."

"You're welcome." I smiled a little.

As we were buying all this stuff, I watched as the guy that seemed to be following me earlier left the store. Not buying anything, but striding from the store. His phone out. As if he suddenly got a call, and had to leave. Perfectly normal explanation, but I knew better.

Well, at least he left. I watched after him for quite some time. Even though I couldn't see him anymore, I needed to watch. Just to make sure he didn't come back in.

"Leandra?" My dad noticed my distraction, "You okay?"

"Yeah." I replied, looking up at him, "Just thinking." Should I tell him or not? Hadn't he been through enough? I didn't want to worry him. Especially if it turned out to be nothing.

"Where do you want to eat after this?" He asked, and I took a breath. Trying to shake away my nervousness. I wasn't very hungry.

"Not sure." I said, "You pick."

He chuckled, gathering the last of his bags. My stomach tumbling in nervousness, I followed, sticking close to his side. Constantly watching around us as we headed for the door.

Once outside, I kept close watch around us, letting him lead the way. We were almost there, but I immediately looked forward at his quiet curse word once we reached his car.

"What?"

"Well, kids around here aren't quite as tame as I remember." He sighed, gesturing to his car. I followed his gaze down, finding two flat rear tires. Well, wasn't that deliberate? Even I could see that. That just made me even more nervous. I didn't like this.

"I only have one spare." My dad explained the dilemma.

"There's a tire place right up the street." I offered quietly, and that seemed to help. He nodded a little, and turned to place the bags in the trunk.

I jumped a little as the car beside us suddenly started, and with me focused on that, I didn't have enough reaction to spare to the back door opening. I yelped as the guy from inside the store reached for me from inside the back seat, managing a firm grip on my arm. He tugged me toward him. I stumbled, nearly falling right into his other hand.

Thankfully, my dad had enough reaction to spare for the both of us. I didn't even have time to start fighting before he had turned, reaching out. He grabbed a hold of the guy's shirt, and with this guy off balance in mid-grabbing me, my dad managed to yank him out of the car and to the ground behind his car. Getting me released in the process.

I jumped back, finding safety against the other side of his car, trying to slow my suddenly achingly pounding heart as I listened to the sound of my dad delivering the punishment for trying to steal his daughter.

I tried to ignore the angry sound of my dad's voice and the intensely angry curse words he growled. Watching him beating on another man was something I just couldn't look away from. My dad wasn't weak in the slightest, and seeing him prove it was so odd for me. He was such a nice person, but watching this, nobody would know it.

The car I was just nearly pulled into backed out quickly. The driver leaving their friend behind, and speeding away. Only to misjudge their aim in their undoubted panic, and hit a pole. Barely missing the older woman I nearly ran into in the store.

The chaos was short lived, but very hard to keep track of. My dad looked to me from where he kneeled on this guy's neck, and I met his eyes with tear-filled ones of my own.

"Leandra." My dad was having a tough time beating on this guy and looking to me at the same time, "Get in the car, and lock yourself in. Don't open the door."

He awkwardly tossed me the keys. I was shaking too bad to catch them, and they landed on the pavement. Him giving the only instruction in my intense panic, I did exactly as he told me to do.

I reached down, picking them up with trembling fingers, "The black one." Thankfully, there was only one key with black on the top. It took two tries before I managed to unlock the door and scramble in, locking all the doors behind me.

I jumped into the back seat the second I could. The passenger seat didn't seem safe enough for my taste, and back there was where I started to cry.

I looked out the window just in time to see my dad issue a rather violent finalizing punch to the other guy's head. Knocking him out instantly, and making his job a lot easier.

Not only was there blood all over this guys face, but all over my dad's hand. He wasn't playing around.

I watched him stand up, since the man on the ground wasn't going anywhere after a thorough beating like that, but my dad needed more leverage with which to kick the other guy in the face. I would have told him to stop, but I really couldn't speak at that point. Lifelessly, the guy rolled to his back, laying there limp.

Satisfied, my dad spoke on the phone for just about a minute or two, until he pulled his phone back and dialed another number. I curled into a ball, struggling to calm down after panicking so intensely in such a short amount of time. Piecing together what happened.

Those guys were hired by Jack. They had to be. They tried to be quick in grabbing me to avoid giving me a chance to fight, not anticipating my dad being quicker. Only seconds passed while all that took place, and if he'd been just a few seconds slower to react, who knew what would have happened.

I barely glanced up as the cops arrived, along with an ambulance. Probably for the driver with the front of his car wrapped around a pole. One cop took over securing the still unconscious guy on the ground, while my dad spoke to the other one.

The guy was hauled off, carried over to the back of the ambulance waiting. He definitely looked like he needed some sort of medical attention, what with getting beaten within an inch of his life.

The older woman stayed around, thankfully, as she was a witness. I was relieved, because without her telling them what she saw, my dad might have gotten into trouble.

Carlisle arrived just a short while later, and I understood who the second call had been to. To my surprise, Emmett had come along with him. Parking his jeep in the empty space beside us.

"Where is she?" I heard Carlisle ask.

"She's in there." My dad answered, "She's pretty shaken up."

"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked him, gesturing to his bloodied hand.

"Yeah." My dad replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I watched Carlisle round the car, and I didn't waste any time pulling up on the door lock and opening it. Hugging his neck the second I could. He sighed and lifted me out. Holding me in his arms, which I didn't mind in the slightest. Being held this way, I wasn't the only target. Anyone else would literally have to go through Carlisle to get to me. Which wasn't happening.

This time, I didn't have to answer any of the cops questions, which relieved me. My concern over him must have been enough. I looked to my dad, noticing what he didn't.

"You're hurt." I whimpered, looking at his already bruising hand. He briefly looked it over as well, shaking his head.

"I'm fine." He insisted instantly, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine." I mumbled, "Thank you. For stopping them."

Handing me off to Emmett, Carlisle insisted on taking a look at my dad's hand. Despite refusing, he was too worked up to really protest. He was still so pissed off, he didn't even feel how bad it obviously was.

Carlisle sighed, "I don't have what I need to brace a broken hand with me, which I'm fairly sure it is, but if you'd come with me to the hospital, I can take care of it there."

"No." My dad said, "No, I'll be alright."

"At least wrap it." He suggested, "Here." He turned back to his car, opening the trunk. He dug around for a moment before he found what he wanted. A bottle of water, and an ace bandage.

I was allowed to sit there in Emmett's arm, watching my dad use the bottle of water to rinse away the other guy's blood, revealing just how bruised his knuckles and fingers were. The bruising spreading down, over the back of his hand. He'd obviously used a lot of force to beat the hell out of that guy.

His hand was wrapped tightly, and that was about all he was willing to put up with for right then.

"I'll see you at the house." My dad told me, stroking the side of my head with his left hand. I nodded, hoping he actually showed up. I worried about him.

Carlisle was allowed to take me home, with my dad promising to be along as soon as he could. Emmett stayed behind to give him a ride to the tire shop, which I appreciated probably just as much as my dad did. With my dad protected now, I could start to calm down on the way home.

"He was so mad." I murmured, emotion in my tone, "I've never seen him so mad before."

"I can't say that I blame him much." Carlisle replied, "You're his daughter. One of the most precious things in this world to him. You may not understand this, Leandra, but even though he wasn't able to be there while you were growing up, he'd still stop at nothing to protect you. To know someone, anyone was trying to take you, that instinct to protect was triggered. He wasn't angry, Leandra. It's human nature to protect children in general, much less their own offspring."

"Me especially, right?" I asked quietly, looking over at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well.." I sniffled a little, "Heather said that I make people want to protect me. Without even trying. Anyone who knows what I went through."

"I'd say that's true." He sighed, "It's a bit difficult to explain. To know someone hurt you so much, it's so against human nature that those who respond to that nature want to do their part to both keep it from happening again and punish the one responsible."

"And money takes that away." I mumbled.

"In some cases, yes." He nodded a little, "Unfortunately."

"Too bad I can't just pay someone to track down Jack the way he's paying people to track me down." Taking a deep breath, I calmed down a little more. He stayed quiet, and I couldn't blame him. It had to be hard on him to know how close I'd come to being stolen yet again.

I didn't even have a chance to take a step from the car before Esme was hugging me. Instead of letting myself be startled, I hugged her back. A left over sob escaping before I could stop it.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, pulling back to look me over briefly.

"I'm fine." I answered shakily, "He saved me. He kept them from taking me." She sighed, hugging me again.

"I want to know how they knew she was there." Esme muttered, and I knew that was to Carlisle. I hadn't even thought about that. How _did_ they know I was there?

"I've been thinking about that." Carlisle replied, "I have a few theories."

I walked with Esme's arm around me into the house. More than eager to get back to safety, I let her lead me inside. Once again, it had been a close one. Not as close as it had been with Ms. Parker, but still. Too close for my comfort.

I found Jasper and Alice both in the living room. Jasper stood, arms crossed and very tense. Alice sat on the couch, but the second I saw Alice, I remembered. I remembered something I didn't know I knew, but was important all the same.

"It was him." I blurted before either of them could ask if I was okay.

That seemed to surprise Alice, "What?"

"The guy I kept seeing." I said, "It was him. The one at the store. I didn't notice it at first, but it was him."

Her sudden excited squeal and her jumping up startled me into jumping a little. She was suddenly beside me. Yanking me from Esme, and hugging me tightly.

"I get why you're happy," I mumbled against her side, "But you're squeezing too tight." She released me, stepping back with a grin. I took a breath.

"She actually saw something." Alice explained to those confused, "It was probably very vague, hardly there. Probably a mix of real and vision," I nodded a little, confirming that, "But she recognized him."

"So I'm not crazy." I added.

"Not in the least." Alice replied. Laughing excitedly again, she hugged me once more. I didn't mind her excitement. It made me feel a little better about this horrible afternoon.

"So wait." She said, suddenly pulling back, "Do you remember everything yet? From the first vision you recognized us from?"

"Not yet." I shook my head a little, "Then again, I'm kind of afraid to look."

"That's okay." She smiled, "That'll come when it comes."

I was still very shaken up, though. I needed to sit down. Even Alice's excitement couldn't help that.

I stepped around her, her smile faded and softened in understanding. Instead of sitting comfortably, I sat on the edge of the couch. Keeping my eyes down, I couldn't sit comfortably. I didn't know whether to be amazed, or afraid.

"I've never seen my dad act like that." I mumbled, shaking my head a little, "I-I mean, I know why he did it, but.. I-I don't know."

"I'm sure he would have acted like that by now if he'd had the chance." Alice offered, probably in hopes it would make me feel better. I stayed quiet, though. Only glancing up at her. I wasn't sure what my expression told her, but her expression softened even more, so I looked back down.

"Honey," Esme spoke, "Would you like some water or anything?"

"I can get it." I muttered, "In a minute." She didn't reply, only turning and leaving the room. I knew she was getting it for me anyway.

It was with that glass of water that I realized how bad I was trembling. Shivering, like I was cold, but I didn't feel it. I wasn't crying anymore, but the trembling wouldn't stop. Esme sat with me, helping to keep the glass of water steady enough to let me get a sip or two.

She sighed, looking up, "She can't keep going through this. This is ridiculous. She can't even leave the house." She was upset. I didn't bother trying to apologize this time. They knew how sorry I was.

"Carlisle," Alice spoke, "What are your theories? How did Jack know she'd be there?"

"I'd like to wait until Chris gets here." He said, "I'd like to confirm with him." Confirm? Confirm what? I frowned a little in confusion, but didn't ask either. This must have been why Emmett said they looked to him. He had an idea, and I had no clue.

So we were forced to wait. I knew Emmett was with him, so how long it was taking wasn't as much of a worry as it would have been had he not been. I couldn't stop thinking about the way he sounded. It was stuck, imprinted in my mind. I wasn't exactly afraid of my dad, but that hadn't been something easy to watch. To know he was capable of that, whatever the reason, was hard to come to terms with.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, though, they both finally showed up. I hadn't moved, and all I could really do was look up as my dad followed Emmett into the house. Instantly, my dad came to my side. He sat beside me, and wrapped his arms around me with a heavy sigh.

I hadn't really thought about what it would be like to be hugged by him yet after seeing what I'd seen, but he smashed that worry by not even giving me a chance to worry about it. It was a relieved hug, and I felt him breathe in that hug. Like he'd been on edge the entire time he was gone. Waiting to see me again before calming down. Once again, I could relate to that, so I understood.

"Are you okay?" He asked me yet again, pulling back and looking at me, "I'm sorry. I wish you hadn't seen that, but.. I couldn't help myself."

"He wrecked that guy." Emmett chuckled.

"I'm not proud of it." My dad told him, shaking his head, "I'm usually a pretty nonviolent guy, but I.. I guess I just lost it. I snapped."

"It's okay." I mumbled, "I know it's not the same, but I get it. Especially so soon after what happened to Lily."

He hugged me again, "I'm sorry." This time, I returned his hug, knowing he needed that. Just to know I didn't hate him for what he'd done. He must have known how bad it'd bothered me to see that.

"I'm all for violence if it means you're protecting her." Emmett said, "That fucker got what was coming to him. He's going to be in the hospital for awhile."

I couldn't help the small laugh, looking over at him. I should have known Emmett would approve.

"Someone tries to steal shorty?" Emmett asked, "That's automatically grounds for an ass beating. Anyone hurts her, touches her, looks at her wrong.. Makes her cry, makes her sad, makes her unhappy, that's grounds for an ass beating."

"Okay." I mumbled, "You don't have to keep sucking up."

"I only speak the truth." He replied.

"I'm not mad at you anymore." I sighed, "It'd be stupid to still be mad after today." Which was true. It'd been close. I didn't want to waste time being mad at him for something I was guilty of doing on multiple occasions when I could have disappeared today.

"Chris," Carlisle spoke up, as if reminded, "May I see your cell phone?"

"Of course." My dad replied, reaching into his pocket. He handed it over easily, "What are you thinking?"

"Most cell phones," He started, opening it, "Are equipped with a way to track them. Giving practically anyone with the knowledge how a way to find someone's exact location based on where that signal is coming from. It's used for a lot of emergency purposes, or otherwise."

"You don't think.." My dad muttered, suspicious. I understood as well before Carlisle spoke again.

"Jack traced your phone." He concluded, "Knowing you were no longer in Idaho, and that if you were this close to Leandra, there was a very good chance she'd be with you. That's how he knew where she was, and sent someone there on the off chance they'd find her unprotected." He handed the phone back to him, "I highly suggest changing your number. Or switching carriers, or phones. Prepaid won't do as much good in a town this small, but it's worth it if only to throw him off for awhile."

My dad nodded instantly.

"Call your wife." Carlisle suggested, "Not only to let her know to do the same, but if he knows you're here, I worry for her safety."

"My brother is with her." My dad replied, "I didn't trust leaving her on her own. Not nearly eight months pregnant." He sighed, "But I will give her a call." He stood up with a quiet, "Excuse me."

I watched as he turned, heading for the porch. It was like he didn't even notice the way his hand was injured. Under the light wrapping, even from where I sat, I could see it was bruised badly. Worse than it had been when I first saw it.

I felt tired, and I was reminded of the day of Ms. Parker's visit. Like once things started to slow down, they slowed down too much. I didn't know if it was supposed to be like that, but it was how I felt.

I closed my eyes in the silence that followed, just resting them. I lightly hugged my knees, mostly as a way to be comfortable, and laid my head to the side. Against the armrest.

"This can't keep happening." Carlisle finally said, "It's got to stop." I left my eyes closed, just trying to calm down without calming down too much. Trying to calm down without slipping too much. To go from that amount of panic to suddenly safe again was getting harder to deal with.

Sitting there for several moments, just breathing. I had a feeling Jasper was helping in the whole calming down part, but I didn't complain in case I was wrong again. This could be my own doing, too.

I jumped a little as my dad came back inside.

"They're okay." He sighed, "My brother moved them, so they're not at the house anymore. I guess someone was sniffing around the house this morning that shouldn't have been. She's already well ahead of us, Carlisle. I had to call my brother to get a hold of them."

"They just keep coming, don't they?" I mumbled, finally leaning back.

"She says to tell you to hang in there." He told me, "Stay safe."

"Thanks." I sighed.

"See," Jasper spoke up, "How are we supposed to find someone who never shows up to do his own work?" He was obviously stuck on that.

"You don't." I replied, "That's the whole point. He doesn't want you to find him." I shrugged a little, "I could play bait."

"Here we go." Alice sighed, "Didn't I tell you this was coming?"

"Absolutely not, Leandra." Carlisle said, "You won't be placed in danger like that."

"It'd be easy." I pressed, "Just let whoever he hires grab me, and follow them to find out where they're going. That's how you find them."

"No." My dad said, "That's not happening." He obviously didn't understand, which was a good thing, considering I just let something slip that I shouldn't have. He continued, "It'd be really easy to lose you that way. Too easy."

I sighed, "But-"

"No." Carlisle put a stop to that right in its tracks.

"Then this is going to keep happening." I muttered, "Simple."

"We'll find them some other way." Emmett spoke up, "But we told you you're not going anywhere near them, and we meant it."

"But if it's to catch them-"

"No." He repeated Carlisle's word, and I sighed again. Shrugging a little.

I looked over as Carlisle's phone rang.

"That's him." I said as he pulled his phone out, "He's mad because they're not bringing me to him." He hesitated, "Just answer it. I'm getting used to this by now."

He turned away instead, answering it. He didn't even get a full answering greeting out before he was falling quiet. Emmett stood up, and I had no doubt he was hearing everything, but couldn't react to it with my dad standing right there.

"I apologize." Carlisle spoke, "But she's not here." He paused, listening to a reply, "After the incident at the store, I thought she should be somewhere safe. I suggest you get to looking for her. It might be awhile before you find her."

With that, he hung up. Surprised, I watched him turn around.

"He's looking for attention." Carlisle told us, "And I refuse to give it to him. Without it, it hardly gives him a reason. He wants to intimidate, but it's not working."

"That's just going to make him mad."

"Frankly, I don't care." Carlisle replied, "The angrier he gets, the less he thinks."

"When he misses one step, it'll be because he's too pissed to be careful." Emmett added, "And he needs to miss that step."

I looked over as Rosalie descended the stairs, and I suddenly worried. If she was here, and everyone else was here, who was watching Alyssa? Who was protecting her?

"Carlisle." I whimpered, looking to him again. There was something I wanted to say, but I couldn't say it, because my dad was sitting right there, but he solved that himself, oddly enough.

"I have to go back." My dad spoke up, and I looked to him, "I can't stand not having them here."

"Now?" I asked, "Have you slept yet?"

"It's not that long of a drive." He assured me, but I knew enough to know that it was a long distance between here and where he lived in Idaho. A really long distance, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from getting back to his family after what happened today. It was dangerous to stay split up. If there was one thing I learned today, it was that he was really protective of his family when given the chance to be.

"I suggest leaving your phone here." Carlisle told him, "Purchase a prepaid phone for emergencies only, and to contact home on your way there." My dad nodded a little, sitting beside me again and giving me a hug.

"No playing bait." He told me, "Your safety is the most important thing in the world to me, okay? To everyone."

"Okay."

"I mean it." He pressed.

"Fine." I sighed, "I won't. Just be careful."

"I will." He replied, pulling back and cupping my chin gently, "You too. I'll be back. Two days. Three at the most. Just long enough to pack some essentials." I nodded a little, "I'll call periodically. Just so I know you're not worrying yourself to death." I nodded again, sighing.

I watched as he stood, giving his goodbye to everyone else and setting up designated times to call. Emmett offered to go with him, but he declined this time. This was something he needed to do.

With a brief kiss to the top of my head, he left.

"Who's watching Alyssa?" I asked, standing up the second my dad was in his car.

"It'll be awhile before anyone decides to come anywhere near her." Rosalie told me, "I ripped the last guy apart."

"Was that necessary to say?" Esme asked her with a sigh.

"It's the truth." Rosalie replied, "With as many cops as there are bound to be just around the corner, I doubt anyone would risk it."

I sat there for a moment, just thinking about that. Oddly, that seemed to cheer me up. That should have been worrying, but I refused to let it be.

"You really ripped him apart?" I asked, curious.

"It wasn't very pretty." She answered, "Let's just say that I made an example of him." I couldn't help it. I laughed a little.

"That's awesome."

"Oh, geez." Alice turned, leaving the room. For the first time, since I've ever possibly known her, Rosalie smiled at me. She smiled at me, without the cause being that I'd hit my head.

"I thought so." Rosalie agreed with me, "It's just a shame Carlisle won't leave me in charge of protecting you here. Nobody would dare take him up on another offer."

Somehow, knowing she was capable of the necessary violence required of 'making an example' made everything easier to handle. I had to admit. At least my dad wasn't that violent. He at least left the guy alive. Sort of.

I smiled a little, "You'd probably have closed that guy's head in the car door."

She smiled again, oddly sweetly, "Until decapitation."

I was starting to like her.

**A/N: Me too. :) I still find it funny when things are said/typed that I don't expect.  
THANK YOU! For those BEAUTIFUL reviews left for my reading happiness! :D THANK YOU!  
THANK YOU!  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It wasn't easy. :) But well worth it for some new content into this series. Didn't I mention I'd be making up for the lack of new content in the last story? I still amaze myself.  
I'm hoping to get at least one more chapter of 'before' before we get rolling on the whole storyline of Eclipse. I've been throwing some stuff in there now and then, and hopefully, it's stuck out as a marker of where we are.  
Chapter four won't be long. :) About as long as this one took, maybe a day or two longer, so you can look forward to that.  
Until Four, my friends! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I took the rest of the day, but I definitely had a lot to think about the following morning. After a really horrible night's sleep, I was up before dawn. Sitting there next to Emmett, in my usual place, not paying much attention to much of anything but my own thoughts.

Most of those thoughts involved my dad, and it wasn't just the fact that he was in the middle of trying to keep his family out of trouble. With him moving back, there were things I had to think about, and things I had to worry about.

I couldn't afford to be unruly anymore. If I got too much on their nerves, it would be really, really easy for them to dump me on him. I really didn't want that, but if they chose to do so, I would have no say in it. I could always just run away, but that would only get me so far before I was caught or sent back. How many times had they proven to have a lot more persistence than I did?

I didn't want my dad to become a new option. It was fine spending time with him. Hell, I was okay with that, but if they decided to push me at him any more, I'd develop a problem real quick, and that really got me thinking hard about the whole thing.

Maybe that was why I refused to trust him as much as I trusted my family. It wasn't that I didn't want to trust him, but I couldn't let him become an option. Trusting him was a step in the wrong direction for me.

Yeah, he'd proven he could protect me, but that could have easily just been luck. If they chose to give me to him to take care of, that would be it for me. That brought me to the second subject I had to face. I also had to think about how close it'd come yet again. For more than just the obvious reasons, which was two subjects in itself.

Not only did I have to worry about exactly how close it'd come, but I also had to think about the facts surrounding that whole incident.

Seeing that guy before I actually encountered him was a really hard thing to come to terms with. It was even a little tough to remember what that half-vision had looked like, so I wouldn't know what to look for again.

And now, I still had to doubt my own eyes. I didn't like doubting myself that way. I hated it, actually. What if it happened again? It hadn't yet, but I still had that worry. Would anything I see really be real? I knew I was putting way too much thought into it, but seeing that guy really made me wonder. It had been so real. So hard to tell. Had I not gone with my dad that day, I never would have figured out what that had been. That was scary.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Emmett asked from beside me. I sighed, shaking my head. Setting those thoughts aside in the few seconds of silence before I could answer.

"Huh?" I asked, looking over at him. Truthfully, it took me a moment to figure out what he'd asked. Stuck so far in my thoughts, it was hard to focus on anything else. Like trying to remember that life existed outside my head. That feeling was always so hard to shake. It always had been for me, but so much harder now.

"I asked," He spoke again, "What are you thinking about so hard?"

"Nothing." I replied. He knew that was a huge lie, but I wouldn't go into it without a solid need to do so.

"Relax." He assured me anyway, "Rose went back last night." That was a whole other worry I had to focus on, but I chose not to right then. I couldn't afford the space needed in my head.

I was overwhelmed, and could only focus so much on a few things at a time. Currently, my situation here seemed so much more important, as selfish as it was of me to realize that.

"I'm not worried about that." I muttered, "If she's not worried, I shouldn't be either, right?" He looked over at me.

"Who are you, and what have you done with shorty?" He asked, "You feeling okay? Are you sick?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning.

"The entire time I've known you, shorty, all you've ever done is worry about every little thing worth worrying about." He explained, "Even things not worth worrying about. It was your thing."

I shrugged a little, "I've got a lot to think about without worrying about her too. I mean, yeah. I'm worried, but I'm not going to freak out about it. Maybe I'm still numb from yesterday." The attempt at the store.

"Numb?"

"It happens for a little while after something like that happens." I explained, "Like.. I'm afraid that if I let myself be afraid, I'll never stop being afraid, so I try to not let myself feel anything. Last time, it was what helped keep me awake for so long."

"Don't tell me you're-"

"No." I immediately said, "I'm not going to make myself stay awake like that again. As much as I can help, anyway. Don't worry about that. I know eventually, it'll just freak everybody out, and I don't want to fight with anyone." Which led me back to the first thing to worry about. The option they probably already knew about.

"Good." He seemed to believe me, "Because you don't need to be doing that." I nodded a little, looking down, "So what were you thinking about?"

"Puppies." I replied, sighing as I stood up.

I was intending to escape before he pried any further, but I didn't get to move. Surprised, I looked over as Edward stepped into the house. Immediately, I knew I had to block my thoughts as much as I could.

"Puppies," I repeated to myself, "Puppies, puppies." I forced my thoughts in the direction of puppies. Thankfully, Edward found that amusing, instead of offensive.

"Yeah, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "That wasn't obvious."

"Hi, Edward." I sighed. I didn't want him to think it was anything personal. I knew he'd been around some recently, but I hadn't had too much time around him.

"Good morning, Leandra." He replied, letting me know he truly hadn't taken offense, "And I heard your thoughts quite a distance away. There's no need to think about puppies."

"Dammit." I sighed, but that was a relief. It was hard to force my thoughts in any one direction. My thoughts were just something I couldn't control very easily.

"I know I don't have to remind you that I won't betray those thoughts to anyone if you don't want me to." He said, "But I can tell you that those worries aren't needed."

"They're not?"

"No." He replied, "They're not. Carlisle would never do that to you. Not only would that go against everything he's been trying for, it would completely ruin any sense of trust you've hesitantly begun to practice. The risks far outweigh any sort of benefit you've invented." I believed him. He had a good point, so I nodded.

"I won't even bother asking." Emmett spoke up, "Nobody would tell me anyway."

"Puppies." I repeated, looking over at him.

"Mix it up a little." Emmett suggested, "Think about kittens."

"Cats suck." I shook my head, "They hate me, remember?"

"As for the other worry you have," Edward spoke up again, "I'd talk with Alice. She can help you more than anyone." Meaning, about seeing the guy.

"I wouldn't even know what to talk to her about." I replied, "That's the problem."

"It wouldn't hurt to try." He pointed out.

"Maybe." I sighed, unconvinced.

"I wouldn't worry about it." He assured me, and oddly, that helped. A little bit, but it helped. It was probably because he knew what he was talking about when it came to the family, having proved it by now.

"For just five minutes, I want that gift, Eddy." Emmett admitted.

"Believe me when I say that without adjustment, my ability would drive you insane." Edward replied simply, "Many times, you hear things you don't want to hear."

I couldn't help smiling a little. I was, no doubt, a lot of the reason behind that.

"To get driven insane," I said, "Someone would have to be sane first."

"Ouch." Emmett laughed, looking over at me, "Ow."

"There has to be a reason you get along with me so well." I shrugged a little, sitting back down, "And I know I'm not very sane."

"You're just as sane as I am." Emmett replied.

"Then I'm doomed." I smiled a little, hoping he knew I was joking.

"I guess you are." He chuckled.

I looked over as Carlisle descended the stairs. Edward must have been waiting for him. Both he and Carlisle stepped away, away from where I could hear them talk quietly, and though I watched them, I wasn't trying to listen in. I just watched. I knew, though, that until I saw for myself that Carlisle wouldn't be giving me to my dad I'd be worried about that.

The only problem was, I didn't know how to do that. Carlisle was always so busy these days, and I didn't want to get in the way more than I had been.

To be honest with myself, there was more than one reason that I didn't want him to give me away. I might have been afraid to trust him, even after everything, but that didn't stop me from wanting to.

It really wasn't that I didn't want to believe him, or look up to him. I wanted to, and though he'd given me no reason not to, it was hard. It would take a lot longer than a year to get me passed that reluctance, and I was just beginning to see that.

I watched him, and really began to see how worried Carlisle seemed to be. It was worry. Concern, concentration. He obviously had so much on his mind, and really for the first time since we got back from New York, I started noticing things again. I'd been so stuck in my own worries, I'd been refusing to see how much this was affecting everyone else too. Carlisle most, just as Emmett had told me.

How much stress would Carlisle choose to put himself under because of me? How much more could he take? I knew they had a lot higher tolerance for stress than a human, any human would, but just how high was that tolerance? How much was he willing to go through?

Carlisle had been one of the ones that tried the most for me. More than anyone else in my life. Even more than Alice, and I knew this worry I had about him giving me away was one of the biggest fears I ever had. More than Jack, more than Ken, more than anything else. Him giving me away would be him giving up on me, and if that ever happened, I didn't know what I'd do.

Carlisle wasn't stupid. Far from it. He knew how much this whole situation was weighing me down. He knew what it was doing to me. He knew, which was why I wasn't being told much of anything regarding it. No amount of pushing it, insisting or demanding would change that.

He was trying so hard to keep me from knowing too much, more than I should because he did know. Carlisle, along with everyone else, thought that keeping those details from me was the only way to stand between Jack and me.

They weren't keeping things from me to be cruel. They were keeping things from me to protect me as much as they could. I had to hand it to them. They were determined to do so, even through as much of a pain as I had been lately.

The only question I had now, was how was I supposed to just sit back and let them do this? I'd never really been one worth protecting, so how was I supposed to know how to just let them protect me?

That was a real problem for me, because none of them, least of all Carlisle, had done anything to deserve knowing what kind of person Jack was. Much less standing in the way of him and I. Keeping me from him at all costs. They didn't deserve that kind of punishment for something I'd done a year before. I made the decision to drag them all into this. Not them. Now they were taking the punishment? Facing the consequences? How was that fair?

Their tolerance might be higher, but Jack wasn't easy for anyone to know. The stress and the tension was proof enough of that.

Edward finally looking over at me made Carlisle do the same, and I immediately looked down. I didn't even try to hide my thoughts anymore. It wouldn't do any good anyway, and hell. If one person understood the way I thought now, maybe it'd be easier for everyone else to figure me out. Just like during Christmas.

My thoughts were a lot more active now than they were then. More active and less tired, despite how tired I was physically, and I could only imagine how much more difficult it was for Edward to keep up.

"Not at all." Edward spoke up, loud enough for me to hear, and I looked up, "It's actually very fascinating. The way you think, though understandable, is very fascinating." I couldn't help smiling a little, "I've heard a lot of thoughts in my lifetime, but yours are a whole different story. As many thoughts as I've had the privilege of hearing from you, I never cease to be amazed."

That was saying a lot, and I knew that. Even with all he'd heard already, he wasn't bored of me yet.

"Far from it." He replied, and I smiled again.

But that didn't stop me from worrying about everything.

Needless to say, I was pretty reluctant to push my luck. Over the following week, I did my best to sleep, ate as much as I could. Kept the emotions and questions to a minimum, stayed manageable. Whatever I could do to keep Carlisle from changing his mind.

Days passed, that week going by seemingly so fast. A constant routine of sleeplessness, worry and observing.

As promised, my dad had gotten back right on time. He got back to Idaho, and took a day to rest before coming back here with both Rachel and Lily. I knew he was worried I'd be upset with him for running back to them so soon, but after what happened at the store, how could I be? He definitely had reason to worry about them as they were as much his family as I was. Even more than I was, because I hadn't known him that long.

So far, I could tell that I was just beginning to learn how to be more understanding. Without even trying. Where I would have been upset the year before, it was easy now to think about what someone else might be feeling, versus only thinking about what I wanted. Especially after my observation of Carlisle the week before.

As it turned out, Rachel and Lily were just fine.

The baby was still in place, so the stress hadn't made her come early so far. Since she had about three weeks to go, that was a good thing, but as far as I could tell, that baby was smart. I wouldn't want to be born yet, either. I would have stayed hidden away as long as I could, too. Even if it was just a baby, and really didn't know how to think for itself.

My dad, Rachel and Lily all stayed in a hotel until their apartment was ready to move into, which happened two days after they got back to town. I saw my dad once on the day he got back, but hadn't seen him since they'd moved in, and I had yet to see Rachel or Lily.

Oddly, I felt better with them nearby, despite the worries. I was positive Jasper did as well, since it took him all of twenty seconds for him to get from where they were now back home. Much easier to keep an eye on, and he was close by in case he needed to calm me down again.

Being manageable or not, less than a week had passed since the kidnapping attempt at the store, and it was tough. I knew with my dad so close, though, I couldn't just stop living again. It'd really kill him to see me that way when he couldn't do anything about it, and I was a little stuck. Stuck in place, between wanting to just roll over and give up, and forced to keep moving. No doubt another plus to everyone but me.

My dreams had yet to get better, though I tried. I really did try. Constantly putting myself through the pain of seeing those things each night in an effort to prove my cooperation, but it was hard. Very hard on me to keep it up without wanting to hit my head against the wall, but I'd just think about the alternative. The possible outcome of being difficult, and I'd go through it all again the next night.

I was particularly irritable this morning, after such a horrible night's sleep the night before. I knew it showed in my expression, even without talking. It was getting to the point where whether or not Jack was caught would ever make a difference. I'd never learn how to relax, or believe I was okay. I was now waking up sick every morning, slowly being driven crazy by all of this suffocating pressure, and I'd never say anything, but I knew this wasn't good.

How much longer did I have here? How long until one of Jack's attempts worked? How long until he figured out a way around it?

The longer I put it off, the worse it was getting for me. I was beginning to figure out just how true that was and just what that meant. Not only whatever punishment he had planned, but it was getting harder to deal with. The longer I put it off, the worse the pressure on me got.

This morning especially.

"Ugh." I grumbled, "I hate the way I feel after first waking up." I shuffled into the living room, rubbing my eyes and trying to wake them up. I hated the puffy and fuzzy feeling I had after just waking up after an emotional night.

"Wake up faster." Alice told me. I scowled a little at her.

"Why?" I grumbled. I also didn't appreciate being rushed after just waking up. That was grounds for a very cranky me all day. Not as bad as if they'd woken me up themselves, but it still wasn't pretty.

"Your sister is coming over."

"Aw." I whined, suddenly recalling the plans made the day before, "Remember what happened the last time I saw her?"

With my dad living in town, Jasper could continue going to school now. Thankfully, it was Saturday, so both he and Alice would be here for this visit from my dad. I was worried about what I'd be tempted to do to her. I didn't want another pillow whacking incident. With my irritability today, I wasn't so sure about this.

"That won't happen." Alice replied, "Now get moving." She shooed me from the couch and I grumbled the entire way to the bathroom to wash my face, in an attempt to wake myself up faster. Get dressed, and to brush my teeth.

I noticed something odd, however, after brushing my teeth. One tooth in particular, my left canine tooth, seemed a little sore at the gum. Giving it a little poke with my finger, I discovered that that tooth was loose. Able to be wiggled back and forth.

When the hell did that happen? It probably still had at least a few days of pushing it around, but it was definitely loose. It was a baby tooth, so I wasn't worried, but it sucked. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling in the world, and I knew I'd have to be careful with biting or eating until it fell out or face even more discomfort.

"Aw, dammit." I muttered to myself, leaning back away from the mirror.

"What's wrong with you?" Emmett chuckled, noticing my pout as I returned to the living room once I was dressed. He was just going to make fun of me. I wasn't exactly pleased by this turn of events. I thought I was done losing teeth two or three years before, but thinking about it, I knew that wasn't true. I hadn't really lost enough to be completely done with it.

I couldn't keep my baby teeth, and I knew that, but oddly, I wanted to. These teeth had survived Jack along with me. Holding on despite his efforts to smack them loose. It was weird to think of it like that, but I couldn't help it.

"Not a word about it." I told him, and he smirked, "Loose tooth."

"Aw!" He immediately grinned, "Which one?" I pointed it out, and he chuckled again, "You're growing up."

"Stop." I glared.

"It's nothing to pout about, shorty." He told me, "It's a good thing to grow up."

"That's not why I'm pouting." I said, "It hurts."

"In that case, you're probably going to be losing quite a few after this one." He replied, "You might as well get used to it."

"Oh yay." I muttered, sighing.

"Just think," He smiled, "After this, you can bite more people with confidence."

"True." I admitted, shrugging a little. I still hated it. It ached.

Then I remembered. I'd promised Alyssa that she could yank my loose tooth if she let me pull hers. That just meant I'd have to go back and visit her. Emmett seemed suspicious of the smile that replaced my frown. Kind of afraid, actually.

"What's the grin for?" He asked.

"I have to go see Alyssa." I told him, "A few months ago, I promised her she could yank my tooth because she let me pull hers."

"Oh." He replied, "That makes sense." I picked up the sarcasm.

"It's true." I argued, "You can even ask her. It's only fair." He chuckled, though. Amused.

"I'll talk to Carlisle." He offered, and I smiled a little again. I would love that, and I didn't exactly see why they'd say no. Emmett, though sometimes a goofball, was as capable of watching me as Alice was. Especially when I had every intention of cooperating when it came to my safety. I was taking no risks.

My dad seemed a little less edgy when he finally arrived, as this was the just the second time I'd seen him since he went back to get Rachel and Lily. Rachel had chosen to stay behind at the apartment, not feeling up to going anywhere after moving just the other day. Choosing to stay in the safety of the apartment, and probably take a little time to unwind with Lily safely gone and out with my dad. Sending her apologies along with him.

I didn't blame her.

Six year old Lily was a bit taller, and quite a bit more chipper than I remembered of five year old Lily. She'd recently lost her own tooth, a top front tooth, which reminded me of what that hole in the teeth looked like and what I looked forward to. It wasn't my front tooth that was loose, though, so it might not be as noticeable. Just a side one.

Oddly, I was okay with Lily being here. Unlike the first time she was here, and I whacked her across the face with a pillow. A lot had changed for me since then. Not to mention the fact that she did seem okay. Just as happy as she was before being taken. Even more so. I watched her behavior closely, and nothing told me anything was off.

With the difference of less than a full year, it was strange to realize I got along better with her. The difference between five and six, she'd became easier to understand. Maybe it wasn't her that had changed much at all. Maybe it was me.

She was excited about the move. Of course, she'd miss her friends, but I had a feeling someone as happy as she was wouldn't have any problems making new ones here. It was so strange to see someone that looked a little like me be so happy.

Though it was mid April, she went on and on about all the stuff she got for Christmas. Typical little girl things. Toys, games, clothes. She was intensely into clothes, unlike most kids on the face of the planet that dreaded getting new clothes for Christmas. I had a feeling Alice just found a new shopping friend.

I just listened, now and then adding a word when what she said required an acknowledgement. Everyone else seemed perfectly fine talking with my dad while leaving me to keep Lily busy. She seemed eager to talk, as there was no doubt with the new baby nearly there, she was getting less and less attention. She found someone willing to actually sit and listen to her rambling about this favorite color, or that stuffed animal.

"You don't talk much, huh?" She finally asked me, her hands on her hips as if in a scold.

"Not really." I replied, "Besides. You're talking enough for both of us."

"I am?"

"You're talking too much."

"Oh." She giggled a little, sitting down next to me, "Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay." I said. I wondered, though, if she would tell me exactly who it had been that she'd been with. Not that I didn't know, but maybe if I could make her confirm it, it'd make it easier on my dad.

"So." I mumbled, "I heard you ran away." Make it seem her fault, so she felt compelled to defend herself.

"No I didn't." It seemed to work, "I didn't run away."

"Then why were you gone for three days?" I countered.

"I was with somebody." She muttered, quieter as she looked down.

"Who?" I asked, and she shrugged a little.

"I dunno."

"Yes you do." I argued, "Don't lie. It's wrong to lie."

"I know _that_." She snapped, "Stupid."

"Don't call me that." I glared at her, which she returned.

"Then don't say I ran away, because that's a lie."

"Then don't run away, and blame it on someone else if you won't say who it was."

"I didn't run away."

"Yes you did." I replied confidently, "You must not love your parents that much, though, if you'd run away." I felt so stupid, sitting here and arguing with a stupid six year old, but I was pretty good at it.

"I do." She argued, outraged, "I do love them."

"Then why'd you run away?"

"I didn't run away!" I was pissing her off, "I said I was with somebody."

"Leandra." Lily's irritated tone had taken the Esme's attention across the room, so I knew everyone else could hear too.

"If you won't say who it was," I argued anyway, "Then you did run away. That's just how it works." She whined and stomped her foot, "I bet your mom cried the whole time you were gone. That's what happens when you run away like that. You're so mean."

"But I didn't-"

"Yes you did." I cut off her denial this time, and she seemed seconds from tears. I couldn't resist making that worse, "You know what happens to kids that run away? Their parents replace them with better kids. They stop loving them and forget all about them. Their parents don't want them anymore. Kids that run away like you did are hardly ever found, you know."

"Stop it." She pouted.

"Most of them are gone forever." I went on, "Most of them die, some are killed by other people, and nobody cares that they're dead because they were bad kids, and ran away. If they run away, they deserve to die. You know what that means, right? It means you deserved to die because you ran away."

She was through listening, standing up and darting along the couch to my dad. He lifted her up onto his lap, his arm around her. She gave me a look, and I returned it. Mine was more effective as I clearly saw a small tear trail down her cheek before she turned her face away. Hiding it briefly in my dad's arm.

I laughed to myself, pleased with my results, but I knew I needed to get better at dealing with kids if she was going to be around.

I was surprised I didn't get scolded for scaring her like that. Esme moved to my side, but didn't say anything about what I'd just said to Lily. My dad was a little puzzled, but didn't ask her about it. Holding her tighter.

"So." My dad spoke up, looking over at me, "What do you think, Leandra?"

"About what?" I asked, "Lily wouldn't shut up long enough for me to listen to anything else." She just whimpered, not bothering to defend herself.

"Meeting your family." He replied, and I blinked in surprise, "They're all going to be in town this weekend, and I thought it'd be a good idea for you to finally meet them." Was he meaning what I thought he was meaning?

"I don't know." I hesitantly murmured, "I don't even know them."

"And I'm asking if you'd like to change that." He chuckled, "I know they'd really love to meet you." As if that'd help make up my mind.

"When you say everyone..?" I asked quietly.

"Everyone." He chuckled, "You actually have a pretty big family on my side."

"Like who?"

"Well," He sighed, "There are my two brothers. Steven, my younger brother, and Richard, my older brother. Richard's wife, Clara, and their two kids. I told you about them, Dominic and Callie. My father, your grandpa. His name is Anthony, by the way." He paused for a chuckle, "You already know me. Along with Lily and Rachel. There's a whole lot to it that you haven't seen yet, Leandra."

"Wow." I muttered, surprised.

"Yeah." He agreed with a smile, "They're all very excited to finally be able to meet you. Trust me."

"You'll be there?" I asked.

"The whole time." He replied, "I promise."

"I guess." I finally agreed, dread in my tone.

"Oh, the enthusiasm." He laughed, "It's alright. I can't blame you for being nervous, but I swear you won't regret meeting them."

I was already regretting meeting them. Apparently, it was going to be this whole big barbecue thing, because there were so many people to feed. I'd already agreed to go, just to meet them, but I was having major doubts. I barely knew my dad, and now I had to meet his whole side of the family? I was related to these people.

I had a week to freak out about it, and I really wasn't sure I wanted to do this.

"That's it." I said the night before, "I'm not going." In my restlessness, I laid on my back on the couch. My feet resting on the back of the couch, watching TV upside down with my head laid off the edge of the cushion. Sitting upright wasn't comfortable right then.

"You've said that three times now." Emmett pointed out, distracted by the news as Jasper looked over from the chair.

"I mean it this time." I muttered.

"What is freaking you out so bad?" Emmett asked, "It's your family."

"I don't have a family." I corrected.

"Well, that's a huge lie." He replied.

"I mean the whole time I was growing up, I didn't have a family." I explained, "I hated my dad growing up, and I know him leaving wasn't his fault now, but nobody wanted me back then. Not my dad, not some family of his. I don't want to meet them, and hate them too for not even bothering to be there either. I might be related to them, but they're definitely not family."

"I'll tell you what." He said, muting the TV when the news segment moved to a commercial, "If you go tomorrow, I'll take you to see Alyssa myself."

"Really?" I asked, sitting up straighter. Bracing myself with my arm as I rolled a little to look at him.

"I know you'll have a good time," He nodded, "And I think it'll be good for you to meet the people you're related to, shorty. I'm comfortable with this agreement."

"You promise?"

"I promise." He nodded again, "What do you say?"

"Fine." I agreed, laying back down, "But you better pay up."

"I always keep my promises, shorty." He replied with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, sighing. I couldn't help feeling suspicious, especially after my last agreement with him, but this seemed doable, but that didn't make me any less nervous.

My dad was set to pick me up at ten, and I'd spend the day with him. Terrified, I paced as I waited for him to get there. What the hell had I agreed to?

"Will you calm down, shorty?" Emmett chuckled, "You're freaking out."

"I don't know these people." I whined, "What if they hate me?"

"They're not going to hate you."

"How do you know?"

"They're not going to-"

"How do you know?" I asked again.

"I just know. Now sit." He tugged me down to sit next to him on the couch. I whined again, really not sure about this, "Take a breath, and you'll be fine."

"I think I might throw up."

"Definitely don't do that."

"I'm scared." I sobbed a laugh. Emmett chuckled as well, patting my head lightly.

"Don't be." He said, "If they're anything like your dad, you've got nothing to worry about. Your dad is a good person."

I really wanted at least one person from my family to be there, but they insisted this was something I needed to do on my own. Not that they wouldn't be there if they felt they needed to be. They trusted my dad, especially after what he prevented just the week before, and they obviously had some sort of faith in the rest of the bunch to protect me.

He'd conveniently chosen to host this little thing at the park in town, probably because his apartment was pretty small. With this nice public place, I felt a little better, but my heart pounded uncomfortably.

Everyone was already there, including Rachel who looked exactly like she'd swallowed a watermelon, but she was smiling.

A younger man had noticed us pull up against the curb outside the park, smiling a little as he headed our way. I considered running away, but my dad stood up from the car like there was nothing in the world wrong.

"So?" This new man asked him as he neared, "Where is she?"

"Where is who?" My dad asked in return, "Oh, shoot. I knew there was something I forgot."

"Oh, come on, Chris." He chuckled, sounding a lot like my dad, "Now that's not very nice." My dad chuckled as well, leaning down and looking in at me. I hadn't moved yet. I waited, looking over at him as well.

"Come on out, Leandra."

I took a deep breath, unbuckling my seat belt and pushing open the door. I struggled out, and stood there for a moment before I rounded the car to his side. My every step was watched by this new man, his smile very friendly.

"Chris," He said, "She looks just like you. Wow. I see she's got the green eyes." He smirked.

"Leandra," My dad spoke, "This is Steven. My little brother." He didn't look older than mid-twenties, so it was a bit hard to believe that he was my dad's brother.

"It's great to finally meet you, kid." Steven told me, "You're how old?"

"Ten." I answered quietly. I couldn't help feeling very shy.

"Ten years." He chuckled, "And your dad never brought you around to meet this crazy bunch? Man, have you been missing out." Before I could be bothered by that, he turned and called toward the group of people further in the park, "Rich."

An older looking man looked up from where he stood, spinning Lily around on his shoulder, "What? We were both just about to throw up." That was a good thing? The way he said that made it seem like he thought so.

"Get over here and meet your niece." That seemed to prompt him into moving. Setting Lily down on her feet, he chuckled a little as she ran off toward the play area.

I moved closer to my dad's side as this older man started our direction, glancing up at him nervously.

"Well, look at her." The new man, they called Rich, chuckled before he'd even neared, "Looks like Chris made her all by himself."

"This is Richard," My dad told me, "My older brother."

"Oldest in the bunch, but you'd never know it." Rich replied, "Call me Rich, because I like to pretend I am. It's so nice to meet you, Leandra." He held his hand out, and I hesitantly took it. He closed his hand around mine, giving me a gentle smile.

"You too." I mumbled in response. I had to admit. At least I didn't hate these two yet. Two uncles. I never knew I even had one. Now I was looking up at my dad's two brothers.

Steven looked very much like a younger version of my dad, and it was easy to spot the similarities. Same color hair, same green eyes. I guess that was something that ran in the family more than I realized.

My own dark auburn hair was what I took from my dad, along with his eye color, a very clear green. My eyes had always been something that set me apart, as not many people had this color. Now I was looking at at least one other person that had it besides my dad and I.

Richard's looks were a little different. Clearly older, but not too old. A tiny bit of gray in his dark auburn hair proved he was a father of two. His eyes looked more hazel, blue-green, versus our clear green.

Both seemed really happy to finally be meeting me, so it hadn't been a lie on my dad's part. They didn't seem to mind how shy I was, either.

"You're sure she's ten?" Rich asked, "She's not much bigger than Callie."

"That's a long story, Rich." My dad replied, "But yeah. I'm pretty positive that she's been alive ten years."

"So." Rich chuckled, "Shall we subject her to the rest of them?"

"Don't make it sound so painful." My dad chuckled.

"It can be." Steven warned me, "Heads up." I winced, whimpering as I looked up at my dad again.

"Nice going." Rich hit Steven's shoulder as they both turned, "Are you trying to scare her?" My dad, sensing my hesitancy to move forward with them, lifted me off my feet. I let him carry me closer to the rest of the group. I watched an obviously teenage boy stand up from the bench he lounged on, smiling a little at me.

My head was spinning already, and I still had a few more to meet.

Clara, Rich's wife, was a rather soft-spoken type of person. She was the mother of Dominic and Callie, my cousins. Callie was the eight year old busy running circles around the play area with Lily. Dominic was the teenage boy that stood up as we neared. He was fourteen, and also the spitting image of his father.

Both Clara and Dominic were also very polite, very nice to me. I found that it was very easy to like them both. Callie, on the other hand, I wasn't sure of. Not that she was mean, but I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her. She never stopped long enough to.

"Oh, thank you!" Rachel sighed heavily, taking my attention to who she focused on. A much older man came walking over the grass with a couple of twelve-packs of soda in one arm, and hot dog buns in his other hand, "We were running low." I watched him set the sodas down on a rather large cooler holding the drinks.

"Leandra," My dad spoke, seeing my distraction, "That's my dad."

"Mine too." Steven pouted slightly, making me smile a little. This new man's attention was taken by our attention, and he smiled at us. Standing from where Rachel shooed him away, wanting to put the cans of soda in the cooler herself.

He seemed older than Ken was. His hair was a lot grayer than his, and the lines of his face a lot more defined, but the major difference between this man and Ken was that I was related to this one. Actually related to this one.

"There she is." He chuckled, brushing his hands off on his jeans, "The mystery granddaughter." My dad patted my hip as I whimpered quietly at his approach. Seeming to understand my nervousness, his dad approached slowly. Studying my face like something fascinating.

"Hi there, sweetheart." He finally told me with a smile, "You don't have to call me grandpa. You can call me Anthony if you want to." I nodded a little. I appreciated that. He held his hand up for me, and I took it. His hand was a little cold from the ice in the cooler, but not too bad.

Anthony smiled, "She looks just like your mom, Chris." I smiled a little at his admiration, and he returned it, "Her mini-twin, I swear."

I really looked. Under the gray in Anthony's hair, the color was more brown than auburn, to my surprise. He had the blue eyes Rich had. My dad and Steven had gotten their looks from their mother, not their father, and I got my looks from my father. It was mostly her looks that I'd taken.

"I thought she looked just like Chris." Steven shrugged.

"Chris looks the most like mom out of all of us." Rich chuckled, "He always has. I was the lucky one to get dad's striking good looks."

"Right." Steven snorted.

"Oh, don't start on that." My dad chuckled in return, "Remember what I did last time?"

"I still remember what you did the first time I ever told you that." Rich replied, "That wasn't funny. Damn near broke my arm, you animal."

"Stop it, both of you." Anthony rolled his eyes, "Leandra is gonna think we're nuts."

"I know we're nuts." Steven muttered and I laughed a little as my dad finally let me down onto my feet, "No need to go filling the kid's head with lies of sanity." I stayed close to my dad's side, his arm around my shoulders, which helped.

"How?" I asked, gaining their attention, "How did my dad almost break your arm?"

Rich chuckled, "Well, when he was a kid, he had a pretty bad temper." He explained, "The littlest thing would set him off, and as his brothers, it was our job to set him off."

"They were relentless." My dad added.

"He was.. Ten, I think. Just about your age. That would have made me thirteen, and to a ten year old boy, telling him he looked like our mother was the worst insult in the world." Rich continued, "It was basically telling him he looked like a girl, so what did that guy do? Chris picks up the nearest shovel, and whacks me as hard as he can. With the side of the damn blade."

I must have gotten my temper from my dad, which didn't surprise me much. Considering I got most of my other traits from him.

"He had to get fifty-seven stitches." Steven laughed.

"Fifty-seven stitches." Anthony confirmed with a nod, "Scared the hell out of me. I swear, a nurse in the ER fainted." I smiled a little.

"If he'd hit any harder, the impact would have reached bone." Rich explained, "That's what the doctor said."

Steven spoke up, "I still remember laughing at him."

"You were four." Rich pointed out, "You laughed at the characters on the cereal box."

"Shut it." Steven argued, "I do remember laughing, and I'm still laughing. Ha. You deserved it."

"A pillow doesn't seem so bad now." I muttered, looking up at my dad.

"No, it doesn't." My dad replied with a laugh of his own, "I'm glad you didn't find anything sturdier to hit Lily with."

"Like.." Steven mused, "A chair?" I had to laugh at that one as well, "Knowing who her dad is, I'm surprised she didn't try to run her over with your car, Chris."

"I don't know how to drive." I pointed out.

"That never stopped your dad." Steven replied. Wow. Was my dad really that much of a trouble-maker?

"Steven, you're giving the kid ideas." Rich grumbled, "Just.. Go sit in the corner or something." They both laughed, so I knew it was a joke. These guys didn't seem half bad.

"After you." Steven countered, "You're the troublemaker."

"Me?" Rich gasped, "Never."

I looked over as my hand was taken, Rachel standing there.

"I'm stealing her." She told them, "You guys go bicker over there. No bloodshed on the food."

"Aw," Rich replied, "It'll cook away."

I turned with her, sighing a little as she led me away. Over toward the picnic table with all the snacks sitting on it. Clara sat there as well, giving me a smile. I appreciated the slower pace of sitting here with them. Slower conversation, no playful arguing. It was less overwhelming this way.

"Thanks." I sighed, looking up at her, "It was getting pretty hard to keep up."

"That never changes." She laughed, "I'm surprised they haven't started the wrestling match yet."

"Where is my dad's mom?" I asked, and she sat on the bench with a sigh.

"Unfortunately, she passed a long time ago." She explained, and I looked down, "When Chris was just a kid."

"And.. Anthony never remarried?"

"Nope." She replied, "He raised those boys on his own, which I commend him for."

"Wow." I muttered, surprised as I sat down also in the free spot on the bench next to her.

"I just can't believe we've never met you, Leandra." Clara told me, "It just blows my mind."

"I wish I'd met you guys sooner." I admitted quietly, "Maybe this wouldn't be so weird. I can't believe I'm related to everyone." She laughed, thankfully not offended.

"You sure are." She agreed with a nod, "Well, everyone aside from Rachel here, and myself. I know it's a lot to handle at first, but once you get used to it, it's not so bad."

"Not bad at all." Rachel agreed, "They're a bunch of crazies, but I wouldn't trade that bunch of crazies for anything."

"I'm starting to see that." I laughed quietly.

"They've been such a big help lately." She added, "Always right there when we needed them. Without a complaint in the world. Hell, if it wasn't for Clara and Rich, we probably wouldn't have eaten or slept those entire three days."

"I heard about Lily." I mumbled, giving her an apologetic look, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, sweetie." She sighed, "No. Nobody blames you." I was actually relieved by that. I thought sure Rachel would hate me for dragging her family through this, but she obviously didn't. She placed her arm around my shoulders, giving me a gentle side hug. Oddly, especially with the belly she had, Rachel was soft. Even Heather wasn't as soft as Rachel was. She was soft, warm. Comfy.

I made sure to be careful about my movements, though. I didn't accidentally want to bump against her and hurt something.

"Nobody blames you." She repeated, "Don't worry about that, okay? Lily's back, she's just fine. She's where she belongs, and we've got a very nice place to unwind. I've never seen Chris so happy, you know. Now that he's closer to you now, he's got both of the things he loves most in the world. As horrible as it was not to know where she was, a lot of positive has come out of the decision to move."

"Hey mom." We all looked over as Dominic stopped by our table, "I was gonna get a soda. Do you need anything?" I sat up, away from Rachel to look at him easier.

"Please?" She requested, gesturing to her own soda can.

"Aunt Rachel?" He asked.

"Just a bottle of water, sweetie." She replied, "Thank you."

He smiled at me, "Leandra?"

"Uh.." I muttered. I didn't know what selection there was, "I'll just go see." I stood up, and he nodded a little. He was kind of tall for a fourteen year old. Taller than me by at least a foot.

"So." He said as he opened the cooler, "You're my cousin, huh?"

"I guess." I replied, shifting some ice around to look at the selection of soda inside.

"I know it's a little late," He murmured, "But welcome to the family." He seemed okay too. I hadn't had a bad feeling yet, which was surprising. By now, with a group this size, I'd have wanted to hide away at least once, but I hadn't yet.

"Thanks." I laughed a little, "Even though I'm not really part of it."

"Sure you are." He corrected, "Just because you live with another family, doesn't mean you're not part of this bunch of nuts." I laughed again, choosing an orange soda, "You're still related by blood, and that matters." He paused, grabbing the things his mom and Rachel wanted, "So why do you live with another family? I mean, I don't mean to pry, but it just seems a little weird to me that you didn't go with your dad."

"That's a long story." I sighed, standing upright.

"Okay." He nodded a little, "Just wondering." He smiled again, making me feel a lot less weird about it, "And I'm sorry. For Callie. My sister is kind of.. Well, she's really not into the whole family thing. She doesn't get what a big deal this is."

"No, it's okay." I said, "She can run around with Lily all she wants to." He laughed, nodding again, "I'm just glad I don't have to do it."

Dominic was really easy to get along with. Not nearly worth all the worry I'd felt when we'd first gotten here.

"How long are you guys staying?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Uncle Steven is only staying the weekend." He replied, "He has to get back for work. We're staying for awhile. We'll head back on Saturday next week. This was pretty much just a little housewarming thing, or.. Apartment-warming thing." I nodded, "We just wanted to make sure Uncle Chris and Aunt Rachel had everything they needed for their new place. Especially with the baby due so soon."

"That's so nice of you." I pointed out, and he smiled.

"Plus, we'd get to meet you." He added, "It's a win-win."

"I'm not sure that's much of a win." I admitted, "I'm not that easy of a person to know."

"Then you'll fit right in." He chuckled, handing the drinks to Rachel and Clara. He and I sat back down, across the table from Rachel and Clara this time. I took his lead as he dove into the bag of chips sitting there. Grabbing some myself.

It sprinkled rain for a few minutes, but other than that, it didn't rain at all the entire afternoon.

As easy it was to get along with everyone, Steven was my favorite. He was the funniest, and the one with the sense of humor closest to mine.

I didn't trust Anthony much yet, but he was nothing but polite and friendly to me the entire time I was there. There were a few corny jokes, but he couldn't be blamed for those, because they weren't his fault, and they did make a few laugh with how lame they were.

What did the circle say to the triangle? You're pointless. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands. What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.

They were funny, I had to admit. He seemed to appreciate my appreciation of his jokes. Not many others did.

I even let Steven sit next to me while we ate. Lily to my other side. Jokingly, he kept trying to steal chips from my plate. Just like Emmett had kept trying to steal my food that day. I fixed it by dragging the bag of chips over to him, instead of stabbing him with a plastic fork.

"Problem solved." I laughed.

"Well, if you insist.." He shrugged a little.

"You could have asked."

"What fun is that?" He chuckled, and I rolled my eyes a little. He sighed, "So, you're the one that broke the curse."

"What curse?" I asked. Lily was apparently tired of sitting still and decided to run off.

"Well, before you, our family only had guys." He replied, "Dad only had boys, and his boy had a boy four years before you came around. No girls, and it definitely was a curse, until you came along. Two years after you became the first little female in the family, Clara had a baby girl. Then came Lily two years after her. Now comes the new little girl over there, hogging all her mom's food, despite her efforts." He gestured across the table to Rachel.

I sensed that had been a jab at how often Rachel was munching on something, but even I could understand why. How else was the baby supposed to eat?

"Shove it, Steven." Rachel laughed. She didn't seem offended, which was a good thing. She found the humor in it.

"I've always been a rule-breaker." I explained, replying to Steven. He snorted, choking on the sip of soda he was taking. I couldn't help laughing at his misfortune, as it was pretty funny that I'd caused it.

"Ha." Rachel told him, "Serves you right." Anthony joined in laughing with her.

"Right on." Steven finally grinned, looking over at me once he recovered, "That's the way to be, girl." Shyly, I just looked down again.

"Well, now you've embarrassed the girl." Anthony chuckled, standing up. He took Lily's vacated seat, looking to me, "Don't feel bad. He embarrasses me every time he talks."

"That's not nice, dad." Steven tried to sound as offended as he could.

I fidgeted a little, nervous at how close Anthony was now. I considered ways to get out from between them without them noticing. They were bickering back and forth, so I honestly wondered if they'd notice at all if I slipped away.

I yelped quietly as Anthony suddenly reached over and pulled me onto his lap. I was actually seated more on his leg, but I still didn't appreciate it much. Tensing considerably, I sat at still as I could. I absolutely hated lap sitting, no matter where on the lap I sat. No matter whose lap I was seated on. There was only one person I tolerated it from, and that was Esme. Anthony wasn't Esme, and I didn't appreciate this one bit.

Steven gave his dad one more snide reply before they both chuckled and Steven moved. This seemed normal to Anthony, but then again, it had also seemed normal to Ken. It'd be difficult to move away without hurting his feelings, so I stayed. I didn't want to make him mad somehow by telling him I was deeply, very deeply uncomfortable.

I reminded myself of Zack's pet turtle. If I had a shell to hide away in, I would have. I didn't, however, so I could only sit as still as I could. Stiff, tense.

He seemed to notice, looking at me, "Everything okay?" I didn't know how to answer. I didn't know what to do. Stuck in place by not wanting to offend him, but not wanting to stay.

My dad must not have told him that this was against the rules. I looked across the table to my dad, and he met my eyes. Taking a second, it finally occurred to him what was bothering me so bad.

"Um." He suddenly stood up, "Leandra, can you come over here for a moment?" Instantly, Anthony's arms around me loosened, and I held my breath. I was saved!

I held my sigh of relief back until I was already off Anthony's lap. Rounding the table to follow my dad a few steps away, I let that sigh out.

He kneeled down, giving me a small smile as he spoke quietly, "As much as I want you to be comfortable around the family, I won't make you sit there and deal with that unless you're ready to."

"Thank you." I whimpered quietly, "I hate that."

"I know you do." He nodded a little, "And it's your choice. I just want to tell you again that nobody here would ever hurt you. Least of all my dad."

"I don't know that yet." I threw that last word in for his benefit.

He nodded again, "Then come sit with me. See, affection like that is normal to him. There's nothing wrong with it in his opinion, never imagining someone would use it against the child instead of using it to comfort them. Pulling kids onto his lap is only his way of hugging them while sitting down. He's an affectionate person."

I looked over as Lily willingly took my place on Anthony's lap, grinning contentedly as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, hugging her. Much to her appreciation.

With Lily's example, I didn't feel quite as frightened by the gesture, but I still didn't like it. She could sit there all she wanted. She was obviously used to the seating arrangement, and sat there happily.

"He'd never, ever dream of hurting any of his family, much less his grandchildren." My dad assured me, "I'm hoping one day you'll see that."

"Me too." I admitted quietly, "Just.. Don't tell him. I don't want him to feel bad. If that's normal to him, it's not his fault that I hate it." He smiled again, giving a small nod.

"I won't say a word." He replied, and I nodded this time.

I was glad he seemed to understand.

"Come on." He murmured. Standing up again, he led me back to the table. There was just enough room between him and Dominic for me to fit. I paused to grab my plate before sitting down with a sigh. I wasn't done eating.

The evening went smoother from there, and it started to get chilly, so I stuck close to my dad's side for warmth. He didn't seem to mind that, resting his arm around my shoulders.

Oddly, I didn't want today to end, but that had happened. Before I even knew it, everyone was ready to head back to the hotel and the goodbyes had to start. The one that bothered me, though, was Steven. I knew I probably wouldn't see him again before he left. Anthony was heading back with him, and I tried not to be relieved by that. He really was nice. It wasn't for lack of trying on his part that I still didn't trust him.

Anthony talked to me for a few solid minutes while Steven got things together, letting me know again how great it was to finally meet me. How beautiful I was, and how wonderful of a person I was. From him, it didn't bother me to hear. He meant every word he said.

Steven told me to remain a rule-breaker, and I allowed a hug from both of them before they both left.

Lily wanted Callie to spend the night, so Rachel would be taking them both back to the apartment with her, and Dominic would be returning to the hotel with Rich and Clara. My dad would be the one to take me home.

My dad looked over at me as he pulled to a stop in front of the house, giving me a smile.

"So." He spoke, "What did you think? Any regrets?"

"No." I laughed a little, "No regrets. Everyone was so nice."

"What'd you expect?" He chuckled, "A family of trolls?"

"Maybe." I shrugged a little. He shook his head, opening his door and I followed. Esme and Carlisle met us both at the door.

"I can't stay long." My dad said as we stepped inside, "Rachel's back home with two little girls. I don't want to come home to bloodshed." I laughed a little, "I have a strong feeling she's not going to make it to mid May before the baby's here. She's been such a trooper."

"How did it go?" Esme asked us, hugging me into her side as I hugged her. I'd missed her.

"It went very well." My dad sighed, sitting on the edge of the couch, "I think she finally understands where she gets most of her personality from." He looked to me, "I'm so sorry." I laughed again.

"I'm glad it went so well." Esme smiled.

"I promised to bring her back in one piece." My dad chuckled, "Even if Steven almost lost a finger."

"He shouldn't have tried to steal my chips." I countered, but smiled, "Tell Steven I like him." It was his turn to smirk, "I mean, I liked everyone, but him the most."

"I will." He replied, "Even if I don't think he needs his ego boosted any. He's definitely the favorite Uncle. I think it's because he's closest to the kids' age."

"How old is he?" I asked, curious. I'd wondered about that.

"He was seventeen when you were born." He answered, "Just a kid himself." I nodded a little, "This won't be the last time you see them, Leandra. I can pretty much guarantee that." I nodded a little and he smiled at me, "You made quite the impression."

"I do that a lot." I replied, laughing once more.

"I'm glad you had a good time today, sweetie." He sighed.

After a short recount of the day, including the very uncomfortable thirty seconds on Anthony's lap and my dad heroically saving me, he had to leave. He lived in town, though, so it wasn't nearly that far of a drive for him anymore. Maybe twenty minutes, if that. I didn't worry as much about him getting home safely.

I'd gone through with it, so it was Emmett's turn to pay up. I wanted to get there before my tooth had a chance to fall out on its own. It was getting there, having had a week to hang on. Unfortunately, I didn't see him that night, and I didn't get a chance to talk to him about it the next morning, as the living room was empty. He must have been upstairs.

It was almost rare these days to find the living room empty. The usually on TV was currently off, the house almost silent.

"I smell food." I muttered to myself, as a way to make some sort of sound. I sighed, turning and heading for the kitchen. Sure enough, Esme had finally chosen right in deciding to make something for me to eat.

To my surprise, though, Carlisle was in the kitchen with Esme. Talking, but falling quiet, looking over as I paused in the doorway. Esme smiled a little, so I knew I wasn't unwelcome, but I still felt bad for interrupting whatever they were talking about. No doubt it was about me, as that seemed to be a popular topic these days.

"Sorry." I mumbled, turning to leave again.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called, and I paused, "Can I speak with you a minute?" That was a surprise.

"What'd I do?" I asked hesitantly. It was also pretty rare these days for Carlisle to want to talk to me, other than a word or two now and then. Every other time, he seemed too busy worrying about stuff. It had only been a few weeks since the Ms. Parker incident, but it felt a whole lot longer than that, just by how stressed he'd been.

"You haven't done anything wrong." He replied, but I frowned a little. What else could it be?

"What's wrong?" I started to really worry now, "Is Alyssa okay? Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened." He assured me, "She's fine. That's not what this is about." Too relieved now to hesitate much more, I turned and sat down in the closest seat at the counter. Seeing my cooperation, Carlisle moved forward. Taking the open seat beside me with a sigh.

"There are a few things I wanted to address." He said, "I'd like to start with the worry you have about allowing yourself to get too close to your father."

I looked down.

"Edward told you?" I asked. I couldn't exactly blame him for doing so, especially how upset Carlisle seemed to get when someone kept something from him regarding me, but it bugged me. He said he wouldn't.

"No." Carlisle replied, "It wasn't difficult to figure out, but I did want to say that Edward was right. No one would do that to you. There would be no reason to force you to live somewhere that you don't want to be."

"Why wouldn't you?" I asked, hesitantly looking back up, "It'd be so much easier on you to just give me to him."

"Multiple reasons." He answered, "For one, it wouldn't be easier on anyone. It wouldn't be nearly as easy to protect you there. It may be safer for you to live with him, among other humans, but in every other aspect, it's far more dangerous for all involved." I waited, watching him. He had more to say, and at that moment, I didn't know what to say. So I stayed quiet.

"Second," He went on, "You've made your preference very clear, and you know living with your father is an option should you ever change your mind, but we're not going to go against your wishes that way. Forcing you to live with your father like that would go against everything we've been trying for, and that's to teach you to trust again.

"Of course. Of _course_ the option is there whenever you want it. I don't want you to feel like you have to hold yourself back from getting to know your biological family, purely because you think you'll be forced to live with them if you do. I just don't know where that worry might have come from."

"I don't want you to give up on me." I mumbled in answer before I could stop myself, "I-I know I don't deserve it, but you've tried harder for me than anyone else ever has."

That was normally something I never would have let myself admit, because to me, admitting it seemed to make it too easy for whatever I worried about to happen.

"That's not going to happen." He told me, "I've never given up on anything in my life, and I truly don't intend to start now." I wanted so bad to believe him, but it was so hard. I didn't want him to know that, so I just nodded. I doubted he believed that, but he didn't comment on it.

"On that note, there is one more thing I wanted to talk to you about." He said, and it seemed like he was hesitant. I waited again, a little nervous at how he paused. Like he wasn't sure if he wanted to say what he wanted to say. I frowned a little, clearly hearing the hesitancy in his voice.

"Are you sure I didn't do anything?" I asked, "Because whatever it is-"

"You haven't done anything wrong." He assured me once more, and though I bit my lip, I stayed quiet again.

He'd tell me if I was in trouble, right? He wouldn't lie to me like that for no reason.

"Leandra, I know how hard it is for you to believe, but to us, you are a part of this family." He began, "And believe me, when we first met you, I never thought it'd be possible to care about someone so much so quickly. I don't know what happened last time," Meaning back in the vision I'd had, I gathered, "But I know what I want to happen this time."

I frowned a little more, confused. Glancing up at Esme, she only smiled, silently telling me that it was okay. She was obviously in on it, knowing what he was getting at, but I was still lost.

"I don't ever want anyone to question where you belong again." He said, bringing my attention back to him, "Least of all, you. As big of a part of this family as you are, there's only one choice." He glanced to Esme as well when I didn't say anything, "We were going to wait, just to avoid overwhelming you, but we've decided that the sooner this goes through, the better."

"I'm confused." I mumbled.

"From the beginning, you've made your preference very clear, and the day you were nearly taken.." He trailed off, "Leandra, it hurt us." I looked down. Emmett had mentioned that part. He'd mentioned how bad it bothered everyone else. That was still a little hard for me to believe it could bother them any more than it bothered me.

"Me too." I murmured, finally admitting that, "It wasn't just being scared that made me fight so hard to stay. I didn't want to go anywhere, so I would have fought like that no matter who it was."

"We understand that, sweetie." Esme spoke quietly.

"It really made us realize just how precious and priceless you are to us," Carlisle went on, "And that is something we never want to have to worry about again. It really made me rethink priorities. The answer was always so clear. We want to know, and we want you to know that no matter what happens, you're here to stay."

"How?" I asked, still confused, "I mean, how can you keep that from happening? What they say goes. If they ever make me leave for real, I have to go. That's just how it works." I wasn't getting it, "No matter how much I don't want to."

"We'd like to know how you'd feel about being adopted." Carlisle finally told me, and for a second, I could just sit there, "Officially."

I knew what the word meant, but for a moment, it didn't register to me. As 'special' as my ability supposedly was, how did things like this keep catching me off guard?

Adopted? Meaning, I would be theirs. I'd be theirs. Officially their problem. Nobody could take me away, or pull me away from them again. That's what he was saying. He was offering peace of mind, as well as something even bigger.

He was offering a whole lot more than just signing some paperwork. He just couldn't know what he was offering. The weight, the main worry would be gone. They wouldn't be able to just give me away. They couldn't give up on me. That would be the proof I'd been needing. I didn't want to say that, but it was true.

Nobody could take me away again. Nobody could even try.

I still couldn't speak yet, so he continued, "We've already looked into it, and all that's left are the two steps to finalize it." Before he even finished saying the last word, I stood and hugged him where he sat. He returned it, gently of course, but enough to let me know he was there.

I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't.

"You still want me?" I had to ask, nearly in tears.

"Of course we do." He answered before Esme could, "Why wouldn't we?"

"W-What about all the stuff I did wrong?" I asked, pulling back, "All the things I've done, all the things I've said? All the problems I cause?" Why was I trying to talk him out of this? Maybe because he deserved better. He didn't know what he was asking. He didn't know what it would mean. He couldn't. If he knew what it would mean, there's no way he'd even consider it.

"You had absolutely no fault in that." He replied, hugging me again, "You're still learning how to be human, Leandra. Being treated as less than human for so much of your life tends to leave its mark, and you're learning how to change."

"I know." I told him, "But that doesn't fix me."

"You're not broken." He countered, "You never have been. I think now, more than ever, you need to know someone will always be there. No matter what happens." I couldn't keep arguing. Why keep trying to change his mind? Because I cared about him. I didn't want him stuck with me for however long I was with them.

I just couldn't believe he could know what this would mean. For me, and for them.

But then I thought about it. He'd probably gone over this extensively since the idea first came to him. Every little detail probably multiple times, just to be completely sure he'd want to go through with it.

He knew the risks, and he knew I knew the risks. The permanent solution that would ensure a whole lot more than an official change in my last name. I'd belong somewhere. I wouldn't be stuck in the middle anymore. The uncertainty, the worry of where I'd be if they got sick of me would be gone.

"Please." I squeezed breathless tears from my eyes, "Tell me this isn't a dream." I wasn't even sure why I wondered that. I hadn't even considered this solution. I'd lived here until now accepting the fact that I would have to leave someday. I had no idea that this was even an option. So much more than anything I'd expected, so why was I wondering if this was a dream?

"No." He said, "It's not." I could only let out sobs now.

I suddenly began to understand where my vision led. The original vision that had led me to them in the first place. This must have been why I considered, without a doubt knowing they were my family. Because they had been.

He wasn't just offering me a permanent home, and a family, but he was returning to me what I had before. He was giving me what I'd hated waking up from. Especially when he didn't have to. He was giving me so much more than I could ever dream of repaying him for.

I could never repay him. For as long as I lived, I would never be able to give him anything near the amount that he was offering to give me. He just didn't know.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't calm down.

"I'm taking this as a yes?" Esme laughed quietly from the side. Enthusiastically, I nodded. Slowly, Carlisle stood, carefully lifting me with him. Knowing I was getting tired of standing in my emotion.

"Our only regret, Leandra, is that we haven't done this sooner." Esme added.

"How could you want me?" I cried, looking to her, "I'm nothing."

"Because you don't see how untrue that is." She replied, "You just can't see your own worth. I don't trust anyone else to help you change that way of thinking. I don't trust anyone else enough with your long-term safety and well-being to ever let you go."

"Then don't." I whimpered, shaking my head, "I don't want you to let me go." And it was true.

All I'd ever wanted was to know that I was wanted. In some way cared about. I'd gotten that here from the day I arrived, and though I was still trying to get used to that, I was so afraid of having that taken from me, desperate to keep it, I'd been too scared to let myself completely rely on it. Expecting them to change their minds at any moment.

This was the solution I needed. If Carlisle and Esme adopted me, they couldn't change their minds. They had to keep me. This was the way I knew they were serious. They meant what they said when they told me how much they cared about me. The same things I'd been so reluctant to believe before, they were willing to prove.

Then I thought about it. This must have been one of the things that Carlisle had been so focused on this whole time. What had been keeping him so distracted. It was obviously a very lengthy process, taking weeks of his time. I knew that wasn't the only thing keeping his focus, but it was such a big thing in itself.

Why had he been hesitant to bring it up? Maybe because it seemed like it was too soon. Like he worried I'd believe that he wasn't sincere about it, since it was in the middle of a huge threat like Jack. Like he was just trying to make me feel better, but I knew better than to believe that. I didn't doubt him now. I couldn't let myself doubt his sincerity. I needed to believe in what he said, because it was the one way I knew how to get out from under all the worry.

Or maybe he was worried I'd be confused about what I wanted, having just met my real family. I wasn't in the slightest bit confused. I knew what I wanted, and I wanted to stay where I knew I was wanted. I wanted to stay with the ones that went so very far out of their way, and not to mention their comfort zone, just to help someone like me when I so desperately needed it.

Sure, I liked my real family. They were cool, and sure I liked them, but they hadn't proven themselves near as much as Carlisle had proven himself. Not even close. No contest whatsoever.

"What about the others?" I found myself asking.

"I'm fairly sure they would have been upset had I _not_ come to this conclusion." Carlisle answered.

"It was unanimous." Esme laughed a little.

"But-"

"They've grown accustomed to how things are." She knew I was still worried about it, "I don't think they'd vote against this just to go back to how things were before. I know I wouldn't trade this outcome for anything in the world." I smiled a little, looking down and clearing the tears from my cheeks as subtly as I could.

Even after all I'd done and all the problems I'd caused, they still wanted this. That told me more than my over-worried mind ever could.

"I just needed to be sure." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him again, "I needed to be sure that this was something that you'd want before I moved forward with it."

As many things as I wanted to say, and as many ways there was to reply, all I could do was nod. There were so many things spinning through my dizzy mind, but there wasn't an unsure bit in me. Of course this was something I wanted. Now that I knew this was not only an option, but so close to happening, I wanted it so bad I couldn't breathe.

I had to wonder, though. Why would he be unsure about whether or not I'd want it? Had I made him question whether or not I wanted to stay there? While trying so hard to prove that this was where I wanted to stay, I could see how he'd question if I was sincere.

I looked over as Emmett stepped into the room. Which reminded me of what had held my focus just a little while before.

"Your turn." I told Emmett, dropping to my feet, "I held up my end of the deal."

"What deal?" Carlisle asked.

"Emmett said that if I went with my dad to meet his side of the family, he'd take me to see Alyssa." I answered before Emmett could, "He promised."

"And I'm going to keep that promise." Emmett chuckled, "Just not right this second. We'll go tonight, okay?"

"That's quite a distance." Esme frowned a little, "You intend to carry her?"

"It's the fastest way." He replied, "I think she'll be fine."

"Just be careful." Esme murmured, "She doesn't have much experience travelling that way." Her cautious tone suddenly meant more than it did before.

"Meaning," Emmett translated, "She might puke."

"I didn't throw up before." I reasoned.

"You've never been carried almost three-thousand miles at once." Emmett replied, "Three-thousand miles is a whole lot different than fifty feet, shorty."

"I think I'll live." I muttered, "How different can it be?"

"You're in for a surprise." He chuckled, "So how'd it go yesterday?" Meaning, with my family. I hadn't filled him in yet.

"Weird." I replied, "I mean, it was okay, but so weird."

"And you're sure you won't want to choose them over us?" He asked with a smirk.

"Positive." I replied, "I think if I'd met them before, like when I was younger, it might be different, but not now. I learned some more things, though."

"Like?" He prompted, watching me sit back down.

"Well," I sighed, "Like.. I look more like my grandma than my dad. I guess she died when my dad was a kid, and his dad raised them on his own, but I look like her."

"That's pretty cool." He replied.

"And I learned that before me, there weren't any girls." I added, "I was the first girl. Then came Callie two years after me, then Lily, and now the new baby."

"Trend-setter." He chuckled, and I laughed a little, shrugging.

"It was just so weird." I went on, "Seeing all those people I'm supposed to be related to, and not knowing a thing about them. They're all so close."

"And you don't want to be part of that?"

"Not really." I shook my head, "Like I said. I think it's too late. I don't hate them. I mean, they're nice enough. I just don't think I fit there."

"That's reasonable." He nodded a little, "Well, I won't say that I'm not happy about that. That just means we get to keep you."

"Emmett." Esme laughed a little, but tried to scold him at the same time. I could see why she's want to scold him. It was a little insensitive of him to say that, but I didn't mind it.

My dad actually made an appearance that afternoon, surprisingly bringing Steven and Anthony along with him. I didn't exactly mind that they were here. Just surprised. I thought sure I wouldn't see them before they left.

"They wanted to see you one more time before they had to leave." My dad explained, chuckling a little at my confusion. I looked over, watching Steven introducing himself to the rest of my family. It was still strange, looking at him. Seeing him here. I'd just been getting used to seeing my dad around here. Now these two?

"I think it was more about wanting to see who was taking care of his niece." Anthony added with his own chuckle.

"That too." My dad replied. That certainly seemed to be the case, as he seemed to be paying more attention to my family than me at the moment.

That reminded me. I wondered briefly if my dad knew about the arrangements Carlisle was making. That suddenly made me nervous. Would my dad be mad at me? Would he not like me anymore for choosing to stay where I was in a more permanent way?

Hesitantly, I moved away with a quiet, "I'll be right back."

I stepped over to Esme's side, looking up at her.

"Does he know?" I asked her hesitantly, and she glanced to Carlisle.

"He knows." Carlisle replied for her, "I spoke with him first, before taking any steps." Meaning, weeks ago, "His only request was that he still be allowed in your life." That made me feel better. I looked back at my dad where he stood now in mid conversation with Emmett and Steven.

He already knew, and obviously supported it. At very least, he didn't hate me for it. He never even let on that he knew anything about it, which was probably how it was such a big surprise to me.

Everything he'd said to me and done for me lately had only been for me. Not because he was trying to win me over or change my mind.

"Yeah," I said, "I'd still want him in my life."

"Then that's what matters." Carlisle replied, "He only wants what's best for you, and he only wants you to be happy. He wasn't disappointed, Leandra, if that's what you're worried about. He understands the situation completely."

I sighed a little, nodding.

"If you ever grow to change your mind," Carlisle added, "And decide that you'd rather go with your father one day, then that can be arranged too. This isn't permanent. It can be changed if you need it to be."

"I don't want it to be changed." I replied quietly, looking up at him.

"I know." He assured me, "I'd just like you to keep it in mind." I nodded again. As if to prove my point, I hugged Esme's side, which she easily returned. I preferred it this way, actually. This way, I got what I wanted. I got to stay with my family, but I also got to keep my dad without being forced to live with him.

This was acceptable. Somehow, even with the threat of Jack out there, pieces of my life were just starting to fall into place, and things were starting to look up.

**A/N: I know this took forever, but the chapter changed on me. :/  
****I'm not the biggest fan of the moment that chapters decide to change their mind, but here it is! :D  
****And _yay_ for familiar! Finally, a familiar part. I was so happy when I found a place for that. :)  
****THANK YOU! To my awesome reviewers! :D THANK YOU! HUGE THANK YOU! THAAAANK YOOOOU!  
****Chapter Five, we'll be moving on. Hopefully. Unless that one decides to change too. Then I'll be a little irritated, but I'd rather it be right than easy. ;)  
****Until Five, my friends!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I was all set to go by the time evening started falling.

I had a feeling that having Emmett be the one to be responsible for me, even for just a few days, would be interesting. It was easy to watch me for a few hours while everyone went out to hunt, but this was a whole new thing. He'd be the one that had to keep me not only safe, but alive as well, and he'd obviously already caught on to that.

I had to pack a bag for three days, and though I appreciated that amount of time, I knew I'd hate leaving just as much as I did before.

I handed my bag to Emmett that evening, and he shouldered it before lifting me.

"Take care of her." Esme told him, "I mean it, Emmett. Don't let her out of your sight for a second." He would be the one responsible for me, so I knew why she was telling him this. Especially knowing my tendency to run off when I was with Alyssa.

"She'll be fine." He assured her, handing me a jacket. I frowned.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Hiding." He chuckled, "It's going be a little while before you can look around without throwing up. I figured you might not want to keep your eyes closed that long."

"Oh." I said, "Right."

"I'll be honest." He said, "I've never carried a human that far before, so bear with me."

"Got it." I replied, "I've never been carried that far before, so bear with me."

"Got it." He repeated.

Esme still seemed nervous, almost too nervous to let me out of her sight, but I allowed her smoothing my hair. I knew if she wanted to, she could come visit easily, so I didn't feel as bad going.

I didn't protest any as Emmett dropped the jacket over my head. Instead, I fixed it so it covered me more completely, holding it closed as Emmett adjusted me in his arms, holding me with both arms now as he started walking. Probably toward the other side of the house, and the back door.

"Here we go." He said, "Stay under there."

"Thank you." I mumbled, hoping he heard me, "For taking me."

"Not a problem, shorty." He replied, "I promised, didn't I? Even though I know they'd rather keep you there where they could watch you." There? We must have been further than I thought already. I didn't dare look up, though. His voice gave no indication he was using any effort at all.

"Will I still have the same room?"

"Yup." He replied, "That's yours now, shorty. Rose has been there all day setting things up."

"Really?" I asked, "It wasn't set up before?"

"We don't need the things humans need." He reminded me, "It was easier just leaving everything the way it was, but with you there, we need electricity and stuff again."

"Oh." I muttered, "Sorry. I didn't know-"

"Nah." He said, "Don't worry about it. I'm actually glad they let me do this for you. I'm a little surprised, actually, that they let me take you anywhere near out of their sight."

"It just means they trust you." I replied, "That should be a good thing."

"I'm not denying that it's a good thing." He laughed, "I'm just surprised, is all."

It fell quiet for a minute or two, and I sighed. Getting bored all hidden away like I was, but I didn't dare let the jacket fall. I wasn't sure if it was the lack of fresh air under the tightly closed jacket around my head, or what it was, but my head was starting to spin.

I was bounced slightly in his arms, "You okay in there?"

"I was." I grumbled, "Don't shake me. I'm not a snow-globe."

"My apologies." He replied, chuckling, "This is actually pretty fun."

"I'm glad you're having fun." I said, "I feel so stupid."

"Believe me," He muttered, "You want to stay under there. I'm not sure you want to see what it's like moving ten-thousand miles an hour."

"Yeah, probably not." Not if I could already feel it.

"Almost there." He assured me.

"We're not there yet?" I mocked his obvious confidence.

"Don't make me shake you."

"If you shake me, I'll turn into a pissed off can of soda." I warned, "I will puke on you, and I won't be sorry."

"You don't fight fair."

"I learned from the best." I countered.

"You didn't learn that from me." He sounded outraged. I had to laugh at that one. He knew what I meant, but turned it around.

"You're the best?" I asked, catching on.

"If you insist." I laughed again, giving up.

I didn't want to keep talking anyway. With my stomach feeling so iffy, I wasn't sure I should keep talking. I'd let him keep that one. The way I felt, it felt a little like motion sickness, but that didn't make any sense because I couldn't see anything around me. Maybe it was a sensed thing.

Before it could get bad enough to say anything about it, though, I closed my eyes. I snoozed for a few minutes, but my yelp was loud as I was suddenly dropped. Not expecting to be dropped, or to land on a couch.

As it turned out, being carried that far was very different from what I'd experienced before. I was still finding that out.

"Here we are." He chuckled as I whipped the jacket off my head and glared up at him. My dizziness only seemed to get worse now that I could see, and it was slowly getting even worse.

"A little warning would have been nice." I muttered, looking around myself, "I swear, I felt those time changes."

He chuckled, "Welcome to three hours ahead."

I almost couldn't believe I was back here. Back in the house I'd spent six hard months in just a few months ago. I saw it differently than I did when we left it. I held a new appreciation for it.

It was also the strangest thing to be sitting around passed eight in the evening when fifteen minutes prior, it'd been hardly five in the evening, and it was just starting to hit me.

"You get used to that." He assured me, watching me as I sat up on the couch. My disorientation was catching up. As if my mind suddenly really remembered how to be dizzy. I laid back down, covering my face.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned.

"I think I might throw up." I whined.

"Aw, come on." He muttered, "I covered your head."

"I don't think that matters." I replied, keeping my eyes covered. It was the type of nausea that started in my head, chilling me in an unpleasant way and turning my stomach in knots.

"Just remember to breathe." He suggested, "Deep breaths, shorty. You'll be alright." I finally looked up at him, watching him turn and pull his phone out. He didn't call anyone, though. He sat on the other end of the couch at my feet with a sigh, and I could just see that he was typing out a text message.

"Who's that to?" I asked quietly.

"Carlisle." He answered, "He wanted to know when the eaglet landed."

"Huh?" I frowned.

"He wanted to know when we got here." He clarified, laughing a little, "You are _so_ young."

"I'm guessing I'm the eaglet?" I muttered, my voice trembling lightly.

"You'd guess right."

"Can I be a pelican instead?" I asked, and it was his turn to be confused.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, still trying to recover.

I laid there for several minutes, just looking around. Letting myself adjust, getting used to being here again. It had been a very busy day for me, and I felt like I wasn't far from wanting to sleep.

"Today doesn't count, right?" I asked, forcing myself to sit up.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, it's freaking mostly gone." I gestured toward the window and the night outside, "You said three days."

"I think I can buy you more time if it's required." He smiled a little.

"It's required." I replied, "I can't even walk, much less go see her yet."

"Okay then." He agreed, standing up with a sigh, "Uh.. Well, are you hungry or anything?" He seemed nervous, like he felt like he was forgetting something needed to keep me alive. I'd already had dinner, which was currently fighting back, so not especially.

I had a feeling that having Emmett be the one to be responsible for me, even for just a few days, would be interesting. It was easy to watch me for a few hours while everyone went out to hunt, but this was a whole new thing. He'd obviously already caught on to that, though.

"Far from it." I replied.

"Tired?"

"Not yet." I laughed a little, "Calm down. I promise not to die on you yet." I looked over as Rosalie descended the stairs, coming over to greet Emmett. I looked back down, not wanting to seem too nosy. Lowering my head a little seemed to help with the dizziness anyway. Closing my eyes lightly, I focused mostly on my breathing.

I suddenly thought of something. Something I could do that might help me. I just wasn't sure if they'd allow it.

I hesitated for a second before I looked over at them, "Can I go outside?"

Emmett looked to me, his eyes narrowed in suspicion before he replied, "Only if you swear not to leave the yard." I laughed a little as I slowly stood up.

"I swear." I replied, "I'm not going anywhere. That'd be a really stupid thing to do on my own. I just wanna see how much has changed."

"It's only been a couple of months, shorty."

"It feels a lot longer than that." I sighed.

"Go ahead." He told me, "Just stay in the yard. That's all I ask." I nodded again, heading for the back door. It was a rather cool evening. I noticed that immediately, closing the door behind me, but the cool air was what helped me. I stepped from the porch, across the soft grass of the yard, already starting to breathe normally.

The slow breeze blew from behind me, just like it always did. The breeze, blowing in the direction of the park below, sent my hair into my face as I neared the back yard wall.

The stars in the sky above were bright out this way, but there was still some light to see by as I leaned on the wall, looking over the park off in the distance. I could just see the swings Alyssa and I played on the day that Mikah insisted I play. One of the last times I'd seen him, and that was back in February. It being late April now, it oddly seemed like a lifetime ago. Like so much had changed in such a short amount of time.

I knew this place, this city would always make me sad, but with all the good times I had here and all the things I learned, I never wanted to leave it. At least not for good. I had too much to miss. Too much to miss, and too much to remember. I'd known the first time I saw this house that it would wind up being one of my favorites, and I wasn't wrong. I didn't even have to see all the other places Carlisle owned to know that.

"Thinking?" I jumped a little, looking back at Rosalie's approach from inside the house.

"Yeah." I admitted, shaking off my surprise, "It's so quiet here."

"To you." She pointed out, "I can hear a lot from out here."

"That must suck." I said, "Never getting to just.. Listen to nothing." I winced a little. I would hate that.

"Sometimes, it does." She allowed, "But it does come in handy."

"I'd rather listen to nothing." I laughed a little, "Thoughts are enough for me. I'd go crazy if I had to sort out every sound down there too." I gestured passed the park, to the city beyond it.

She stayed quiet, and I didn't mind that. She was probably listening in Alyssa's general direction. I wondered how often she'd kept watch before from where we stood. I also wondered what kinds of things she'd heard, or could hear now. To me, it was pretty much silent out here, aside from a choir of crickets somewhere along the wall off to the right.

In the silence, I looked out toward the park again. I thought of the memories I had of that time, wishing I could relive them as clearly as I relived the bad ones. It wasn't fair. I sighed heavily, really hating the way my mind worked now.

"You're thinking about that boy."

"Mikah?" I asked, looking over at her, and given her lack of correction I knew that was who she'd meant. I sighed, "Yeah. He's the one that told me that I was missing out on so much by only thinking about the bad things." She nodded a little, "I miss him so much because he could make anything seem fine. No matter how bad it was, he could make it okay again. I guess I haven't figured out how to stop missing him so much yet."

"That kind of influence, Leandra, is something you'll never stop missing." She told me, "And that's something I can't blame you for."

"I don't want to stop missing him." I admitted, "It'd feel wrong to stop missing him."

"Then don't." She replied, "Nobody can tell you who you're allowed to feel something for, Leandra. They can give suggestions all they want, but they can't take that away from you."

"Jasper could." I smiled a little, looking over at her.

"Well," She smirked slightly, "I suppose he could, but he wouldn't. It's his goal to let you keep as many positive emotions as you can."

"Missing someone is a positive emotion?"

"Yes." She replied, "It proves that it is possible for someone to make such an impact on your life, and that you're capable of allowing such an impact to be made."

"Oh." I mumbled, understanding now.

"So it's a good thing, Leandra." She said, "It might not feel that way, but what it proves is a good thing."

"I guess there's a lot more to these emotions than I've figured out."

"You're a bright kid, Leandra." She murmured, "Give yourself more credit."

A compliment from Rosalie was so very rare, I knew better than to argue with her about it. That, and she was an intimidating person. I wouldn't win an argument with her.

I smiled a little, "Thanks."

I wasn't surprised when she turned without another word, heading back into the house. I was surprised she came out here to talk to me at all, so I wasn't complaining. She didn't strike me as much of a talker.

The breeze blew again, and I closed my eyes. Just trying to remember the good points of Mikah that I never wanted to forget. There was more to being here than just visiting Alyssa, but I didn't want to admit that. This city was the last place I'd seen him, and I didn't want to lose that. I just wanted to hold onto that. As long as I could.

"I miss you." I whispered as silently as I could. I didn't exactly want Emmett or Rosalie to hear me talking to myself. That was just as bad as seeing things that weren't there. I'd already had to doubt my own sanity once in the last few weeks. I didn't especially feel like doing it again.

I was pretty sure I was allowed to stay out there as long as I did, because I wasn't trying to escape. Once I leaned against the wall, I didn't move. I could also feel one of the two of them watching me. Esme's instructions were to not let me out of their sight. That included now.

With it so dark out here, I was surprised I wasn't more nervous than I was. Especially on my own. It was warmer here than it was at home, so that was a definite plus. Late spring smelled different here than it did there, too.

I closed my eyes, hoping that helped the slight nervousness. When I got too comfortable with my eyes closed, I opened them again. Only to be startled into standing upright.

Down the hill, nearly at the park in the distance, someone was standing there. It was far too dark to see absolutely anything about them aside from the shape of him, but it scared me so bad to see anyone there at all where there had been no one just moments before. My heart sprinted, which seemed to alert both Emmett and Rose inside the house.

I'd just heard the door open behind me, when I blinked, and the one down the hill was gone.

"What's wrong?" Emmett asked, coming to my side. I kept my eyes on the spot I'd seen this person, unable to look away yet. It was a very unsettling feeling.

"Shorty?" He tried again, and I shook my head. Trying to shake myself out of it, just as I had the first time it'd happened.

"You okay?" He asked me the second I looked at him.

"Yeah." I replied, "It just happened again."

"You just saw someone?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Down over there." I said, nodding down the hill. He turned, obviously wanting to check it out. Probably just to be sure nobody had actually been there. Just to make me feel better.

He sighed, hopping over the wall. I couldn't move yet, still startled into stillness as I watched after him.

"Go inside." Rosalie told me, and instead of arguing with her, I turned as soon as I could remember how to. My instructions had been very clear. Listen to everything they tell me to do. I really didn't want to fuck this up, and make Rose hate me again. That, and I felt safer somehow being in the house.

They weren't out there very long. About a minute or two after I stepped inside, they followed.

"Nothing." Emmett sighed, "Did you see what this person looked like?" I shook my head before he was even finished asking.

"It was too dark." I replied, "I couldn't see."

"Well," He muttered, "We'll just see, then." I nodded a little. He didn't seem too worried, so I forced myself to calm down too. That was pretty difficult to do.

I wondered how long I'd be seeing things before it ever got to be normal. I wondered if the things I saw would change, or get clearer for me to see. I wondered a whole lot of things that I didn't even know how to describe or ask about. I was just a pretty big ball of confusion, and Emmett's apparent lack of worry helped.

"I'm probably not going to see Alyssa tonight." I gathered, and he looked to me.

"Are you sure?" He asked, "I could walk you over there right now if you want."

"It's too dark." I shook my head.

"I know you've been waiting forever to see her." He insisted, "We can go."

I groaned, "Fine."

"Oh, don't be so eager." He chuckled sarcastically, "What's bugging you?"

"I'm scared." I admitted, "What if Jon is there? Or Sammy?"

"I'll be there with you."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I replied, "I don't want you to wind up killing them just because they called me a stupid name or said something you didn't like. Jasper isn't here to make you calm down."

"Unless they don't keep their hands to themselves," He said, "I'll be good. I promise." I whined, hesitant. He sighed, "Scouts honor. Besides. After hearing the way Jack-ass talks to you, I get that what they say isn't that bad."

"Isn't that what I told you?" I asked.

"Yeah, but now I know that you weren't just making it up." He replied, lifting me off my feet, "Come on. We won't stay long."

"But it's dark." I argued.

"Then close your eyes."

I whined hesitantly again, but did as he said. I didn't dare open my eyes until I heard him knocking on their door. Letting me fall to my feet, he glanced to me as I glanced to him.

"Well, she's not here." I whispered, "Let's go back."

"She's here." He chuckled, "Give her a second."

He seemed distracted, though, as he glanced around himself, a subtle frown on his face. I jumped as the door suddenly opened. As if the door opener was in a hurry, and had just paused to see who was knocking at their door at eight-thirty in the evening.

Sure enough, it was Alyssa standing there, and her grin was just as contagious as Mikah's always used to be. She squealed, jumping out and hugging me.

"Is this a bad time?" I asked her as she stepped back, "I could come back tomorrow."

"No." She replied instantly, "Not a bad time at all. Come on in." She insisted, grabbing my hand and yanking me through the doorway.

She sure was a lot more enthusiastic than I remembered her being the last time I saw her. I followed willingly, with Emmett hesitating outside on the porch.

"I'll wait out here, shorty." He told me, and I glanced back at him, "Just call if you need anything." I couldn't exactly ask him what his deal was, so I just nodded a little. He didn't seem bothered, so it couldn't be that someone inside was bleeding.

"Just come on in if you change your mind." Alyssa told him, "It's unlocked." He smiled, giving her a nod.

"Hey." Alex took my attention from the stairs. His grin matching mine, "Where'd you come from?"

"All the way across the country." I answered, "I came by for a visit. Is that a crime? Which reminds me." I looked to Alyssa, "A promise is a promise."

"What promise?" She asked, laughing a little. I pointed out my loose tooth, and she immediately understood. Laughing again, clapping excitedly a few times, "It's loose?"

"Yup." I said, "And it took a lot to get here, so you're lucky it held on this long."

"Come on." She led me up the stairs, Alex turning and following us. She tugged me into the bathroom, flipping on the light.

From in the cabinet over the toilet, she pulled out a box of sterile packs of gauze. I appreciated that, laughing a little as she ripped open two packs eagerly, and laid them together. She pinned me back against the sink, peering at me. Thankfully, we were about the same height, with her maybe an inch or two taller than me. Otherwise I might have been more nervous.

"Go easy on me." I said, "I'm a wimp."

"You won't even know I'm there." We both laughed at that, "Open." I hesitantly did as she said, wincing a little as she gripped it with the gauze, "Ow."

"I haven't even pulled yet." She laughed, "Hold still." I whimpered in hesitancy, squeezing my eyes shut, but staying still.

Mine clearly wasn't as loose as hers had been, but it came out with very little fight. One good whimper from me, and she had it yanked out. She had to twist it a little, but other than that, it came right out.

"That was fun." She grinned, handing me the gauze, tooth and all, "Same time next week?" She opened one more pack of gauze and handed it to me, "Bite on this."

"Nothing else is loose yet." I laughed, turning to look in the mirror. A pretty decent gap now sat there, the gum slightly bleeding in the empty space left behind. I bunched the new gauze in the empty space, and lightly bit down briefly to stop the slight bleeding. It was more of a relief than painful.

"That was awesome." Alex chuckled, "You didn't even cry."

"It hurt a little," I said, "But not enough to cry. It's been bugging me for a week."

"I think this one is getting loose." She pointed out to the first of her bottom molar teeth.

"I already lost that one." I replied, looking over my own teeth again, "Like a few months after I turned nine."

"How old were you when your teeth first started falling out?" She asked me.

"I don't remember exactly." I answered, "Probably like five. It was this one that fell out first." I pointed to my left bottom front tooth, "And that scared the hell out of me. I was at school when it happened. I didn't even know that could happen."

"Nobody told you?" Alex asked, surprised. I shook my head, "What about the other kids?"

"I didn't pay any attention to them." I replied, "So maybe I just didn't notice. I was too busy worrying about other stuff."

"Mine was this one." Alyssa pointed to her right bottom front tooth, "But I wasn't scared. I was glad it was gone, because I wanted to get money."

"I never did get that." I admitted, "Why would anybody get money for teeth? I never did, and I lost a bunch of teeth."

"The tooth fairy." She laughed.

"Something parents came up with to keep kids from freaking out about their teeth falling out, I think." Alex added from the doorway, "Nothing but a bunch of bribery. Like, 'Here. Don't be scared. Have some money, and shut up.' It's bull."

"Maybe." I shrugged, "I never believed in crap like that. I still think that whole Santa thing is creepy. I mean, who wants someone to see you when you're sleeping?"

"Right?" Alyssa agreed, laughing.

"Emily still believes in Santa." Alex said, "But like two or three years ago, Aly and I were planning to beat up Santa for his bag of presents." I laughed a little, imagining that, "The cover was blown when we found Mikah instead. He tried to come up with some excuse about making sure the door was unlocked for him, but that didn't really work."

"Don't tell Emily." I told him, "Let her keep that, at least."

"She's getting suspicious." He shook his head, "But I won't say anything."

"Good." I muttered, leaning back away from the mirror, "Because if you ruin that for her, I'll punch you in the face."

"After I do." Alyssa added, and Alex raised his hands in surrender.

"Girls are mean." He muttered, turning with a laugh.

"So." Alyssa smiled, urging me from the bathroom, "What's new?" I shoved the gauze holding the tooth into my front jeans pocket. I wasn't sure why I didn't just throw it away.

"Oh boy." I sighed, "How much time do you have?"

"As much as you do." She replied, descending the stairs with me. Alex trailing.

"You first." I said, "What's new?"

"Um.." She frowned, obviously thinking, "Oh, well, did you hear about that guy?"

"What guy?" I asked, following her into the living room.

"Some guy." She answered, "He died just up the street from us like two weeks ago. Apparently, some kind of bear or something got a hold of him. I didn't see it, but I heard from the kid that lives across the street from us that they could barely tell it was a person."

"Wow." It was really hard to keep a straight face. Knowing full well that Rosalie had been the bear.

"Yeah." She replied, "I don't think they caught the bear yet, even though they've been looking for it non-stop."

"Probably not." I replied.

"I say that, because lots of people have been dying around here lately." She added, "Like.. Three or four people every other day." I blinked in surprise.

"That's a lot of people." What the hell had Rosalie been up to? Exterminating the whole city? One person was one thing.

"It's a lot like what's been going on in Seattle, they said." She went on, "They think it's either a really pissed off animal, or someone copying the murders there. Is Seattle close to where you live?"

"Kind of." I replied, "Like two or three hours away."

"So I don't have to worry?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Nah." I said, "No serial killer is getting anywhere near me. Trust me-" I cut myself off, "This thing is really hard to talk with." I poked the gap between my teeth, and she and Alex both laughed.

"You'll get used to it." Alex assured me.

"But no." I muttered, "You don't have to worry about me. It's not happening right in my own town like yours is."

"I'm not worried." She shook her head, "I never go anywhere. None of us do after what you told us about Jack."

"Good." I replied, nodding, "He's still loose, and I don't know who he's going to go after next. I'm thinking here, because my dad moved. My real dad, I mean."

"He was after your dad, too?" She asked, surprised.

"Yeah." I nodded, "He had my little sister, but he just.. Let her go."

"Whoa."

"He was trying to scare me into finding him myself, but nobody told me about it until she was already home." I sighed, "That same thing would work with you two, or Emily, so do what I say."

"Definitely stay inside." She muttered, looking over at Alex.

"It just means you gotta stay inside at night." I told them, "During the day, it should be a little safer."

"No kidding." She shook her head, "I can't even take the trash out until daytime. I'm too scared."

"Make Sammy do it." I grinned, and she returned it.

"No." She laughed, "It's a miracle he's still alive. I don't want to push it."

"Oh?" I was pretty curious. What was going on with Alyssa's youngest older brother?

"He's been getting on dad's nerves a lot." Alex explained, "They've been avoiding each other."

"Probably a good idea." I muttered, remembering full well what their father was obviously capable of. I looked down briefly, "What has he been up to?"

"No good." Alyssa muttered, "He's still collecting as many girlfriends as he can. Alex and I chased one off, but he's still got three more."

"He's so stupid." I grumbled.

"The newest one is twelve." Alyssa said, "Probably because he turns fourteen next month, and he doesn't want his girlfriend's dad to kill him for being way too old."

"Is Jonathan still giving him advice?"

"That never stopped." She confirmed, "Alex moved out of their room when they started bringing girls over." My eyes widened a little, looking over at Alex.

"It mostly started by them kicking me out for the night." He mumbled, with a shrug, "So I'd just sleep in Alyssa's room with them."

"Now he's pretty much moved in." She added, "But I don't care, and neither does Emily. It's kind of nice having someone else in there again."

"And I don't have to see whatever they're doing in there." Alex went on, "Not that I'm not curious, but they wouldn't let me watch anyway." It didn't take a genius to figure out what they were doing in that room, but it surprised me that they'd bring girls over where their little sisters could possibly overhear something. Mikah would have a cow.

I shuddered, "Ew." Alex shrugged as I shuddered.

"I don't care." He said, "It's actually better being in the girl's room."

I looked to Alyssa, "Did Alex take.. His bed?" I knew she knew who I was talking about.

"No." She replied, "The two twin beds in the corner were split up, and I took Mikah's bed." I saw the brief change of emotion in her eyes as she said his name, but it fixed itself almost instantly. She went on, "I'll take the couch if he ever comes back, but Emily's old enough to not roll off the bed and hurt herself anymore, so she gets her own corner now."

"That, and she hated having to sleep next to her brother." Alex laughed, "She never used to care."

"She's five, right?"

"She turns six on Monday." Alyssa nodded, "With working, I could save up a little bit to get her some stuff."

"And I got her some stuff by stealing from Jon." Alex grinned, "He never even noticed that twenty went missing."

"Yeah," Alyssa corrected, "He noticed. That was his pot money."

"Oops." Alex laughed again, "Oh well. This is more important anyway." Though curious, I wouldn't ask. Whatever 'pot' was, I knew Mikah wouldn't approve. If money went toward it instead of the house or his siblings, he wouldn't approve.

Inevitably, my thoughts remained toward Mikah, and inevitably, Alyssa noticed.

"But hey." Alyssa spoke up, "Tell me about your dad. What's he like?"

I accepted her change of subject, knowing I sure didn't want to cry the first night I'd seen her after so long. I imagined she'd done a lot more crying than I had, so I went along with it.

I told her all about everything I could think of regarding my dad. About my sister, Rachel and the baby about to be born. I told her about meeting my family just the day before, but I couldn't just tell her I'd met them exactly the day before. Otherwise, I couldn't have already been sitting there.

I told her I'd met them the week before, just to make the time match up, and it didn't really matter anyway. I quickly moved on to what my uncles were like, spending more time on that subject than I even really knew I could.

It didn't surprise me to look over, spotting Emmett stepping into the house. He'd finally taken Alyssa's advice to come inside, but it did surprise me to see Rosalie step in with him. To hide my surprise at her being there, I pointed out the new gap in my teeth to Emmett.

"Nice." He chuckled, "Mission accomplished?"

"Finally." I agreed.

"She can lose teeth anytime she wants to." Alyssa grinned, and we both laughed, "That was fun." At least now they knew I hadn't been making it all up.

Looking over, I thought Alex was going to die, or at very least throw up by the way he was staring at a very mildly annoyed Rosalie. He had never met her before, and from what I could tell, Emmett was very amused.

Sensing Rosalie's irritation, I poked Alex lightly with a couch pillow, and he hardly blinked. Waving it in front of his face. Nothing. I sighed a groan. I recognized this from the time Alice was unfortunate enough to meet Josh's friends at his birthday party the year before. It was just the same, maybe a little more intense.

Alyssa stole the pillow from me, and really hauled off and whacked him good across the face. He fell to the side, and that seemed enough to knock him out of whatever mental coma he'd slipped into. I grinned instantly, reminded of my own pillow-whacking activities toward a younger sibling.

It was oddly comforting to see that I wasn't the only one alive that hit my sibling like that. Actually using effort.

"Stop it." Alyssa told him. He shook his head, jumping up with a beet red face and a muttered excuse about how he needed to clean his side of the room before scurrying away in an odd sort of crouch, clutching tightly to the offending couch pillow with both arms.

"Leave the pillow." Alyssa called after him.

"No!" He shouted back, already half way up the stairs. She laughed, but I didn't understand the joke, weirdly enough. I was too concerned.

Up the stairs I heard a door close, and Alyssa clearly did too.

"That's the bathroom." She called, reminding him, "Don't stay in there forever." I didn't hear a reply, so either he was too far away, or he didn't bother.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked, looking to Alyssa. I'd never seen him act like that before.

"He's never been okay." Alyssa shrugged, "But he's been acting really weird lately. Spending like an hour in the bathroom when he never used to. I think he might be getting sick."

"I hope he's okay." I muttered.

"He'll be fine, shorty." Emmett chuckled, but I frowned a little. How would he know? With a shrug and a sigh, I looked around, and I finally seemed to notice.

"Where _is_ Emily?"

"She's at her friends house." She explained, "Her first sleep-over. I wanted to tell her no, but dad said she could. He outranks me. Dad knows her friend's dad real well. They work together."

"Yeah." I muttered, "She'll be okay." I sure hoped she would, at least.

"I'm surprised she's not back yet." She replied, "She gets homesick when we go to the store."

"She's got her friend with her." I pointed out.

"True." Alyssa allowed, "And she hates looking like a baby in front of anyone but me."

"Just like any other six year old." I observed, and she laughed.

"She's gotten mean." She told me, "Like.. I mean she still has her nice moods sometimes, but she's _mean_. She's turning into this.. Bossy little know-it-all that just drives me nuts. She was like that when she was like three or four, but not like this. I feel so bad, but sometimes, I just wanna kick her out a window or something."

"Don't kick her out a window." I laughed along with her, "I heard kicking anyone out a window is bad. Just tell her to shut up."

"Oh, I never tell her to shut up." She replied, "Not anymore. Now, if I tell her to shut up, she _never_ shuts up. She just.. Keeps going, just to piss me off."

"Then sit on her until she does." I said, "That sort of works for Josh when Zack gets annoying."

"Then she'll cry all fake-like, and run to dad or to Jon, and I'll get in trouble." She shook her head a little, "I just have to put up with it until she grows out of it. I swear, she thinks she can get away with everything, just because she's the baby. All she's gotta do is blink those blue eyes of hers, and everyone caves. The worst part? It works."

"Hmm.." I frowned, thinking.

"Yeah." She replied when I thought of nothing, "Maybe if I lock her in the bathroom, she'll stop her crap."

"Or bury her alive." I suggested, and she looked to me, "In a box, just for a little while. Tell her you're going to leave her in there until she dies, but don't leave her in there for too long, or she'll run out of air. I mean, don't want to actually kill her or anything." I grinned, and she laughed, "She'll be so grateful to be out of there, she'll never be a problem again."

"Maybe it's a good thing you don't have any younger brothers or sisters living with you." She said, "You come up with some of the meanest ideas sometimes."

"I'm just good at it, I guess." I shrugged a little.

"Anything less.." She trailed off, thinking of a word, "Harsh?"

"Hmm.." I paused, thinking, "Leave her at a stranger's house, and tell her that that's her real family? Tell her that you don't want her anymore, because she's such a bitch?"

"Ouch." Emmett muttered.

"Tie her up and leave her in the park?" I suggested, "Maybe someone would take off with her, and she'll be their problem then. Or you could chain her up out back. Maybe a hawk would peck at her. Or drown her a little in the tub."

"The tub?" She asked, shocked.

"Or toilet." I said, "Whatever you want, but don't hold her there until she dies. Just wanna scare her. So just sort of.. Pin her there, and dunk her a few times until she cries."

"Wow."

"Or toss her into a junk yard, and let the dogs chase her around." I added, "That one sounds fun."

"O-Kay." Alyssa laughed with a shudder, "That's enough ideas for one day."

"I've got a ton more." I laughed also, "Just let me know if you want more."

"I probably won't, but thanks." She replied, shuddering again, "That junk yard one.. She'd be ripped to shreds."

"I know." I smiled.

"You're scary." She laughed a little, "Remind me not to get on your bad side."

I looked over as the front door opened, Emmett and Rose turning to look as well. It was just Sammy. I didn't have to be too nervous. I knew how bad Jon and Emmett hated each other, but I wasn't exactly happy to see Sammy, either.

"Where've you been?" Alyssa asked him. He looked up, finally spotting me.

"Hey, look who it is." He grinned.

"Don't start." I warned him, and he laughed.

"I'll be good this time." He said, "I promise." Smart move with Rosalie standing right there, as she more than likely wasn't afraid to slap the stupid out of him. Emmett might have promised, but she hadn't.

"Where've you been?" Alyssa asked again, and he shrugged.

"Over at Kelly's place." He replied. I assumed Kelly was one of his three girlfriends.

"We saved you some dinner." She told him, "It's in the kitchen."

"Thanks." He nodded a little, "Is dad home yet?" He sure seemed to be behaving himself. I almost started to let my guard down.

"Not yet." Alyssa answered him, "He said he's working until eleven tonight."

"Good." Sammy sighed, "I got time." He looked to me, "Good seeing you."

"I-uh.. You too." I said, stunned. With that, he turned. Heading up the stairs. Not one piggish remark, or suggestive comment.

"Well, that was different." I muttered, surprised.

"I think we worked some kind of thing out the day I hit him." She explained, "Either that, or he figured out how to grow up. He's not so bad anymore."

"Oh, yeah." I laughed, "I forgot about that." Meaning, what happened the last time I saw him. The day Alyssa slapped some sense into him.

"I haven't." She replied, "My hand _still_ hurts from that. He might still be gross, but he's not bad anymore."

We weren't there very much longer, but Alyssa and I made plans to meet at the park the next morning. I wasn't sure about spending much time in that park, considering the memories I had stashed there, but if she didn't have a problem with it, I guess I couldn't either.

We made it home uneventfully, though it was a little weird to be walking along with Rosalie next to me. I was used to walking with Emmett, but not her. Though I was quiet, my mind was anything but.

It was still a little tough to believe how much I could miss this house. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that I knew that I'd be going back to Washington in just a few days, but I now saw this place with a little more of an open mind.

"You missed everything." I accused Emmett as we got inside, "What were you doing out there?"

"Nothing." He replied, "Just making sure the place was clear. Can't be too careful after you 'saw' that person out there, can we?" That explained it. I nodded a little, accepting that and continuing on into the kitchen.

I hesitated before I looked to him again, "Is it okay that I said I could go to the park tomorrow?"

"You know I'll be watching." He said, "Besides. You should be fine if you stay together." I found my usual seat at the now familiar kitchen table.

"Then why'd you get so mad that one night?" I asked, "Mikah said it would have been a two-for-one."

"Just stay closer to the house than the street." He sighed, sitting next to me, "As far as I know, they don't know you're here. Anyone here would be looking for Alyssa. Not you."

I nodded again, accepting that as well.

"Just have to be careful." I said, "Just because they don't know I'm here, doesn't mean they won't be able to find out."

"Exactly."

"I guess I'm just a little nervous." I muttered, "Look what happened after the first time I saw somebody."

"So tomorrow," He suggested, "Make up some excuse to come back here. Bring them over here. You know you don't have anything to worry about with us." He had a point there. Thinking about it, I finally nodded.

"Yeah." I replied, "I like that idea."

"You'll be fine, shorty." He assured me, "Neither of us would let anything happen."

That reminded me, "What has Rosalie been doing?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, Alyssa said that the guy that died near her house was killed by some kind of animal." I replied, "But they think the animal is still out there because a bunch of people have been dying since. Is she trying to kill everybody?" Looking over, he'd seemed to tense.

"Well," He finally seemed to remember how to talk, "That wasn't her."

"Alyssa said they think someone is trying to copy the killings in Seattle." I muttered, "I don't think that would be Jack. It'd be too risky, wouldn't it?"

"It would." He replied, but didn't say much else.

"What's wrong?" I asked, catching on to his mood.

"I was just hoping you wouldn't have heard about that." He sighed, "You don't need to be worrying about so much at once."

"If it wasn't Rosalie," I said, "Then who was it?"

"Well, look at the time." He very obviously attempted to change the subject, "I think it's time for bed."

"You're not going to answer, are you?"

"Nope." He replied, standing up, "It's time for bed."

"But I'm not tired." I argued, "It's only like six o'clock at home."

"Well, here, it's nine."

"And still too early for me to go to bed." I added.

"Shorty." He sighed, giving me a look.

"Okay, okay." I grumbled, "I'll stop asking about it. I don't want you to get mad at me again, anyway."

"That's not happening again." He said, "Just.. Trust me, okay? You'll be just fine, and that's all you need to know."

"Okay." I mumbled defensively. I pursed my lips a little in the silence that followed, studying my hands on the tabletop. I finally looked over at him, "Do my questions really bother you that much?"

"It's not the questions that bother me, shorty." He replied, "It's that I can't answer you. With so much already going on with you, the last thing I want to do is add to that."

"Can't, or won't?" I asked, "There's a big difference."

"Both." He said, "Shorty, you're ten. When we say you can't be worrying about so much, we mean it. If you haven't guessed by now, it's one of our many goals to keep you out of a mental hospital."

"How do you know I don't belong in one already?" I asked, sitting straighter. He obviously didn't like that, giving me another look. I insisted, "Really. It can't be normal to be the way I am. What if I'm already crazy?"

"Then it couldn't hurt to keep things from you anyway." He replied, "No need to make that worse." I scowled a little, not appreciating that, "Where did that come from anyway?"

"A lot of things." I said, "I know that the things I told Alyssa to do to Emily isn't normal. I know it's not normal for someone to think of ways to torture people."

"Well.." He started, "That's understandable. Look at who taught you those things."

"But to want to see those things happen?" I asked, looking over, "And think of more?"

"How could you possibly have more ways?"

"There are plenty of ways to kill people." I said, "And just as many ways to scare them. It's even better if you know what they're afraid of." He stayed quiet this time. Probably trying to think of some way to respond, so I spoke again, "Never mind. Don't say anything to that."

"That's not like you." He frowned a little, "Has it been like that for awhile?"

"It's gotten worse." I admitted, running my hands over the table top, "But that's not the only reason."

"What else?" He asked.

"My bed." I muttered, finally admitting it. Confused, he frowned a little, "I know why my bed being moved made it easier for me to sleep."

"And why is that?" He asked. His tone was mildly curious, though I knew he really wanted to know.

"I've been noticing things." I started, "Little things about me that I never noticed before. My dreams have changed, and sometimes, it takes me awhile to remember them. Like.. They're still the same things I always dream about, but when I wake up, it's hard to.. It's like I don't recognize those memories. Like I see them differently. Like they're not my memories. I can sleep through them now. Maybe I just finally started getting used to seeing those things, but I don't know."

He stayed quiet, knowing to just let me talk by now.

"When I lived with Jack.." I went on, but he spoke up. Not liking this direction.

"Shorty-"

"When I lived with Jack," I repeated as if he hadn't just tried to stop me, "I had my routines, like I told Alice. Like Edward said. The things I'd do during the day, just wanting to pass the time until nighttime.

"I'd do everything I said I'd do, but I would sleep, too." I hesitated, "I didn't get very much sleep at night, even after he left my room, but when I could sleep, I slept a lot. I made myself sleep as much as I could, because I wasn't sure when I'd be able to sleep again.

"My bed.." I sighed, "My bed there, when I lived with Jack was a lot smaller than the one I have at home. I'd had that bed for as long as I can remember, and it wasn't very comfortable, but it was better than sleeping on the floor."

He obviously had no idea where I was going with this, so I decided to just come out with it.

"My bed there was in the corner of the room." I said, "Just like my bed at home now. I would always fall asleep facing the wall, because I hated being able to look around. It was the only way I actually could fall asleep. Facing the wall. Just like I do now."

He understood now, given the slow nod and the sigh he gave.

"It's like I haven't even tried to get used to anything else." I muttered, "Like I haven't just spent the last year away from that place."

"Shorty," He said, "That's going to take time. The way you think isn't going to change over night. When you slept, that was your time. Your time to rest, and recover, right?"

"Right." I mumbled.

"And you really appreciated the time you had to sleep, right?"

"Right." I repeated.

"Then there's your answer." He replied, "Facing the wall comforts you now just as much as it did then. If it comforts you, why question it?"

"Because it's not normal."

"It's plenty normal." He countered, "You're comfortable how you're comfortable. Besides. I don't think it has anything to do with your life before."

"You don't?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful.

"I don't." He confirmed, "It's just your preference. It's normal for people to keep sleeping habits from when they're kids their whole life. Some people never change the way they like to sleep. It's not that you're comparing now to then, shorty. It's just how you like to sleep. No big deal."

He believed that. His belief in his own words was very obvious.

"On that note," He said, "Do you want me to move your room upstairs around?"

"Please?" I sighed, allowing it, "I like to lay on my right side."

"Not a problem, shorty." He smiled a little, standing up again. I chose to stay seated there as he turned, leaving the kitchen. Headed for the stairs. He believed I was normal. I wished I could believe it as much as he did.

I had to admit, though. He was pretty good at pep-talking. I'd gotten that worry out of the way for the most part, but there was a more pressing one.

Standing up, I decided a little more fresh air was in order as I moved for the back door. Taking a deep breath the second I stepped outside, I let the door close silently behind me.

Instead of moving from the porch, though, I sat down on the steps. Actually thinking twice about wandering too far when nobody knew I was out here. With nobody knowing I was out here, even the yard didn't feel safe. The top step of the porch was as far as I willing to go. Especially after 'seeing' that person in the dark earlier.

It was tough. Really hard to wrap my head around everything going on, so I could see why nobody wanted to tell me anything regarding anything. I wasn't even sure why I wanted to know so bad.

Maybe it had something to do with the original vision. Maybe I just wanted to understand. Maybe I thought that if I knew what had them so worked up, I'd figure out more of the vision. Had any of this happened before?

Maybe I just wanted to know what was going on, so I could know how far or how close Jack was to me. They knew that better than I did. Maybe I wanted to know how close he was to me, so I could start counting my breaths again.

A weight was out there. A darkness, darker than the night around me waiting to drown me forever.

Was this really what it meant to be human? Was I the only one, or were other people just clinging to life, trying so hard to hold onto what they'd been given? Scrambling desperately to hold on.

I just wanted my life. I wanted my friends, I wanted my family. I just wanted a day, one single day when I didn't have to worry about losing everything. That was a pain I wouldn't live with. When hurting them, or living with the pain were my only options.

Whether losing them, or them losing me, I had a choice to make.

Somehow, sitting around and letting everyone take these risks for me didn't seem like progress. It felt like the opposite of progress. Just sitting, waiting to die didn't seem right to me. Especially when I had no idea how close or how far death was from me.

Taking a deep breath, I sighed it out heavily.

"Where are you, Mikah?" I asked, aching with the weight of that question. What I wouldn't give to have his advice right now. His easy smile. The one he always gave away so easily.

I wondered where he was. What he was doing. Refusing to think about how many lives he'd taken as a vampire. I couldn't imagine him as anything other than my best friend. I couldn't think of him as anyone other than the person who always seemed so bright, especially when everything else around me seemed so dark.

I missed him, and I'd come to accept that, but I was far from healed. It still ached horrendously. More so tonight, no doubt because of where I was. It hurt. It still hurt, and I knew it'd always hurt. The night he disappeared, I lost a part of me, as weird as it sounded.

What Mikah represented to me, even now, was something that hurt to have taken from me.

I suddenly felt mad at Mikah.

Didn't he care about his family at all? Why'd he have to just run off and abandon everyone that cared so much about him? Didn't he care how bad everyone was missing him? Didn't he care about how much his family was hurting? Didn't he care at all?

He had no right to go away the way he did. He had no right to leave everyone behind the way he did. He had no right to do that to us. He had no right to do that to me. He was selfish, and I hated him. He was selfish, and I hated him, but I missed him. I missed him so bad, I hated to think about him. I hated thinking about him, but I wanted to think about him.

The earlier questions I'd had suddenly changed. They became much more focused.

Didn't he care about me at all? Why'd he have to just run off and abandon me, when I cared so much about him? Didn't he care how bad I was missing him? Didn't he care how much I was hurting? Didn't he care at all?

"Shorty?" Emmett had chosen the worst possible time to come looking for me. Stepping outside behind me just as I started to cry. I tried my best to hide it, but I should have known better.

With a sigh, he sat down beside me.

He didn't try to talk me out of crying. He didn't try to joke, or comfort me. He knew why I was crying, and he didn't say anything. Letting the silence around us be the comfort I needed.

I lost track of how long I sat there next to Emmett, sobbing like a baby. Crying funeral tears over someone that was perfectly fine. Mikah was out there somewhere, perfectly fine and here I was. Pathetically missing him. I felt so stupid. I knew it was stupid, but that didn't take any of the pain. I just wanted him back.

Emmett was quiet the whole time, staying beside me like he worried about leaving me alone. Just sitting, watching out over the dark around us while I had my cry. When I finally took a deep, shaky breath to signify the end of my crying session, he looked over.

"Your room is ready for you, shorty." He told me, and I nodded. Sniffling as I did so, just to try to compose myself. I doubted that that would be the only crying session I would have while I was here. As much as this visit was for Alyssa, it was for Mikah just as much, and I knew they knew that. Maybe after this, we'd go home, and I wouldn't think about him anymore. Maybe after this, I'd be able to finally let him go.

I was in bed a few minutes later, laying awake in the dimly lit room. Staring at the wall I faced. My thoughts of nothing but Mikah, just as they had been for the majority of the night.

Being here, as alone as they were willing to let me be, I knew I had all the freedom in the world to think and feel whatever I wanted to think and feel. As relieved as I was to be able to cry without having Esme worry about me, I did miss her. Maybe it was homesickness, but it wasn't near as bad as I half expected it to be.

When I fell asleep, I never saw it coming. At first, my dreams were about Mikah. The times I spent with him. It wasn't a surprise that I dreamed about those times, because they had been on my mind non-stop moments before I fell asleep.

When I woke up, though, it was to Alex jumping up and down on the bed next to me, and grumpily, I shoved him off the bed. He rattled the floor on his landing, jarring my bedside table and the lamp on it audibly.

"What the fuck?" I grumbled.

"Ow." He mumbled from the floor as Alyssa stepped on him to get to the side of the bed. Emily stood full weight on his back, causing him to laugh through a groan. Looking at Emily now, I was reminded of the conversation I'd had with Alyssa the night before about her. It seemed so strange that I'd ever think about stuff like that. She was so much smaller than me. More helpless than anything.

"Never do that again." I muttered to Alex, sitting up and shaking off those thoughts.

"You slept in." Alyssa laughed a little, sitting next to me on the bed, "So we thought we'd come hunt you down."

"You're not the first to hunt me down." I sighed, looking over at her sleepily.

"And we were out anyway to get Emily from her friend's house." Alex mumbled from the floor, pushing himself up.

"So early?" I mumbled, glancing to the clock. To my surprise, it was nearly noon, "Holy shit." Had that much time really passed? Maybe it was thanks to my crying bit the night before, or maybe I was just used to sleeping this late, considering back home, it wasn't even nine in the morning yet.

"Yeah." She laughed, "You must have been more tired than you thought, huh?"

"You look like a baby chipmunk when you sleep." Alex pointed out, sitting toward the end of the bed.

"And you couldn't wake the chipmunk up in a better way?" I asked, and he grinned.

"So it's just your brother and sister here with you?" Alyssa asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah." I replied, "I didn't want to drag everybody with me."

"Well, not that I can blame you, but won't you be lonely?" She was always so concerned about my loneliness level. Like it was the most important thing in the world to have a ton of people around me at all times.

"Nah." I sighed, "We're not going to be here that long."

"How long?"

"Three days." I said, "Not counting last night, because that didn't count."

"So today, tomorrow, and Tuesday?" She asked.

"Yeah. We'll probably go back on Wednesday."

"Or I'll hide you, and never let you leave." I laughed at her response. That reminded me clearly of when I'd wanted to hide Zack and Josh during their visit here. I wished she'd stop reminding me of things associated with Mikah. Though I doubted that would make much difference, considering she looked just like him. Her hair was much longer than his had been, of course, but she had the same deep black hair color, and the same steely gray eyes that he had.

Each time I had to think about him, though, it hurt all over again. She might have been doing better, but the only thing I'd gotten better at was hiding it. Unless she was just as good at hiding it as I was.

"Emmett and Rosalie might not like that." I pointed out, climbing out of bed.

"That means you'll be here for Emily's birthday." She smiled, "Tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah." I smiled a little, "I forgot." I looked to Emily as she used Alex to climb up on the bed herself, "Happy early birthday."

"I like pink stuff." She replied matter-of-factly, "And I like horses. Buy me something pink, or a horse."

"Emily." Alyssa frowned at her, "That was really rude." But I found it amusing. She actually was pretty bossy. Not quite as bossy as Lily, but still quite bossy. Is that what six year olds were supposed to be like? My sixth year alive was something I didn't really remember, aside from one specific event I would trade for any other memory in the world.

"I've got a better idea." I said, finally climbing out of bed. I stepped across the room, and kneeled next to my bag. From inside the side pocket, I pulled out a ten dollar bill, and returned to give it to her.

"Here." I said, "Happy birthday. Buy yourself a pink horse."

"Thank you." She smiled, looking it over excitedly.

"That was really nice of you." Alyssa told me, "You didn't have to do that."

"Nah, no biggie." I replied, "I'm not that good at gift picking. Now she can get whatever she wants."

"My birthday was yesterday." Alex spoke up, "Where's my money?" I didn't buy it.

"I have a penny around here somewhere." I muttered, and he laughed.

"How far is it from here to where you live?" Alyssa asked, turning to a different subject. Settling further on the bed as she did so. She didn't even seem to notice the fact that my bedroom furniture had been moved around.

"I don't know." I replied, "Pretty far. It takes like two days to get here." It was supposed to take two days, but when in a hurry, it was fifteen minutes.

"Wow."

"Let me get dressed and stuff, and we can go." I told her, "But I have to stay close to the house."

"Okay." She agreed, knowing full well my reason behind that.

I chose to get dressed in the bathroom, that way I could brush my teeth at the same time. Just to speed things up. I would have preferred not to leave the house at all, so I recalled Emmett's suggestion.

"We could stay here?" I offered from the bathroom, "And watch movies or something?"

"Sure." Alyssa didn't seem to mind that in the slightest, actually enthusiastic about it. Score. That had been a whole lot easier than I had expected it to be.

Emily was quickly getting on my nerves, though. Very quickly as the day wore on. I wouldn't take the ten bucks back, but she was _very_ annoying.

It was supposed to be pizza for lunch, but apparently, Emily had just had pizza the night before at her stupid sleep-over, so she had to have chicken nuggets instead. She didn't like grape soda, so she had to have strawberry instead, because it was 'pink'. She didn't like sitting on the floor, so she had to take Alex's spot in the chair.

Emmett didn't mind adding a little more to the food he ordered for us, but it bugged me to no end.

She didn't like the movie _everyone_ had agreed on, so in the middle of it, we had to change it to something she wanted to watch.

"How the hell do you live with that?" I asked Alyssa, surprised, "I'd have kicked her out a window a long time ago."

She laughed, "Yeah, it bugs, but I think it's different when she's related."

"She should be glad she's not related to me." I said, "I wouldn't put up with that crap."

"Believe me, I agree with you." Alyssa laughed, and I joined, "I wouldn't want to be related to you either. As a younger sibling, at least."

Watching the mindless movie Emily had chosen, I couldn't help letting my thoughts wander. Emily was turning six the next day. Somehow, that made me really nervous. I couldn't help expecting another of Jack's attempts sometime soon, because of Emily's age. If what happened with Lily was any indication, he wouldn't stop there. Maybe this time, he wouldn't just let her go.

"What are you guys doing tomorrow?" I asked, looking over at Alyssa, "For her birthday?"

"No idea." She said, "Probably nothing big, since we have school. I couldn't afford a cake, but she'll get her presents, and I'll probably take her to get some ice cream or something." That didn't sit right with me. I didn't want them out wandering on a day like tomorrow.

"Your dad won't help with that?" I frowned.

"He's not big on birthdays." She admitted, "I think I would have forgotten my own birthday if Mikah never reminded me every year." I envied her. Having Mikah remind her of the day of her birth would be a lot better than the yearly reminders I'd had from Jack growing up.

"Well.." I muttered, "Come over here tomorrow. After school. It'd probably be more fun here." And a whole lot fucking safer.

She blinked in surprise, "Are you sure? I mean, Emily will probably be extra bossy tomorrow."

"I'll live." I replied, "You're supposed to be spending time with me anyway." Way to spin it.

"Well, dad and Jon will be at work until late." She mused, "I guess we could do that."

"Good, then it's settled." I mumbled, looking to the TV again. Alyssa did the same, so I looked over at where Rose and Emmett sat talking near the kitchen. They'd heard what I said, as they looked to me. I offered an apologetic smile, but they didn't seem too upset about it.

I had my reasons, though. Which I explained the second I could. I offered to take the dishes to the kitchen, which gave me the opportunity to talk to them about it.

"You sure about this, shorty?" Emmett asked me as I approached. He stood up to follow me into the kitchen. Rosalie followed him, just as silent as she always was.

"Yeah." I replied, glancing to Rosalie as I placed the dishes in the sink, "Emily turns six tomorrow."

"And..?" He prompted.

"Jack took Lily because she's six." I explained, "That age means something to him, remember? It means something to him, because it means something to me, and he knows it does. I'm worried that he's going to try something."

"Good thinking." Emmett replied, "Okay. Well, now we know to keep a closer watch." I nodded a little.

"I just don't want to take any chances." I admitted, and he nodded.

"That makes our job easier anyway." He told me, "Having the vulnerable ones in one spot makes it much easier to watch them." I nodded this time.

To my complete surprise, it was Rosalie that suggested they spend the night here that night. Probably to make their job even easier, but I didn't mind.

After stopping by that evening to gather them some clothes, and to let a very uninterested Jon know where they'd be that night, I helped Alyssa gather the already wrapped gifts to take them back with us too. Just so they could come straight from school to our house the next day.

Alyssa had three for Emily, and Alex had two. We hid them in the hall closet, on the top shelf, just so Emily wouldn't get any bright ideas. I couldn't even reach them, so I knew Emily couldn't if she were to try.

Emily fell asleep first that night, despite her insistence that she could stay up as long as we could. When I noticed she was falling asleep in her chair, I brought everyone up into my room, just so she could pass out where she should. She didn't even make it to ten-thirty.

Alyssa, Alex and I all sat up. It was a warmer night, so we sat out on the balcony to talk, just to keep from waking Emily up.

Alex was a little tired, but Alyssa and I were fine.

"So what is it like?" Alyssa asked, "Where you live?"

"A lot different from here." I replied, "Almost every single day there are clouds in the sky, and the sun isn't as warm as it is here."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I replied, "But it's a smaller town. Much smaller than here. Not much happens there."

"It all happens in Seattle." She pointed out, "I'd be so scared."

"How are you not scared here?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know." She mumbled, shrugging, "I just figure none of us are important enough for someone to want to kill. I mean, we go everywhere together, and are never outside after dark. Why would anyone bother?"

"Keep doing that." I said, "It's safer that way." Alex nodded, agreeing with me, "I just wish Sammy would work harder to protect you guys."

"He's too busy chasing tail." Alex muttered.

"Just not Jonathan or dad." Alyssa added, "I can barely stand to look at them anymore." I looked down. I honestly didn't know what to say to that.

"They're suffering enough, Alyssa." Alex told her, "Since Mikah isn't around to work too, they have to work a lot more."

"Good." She grumbled, "I hope they're miserable."

"You shouldn't hate your own family like that." Alex replied to her, "I mean, there was never any proof dad did anything to Mikah. All you saw was Mikah going somewhere with him."

"I don't care." Alyssa countered, "He was the last of us to ever see him. That's proof enough for me." She looked over at me, "I'm gonna kill my dad one day."

"Oh, geez." Alex rolled his eyes, "Here we go."

"I'm serious." She snapped lightly at him, "I am."

Alyssa's hate obviously ran deeper than I thought. I worried for her.

"You shouldn't think about stuff like that, you know." I finally said.

"Wouldn't you?" She asked, "I mean, if you found out one of your family members killed another, wouldn't you want to kill the one that did it?"

"No." I replied honestly, "Then where does it stop? _If_ your dad did something, I seriously doubt he meant to kill him. Just because they never got along, doesn't mean he killed Mikah."

"See?" Alex asked.

"Well, still.." Alyssa was sticking by it.

"But then you kill your dad, for supposedly killing Mikah." I went on, "Then Emily kills you for you killing your dad. Alex kills Emily for killing you. Sammy kills Alex for killing Emily-"

"I get it." She shut me up.

"I just.." I sighed, "I think it'd be better for you guys to stick together. You've lost enough." She looked down again, "All that stuff I said last night, about Emily, I was just kidding. She's your sister. I think she'd rather have you with her, than you in prison for the rest of your life."

"I know." She muttered, obviously disappointed.

"We all miss him." I offered, hoping that helped her. Alex nodded again, agreeing once more.

"What would you do if you were me?" She asked, looking over at me. From the light below us in the front yard, I could see that her eyes were a bit shinier than usual.

"I don't know." I admitted, "I wouldn't be able to do it."

"Mikah taught me a lot." She replied, "Sammy might have been the first one he took care of, but I'm the first one that learned anything about taking care of myself and everyone else."

"Sammy misses him just as much." I told her, "There's no way he can't."

"That's what I said." Alex muttered, "She just doesn't believe me."

"He's probably just dealing with it on his own." I added.

"Do you miss him?" She asked, and I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Tell the truth, and possibly make her feel worse? Or lie, and make her think I wasn't upset about it anymore? Then I considered it. There's no way I could lie without her knowing I was lying.

"Yeah." I finally said, "I do. So much, I try not to think about it." She nodded, accepting that. That obviously didn't sound so weird to them.

"Me too." She admitted, "But that's hard to do. I mean, everything around that house reminds me of him. I can barely stand to go into the kitchen anymore." I knew the reason behind that. The kitchen was where the fight happened.

I nodded this time, sighing, "I can't blame you."

She sighed heavily, "Why'd he have to go away like that?" I looked up, "I mean, didn't he know how much we needed him?" I couldn't exactly blame her for thinking that way, as I'd had my own moment of blaming him.

"Don't do that." Alex told her, "You know he never would have left if he had a choice."

"You're the one defending dad." She argued right back, "Even if he didn't kill him, he's still the reason Mikah's not here."

"I'm just trying to keep you from doing something stupid to him."

"I wouldn't have to, if he hadn't done what he did to Mikah." Alyssa countered, "It's not my fault."

"Stop." I spoke up, "Stop, guys." Not only did I not like them arguing, but their voices were loud enough to possibly wake Emily up.

"You're acting stupid." Alex shook his head, still wanting to argue with his sister.

"You're the one not giving a crap about Mikah." She shot back.

"Who says?" He puffed up, obviously offended, "Just because I'm not all for killing dad? That's just stupid."

"You're stupid." She replied, "You know I'm right. You just won't admit it."

"Stop it." I said again, firmer this time, and this time they both looked to me, "You're going to wake up Emily."

Alex looked down as Alyssa sighed, "Sorry."

"I know." I said, "But just think about it. Do you really think Mikah would want you two fighting with each other? That's not what he would want, so.. Just do whatever you think he would want. We all know that he would be here if he could, but since he isn't here, that means that he can't be here, so he needs you guys to keep everyone together. Got it?"

"Got it." Alex muttered, sighing sadly.

"I mean.." I went on, "What good does it do anybody to turn on each other? Alex is right. It shouldn't be that way. I know it's hard, but knock it off."

"You're right." Alyssa nodded a little, until she smiled slightly over at me, "I swear, sometimes it seems like you've known Mikah as long as I have."

"Right?" Alex laughed a little.

"I'm just.." I waved it off, standing up, "Good at getting to know people, I guess."

Thankfully, they accepted that. We went to bed ourselves not long later, but it was Alyssa's idea to leave the balcony doors open. I didn't protest, since I appreciated the small breeze myself.

Emily was already taking up the spot on the bed closest to the wall, so Alyssa fit herself in the middle of the bed, and I took the outside edge. One night sleeping here wouldn't kill me, I figured.

I'd made Alex a little nest of blankets on the floor, so he was down there. I could fit three people in my bed, but not four.

I wound up having to whack Alex with a pillow halfway through the night, because he seemed to be talking in his sleep. It was only a fleeting sound, but slightly awake, I reacted.

"Ow!" He grumbled sleepily, "What?"

"Shut up." I grumbled right back, "You're loud."

"I wasn't doing anything." He huffed, but rolled to his side anyway.

Falling back to sleep, I woke probably not very long later to the sound of the balcony doors closing. Opening my eyes, it was Emmett.

"Leave them open." I muttered.

"No, shorty." He replied quietly, "Just go back to sleep, and don't open them again." I just laid my head back down, closing my eyes. Behind where I laid, Alyssa rolled over to face her sister. Her back to me. Once everything was still, I drifted off again.

The following morning, I was reminded what it was like having to get up early to get ready for school. Emily apparently still took nightly baths, so she didn't bother to take a shower, and nobody pressed it. Alyssa used my bathroom, and though there were other showers Alex could use, he waited with me until Alyssa was done.

Teeth were brushed, including my own, and it was downstairs with all of us. Luckily, the cereal was already sitting out, since they were pretty close to becoming late for school. I was still half asleep, tired from getting woken up a few times during the night, and definitely still not used to the time difference, or getting up this early.

Emmett gave the three of them a ride to school. I tagged along, of course, just because I wanted to. They got the back seat, I got the front. Just because I didn't want to be crammed into the back seat with three other people.

"Is this such a good idea?" I asked as we watched them head for the school. Crossing the street in a hurry.

"What do you mean?"

"Lily was taken from school." I muttered, "Maybe we should have kept them out of school for today."

"You didn't expect me to just leave them here, did you?" He asked me, "We're waiting here."

"Oh." I said, understanding now, "In case someone shows up."

"Yup." He replied, "We just wait."

That was a lot more boring than I expected it to be. I understood why he didn't want to leave them long enough to take me back home, as he was extra cautious, but that didn't do anything good for my boredom level.

I had to have kicked Emmett in the shoulder for an hour straight, just for something to do. He didn't seem the slightest bit bored, or even bothered by what I was doing. Eventually choosing to take a two hour snooze in the back seat. Both because I was tired, and to pass the time.

I knew Emmett wouldn't be able to get out and physically stop anyone from taking Emily, as he probably had every intention of following whoever it was to kill them discreetly, but I sure could. When I finally got back up front, I was bored, but I was alert again. Watching for anything out of place, or anyone I didn't like.

About thirty minutes before school was let out for the day, the parents started showing up to pick up their kids, so I knew to watch closer. The school buses not long after that, lining up in their usual spots.

I sighed, pushing open my door and hopping out in one quick motion, "I'm getting closer."

"Shorty, no." He called after me, but I was already closing my door, "Dammit, get back in here. Someone could see you."

I ignored him, glancing both ways up and down the street before darting across. He cursed from the car, but I found a good spot safely outside the front entrance doors. Right under one of the many cameras hanging from the building. I made sure it could see me, just in case. I could still see Emmett's glare from where I stood, so I knew he could see me.

When school let out, and the kids started pouring from the front entrance doors beside me, I waited. I watched each kid that walked out closely. Alyssa found me first, and she came over with a smile.

"Hey." She greeted, "You didn't have to wait out here for us."

"We've been here a little while." I laughed nervously, "I wanted to move around. Where's Emily?"

"She's coming." She replied, and I watched as Alex emerged from the school next, "The younger ones are usually walked out by their teacher, remember?"

"Oh yeah." I muttered. I'd already forgotten that part.

Each minute that passed, I grew a little more nervous. Had something happened that I hadn't seen? Could someone have slipped in through the back?

Two other Kindergarten classes came out before Emily's, and at first, I didn't see her. Until one particularly fat five year old moved away, and she looked up. I sighed heavily in relief, hiding it the best I could as she came running over.

"Look." She said to Alyssa, handing her a piece of paper, "I made this."

It was a drawing of her family, with a whole lot of flowers. Of course, those flowers were pink.

"Wow." Alyssa smiled at her, "That's awesome, Emily." Emily grinned in pride, hopping a little.

It was actually pretty good. It was mainly the usual six-year-old block shaped people standing together, and she even managed to add clothes. The grass under them was pretty detailed, as were the flowers. The clouds white, the sky blue.

To my surprise, though, she had included Mikah in this drawing. That had to be torture on Alyssa. I gave her an apologetic look, and she offered a small smile that told me it was fine. It must have been normal for Emily to do this.

After our discussion the night before, I actually wondered what Emily's take on the whole situation was. I doubted I'd ever ask her, but I was curious nonetheless.

"Why is this one upside down?" I asked Emily, pointing to the smaller drawn person apparently standing on its head.

"That's Alex." She answered, "He's weird." I had to laugh at that, because it was true.

"Come on, weirdo." He said, lowering into a slight crouch. Taking the hint, Emily climbed onto his back with a laugh, "We've got a ride today. We don't have to walk."

"Yay. My feet won't fall off." Emily replied, though I doubted she had to walk far at any time, since riding on Alex's back seemed normal to her.

Shaking my head, Alyssa and I followed the two of them toward the street. He spotted the car easily, and paused long enough for a car to drive by before crossing. I made sure everyone was in the back seat before bothering to get into the front passenger seat myself. Just so there were no surprises.

I might have been a little overly-cautious, but that was just fine with me. I actually wondered whether or not anyone had been there to try taking any of them. I wondered if I had foiled anyone's plans.

Emmett wasn't happy with me, giving me a look that made me bite my lip. I knew exactly why he wasn't happy. Nothing had gone wrong, but the fact that I refused to listen to him made him mad. The fact that I hadn't done what he told me to do bothered him.

The trip to the house was quiet. He wouldn't speak to me, but those in the back seat chatted away easily. Not even noticing how quiet it was up front.

The tiny 'party' we'd had for Emily's birthday was pretty uneventful.

To my surprise, though, there had been a chocolate sheet cake prepared for her, waiting in the kitchen when we got home. White icing, and nearly covered with pink flowers and hearts, along with the words, 'Happy Birthday Emily' scrawled across the center. Nothing extravagant or flashy, but it was more than enough to please Emily, and for Alyssa to nearly cry in appreciation. Rosalie wasn't so bad.

Rosalie obviously didn't want what she'd done to be made into a big deal, so I stopped at thanking her. I didn't want to risk ruining that from happening again. I just hadn't been expecting something like this from her.

It wasn't until later that night that everything went wrong.

The sun had disappeared about an hour before, and I was wondering whether or not they'd be up to spending the night again that night, when it came.

Nervousness strangled me so quickly at the heavy knocking at the door that I nearly choked. It sounded quick, either angry or worried. Hardly waiting a second before adding another round of rapid knocks.

"Emmett." My tone definitely announced my unease as I stood up from where I sat beside Alex, looking toward the front door. Emmett crossed the room quickly to pull it open, his eyes narrowed as he saw who it was. I couldn't see who it was from where I stood.

"What are you-"

"Are they here?" Jon's voice was very worried, and that had Alyssa standing up from beside Emily on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. Jon spoke again, "Please tell me they're here."

"Jon." Alyssa spoke up, heading for the front door. I followed her closely, Alex and Emily trailing behind me. The relief I saw in him the second he saw them was genuine. Without waiting for an invitation, Jon stepped into the house. Oddly, he immediately hugged Alyssa. I'd never seen him do that.

"What's wrong?" Alex picked up on his odd behavior, which was saying something. He hardly ever picked up on anything. Reaching down, Jon picked up Emily, and sighed.

"You three are alright." He said, "That's what matters. Next time you want to go somewhere, let me know where the hell you're going, would ya?"

"That's my fault." I spoke up, "Not theirs. Don't be mad at them."

"No," He replied, "I'm not mad. I really don't care. If they want to go somewhere, they can, but it would have been nice to know that they weren't home. I could have saved myself a whole lot of freaking the fuck out." He didn't seem especially pissed, thankfully, but his relieved sort of scolding was expected.

I glanced over as Rosalie stepped over, obviously confused.

Jon sighed again, "Now come on. I have to get you guys to mom's."

"What?" Alyssa frowned, "Why?" I also blinked in surprised. Why would he willingly take them to that bitch's house? I knew it wasn't nice to not let him know where they were, but wasn't this punishment a little harsh? I looked up at Emmett, and his eyes narrowed slightly as he studied Jon.

"Dad said so." Jon replied to Alyssa.

"We're not going there." Alyssa shook her head, "We're going home."

He laughed humorlessly, "That's not happening."

"Why not?"

"Because it's up in flames." He answered, "You haven't seen it?"

What? The second his words registered to me, my heart dropped into my toes.

That was obviously news to Emmett, who rounded for the back door. Jon followed him, and I followed Jon. Alex and Alyssa followed me, and we piled out the back door, into the yard. Sure enough, we could see the smoke from here. Thick, gray smoke a few blocks to the south, curling toward the sky, bright flames illuminating that area. Right where Alyssa's house was.

Nervously, I looked to Alyssa who returned my expression.

"Pretty much the whole row caught." Jon explained, "They won't know where it started until it's put out, but they're having a hell of a time."

"We haven't been home." Alyssa told him, "It wasn't any of us."

"How long have you been over here?"

"Since yesterday morning." She replied, "We spent last night here, remember? We went to school, and came here from school."

"Okay." He said, "I'll let dad know that."

"What about Sammy?" Alex asked, "Maybe he did it."

"Sammy was with us." Jon shook his head, "All day. Skipping school for work again."

"Oh." Alex mumbled, looking down in obvious thought. He sighed, "You know, I bet it was that stupid Collins kid from two houses down. That fucker is weird. Twice, I caught him digging stuff out of our trash, and he's always playing with matches."

That was only about the third time I'd ever heard Alex cuss, but I couldn't blame him. Now was as good a time to cuss as any. It also struck me as odd for Alex to be calling anyone weird. He was as weird as they come, but maybe he meant weird in a bad way.

"Who cares who did it?" Jon sighed, "I have to get you guys to mom's. You'll be staying there until we can figure out what the hell we're going to do." I clearly heard the stress in his tone. Whether that was about their house burning to the ground, or because he hated to drop the kids at their mother's house, I wasn't sure.

"Here." Emmett spoke up, digging out his wallet. I watched as he pulled out four bills and held them out to Jon, "For clothes and things they'll need." From what I could tell, those were all hundred dollar bills. It was a big gesture, considering how bad they hated each other just a few months ago.

Maybe it was a brother thing. Maybe he was just doing it so Alyssa and the others wouldn't have to suffer too much. Whatever the reason, he was offering quite a bit of money.

"I don't need that." Jon replied, but I could see he was tempted. Who wouldn't be? They'd just lost absolutely everything. They were going to need every bit of cash they could scrape together.

"Don't even worry about it." Emmett insisted, "I know you don't. Just take it anyway." Sighing, Jon took it.

"Thanks." He said, "I'll pay you back when I can." Emmett nodded, though I knew he'd never accept a repayment.

Alyssa looked to me again. I returned her look.

"Go ahead." I told her, "Just be careful." I knew she understood what I meant, given the way she nodded and hugged me.

I looked up at Jon, "Please keep them safe."

"I plan to." Was his reply, taking Alex's shoulder in his hand and turning him around. I walked with them to the front door. Emmett hadn't said another word yet, trailing behind me.

We had to gather clothing and stuff first, so it was up the stairs quickly for their overnight stuff from the night before. I hadn't brought any extra clothes with me, so I couldn't give her anything of mine. Downstairs, I silently helped Alyssa gather all of Emily's new things into one bag. At least Emily would have some things to keep her busy.

I followed Alex and Alyssa to the front door, handing Alyssa the bag of Emily's new things. Alyssa handed that bag off to Alex, who headed for the car first.

"If I don't see you again before you leave, have a good trip back." She tried to smile, but she was scared. Not only was someone obviously trying to kill them, but because of that, she had to go stay with her known-abusive and neglectful mother. I couldn't imagine how scared she must be. She had two others to worry about, and without Mikah, what would they go through until their father could find other arrangements?

"Call Emmett as soon as you can." I told her, "Let me know what's going on." I turned to the nearest pad of paper, and looked to Emmett, handing him the pad. He grabbed a pencil, and scribbled down his number for her.

"Just don't write his name or anything on that paper." I requested, and she nodded, taking the paper from him, "Can't be too careful."

"I won't." She replied, sighing as she hugged me again.

"Come on, Aly!" Jon called from the car, "Get out here. We gotta go." I understood his rush. He probably wanted to get them there and get back here in case he was needed.

"Bye." She told me quickly, and I returned it quietly. I watched them leave, sighing as I looked up at Emmett, worried.

He didn't wait very long. Turning the second the front door was closed, he pulled his phone out in the same motion.

"I'm going." Rosalie spoke up, and I glanced to her, "Be careful."

"You too." Emmett replied to her, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She kissed him, and turned, headed for the back door.

"Where is she going?" I asked quietly, looking to Emmett.

"She's going to follow them." He answered, "After an attempt like that, she's not letting them out of her sight."

I nodded a little, watching him bring the phone to his ear. I fell quiet now. Almost numbly, I sat down on the couch, turning a little to watch Emmett.

"Carlisle," He spoke a few seconds later. He waited, obviously listening for a second, "Yeah. Yeah, I need a little help." He nodded a little, "See you then."

With that, he hung up. With a sinking feeling, I knew what was going to happen now. He had to leave me.

"Stay here." He told me, confirming my worry, "Close and lock the door. Keep it closed until I get back. Anyone who needs in here will have a key." I nodded, knowing where he was going. He was going to see if he could find and track the scent of whoever started the fire. He had to get there quickly, before the scent could be covered too much.

"There's a cell phone in the third kitchen drawer." He went on, "Grab it, and keep it with you. Our numbers are already in it, so just look for mine if you need anything. Carlisle is on his way."

"Okay." I whimpered, hating the fact that I'd be here alone. I spoke up again, "Don't be gone long, okay?"

"I won't." He replied, "Just sit tight."

He left, closing the door as he left, and doing as he said, I locked it directly behind him. I immediately turned and headed back into the kitchen, and I chose to stay in there. There was only one window in here, and it made me feel safer to stay in there. I found the cell phone he was talking about, turning it on just in case.

It was darker in here, though. With both Emmett and Rosalie gone, I fought the urge to turn on the light. I had to hold out for at least fifteen minutes. Climbing up onto the kitchen counter right beside the window, I waited.

I sat there for five of those fifteen minutes, listening to the silence of the house, and just waiting for one of them to get back or for someone else to get there. Gazing out the window, it was dark out there. I watched the yard, looking for any hint that someone was there.

If we hadn't been here, what would have happened? All three of them would have been home. Probably inside that house. Briefly, my mind tried to consider the fact that I'd been right to be cautious. Just not in the way I'd expected, but I refused to distract myself with those thoughts. I needed to pay attention.

Out the window, I couldn't see anything. It being far too dark outside to see. I knew I was just freaking myself out, but I couldn't help it.

It was pretty damn nerve-wracking, until I did see something. Slowly lifting my head, my eyes locked on it. Several feet from the house, someone was out there. It was way too soon for Carlisle to be there, and if it had been him, he would have come straight to the house. Not linger around the outside in the darkness.

I started to doubt my own eyes, until the shadowy shape of this person moved. Taking a few slow steps to the left, in the direction of the back door. Why weren't they coming closer? I needed them to come closer so I could see if I needed to be afraid or not.

With another sinking heart, I realized I'd forgotten to lock the back door. I hopped down from the counter, racing across the room and locking the door as quickly as I could. I paused for a breath before racing back to the counter to look back out the window.

The shadow was gone. That didn't relieve me. That just scared me more. Maybe whoever was out there had seen me move, and was looking for a way in?

With a strangled whimper of panic, I turned. Running for the stairs as fast as I could. It was weird to me, having to be afraid in my own house. Ms. Parker hadn't come inside the house, so inside that house was still safe. Here, on my own and running from whoever had been outside, I certainly didn't feel safe anymore.

I paused, mid-stride as I clearly heard the front door's knob rattle gently. As if someone was testing it.

Fuck no.

I yanked myself up the stairs as fast as I could, beating my own previous record. My room wasn't safe, even up on the third floor with the giant glass doors leading to the balcony, so I chose the closest room on the inside of the house I could. With as many rooms as there were, I had at least some time to hide.

I dove into a room on the second floor, closing and locking the door behind me. This was a spare room. Not in use, but the bed just high enough off the floor for me to scoot under. One thing was for sure. Whoever was trying to get in was either really brave, or really stupid.

For all this person knew, Emmett or Rosalie could have been here to beat their head in for even coming near this house. Both of them were gone, however, but there was no way whoever was outside could know that as both of them had left on foot.

Unless whoever this was somehow knew that I was here alone.

I took the cell phone, still in my hand, and opened it the second I could lay still enough to. Instead of calling Emmett, though, the first person I thought to call was Carlisle. I needed to know how far away he was. I needed to know how far from safety I was.

He answered on the second ring, and I finally started to cry. Reminded heavily of the first call I'd ever made to him, but I also knew I needed to focus. I sniffled and spoke.

"How far away are you?" I cried as quietly as I could.

"We're almost there, Leandra." He assured me.

"Someone's outside." I whispered desperately, "I-I saw them. They were trying to get in. Please hurry up. Hurry up."

"Listen to me." He said firmly, "Hang up, and call Emmett. He's closer than we are, Leandra."

"I can't." I sobbed quietly, "I'm too scared. Don't hang up. Please don't hang up."

"Okay." He sighed, "Just hang on. Are you hiding?"

"I'm hiding." I confirmed.

"Stay there, and stay quiet." He told me firmly. Away from the phone, I heard him talking to someone else. Probably telling someone else to call Emmett for me, for which I was grateful.

I looked over, toward the door at a sound out in the hall. A door opening, silence, and seconds later, the dim light under the door was interrupted by shoes as someone slowly stepped up to it. Stopping directly outside the door.

"They're in." I sobbed a panicked whisper, "Inside the house." The sound shaking along with me.

"Stay quiet, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "Just stay quiet." I lowered my head, burying my nose in mouth in the carpet and sobbed. I hadn't been this scared in awhile. Instead of the almost relieving instant panic I'd felt recently, this had a chance to build.

"Please hurry up." I whispered, "Please, please." I looked back to the door at the knob rattling quietly. Again, as if someone was testing it. I was so intensely scared, I forgot how to breathe.

They were still standing there, I couldn't take my eyes off of that shadow under the door, my breathing hitching with each gasp in. The knob rattled one more time, and I squeezed my eyes shut, lowering my face back to the floor.

"Just stay quiet, Leandra." Carlisle spoke to me, but I wasn't about to say anything back. This door usually gave a tiny squeak when it opened, and I never knew such a tiny sound could create such panic in me as I heard it now.

Briefly, my eyes flew open to stare ahead of me. I'd locked that door. I was positive about that. I squeezed my eyes shut again. Too frozen to do anything else.

I heard nothing after that. Keeping my eyes shut tight, holding my breath. Trembling violently where I laid as still as I could. I didn't fight with it when I felt the cell phone gently pulled from my hand. Just sliding away. I didn't look over.

"Don't move." The definitely male whisper beside me had me lock up further, silencing my cries in a squeak. The voice spoke again, now just loud enough that Carlisle would be able to hear, "It has been handled."

Though I didn't recognize this voice in the slightest, it chilled me. Sending a new wave of ice through my veins. It was deep, despite being quiet, and gravelly. The voice belonging to someone big.

I'd obviously been found, so what use would it be to move? Even if I had been physically able to move, I'd do as the whisper told me to do. Aside from my violent trembling, I laid perfectly still.

I suddenly remembered how to cry. Sobbing loudly into the carpet. I couldn't hold it back anymore.

I didn't even open my eyes as the phone closed gently beside me, ending the call. After that, I heard nothing. Not the sound of anyone breathing, or the carpet making noise. There was no indication of anyone being there at all, aside from the phone leaving my hand seemingly on its own, and the quiet voice to my right that had spoken to me. Not another word had been spoken.

I didn't dare look, however, in case whoever it was wouldn't want me to. My eyes ached with how tightly I clenched them shut. Terror squeezing my entire body just as painfully. I knew someone was there, despite how quiet they were.

Now what?

**A/N: Okay, I know I said we'd be moving along Eclipse wise, I needed to get this one out of my system, or I was going to explode. It was driving me up the wall. I also made this chapter quite a bit longer than originally planned, to make up for how late this is. Forgive me? :)  
Seventy brownie/smiley points to those that can figure out what the heck is going on! :D I also apologize if a lot seems to be happening in this chapter, but I have a reason for all of it.  
As for Mikah, we're getting to him. Don't worry about that. :) I do plan on putting him back in a little earlier than before, but that's all I'm going to say on the subject. I swear, he's just as insistent.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed chapter four! You're ALL AMAZING! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!**  
**Chapter six _shouldn't_ change around on me, since I'm fairly pleased with where it's at, so I'll cautiously say that it won't take too much time to come out, and that six is where we get more 'Eclipsey'.**  
**Until Six, my amazing friends! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I couldn't even beg for my life. I couldn't beg to be left alone. I couldn't say anything. I was completely useless.

Finally getting the courage, I looked over quickly, expecting to get killed the second I did, but there was nobody there. No sign that anybody had ever been there, aside from the escaped cell phone resting on the carpet a few feet away.

The door was just as closed as it had been when I'd closed it. I hadn't even heard it close. Maybe they'd moved on to a different room? I looked around wildly. Every direction my neck could stretch or turn, I looked. I saw nobody. I saw nothing.

I gasped for breath a little louder now that I could. Even with the the cell phone out of my reach the way it was, I still questioned everything. I could have pushed it away myself, and just not remembered it. What the hell was wrong with me? Had any of that been real?

Down the stairs, I clearly heard a door slam open. I jumped in my hiding place, my sobs momentarily increasing yet again. Now that I could.

"Stay in there, shorty." Emmett called from the hall, "Let me check the place first." No problem. I was crying too hard to answer, much less move, only nodding where I laid.

After what felt like a year, but actually couldn't have been more than thirty seconds, Emmett was back outside the door.

"Shorty, come on out." He called, "It's okay. There's nobody here." As relieving as that was to hear, it didn't comfort me.

"I can't." I cried, "I can't yet." Which was true. I couldn't move. In my fear, I was stuck where I was. Stuck doing as the whisper told me to do, and refusing to move.

How the hell did whoever it was get away? He had just been right next to me before Emmett showed up. If there had been anyone here, he didn't have enough time to get down the stairs and out the door without Emmett seeing him.

"Leandra?" Carlisle's voice came from the hall as well, "Open the door." He must have hurried faster than I thought.

"I can't move." I sobbed again. I was frozen. The door came open, as Carlisle was obviously worried by that reply. I watched as he kneeled beside the bed, peering under at me.

"Are you hurt?" He asked.

"No." I replied shakily, "I'm fine. I-I'm just stuck." He sighed, the relief almost painfully evident.

"We have a problem." I overheard Emmett say, "A big one." Carlisle turned to look back at him in the doorway.

"I know." Was Carlisle's quiet reply, "We'll discuss it later." I coughed a few times, choking on a few sobs. I breathed deeply, trying to replace the breath that my sobs had stolen. I hadn't been that afraid in a very long time. Even outside the store, I hadn't been that afraid.

I'd never had to be afraid in my own house before. That made an enormous difference in how I felt. I'd never had to feel threatened like that in my own house. I never had to worry. I'd always been safe inside the house. Now that I hadn't been, I didn't like how that felt.

"It was all going good, until that pyromaniac had to show up." Emmett grumbled, "He better hope I don't find him."

"I understand." Carlisle replied, "No one is blaming you, Emmett, but I'm sure Esme could use some help at the fire."

Emmett sighed again, taking the hint, "I'm on it." I watched him turn and leave. I was still crying, though. Just a little closer to calming down now that I had someone with me.

"T-There was someone there." I insisted, "Right where you are. T-There was someone there."

"I know." He said, "I know there was."

He wasn't saying if Emmett found anything or not. Could that be what Emmett meant when he said that they had a problem? That there hadn't been anyone there? Was I the problem?

"There was someone there.." I repeated, "Wasn't there?" I looked over at him, blinking tears from my eyes, "Wasn't there?"

"Come on out of there." He offered his hand to help me out, and I could finally take it. This new mystery distracting me enough to allow me to move. Shakily, I carefully scooted my way out from under the bed. There was something he wasn't saying, though. I knew that for sure.

All of me ached from how badly I shook, but that was the least of my worries.

I kneeled there beside him, trying to calm down. I needed my heart to slow down to a more comfortable pace before I could even try speaking again. He didn't say anything, but he watched me.

"Is she okay?" Alice suddenly in the doorway had me yelping. I really hadn't expected her to be there. Shaken up, I sobbed a few times in left over emotion, closing my eyes for a moment or two. Had they really needed to send everyone over here? Not that I wasn't happy to see her.

"Alice," Carlisle turned slightly as Jasper showed up beside her, "Would you please take her back home? I need to go find Rosalie." What? He was just gonna leave?

"Sure." Alice replied, concerned, "No problem."

"Don't leave." I requested, reaching out and grabbing his wrist before he could stand up, "Please?" Surprised, he looked to me again, "_Please_?"

"I'll go find Rosalie." Alice offered instead, "You stay with her, Carlisle."

After a few moments, Carlisle sighed as he looked to her, "Rosalie was headed to Alyssa's mother's house." Carlisle gave an address, "Emmett mentioned that she left twenty minutes ago. If you have trouble locating her, try the back roads. Be careful." With a nod, Alice smiled a little, gave Jasper a kiss and turned.

I hated to admit it, but I felt safer with Carlisle than I would Alice. It wasn't anything Alice had done, but how much Carlisle had already done for me that made the difference. I was beginning to notice that. It made sense to me, since Carlisle was the one I thought to call when I was most afraid. Twice now.

Carlisle stood up, helping me to my feet along with him. I continued to tremble, but I felt a whole lot calmer. No doubt, thanks to Jasper.

"Please." I spoke, looking up at Carlisle, "Just tell me. Was someone here or not?"

He sighed, glancing to Jasper briefly. Probably to make sure he had my emotions under control before he spoke again. It was no secret to me that Jasper was helping me to be so calm currently. There was no way I was calming down this quickly without his help.

"Yes." Carlisle answered, "Yes, there was someone here." I nodded, taking a breath. I accepted that answer, grateful I wasn't going crazy. I didn't bother asking any more questions, because I'd only asked for one answer.

He seemed grateful I stopped there. Actually smoothing my hair as he led me out into the hall. I looked down, squeezing even more left over tears from my eyes as I whimpered. I was having trouble with this. Dealing with this was something I hadn't gotten the hang of yet.

"Leandra," Jasper spoke, "Go gather your stuff, okay? We're taking you back." I nodded again, and turned. Moving for my room. I felt oddly cooperative. Like I really didn't want to resist or hesitate. I just did as he asked. Maybe that was his doing, but maybe it was because he'd given me instructions. Telling me what to do, instead of letting me keep freaking out.

I had so much on my mind, so many questions I wanted to ask, but I held them back. I tossed everything I'd brought with me into my bag, zipping it closed as both Carlisle and Jasper arrived in the doorway to watch me.

I let Jasper take my bag from me, looking up at him, "But I just got here."

"I know." He replied, "But there's a reason for this. Trust me." I nodded with a sigh, turning off my bedroom light. There wasn't much else for me to do.

I let Carlisle pick me up at the top of the stairs, looking over at Jasper beside him.

"Your head will be covered again, okay?" Jasper asked.

"It didn't do any good last time." I shrugged a little, "I'll just keep my eyes closed."

"Regardless." Jasper insisted, dropping his own jacket over my head. I hated being covered like this, but I also had little choice.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't insist on taking it off. Reaching up, I only adjusted it so I could hold it closed. The plus side of having my head covered like this, though, was that I didn't need to keep my eyes shut as tight. It was easier on me. If I accidentally let my eyes open a little bit, it wasn't a bad thing.

"You said there was a reason that you had to take me home." I brought up quietly, "What's the reason?" Nobody answered me. So either they didn't hear me, which was unlikely, or they didn't want to answer.

So I sat silently from there. I felt movement, so I knew we were on our way home, and I knew not to drop the jacket, but I was getting annoyed. That annoyance, however, was quickly squashed when I remembered how grateful I was not to be alone anymore.

I whimpered, trying to ignore the left over panic that attempted to swell in my stomach. I absolutely hated being alone like that. Especially now that I knew what could happen. It was at that point that I knew I'd never survive on my own. I'd turn my ass right around, and go right back to safety. I'd gotten way too soft.

Was that such a bad thing, though? Was it really so bad to need my family so much? It was better to be too soft than too hard, hating everything around me.

I didn't feel as sick when we got home as I did when I Emmett carried me. I was given heads up this time before being gently let down onto the couch. The dizziness was still there, though.

"Leandra," Carlisle sat beside me, and I looked over at him as steadily as I could, "Why did you doubt that there was someone there?"

I was actually grateful for this question. It opened the way for my own questions. I couldn't help doubting that I'd get the answers I wanted, though.

"Because Emmett said there was a problem." I replied, "What problem was he talking about, if it wasn't that there was nobody there?"

Carlisle hesitated, obviously not wanting to answer me.

"Have you been doubting the things you see?" He asked instead of answering me. I couldn't exactly say that I was surprised. I decided to keep that answer to myself, though. Looking over at him.

"I'm scared." I told him.

"I know." He assured me calmly.

"Carlisle, I knew something was gonna happen." I went on, "I knew it. Maybe I knew it before I even went there, but I don't know. Why would someone do that?" He hugged me, and I didn't exactly fight it. I needed those reassurances so much.

When I was least expecting it, out of the blue, I burst into tears. Like a switch had been flipped, and I suddenly started to cry. Like he'd allowed me to cry again just by hugging me like that.

"There it is." Jasper muttered, actually sounding relieved. Carlisle glanced over at him, so he explained, "Her emotions were too stable. Even when I wasn't helping her with them. After an event like that, this emotional reaction is good. I'm learning everything about human emotions all over again, in more of a first hand experience.

"She'll be okay." He added, "She just needs to release what happened like this. If those emotions had stayed that stable, it'd be very bad for her."

Me, on the other hand, I was stuck in the middle of emotional chaos. There was everything just piling on top of everything, and suddenly decided to show themselves all at the same time.

I was scared and afraid. There was lots of panic, for Alyssa, and for myself. I was mad, very angry, at whoever made me have to feel afraid. I was sad, over Alyssa and over Mikah. Everything just piled up at once, and I suddenly felt like throwing up.

If only Mikah knew what was going on. He'd have come back if any part of his personality had stuck around. I was still mad at him, but that anger had turned itself over into guilt. How could I be mad at him, when it was my fault he was gone?

How could I blame him when I was responsible? Guilt, anger, sadness. Every mixture of those main emotions that was needed to break my heart in a hundred different ways all at once.

Then, there was the entire situation under the bed. How close had I come to disappearing tonight? How close had danger come to me? Less than a foot away. Just knowing that gripped me in a very upsetting state of fear. I'd been so scared. I was still scared. Whoever that had been knew exactly how to get to me. How did he know I was alone? How did he know he could get to me? I knew for a fact that it hadn't just been dumb luck.

Sure enough, however, I did manage to cry myself out. I still felt those emotions, and they still bothered me, but I'd gotten my reaction to them out. Apparently, that was what mattered. I slowly sat up, away from Carlisle, who still seemed concerned.

"Sorry." I mumbled over at Carlisle, "For crying all over you."

"I don't mind, Leandra." He replied, "Not at all." I nodded a little. I believed him.

I managed to stay awake long enough to see everyone else return home. Including Rosalie and Alice, but that was probably for a recap. Regrouping to see where they'd be going next and who'd go there.

Of course Alyssa would still need to be watched. With an attempt that big, they would take the obvious threat seriously. I had been assured of it. Once that was out of the way, however, I was more than willing to go to bed. Worn out in all senses of the word.

Like she hadn't had to do in quite awhile, Esme sat with me. I wanted to ask her not to leave once I fell asleep, but I didn't want to be selfish. I knew if she was here, I wouldn't have to worry about getting found again, but I knew she needed to talk to the others.

I laid awake, fighting sleep. Looking up at her, I finally seemed to notice something. Her eyes. Though they were still gold, they were quite a bit darker than I was used to seeing her let them get.

"You haven't hunted?" I asked, and she smiled a little.

"I'm fine, sweetheart." She replied, "No need to worry." She sighed, "Up until tonight, did you have a nice trip?"

"Before tonight," I sighed, "Yeah. I can't stop thinking about it, though. If they hadn't been with me, what would have happened?" Her smile saddened, "Sammy, Jon and their dad were all at work, and would have been still working. Alyssa and the others would have been home, because I'd told them it wasn't safe to be out passed dark."

"What matters is that they were all okay." She pointed out, "I know it's hard, but focus on the good of what happened. Emmett tells me it was you that insisted they stay with you." I nodded a little, confirming that. She sighed a little, smoothing my blanket over me slightly, "You saved them, Leandra."

I shook my head, "I just paid attention. I knew Emily's birthday was going to make him look for her." I sighed as well, "Is Emmett still mad at me?"

"For what?" She asked.

"We stayed at the school, to wait for them to come out." I confessed, "And instead of waiting for them at the car, I got out to wait for them closer to the school. Emmett got mad at me when I didn't get back in the car when he told me to." She smiled again.

"I'm sure he wasn't mad at you." She replied, "I'm sure he was only frustrated, but if he was, I know he's not anymore. You had your reasons, honey. He knows that."

"I just didn't know what that reason was." I added, "I'm glad I was there, at least, to keep them with me."

"Me too." She agreed, "You did something incredible today. Take some pride in that, sweetie." I nodded a little and she smoothed my hair back, "Get some rest."

I definitely needed to at least try, so I nodded again, and rolled back onto my side, facing the wall as usual. Letting my eyes close. However long she sat with me, I'd appreciate it.

Also for the first time in forever, I woke up fighting. Not near as badly as I had in the past, but kicking briefly as I sat upright.

"It's alright, honey." Esme had stayed, "It's okay." Had I even been asleep that long? That didn't matter. She was there, hugging me as I fought to calm down. Thankfully, I had yet to cry. I doubted I was capable of it, anyway.

Alyssa didn't call until the following morning. Conveniently, while Emmett was seated right beside me. After the horrible night of sleep I had, I needed just a little bit of good news. I needed to know that she was still okay for now.

"Hey." I spoke once Emmett handed me the phone, "What's going on?"

"I don't know." She replied with a quiet sigh, "Nobody will tell me anything. I just know we're probably going to be here for awhile."

"With your mom?" I asked, disappointed.

"Yeah." She replied, "But there isn't much room for us here. Mom lives in a one bedroom apartment with her boyfriend. She didn't like that we have to be here, but she said we could stay after my dad fought with her about it."

"Wait." I said, "If it's a one bedroom apartment-"

"We're staying in the living room." She explained before I had to ask, "Me and Emily will share the couch bed, and Alex is on the floor."

"What about your dad and Jon?" I frowned, "Sammy?"

"They can't be this far from their job." She muttered, "So they're all staying behind. They'll find somewhere else to stay, but for now, we're stuck here. Sammy wanted to stay with dad and Jon, so he can help out with work. Their boss said he can."

I couldn't believe this. I was too mad to speak. I spluttered for a second, looking over at Emmett. I'd worked really damn hard and risked a lot to get them away from that woman, and now there they were. Right back with her, and it was all thanks to Jack. They'd been split up. With nobody else there, it'd just be Alyssa protecting Alex and Emily. This was worse than I thought.

"Leandra?" Alyssa spoke when I fell quiet.

"Yeah." I said, "I'm sorry. I'm just.." I whined a little, "This sucks. So bad."

"I know." She replied, "But.. Well, it's not so bad. I mean.. At least nobody was inside the house. I just keep thinking about it that way, and it helps."

"But your _mom_?" I whimpered.

"I tried to argue with dad about it." She admitted, "I didn't want to stay with her either, but he just said something about not wanting us on the street. He said he'd figure something out, but that might not be for a long time, because we can't afford a new place."

I hated this.

"It's not fair." I mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked, "It's not your fault. We'll be okay, Leandra." She hesitated, before she spoke again, "I've gotta go. I'll call again when I can."

"Okay." I replied sadly, "Talk to you then."

She hung up first, and I sighed, following suit.

"I hate this." I mumbled, handing Emmett his phone, "I hate this so much. It's not fair. I wish I could do something."

"I'll talk to Carlisle." Emmett told me, "Maybe there is."

"Alyssa doesn't want to lose Alex or Emily." I said, "How can you help them when anyone you tell will take them away?"

"I'm not talking about telling anyone." He replied, "We had some money set aside in case we did run into someone working for Jack-ass. Actually hoping to bribe him into giving up what he knows, but I'm thinking maybe that money can go for another purpose. I'd rather see it go to them anyway. Especially when they need it so much."

"How much?" I frowned, "Jack would pay anybody anything."

"More than enough." He assured me, "If there's one thing Carlisle isn't worried about, it's the cost of something. We're talking.. Any amount, and if these dumb asses would fall for Jack-ass's offered measly fifty or seventy-five grand, that's _very_ easily topped."

I couldn't even imagine that much money. I literally couldn't picture it.

"Jack offered that much?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded a little, "He hasn't had to pay yet. He's careful. I'll give him that. If the information we've gotten so far is right, the deal is that he gets you first before he pays these people a cent. The idea is that if we can just get to these people before they take you anywhere, and we can counter-offer, they'd spill anything. Especially if we take jail-time off the table." He sighed, "The problem is, nobody's been hired to go after you specifically since the store. It's been Alyssa and those kids."

"Weird." I muttered, narrowing my eyes a little.

"You shouldn't be telling her this stuff, Emmett." Alice scolded lightly, descending the stairs with Jasper in tow, and I looked down. Alice and Jasper were just getting ready for school, so it wasn't a surprise that they were down here now.

I hoped Emmett wasn't in trouble for telling me this. I knew they weren't allowed to tell me much of anything, and that bugged me.

"But that's if her dad will take it." I pointed out anyway, getting back to the original subject, "I don't know if he will."

"One of them will take it." Emmett nodded, "They won't know who it's from, if that's what it takes. Don't worry, shorty. I don't think Alyssa is going to be there very long."

I sincerely hoped he was right.

I didn't have a chance to worry much about it that same night, thanks to being informed of a visit to Heather's house the next night.

I had a feeling with everything happening all at once, I was headed for another bad night. When things kept piling onto other things, the stack of things to worry about was getting too high again.

I didn't exactly want to go, but I'd been the one that said that they could leave me there any time they needed to, and hadn't I been the one to point out Esme's lack of hunting just the night before? I couldn't say this was a massive surprise.

Apparently, Edward and Bella would be heading to Florida for the weekend, which I envied them for. Florida was even further away from here than New York was, and it would probably be harder to find me there.

Alice would be the one to drop me off again. I was surprised, though, to see a new car sitting in the garage. Bright yellow, and very intimidating. I didn't even want to touch it, knowing I'd mess it up somehow.

"Wow." I muttered, looking over the car in surprise, "You weren't kidding."

"Isn't it pretty?" She asked with a grin, obviously proud of it.

"It's.." I trailed off, "How long has it been out here?"

"Oh, about a week now."

"Shows how much I pay attention." I mumbled, and I felt really bad, "I'm sorry I didn't see it before." I knew this was something that meant a lot to her, and I hadn't even bothered to notice it.

"It's not your fault." She replied, "You've had other things on your mind. Go ahead and get in." She didn't seem too upset with me, though.

"Will it bite me?" I asked, and she gave me a look, "I'm afraid of pissing it off or something." It had only been a partial joke.

"Come on."

Hesitantly, I opened the door. Nothing freaked out at me, so I carefully climbed in.

"Wait," I said as she climbed in as well, "Is this why Emmett's jeep has been outside this whole time?"

"Sure is." She replied, "He didn't mind."

"The garage needs to be bigger." I pointed out, pulling the seat belt over me, "Emmett's poor jeep. I know your car is fancier, but still." She smiled a little as we got moving. I spoke up again, "So is it another hunting trip?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tonight." I said, "Another hunting trip?"

"Oh." She understood now, "Well, yeah. You could say that. We'll be doing some hunting." I nodded a little, "I know this is short notice-"

"No." I shook my head, "It's okay. I would rather stay, but I'll go without a fight."

"It's very much appreciated, Leandra."

"You'll be there tomorrow, right?" I asked, "To pick me up? Like before?"

"Of course." She replied, "First thing in the morning."

I accepted that, keeping my eyes down. I was afraid of looking up and around like I usually did. I didn't want to risk seeing anyone.

It was silent from there, until we pulled up outside Heather's house in town. Before I could climb out, she stopped me.

"Leandra, wait." She gently took my arm, and I turned in my seat to look at her. She handed me a cell phone, "This is just in case." The weight of the cell phone in my hand seemed to worry me. It confused me.

"Why do I need this?" I asked.

"There's no guarantee that you will." She replied, "But I'd rather you have a way to get a hold of one of us if you needed to. Like I said, it's just in case."

I whimpered in hesitation, still unsure. Why would she hand me this, if she didn't think I'd need it? Why would she think I'd need something like this?

"Just in case." She stressed, "You'll be fine. I'm just.. A little cautious after what happened the other day." That explained it a little better, and helped slightly, "I'd just feel better if you took it."

I took a breath and nodded as I sighed it out.

Alice walked me to the front door, and I dropped the cell phone into my bag as she knocked.

For the most part, the night went uneventfully. Not much happened for majority of the night, until Zack suggested that we watch a pretty bloody horror movie, starring a rather angry and violent serial killer. When the front picture on the DVD case featured almost nothing but blood and sharp objects, I knew it would be a bad idea.

I voted against it, but Josh voted for it, so I was a little outvoted. Heather was in the kitchen, very distracted by a pile of paperwork she had to finish from the hospital, and Mike was working late.

I hated it, but I was on my own. I didn't want to wander away and bug Heather when she was trying to catch up, but I had to admit that I was tempted.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, someone died in a really horrible yet very unexpected way. I had no warning, and no chance to look away before it happened, so I spent the rest of the movie mostly hidden behind a couch pillow.

The next movie was about as bad as the first, and by the time it finished, I questioned the stability of my stomach. We didn't even hear the front door open during the final scene where the last survivor finally died.

"You guys are still up?" Mike's very unexpected voice from the doorway behind us had all three of us jumping and yelping. I was highly grateful for the fact that I didn't throw up all over the floor. He sighed, "Did your mom say you could watch that?"

Quickly, Zack turned it off with a grin.

"Come on." He told us, "Get to bed."

It must have been really late if he was home, as he wasn't due to get home until after one in the morning.

Zack stood up first, laughing nervously as he led Josh and I from the living room. I felt sick enough to nearly cry, genuinely hating Zack for suggesting those movies all the way up the stairs. I didn't exactly want to tell them how bad those movies bothered me, and look like a baby.

I also wouldn't call my family, no matter how much I wanted to. If they were out hunting, I was pretty sure they didn't want to be bothered with stupid crap like this. Even if I was still insecure beyond belief after what happened just the other day, but just because I had a feeling they'd understand, didn't mean they'd appreciate it.

So I laid awake that night. Zack had replaced the nighttime heat light over the turtle's aquarium with a darker one, to simulate 'nighttime' for the stupid thing, because that mattered for some stupid reason, so it hardly put out any light.

I couldn't sleep, and I felt pretty scared. I didn't want to be alone, but the really long journey through the dark to the bedroom door didn't sound that pleasant, so I hesitantly climbed out of bed. Crossing the small space between the beds, I was happy to find enough room in Josh's bed for me to fit.

The problem was, the spot was on his other side. Between him and the wall. I'd have to find a way to crawl over him to get to the spot. I took a breath, and decided to just crawl over him at the foot of the bed. Even if he could get startled and kick me in the face, but I hoped the blanket would lessen his ability to do so.

His feet were spaced just enough for me to crawl over him, without kneeling on him. I thought I was free, but he woke up right as I settled into the spot. Stirring with a deep breath and I froze.

"Leandra?" He seemed to recognize me.

"Sorry." I whispered, hoping to keep from waking Zack up, "Can I just lay here? For a minute?"

"Um.." He still seemed half asleep, "Yeah. Sure, but get under the blanket. You're pinning me." I instantly did as he asked, scooting under the blanket with his assistance. It was warmer under here anyway. I turned over, laying on my side and facing the wall.

"Good night." Josh mumbled.

"Night." I replied quietly, closing my eyes. I briefly wondered why I'd feel better laying with Josh. Maybe it was the fact that if a serial killer were to find us, they'd kill Josh first, and I'd have time to get away. Even if I was cornered. That thought chilled me. I shivered, hugging the blanket tighter.

I fell asleep to those lovely thoughts.

When I woke up, thankfully, it wasn't in a flailing panic. It was in a sort of frozen panic when I felt the weight of someone laying behind me. It took me a moment or two to remember where I was, and I instantly relaxed when I did. It was just Josh.

Josh was still fast asleep, but on his back now as I rolled slowly over to look back at him, and Zack was still sprawled out on the floor. I settled back into place with a yawn. I wanted to wait until Josh woke up before I got up, but I really had to pee.

It was really early morning, just before dawn, so I knew I should still be sleeping, but this couldn't wait. As carefully as I could, I climbed back over Josh. He stayed asleep this time, and I made it out of the room before either of them noticed anything.

Just as I was stepping out of the room, Heather was stepping from their bedroom. She was already dressed for work, and seemed to have a lot on her mind. I'd obviously startled her, and she jumped a little once she finally looked up to see me standing there, laughing a bit.

"You scared me." She admitted, and I laughed as well.

"Sorry." I replied.

"What are you doing up, sweetie?" She asked, coming to stand beside me.

"Bathroom." I answered with a slight yawn, "Are you going to work early?" She nodded.

"I'm needed early this morning." She explained, "So it looks like it'll just be you and the boys this morning. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I replied, laughing a little again, "It's your job."

She smiled, "And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." I smiled as well, "I'll see you downstairs." I nodded, letting her continue on for the stairs.

I descended the stairs a few minutes later, finding her right where she said she'd be. In the kitchen, along with Mike now.

"I thought sure you'd sleep in at least a little after how late you three were up last night." Mike told me as I found a seat at the table. He was just getting the coffee started.

"Eh." I shrugged a little, "I don't sleep much." I'd risked sleeping enough.

"You really should." He replied, "Sleep is good for you."

"Sometimes." I pointed out, "Unless it's too much sleep."

"Good point." He muttered, "In that case, you should never sleep again." I laughed a little.

"Don't tell Alice you said that." I told him, "She'll be so mad."

"Why?" He asked.

"She gets mad when I stay awake for too long." I replied, "She says it's bad for me."

"It is." Heather added, "How long at a time?"

"I almost made it a week."

"With no sleep?" She asked, laying her pen down. Obviously wanting to pay more attention.

"I snoozed a little." I said defensively.

"Honey, you can't go that long."

"I know that now." I muttered, "Carlisle told me. I won't go so long again."

"Why'd you go so long in the first place?" Mike asked, crossing his arms. Concerned.

I glanced over at him as I took a breath. Why the hell not? I was too tired to think of any sort of excuse, so I figured why not just tell the damn truth.

"I didn't like the things I'd see when I slept." I admitted, and Heather looked over at me, "I still have problems with that."

"Nightmares?" Mike asked.

"Sort of." I shrugged a little, "Very.. Real ones." Beside me, Heather looked back down.

"Heather used to have those a lot." He replied.

"I did." She confessed.

"She'd be lucky to get four hours of sleep most nights." He went on, "But that could also have been all the studying she had to do for college. That seemed to stop, though, once she was in a stable job."

"So I have to get a job before I'll sleep more?" I asked, making them both laugh. It had only been partially a joke.

"Maybe try a hobby first." Mike suggested, "I've heard jobs are pretty demanding."

"I don't think I have time for a job." I sighed.

"What could you possibly be doing?" He asked with a chuckle, "You're ten, and you don't go to school."

"Lots of stuff." I muttered as Heather stood up with her own sigh, "My dad's back."

"Your dad?" Heather paused where she stood grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard, "He's back?"

"Yeah." I replied, "He moved back here."

"Well, that's certainly something." She murmured, shaking her head, "I never expected that."

"How is Chris?" Mike asked.

"Better, now that they moved."

"Idaho too stressful?"

"Kind of." I allowed, "I don't think it was Idaho as much as it was Jack knowing where they were." Heather nearly choked on the sip of coffee she'd taken, and it was about the third cough from her that I realized my mistake.

Mike didn't know anything about what Jack was like, and I'd just single-handedly paved the way for many questions he'd probably need answered before he'd let it go.

There was a huge difference between telling the careful truth, and completely undoing everything Heather had worked to keep secret behind a wall for all these years. I'd just essentially yanked a weight bearing brick, and anything I said now could completely demolish that wall.

"Uh.." I muttered.

"Why would.." Mike trailed off, frowning in confusion, "You know where Jack is?"

"No." I answered, "That's the whole problem."

"Um, Leandra," Heather spoke up, "Honey.."

"He knows where we are, but we don't know where he is." I was trying to fix it, "We can't find him. If we could, he'd be in jail by now, or dead." Fuck. I just kept making it worse.

"Good grief, look at the time." Heather sighed, "I've got to get to work." I watched as she set her cup down and kissed a very confused Mike before gathering her things. He walked her out, but turned to look at me.

I knew I'd just dug myself in deep.

I sat there, thinking hard about how to get myself out of the situation, when my side was suddenly grabbed and squeezed.

I didn't think. I rounded, whipping out with my hand in the direction the poke had come from. Managing to catch Zack right across the face. My yelp was loud, but his grunt was louder as he hit the floor.

Not only did my hand throb in pain, but I suddenly felt so bad for hitting him. I covered my mouth briefly as I turned in my chair to look down at him as he rolled himself over, covering his cheek.

"I told you not to scare her." Josh made his way around his brother writhing on the floor. Whimpering in pain.

"I'm sorry." I told him, standing up and kneeling to help him. The front door opened again, signifying Mike's return, just as Zack shook my helping hands off and sat up on his own.

Zack, obviously upset over me striking him, slapped me across the face in retaliation. I fell slightly to the side, my hand instantly covering my cheek as I looked to him. I hadn't been hit like that in a long time. It surprised the hell out of me that it was from Zack. No matter how pissed he had been.

"Zack!" Mike caught sight of that just as my own tears started, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Josh's expression was shocked, no longer amused. From what I could see through the sudden tears, anyway.

"She started it." Zack argued as Mike was suddenly there, dragging him up by his arm. Through tears, I looked over at Alice suddenly there as well, kneeling beside me. She must have shown up while Heather was leaving for work.

"I don't care who started it." Mike was very unhappy with Zack, "I don't care what she did. When did that become okay?"

"Look at me." Alice insisted, and I tried to do as she said, but the tears wouldn't let me. I just closed my eyes, trying to make them stop. She sighed, standing up. Helping me to stand only to have me hug onto her side. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it.

"What happened?" Mike asked Josh firmly.

"Zack snuck up behind her, to scare her like he usually does," Josh immediately started explaining to his pissed off father, "And she hit him when she turned real quick. She didn't even mean to, and she said she was sorry right after. She tried to see if he was okay, but he hit her back instead."

"I didn't mean to hit her that hard." Zack grumbled, obviously just calming down.

"You hit her at all." Mike barked, "That's the problem. When did that become okay?" I looked over as he looked down.

"I dunno."

"Do you really think she deserved that?" Mike asked next, "Hers was an accident, and you knew that."

"I told him to stop scaring her." Josh spoke up, "Because I knew one day, she was going to do that."

"I didn't mean to." I cried, defending myself.

"I know." Josh replied, "I didn't mean it that way, Leandra."

"Josh," Alice spoke up, "Can you go get her stuff?" Considering I wasn't letting her go, and she couldn't do it herself.

"Sure." He immediately said, turning. Moments later, I heard him ascending the stairs quickly. The stinging pain in my cheek was dulling, but it ached in an unfamiliar way now. It'd been a long time since I'd been hit.

"I'm sorry." Zack tried, calming down a little more. Probably just now realizing how upset I really was.

"Leandra, I promise." Mike spoke to me as well, "He will be dealt with accordingly."

"Don't be too mad at him." I sniffled, "He didn't mean to either."

"It's my job to teach him to resist." Mike replied simply, "He knows that doesn't fly. I guess he just needs a reminder." Zack winced, looking down again.

Josh returned with my bag, holding it out for me to take. Alice took it instead.

"Thank you." Alice told him, and he sighed with a nod.

"I'll kick his ass for you, Leandra." Josh told me, and I tearfully smiled a little. He didn't have to do that. Mike was probably going to do that thoroughly enough.

We left the house moments later, and I had yet to let go of Alice. I still cried lightly, however, upset now by the hit itself. That had been completely unexpected. He'd certainly put effort behind that, but I didn't think I'd be bruising. The way it felt was different from the other slaps I'd gotten in my life. His hand had been cupped too much, and not stiff enough to cause much, if any, bruising. Which would probably save his life.

I didn't even care that I was still in my pajamas. I just wanted to go home, which Alice knew full well, so she wasted no time in climbing into the car herself as soon as I was seated. I appreciated her rush.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, obviously concerned.

"I've been better." I whimpered, looking down, "I hadn't meant to hit him like that, but he scared me, and I just.. Did it."

"I know." She assured me, "You're not in any trouble. I just can't believe he'd do that."

"I should be in trouble too." I pointed out, "I shouldn't have hit him like that." She gave me a look.

"You were defending yourself." She pointed out in return, "Against something that you didn't know wasn't a threat at the time it happened."

"I don't care." I muttered, "If he's in trouble, then I should be in trouble. It's only fair."

"You apologized for it." She shook her head.

"I don't think my apology made it hurt any less." I pointed out, and she glanced over, "Like.. If someone just walked up and punched me in the face, then apologized right after, would that make it okay? Would you be okay with that, just because they apologized? It's the same thing."

"Hardly." She replied, "Yours wasn't intentional."

"Neither was his." I countered, sniffling, "He was just mad because of what I did, and when people get mad like that, they don't think about what they do. Couldn't you tell? He felt bad when he calmed down enough to."

She sighed, "Regardless. His was fueled by his temper. Yours was a reaction to fear. There's a major difference between the two."

"I don't think so." I admitted, looking out the window.

"Well," She spoke after a bit of silence, "As long as I've got you here, there's something I think you should know." I looked over, waiting. She smiled a little, so this was obviously something she thought was a good thing, and she spoke again, "Do you remember the dress I got you a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah." I muttered, "At the mall you dragged me to. I told you I'd never wear it."

"Well," She hesitated, "You can wear that dress during the graduation party I'm throwing." I frowned, looking over.

"What party?"

"The graduation party." She repeated with a small laugh, "I know you'd probably appreciate a heads up, so-"

"Party?" I asked, "Why a party? When?" I knew she knew I was upset by this turn of events. There was no way she couldn't be aware of that. I didn't want some party.

"In two weeks." She answered, "And I just thought-"

"Why?" I whimpered.

"I'm getting to that." She replied quietly, "I just thought that with so much going on, this would.. Sort of change things up a little bit. It'd be nice to not have to worry about things for one night, you know?"

"That's fine for you," I said, "But I don't want to be there, and definitely not in some stupid dress."

"Please don't make this a big deal."

"It is a big deal." I pointed out, "Why does it have to be a party at our house? Why couldn't you just.. I don't know.. Plan it at the park or something? So I don't have to be there?"

"Because of the rain." She countered, "Not to mention how difficult that would be."

"Remember the last party?" I asked, "What happened then? I don't want to be there, Alice. Don't make me go." I was at the begging stage, and I had a feeling that would last up until the party.

"I know you'll feel differently when you see it's not going to be that bad." She assured me, and I sobbed a few times in nervousness. Laying my head back against the seat. I was already dreading it.

"Don't make me go." I begged again.

"Think of this as punishment for hitting Zack." She smiled a little, obviously finding a new angle.

"I'd rather be punched in the face." I grumbled.

"I know." She sighed, "But that's not happening, so.."

"Can I live outside until it's over?"

"No."

"Is there going to be a lot of people there?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Mostly.." She hesitated, "Just the graduates. Maybe a few more, depending on who they invite."

"And how many people is that?"

"Just a few." I knew by her tone she was avoiding giving me the real answer. I felt like kicking something, but I knew better than to kick anything even remotely near this car, much less something inside it. I still wasn't sure if the car would bite back or not.

I sighed, looking over at her again, "Did your hunt go good, at least?"

"I'd say that it went about as well as your visit with the boys went."

"So.." I muttered, "Not really?"

"Not really." She confirmed quietly.

"Sorry." I said, "I didn't call when I was going to, so at least I know that wasn't my fault."

"No, it wasn't your fault." She replied, "We just didn't get what we were after."

"Why not?" I asked, "It should be easy for you."

"Emmett took a chance when he really shouldn't have." She answered, "So I'd be careful around him for a few days. He's not in the best of moods."

"Thanks," I mumbled, "For the heads up." She nodded.

She wasn't kidding about Emmett. One look at me and my probably flushed cheek, and he was ready to kill something.

"What happened?" He demanded, and at first, I was too intimidated to speak. It reminded me of the way he demanded that I tell him what Jon did in New York. I decided to try a different approach this time. I didn't feel like watching him kick the ass of a ten year old boy.

"I was trying to pry a box open this morning, and my hand slipped." I answered, Alice glancing to me, "I hit myself in the face." I gave a nervous laugh, "Now I know to pry away from me, instead of at me." He seemed to believe that, calming down however much he could.

"You gotta be careful, shorty." He grumbled, looking back to the TV.

"I know." I replied, "I will."

"How'd your visit go?" He asked.

"It went good." I lied, "Watched some movies. Nothing special." With a sigh, Alice settled into the spot beside me. Shaking her head a little. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I didn't want Emmett to overhear.

"Well, that's good." Emmett responded, "Nothing special is good."

"Yup." I sighed. He didn't need to know how bad things went this morning. I knew this lie would have to stick to everyone who asked, but I also knew Alice would fill them in. Carlisle, at least, would need to know in case he tried to send me back to their house anytime soon. Before things could be patched up.

With a growling sigh, Emmett stood up. I looked up at him, worried about his edginess.

"I'm going to help Rose." He told us.

"Good idea." Alice replied, "Go and clear your head. We'll call if we need you." He gave a nod, and left before I could say anything.

"Wow." I muttered a second after he was gone, "What happened last night?" I looked over at Alice, "I don't think I've ever seen him this before."

"He'll be okay." She assured me, "His pride's a little sore, is all."

"Oh." I mumbled. Then I remembered, "What was your head-shake about? Just a bit ago?"

She sighed, "I'm just not sure I like how good you still are at lying to cover someone else when you need to. Leandra, that was believable."

"I never used to be good at lying to you guys." I reminded her, "That's what got me into trouble in the first place."

"What do you mean by that?" She asked.

"If I wasn't so bad at lying to you guys," I reasoned, "You never would have looked twice that day. You'd probably have just ignored me for the rest of the day. I was really bad at lying."

"That's not true." She replied, "Remember? It wasn't just me that looked twice. I didn't need to tell Edward anything. He was already onto you before you left the cafeteria."

"True." I muttered, "It's so weird to think about how much he had to have heard, and still stayed calm. I mean, a few times, I thought he was mad at me for something I said, but besides that, he was calm."

"That was the difficult part of it all." She confirmed with a nod, "It was really hard on him to know for a fact that you were in trouble, and being unable to do anything about it."

I sighed this time, "It's still weird to think about back then, you know? I feel like so much has changed since then."

"It has." She replied, "But it really hasn't been that long, Leandra."

"It feels like it." I argued lightly, "Like forever ago, but like just yesterday at the same time." I hesitated, "What would you have done if I hadn't called Carlisle that day?" She looked over at me, "What would you have done if I'd have had to stay in California this whole time?"

"You wouldn't have been in California this whole time." She answered, "The second Jack got back without you, I would have known something was wrong. I would have found you. Somehow. Even if the others didn't exactly agree."

"They didn't?" I asked.

"Edward's relationship with Bella was still new." She explained, "There was still the possibility that things could go horribly wrong. Adding another human into the equation to worry about was plain foolish. Especially one that seemed to constantly resist any attempt on our part to assist them."

She had a point there.

"The deciding factor, Leandra, was when you chose to call." She went on, "Had you not called that day, I don't think Carlisle would have insisted so much. It would have been a shame, for sure, but there wasn't much he could do for you if you were so insistent on staying right where you were.

"But I wouldn't have given up on you." She added, "Not for a second. I would have tracked you down, no matter how long it took."

"Because of my gift?"

"Partially." She answered, "But also because you've never known what it's like for someone to be more stubborn than you. You admitted that yourself. I wasn't about to let that pattern continue. I've never had much of a chance to make such a difference in someone's life before. I saw an opportunity, and I took it."

"I was pretty stupid, wasn't I?"

"Not stupid." She corrected firmly, "No, Leandra. You weren't stupid. Fear makes the best of us do things we wouldn't normally do. He had such a tight grip on you, that you saw no way out, even with one being offered. It was the day you decided to run from Jack that everything ahead of you changed for the better."

"It was Ken that did it." I sighed, "I think that makes a difference. I didn't really choose to run from Jack. I ran from Ken." She stayed quiet, and I knew by looking over that she was thinking about what I had just said. I went on, "And if Ken hadn't kissed me like he did, I probably wouldn't have run. Outside, when Jack was telling me to come back to him, I only ran because I knew Jack was going to leave me there with his dad."

"Maybe that's why you're having such a hard time accepting the way things are now." She mused quietly, "You weren't choosing to run from how things were, but you were choosing to run from the current situation."

"That makes a difference." I repeated.

"That doesn't change the way things are now." She replied, "How or why you chose to run doesn't make a difference in where you are now in your life."

"But it makes a difference in how I think." I countered, "It might have changed my future, but it didn't change the way I thought about things."

"True." She said, "But there is always the option to. You always have the option to let go of the things that no longer rule your life. That's how you adapt. That's how you change. That's how you keep him from ruling your life."

"But Jack still rules my life." I argued, "Remember? Remember what I said? Just because he's not here right now, doesn't mean I don't still see him. I still see him all the time. Just because he's not here, doesn't change that.

"I'm not allowed to let it go." I went on, "As long as he's still out there, I'm always going to be worried. He hunts people, Alice. No matter how long it takes, he hunts them down until he has them right where he wants them again. It happened to Heather, and it happened to my mom. He doesn't let them go.

"That's the whole reason I tried to lie to you in the first place. I knew that no matter how bad things were, they could always get worse if he wanted them to." I paused for a deep sigh, "And if he's getting mad enough to kidnap Lily, or to burn down Alyssa's house, what do you think is going to happen to me?"

"Nothing." She finally replied, "Nothing is going to happen to you. I know by now that no matter what we tell you, you're going to worry until he's caught. I can't change that. Nobody can, but I hope that you'll see someday soon that you can trust us when we tell you you're safe."

"I do trust you." I muttered, "But sometimes, things go wrong, remember?"

"_Stop_ thinking about what all can go wrong."

"If I don't, then who will?"

"We will." She replied.

"You guys already have so much to worry about." I replied, "I'm not dumb. Just because you don't tell me what it is you're worried about, doesn't mean I don't see it. Not knowing what's worrying you just makes me worry more, because then, it could be anything. I just want to know what it is I'm actually supposed to be worried about, instead of worrying about everything that it could be."

"She has a point." I looked up a little at Jasper's voice suddenly beside the couch, "I think she's right. As much as we want to, we can't hide everything from her. We might as well be honest with her."

"Perhaps if we're as honest as we can with her, she'll learn to trust us more." Esme added from the side, "Secrets and lies, no matter their intent, tends to push anyone away."

"She'll overworry." Alice shook her head.

"She's already overworrying." Jasper replied calmly, "Besides. Trust is a two way street. We can't expect her to be honest with us, and expect her to believe what we tell her, when we lie to her consistently in some attempt to spare her feelings. How can we expect her to believe us, when she's fully aware we're lying to her?"

Esme nodded, agreeing with Jasper.

"All we're doing by lying to spare her a little worry is pushing her away." He reasoned, "Of course, I don't mean providing every detail, but we can at least make an effort to be honest."

"I don't agree with this." Carlisle made his appearance, "She's too young."

"She's never been young." Jasper insisted, "Her mind works differently. Her thoughts, her reactions and her emotions have never been like other humans her age, Carlisle. You know that. She may be young in years, but she's definitely not too young to understand that things are not how they're supposed to be."

I stayed quiet through all of this. I didn't want to interrupt, and possibly change the direction of the discussion. I wanted it to go in my favor, but I had a feeling if I spoke, it would just ruin that.

"How do you expect her to trust you most of all, Carlisle, when you simply refuse to be honest with her?" Jasper asked, "How is it any of us can wonder why she holds her trust back, when she feels like she can't believe what we tell her?"

I appreciated Jasper arguing in my favor. Frowning in thought, Carlisle looked down. I watched him, waiting for what he'd say next. Alice looked down as well, shaking her head a little.

"She's smarter than that, Carlisle." Esme offered quietly, "She's far more observant than you're willing to give her credit for. She wants to trust you most of all, but it's so difficult for her to do that when we lie to her."

I knew by the way Carlisle looked at me that he was strongly thinking it over. I could see his reasoning, but I also agreed with Jasper. I would rather know what I'm supposed to be worried about, instead of the entire endless assortment of possibilities.

"She can know the basics." Carlisle finally sighed, "You're right. She deserves honesty, but I don't want her knowing too many details."

I wasn't smug. It wasn't that I had gotten my way. I was just grateful that he'd made that decision, instead of choosing to keep me completely in the dark.

"I promise I won't mess this up." I said, and he looked to me, "I won't freak out again."

"I hope you're right." He replied, but he frowned, "What happened?" My cheek must have been more flushed than I thought. I knew it'd probably a little while longer before it stopped being pink. Hesitantly, I looked to Alice.

"No more lies, Leandra." She told me, "And definitely not to protect someone else."

"Zack." I muttered after a moment, "He hit me." Given Alice's nod, she approved.

"Why?" Carlisle asked, concerned.

"It was my fault." I said, "This time, I know it's my fault, and I'm not just saying that."

He obviously didn't like that, so I explained. I told him everything that happened, so none of them were confused about the details.

"Mike is handling it." Alice offered once my explanation was out of the way, "He was there when Zack hit her, so he's aware of it."

I shrugged a little, "We're even now. I just feel bad that he's in trouble for what I did."

"You're in trouble too." Alice replied, and I looked to her, "Remember? The graduation party?" I whined, reminded as Jasper chuckled.

"Like I said," I grumbled, "I'd rather be punched in the face."

"And like I said," She countered, "That's not happening, so you might as well come to terms with it."

"Fine." I said, "I'll go, but don't make me wear that stupid dress."

"What do you have against dresses, Leandra?" She asked, "Why do you hate them so much?"

"I don't like them." I replied, looking down.

"You've got to have a reason." She prompted. She'd never expressly asked about this before. I did have a reason, but it made me nervous to think about.

"I used to wear them all the time when I was little." I said, and I wanted to just leave it at that.

"And.." She didn't seem to understand, "You just got tired of it?" I stayed quiet for a moment, until she spoke again, "Honesty, Leandra. Remember?" Of course I remembered, but this was hard.

"Jack finally stopped making me wear them when I was like seven or eight." I admitted, "He didn't need me to wear them anymore, because he had stopped bothering me during the day by then. It was all at night." I wasn't exactly liking this flip side to the whole honesty thing, "Why do you think I've always hated sitting on someone's lap?" Jack made me hate that long before he ever made me meet his dad.

They were all aware of my aversion to the whole thing. Everyone, but Esme. Esme was allowed to hold me on her lap. I wasn't sure what made her so different, but she was allowed. Nobody else, and nobody ever tried to push it, thankfully.

"I hate him so much." Jasper admitted quietly, and I knew he understood. If he understood, the others understood. It was easy to understand my reasons when I expressed them like that.

"I just hate the way they make me feel." I said, "I hated being so open back then, and I still do."

"Alright." Alice finally sighed, "I've got an idea. I can compromise." I nodded a little, "I'll be right back." I watched her stand up, and head for the stairs.

"I'm so sorry, honey." Esme offered quietly. I gave a small smile, trying to let her know it was okay, but I looked down when that failed. I hated having to give so many details, but in this case, it was needed.

Alice returned, sitting back down beside me. Handing me some fabric. I frowned a little, looking it over. They looked like really thin pants. Thick enough to be pants, but light enough to just cover.

"Those ones would be big on you." She said, "But I can get you your own pair to wear under the dress." That was a huge compromise, "You can wear them like pants, or like shorts, if we just roll up the legs a little. Either way would be fine. Would that work?"

"That works." I said, nodding and handing back the fabric, and she smiled, "Thank you."

"No problem." She said, "If I'd known why you hated dresses before, I'd have done this for you then." Maybe honesty wasn't so bad, "I just thought you hated them because of how much of a tom-boy you are."

I shook my head, "I've always hated them."

"Noted." She assured me, "We understand now."

"Okay.." I muttered, "Since I was honest.." I trailed off. I knew they knew what I was getting at, and I waited for them to shut me up with the usual 'don't worry about it's and the 'it's nothing's. When that never came, I spoke again, "Can I ask something?"

"Fair is fair." Alice sighed, glancing to Carlisle.

"I want to know about what happened in New York." I said, "There was someone there, you said so yourself. How did they get away if Emmett was like right there?"

"They weren't after you, Leandra." Alice replied, "That's what Carlisle brought you home to find out. We needed to know if whoever this was was after you, by where he went. He didn't follow you. He stayed in New York until the others came home. Which means, he's following us. Not you."

"So.." That was a fairly decent relief, "Who was it?"

"Nobody human." She answered quietly, and that suddenly solved all my confusion. Every bit of it. That was how they got away so fast, and to get out when they did. That was how they knew nobody but me was there. That's how they knew to avoid the room I was in.

"Oh." I muttered, sitting back. I wasn't quite as afraid of that answer as I knew I should have been, "So it's another vampire?"

"The fact that you were left alive and unharmed proves he's just curious." She nodded a little, "He was only there to look around."

"So why did Emmett say it's a problem?"

"Because if his curiosity about us brings him that close to you again, who knows if his control will hold out?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know how he could get any closer to me than he was that night." I replied, "He was right there."

"We can't let him get that close to you again." Jasper shook his head, "It was dangerous."

I hesitated.

"I saw him." I finally realized, "That first night I was there. Emmett said nobody had been there." Alice sighed, confirming with a nod.

"He didn't want you to worry." She explained, "So he told you nobody was there, to make you think you were seeing something again."

"I would rather have known." I replied, "Just so I wasn't so mixed up. I know Emmett and Rose can protect me just as easy as you can. Plus, two of them and one of him. I wouldn't have been afraid. I was so scared that night, because I thought whoever it was was working with Jack. I was so scared he was going to pull me out. If it was just a curious vampire, I would have been fine."

"The problem is," Jasper pointed out, "We didn't know at the time if he was only curious or not. We had no idea what his intentions were."

"True." I muttered, "But still."

Jasper sighed, "We still need to keep him away from you. I don't trust others or their control when it comes to you." I nodded a little to that. That was fair enough. I knew enough to know that not every vampire was as skilled at leaving humans alive as my family was. That was something that took a whole lot of will-power and practice.

I thought of another question.

"Why is Emmett so mad at himself today?" I asked, looking to Alice.

"I told you." She replied, "His pride is hurt. He took a chance when he shouldn't have, and the result was the rest of us missing an opportunity that we couldn't afford to miss. He really could have gotten himself hurt too, by what he did, and he knows that."

I bit my bottom lip carefully.

"Well.." I sighed, "I'm glad he didn't get hurt."

"Me too." She nodded, "We all are glad he was okay, and he knows we're more relieved by that than mad at him for what he did, but he's still.. Sort of stuck in the middle of blaming himself."

"I know that feeling." I mumbled, and she nodded a little. Giving a glance around, I sighed again, "Can I ask about Alyssa?"

"We never found the one who set the fire." Carlisle answered that one, which was saying something, "The scent was too distorted to follow." I didn't quite like that.

"I've been in contact with Alyssa's father." He went on, "Twice today, in fact, but he's reluctant to accept any offer of mine. Much too proud to do so. I plan to keep trying, if only to get his family back together."

"Thank you." I told him, and he nodded.

"Right now," He went on, "Alyssa, and her younger siblings are with their mother in Syracuse, New York. Rosalie is keeping an eye on Alyssa and her siblings there, to make sure their mother doesn't become a threat, among the obvious reasons.

"I realize that living with their father isn't much better than living with their mother, but I also know their only request is to stay together. After the devastating loss they've suffered, I'm taking that request into consideration."

I nodded again, looking down. I deeply appreciated the fact that he was keeping that request in mind. He obviously had that situation handled. I didn't need to worry so much. I knew he wouldn't just forget about her.

"You'll be one of the first to know when Alyssa's father accepts my offer, as I know how worried you are about them." He told me, "You have my word on that."

"Thank you." I said again, and he gave another nod.

"As for Jack," Jasper spoke up, "Which I know you've been concerned about since it began, we have yet to find a definite location. The fact that he's using other people to do his work for him keeps him out of the way. We've extensively searched every major city, apart from Seattle, within a five state radius of both Washington and New York, as well as southern Canada, but nobody seems to have seen him."

Wow. They'd been busy.

"We've got our own contacts out there, and the second someone sees or hears anything about him, we'll be notified."

"That's what Emmett was talking about." I nodded a little, "When he said something about information you'd been given." Jasper nodded, confirming that.

"That's right." He replied, "We can't be everywhere at once, so we've enlisted the help of a few influential people in the area. Until then, we wait. Our focus currently is getting Alyssa back with her family, and in one location. Preferably somewhere easy to keep an eye on them.

"We've found ourselves stretched thin, however. There are many things that require our attention here as well as everything regarding Jack and your safety." I winced.

"But you've searched every major city?" I asked, leaning forward a little. I was interested in that.

"Yes." He answered.

"What about the smaller cities?" I asked, "I know that's a lot more work, but he'd want you to think he's in a big place, when he's really in a shack somewhere. Just to run you around in circles."

"You think?" Jasper asked, obviously interested.

"You said you have people keeping an eye out for him in the bigger cities." I said, "A smaller city means less people to recognize him. He could be here in town somewhere, or right nearby. He wants to be close, just so I can't get away from him.

"I don't think he's the one killing everybody there, though. He likes to see how much he can get away with, and he likes attention, but not that much attention because it'd be no fun for him if he got caught."

With a thoughtful nod, Jasper looked to Carlisle. Reaching over, Alice hugged me into her side. Both a comforting gesture, and a gesture displaying her gratitude. Maybe I was actually being of some help? I knew the way his mind worked.

"What else can you tell us?" Jasper asked. I frowned in thought.

"I think he hates his dad just as much as I do." I said, "I could tell that by how they talked to each other, but Jack listens to him. I don't know why, but he does. Ken.. I think it was his idea to have Jack leave me there. Jack kept telling me how much he didn't want to, and how what he was doing was my fault. I don't think he was going to do it until he found Carlisle's card near my bag. After that, Ken and Jack talked a lot and Jack gave him my papers."

"So Jack isn't deciding alone." Jasper observed.

"Probably not." I replied, "If he was, he probably would have done something stupid by now to get him caught."

"That certainly explains a few things." Carlisle sighed.

"I don't know what my mom is doing with them," I muttered, "But she has to still be with them, or you'd have found them by now."

"Did your mother know Ken before all of this started?" Carlisle asked, and I frowned a little.

"I don't think so." I replied, "I never met him before, but there's still those years that I don't remember. You could probably ask Heather. She'd know more than I would. She could tell you more about him, too. I really don't know him that well." He gave a nod, sighing, "The only one I could really tell you about is Jack. I only know my mom as a drunk. I don't know what she's like when she's not." Beside me, Alice looked down.

"Like.." I sighed, "Jack has no choice but to listen to what Ken tells him to do. He wouldn't have wanted to leave me there if his dad didn't tell him to."

"How did Jack find the card?" Alice asked, obviously confused, "Weren't you hiding it from him?"

"Yeah." I replied, "I was hiding it, but it was Zack that did it. I'd been outside with the boys, and everyone thought I was getting too hot in the sweater I wore, so Zack ran upstairs to get me a t-shirt from my bag. Well, I guess to do that, he thought he had to dump everything in my bag onto the floor. Including the card." Alice winced, "I didn't know that until Jack dragged me upstairs to ask about it. I swear, I tried to be careful with it, but.. I guess I wasn't careful enough."

I sighed, "When Heather gave it back to me, I hid it in a pair of socks at the bottom of my bag, just so Jack wouldn't find it again if he looked for it. Good thing, too, because I had to use it the next day."

"You had time to grab it before you ran away?" Jasper asked, obviously confused.

I laughed a little. Humorless, incredulous. There was no way I could have stopped to grab the card before I ran. How did they not know this stuff? I realized I'd been hiding more from them than I thought. This was a detail I didn't really mind explaining. There was so much they still didn't know.

"No." I said, "I grabbed it before. I.. Was going to call when Jack left the room. I was tired from sleeping on the floor, and pretty sore from the hit with the belt he gave me that morning, and I was going to call. Just to talk, but I didn't get a chance to before Ken came to talk to me first.

"So I put it in my back pocket, since I couldn't put it back into the bag with him watching me so close. Even though he chased me all over that stupid house, it was there when I needed it just a little while later." I looked down. I hated thinking about how scared I was.

"Why was he chasing you?" Jasper frowned.

"Because I ran from him." I muttered, "I think he hates me running from him more than Jack does, but I couldn't help it. I _had_ to. He was faster than me, though. He picked me up, and shook me a few times, which really hurt, but I hated him yelling at me even more."

"Is that why you don't like to be picked up?" Alice asked.

"Partly." I shrugged, "I think it was because Jack used to shake me and throw me when I was little."

"Throw you?" Esme asked, surprised.

"Yeah." I replied, "Usually at the wall. He stopped doing that when I hit my head too hard once." Concerned, she looked to Carlisle, "He didn't want to accidentally kill me when he could do it on purpose.

"Jack likes to beat me more.. More than the other thing, but Ken is different. I think it's the opposite for him. Ken likes to hurt without leaving a mark that anyone can see. He told me." I shrugged a little, "I don't know if he was just trying to scare me when he showed me what he means by that, but it works."

I knew what all this was about. This was still all part of the honesty thing, but also to help me along with my memories.

"See, that bothers me." Jasper sighed, "The present tense in which you still talk about them."

"Sorry." I replied, "I didn't notice I was doing it." Which was true this time. I really hadn't noticed.

Thankfully, they stopped with the pressing. I had been as honest as I could, which proved I was willing to try if they were. They'd been honest first, so it had been my turn, and it seemed to work.

It had been a very enlightening day so far. So many of my questions had been answered, and it honestly felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My worries had narrowed themselves down, and I could focus more, instead of my worries being everywhere at once and being expected to be okay with that.

Emmett finally came back much later that day, just before I ate dinner, and he seemed to be in a much better mood than he'd been in when I got here. That relieved me, but I still didn't want to press him. After learning all I had about what everyone had been up to just to protect me, I didn't especially want to press any of them. I did have more questions, though.

The news was on, and I noticed finally what they were saying about Seattle. I didn't understand how important it was before, but I paid more attention now. After what Alyssa had said about Seattle, and what I knew about it so far, I needed to pay more attention. Even Carlisle joined in to watch was was going on this time.

I sat there in my usual spot next to Emmett. Jasper sitting on the other end of the couch, and Carlisle in the chair, just watching in silence. They probably didn't expect me to pay much attention, like I'd been doing.

Murders and disappearances. General unexplained chaos. They were saying something about a possible serial killer, and I got nervous. This had obviously been going on for quite some time, but why didn't I notice it before? There was no way all of that could be caused by one person.

"Maybe that serial killer will kill Jack." I muttered out of the blue, causing every pair of eyes in the room to look my direction, "I hope he does."

"That isn't funny." Jasper murmured, and I sighed, sitting up from where I slouched on the couch.

"I wasn't trying to be funny. I was being serious." I replied. Slowly, I tore my eyes from the TV, over to Jasper, "How long has it been going on?"

"Quite some time." He replied, "And it's not as simple as some serial killer. It's far worse than that." I frowned, looking back to the TV. For the first time, I was given more of an answer about all this, and nobody was stopping him. Probably due to the discussion we'd had just a few hours earlier. I needed more, though.

"You know what's causing it, though?" I asked.

"Yes." He sighed, glancing over at me, "We know. Whatever is going on in Seattle isn't caused by a human, Leandra."

"What?" Emmett muttered, "When did we start filling her in?"

I hesitated, piecing together what he was saying. Ignoring Emmett.

"What, vampires are causing this?" I couldn't believe my question. Slowly, Jasper nodded, not giving me any details. What would my family possibly have to fear? There were seven of them. Unless there was more than seven in Seattle.

"Maybe that's where the one following you came from." I suggested, pointing to the TV, "Maybe he's a good one. Like you."

"I highly doubt it." Jasper replied.

"But he left me alive."

"That could have been for any number of reasons."

My mind, slower than usual, moved toward another question, "Why would vampires want to do this, anyway? I mean, isn't it a rule or something not to destroy a city?" I was confused.

"It's complicated, Leandra."

"Seriously." Emmett spoke again, "When did we start answering her? I don't disagree with it, but I'm so lost."

"It was decided while you were out that it's best to keep her updated as much as possible." Carlisle answered him, "As much as I hate to do so, it's the best way."

I frowned in thought again, leaning back once more.

It was a rule not to throw a fit in a place where someone could see. Vampires had to hide themselves from humans, that rule set in place by the ones I remembered from the vision. In all that was going on nearly made me forget about all of that, and everything I remembered. I just didn't have the space in my head to think about that too, but I finally began to understand just how much had been on my family's minds.

"Aro wouldn't do something like this, would he?" Once again, I took their attention.

"Definitely not." Again, Jasper was the one to answer me, "He'd be the one to stop it, but we can't let it get that far."

"Why not?" I surprised myself by continuing to ask. Jasper looked my way now, probably mildly surprised as well, "I-I mean, why not just let him handle it? Why would it be your job to clean up after them? And wouldn't it be better to just stay as far away from that mess as possible?"

"Seattle is far too close for them to resist coming to check on Bella." He answered after a moment. I was so far out of the loop. Them, meaning the three of them? Or the whole group they were associated with? And why?

"Why would they check on Bella?" I asked quietly, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's human." Carlisle responded this time, and I looked to him, "That's a problem."

"So am I." I frowned a little, "And- Oh." They knew I figured it out, given my flattened tone. I was quiet for a minute, "So, if Aro goes to Seattle to deal with the mess there, he could come here." Slowly, Jasper nodded again, "What would he do if he found out about me?" That was the question. I knew I never liked Aro, but could this be the reason?

Jasper stood up as Carlisle sighed and answered me, "Chances are, he already knows about you."

"Well, that's good then, right?" I asked, "Since he hasn't come here yet, he must not care."

"He's made no conscious decision to come asking." Jasper answered, "But that doesn't mean he can't change his mind at any moment and decide to do so."

"Oh." I mumbled. He had a point. I had to ask, "What would happen if he came asking?" This time, nobody spoke up. I looked from Jasper, to Carlisle. Neither returned my gaze. Looking beside me at Emmett, he looked down, "Please tell me."

"There are many ways it could go wrong." Carlisle finally sighed, "So many solutions to what he'd consider to be a problem that he could come up with. He'd consider you a danger."

"I'm not dangerous." I frowned a little, "Not to you guys. I'd never tell anyone anything."

"That wouldn't matter much to Aro, shorty." Emmett murmured.

"What would he do?" I asked him, "I need to know."

"He could take you, and kill us." Jasper replied pointedly, and I whimpered. I didn't particularly like that answer.

"Or kill you, leaving us alive." Emmett added. I looked to him now, "As a lesson."

"Or only settle with taking you." Carlisle spoke up, probably to try to control my panic, "Given your gift, he wouldn't willingly choose to react so drastically. It's far too useful to him, even as undeveloped as it is. He'd never willingly destroy anyone with such a useful ability."

I sat still for a moment, thinking. Considering that.

"I know Aro, and I know the way he thinks." Carlisle added. I sighed, definitely not used to thinking about other things, and this was definitely a big something else.

"For right now," Jasper spoke up, seeing my worry, "We'll observe from here. There's definitely no reason to rush in without understanding the full situation."

"They.. These other vampires in Seattle, they could hurt you too." I murmured, and he looked to me. It wasn't a question.

"I don't want you worrying about this." Jasper said, "You've got plenty on your mind already." Normally, in the past, I would have laughed and told him that was impossible. The only thing I could do now, however, was nod and take a breath. He was right.

"Leandra." I looked over at Esme's voice, "Are you hungry?" She'd been working on dinner. I sighed, standing. I needed a distraction anyway.

I followed her back into the kitchen, taking my usual seat at the counter. I accepted the glass of water she offered, sipping it gratefully. Despite Jasper's words, I couldn't help considering it. What would happen to me, if anything happened to them? I needed them.

"Really, honey." She murmured, "Please don't worry."

"Where would I go if something happened to you?" I asked quietly. I really needed to know.

"Nothing is going to happen." She assured me, but I still wondered.

"Where would I go?" I insisted.

"There are at least two options, Leandra." She sighed, "Precautions that could be taken. If anything at all were to happen, which it won't, and none of us could care for you anymore, you'd have a place to go. It would be your choice to go to either Heather, or your father. Both would be willing to take you in and care for you in the event that it's needed, I think."

That both eased me, and worried me at the same time. She'd obviously given this some thought. Though it was always a good idea to think about things like this, I still didn't like it.

I took a breath, and decided not to ask again, despite how I needed to know more. I couldn't add all this on to everything else as well. Not and keep my sanity. I had to keep in mind that they knew what they were doing. That was the best I could do.

Over the day or so, I began to finally really notice the stress through the house. Things in Seattle were only getting worse, and every time I saw the news on, it made me more nervous, because I knew they were watching it closely. Keeping an eye on whatever was going on. Watching whatever those other vampires were doing. I saw the news now in a different way.

The stress was clear in my family's eyes as well. Not just their expressions, but the color. It was dangerous to let their eyes get that dark, and I knew that clearly. Whatever they were worried about was obviously something much bigger than I thought if they were letting themselves get that far behind in hunting, and the trip they'd taken that Friday night wasn't about hunting animals. They'd been hunting something else.

And with me, constantly walking around them, I might as well have been teasing them. They didn't seem to hold that against me, but because of that, I chose to stay out of the way.

I wasn't their main focus anymore. Not because they didn't want to devote the attention, but because they couldn't afford to. Whatever else was going on was stealing it from me.

I tried to be understanding. I did, but I couldn't deny that it bothered me. I couldn't deny that it left me feeling a little vulnerable. With their focus elsewhere, who was focusing on Jack?

The day after Bella and Edward returned from their weekend trip to Florida, Monday night, Edward brought Bella over, agitated about the scent of another vampire in her house. I had to wonder. Could it have been the same one that had followed us to New York?

I hadn't had much chance to talk about what happened in New York with the vampire there, but it wasn't like there was any use in talking about it anyway. I hadn't gotten a good look. It was amazing enough that what I'd seen hadn't been just some trick my mind was playing on me. There had been someone there, and that was proof enough that I wasn't crazy.

Jasper and Emmett returned later Monday night from where they'd gone to investigate the scent at Bella's house, stepping passed me where I stood carefully out of the way, into the living room. On his way by, Emmett gently patted my shoulder. Letting me know that he knew I was there.

I turned, heading up the hall into my room. It was passed my usual bedtime anyway. My staying out of the way meant doing everything I could to let them talk to each other about what was bothering them.

Crossing the room, I quickly changed into my pajamas, and I sighed as I laid across my bed on my stomach. Reaching forward, I pulled Mikah's snow-globe to me, resting it on the bed in front of me. I watched as the upset little flakes of 'snow' swirled slightly.

I turned, laying right on my bed, before resting the globe on the pillow beside my head and starting the song. Immediately, my thoughts drifted back to Mikah. Just like they always did when I heard this song. His song.

I hadn't had much chance to think about how I felt about Mikah since coming back from New York. Had I moved on yet? Definitely not. Would I still constantly think about him? Always. He just didn't know what kind of impact he'd made on my life.

I let my eyes close, and I hummed quietly to the song. It was quiet, though, only under my breath. I saw the words to the song in my mind, struggling to focus only on them as the song played beside me.

Outside, a quiet rumble of thunder signified some rain was on its way, but it wasn't worrying. It was almost calming. My eyes opened again as I reached over, shaking the globe a little. Studying the dark gray of the background, the plastic figure of a boat on some rough waves as the 'snow' fluttered and settled. I studied it like I'd studied it many times before, and it was like I never got bored of it.

I rolled a little, reaching out to the drawer in my bedside table. Lifting the second gift Mikah had given me. Rather, that he had intended to give me before he'd disappeared. The soft satin box, the birthstone pendant inside. I'd even kept the little note he'd written inside the box.

I usually avoided looking at this, but tonight, I just couldn't help it.

"I will do something." Mikah had written on a small piece of paper. The paper was still perfect. Only folded in the middle. Rolling again, I laid on my back, looking over the paper like I expected it to change what it said. Like I was hoping for something more.

"What would you tell me?" I sighed to myself. I missed him so much, and it wasn't going away. I needed to know what he'd say. What would he say if he knew what was going on now?

Until Jack was caught, there wasn't much hope anywhere to be found.

With as many things as they had to worry about, how long until my family missed a step? Just one moment was all it would take. Of course, I'd never tell them how much I still worried, but I couldn't help it.

With the song tinkling quietly beside me, and Mikah's words and voice in my head, I closed my eyes.

**A/N: I almost completely screwed this chapter up. Thankfully, I didn't, and I managed to save it, but it was a close one. It's a little long, but we're learning things, aren't we? That's a good thing. :)  
I completely LOVED the reviews you guys left me! THANK YOU! For taking the time to review, and let me know what you think! THANK YOU!**  
**I've got an idea or two about Mikah's return, since everyone already knows it's coming. It's gonna be tricky, but let's see what happens. :)  
Seven is going to be a big one, guys. A lot happens in it, but I think you'll approve. :)**  
**Until Seven, my friends! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

The following morning, I rolled over, oddly confused about having fallen asleep.

Someone had obviously been in to check on me, because my lamp had been turned off, and the gifts Mikah had given me now sat on my bedside table. I felt a little stupid about whoever it'd been to seeing these presents out for me to look at, but I thought about it. They understood.

It was common knowledge to everyone that I missed him. That eased my embarrassment quite a bit. Sitting up, I sighed. Instead of picking them up, though, I left them there, and reached for the stuffed turtle Zack had given me the year before for my birthday. I plucked it from the headboard of my bed, where it always sat and pulled it to me.

It bothered me that I hadn't been able to talk to him about what happened. I'd still been shaken up about what happened in New York, and he shouldn't have snuck up on me like that. I just didn't like being stuck in the middle of a fight with him.

How long did I have to make up with him? I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. I tried not to think about it like that, but it was hard not to. Standing, I left my room, relocating in hopes of changing the way I thought.

I sat down tiredly at the end of the couch with a deep sigh. Oddly, despite the sleep I'd gotten, I felt too tired. Too warm in my own skin, like I was weighed down by a fever, and I hated it. It was still rainy this morning, but not that bad.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Esme asked from her seat beside me. Carlisle and Emmett looked over from where they sat. I wasn't sure why she would ask. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night, and I'd been out of the way for a few days. Maybe because I had been out of the way for a few days. They hadn't had the chance to ask much.

I sighed a little.

"I feel off today." I admitted quietly, rubbing my stomach with my fingers absentmindedly. Her expression opened in concern.

"Do you feel sick?"

"No," I muttered, shaking my head, "Not really sick. Just off. Weird."

"Leandra," I looked over as both Alice and Jasper descended the stairs, "I wanted to ask you about your gift."

I frowned a little, "What about it?"

"Have you worked on it?" She asked, fitting herself on the edge of the couch next to me. She smiled a little, "Have you tried to remember?" Was that what this was about?

"Alice." Carlisle spoke, obviously disapproving.

I looked down briefly before looking over at Alice, "No. I know I should have, but I've been pretty distracted. By everything."

"Any chance you can attempt to sometime soon?" She asked.

"I don't know what happens." I sighed, "If I don't know it without thinking about it, I don't want to think about it." Just like I was told to do. It must have been more important than I thought if she was going back on what she told me before like this.

"I only mean to try." She replied, "Don't push yourself, but it could be helpful to know."

"I'll try, but no promises."

"That's all we ask." She smiled again.

It fell quiet for a moment or two while I struggled to feel a little better. I thought of a question, though.

"Was it the same scent?" I asked, looking to Esme, "The one in Bella's house. Was it the same as the one in New York?"

She seemed reluctant to answer.

"No." She finally said, "No, it wasn't the same. According to Jasper," I glanced to him at her mention, "The two scents had nothing in common, which probably means they didn't even know each other."

"Oh." I mumbled. That was both confusing, and concerning. Two separate vampires, roaming where they shouldn't? Which only meant more stress for the family.

"But whoever had visited in New York hasn't been around here lately." She assured me, "So I don't think he's a threat or here to cause trouble."

"Haven't you tried talking to him?" I asked.

"That could be really dangerous." Jasper answered for her, "Truthfully, we have no idea who he is or where he came from. We don't know his intentions. We have to approach other vampires like that carefully, Leandra, and with him just as unwilling to meet with us, we're not comfortable pushing it."

"Good point." I admitted with a sigh.

"I'd just prefer to be cautious." Jasper added, "That's all." I nodded. I understood that. Why go looking for a potential fight? They had enough to worry about as it was.

I didn't have to sit there and question that for very long, thanks to the knock at the front door. Esme smiled a little, standing up.

"It's only your father." She told me, probably to keep me from worrying. Nobody seemed surprised at his arrival, though. Nobody but me.

"He's here kind of early, isn't he?" I frowned a little, "It's only eight-thirty."

"I invited him here." Carlisle spoke up, "It was a little short notice. There's a reason for this visit."

"What'd I do?" I had to ask, and Emmett chuckled.

"Always assuming you're in trouble." Emmett muttered, "Listen up, shorty. If you haven't blown anything up or killed anyone, chances are you're okay."

"You haven't done anything wrong." Carlisle assured me. I looked over as Jasper settled into the chair, Alice choosing to change her seat to the armrest of the chair Jasper had chosen instead.

I stood up myself as Esme led my dad into the room, smiling at me as she did so. My dad greeted me with a smile as well, and I felt a little embarrassed. Standing there, still in my pajamas.

"Nobody told me you were coming over." I explained, gesturing to my sleep shirt, "Or I would have gotten dressed." I couldn't help noticing the small bag he carried. I couldn't see what was inside it, but I had to admit that I was curious.

"Nah." He said, hugging me lightly, "It's fine. How are you, baby?"

"Good, I guess." I sighed, finding my seat again.

"You guess?" He asked, setting his bag to the side with a chuckle.

"I guess." I confirmed, and he chuckled again. He already seemed a lot less stressed. Actually happy today. Less stressed, but more rushed. I decided to ask, "How's Rachel?"

"Miserable." He replied, sighing as he took the seat Esme offered him, "But I certainly can't blame her. She's hanging in there, though. About a week, but I'm estimating just a few days until that kid is born. I'm surprised she's made it this far with all the stress. Of moving, and whatnot." That afterthought was thrown in for my benefit, no doubt.

"That kid?" I asked, laughing a little at his tone. I had to admit that it was funny. He was going to be 'that kid's father.

"I only say that with love." He laughed as well, "You were peanut there for weeks after you were born."

"That's still better than 'that kid'." I pointed out, "Why peanut?"

"Because that's what you looked like the first time I saw you." He explained, "Just a peanut. Not even a big peanut. Just a little tiny dot."

"That's weird." I couldn't help laughing, though. Someone who knew me before I was a full person was sitting right across from me. It felt so strange to me.

"That's sort of why I'm here." He admitted.

"To bring peanuts?"

"No." He chuckled, "I came here to see you. See, I heard that today was a pretty special occasion, so.. I came by to see you before you officially became theirs."

I suddenly caught on. Surprised, I looked over at Carlisle. He smiled a little in return. I gathered that today was the day it would become official.

I didn't know what I'd been expecting, but this surprised me. A lot. Maybe I hadn't expected for it to actually happen. Maybe I only considered it a wishful thought, but the fact that it was actually happening now surprised me.

"I take it you didn't know?" My dad asked, and almost numbly, I shook my head, "Well, nobody deserves this more than you do, kiddo." Carlisle hadn't been lying when he said my dad was supportive of it.

"You're okay with this?" I had to make sure. I needed to know.

He took a breath, "Leandra, let me tell you something." I waited as he gathered his thoughts for a moment, "Your happiness means more to me than anything in the world. I wasn't there while you were growing up."

"But that wasn't your fault-"

"Regardless of whose fault it was." He replied, "I wasn't there. You've fought, and you've fought hard to get to where you are right now. What kind of person would I be if I took you away from that?

"I only want you to be happy, Leandra. That's all I care about. It's not my place to tell you where you're happiest. I'm not losing anything, if that's what you're worried about. I'll still be here as long as you let me be. Just because you're officially theirs, doesn't mean I'm going anywhere."

Oddly, I felt like I wanted to cry.

"But look. I brought you something." My dad continued, "You, and your family." That made me feel better, "And I was wondering if you'd be willing to watch it."

"What is it?" I couldn't help noticing how quiet my voice was, and I hoped he couldn't tell how emotional I'd gotten.

"My time with you." He replied, "It's.. It's a collection of pictures and videos I've had all these years. It's something I put together myself, and it's something I thought your family should have."

"Hell yes." Emmett chuckled, reminding me of their presence, "We have to see this."

"Do I have a choice?" I asked, watching as my dad pulled his bag to his side and reached into it. Inside the bag were quite a few clear DVD cases. I didn't bother trying to count them, but I estimated about five or six of them, along with at least two photo albums.

"Nope." Emmett answered, standing. This was going to be humiliating. Not only that, but I wasn't sure I wanted to see all of this. Maybe there was a reason I didn't remember this part of my life. Maybe I just didn't want to remember.

But watching this was the least I could do. I just dreaded it. I sighed, sitting down on the armrest of the couch. Esme took the spot on the couch right beside me, which I appreciated.

Emmett took the disk he offered, and got it going. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the worst I was convinced was to come.

The video started, and I blinked in surprise. It was my mom. She stood there, her hands on her hips with a very annoyed but amused look on her face. Obviously very pregnant, and she reminded me of the way Rachel looked.

What surprised me so much was that she was upright. Annoyed, but wide awake.

My dad and I glanced to each other the second I saw her. He gave me an apologetic look, as he knew I hated her.

"Is this necessary?" She asked, obviously talking to my dad who held the camera, "Come on." She laughed.

"There has to be a before and after." Was my dad's reply, "So how pregnant are you?"

"So that's what she looks like awake." Alice commented, and I couldn't help smiling a little. Amused by that. I was glad someone was willing to joke about it.

"Amazing, isn't it?" My dad asked.

"Pregnant enough to kick your ass from here to Utah if you dare show anyone an after." My mom answered on the video, and laughed again.

"Come on." My dad chuckled along with my mom, "You're beautiful. You always will be." She rolled her eyes, but turned sideways. How was she still standing?

"I feel like a blimp." Was her reply. She sighed, and smiled a little, "Three weeks to go. Three long, agonizing weeks. You get to carry the next baby, Chris."

The date on the bottom of the video said July 6th. Almost a week before I was born.

"Aw," My dad replied to her, "But you're so good at it."

"Trying to get on my good side, are you?" She joked back.

The scene changed, to involve me the night I was born. My mom holding me. I understood, though, that there wasn't much chance of filming a new baby without managing to capture the mother as well. She looked so tired, a little more familiar to me, but she was clearly awake. I was so tiny, my fingers couldn't meet around her thumb.

The video moved on to my dad holding me. Same day, but different angle. My mom must have been holding the camera now. Wrapped securely in a soft, pink blanket, I took up hardly any space in his arm. Literally just a bundle. I hadn't realized before just how small I was, even back then.

"That can't be me." I muttered, skeptical, and he chuckled.

"I promise." He replied, "That's you. Trust me, I was there."

"I was so small." I frowned.

"Don't tell that to your mom." He joked, and gave him a look.

My dad filmed the nurses taking my vitals, and cleaning me up a little better. I hated the wipe down, but I guess I loved having my hair washed.

A few short videos of everything that happened those first few days of my life. From my first bath in the hospital, which I hated even more than the wipe down, to my dad attempting to learn how to change a diaper while my mom laughed at the face he made.

To getting ready to go home. Me just a tiny, football sized squirming thing. Me sleeping, me crying. There wasn't much that could be showed of that time, considering I was brand new.

I understood the need to show all this, but I also knew it was only going to get harder to watch. Especially as I saw a lot of my mom at first.

Following straight with me several weeks old, squirming even more, and giving my mom a big smile.

It surprised me to see how involved my mom was during that time, too. It seemed, through these videos, that they got along great. I couldn't understand how everything could go so wrong.

I got to see what I was like before Jack came into my life. How curious I was, how happy I was. Especially as I got older from there. Few weeks, turned into months, and each new video, there was progress. One featuring the tricks my dad would try to get me to stop crying when I was fine, which usually only required me being held by him. He never showed an ounce of impatience during those scenes, but he did look a little tired.

From pushing up on my arms, to rolling over from my back to my front, and back again. Sitting up. My dad and my mom made sure to document everything they could. Six months, seven months, eight months. I was getting older seemingly without a hitch.

My dad even filmed one of my check-ups, which involved getting shots. In both my legs, since my arms were probably too small. I cringed a little at that, knowing I was probably going to bawl my head off. Which, of course, I did. The two nurses which gave me the shots were very quick about it, though, allowing my mom to pick me up quickly.

It was odd for me to see how the way I cried seemed to bother her a lot. She felt bad for me, being the one to hold me after the band-aids were in place. It was the strangest thing to see. I knew it'd probably get a lot weirder from there, though.

The crawling videos were strategically put together. One where I was still getting the hang of it, and the scene after that where I seemed to be a little older, and an expert at it.

A few times, I considered getting up and taking a momentary break, especially during the first Christmas scene, but I never did.

My dad had been the one that introduced me to my first Christmas tree, holding me and singing quietly to me to the music in the background. Gently bouncing me along with it.

I looked over as Esme took my hand, probably noticing the frown on my face as I carefully avoided watching that scene. I still hated Christmas with a passion. I hated every reminder of it. I hated it so much, thanks to Jack.

The scenes moved on, thankfully.

I tried to ignore the small laughs around me. Especially from Emmett. I'd never live this down, but I did find that I was actually a little grateful that they had the chance to see this too. Even if parts of it were embarrassing.

The most embarrassing scenes had to be the ones of me in the bath. As I got bigger, that included little games my dad would play with me. Apparently, I didn't like it when he would put my bathtub toys on the edge of the tub. So I'd go around, knocking them back into the water with me or off the edge onto the floor when I failed to grab them, and he'd go back over and replace them while my mom filmed.

He was very good at distracting me, it seemed.

My mom wasn't hesitant to capture how much he meant to me, or how much I obviously meant to him. No doubt about it, I was most comfortable in his arms. Once I got old enough to care, it was easy to see.

Once I got old enough, it was also easy to see the fact that this was me. I recognized myself in the baby on the screen. My hair getting longer, no longer the wisps of dark hair it was before. I was chubby, but not overly so. Very energetic when I wasn't sleeping.

I gathered that I loved to laugh, and my dad loved making me laugh. The play times with my dad, him laying on the floor with me, and getting his face beat on by a baby me. I was hitting him hard.

"Sorry." I said, looking over at him.

He laughed, "Tough love."

The same scene, after beating on his face with my little open hands, I'd turned to a basket of toys. Even I could see my determination.

My mom's voice behind the camera laughed, "She's getting a weapon."

I couldn't help it. I laughed at that too, but I wasn't alone. Despite that, I tried to hide it. It was funny, though.

I felt strangely insecure watching these videos. I had no idea why, but at least Esme holding my hand helped. Though I could recognize myself in the baby on the screen, I felt like I was watching another person. That couldn't be me. That baby was way too happy to be me. I studied each scene individually. I was confused, and it just didn't make any sense to me.

I'd just gotten the hang of standing, signified by pictures and videos of me standing up in my crib or beside the couch, when one incident where I apparently got 'stuck' standing and giving a very irritated cry had everybody laughing. My mom was the one filming that one, asking me if I was stuck.

"How did I get stuck standing?" I asked.

"You didn't know how to sit back down yet." My dad chuckled, "It happens. You were still strengthening those muscles then."

"Oh." I muttered, looking to the screen again.

The video continued. My first birthday, and apparently, my first taste of cake. I wasn't disappointed. Walking practice to my dad.

I couldn't get over how small I was.

That walking practice progressed into typical toddler steps, waddling around like I was lost.

Me getting irritated because it was harder to stand up on the bed than it was on the floor, and I kept falling over. I'd just stand right back up again, though, and fall right back down. My diaper padded my fall, though. Along with the pillows I landed on. Babbling, or laughing and giggling when I'd fall.

The funniest one for me so far was while my mom sat there filming me. Asking me to say, 'Mama', but I could, or would only say, 'Dada'.

It moved on from there to talking, mostly babbling, but I could understand myself a little more. I couldn't remember ever seeing a happier baby while my dad was on the floor playing with me. Letting me run around, climbing on him. Cuddling a wildly squirming and giggling me.

On the video, my mom's comment actually got me to laugh again.

"I.." She paused, "Am the sole owner of a madhouse."

I found myself wishing I could remember this. If I could remember myself this way, it would make my life so much easier. But then I thought about it. If I could remember myself this way, how much I'd changed would probably just depress me.

One particular video had me paying closer attention. It was my dad filming me at the park, but I got a few decent glimpses of someone I recognized.

"That's Zack." I was so surprised, looking over. He chuckled.

"Sure is." He replied, "Josh is around there somewhere. He's probably off finding bugs to eat or something." I wasn't sure why this surprised me so much. I'd been told I'd known them when we were babies, but actually seeing it was different.

I continued watching. Zack running after me, a sippy cup clutched in his arm. I wasn't even two yet, and I'd known Zack. So it really hadn't been made up.

During the same scene, a younger looking Heather scooped both Zack and I up into her arms. Zack in her left arm, me in her right, and I slapped her. Not in an angry way, but more of an unsure way. I hadn't been expecting it, startled into just plopping my hand against her cheek. It didn't seem like I hit her hard, but the sound was loud.

I winced a little where I sat watching, but she wasn't mad at me for that, laughing along with my dad. It obviously hadn't hurt her as she kissed my hand in return.

"Heather was like a second mother to you." My dad decided to explain, "We met up at the park so often, it was bound to happen." That really made me see what she was talking about when she kept telling me how much I'd meant to her, "And you got along so well with her boys, it was safe to consider them almost brothers."

I watched as Zack squirmed free, running off as soon as his feet hit the dirt, but I stayed there. More than content where I was. I looked to the camera, grinning.

"You loved being held." My dad explained again, "You were always looking for arms to pick you up, or a free lap to hold you." I looked down. That certainly wasn't the case anymore. That made me sad, "You lived for affection. Probably because you got it all the time."

I looked back up at the video on the screen in time to witness a much tinier Josh stealing Zack's cup, and taking a drink.

"What's mom doing?" I asked, looking over at him, "Wasn't she there too?"

"She was back at home." He replied, "She was never really one for the park. She'd go, but not until much later. Gina didn't even meet Heather until sometime after you turned two, and they got to talking. I'd been taking you to this park regularly since you were about a year old. I just never thought to film it until now." He gestured to the screen.

The me in the video obviously wanted down, so I watched as Heather set me on my feet. I walked right up to Josh and stole the cup from him. Without remorse, like I owned it.

Josh, probably roughly three years old, didn't approve of that, but he didn't cry. Just pouted toward his mom, on the very verge of tears.

"Bam." Emmett commented with a laugh, "That's mine."

"Now I feel bad." I said.

"Oh, he'd stolen enough things from you." My dad assured me, "I wouldn't feel too bad."

I was a little disappointed as the scene changed. I wanted to see what happened.

It only switched to another park scene, with me in a baby swing, just thrilled at swinging back and forth. I kept looking to my right, and I soon figured out why. Josh's little voice from off the screen in the direction I was looking was requesting to go higher. He must have been on the swing next to me.

"I definitely have to show him this." I laughed a little, unable to help it.

"I have no doubt that Heather would want to see this too." My dad replied, "I don't think she got much video of her boys back then, so this would be a treat."

The video continued.

The battle of learning how to use a plastic fork began. It opened with my dad pointing to a bit of food he wanted me to stab. I smacked it with my hand instead, but he kept trying. So I picked it up with my hand, and looked up at him. I could just tell by the look on my face what would become of that little piece of food.

"Uh-oh." I knew what was coming, and apparently, everyone else did too.

On the video, we watched as I tossed the bit of food in my hand over the side of my highchair, then leaned over to look at it. It hit the floor with a very amusing 'plop' sound, which had me laughing.

The next fork attempt was filmed by my mom, and I'd obviously gotten feeding myself down. I could feed myself if I was handed the fork the right way.

It was getting the food on the fork, and the fork into the right position that was the problem. It was stabbing something myself, then getting my hand and mouth to cooperate with each other that I just couldn't get down. Obviously after much practice, a different scene came on.

This particular scene had both Esme and Alice both nearly melting in their seat and Emmett laughing by how "cute" it apparently was.

I was trying to stab whatever soft food was in the bowl in front of me, muttering, "Uh-oh." The whole time. I looked up at my mom off camera, and asked, "Like that? Yeah?"

"You got it." My mom had told me, "Keep trying." When I managed to stab it, holding it up, she spoke again, "Good job. Now eat."

I tried. Unfortunately, the cooked carrot I'd stabbed fell off the fork mid attempt, and landed in my lap. Causing a very like-me pout to form and I huffed.

"She still makes that face." Emmett pointed out, and I glared at him.

"Try again." My mom was telling me on the video, so I stuck my free hand in the bowl. Frustrated with the fork. I picked up a carrot and squeezed it, causing her to have to clean my hand with a paper towel.

Thankfully, the scene changed. I was feeling sick by how cute they thought that was.

The scenes became more interesting. I'd obviously started talking by then, and could answer certain questions. My mom would 'interview' me, just asking me questions and getting me to answer them. What color is this, what is that, what do I think about this or that. Easy questions for me to answer. Probably to document how smart I apparently was for my dad while he worked.

I liked tomatoes and bananas, but I didn't peppers and onions that much.

I obviously wasn't too smart, though, because the next scene was me attempting to crawl after a wayward toy that had rolled under a small chair, and getting stuck there, because I couldn't move forward anymore, or figure out how to back up without my back getting trapped by the chair.

I face-palmed, shaking my head, but everyone else laughed as little me began to squall on the video. My dad thankfully rescued me by lifting up the chair, but I continued to cry, even after I was free. My crying only stopped when I made my way over to where my dad had sat back down. He picked me up, sitting me on his lap and holding me.

I did notice how I wasn't the slightest bit uncomfortable on his lap.

"Was I really that stupid?" I asked.

"You weren't even two yet." My dad reasoned, "That had to be terrifying. That thing tried to eat you."

"Scarier than getting stuck standing." I muttered, continuing to watch as he smirked.

Petting zoos, more 'interviews', more food throwing, but I could see I was getting smarter. More bathtub games, more laughter than I knew what to do with.

My second birthday was just about as interesting as my first. Even more so, because it was spent at the Aquarium in Seattle. Majority of the time, sitting on my dad's shoulders while he playfully argued with a seal. After the Aquarium, it was off to a restaurant. I got less cake on my face than I had on my first birthday, though, which was promising, but more ice cream.

By now, it was easy to see how much personality I had. I wasn't just a baby anymore, but a little person. Grinning at my dad, poking his nose with a finger full of ice cream. It wasn't just me I got to know, though. I saw more of my parents than I had for the entire rest of my life until now. I got to know them, and what kind of people they had been. Everything had been great back then. At least, from what I saw on the video.

Again, I wondered. How could everything go so wrong? It had been just over an hour of video, documenting pretty much every little amazing moment worth catching in the first two years of my life so far.

We'd seen everything. From the day I was born, to now, and I never saw one problem. However, I reasoned with myself, there could have been so much more going on than film could catch.

I found I wasn't tired of watching yet, and given the smiles around me, nobody else was either. Esme, least of all. She seemed the most fascinated of everyone.

As I got closer to two and a half years, I grew so much in those months.

My first "real" bed instead of a crib, displayed by video showing me hopping and flopping around on it excitedly. More rough-housing with my dad. Getting tickled, flopping around on him while he laid on the floor. Lifting me with his arms, and tossing me gently in the air before laying me across his stomach and tickling my stomach. 'Horse rides' with him making me lose my grip but catching me with one arm before I could hit the floor.

Bedtime stories, mostly interpreted by myself, and more cuddling with him. I'd show off how I could get out of my clothes. Then, while running around in my diaper, I'd ask my mom to help me put my clothes right back on, tossing my clothes at her with a pointed, "Here go." Which, of course, she'd help me with. I gathered that I liked to do that a lot back then.

There was so much to those first two years, it was amazing to see just how good my life had been.

However, I did start to notice a slight change in myself. Maybe because I just knew myself. Or because I knew what to look for, but I wasn't sure if anyone else could see a difference.

I soon realized why.

The next video that faded in, and I watched, smiling a little at a much smaller version of me. I looked less like a baby now. More like a small child. I could see myself more easily in the toddler on the screen.

The green of my eyes, and my hair that had grown out quite a bit, held out of my face by a little clip. I still had the same dark auburn hair color I had back then. It surprised me, like I'd expected that to change for some reason. It was a lot shorter than I ever remembered my hair being, which was interesting to see on me.

In this scene, I was sitting at the kitchen table. Paper in front of me, and a bucket of crayons to my right. The camera sat still, so he must have set it down to tape me, as he sat off the screen. Given where I looked when he'd speak, that was true.

He asked me things while I colored, which I'd answer. In the normal small child kind of confusing way. I didn't remember this. I was surprised at how well I actually spoke. Most two year olds couldn't pronounce certain things right, but I didn't seem to have any problems speaking. Compared to previous scenes, I had to have been closer to two and a half than two, though.

"Leandra?" I heard my dad's voice on the video, "What are you coloring?"

"You, daddy." Little me answered in an incredulous way. As if it should have been obvious, "It's not that hard."

"It's not?" He asked in return, and I shook my head.

"No." I'd said calmly, "I can do it." I had to kneel up in the chair to peer into the bucket of crayons on the table next to me for another color.

"What are we doing?" He asked little me.

"We went to the park." I had replied simply, "But it's not raining this time." I tapped the paper with my little finger.

"Does it rain a lot?"

"A lot." I answered with a little laugh, emphasizing the 'T', "But that's okay. I don't care." It was very hard to believe this was only eight years ago. The voice I heard on the video was a very much younger and smaller version of mine. It really hadn't changed that much, but I'd obviously gotten better at speaking.

"Can I see your drawing?" He'd asked, and I'd pouted a little, shaking my head as I'd covered the page with my little hands, looking up at him with big eyes.

"No." I'd told him firmly, "It's not done yet. Wait a minute, okay?" He laughed.

"Okay." He told me, and it got quiet while I concentrated.

"Daddy?" Little me inquired while I scribbled.

"Yes, baby?" He asked, and I knew he had chosen that little nickname for me long ago.

"I miss you." I mumbled, and abruptly, I got sad as I sat there on the armrest of the couch. I could hear in my voice how much that was true. I realized then. This must have been after they separated. That made this a lot more depressing, because I knew what happened after that. The divorce, and I never saw him again.

I fidgeted a little where I sat on the armrest, not looking forward to the rest of this scene very much. My dad glanced to me, and I glanced to him, both of us knowing it. He offered a small, sad smile, but I couldn't return it. I knew by his attempt at a smile that I was right. This was probably one of the last videos he had of me.

I looked back to the TV, to continue to watch the video.

"I know." He told little me, "I miss you too. If I could be around all the time, I would."

"I don't like him."

"Who?"

"Jack." His name coming from my little voice bothered me. A lot. I stood up, hesitating beside the couch. Just in case it got to be too much for me. Why didn't I remember this? What else didn't I remember? Esme squeezed my hand, which made it easier to breathe.

"Why not, baby?" He'd asked me, "Why don't you like Jack?" I watched my own face carefully. It changed very slightly. My small smile faded, and I didn't say anything at first as I bit my lip. It could have been in concentration over my drawing, but I knew better.

"'Cause." I'd mumbled in answer when he asked again.

My dad's voice grew suspicious on the video, "Is he mean to you?"

"No." I'd answered, and maybe at the time it'd been mostly true, "But.. But.. I want you, daddy. Why can't I go with you, daddy? Why can't I?" My little voice had been so pleading, so confused. I couldn't imagine how much that had hurt him if it hurt me hearing it now.

"That'd make mommy very sad." He told me, "I don't like making mommy sad."

"Oh." I'd mumbled, distracted again by coloring, "But aren't you sad, daddy?"

"It's complicated, baby." He sighed, "But yes. I'm very sad."

"I don't care if she's sad." I'd admitted, and little me smiled, "I don't want you to be sad. Don't be sad, daddy."

I hadn't even realized how hard I cried now until I had to sniffle. It bothered me a lot to know that even back then, I knew my dad would have been the better choice. Much better, knowing how much he cared about me. How much I missed him, and how much their divorce had cost me. To know that I was the one losing, to know that I was still dealing with the consequences of that today was why I cried now.

On the video, the conversation wound down.

"Baby?" My dad asked me.

"Yeah, daddy?" I'd replied.

"I love you."

"I love you." I returned, continuing on with my coloring. Not even realizing the importance of those words. How I should have held onto them.

The final scene was the hardest. I continued to stand there, hesitantly watching. We were outside a building. I didn't recognize the building at first, but with looking closer, I realized it was the police station in town.

My dad was holding me close in his arms, talking to me quietly while I quietly listened to him. Even I could see how sad I looked, my head hung while he spoke.

My mom was obviously filming us, but beside where my mom stood filming, I heard his voice. Jack's voice, asking her if she was ready to go home yet. I suddenly had to fight the urge to throw up, listening to his voice so clearly close to the camera.

Sitting back down nervously, right back down beside Esme, I couldn't look away. Moments later, Jack could be seen walking away from my mom. His eyes on me and my dad as he moved slowly to the other side of us.

I watched my dad glance to Jack, before vaguely hearing my dad tell me to give him a hug. Immediately, little me did as he asked, and hugged his neck tight. He returned it while Jack stood there, watching. Oddly, he was patient.

"He even still looks the same." I mumbled bitterly.

Once the hug between my dad and I was out of the way, though, Jack stepped closer and lifted me. Pulling me away from my dad, and as I started to cry on the video, I cried again now. My dad had to take a moment, hesitating on the video until he sighed.

Seeing me sitting in Jack's arm like that bothered me even more than hearing his name. On the video, little-me abruptly stopped crying, looking to Jack briefly before looking to my mom. The look in my eyes was one I recognized even more.

Jack allowed my dad to kiss my cheek, and my dad told me to be good, and that he loved me. With that, he turned, and he walked away.

That must have been the last time my dad saw me, and that realization only increased my tears now, because I remembered later on. I remembered being so confused, wondering why I never saw him. I remembered my entire life, wishing I could remember him, and wishing he'd come back for me.

It hurt.

Why did this hurt me so much? Because I knew first hand what it meant to lose him. Thankfully, nobody made fun of me for crying like this. It was like reopening old wounds I'd forgotten about. Knowing how I was now, and seeing how happy I used to be, it was like a very jarring slap in the face.

"Say bye to your daddy, Leandra." Jack's condescending voice on the video caused a tremble to roll through me now, and I hated it. My teeth clenched in hate as I watched through falling tears. I watched as Jack looked to the camera along with me. It was very clear I didn't like where I was, but maybe it was just me that noticed.

How small I was compared to Jack, how easily he held me and how little room I took up in his arm bugged me. His hand took my little hand, holding it in his fingers as my mom moved closer. The pout on my little face should have told her everything she needed to know. The look in my teary green eyes should have told her.

"He'll never take you again." Jack told me, "Never. I'll make sure of that."

And he did make sure of that.

"Never." My mom agreed. Releasing my hand, Jack reached forward and took the camera from her, while handing me to her. She took me from him, holding me now while Jack filmed her.

She cuddled me close, kissing my cheek and smoothing my hair from my face. Little me hugged her then, wrapping my arms around her neck. I was fearful, and I was confused. Even I could see that.

The video ended, and I closed my eyes, shaking my head as my dad stopped it.

"Gina was kind enough to send me that video a week later." My dad told me during the silence in the room, "And that was the last time I heard from her. I don't know if she has any others of you. She certainly never sent me any. I never even got an update letter about you. I can't tell you how many times I've watched that clip."

I couldn't reply. I could only cry now.

"Leandra," My dad spoke again after a few seconds, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No." I cried, "It wasn't you. It was him. I know what happened after that. It's not _fair_."

"I didn't know." He told me, "I know I didn't like him, but then again, that could have been because he was with my wife, and if that was the case, I had no right whatsoever to be jealous. I had no choice but to trust your mom's judgement. How wrong I was for doing that. We were divorced the following week, and she couldn't have even been bothered to show up. Just like that, it was all over, and I'd lost." Once more, I couldn't speak. I looked over at him.

"I know." He said, without me even having to say anything, "I'm not.. I didn't show you that to try to change your mind. All I ask.. Is just please, _please_ never doubt just how much I love you, Leandra. I love you more than you can ever possibly know."

And by seeing the unshed tears in his eyes, threatening every second to fall, I knew he was telling me the truth. As if my tears made him want to cry.

I closed my eyes around more tears, gasping a few sobs.

"I know." He told me quietly.

I knew this was hurting him just as much. I could hear it in his voice, and I could just feel it. I opened my eyes, and looked over, meeting Carlisle's eyes this time. Even through my tears, he had to see how much this meant to me. Given his gentle nod, he understood.

It wasn't ideal, but this was the way it was supposed to be. Some things might have changed this time around, but this wasn't going to change. I knew it, and my dad knew it.

It took me quite awhile to calm down, but when I did, I felt better. Like crying about it had helped me. Minimally, but it helped. I appreciated my dad bringing these videos here today. I was actually glad he did.

"Thank you." I told him when I could, "For showing me these."

He smiled sadly, "I just wanted you to have them." He reached down, into the bag beside him and lifted out the rest of the DVDs, "The rest of these discs have everything on them. The video I put together, the one you just watched, the scenes and clips were shortened. Just to save time and to save space, I only put in a handful of videos I have, but all of these have everything."

I nodded a little. Emmett reached forward and took them from him. Probably to set them to the side for me.

"I wish I could remember just a little bit of that." I admitted, "But I don't."

"Well, that's what these are for." He replied, handing Emmett the photo albums, "To make sure you never forget." I smiled a little, looking down.

I looked back up, though, as my dad's phone rang. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled it out.

He laughed a little, "It's Rachel. Mind?"

"No." I replied honestly, "Go ahead."

"She probably wants more strawberries." He sighed, answering it, "Yes, honey?" I laughed a little at his tone. He waited, listening. His slight smile faded though. Concern replacing it, "You're sure? It could be those fake things again." I heard her voice from where I sat, so she must be yelling at him. I winced as he winced a little.

"Okay." He told her, his tone much calmer than hers had been clearly, "Where is Lily? Is she-" He cut off as she obviously answered him. He sighed, "Okay. Just calm down. Yeah, I'll be right there." He stood up as he was saying that. Hanging up a few seconds later, he looked to me, "I guess I'm going to have to cut this visit short."

"Is everything okay?" I asked, worried. I didn't exactly approve of Rachel calling him just to yell at him like that. Esme's smile should have given it away, though.

He chuckled, "Guess we're having a baby today."

I blinked in surprise, until I remembered how to nod. Oh.

"Go ahead." I told him again, "Thanks for coming, and.. Thanks for the videos."

He kissed the top of my head as he passed, giving his goodbyes to everyone as Carlisle walked him to the door.

"Chris." Esme called as she stood up. I didn't pay much attention to them as they left, but I looked over at Emmett's chuckle.

"Ironic, isn't it?" He asked, and I frowned a little.

"What?"

"The day he comes by to show you what you, his first baby, was like as a baby, his next baby decides to be born." Thinking about it, he was right. That was kind of funny. I laughed a little as he chuckled again, "Sibling rivalry, much?"

"I guess." I shrugged a little. Alice smiled a little and stood up as well.

"Go get dressed, Leandra." Alice told me, and I looked over, "Esme's volunteering you to keep Lily company at the hospital."

"Aw." I whined, "I don't want to do that. She bugs me."

"Just lay off the whole scaring her thing." She went on as if I hadn't spoken, "It'll go a whole lot smoother that way."

I groaned and laid back, "I don't want to."

I should have known better than to attempt getting out of it, though. Alice was far more stubborn than I was.

There I sat half an hour later in the very uncomfortable plastic seat in the hospital waiting room. Lily was bouncing around the space around me, just excited beyond belief. Alice was with me, thankfully.

Probably because they didn't trust me, a ten-year-old, to watch a six-year-old on my own, and Esme and Carlisle were busy. As much as I appreciated Alice's company, I was still annoyed. There were a whole bunch of toys in the corner of the waiting room, but Lily refused to give them a second look.

"Can I _please_ hog-tie her and throw her into traffic?"

"Knock it off." Alice sighed, "The doctor is saying at least a few hours, so sit tight."

"I don't see why it's going to take so long. Can't Rachel just squeeze it out and be done with it?" To my surprise, Alice laughed. I wasn't trying to be funny, but she found it amusing.

"It doesn't exactly work like that." She replied, "These things take time."

"What's so hard about it?" I asked. She laughed again, shaking her head. I had a feeling she wasn't about to go over it with me, so I thought of a new question.

"Can't we just take Lily back to our house?" I frowned, watching Lily run by. Her fourth lap around the row of chairs we were sitting in.

"Rachel requested that she be here." Alice replied, "And I certainly can't blame her for wanting Lily close at a time like this. Lily will tire herself out soon."

I sighed, waiting for Lily to run by again before leaning forward and grabbing a magazine to look at. Alice seemed perfectly fine with just sitting there, watching whatever show was on the muted TV across the room.

To the right, I watched as an unfamiliar guy came in. Not even looking at me as he sat down and rubbed his face in a stressed manner. He was obviously having a bad day. I looked back down at the magazine in my hands before he could notice me watching him. I didn't exactly want to be caught staring.

After three more passes from Lily, however, I was getting even more fed up. So when I saw my opportunity, I took it. Sticking my foot out just as Lily went to run by again. Naturally, her foot hit my foot, and she hit the floor.

I couldn't help laughing at the sound she made when she hit the floor. It was too funny not to.

"Leandra." Alice scolded, obviously very unhappy with what I'd done.

"Whoops." I said to Lily as she started to cry, "See what you get when you run around?" Lily was far from pleased herself, pushing herself up. Alice stood, kneeling beside her to help her up.

"Why would you do that?" Alice asked, looking to me.

"It was her own stupid fault." I replied defensively, "She shouldn't be running like that. I didn't even know she was right there." Lie.

She sighed heavily, "Just.. Stay here, okay? Don't move from this spot."

Landing on the rough carpet the way she had, Lily's palms and knees had been scraped open, and I assumed Alice was taking her to the bathroom to rinse off the scrapes.

Well, I thought, if there's one place best to get injured, it's a hospital. There was like a million nurses on this floor alone. It might not be as big as other hospitals, but it was enough to find band-aids in every direction.

"Fine." I grumbled. I didn't care, as long as Alice didn't make me be the one to help the little runt. I watched her turn around, leaving the room with Lily beside her.

"That your sister?" I looked over at someone's conversational question. Across the room, in the group of seats against the wall, I spotted the guy that had come in just a few minutes before. His longer brown hair was swept back, and his light brown eyes held a friendly expression in them. He smiled a little.

Looking closer, he looked like he was not only having a bad day, but a bad week or month. I'd come to recognize the look of stress thoroughly by now.

"Both of them are." I answered quietly.

"I see." He chuckled a little, "I saw that, you know. That was on purpose."

"So?" I muttered, "She deserved it."

"Your secret's safe with me." He assured me, "But you know, I bet you would get along great with my daughter. She can't stand her little sister sometimes." I smiled a little at the way he said that. This guy didn't seem so bad. He was a dad, and he had two daughters. He was keeping his distance, so I wasn't that wary yet.

He smiled again, "How old are you?"

"Ten." I replied, and he nodded.

"Are your parents here?"

"My, uh.." I paused, looking for the right words, "My dad's wife is having a baby. I have to be here to keep Lily, the one I tripped, company so she doesn't bug them."

"Lily, huh?" He asked and I nodded, "Such a pretty name. What's yours?"

"Leandra." I answered, "And you?"

"Me?" He asked, "Oh. Yeah, of course. You can call me Robert." He leaned forward and reached his hand out for mine. Hesitantly, I took it, "Nice to meet you."

"You too." I replied as he pulled his hand back, "Is your wife here?"

"Oldest daughter." He corrected lightly, "She wants nothing to do with me at the moment." He gave a short laugh, "Just her mom."

"How old is she?"

"Eighteen." He replied, "I just thought I'd come in here for a short breather. It's a lot better sitting in here than standing around and pacing."

"How old is your other daughter?" He'd mentioned another daughter.

"Kasey is nine, and Julie is six and a half." He nodded, "Both of them are with their grandparents, but they should be on their way soon."

I nodded a little this time. The way he was giving these answers made me believe him. He wasn't hesitant at all to answer my questions, and he certainly didn't make me consider him to be a liar. I was usually very good at being able to tell. Something in a liar's tone would give them away or the way they'd pause for just a little too long, but him, he didn't have that something in his tone.

"Lily is six." I muttered, "I bet they know each other from school."

"Probably." He smiled, "I wouldn't doubt it." I fell quiet for a moment, looking down at my shoes. He spoke up again, "Say, do you know your way around here?"

"Sort of." I admitted, shrugging.

"Do you know where the closest vending machine is?" He asked, "Or the cafeteria? I've been here since eight this morning, and haven't had a thing to eat all day." I knew that feeling. I was pretty hungry myself.

"Um.." I turned a little, looking around, "I don't know where the cafeteria is, but I think there's some vending machines up the hall a little ways." It was hard to describe where they were, but I knew we'd passed a group of them somewhere. If his daughter was here, I could easily see how worry would make him overlook something like that.

"Mind showing me the way?" He asked. I hesitated. He could probably find his way on his own, but I reasoned. He was just hungry, and probably didn't want to wander around lost, or bother a nurse to ask. I was bored out of my mind anyway. Why not?

"Sure." I finally sighed, standing up. He stood up with me, and moved to follow me. He was a pretty big guy, as I had to actually look up at him to see his face. I led the way from the waiting area, and turned left up the hall. Back the way I'd first come with Alice.

He followed me, walking along beside me for a moment or two. Our steps echoing on the shiny linoleum floor.

"I appreciate this." He eventually told me with a laugh, "I know your sister told you to stay there."

"No problem." I said, "She'll get over it. I just have to remember exactly where they are." We came to another hall. This hall crossed the one we were in, and went in another direction.

"Ah." He spoke up, "There they are." To the right, up the other hall a little ways, I could just see one of the vending machines. I was glad he was looking around. I would have missed them.

"Thank you." He smiled again.

"You're welcome." I replied, nodding a little and watching as he left my side. I watched after him for a moment, before I figured he could find his way back on his own. I turned, heading back toward the waiting area, just as Alice rounded the corner ahead of me. Lily beside her.

She sighed and stopped, obviously relieved but giving me an incredulous look. I made it to her side, and she instantly hugged me.

"You can't wander off like that." She told me, "I told you to stay there."

"I was just showing someone where the vending machines are." I explained. She didn't need to flip out.

"Wandering off with some stranger?" She asked, "Really?"

"Nobody is going to try to steal me inside a hospital." I shook my head, "That'd be stupid. Besides. This is the baby floor. Don't they watch this one really close?"

"Come on." She grumbled, turning me around and leading me up the hall, "Leandra, you have to be careful."

"Yeah." Lily muttered, smoothing the large band-aid over the heel of her palm, "You have to be careful, Leandra." I ignored her.

"I'm tired of being careful." I admitted, "I'm tired of being afraid of everyone, and he didn't even try to steal me. I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?" She asked, laughing humorlessly.

"Yeah." I replied, "I do."

She sighed, obviously letting it drop as she led me back into the waiting area.

"Just be careful." She told me, "You don't know who you can trust. Especially lately, okay?"

"Okay, okay." I mumbled, sitting down, "I just wanted to help him out. He seemed really nice."

"You tripped me." Lily accused me, and I finally looked over at her.

"You tripped yourself." I told her, "I didn't do anything." She huffed, crossing her arms and looking away. Sighing herself, Alice took the open seat to my right. Placing herself between the waiting area door and us.

"Leandra?" Lily seemed to have forgiven me already, "Where do babies come from?"

Alice looked over, but she had no reason to worry. I wasn't about to get into that with her. I didn't even want to think about it myself. I knew just enough about the whole thing to know that a six year old shouldn't know what I know.

"The store, stupid." I muttered, picking up the magazine I'd discarded earlier, "They come here to make a deal with the doctor over how much the baby should cost. They call it, 'having a baby' but what they mean is, 'having _to pay for_ a baby'. It's just easier to say it that way. Haven't you ever heard them say that a baby costs a lot?"

"Oh." She said, nodding a little. Then she thought about it, "But then what is in mommy's belly? Why did she get all big?"

"That's just gas."

"Oh." She said again. Shaking her head, Alice focused on her own magazine.

Time passed slowly for me, still bored out of my mind. Sitting there, pretending to read the stupid magazine open in my lap, I couldn't help letting my mind wander. I thought back to the video I'd seen, and that took the focus of my thoughts.

Exactly how different would I be now if my dad had been the one to raise me? Would I have been like Lily when I was six years old? Would I be so mean now?

I knew for a fact that I wouldn't know Alice, or any of my family. I would have been just like any normal kid my age. I could probably have walked right by them, and they wouldn't have even known the difference or looked twice. Even if I did have my gift, or ability.

I gave up pretending to read, slouched in the plastic seat. Staring across the room at the brick wall.

Would this other me, the one that had been raised by my dad, even known I had any sort of gift or ability? Would I have even known it was there if I hadn't had to use it all the time? Would I even have had the 'sixth sense', as I considered it for so long, to know how to stay away from trouble?

All these questions were really interesting to think about. How would now have changed for me then? Probably way more than it already had. I suddenly felt curious. Where was I now back in the vision? What was I doing then?

A slight bit of pain discouraged me from attempting to fetch that memory. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't remember much of anything. All that I knew, was the way everything now, learning what I'd learned so far about the situation with my family, felt familiar. Like it had happened last time too.

In the oddest way, it felt a little like retracing steps. I could only go as far as the now in the vision went. Other than that, I couldn't tell for sure where it went. I just felt things.

I sat there for probably an entire silent hour. I knew Alice and Lily were talking, and she was trying to keep Lily busy, but I wasn't paying any attention. Just stuck in my thoughts, instead of focusing any attention on where I was.

"Why's it taking so long?" Lily whined. I was surprised she waited so long to ask that. I finally felt like being shaken from my thoughts.

"They have to wait for it to be delivered." I muttered, looking down at the magazine again. This thing was getting boring. I needed a new one. Alice actually laughed to herself at that one. I added, "And the delivery people are on their break."

"Well, they need to hurry up." Lily muttered, "I wanna see the new baby."

"Trust me, you're going to hate it." I said.

Briefly, I decided to give a look around. Where had Robert gone? He never came back from the vending machine area. Maybe his daughter finally wanted to see him, and he didn't have to come back here. Oddly, I wasn't the slightest bit suspicious. I automatically thought that something else had come up.

"Why?" Lily asked, looking up at me with a frown.

I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the smell of the hospital, or how bored I was. Maybe I'd reached the level of nauseous annoyance, but my stomach ached in a very unpleasant way. Turning, and I literally had to question if I was going to throw up or not.

"Why, Leandra?" Lily asked again when I didn't answer. I sighed heavily, looking over at her.

"If it's anything like you," I replied, "It's going to bug you. You can't play with babies like you can with other kids. You have to wait until it grows up a little before you do that."

How the hell I even knew this, I wasn't sure. I'd never been around a baby in my life. I wanted to add in how our dad and Rachel was just replacing her with the new baby, but I thought twice about that. The last thing I wanted to do was add to my annoyance again, and her crying annoyed the living hell out of me.

I looked over in the other direction, Lily jumping up as my dad stepped through the open doors to the waiting area with a sigh.

"Is it here, daddy?" Lily demanded instantly the second she hugged him, "Where is it?"

"Not yet, Lil." He replied, "But soon. I promise. I came to check on you, though. How are you doing?"

"I'm _bored_." She said flatly, "And I wanna see mommy." She obviously didn't get that her mommy was extremely busy. What part of 'busy' did she not get? I wanted to smack her.

"You can't right now." My dad sighed, lifting her, "But she told me to tell you that she loves you bunches, and that she can't wait to see you."

"Oh, gag." I grumbled under my breath, looking to the muted TV. Alice elbowed me lightly, and I glanced to her.

Honestly, I didn't know why I was so bitter about being here. I was happy for them, and was quite interested to see the baby myself, but that didn't make me feel any better.

"I just want to go home." I whispered to Alice, "I'm bored and I don't feel good. I didn't even want to come here." Which was actually true. I wasn't making it up. My stomach had felt iffy all day. Since I first woke up, and being here was just making it worse.

"Just hang on." She whispered back, "A little longer."

"I _really_ don't feel good." I stressed.

"It'll pass."

I groaned, laying back for a moment, before I sat upright again, "Then give me some money for the vending machines."

"Good idea." She nodded a little, pulling her small purse to her, "You're probably just hungry. Go there, but come _right_ back."

"I will." I muttered.

"No pit stops, Leandra." She stressed, "If I didn't need to talk to your dad, I'd go with you, but-"

"I get it." I snapped, "Just-"

"Here." She snapped, much gentler than I had, "Not too much junk." Handing me the money I wanted, she sighed. I stood up immediately and moved for the door. My dad watched after me, but I didn't hear him ask.

I felt bad about five steps away from the waiting area. I hadn't meant to snap at her like that, but I usually got grouchy when I didn't feel well. That should have been proof enough.

And weren't vending machines full of nothing but junk? I'd see when I got there. Actually looking over my choices, though, I frowned a little. I didn't know what I wanted.

I didn't hear anyone come into the area, but suddenly, the space next to me became occupied. Too close to be considered a stranger, as a stranger wouldn't get this close to me. I was about to move away, but froze as a rough hand found my far shoulder. This hand pulled me into the stranger's side, drawing a startled whimper from me and pinning me in place harshly.

"One wrong move." I couldn't remember how to breathe, "I'd be just as happy to stab you in the neck right here, but you're needed alive."

My breath continued to stick in my throat. Only one question managed to squeeze through my petrified thoughts. How the fuck did Ken find me?

"New baby, huh?" He spoke quietly, "Wouldn't want anything to happen to her, would we?" I did everything possible to keep the sob back. He knew more than I wanted to dare give him credit for. Jack had hinted at knowing people in town, given his threats against where Carlisle worked, but I hadn't expected this.

"You and I.." He paused, "We're going outside. Just stay calm, and you get to live. Stay calm, and all this can stop. Right now, it can all stop. Don't run from me. Come on. Be brave."

Giving a glance around, he reached down and lifted me.

"Cry all the fuck you want." He murmured, pretending to kiss my forehead, "But keep it quiet, and if you fight me, just once, I'll cut your pretty fucking head off before anyone can reach your stupid ass." I was thankful for the fact that I could cry, because I honestly couldn't hold it back.

Between us, from a pocket inside his coat, he showed me just the thick handle of a folded knife. I knew exactly what that was, as I'd learned what they looked like long ago, but that just made it harder to stop crying. Crying too hard, but knowing not to make a sound. It was a very intense battle.

I couldn't call for Alice, because even she couldn't get there in time to keep him from damaging me. I wouldn't get a full word out before he'd take action. He wanted to do it. I could hear that in his tone, and it scared me. Petrified me into silence.

I hadn't been gone long enough for Alice to come check on me herself. I hadn't even been standing there thirty seconds before he'd closed in. She didn't know what scent was a bad one. She probably had no idea. It literally only took seconds for everything to go so horribly wrong.

I was stuck. Doomed. I opened my eyes enough to look around me for a possible way out of this.

To my surprise, though, I spotted Robert. He was still there, talking with the nurses at the front desk. None of those nurses seemed to think anything was off with Ken holding me. Even going so far as to give him a sympathetic smile.

Robert recognized me as much as I recognized him, though, standing up straighter as Ken approached with me. Sitting in front of Robert, was a clipboard of paperwork he was working on.

"Hey." Robert greeted me, but I couldn't say anything. Unfortunately for him, Ken had to slow, "What's the matter, kid?" I didn't say anything, glancing to Ken as he adjusted my weight in his arm. Robert frowned in concern as he looked to Ken, "Is she okay?"

"She's tired." Ken explained, "She's had a long day so far, so my son thought she needed a break." I could tell by Ken's tone, even through my fear, that he didn't know Robert.

"Ah." Robert nodded a little, looking to me again, "Must have gotten into trouble for that stunt with your sister." I didn't bother trying to answer.

"Yeah." Ken replied, "Yeah, that'd be it. I'm just taking her home. She needs to unwind a little." My heart pounded now.

"C-Can you tell my sister.." I spoke hesitantly, pausing both out of fear and for emphasis as I glanced to Ken as his intense gaze landed on me, "That I'm sorry?"

I knew if he were to tell Lily that, Alice would hear. She'd know something was wrong when I had some stranger tell Lily instead of saying it myself. Especially when I wasn't back yet to do so. All he would have to mention to her was that he saw me, and that would be enough to make her come check on me.

"I'll pass on the message." Robert agreed, and I nodded. Ken wasn't pleased. Turning with a chuckle toward the elevators.

"Soon?" I pressed, "Tell her soon? Like now? Right now?"

"Gotta get going." Ken told him before he could even reply, "Sorry. In a rush. Impatient girl."

"Take care, Leandra." Robert called, "I'll head there now." The elevator doors closed before I could thank him.

"That was stupid." Ken told me under his breath, "Very stupid. You'll be paying for that later. I promise you."

He'd probably given the nurses there some story about how he needed to come pick me up. Just to get the general direction of where I was, and my tears as he carried me back through only helped with that, as I knew I appeared to anyone like a cranky kid, needing to go home. Whether I wanted to or not, that's the way I looked.

How many kids had they seen in just that same exact scenario? It was perfect. Definitely not as hard to steal me from inside a hospital as I thought before.

The smell of Ken's dark leather coat, the feel of his arms holding me, the sound of his breathing so close to me was exactly what I needed to realize that my stomach wouldn't hold out. His quiet, growling voice terrified me. Paired with the fact that I knew he was the one holding me, and I had no choice but to cry. There was no stopping it.

I wanted to just jump and run as fast as I could, but I was afraid. Terrified. What would happen if he didn't let me go that easily? What if he caught me before I could get too far away? I'd die anyway.

I had absolutely no choice but to play the part he needed me to play to get out of there without raising suspicion, or get stabbed in the neck. Neither one sounded pleasant.

Oddly, I was reminded of the video. Being taken from my dad in such a way, when I knew the result wouldn't be anything good. I had no doubts that I knew, even back then, that I wasn't safe anymore. I definitely wasn't safe now, and the thought of what waited for me nearly made me sick right there.

He adjusted my weight as he strode from the elevator on the first floor, carrying me swiftly from the hospital. He jerked open the back door of the car he had sitting and waiting right up front, literally dropping me into the back seat.

I didn't even try sitting upright. I just laid across the seat where I'd been dropped, covering my head.

He wasn't wasting time. He moved quick, knowing he only had a few short moments before Alice would figure out that I was gone. If she hadn't yet. He was back in the driver's seat before I could even gather myself enough to sob twice more. The second his door was closed, my sobs were free to make a sound.

How quickly he got the car moving made my head spin, and fortunately for him, my stomach decided to empty itself all over the floorboard of the back seat, instead of all over him where he'd been just moments before. Unfortunately, he was still pretty pissed.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" He snapped, glancing back at me, "Guess what you're doing when we get there, Gina?"

Weakly, but still in a decent amount of panicked haste, I looked up front. Into the passenger seat. Sure enough, she sat there. I hadn't noticed her there. I had to notice, though, that Jack wasn't here.

I couldn't focus on that, however, as my stomach decided it wasn't done. I couldn't believe this. Today was supposed to be a good day, but it just got a million times worse than I ever imagined it could get. This couldn't be happening.

My cries clearly announced how much I didn't want to be here. How scared I was. Squeezing from me before I could stop them.

"Gina, shut your little bitch up." Ken growled over my cries at her, "I swear to fucking God, I'm not playing around." He was close to snapping, and I knew that, so I couldn't exactly blame my mom for doing as he told her to do. She turned in her seat, trying to reach me, but I cringed away from her like she was on fire.

I tried. I tried holding my breath to keep any more sobs from escaping, but they came out anyway.

"Here." My mom spoke, "Here, Leandra." I opened my eyes to see her handing me her jacket. I took the hint, taking it from her and burying my face in it. I couldn't be silent, but I could cry into it. Muffling the sound quite a bit as I curled up around it.

"Good." Ken approved, taking a breath as his tone calmed quite a bit, "Keep it that volume, and we'll be good."

"Ken," My mom spoke, "Just.. Take her back. Please."

"What did I fucking tell you?" He barked at her, "Not another fucking word out of you."

"Do you want to live the rest of your life wondering when they're going to find her?" She asked, "Taking her like that puts a target on us-"

"There already is a fucking target on us!" I flinched at his shout, but she never blinked, "And this little slut is the reason why!"

"Think about it." My mom stressed, "It's not her fault."

"Gina." His voice was a warning.

"All I'm saying," Her tone was quiet, "Is we could just.. We could just forget about all this. All you have to do is let her out. She'll find her way back, and we'll be good to go. We won't even have to tell Jack." I flinched again as he reached out, gripped her hair tight in his fist, and yanked her closer to him. My crying eyes wide, I watched. She winced, but never made a sound.

"You know," He growled at her, "You're starting to look pretty fucking useless to me right about now. How about I kick you out instead? Huh? Leave you right here? You'll never see either of your fucking pups again, bitch. Is that what you want?"

"No." She replied instantly, her tone a whimper, "No, Ken. Please-"

"That's what I thought." He told her, "So do what I fucking say, and shut the fuck up." He shoved her away, back into her own seat, "Actually, get your ass back there and make her shut up. Do your goddamn job. I don't want to look at you anymore."

I didn't know what else to do, curling up tighter and making room as she carefully made her way between the seats up front to settle into the back seat with me. She reached for me, but once again, I cringed away from her.

"Don't fucking touch me." I gasped between sobs.

"Okay." She replied, trying to ease me no doubt, "Leandra, I'm sorry. I tried to talk them out of this-"

I didn't want to listen to any more. I just turned my head, hiding my face in the jacket. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be home. I was supposed to be safe. My stuck frozen mind was thawing enough to think.

"Hey." I looked to the front at Ken's voice. He was on the phone, "Where the fuck are you? Wake up, and answer your fucking phone, you useless bag of shit." With that, he hung up. He must have been leaving a voice message. Lovely.

The only sound now was my muffled sobs, but slowly, I pushed myself up. Sitting up and peeking out the window. I wanted to look around. Where was he going? This town wasn't that big. If he wanted to get away, he should have went the opposite direction to get to the main street. That would have turned into the highway and gotten him out of town.

Then I thought about it. He wasn't about to make a run for it yet. Because of what I'd done, everyone and their dog would soon be looking for me. They'd expect him to make a run for it.

The road he found was essentially deserted, rarely used by how overgrown it was. It wasn't even paved. Just dirt. We were leaving the town behind us, headed further into isolation.

"Gina," I jumped at Ken suddenly speaking up, "I think she could use something to drink, don't you?" I watched as he leaned over and pulled open the glove compartment, yanking out a bottle of water.

"Now?" My mom asked, "Wh-"

"Just do it." He snapped, holding the bottle back to her. Sighing, she reached up and took it. I ignored her tears, having my own to worry about, but I didn't ignore the way she seemed to hesitate, before looking over at me. Every instinct I had in me told me not to let that water get anywhere near me.

"I'm not thirsty." I grumbled, glaring at her.

"I don't give a fuck if you're thirsty or not." Ken barked, "Drink it."

"No." Since he was the one driving, I felt confident enough that he didn't want to stop long enough to hit me, so I was free to piss him off all I wanted.

"_Oh_." That word was a growl through clenched teeth, "That fucking word." That shut me up. Pursing my lips, I curled into an upright ball.

"Take it, sweetie." My mom urged, "Please."

"I'm not fucking drinking it!" I wasn't about to ignore my instincts at a time like this.

As confident as I had been to say anything of the sort before, that all flipped into terror as Ken suddenly stopped the car. Pulling over to the side of the road. Turning off the car, removing the keys, and swiftly climbing out.

"Ken." My mom spoke, sounding particularly panicked herself, "She didn't mean it." The back seat door opened forcefully, but I was already scrambling back. Somehow, I wound up across my mom's lap, cringing away from Ken's reaching hand.

That did me no good, however. He caught a hold of my ankle, and the second I felt the pressure, I started to fight. Kicking, thrashing, sobbing twice as hard as I had been before. To my surprise, though, my mom held onto me. I held onto her in return, sobbing twice as hard as I was before.

"She didn't mean it." My mom tried again, "She's scared."

"You shut the fuck up." Ken snapped at her, pulling on my ankle, attempting to tug me away from her, "Let her go."

"No." She muttered the word he hated the most, "Ken, give her a break."

"Yeah." He replied sharply, "I'll give her a break. I'll break all her fingers, then her hands. Move on to her arms.." He trailed off, yanking harshly on my ankle. My cries grew desperate as I felt the effort my mom had to use to keep me there. She was trying, but he was hurting me.

So I kicked. I managed to slam my shoe as hard as I could against his cheek, which was enough to get my ankle released. He fell back, and I scrambled forward, slamming the door and locking it.

He stood up almost immediately, when I suddenly remembered. He had the keys. As if remembering as well, my mom's hands gripped my waist and pulled me away from the door.

"Go, baby. Run." My mom told me, pulling open her door and helping me scramble out of it. I sobbed and struggled to recover, running nearly before I was upright.

"Dammit, Gina!" I heard him shout at her, and that made me slow and look back. He'd already rounded the car, and I looked back just in time to see him punch her full force. His fist landing against her face with a dull, nearly hollow sound. I hesitated as she fell to the side, torn now between continuing to run or going back to check on her. Until he rounded to look at me.

I remembered to run when he started for me.

Ken was faster this time, however, thanks to my aching ankle. I felt his arm encircle my stomach, and I was jerked to a very painful stop. Hauled off my feet, despite my loud cry and struggles. I couldn't reach him to bite him, though I tried.

He dragged me right back to the car, until he shoved me back, and I landed roughly up against the side of the trunk, losing my breath in the process.

He gripped my shirt tight in his fist and standing me up straighter, he pinned me there. Pinning me between his knees, his body against mine, he effectively cut off any sort of freedom of movement I might have had, but that didn't stop me from thrashing.

Unfortunately, though, I couldn't put weight on my right ankle anymore without pain spreading up my leg. That really limited how much I could really fight.

Snapping his fingers twice, he held his free hand into the car at my mom. I couldn't see her, but by how long it took for him to acquire the bottle of water, she was either really hurt, or hesitating as long as she dared. She didn't want to do it either.

"Hand it over!" Ken finally snarled at her, "I swear, you try to pull any more stupid ass stunts, I'll snap her neck right here. It would be easier on me anyway." I froze, whimpering as his hand found my neck and slammed me harder back against the car. That seemed to do it, though, as he pulled the bottle to himself now.

He twisted the top free with his teeth, finally looking to me again. I fought again, but that did almost no good as his free hand left my neck and gripped my face instead.

"Don't you fucking bite me again." He warned dangerously. Despite that warning, I was already attempting to do just that. I fought harder as he yanked his hand away with a shout of surprise.

I tried sliding down, and I figured I would just try to crawl away. He was getting mad, however. Angrier than I ever wanted him to be. I received a slap to the left side of my face, instantly dizzy as he stepped back and let me drop to the ground. I got one good kick to my stomach before he dropped to his knees to roll me back onto my back from where I tried to curl up.

Beside the car, I laid there. I was a lot easier to pin that way, as he straddled my upper stomach, pinning me with just his weight. Pinning one arm with his knee, my other attempting to hit him, but he ignored that. Completely unphased, he leaned down, gripping my face again.

"Open your fucking mouth." He growled, "Telling me no? You don't fucking tell me no. Open up." His hand squeezing my jaw open, I couldn't fight that, but I tried. Over the sound of my own cries and the heartbeat in my ears, I could just hear my mom crying inside the car.

My punching hand came up, trying to pry his hand away, fighting and squirming as much as I could. With him holding my mouth open, though, my cries were a lot louder.

He managed to dump a bit of the water into my mouth. Releasing his grip on my face long enough to try to cover my mouth, but I just immediately spit it right back out. Right into his face. That only pissed him off even more.

Slapping me again, he tried once more. Leaning forward, smashing me fully now between him and the ground, immobilizing me further, making it even more difficult to breathe. I groaned through sobs, hating this more than anything I'd hated in a long time.

"Come on." He told me through clenched teeth, "I know you're thirsty."

He dumped a little more of the water into my mouth, right as I was taking a breath. I inhaled it, and unfortunately, I swallowed as quickly as I could in instinct and in panic before I could start coughing. Seeing his chance, he poured even more. I wasn't done choking, so I had swallow that before I could continue to do so.

"Still saying no?" Ken asked me sharply, "Huh? Is this better than just doing what I fucking tell you?" I couldn't breathe, sobbing breathlessly between coughs, "Now just fucking cooperate, and I won't have to do this again." Once more, he gave me a mouthful, and once more I had to swallow it or risk inhaling it. He hesitated, watching me laying there with his hand gripping my face. He let me breathe a few seconds. Probably to keep me from drowning.

"You gonna be good?" He asked me, and through sobs, I nodded. Carefully, he released my face, drawing his hand back quickly in case I attempted to bite him again. I wasn't stupid enough to do that, even despite my panic.

"Good." He said, his tone a lot easier than it had been, "One more." He brought the bottle up, and though I knew I shouldn't, I opened my mouth again. Hating the fact that I had to do so. With his full weight on me, I'd have done anything to be able to breathe again. He poured a little more of a tolerable mouthful in, and though I flinched, I only lost a little bit of it.

"Good job." He told me, "There. Isn't this much better?" I was still pinned, so not really. He brought his hand up again, and I flinched. Unable to help it as he smoothed my bruising face with his fingers. His expression softening.

I turned my head, but he just gripped my face again, and forced it back forward. Making me look at him.

"I hate having to hurt you." He told me, his tone quieter, "But I will if I have to. I think you see that now, don't you?" I brought my free hand up, grabbing onto his wrist and trying to pull his away from my face, but he just ignored that as well. I sobbed, quieter now as well, even as his hand smoothed over my cheek.

My instincts were now telling me I needed to get out of that situation, but no matter which way I twisted, I couldn't get away from it. I turned my head, sobbing to the side and squeezing my eyes shut. Cringing into the dirt the best I could for the few minutes we stayed there.

Unfortunately for me, about that time was when the dizziness started spinning my head, and my struggles weren't near as hard as they had been moments ago. Either I'd worn myself out too much, or whatever was in the water was quickly kicking in.

The quieter I got, and the less I fought, the more he eased the force pinning me.

"That's better." He seemed satisfied, "It's useless to fight anymore. You've done a great job so far, but that's over now. I've got you now, you little bitch. It's about time you realize that. When you wake up, you will." I whimpered, miserable and desperate as my eyes found the trees off to the right of where I laid.

Standing up, he paused. Looking down at me. I gasped for breath I could freely take again, dizzily watching him crouch down again beside me. Reaching out, he gripped my hair tight in his hand and yanked me sitting upright again.

"Where'd that fight go?" He chuckled, laughing at my quiet cry as he stared into my eyes, forcing my head back. I gave a very brief, very weak struggle, sobbing quietly when it did no good. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't fight anymore. Focusing most of my limited energy on fighting the sleep. Looking up at him.

"I highly suggest, for your own sake, that you release her." The unexpected voice a little ways away had Ken looking over sharply, "Now."

**A/N: Woohoo!  
Okay, just for the record, this chapter has driven me crazy. I wasn't entirely sure what was missing, so I've gone over it for like the last two days straight. I've been removing things and adding other things, over and over, and it's as ready as it's ever going to be. I honestly hope you approve. :)  
THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers of last chapter! THANK YOU!  
Chapter eight is interesting, in my opinion. I think many people will like that one. :)  
Until Eight, my friends! :D **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I recognized that voice. It wasn't any of my family, who I desperately wanted to hear, but this voice was both terrifying and relieving to hear. I couldn't turn, or even move to look, but just by hearing him, I knew that this was the same one that had been in the room with me in New York.

I attempted to speak, to beg for his help, but all I could do was sob a whimper. Stuck in Ken's grip, I knew I had every right to be afraid of losing my life. Ken could do anything he wanted at any second to end it.

"One chance." This stranger stressed.

"Who the fuck are you?" Ken scoffed, continuing to hold my hair in his fist, "Where the fuck did you come from?"

I forced my thoughts away from that, though. I knew it was already too late to throw up, if I was already feeling this bad.

"I suggest you mind your own fucking business." Ken snapped at the stranger, "This doesn't concern you, you fucking freak." Despite his words, though, his fist loosened in my hair, and I fell back to the ground. Unable to keep myself sitting upright.

"I'm sorry," The stranger replied, "But it does." I looked up, slowly tilting my head back as much as I could to look in the stranger's direction. His eyes were red. I'd expected the voice I'd heard to belong to a vampire, but somehow, it still surprised me. Knowing and seeing are two different things.

The stranger spoke again, "You see, that girl means a whole lot to someone I happen to care about very much. So that makes her someone I happen to care about very much."

Ken scoffed again, but lowered, no doubt intending to scoop me up. Even I had it in me to jump, though, as the stranger was suddenly there. Standing over me, and staring him down.

"That would not be wise."

Ken obviously changed his mind, standing back up. It was difficult to focus on anything but the almost painful dizziness, but I managed. Looking up at the stranger standing over where I laid, moving Ken away from me with just one look.

Despite the panic that I still wanted to feel, I could begin telling myself that I was going to be okay. That was a huge deal to me. I had absolutely no choice but to trust this strange vampire with my life. Ken never moved, but the stranger did.

The stranger slowly crouched beside me, probably so he could speak to me, distracted momentarily by Ken's attempt to punch him. Even I heard the popping in Ken's hand and wrist. I winced a little, the sound not a good one. Mildly annoyed, the stranger sighed and stood back up.

Grabbing Ken's injured wrist, he wasted no time in violently throwing him across the road to slam what looked like face first into a tree. I didn't look long enough to see him get up. If he did at all.

The stranger crouched again, and I could see him a little better. I only panicked a little as he lifted me himself. Undeniably careful, he scooped me up and turned for the car. I wasn't as scared as I knew I should be.

With the way he held me, even as limp as I was, I could feel how easy he was. He held me the way my family would hold me, but with even more care than that. That was probably why I wasn't afraid. If he'd wanted to hurt me, he could. So easily, but he was determined not to.

"I'm glad I found you." He told me gently, his tone a lot gentler than it had been while he was speaking to Ken. He spoke again, "This woman here will take you home." He glanced into the car at her, "Won't you? Straight home? Where she'll be _safe _from any others wanting to cause her potential harm?"

"O-Of course." My mom's trembling voice replied, "I will. I will." He gave her nod and a small smile, looking to me again. I wanted to laugh at how easily he intimidated my mom. It must have been so strange to those not used to it, meeting a vampire for the first time.

I couldn't speak to ask him his name, or to thank him for what he did for me. I couldn't beg him not to leave me alone with her. I couldn't ask him to go find my family instead of trusting her to take me home. I couldn't do much but stare at him tiredly.

It was a little odd to me. I'd rather this vampire stranger stay with me, over my own mother.

I fought it as hard as I could, but laying in his arms the way I was, the weakness was just too much. I watched him, but trying to look up at him made it harder to keep my eyes open. Making no conscious decision to do so, my eyes closed. I was asleep almost instantly. I had perhaps a second or two to fight it, but other than that, I was out.

With no idea how much time had passed, I started to come around, but it was hard.

When I started to come around, I was comfortable, and found no reason to panic. Wherever I was laying was soft and warm, so that told me I was okay. Moving my feet a little, I recognized my own bed sheets against my bare toes. That comforted me enough to take a deeper, waking breath.

My head ached unpleasantly, but it was tolerable compared to other headaches I'd had in the past. I moved my feet again, sighing. I jumped a little, my reaction a bit sluggish at the shifting of weight behind me on the edge of the bed. Weight I hadn't realized was there.

"It's okay." It was Esme, "You're alright, sweetheart." I eased as she smoothed my hair. Why was she sitting there? I sighed again, frowning a little. I felt too warm, like I had the other morning. Slightly sick, but not too bad. Very thirsty, but that could wait.

"I think I had the scariest dream." I mumbled, keeping my eyes closed, "It's hard to remember, but I was so scared." My voice felt strange to me. It was hard to speak, like the words were too heavy. What I didn't really realize, was my lack of reaction to said scariest dream should have told me something.

Something was definitely off. I knew that much. I could feel it. I felt wrong.

"Carlisle." She spoke, "She's coming around." I flinched a little as the lamp beside the bed was turned on, but I just closed my eyes. It only bothered me for the time it took to flinch. I listened to my bedroom door open, rolling to my back on my own. Nothing so far was making sense.

I was only waking up. Why were they worried? Had I pushed myself too hard again? The low pain level in my head led to think no. That wasn't it.

My mouth still felt dry, but as I tried to open it to say something about it, I could feel the ache. Both sides of my jaw hurt, as well as my cheeks. It confused me.

"Leandra?" I had trouble keeping my eyes open, but I managed. Looking up at Carlisle, "How are you feeling?" I had to admit, though. With the lamp on, I could see, and wake up a little more. It wasn't usually this hard to focus.

"Weird." I admitted quietly. I didn't know how else to explain it, "Mixed up. What's going on?" He sighed, glancing to Esme.

"What do you remember?" He asked me instead of answering me. I closed my eyes, frowning.

"It's really hard to think." I mumbled, shaking my head a little. I jumped a little once more as my bedroom door opened again. Carlisle sighed, looking over. It was only Alice, however. She was suddenly across the room, settling to my other side on the bed. I looked up at her, frowning in confusion.

"Alice." Carlisle muttered, obviously unhappy.

"I'm sorry." Jasper had followed, "I couldn't keep her back." He took the spot near the foot of my bed, looking at me in what looked like concern.

"You were just as eager to see her." Alice argued with him, "Don't pretend otherwise."

"Carlisle's request was easily understandable." Jasper pointed out.

"Understandable or not," Alice replied, "So is mine." She looked to me, "You scared the hell out of me."

"Alice." Esme spoke this time, "Now isn't-"

"Why?" I frowned, "What?"

"She's having trouble remembering." Carlisle explained, "Which tells me exactly what was used on her."

"That animal better be glad he's dead." Alice growled, looking to Jasper again, "If it were up to me-"

"Alice." Esme sighed again, shutting her up for a moment.

In the silence that followed, it was slowly starting to come back to me.

"The hospital.." I mumbled, gaining their attention again, "He.. K-Ken.." Alice looked down, "It wasn't a dream?"

"No." Esme answered gently, "It wasn't a dream, sweetheart."

I suddenly remembered how to cry. It was upsetting to learn that the things I remembered actually happened. Though it was foggy, and the events closer to the unconsciousness I'd just woken from were a little foggier than the rest, I knew what happened.

Carlisle sighed, "Alice, Jasper. Please wait out there. I'd like to avoid overwhelming her further."

Alice whined, but gave me a light, gentle hug before she left. I struggled, fought to sit up. Beside me, Carlisle helped me. It didn't help me breathe much better to sit up like this. I could cry harder, though.

I had to cry. I couldn't help it. Maybe it was left over emotion from what happened, or new emotion from remembering, but I cried now because of it. I didn't even wait for an invitation. I was still weak, and I still felt heavy, but I carefully moved forward until I could reach and hugged Esme. She didn't seem bothered in the least, returning the hug firmly but gently.

"I'm so sorry, honey." She murmured, helping me forward to sit across her lap, "I'm so sorry you went through that." So was I.

It had been quite awhile since I'd done this, and she seemed to realize that. I still felt shaky, but sitting here like this, that didn't matter. I could be as weak as I had to be, and still be protected.

The pain I felt in my face made sense now. Remembering what happened before I lost consciousness piece by piece. The hospital. Leaving with him. The sound of his voice, the feel of his hand on my ankle at first. Being pinned the way I was, forced to drink whatever was in that water, or risk drowning. It had been a brief encounter, to be sure, but it was effective enough.

My sobs eventually tired out, but my trembling stayed. I sat there, staring at the wrap around my ankle. I struggled, trying to figure out how Carlisle knew to take a look at it. I didn't remember anything about him looking at it, or even getting home. It was still hard to think straight.

The very last thing I remembered was the stranger. I hadn't gotten a very good look at him, but I remembered knowing I was okay. That was partially what helped me start to calm down. The memory I had of being held like that before falling asleep.

"I don't remember.." I sniffled after several minutes of silence, "What happened to Ken? How'd I get here?"

"From what your mother describes," Carlisle answered, "You were saved."

"My mom?" I asked, surprised.

"She brought you here, honey." Esme murmured, glancing to Carlisle, "The moment she could, she brought you here." That was right. The stranger told her to bring me home.

"That vampire." I moved on, "I don't know his name, but he talked to me."

"Yes." Esme confirmed quietly, "And it's been confirmed. Ken didn't survive." I closed my eyes, looking down as I took a breath. I wasn't sure how to feel.

This whole time, for as long as I'd been with them, it was about hunting the ones hunting me. Now that one of the two of them was gone, how was I supposed to feel? I knew that would eventually sink in, and I'd have to face the emotions of that soon, but for right then, I didn't feel much of anything.

"As for your mother.." Carlisle spoke, and I looked up at him, "She was told to bring you here. To get you back to where you were safe, which tells me that this stranger knows you belong to us." I nodded a little agreeing with that, "That's not a complete surprise, but it's good to have it confirmed."

"I remember that." I mumbled, "He picked me up."

He gave his own nod, and went on, "She brought you here, also quite shaken up over what happened. As far as I know, she doesn't believe the stranger was anyone out of the ordinary. Just someone who happened across. That he only wanted to help, and she's not asking questions. Which is also a good thing.

"She gave us the address of the house they were hiding out in." He said, "But Jack wasn't there. It wasn't entirely him we were after, however. There was another reason to go there."

"What other reason?" I asked quietly.

"She needed help, Leandra." Carlisle explained, sounding oddly defensive before I could get upset, "It was never her choice to join them."

"So why stay with them?" I asked, bitterness in my tone, "She could have gotten away whenever she wanted if she just tried hard enough."

"Not when there was someone being held against her." He corrected, "Just the same way you were held against her, forcing her to comply."

"I don't get it." I admitted, frowning tiredly.

"She needed our help, Leandra." Esme repeated Carlisle's words, "To retrieve her son."

"Son?" I frowned, "What son? She doesn't have one."

"She does." Esme confirmed quietly, "He's six months old."

Thinking harder, it made sense. Ken kept reminding her that someone was waiting on her. That must have been what he was talking about. I didn't know what to say to that. I understood what they were saying, but once again, I didn't know how to feel.

"What's it matter anyway?" I muttered, looking back down, "She's probably right back out there with Jack."

"She's here." Esme corrected, "She's still here." That was a surprise.

"What?" I asked, looking to her, "She's here?"

"She and the baby are resting upstairs." She added.

"_Why_?" Did they have no idea how much this would upset me? Or did they just not care?

"She needed as much help to get away from him as you did." She explained, "I know what it's like to be stuck in a situation like that, Leandra, but I can't imagine what she must have gone through with her children being threatened that way."

"You're on her side?" I asked, frowning.

"There are no sides." Carlisle murmured, "We understand the situation now."

"And you just believe what she says?" I asked, "Just kick her out."

"Leandra." Esme stopped that. I was done arguing anyway. I just didn't have it in me anymore. I sighed, but hugged Esme tighter.

"Just keep her away from me." I mumbled, "Please."

"I'll do what I can." Carlisle told me, "But if you would only hear her out, Leandra, I know you'll understand where she's coming from."

"I don't want to understand." I replied, "Hearing her out won't change anything. Everything I had to do for her, and because of her. Don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember." He said, nodding, "Nobody is denying that it was a bad situation. All around." I knew he had more to say, but instead of listening to it, I looked away. He sighed, "Nobody is denying that."

Thankfully he left it at that. My mind was spinning enough with everything I'd learned today. Sitting there, I thought back to the previous subject.

"I wish I knew who he was." I mumbled, "I wish I knew why he'd help me like that." Esme tightened her hold on me, and I knew she agreed. I wasn't the only one who owed him more than I could ever repay him.

"Can I come back in yet?" Alice poked her head in the doorway. I looked to Carlisle as he nodded. Allowing it.

She was instantly in the room, hugging me where I sat with Esme. I whimpered as her hug was a little rougher than my stomach could allow. She pulled back, surprised.

"He kicked me." I muttered, leaning back and raising my shirt over my stomach. The bruising wasn't horrible, or really that dark, but obvious against my light skin.

"I'm sorry." Alice immediately said, "I didn't know."

"I forgot too until now." I said, "But it doesn't hurt too bad. Just sore. My ankle hurts more." Which was true. My stomach did feel sore, like I'd done too many sit-ups or something.

"Your ankle is sprained." Carlisle explained, "It'd be best to keep it wrapped for the time being. As well as keeping most weight off of it." I sighed.

"Great." I mumbled.

"Would you like something for the pain?" Carlisle asked, and I shook my head.

"It's not bad enough for that." I replied. Which was also true. It ached, but was tolerable. I suddenly remembered, looking over at Alice, "How is Rachel?" I never got to see how that turned out.

She smiled a little, "Just fine. Both her and the baby were fine the last time I checked on them."

"Did you stay with Lily?" I asked, and I knew she knew what I meant.

"I didn't have much choice." She replied hesitantly, and I nodded a little, "That poor kid was so patient while I dragged her around. When your scent left the hospital, I had to let someone else know to search the highway."

"That's not where he went. He went the other direction." I had no doubts that they already knew that, since they'd already been out that direction to find whatever was left of Ken.

"I didn't know that at the time." Alice sighed, and I nodded again, "I thought sure he'd just make a break for Seattle, or wherever they were hiding." She hesitated, "And you don't remember anything about who saved you?"

"He's the same one that found me in New York." I replied, "I knew his voice when I heard it. He was so nice to me." I looked over, "And you haven't found him?"

"We haven't tried to find him." She replied.

"Why not?" I asked, "He could have killed me, but he didn't."

"Remember what I told you in the hospital, about not knowing who you can trust?" She murmured.

"Yeah." I replied, still confused.

"It's the same way for us." She went on, "With everything that's going on in Seattle, nobody is comfortable just running off to meet strange vampires that wander around here."

"But-"

"He was nice to you." She nodded a little, "But that doesn't mean he's friendly, Leandra."

"There could be any number of reasons why he didn't kill you." Jasper spoke up, "Until we know for sure, we can't risk it."

"Oh." I mumbled. When he put it that way, I tried to doubt what I knew for myself. I didn't think he was dangerous, but then again, how much did I really know about their kind?

I just sighed and let it go.

I tried to ignore the fact that I knew my mom was there. I managed to make it the following twelve or so hours without seeing her, probably to give me a chance to recover a little. I was still very shaken up, and seeing her wouldn't help that. That was achieved mostly by staying in my room, hiding from her. I didn't want to leave my room despite the fact that I was physically able to, as it was safe.

The most I did was dart across the hall to the bathroom, and returned safely to my room. If I'd had a bucket, I wouldn't have bothered to leave at all, as gross as it sounded. I just _really_ didn't want to see her.

I was painfully aware that there was a baby in the house, though. That wasn't something easily ignored, especially when the little fucker wanted something.

As much as I appreciated my family's need to help people who really needed it, I hated it now. They could help anyone they wanted to, except for her. Her, I'd rather watch be set on fire, so keeping that bitch and her demon kid around was a very bad idea.

At Esme insistence, though, I glared at the counter. Sitting there that afternoon, trying to make myself be hungry enough to eat, when my mom came in and found me. She actually came looking for me, which probably wasn't the best idea.

I had my issues with her. She'd put effort into helping me the day before, but that didn't just magically make everything okay.

"Leandra?" I tensed, hating the sound of her hesitant voice, "Please. Can I just.. Talk to you?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" I grumbled without looking at her. That was as close to a yes as she was going to get. Esme met my eyes as I looked to her. I grit my teeth slightly as I heard the seat beside me become occupied.

"I'm not really that hungry." I admitted to Esme, and she sighed.

"Please, sweetie." Esme murmured, "Please try." She hated it when I went all day without eating anything, much less going on two days. It wasn't just my mom sitting there that made this difficult, but it certainly didn't help. I'd been willing to attempt it, but not anymore. Not even attempting to take my plate would help this time.

If my mom knew anything about what was good for her, she wouldn't say anything to me about my reluctance to eat. If she did, I would lose it, and probably punch that babbling baby right next to me. I hated that thing almost as much as I hated her.

"Does this happen a lot?" My mom asked, but I knew that question had been toward Esme. That was tolerable. Barely, but tolerable.

"Sometimes." Esme replied, "The more stress she's under, the harder it is for her to want to eat. She seemed to be doing better there for a little while, but I can't say I didn't expect this after yesterday."

My mom didn't reply, but I assumed she nodded. I didn't bother looking over, as I knew she was watching me. I couldn't even look at her. I could barely stand sitting next to her. Just knowing she was there grated violently on my nerves. Wearing them thin in record time.

"Leandra?" My mom actually spoke to me, and I glared at the counter in front of me.

"What?" I muttered bitterly.

She sighed, "I don't like upsetting you."

"Then leave."

"Leandra." Esme sighed, "Please. Just try."

"I won't be here long." My mom replied, "I promise. I've intruded enough-"

"Good." I muttered, making my quiet voice as sharp as I could.

"Leandra." Esme spoke again. She sounded like she was more upset about my being very rude than anything else. That just made it worse.

"It's okay." My mom murmured, "She has every right to be angry at me. She has every right to hate me for what I've done. Lord knows I do." As long as she acknowledged that. We were now on the same page, allowing me to glance over at her, and the baby in her arms.

She must have done an amazing job at covering her face before, because I was seeing these bruises for the first time. Old and new. Across her face, contrasting almost violently with her skin, those bruises on her face spoke louder than any word I'd ever heard. Making what she went through painfully obvious to anyone who looked at her twice.

The bruising on my face had never been that bad. Not once. Jack did what he could to leave my face alone, aside from an occasional slap or backhand. She looked like they'd outright aimed for her face. I couldn't miss the dark bruising also circling her neck, and the now obvious split in her lip.

I also spotted the new bruise, received from Ken's punch just the day before. That one darkened her eye, and I could clearly see exactly where he'd hit her. He must have hit her with quite a bit of force to make her bruise that dark that quickly. Vaguely, I could feel my expression soften in concern, but I looked down before she could see that.

"Oh," She seemed to understand what I had been staring at, "No. I'm fine, baby." At least now I could understand why my family wanted to help her so bad. It made sense. If they could see that, just one look would tell them that she wasn't there by choice. Even I could see that, and I hated her.

All that, paired with the brutal shame in her eyes made it hard to ignore the now clear fact that she'd certainly suffered.

The baby made a noise, grating further on my nerves. I glared over at him, but he was already staring at me. Chewing and drooling all over his tiny hands in his mouth. Just looking at him made me want to fling him off the roof. I wanted to see if he'd bounce. I wanted to see if he could fly. I looked to her again, watching as she gently smoothed his dark hair.

I recognized his blue eyes, as well as the shape of those blue eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"He's Jack's." I muttered, "Isn't he?"

"Yes." She answered honestly, "Unplanned, but certainly not unloved. His name is Hunter." Fitting, I thought.

I hated that I knew what she meant, but it did help minimally. Knowing now that it hadn't been her choice or idea to give Jack a son. She wasn't trying to replace me. Not at all. I believed her when she told me that, but I wanted to stay angry at her. I wanted to keep hating her.

"Then you should have killed it when it was born." I grumbled, "The last thing everybody needs is another one of him around."

"It's not his fault who his father is, baby." She pointed out, and I shrugged. She sighed again, looking up as Esme rounded the counter. My mom let Esme gently take the baby from her. Probably so she could try to talk to me without me hating the baby in her lap, or punching it in its stupid face.

"Just like it's not my fault who my mom is." I muttered after a bit of silence, "And don't call me that. I have a damn name." Everybody in the world would be allowed to call me that before she could.

"I know you do." She replied, "I was the one that chose your name."

"Don't give me that shit." I shook my head, "I'm not up to listening to what you think you know."

"I'm sorry." She instantly replied, "You're right, Leandra."

"Why are you here?" I finally demanded, "To hide? You know you're just going to bring Jack here, right? You know he's just gonna come looking for you. I don't want to be here when he finds your sorry ass."

"I'm not staying here long." She looked down, "Just for that reason."

"Then leave." I repeated.

"Please." She murmured, "Just listen-"

"Why should I?" I barked, "You never listened to me. You never helped me. My whole life, you never helped me. You never did anything but lay there. Not once. Who do you think it was that kept you alive?"

"I'm sorry." She said again before I could continue, "That was a burden you were never meant to bear, Leandra. I'm so sorry."

"What do _you_ know about anything?" I muttered, "And I didn't do it for _you_." I sneered the last word, "I did it to keep Jack happy. No matter how hurt I was, I had to check on _you_, and do what had to be done to keep _you_ alive. You couldn't even die to keep me from having to do that."

"Believe me," She spoke, "I wanted to. I'm sorry you were put through that, Leandra, but-"

"Don't even say it." I grumbled, standing up, "You have no idea."

"Please, baby." She sighed, catching my arm lightly as I moved to leave the room, "Just listen. Two minutes."

"I don't want to listen." I yanked my arm from her hand, "I hope you suffered every second you were with him. I really hope so, because you deserve to."

"Leandra-" I didn't miss the emotion in the word.

"Just do everyone a favor, and go die." I spat, "I don't want to listen to anything you have to say. You had your chance, but you wanted to be selfish instead. Well, it's my turn now."

Turning and walking away, I found the living room, sitting down on the couch angrily. Who the hell was she to ask me to listen? I didn't owe her a goddamn thing.

I didn't owe her anything. Not a damn second of my time. Why should I be the one to have to bend and to give her what she asked for, when she never once gave me what I needed from her? She turned her back on me my entire life, and now here she was, wanting me to give in. For what? Why did she want me to listen? It wouldn't do any good whatsoever in helping her case.

"That was cold." Emmett muttered, and I glared up at him.

"Not as cold as it was for me sleeping outside in the middle of January." I snapped, "Don't even try to talk me out of hating that bitch. She might have fooled you all, but she's not fooling me."

I was determined to keep my anger. Holding onto it as tight as I could. Everyone else seemed so easy to convince, forgetting about what that bitch put me through for most of my life, but I wouldn't forget. I wouldn't let myself.

"Who's being fooled?" He asked, "She's not out to fool anyone."

"Whatever." I grumbled, "Either way, she did what she did." And there was absolutely _nothing_ in the world that would fix that.

"You know Jack." He pointed out, "You know what he does to people."

"So?" I snapped again, "I wish Jack had just finished the job. It would have kept me from having to do it. Now I have to be the one to put her out of her misery."

"Think about it, shorty." He stressed, "You saw the video. You've heard everyone who knew you say that she loved you. She loves you."

"If she loved me so goddamn much, why didn't she show it?" I argued, "She never tried. Not once. Well, now it's too little too late. She can't just hide out here. If you won't kick her out, I'll make that bitch want to leave."

"She's staying, shorty." He replied, "I'm sorry, but-"

"Great." I muttered, standing back up, "Just more work for me." He caught my hand before I could turn.

"Until we know where Jack-ass crawled off to, it's safer to keep her here." He explained quickly. I fought to free my hand, yanking on it as hard as I dared.

"Then I'll kill the bitch myself." I barked, looking to him, "Since she won't do it on her own." He obviously didn't like that. Given the way his eyes narrowed, he was having trouble believing that I said that.

"You wouldn't." He muttered.

"Watch me." I snapped, finally yanking my hand free. I reached out, grabbing a pen off of the coffee table. I turned, holding it tight in my fist as I headed for the kitchen. Before I could get too far, however, Emmett wrapped his arms around me, and lifted me off my feet.

I struggled slightly, but didn't fight as he easily plucked the pen from my hand. I let it go, huffing a little. More upset now by being prevented from doing what I needed to do than I was by the fact that what I needed to do was a very bad thing.

"Carlisle." Emmett called up the stairs, "I think we've got a problem." He was already on his way downstairs, though. I glared at Carlisle as he easily took me from Emmett, holding me himself. Emmett sighed, "I think you should talk with her a little. Maybe that'll loosen her up."

"No it won't." I argued, "I don't care what anybody says, I'll always hate that bitch. She deserves to die for what she did to me." I looked over as my mom slowly stepped into the room. Turning my attention on her as my anger suddenly flared, "I could have been happy!"

"I made the wrong choice." She explained over my voice.

"No shit!"

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke, and I clenched my teeth around an angry sob. I had a lot more I wanted to say to her.

"I could have been happy." I repeated, glaring at my mom, "You fucked up."

"Gina," Carlisle spoke before she could reply again, "I think this discussion should wait until we get back. I'd like a chance to talk to her first." I kept my glare on my mom, which was probably what made her agree. Carlisle looked over, "Emmett? Would you mind coming along with us?" That seemed to surprise him.

"No problem." Emmett replied. With that, Carlisle turned. Carrying me toward the garage with Emmett in tow.

"You should have let me kill her." I grumbled as Carlisle set me on my feet outside the passenger seat of his car. I wanted to go back in there, but with him standing right there, I just climbed into the car. Emmett didn't seem to mind the back seat. Probably to let Carlisle talk to me without having to turn around.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke the second we got moving, not even out of the garage yet, "I just have one question for you. What would you have done if Emmett hadn't stopped you?"

"Stabbed her until she died." I answered easily, "Or until the fucking pen broke."

"Why?" He asked, "And do you think you're capable of such an act?"

"I know I am." I replied, "And because she needs to die. I hate her."

"But why do you believe she needs to die?"

"For what she did." I said as if it should be obvious. How was nobody but me seeing how justified my hatred of her was? How was everybody just automatically on her side? When the hell had everything turned around? I thought we were all on the same page when it came to my mom. When did I land on a different page?

"Nobody deserves to die for an honest mistake." Carlisle replied simply.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, looking over at him, "What she did wasn't an honest mistake."

"So you believe she wronged you on purpose?" He asked. I stayed quiet.

"Well, no." I muttered, "But-"

"Leandra, none of what she did was intentional." He told me, "She didn't want to put you through anything you went through. Of course she didn't. I've been quite curious myself about the details." I looked back down, "About what could possibly cause a mother to deny the instinct to protect her child at any cost. It's one of the strongest, most undeniable instincts in the world."

"But she did." I grumbled, my gaze out the window, "She did deny it. She ignored me every day for most of my life. She could have helped me at any time, but she didn't." I forced my angry and emotionally trembling voice to steady, "She didn't even try. She was right there the whole time, and she never even tried. She wouldn't. Why should I have to be the one that tries now that she wants me to try? It's not fair."

It was true, I was hurt by all that, but forcing me to listen to whatever excuse she pulled out of her ass wasn't going to help me with that.

He sighed, "She was faced with a serious, traumatic situation. An incredibly difficult decision, and no matter which way she chose, she lost."

"She deserved to." I subtly wiped a tear from my cheek with my shoulder. I'd cried enough tears over that bitch. I hated that I cried more now.

"She had to choose between continuing to act on that instinct to protect you," He went on, "Or accept the fact that that instinct was causing you more pain. To be forced to deny such an instinct, with no other option available, it breaks a person."

"That was her own stupid fault."

"I ask you, Leandra," He murmured, "To just try to think about what her side of this must have been like. You endured immeasurable amounts of pain, it's true, but imagine her side."

"I don't care about her side." I snapped quietly, "I hope she suffered. I hate her so much, and I can't believe you're taking her side in this."

"There are no sides."

"Bull _shit_." I snapped in reply, finally looking at him, "There are two sides. Mine and hers, and you chose hers. You don't even care what it was like for me, do you? You don't even care. Just because she's got a stupid baby with her. Well, I hope they both die."

"Shorty." Emmett was the one correcting me from his place in the back seat. That shut me up. Glaring back out the window, I did feel bad, but I couldn't help it. This felt like a huge betrayal. I'd expected at least one person to be on my side of this, but nobody was. Once again, nobody cared. I was on my own on this, and I felt the pain of that all over again. I wasn't sure if I was jealous or not, but I knew I wasn't happy about it.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke after a moment, "I know why you're upset. I understand completely why you're so against this, but I want you to know that there are no sides between you and your mother. You're blaming your mother for being weaker than Jack, and that's not how it's supposed to be. That'd be like someone blaming you for being weaker than him.

"You say she deserved to suffer at his hands, but did you deserve it?" He asked, "Would you really wish anybody to suffer at his hands, when you know full well what that was like to experience?"

"Yes." I muttered, "Especially her. I didn't deserve it. I didn't choose him. She chose him."

"It was an honest mistake."

"Stop saying that!" I couldn't help it, "Stop saying that like it doesn't matter!"

"It does matter." He said, "It certainly does matter, but there's more to it than you're letting yourself see."

"I don't _want_ to see it!"

"She's not denying the fact that she made a wrong choice eight and a half years ago." He replied, "She's admitted that several times, and it's killing her."

"Not fast enough." I muttered, forcing my tone to quiet.

"She understands completely, as much as we all do, that your pain and your anger is justified. All we're asking of you is to just try to understand her point."

"It's not fair to ask me to do that." I grumbled, "If my anger is so justified, why should she even ask me to listen to her at all?"

"We're doing everything we can to find another place for her." He told me, "This is only temporary."

"Just fucking kick her out!" I practically plead, "Just kick her out. Why let her stay at all? She doesn't deserve it. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Leandra." Emmett's tone was sharper, and that made me shut up again.

Carlisle sighed, but fell quiet. Outside, it started to rain. Fat drops of rain beginning to pelt the windshield now and then. We were getting into the rainiest season, late spring/early summer, so it wasn't a surprise that it was raining again.

I hated feeling like this. Truthfully, this hurt me quite a bit. Nobody cared anymore what she put me through. They'd fallen for whatever bullshit sob-story she'd fed them, like whatever she did didn't matter anymore. Just like that, I had to turn on them just as much as I turned on her.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked, frowning out the window.

"Yeah." Emmett agreed, "Where are we going?" I was glad that I wasn't the only one confused. Carlisle didn't answer, however. Probably expecting me to figure it out on my own.

Sure enough, moments later, I did figure it out when I recognized the isolation of the area. The deserted road, packed with trees on both sides.

"Why there?" I asked, looking over at him, "I don't want to go there." Was he _trying_ to torture me? I was thinking yes.

"I'm hoping he's there." Carlisle replied quietly.

"Ken?" Emmett frowned.

"Of course not." He glanced back at him.

"Good." Emmett replied, "Because last I saw of him, they were plucking bits of him out of the trees-"

"Emmett."

The second those words registered to me, I was gagging before Carlisle could tell him to shut up. Honestly worried about my stomach holding out, I squeezed my eyes shut. The vivid image of that was more than enough to make me cover my mouth. As upset as I'd been, I couldn't handle that without wanting to throw up.

"I would probably stop." Emmett muttered to Carlisle, watching me. I was grateful he said something, because the second I could, I opened the door. I didn't get out, not needing to just yet. The fresh air helped calm my turning stomach, so I breathed deep. Picturing that was a little too much on my already very rattled nerves.

"I'm sorry, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "I guess I shouldn't give the details."

My hand still covering my mouth, I shook my head. Agreeing that he shouldn't give the details. I didn't trust myself speaking just yet. Behind me, Carlisle stepped from the car with a sigh.

_Bits_ of him? I'd known him. Spoke with him, heard him talk to me. _Bits_ of a person I used to know, and had interacted with? I couldn't get that image out of my head.

I desperately needed a new subject. I looked up as Carlisle rounded the front of the car to my side, "You're hoping the stranger is here?"

"I believe you'd do well with a chance to thank him." Carlisle replied, and I couldn't help agreeing. It couldn't hurt, and it would give me a chance to really look at him. Being given this opportunity was just what I needed to feel a little better.

"But isn't it dangerous?" I asked.

"Extremely." Emmett replied, "But I can see his point."

"You do?"

"Something about you interests him." Carlisle explained, "Whatever that interest might be, he's obviously hesitant to approach us himself. Just you."

"And you're hoping that with me here, you can talk to him?" I asked, and he nodded a little, "Isn't that like waving me at him like bait? Jasper would throw a fit if he knew."

Emmett laughed, "Way to put it, shorty."

"I do want to see him again." I muttered, "Just so I can thank him. Win-win. Unless he was just being nice to me so you'd come looking for him alone. Then it's not really a win-win."

"She's got a point." Emmett pointed out, looking to Carlisle. Before Carlisle could change his mind, though, I stood up. I hadn't actually wanted to change his mind. I was just pointing out the obvious. Sometimes my trust issues made sense.

"It would be too much effort for him to use you to get to us." Carlisle explained to me, "Not to mention the risks. If he meant us harm, we'd have known it long before now." I nodded a little, "Now we wait."

"Either way," Emmett stood from the car last, "I'm with you, Carlisle. I just hope you know what you're doing."

Standing, however, hurt a little. Considering I hadn't even bothered to put shoes on, so the bottoms of my feet against the dirt felt too cold. Carlisle lifted me, obviously realizing it was bad for me to stand out here in bare feet.

That didn't sit right with me, though.

"Put me down." I told him, and I realized fully as I said it that this was the first time I'd ever told him that. This was the first time I ever refused contact with him. I was still mad at him, and I didn't exactly want to be held by someone I was mad at.

This surprised him, but he did as I asked. Setting me back on my feet. Emmett reached over as if he was going to pick me up next, but I stepped away. Giving him a look. He was just as guilty of betraying me as Carlisle was. I didn't want to be held by either one of them. I didn't want to be held by anyone. I was perfectly fine with standing, even with bare feet.

They shared a glance, but didn't insist. This mattered to me, and if they hadn't seen it before, they knew it now. There certainly were sides. I wasn't going to let them ignore that. I wasn't against waiting. I'd be willing to wait all day if that's what it took, but nobody was going to hold me while we waited. I crossed my arms, shivering a little and leaning back against the car gently as I looked around.

"Maybe we stopped too soon?" I asked after a minute, "This doesn't look like the same place."

"It doesn't have to be the exact same spot." Emmett replied, "Just being in the area is enough. If he's anywhere nearby, he'll know you're here."

"Maybe he's nervous." I muttered, "Maybe he thinks you're mad at him."

"It'll probably take a minute, shorty." He said, "With it raining like this, scents are just a little harder to catch right away." As if emphasizing his point, Emmett placed his jacket around me. I hadn't even noticed how the rain had picked up. As much as I wanted to be stubborn, I accepted his jacket.

It did only take a few minutes longer. My guess was long enough for our scent to travel. When Carlisle looked to the right, turning that direction, and Emmett followed suit, I did as well. I couldn't hear anything aside from the drops of light rain hitting the road and the dirt around us, but that didn't stop me from trying.

When Emmett took a few steps back, I didn't mind. I wondered why he'd want Carlisle ahead of us, but that didn't matter much. I must have been okay to continue standing there, but I did feel better that Emmett was with us. If this stranger wasn't friendly, I knew Carlisle would probably need Emmett's help.

Up ahead, almost hesitantly, someone stepped from the trees. Though it was tough to see him, I knew it was the same one that had saved me that day. I smiled a little, unable to help it.

He didn't say anything at first, and neither did Carlisle. Both just watching each other for a moment. I fidgeted a little, nervous as I watched the stranger. It was instinct to be afraid of him, and I knew that, but I stayed quiet. Staying as still as I could.

"Hello." Finally the stranger spoke. I almost couldn't hear him, as he was several feet away, but I knew Carlisle could hear him just fine.

"Hello." Carlisle returned.

"I was hoping to speak to you." The stranger seemed friendly enough, "But I wasn't particularly eager to wander too close to your territory."

"It's appreciated." Carlisle replied.

"I see your human is alright." He gestured to me, "The added protection isn't necessary, I assure you. She is quite safe."

"Precaution." Carlisle allowed, "I'd prefer to be cautious, considering the dangers lately. Also considering the fact that you are not alone." He wasn't alone? That was a problem, wasn't it? Nervously, I looked to Carlisle. Were we in trouble? He didn't seem too nervous, so I would wait to freak out until I knew if I should or not.

"I understand." The stranger nodded, "But if I'm not mistaken, you know my friend. Once you recognize him for who he is, I believe you'll understand my business here."

"Not by that scent." Emmett spoke, "Should we?"

"Please," He smiled, "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cole, and as you've noticed, I've been following your coven for a little while. I apparently frightened your human. I apologize for that."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Cole." Carlisle replied, "This is Emmett," He gestured to Emmett, then me, "And Leandra. My name is Carlisle."

Almost hesitantly, Emmett reached forward, and pulled me away from the car. Keeping me close to him now, which only made me more nervous. Maybe he was just letting me stay there until the introductions were out of the way, but that didn't help me calm down.

"Emmett?" I whimpered as quietly as I could. He didn't seem worried, but guarded. The rain continued around us, and my hair was already soaked. Sticking to my face and neck as I looked over, but I didn't focus on that. Watching the stranger.

"I mean you and your coven no harm, Carlisle." Cole repeated, probably to ease us a little more, "Especially not the girl. My friend here wouldn't allow it if I even wanted to." Hesitantly, the stranger looked over at the trees again. Giving a slow nod and a wave. Gesturing someone from the trees.

"Show yourself, boy." Cole said firmly, but quietly. I hardly heard him. Being several feet away and getting rained on, I didn't know who this was at first stepping from the trees. Looking our way carefully, his wet, black hair swept back.

Emmett chuckled, obviously recognizing this new person as he patted my shoulder a little and looked to me. I strained, trying to see closer.

"I see." Carlisle spoke, his tone a whole lot lighter, "Hello again." The new stranger came to Cole's side, but watched us. Probably waiting for me to recognize him. It was difficult. Both Carlisle and Emmett seemed a whole lot less defensive now, so they did recognize him.

"Princess." _That_ I recognized. I couldn't breathe at first. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to react. I just stared, suddenly wishing so bad I could see better.

"Mikah." I gasped, whimpering, and though it was hard to see though the sheet of rain between where he stood several feet away and where I was, I saw him smile. I was so suddenly in tears. I couldn't believe he was standing there. Right there.

"Shall we take this to a more private area?" Cole asked, giving a glance around, "I'm quite uncomfortable being out in the open like this."

"Of course." Carlisle replied, "Care to lead the way?" He was obviously trusting them. I couldn't stop staring, until Emmett chuckled again and covered my teary eyes with his hand as he lifted me. I didn't give one protest. Too surprised to do so.

Uncovering my eyes after just a moment, Emmett chuckled as I looked around almost desperately. Until I found Mikah again. We now stood surrounded by trees. A river separated us, but Mikah was just as far away as he was before.

"Mikah." I repeated, almost relieved, "You're here."

He gave a quiet laugh, "I'm here."

"Can you come just a little closer?" I asked, "So I can see you better?" He looked toward Cole beside him, who hesitated.

"It's alright with me." He told him, "But be careful. Remember your limits, boy."

As Mikah jumped over to our side of the river, Carlisle crossed to the opposite. Emmett stayed with me, but Carlisle wanted to talk with Cole. Or he wanted to make Cole feel better about Mikah being over here. I didn't care why as Emmett carefully set me on my feet, but held my hand. Letting me know I needed to be careful.

I leaned against him when my ankle protested at me standing, but I barely felt it. Far too interested in who stood just a few feet from me. He wouldn't get any closer, and I knew that, but that didn't stop me from wishing he would.

"Not too close, shorty." Emmett told me, and I nodded a little. It was hard, but I held myself back.

It was Mikah. He was really here. At first, I couldn't focus on anything but his eyes. I was so used to seeing his eyes a gray, steel color. Not crimson, like they were now. His deep crimson eyes were staring back into mine, but the wide open expression in them made the crimson color a lot friendlier.

He smiled again, and it became more real.

"Princess." He spoke again, and I started to recognize his voice a little more. Even quiet, his voice was breathless. Like he didn't want to breathe at first.

I didn't know what to do. Stunned into stillness and silence, staring at him like I'd completely lost my mind. In a way, I felt like I had. I couldn't help the almost desperate way my expression changed as more tears fell. He'd changed so much, but still looked exactly the way I remembered him.

I whimpered where I stood and emotion strangling the sound.

His smile softened, "Don't cry. Come on."

"I can't help it." I sobbed quietly. I ached to hug him. To say something besides random words that made almost no sense, but his smile softened as if he understood everything I wasn't able to say yet.

I had so many things to say, so many questions, but they all ran into each other on their way out, and the only sound I could make was a pathetic, squeaking sob. This was the most amazing thing I could have been given, and Emmett understood that. Hugging me against his side, both helping me to stay standing and helping me calm down.

With just his eyes and smile, Mikah reassured me. Retreating another step, but he wasn't leaving, given the way he crouched down. I stayed still, standing there very unsure. I really wanted to move closer to Mikah, but his crimson eyes froze me in my spot. I couldn't. I knew to keep my distance. He needed me to keep my distance.

"There's no need to be afraid." Cole obviously misinterpreted my tears, and I looked to him across the river, "I trained him well."

"I-I'm not afraid." I whimpered, "I just.. I don't know." I was confused, and I didn't know what to do. It seemed to be easier to talk to Cole at that point, so I would talk to him first before trying to talk to Mikah.

"You were the one in the house that night, too." I told him, "In New York."

"Indeed." He smiled at me, "That was me. Mikah hasn't stopped talking about you since we found you." I glanced forward at Mikah again. Though tense, he seemed overjoyed. I still couldn't believe he was there. I couldn't help looking at him every few seconds.

"You scared the hell out of me that night, Cole." I sobbed a laugh, unable to help it. The relief was almost too much. He chuckled as well, watching as I cleared left over tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

It was at that point that Cole and Carlisle crossed back over to our side of the river. Probably so speaking was easier for me. I appreciated that, since I could see Cole clearer as well. Now that I could see him, I remembered more about the way I laid in his arms. How easy he was with me after what I'd just gone through meant a whole lot to me.

"I apologize." He replied, "I didn't mean to frighten you. I admit, however, that I was curious. I needed to see the human with an immortal's protection, so the moment all was clear, I took a peek. I deeply hope that that human wasn't some odd sort of friend of yours. Yesterday?"

What kind of friend would pin me to the ground like that? Then again, he probably didn't have the most experience with having to understand human behaviors.

"No." I muttered quietly, "He wasn't. Thank you for helping me."

"Convenient, then, that he decided to stop with you just where I was able to find you." Cole nodded, "You certainly seemed in distress."

"I was." I admitted.

"Who was that?" Mikah asked, and I looked to him. I looked down briefly. Mikah wasn't taking that, though, "What was he doing to you?"

"Mikah stayed behind." Cole explained, "Considering I had no doubts that he'd have ripped that human's head off on the spot." I shuddered, "I thought this darling could do without seeing that."

"Good thinking." Emmett replied.

"That's a story for another time." Carlisle, thankfully, put their curiosity to rest for now, "It involves a very lengthy explanation." Mikah sighed, but nodded a little.

I had plenty of questions of my own, though. I watched Mikah again and he watched me. His smile returned when I tried to speak again, but could only whimper once more.

"Where have you been?" I asked, a little more successful at speaking to Mikah this time.

"I've been around." He replied, "Mostly in New York, staying clear of the other scents there, which wasn't easy, considering Rosalie was watching my family for me. I didn't know it was her until I saw her."

"You remembered Rosalie?" I asked.

"It's hard to explain." He smiled, "But yeah. I remembered her."

"Why didn't you just talk to her?" I asked.

"She most likely would have seen us as a threat." Cole answered, "I know our scent was apparent in the area, but we didn't want to overstep by approaching, and risk scaring her off or worse, challenging her. We weren't looking to impose, and we certainly weren't looking for a fight.

"We let her do her job. She's quite different, and we decided that she was best to work with the humans. We were only there as back up in case it was needed, and the night of the fire, it was needed." He looked to Carlisle, "I apologize for not explaining sooner, but what I had meant by, 'It has been handled', was just that. I'd taken care of the human responsible for the fire myself."

"That's why nobody could find him." I understood.

"There was nothing left to find." Mikah added with a small smirk.

Understanding came to Carlisle's eyes as well, "It's appreciated."

"An attempt was made on the lives of the young ones," Cole explained, "And I owe Mikah more than letting a human get away with that."

"I'm sorry." I suddenly said, looking to Mikah yet again, "About your old house."

"You protected them." He murmured, "You made sure they weren't there that night. That's all that matters to me. I wouldn't have been able to just show up and scoop them all up myself. No way."

"Especially considering that fire is as bad for us as it is for you." Emmett pointed out to me, "We're pretty flammable." I nodded a little, wincing.

"You've been around." I said to Mikah.

"From the second I could be." He replied, nodding.

I looked up at Emmett, "Is that why you stayed outside that night? The first night I saw Alyssa again?"

"You caught me." He chuckled, "I caught their scent, and wanted to check it out. Sorry I fibbed, shorty."

"It's okay." I replied. I doubted I could be mad about anything when I was so happy to see Mikah. I was just as overjoyed as Mikah was, and I was sure it showed as I looked to him once more.

"So you've been watching them?" I asked, smiling a little as well.

"Of course." He replied quietly, "I couldn't leave them yet." He looked down, "I couldn't be there in the beginning. Not until I learned some kind of control, but I've been watching them since the night Rosalie disposed of that worthless human. I'd have done it myself, but I couldn't risk getting close enough."

"She's been watching them." I nodded a little, "Keeping an eye on them. For me."

"Why?" He frowned, "I know she's been watching them, but why?"

"How much time do you have?" I asked sadly.

"Plenty." He smirked, his expression also sad.

"Remember Jack?" I asked, and he frowned a little. Obviously thinking.

"Your.. Stepfather, right?" He asked, as if unsure, "The one that was after you?" I nodded.

"That's why." I said, "That's why Rosalie has been watching them. Jack was getting mad that he couldn't get a hold of me, and told me he was going to hire people to go after them. Your family, and my dad's family. Just because I knew them." His eyes narrowed, "My family has been doing everything they can to get him, but he's hidden away this entire time, and nobody can find him."

"Your stepfather." Cole spoke, "He's a problem?"

"A big one." I answered, "He's the one who hired that guy to burn down Alyssa's house. He's getting madder with every chance he misses, and with nobody able to find him, that's a problem."

Mikah looked to Cole, and I looked down. I took a breath before something else clicked as well, and I had to laugh a little.

"It's been you. You're the one hunting people in New York."

He smiled sheepishly, "It's kind of required at my age, princess. I did what I could to be careful, but sometimes, I can't help myself."

Oddly, that didn't bother me as much as I thought it would at first.

"Well," I said, "Be more careful. You're freaking everyone out."

"I'll see what I can do about that." He chuckled.

"I have so many things I want to tell you." I murmured, looking to Mikah. Emotion suddenly springing forward yet again.

"I know." He replied, "You don't know how happy I am, though, that I can talk to you now. That I can talk to anyone from my old life. You're as close to my family as I can get now."

"I can't tell Alyssa about you." I pointed out, "She wouldn't believe me, and probably hate me for making something up like that, and it would get her in trouble. Humans aren't supposed to know about your kind."

"Smart girl." Cole nodded a little.

"I know." Mikah said again, "I wouldn't want you to tell her. She doesn't need to know what happened to me that night, but I do have to admit. It kills me to know she's hurting so bad, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"I'm doing what I can about that." I admitted, and he nodded, "Now I don't have to cry when I go back there." His smile saddened again, "You heard that too, didn't you?"

"I did." He murmured, "That's part of why we're here now. I can't talk to Alyssa, and tell her I'm alright, but I can talk to you. I knew I could the second I caught your scent."

"Thank you." I replied quietly.

"Part of?" Emmett asked, "What's the rest of the reason?"

"That involves a lengthy explanation." Cole repeated Carlisle's earlier statement, "Perhaps later we can discuss options."

"Options?" I asked, hesitant.

"We're more than aware of the situation in Seattle, darling." Cole explained, "It's getting worse by the day," He looked to Carlisle, "And I'm assuming you've avoided the area?"

"Of course." Carlisle replied.

"Perhaps I can be of some use." Cole nodded, "I'd be happy to assist by gathering information from the city itself, because as we both know, humans never get the full story, and it's dangerous to rely on only what they tell you. If they're looking for you, they won't suspect me."

"Well, that'd be a big help." Emmett muttered, surprised as he looked to Carlisle.

"We'll discuss it later." Carlisle nodded, but he definitely seemed interested.

If Mikah was in pain, he didn't show it. Despite his tension, he crouched there with no problem. Just watching me. As contagious as his smile was, I couldn't return it and mean it.

"I need to know." I murmured to him, "Did your dad do this?" I needed to know what happened if we were going to keep trying to get Alyssa back to him.

"My dad?" He sighed, "He didn't know what he was doing. Please try not to blame him. It was just.. Wrong place, wrong time. A lesson he thought he was teaching me, and it would have worked, but.."

"What did he do, Mikah?" I carefully sat down myself when my ankle ached too much. Settling onto the ground, watching his every move, "Is he the reason you died?"

"I never died." He corrected quietly, "I was.. In pretty rough shape, but I would have survived."

"Then why?" I frowned, "What happened?"

"Jon said some things he really shouldn't have," He muttered, "And I took a cheap shot at him. Shut him right up." He laughed, but it faded, "I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have. Jon was just being Jon.

"My dad stepped in, trying to sort it out somewhere away from the kids. Where they couldn't jump in and get hurt. Jon was mad, I was mad, and my dad was getting there fast. Since I was the one that took the shot, I was the one that needed sorting out."

"Jon should have been the one that got sorted out." I grumbled, "Alyssa said that he hit Sammy when he got back inside."

He closed his eyes as if hating that, shaking his head.

"Can't say Sammy didn't have it coming." He finally sighed, "That kid is gonna get himself into trouble, I'm guessing with some parents, and he's not gonna know what hit him."

"Anyway." I muttered, and he smirked.

"Anyway," He continued, nodding a little, "We drove for a little while, and I don't even remember where we ended up. I was too worked up to pay much attention." I nodded, listening close.

"Eventually, he stopped. That was just fine with me, though. My dad and I got into it, but he didn't actually mean to cause this. He was mad at me, I was mad at him, and we just.. Well, when they tell you that losing your temper is never the answer, they know what they're talking about. There were a lot of things said that I wish I'd never said, and I wish so much that I could take them back.

"My dad is a very physical person. It doesn't matter who it is. Second oldest son or not. If they step up to him, they're going down. When angry words, accusations, insults start flying like that, he'd rather finish talking with his fists. Put up or shut up.

"I can't tell you how many times Jon learned that while we were growing up, but Jon is just as stubborn as he is. I guess no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't break away from that part of my gene pool. Either way, that was the night I thought I'd challenge him, and he wasn't going to stand for that."

I nodded again, and he laughed a little, but the sound was sad. I'd pretty much gathered that about Grant, but having it explained to me like this helped me understand a little better.

"I knew this," He went on, "And maybe I wanted that too. It's a little hard to remember everything. I do know, though, that it didn't end well for me. You can say that I got my ass beat pretty bad. He was probably expecting me to just wake up and drag my sorry ass back home with a lesson learned, like I did the last time he did it, but I never got the chance. Cole found me instead. I was unconscious at the time, so he figured my life needed saving.

"I don't regret what Cole did for me." He added, "Not in the least. He just didn't know what he was taking me from, but.. One drop of venom in the blood is all it takes, and there's no going back."

"I've been trying to make it up to him." Cole added, "By keeping an eye on his family for the time being. Then came you." I felt like I was all caught up. It was silent for a few moments as I looked down. I was still trying to wrap my head around all this.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, briefly looking down, and he frowned a bit in confusion, "For what happened. Alyssa told me what the fight was about."

He sighed, "Aly probably could have left that little detail out." He shook his head, "But look. What happened wasn't your fault. It was about more than that fight, princess, and I made my own choices, albeit stupid ones, but they were my own. I should have just ignored him like I always did, and just went on with what I was doing. 'Should have' makes no difference now, though. I could sit here all day and talk about 'should have's, but it won't change much.

"Hind-sight is twenty-twenty, you know? You think back and you see all the things you should have done, or the choices you could have made instead of the ones you made, and you can either live with it and keep moving on, or don't. It doesn't change where we are, princess, and _that_ applies to everyone. Everyone has regrets."

I looked down, knowing exactly what he was talking about. He just didn't know how fitting it was that he told me that. I couldn't believe he still seemed so much like himself. I'd expected him to be a completely different person.

"You don't hate your dad?" I asked, "For what he did?"

"No." He replied, "I don't. Being turned changes how you see things, princess, and accidents happen. Mistakes are made. It's going to happen, because he's only human. Even if I hadn't been turned, I would have forgiven him. It was stupid of me to step up to him like I did, and I would have known that either way. I only hope he learned from this, and will tame that temper or at least think twice next time.

"Nobody's perfect. Parents are included in that. They make the wrong choice all the time. Believe me, I should know, but no matter how bad they want to, they can't take those wrong choices back.

"For them, it's just like, 'Whoops, irreversible damage there. Let's keep going.' It's inevitable." I had to laugh a little at the way he said that. He went on, "It's either keep going, or that's all they can focus on. I know my dad regrets what he did, and he's just trying to live with those consequences. Same as the rest of us."

"I can't believe you're here." I finally whimpered, shaking my head.

"In the flesh." He replied, "Well, sort of. Just a little sturdier now."

"What do I do?" I asked, "What can I do?"

"About?" He asked, idly picking up a rock beside him where he continued to crouch, "Your stepdad?" I nodded a little, "I can see why you're scared. If he's pissed off enough to burn a house down, that's pretty intense."

"Mikah, I don't know what to do."

His expression softened, but he seemed incredulously curious at the same time.

"Is this all you needed?" He asked, smiling again, "Advice?" I shrugged a little, looking down, "Princess, I can't give you any better advice than anyone else can. I don't know everything in the world, but I can tell you that you've lived enough life to rival me. What do you think you should do?"

"I don't know." I muttered, "That's the problem."

"Then the answer should be right in front of you." He pointed out, "Whatever you've been doing seems to be working so far, right? I mean, you're here talking to me." I hadn't thought of it like that. I was glad that he still seemed to have that skill, pointing out the obvious in a way that I never looked for.

"So I should just do nothing?" I frowned.

"If I remember right," He replied, "You like to overthink about things. Looking for answers to problems when there is a perfectly good answer staring you in the face."

"I don't like them getting dragged into this."

"It's better them than you." He countered, "They can handle it. _You_ can't."

"Hey." I muttered, offended.

"Sorry." He chuckled, "It's true. That's what a coven is for, princess. Or family, in your case. They deal with the things you can't deal with on your own. Among other things. I wouldn't be able to do half the things I need to do without Cole, and if he ever needed back up, you bet your behind I'd be there."

"But it's not fair to them."

"Maybe you just need to change the way you think about this." He suggested, "Fair or not, they're going to do what they're going to do to protect you, because you're part of this coven, so you might as well get used to it."

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it." He replied, "It's gonna happen either way. They're going to do what they're going to do. That's just how it is."

"Thank you!" Emmett sighed incredulously, "She's so hard-headed sometimes." I'd almost forgotten that they were listening with how quiet they were.

"That hasn't changed, at least." Mikah laughed.

Emmett looked to Carlisle, "Can we keep him? He's cheaper than therapy." Briefly, I worried about that possibly offending Cole, but Cole only laughed.

"Mikah certainly isn't afraid to tell it like it is." Cole nodded.

"Why censor myself?" Mikah asked, "It just wastes time."

"You have unlimited time to waste." Cole pointed out.

"I don't like wasting anything." Mikah looked to me again, "He thinks I'm gonna censor myself? Fat chance. I mean, hell. Look where I am." He threw his arms out incredulously with a smile, "Stuck in the trees. Dragging Cole around with me, risking pissing Carlisle off, just for the chance to talk to you again."

"You're not dragging me anywhere, boy." Cole chuckled, "It's my job to watch you."

"He is quite controlled for a newborn." Carlisle observed, "Impressive."

"Thank you." Cole accepted that, "I don't make many newborns, but when I do, I accept full responsibility for them. As it should be. He's still learning, of course, but he's very determined. That helps a lot."

"You'd think I'd have at least earned the title of 'infant' by now." Mikah muttered to me, "Come on." I laughed a little again.

"You get that at six months." Cole played along, "You've got quite a ways to go."

"Fine, fine." Mikah replied, "At least I don't jump at people anymore." I winced.

"I'm afraid we have to get back." Carlisle sighed.

"Aw." I whined, looking up at him where I sat, "Why?"

"We can't stay out here all day, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "One, you're soaked. Two, you've got a talk to get through." I glared bitterly at him at the reminder. I hadn't been swayed a bit in that direction.

"I have nothing to say to that bitch."

"Hey." Mikah frowned, "None of that. Who are we talking about?"

"My fucking mom." I muttered, "She wants to 'explain' why she's such a bitch."

"And?" Mikah asked, "What's the problem?"

"I don't care why she's such a bitch." I explained, "I just want her to go die somewhere. She's the reason I had to deal with everything Jack did to me at all. She never even tried to help me."

"I see." Mikah replied, "A grudge."

"A big one." Emmett confirmed quietly.

I glared at my hands for a moment, "Cole should have killed her too."

"One thing I've learned," Mikah said, "Is that it's really, really easy to learn something new every day. If all she's asking is for you to just listen, would it kill you to do that?"

"No." I muttered, "But-"

"Hear her out, princess." He urged, "It's obviously important to her, or she wouldn't be asking you. Mistakes, remember?"

"This is a little worse than some mistake."

"Worse than being beaten up so bad, a vampire decides to turn you?" He asked, and that shut me up, "I would listen to anything my dad had to say. I would sit there and listen as long as he needed to talk. If only for the chance at closure. You don't even know how much I'd love that."

"You don't even know her."

"I don't have to." He replied, "It's a parents job to take care of their kids. When they do something that does the opposite of that, it's them that has to live with it. If whatever she did was bad enough to make you hate her this much, she knows how bad it is. She probably knew it before you even knew it. I guarantee that she already knows how badly she messed up, and she's just trying to live with what she's done. I can guarantee that."

I looked down.

"Just give it a try." He urged gently, "The worst that can happen, is you still hate her. Big deal, but if you'd just hear her out, you could possibly find just a little bit of relief for that hate in you. You're too good of a person to let something like hate consume you like this."

"I'm not a good person." I corrected, and he smirked.

"No?" He asked.

"No."

"Well, my mistake then." He chuckled, "You certainly had me fooled. I could have sworn I was better at being able to tell than that, because the princess I knew was a very good person." I shrugged a little, "Someone that would never let something so petty get in the way of recovering from a past like yours. Someone who would never let something so insignificant get in the way of what she wanted."

"I hate her."

"So hate her." He said, "But this way, you can say you tried, and be in the right." I didn't like it, but I wouldn't outwardly protest anymore.

"Seriously." Emmett spoke, "Can we keep him?"

Carlisle looked to Cole again, "You're welcome to come along and visit our home, but it'd be appreciated if you remain out of sight, as we have a human visitor."

"The woman." Cole remembered, "Her mother, apparently. Of course. Thank you, Carlisle, for the invitation. I think it's safe to say we'll be accepting it."

Emmett offered to help me stand, and I sighed, taking his offered hand. That was okay, at least. I knew they'd be coming home with us, so I willingly stood up. Mikah stood up as well, smiling again.

"See you there." He told me, and I sighed as Emmett picked me up.

"You better be there." I grumbled, "Or I'll kick your ass."

"Oh no." He snorted as he turned around, "Do it." I laughed a little at his challenge.

"Rain check." I muttered, "I'm wounded." I held out my wrapped ankle, giving him a view of it.

"Oh." He said, "Then don't do it. How'd that happen?"

"Ken pulled too hard on it." I replied, "My mom was trying to hold me, to keep me away from him, but he was stronger." Mikah gave me a pointed look, "I know. Yeah, yeah." He was trying to make his point, at me mentioning the way my mom tried to keep me away from him, despite knowing that her son would be the one to pay for it.

I chose not to focus on that.

"Who's Ken, though?" Mikah asked.

"Ken was the guy Cole ripped apart." Emmett answered, "The only complaint I have is that I couldn't be the one to do it."

"My apologies." Cole replied, "He was irritating me. He certainly has such a colorful vocabulary, doesn't he?"

"Good." Mikah muttered, "He's the one that made her cry like that, so he'd better be glad I couldn't be anywhere near blood."

"You heard that?" I asked, suddenly embarrassed.

"We were just coming back from Canada when we heard it." Mikah confirmed.

"What were you doing in Canada?" I frowned, and he gave me a look. I suddenly understood, "Oh."

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Well, at least it wasn't around here." I said.

"We try make it a point not to hunt where we want to stick around." Cole explained, "Aside from New York, but in his defense, Mikah was still young. He's gotten better."

I nodded a little, "It'd take practice, I think."

"You're awfully forgiving, princess." Mikah pointed out.

"It's what happens." I shrugged a little, "Vampires are supposed to hunt humans. You can't help it any more than I can stop breathing."

"I beg to differ." Carlisle added. I'd heard Jasper use that expression before, so I knew what it meant. Carlisle disagreed with what I'd just said.

"You're different." I replied, looking over at him, "Yours is a gift, right? An ability? Like my future-seeing or whatever the hell it is that I want to strangle." Emmett chuckled.

"The human has an ability?" Cole asked, surprised. Even Mikah seemed surprised.

"I'll explain that later." Carlisle assured him, "Along with the way we choose to live."

"I do have a few questions about that." Cole admitted to Carlisle, "Your lifestyle is very fascinating. We'll wait for you to return to your home before approaching, though."

"Oh, I beg you." Emmett laughed, "Don't tell Jazz they're coming. I want to see him lose his mind."

"You're so mean." I slapped his arm.

"I was kidding, shorty." He chuckled, "Relax."

"Besides," I added, "He'll probably lose his mind anyway. I know he's not going to like me being anywhere near Cole, because of what he said about his control. Remember?"

"I'm perfectly in control." Cole assured me, "And Mikah has known his limits for a little while now."

"It's a requirement." Mikah added, "Otherwise, a mini Seattle happens."

"Exactly." Cole nodded a little, "He has nothing to worry about."

"So wait.." I muttered, looking to Emmett, "The vampires in Seattle are new ones? Like Mikah?" Somehow, that made a difference.

"New ones that nobody's trained." Emmett replied, "Nobody's taught them."

"Someone's just making them and letting them run around?"

"A little more complicated than that, but that's what it looks like."

"Why are they staying in Seattle then?" I asked, "And why would someone just make a bunch of new vampires? Isn't it hard to keep track of one?"

"One has to be vigilant when it comes to a newborn they've created." Cole explained, "One has to be aware of said newborn's whereabouts at all times. Especially in the beginning. Their instincts are still brand new, and they're going to listen to them. It's the creator's job to teach them how to work with their instincts and control them when it's needed."

"Then why make a bunch of them?" I frowned, "I don't get it."

"As you can see," Carlisle spoke, looking to Cole, "There are a few details we haven't mentioned."

"Understandable." Cole replied, "We'll let you be the one to explain that. I refuse to overstep." Mikah offered me a small smile, probably hoping to ease my confusion to a more tolerable level. I couldn't help returning it.

I still dreaded it. Having to talk to my mom. I half hoped she'd be gone by the time we got back, but that hope was smashed the second I stepped into the house, and heard the baby babbling.

I tried to turn right around once I spotted her in the living room, but Emmett caught me.

"Just give her a chance." Emmett requested quietly, "Two minutes."

"She had most of my life of chances." I pointed out in a hissed whisper, "Why should I be the one that has to give her a chance? You give her a chance. Leave me out of it."

"I know this would be a good thing, shorty."

"I know it won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I still fucking hate her." I whispered sharply.

"Weren't you listening to a word Mikah told you?"

"This is way different than that."

"His dad almost killed him." Emmett reminded me, "That's a little worse than what your mom did, and she's got a reason."

"Excuses." I growled under my breath, "You know what I heard? Excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one, and most of them stink." He had trouble keeping his laughter back. He had to take a second to compose himself.

"One, you shouldn't say that again." He corrected once he could speak without laughing, "Two, I said she has a reason. There's a huge difference. Two minutes, shorty."

I groaned, "Fine. Two minutes." Turning back around, I looked toward my mom. When I didn't immediately yell at her, she stood up. Why was this so important to them? After she left here, I wouldn't have to see the stupid bitch again. Hopefully.

If I let her talk, though, maybe she'd leave and I could see Mikah again.

"Carlisle?" Esme seemed confused. Concerned. As if on cue, I knew Cole had probably arrived, and she was aware of it.

"I'll stay here with shorty." Emmett offered before Carlisle could ask. He nodded, and gestured that Esme follow him outside. My mom, holding Hunter, adjusted his weight in her arm and sighed.

"Leandra," She spoke after a moment or two of silence, "I know why you're angry. I get it. I really do, but please just hear me out."

"Why?"

"Shorty." Emmett muttered, and I shut up. He gave her a nod, glancing to me again.

"I know." She responded anyway, "You don't owe me anything. Least of all a second of your time, but.. I feel like I owe you this. An explanation. I owe you a lot more than this, but it's the least I can do. So.. Go ahead. Ask me anything, and I'll be as honest as possible with you. Anything you want to know, you'll know."

Well, that was tempting. She was putting me in control of where the explanation went. I didn't have to just sit there and let her talk at me.

I didn't want to blow this chance, so I hesitated. Slowly stepping over and sitting in the chair as I thought.

"I saw the video." I finally said, and she seemed confused, "The video. Dad showed me the videos of me as a baby." Almost numbly, she sat down on the end of the couch closest to me.

"Geez, I forgot he had that." She admitted quietly.

"What the fuck went so wrong?" I demanded, my tone sharper with emotion. She started to speak, but I spoke up again instead, "And don't give me this, 'well, things changed and it's hard to explain' bullshit. I'm not five years old. I want to know why you couldn't have just stayed with dad. Why did you have to ruin everything?"

She looked down.

"Tell me." I snapped.

"I'm trying." She replied, "Just let me.." She sighed, "Let me get these thoughts in order."

"It's not that hard." I didn't like her stalling, "Just tell me why. Why couldn't you just stay with dad? Why'd you trade him in?"

"He cheated on me, Leandra." She replied quickly, "_He_ traded _me_. I wanted nothing more than to make it work with your dad. I would have given anything to make it work with him. He was the one that decided to move on before I had any idea what was going on. He'd moved on before I knew it was over."

Oh. That shut me up briefly.

It certainly matched up with what my dad had always told me. He'd messed up. That was what he meant. It had to have been Rachel he'd gone to before they were divorced. Then a year and a half after they were divorced, Lily was born. At least he'd waited _that_ long to replace me.

I chose to file that away for later as my mom continued. Something happened as she spoke again. I actually listened.

I heard what she was saying to me, and I lost every bit of my bossiness as she gave me every detail I could have ever asked for regarding my early childhood. She explained to me the way things went south with my dad, and what Jack was doing in our lives at all in the beginning. The way my dad treated her had her cautiously looking, finding only Jack right at the worst possible time.

She told me how closely she watched him in the beginning, not seeing a thing wrong with the way he treated me. The steps, precautions she took during the divorce and when Jack first lived with us.

I had to agree. She did everything she could to see anything wrong with Jack before trusting him completely with me. She watched, she paid attention. She protected me from every possible scenario in the beginning. No part of me doubted this. Either she was a _very_ good liar, or this was a very intense true story.

Any story involving Jack was bound to be an intense one.

She told me how everything changed so quickly as soon as they were married. The morning she found out what Jack was really like, and the first fight. The way everything she thought she knew just turned on her.

At this point, I was completely entranced in listening to her story. I couldn't interrupt her now if I wanted to.

"He was suddenly so possessive." She told me, "Outright aggressive, angry, violently combative, and I was blind-sided by the sudden change of his personality. It left me stunned long enough for it to just keep getting worse. Left sitting there, wondering what happened while he set the mark for that to keep happening. I was.. Knocked down, and not just literally. Everything just.. Completely blew up in my face, and my guard was stuck down.

"This was more than punishment for threatening him. This was ownership, and not just of me, but everything I stood for. He had what he wanted right in his grip, and he was finally closing those fingers. To me, it felt like.. A switch had been flipped. Cage closed, or a trap snapped."

More than once, had I described it exactly like that. The way she described this was also very convincing. She still had the shocked and confused tone to her voice with the way she explained what it felt like, which told me she really understood the way this felt.

This was accurate. The exact amount of emotion emphasized her words, and that instinctively told me that this was accurate.

I just remember.." She paused for a light sniffle, "I remember wondering where the hell my strength went. Before Jack, I liked to consider myself pretty tough. I was sturdy, both physically and emotionally, but.. Jack was stronger. In every way. And it's my fault. It's my fault, baby."

I hated the way her tears made me want to cry. She needed a longer moment, and I watched her crumble to pieces. She knew what this felt like. She was speaking to me from experience and she felt what she was saying.

"I lost you long before I knew to stop fighting." She explained, voice tight and tears escaping from her eyes. This was hurting her to talk about. She went on, "But I still tried. I tried again to run with you, my second attempt that day, and I almost made it to the door, but I.. Wasn't fast enough. I was this close to getting out that door, but I wasn't fast enough. I should have been faster. I should have killed him when I had the chance. I should have seen it. I should never have trusted him."

I recognized all the 'should have's instantly.

I honestly hadn't considered the fact that my mom could be beaten too. I hadn't even tried to consider what her life must have been like before the point I could remember. I never tried, stuck in my hate for her, but now that I knew what all she went through, that changed.

"I tried, but no matter what I did, it only wound up worse for you. You have no idea what that did to me, Leandra." She paused for a moment, "I know.. I know I should have stayed away from Jack. I really should have seen it. I really.. I should have been smarter. I should have.." She trailed off for a few more tears of her own, and I glanced over at her. Looking back down as she looked to me again.

I could see that in the tears she now attempted to hide from me. When I didn't say anything, she continued.

"As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just pack you up right away and leave. Not with nowhere to go. No plan, no place to take you, no money to get there, no car to take us there. I had literally nothing, but the next try, I was going to just.. Leave, and never look back. I was going to leave you with Heather. I was going to beg her to take you in while I tried to figure out what to do with my own life."

Well, that changed things. That was something that really caught even more of my attention.

"You were going to leave me with Heather?" She would have done that?

"If I was going to be homeless, I wasn't dragging you with me." She explained, "I didn't want you in that situation. I knew she would take care of you, and she would protect you. I had almost no doubt that she would take you in, so I packed what I could carry with me, and I was going to take you there. I _knew_ I should have called her before I even did anything, just in case I didn't make it there. I never got that far."

"He caught you." I muttered, understanding.

"He did." She confirmed, "I was stupid. Careless. I should have made sure he wasn't home before trying what I tried, but he was. He was home, and he knew what I was doing the second he looked at me.

"That was the final attempt I made at leaving, and as hard as he beat me that night, it killed me to see him turn on you. You were being punished for my actions. I told him to leave you out of it. I begged him to just focus on me, but he knew that wouldn't be as effective at keeping me controlled.

"He knew I didn't care what happened to me. All he cared about was that you were the key to making me comply, and when he hit you because of what I'd done? Well, I couldn't handle that."

Silence followed for a moment or two. I didn't know what to say.

"With no hope," She finally sniffled, "With nothing left.. With no option left but to comply just so you didn't suffer even more, what could I do? I was forced to stay, but I was.. At the very end of my rope. Beaten down. The lowest I'd ever been in my life. I could either leave, or stay. I couldn't take you with me, even if I had the chance to, because no matter where or how far away I took you, Jack would find us and kill me anyway."

That certainly sounded accurate. I looked down, focusing on Hunter sitting there. He was beginning to fuss, and briefly, I hoped that didn't interrupt her story. She wasn't done. It couldn't end there. There had to be more.

From where he stood silently, Emmett reached down and took Hunter from my mom. Lifting him from her lap.

"He needs a change." My mom told him, probably knowing exactly why Hunter was unhappy.

"We should see about that then, shouldn't we?" Emmett asked the whining baby, "Play nice, shorty. I'll be right back." I wasn't planning on trying to pull anything, so I just nodded a little.

"Where was I?" She asked.

"Options." I sniffled.

"Right." She mumbled, "No matter how far I ran, he'd find us. Something told me that he was serious. I believed him."

I kept my eyes down.

"And I couldn't handle it." She admitted, "I couldn't handle staying, knowing what he was putting you through and being.. So completely helpless to stop it without making it so much worse. I couldn't handle that. I was.. So out of options, baby. I wasn't strong enough." Her pain in that last statement really made me want to cry as well. Oddly enough. She was begging, pleading with me to understand. Desperate to make me see.

"So I admit, I reached for the alcohol, and I never tried again." She went on, despite her own emotion, "I shouldn't have, but there was literally.. Nothing I could do to help you without hurting you even more. I could have run, and hoped he never found me, but I _knew_.. I couldn't keep you safe. That, out of everything, was the worst part of it. I knew I couldn't keep you safe, and that's what killed me."

She reached forward and gently took my cheeks between her hands. Oddly, I didn't fight. I just looked at her as she smoothed my cheeks with her hands. That just made me cry, because it was such a caring gesture. I was so conflicted, so confused. I believed her, but I also couldn't get passed what I remembered of her.

"No matter what he told you, baby, I never stopped loving you. I was young, stupid, and scared. I was alone, with nobody else in the world. I didn't know what to do, and that's my fault."

She cleared the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs, "I don't blame you for hating me, baby. Believe me, I hate myself. You have _no idea_ how much." I fought my own emotion at the sound of her firm tone. She meant every single word she said, "I hate myself every single day for not trying hard enough. I wasn't strong enough, and you paid the price. I will never forgive myself for that as long as I live."

She was definitely hurting. Now, I was too, and as much as I didn't want to be, I felt it.

I tried to fight it, but I couldn't hold back the sobs and I reached for her. She knew what I was doing and instantly accepted my hug. Gently pulling me forward and holding me across her lap in her arms.

I didn't forgive her. Far from it, but for the first time I could remember, she hugged me back. She held me, and she hugged me. She kissed my head, stroking my hair, softly smoothing the back of my head. She was a mother. I hugged her neck, and I cried. I cried for the way it hurt.

She was crying herself, I felt it, but that didn't keep her from telling me how much she loved me, and thanking me for giving her this. This chance to hold me again, just one more time. Gently rocking back and forth with me in her arms. I knew once she let me go, she wouldn't get another moment like this with me. I wouldn't let it happen.

How often had I needed this? I didn't forgive her, but that didn't stop me from recognizing what this was. As much as I hated her, I understood now, and understanding really opened the way for the emotion of having her there now.

As much as I hated her, I wasn't letting this moment pass. All my life, I had been stuck taking whatever I could get with her, because I didn't know when or if it'd be offered again. This was no different.

"Thank you." She murmured to me again, "Thank you, Leandra." I didn't bother replying. This was more for me than her. At least, that's the way I thought of it.

"You're safe here." She murmured against my head, "That's what matters to me. You've found it, baby. Everything I wanted for you, you've found it." Oddly, that just made me cry more, "I love you so much, baby girl. I've always loved you. No matter what happens from now until the end of time, I'll always love you. No matter what anybody has said, says, or will say in the future, I love you. You've been so strong. So brave."

She pulled back enough to look at me. Smoothing the tears from my cheeks again as I looked up at her. I could very clearly see her own pain in her eyes.

"You're my beautiful baby girl, no matter what, and all I ask.. Is just please never forget that. You're so strong. You're brave, and you deserve happiness. Never let go of that, okay?" I coughed through a few sobs, nodding.

"You hold onto that." She stressed, "No matter where your life takes you, hold onto what you've fought so hard to get."

I allowed myself to sit there as long as it took for both of us to calm down. This might have been mostly for me, but I had to see it through, or I'd always hate her. I'd taken a step today, and I knew that. A step forward.

I didn't look up, far too ashamed to do so as Emmett came back into the room. He didn't say anything, probably not wanting to discourage me. It was silent.

"Gina?" Alice's voice took my attention, though. I hadn't seen her all day, "Do you have a second?" I sighed, hesitantly moving, "You can stay there, Leandra." I paused before I could vacate her lap or arms, "She doesn't need to get up." I looked over as Alice stepped forward and sat in the open seat beside my mom. Jasper stood beside Emmett, just as silent as he was. Watching us.

Alice took a breath and lifted a large manila envelope out of her bag. It was puffy, and I briefly wondered what was inside of it.

"Do you remember what I said to you the day I met you?" Alice asked my mom, "About needing a boost now and then?"

"Of course." She replied, and confused, I looked between them, "I've never forgotten."

"Consider this," She patted the envelope, "A more effective boost. This is for you, and for Hunter. Everything you need is in here."

"Need for what?" I asked. I was even more confused as I moved off of my mom's lap. Standing up beside her. I was curious, watching as my mom hesitantly took the envelope from Alice. She opened it, peering inside. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, no." She said, "No, I can't. It's too much."

"It's already done." Alice replied, shaking her head a little, "It can't be undone."

"Really." My mom murmured, "I-I can't. This is.." She trailed off, shaking her head.

"What is it?" I asked, and they both glanced to me.

"A way out." Alice answered quietly, "A brand new start."

I slowly stepped over, peering over my mom's shoulder. Spotting exactly what had surprised her so much.

The first things to catch my eye inside the envelope, were two very thick stacks of cash. Nestled toward the bottom of the envelope. Two thick stacks of hundred-dollar bills. I didn't know how much was there, but I was assuming it was quite a bit.

Neatly against the side of the envelope, nothing creased or folded, were documents. The first document, on top of the thick stack of pages, looked like a birth certificate. Just below the cash, along the documents, were ID cards, and a few sets of keys.

"Wow." I mumbled.

"You now live in Sequim." Alice spoke, "In a nice little three bedroom house, in a wonderful neighborhood. You'll love it. I promise." She smiled, "It's got a plum tree." I laughed a little, but quickly stopped. I wasn't sure if a plum tree made any difference, but I didn't want to ask and seem like an ass.

My mom was speechless as Alice continued.

"He won't find you there." Alice assured her, "But you'll be close enough for us to help should you need it." Carefully, my mom dumped the keys inside the envelope into her hand, looking them over. Three keys to what looked like a house, but two I recognized as car keys.

"Everything is in your new name, so learn it." Alice added, "Everything you need is in there. ID cards, a drivers license, two copies of your birth certificate as well as Hunter's. Pass ports, should you ever need them, social security cards. Titles to your house and car, insurance papers. Everything." They'd sure been busy today.

"It's too much." My mom was very nearly in tears.

"Compared to what you've given us," Alice pointed out, gesturing to me, "This is nothing." Did Alice really think that? What Alice was handing my mom was so much more valuable than I ever could be. My mom had just landed face first into a new life. How could I compete with that?

Dumping the envelope further, the cards came out.

"What is this?" She asked, lifting what looked like a credit card.

"That card is how you get the rest of your money." Alice replied, "It gives you access to your bank account, with a fairly healthy deposit sitting in there." My mom blinked in surprise, looking at the blue card in her hand again.

She still seemed reluctant, so I spoke.

"Remember?" I murmured, and she looked to me, "Remember what you said? Opportunities. Take this one. Take the plum tree." She laughed, but the sound was mixed with a small sob. Reaching over, she took my hand. Holding it in her own, and giving it a soft squeeze as she looked over everything again.

I'd expected her to cry, and apparently, everyone else did as well, so her tears were no surprise. This was big. With her tears, I'd noticed, her cheeks flushed. Only emphasizing every bruise on her face.

"Okay." She finally said, "Alright." I had to smile a little. She was accepting it.

"When you leave here," Jasper instructed, "Make no stops. Go straight there."

"I'll be following you." Alice added, "Just to make sure you get there alright."

"And when you get there," Jasper went on, "You'll stay there for at least a few days. Don't even look out the window. For safety reasons." My mom numbly nodded, "It's fully furnished, and stocked with whatever you'll need. If you find anything you need but don't have, give one of us a call, and we'll get it for you, but all the house needs is you."

"All we ask, is that you use this chance wisely." Alice murmured, "Use this chance for what it is. A new start." She glanced to Hunter, sitting and babbling in Emmett's arm, "Consider yourself on your feet."

I now realized what Carlisle had been offering Alyssa's dad this whole time. Maybe not new names, but this was what he was trying for. I was standing here, witnessing someone's life changing so completely, and it really made me think about what all I'd been given myself.

As much as I knew I needed to get passed whatever resentment I still held toward my mom, witnessing this made me feel good. She was seeing for herself that life after Jack wasn't all that bad. Especially with a boost like this. She was being given more than a house, but a place to raise her son. Another chance, just like I'd been given. I had a feeling I knew what she was feeling right then.

Then again, her circumstances were a lot different than mine had been. Carlisle told me to think about what her side of this had to have been like. Now, that was all I could think about.

She wouldn't waste it. I knew that.

**A/N: This A/N section doesn't count for chapter length. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. GEEZ! This got long! I'm sorry. :(  
For having a lot of stuff to pack into one little space, I think I did a pretty good job (at least I hope I did) at keeping this chapter length pretty decent. A lot longer than my usual chapters, but that's okay. I was originally going to pull out the last scene here, but I thought I'd keep it in there, considering what this weekend is.**  
**THANK YOU! To those that found the time to review last chapter! THANK YOU! Your thoughts are amazing to read! :D**  
**Chapter Nine might take a few days, but hopefully not as long as this one took. I was very unsure about this one, weirdly enough.  
Until Nine, my friends! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: Wow. I haven't had to put one of these up in awhile.  
Not so happy descriptions later. Proceed cautiously if you're squeamish and/or sensitive to mentions/thoughts of violence.**

**Chapter Nine**

Who knew all I'd need was an explanation? I didn't even realize how much I'd need an explanation like that, before I would even try to work on the pain left in me by my mother's actions. Her actions had effected me as much as Jack's had, and she knew that. She wasn't trying to deny that what she'd done had hurt me. She was acknowledging it in a way I hadn't even known that I needed her to acknowledge it.

I hadn't wanted to understand, because as far as I was concerned, there was no explanation she could give that would be enough to justify what she'd done. Until she actually gave me the one that did. I'd cried for her, and for me. Like everything that had gone wrong in our lives led back to one single day. One moment, one meeting. One conversation, one look.

Had that one look never happened, everything would be completely different. I knew that, and she did too. She understood that in a way that I did. She might not have been aware of her gift, the one I'd inherited from her, but she could use it. She just didn't know that that's what it was. She probably considered it intuition or something, like I used to.

I didn't forgive her. I refused to forgive her, and she wasn't asking me to, but we'd reached some shaky new level of common ground, and for now, that was more than enough for her.

All of us out on the porch that evening were silent as we watched my mom and Alice leave. They were headed to Sequim, where my mom would spend the next week or so stuck in the house. Once that week of isolation was over, she had a job lined up for her, and a very reputable babysitter waiting to start working. I couldn't help being surprised at just how many things they'd thought of.

I didn't know my mom's new name. I didn't need to. I didn't care. Alice and Jasper were both confident that the steps they'd taken would be enough to keep Jack from finding her. I wasn't sure how they could guarantee him never to find her, but my mom trusted them. I shouldn't have been as doubtful as I was, but I couldn't help it. Jack could find anybody anywhere.

My mom also knew that never in a million years would she ever have another chance with me. That ship had sailed long ago, and I wasn't looking for any type of relationship with her. Nobody seemed to mind that, and they weren't trying to push that on me either, but I could see why they wanted me to just listen.

In a way, I felt bummed out. Not quite depressed, but down. Sad for the way things turned out. Disappointed, and it was a shame. A big shame the way things turned out. If one thing had been done differently, it never would have turned out like this. That was a sad realization, but that didn't change anything. I still stood there with Esme, her arm around my shoulders, knowing full well that here was where I'd stay.

Maybe I was bummed for the fact that both my parents were moving on now. My dad had a brand new daughter, plus Lily. My mom had Hunter now. I knew if they'd even tried to convince me to want to go with them, I'd still say no, but nobody tried. I was just the product of a horrible time in both their lives. Something not meant to be alive. Just a reminder of everything that went wrong.

Even if I'd wanted to go with them, I doubted they'd want me.

I hugged onto Esme's arm around me, and as much as I wanted to keep feeling betrayed by what my family had done, they were all I had. I took comfort in the fact that someone wanted me. Even with how bad of a person I was, someone wanted me.

I took a breath the second they were gone, looking up at Esme. It was tough, but she seemed to understand. I could see how Carlisle had been right, but I was also clinging hard to my opinion of it all. I blamed my mother less, but I still hated her. I was still hurt by it all, and I knew that'd take some time to fade. If it did at all.

"Well.." Emmett spoke up, "That went well."

"No it didn't." I muttered, a soft edge of bitterness in my tone, "I'm glad she's gone."

"Come on, shorty." He sighed, "Don't be like that." From further on the porch, both Jasper and Carlisle descended the steps to stand in the yard now.

"I can be whatever way I want to be." I replied, "Just because I know what happened now doesn't mean I don't hate her for putting me through that."

I appreciated the way Esme only hugged me tighter. She wasn't mad at me for the way I thought. Nobody seemed to be. They only seemed as bummed as I was, but for a different reason.

"Are you hungry?" Esme asked me, and I shook my head. Not especially. I felt more sick than hungry, which surprised absolutely no one.

"I think I'll just go to bed." I mumbled.

"Before you can see Mikah again?" Emmett asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I'm not too sure about that, to be honest." Jasper spoke up, "I don't like it. He's not human anymore." He'd obviously been filled in enough.

"I _know_ he's not human anymore." I rolled my eyes a little.

Jasper sighed, "I don't know about this. I really don't."

"Don't make him leave." I mumbled, "I'll follow whatever rule you want. Just don't make him leave."

"Aw.." Emmett chuckled, "Have a heart."

"I do." He replied, "That's why I'm worried. I don't want anything to happen to her. Watching their interaction is going to be a huge responsibility. Something else we can't afford to focus on, when we've already got so much to worry about. Having anyone else, much less a newborn around will only be a problem."

"Can we not talk about me like I'm a pug?" Mikah's approaching voice had me smiling a little across the yard at the trees, "I promise not to tear up the carpet."

"We can make this work." Emmett insisted, "When was the last time you saw her smile like that?" I hadn't even noticed how I smiled now. Mikah stepped from the trees, slowing to a stop before he could get too close.

"Hello, princess." Mikah smiled a little. Cole followed him out of the trees, looking around a bit. They probably waited until they were sure it was completely clear before showing up.

Jasper eyed both of them, obviously distrustful. Esme only hugged me, but she seemed a little nervous as well.

"Cole." Carlisle greeted, "Thank you for being so patient."

"Of course." Cole replied, "I can see that our presence makes some uncomfortable, however."

"They just don't know you yet." I spoke up, and Jasper glanced over at me. I looked over at him, "Cole is the one that saved me." That detail seemed to remind him, as Jasper looked to them again.

"You helped her?" Jasper asked, needing confirmation.

"I did." Cole gave a nod.

"Why?" He asked, "What was in it for you?" I frowned over at him, but Esme lifting me off my aching ankle kept me from telling him off. Why was Jasper being such an ass?

"She's grown on me." Cole admitted, "And I didn't see anyone else able to help her, so I thought I'd step in."

"That'd be my doing." Mikah confessed, "I'd known Rosalie was in New York for awhile, but when they brought Leandra there, I couldn't help it. I couldn't lose her. Cole was curious himself, so we did a bit of following. I knew if we followed you, you'd lead us to her."

I smiled again, and Mikah returned it.

"If us being here makes you uncomfortable," Mikah went on, "We'll leave. Of course we'll leave, but I won't be far. Leandra is as close to my family as I can get, and I'm not letting her go no matter how long I have to wait."

"Oh." Esme seemed convinced, given her smile.

Jasper sighed, looking to Carlisle. It was Carlisle's call, and I knew that. Jasper couldn't make them leave if Carlisle didn't want them to leave.

"We only wish to help." Cole spoke, "To assist in any way we can."

"Carlisle," Jasper murmured, "He's a newborn."

"I'll watch shorty, then." Emmett muttered.

"No babysitting on me." I told him, and he chuckled, "You weigh like a million pounds."

"Are you calling me fat?" He asked.

"Not fat." I said, "But big." He gave me a look, "Look at me. No contest."

"No contest." Cole chuckled.

"Set whatever rules you want." Mikah added, still speaking to Jasper, "If there's one thing I've learned so far, it's discipline. I can approach a human now without killing them, and I know my own limits. I'm not leaving her. Especially with the threat against her."

"We can handle that threat." Jasper argued, "She doesn't need any extra protection."

"What about happiness?" Mikah asked, "Does she need that?" That seemed to shut him up. Mikah sighed, "Even I could see how bad she's suffered. She's changed, it was easy to see, but that changed when she looked at me."

"You weren't there." Emmett pointed out, "You didn't see her when she first saw him, Jasper. Hell, look at her now." Jasper looked to me, as everyone else did. I wasn't sure if they could just see how different I felt, but they obviously could.

"Let her keep this." Emmett requested, "Come on."

With a sigh, Jasper looked down. Obviously thinking about it. Nobody said anything for a moment, and I knew it'd be preferable for everyone to be on board with this before making any final decisions. It just meant a lot to Carlisle, because this was a decision that affected everyone.

Giving two strangers permission to hide out here just because I'd known one of them as a human was a big thing. It meant splitting their attention yet again, just when things were starting to settle down.

Jasper finally sighed again and looked to Carlisle.

"Alright." Jasper muttered, "But I'd like to set the rules."

"You're welcome to stay." Carlisle spoke, and I smiled again as Cole nodded. I couldn't help it. Carlisle spoke again, "However, to be fair, I think that Jasper should be the one to set the rules. Perhaps that will make him feel a bit better about this."

"Whatever he says," Mikah agreed, "I'll agree with. As long as he doesn't make me leave her. Anything else."

"No contact." Jasper immediately said, "Whatsoever. You'll come no closer than twenty feet of her at all times, but never without one of us around. Am I clear?" There went the possibility of a hug any time soon, but I could live with that.

"Crystal." Mikah replied.

"Cole may approach." Jasper added, "But keep it brief."

"Of course." Cole agreed, nodding, "I wouldn't want to risk her safety any more than you would." That seemed to ease Jasper even more.

"We'll discuss the finer details later." Jasper told them, as he turned his firm gaze to Mikah, "Until then, you move closer than those twenty feet, you lose your arms. I do mean that." His tone left little doubt whether or not he meant it. He was scary when he wanted to be.

"Agreed." Mikah nodded, but I winced. I didn't like Jasper threatening him like that, but if it got his point across, Jasper wasn't afraid to do so. Giving a nod of his own, he seemed satisfied enough with that.

"I believe we need to have a conversation." Carlisle added.

"I agree." Cole replied.

I stopped listening to them, however. My eyes on Mikah. Without the sheet of rain, it was easier for me to see him. Despite being only a step or two closer than he was in the trees, I could see him clearer.

I looked over at Esme from where I sat in her arm.

"Can we move closer?" I asked her, "Just a little bit."

She went as far as where Carlisle stood toward the center of the yard, and that was fine with me. I accepted that. I could talk to Mikah easier, but we were still a comfortable distance away. I didn't want to push that twenty-foot rule so soon.

I looked to Mikah again.

"I listened to her." I told him, and he smiled, "To my mom."

"I'm proud of you, princess." Mikah replied, "See? Was it so bad?"

"I never knew any of that stuff before." I admitted, "I guess I just never thought about it like that."

"I admit, I overheard." He said, "This Jack.. He sure sounds like a swell guy." I looked down, "Someone I would love to meet."

"You and me both." Emmett replied.

"How was this Ken guy involved?" Mikah asked. Hesitantly, I looked up at Emmett.

"He was Jack-ass's dad." Emmett explained for me, "Just as swell of a guy."

"And he was after her too?" Mikah asked.

"Yeah." Emmett sighed, "One down, but still one to go. He wasn't there in Seattle when we dropped by, but it's not like we can just go there every day to keep checking."

"Huh." Mikah muttered, frowning, "Where's this place at?"

"Don't even think about it." I immediately said.

"Why not?" Mikah asked.

"Because the whole city is crawling with newborns, remember?" I pointed out incredulously.

"Hello?" He asked, gesturing to himself, "Newborn. It'd be a piece of cake."

"Like they don't know who's supposed to be there and who's not." I muttered sarcastically, "They won't like you being there."

"She's got a point." Emmett pointed out.

"Nobody's going anywhere just yet." Cole told him, having overheard, "Hold your horses, boy, and don't get cocky. It's just as dangerous for you as it is for them."

"Thank you." I muttered.

Mikah looked to Cole, "You're bossy, you know that? You didn't have to tell her that."

"It's my job to be bossy." Cole countered, "And she obviously already knew. Now just wait."

"New subject." I sighed, "Before Mikah gets sent to his room." Beside me, Emmett started to laugh.

"I don't have a room."

"That must suck." I muttered, "Living outside?"

"Nah." Mikah replied, crouching again, "It's better than you'd think."

"Why?" I asked, "What's so good about it?"

"For one," He replied, "I can smell a whole lot more than I could inside somewhere. Just the other day, in fact, we crossed a scent.. Oh, man. I never thought anything could smell _too_ much. I don't even know _what_ that was."

"You must have smelled the wolves." Emmett chuckled, "They stink, right?"

"That was no wolf I smelled." Mikah laughed as well, shaking his head, "Maybe a wolf that's been sprayed by four skunks, died and then rotted in the sun for three days."

"Ew." I crinkled my nose.

"No, I lie." Mikah muttered, "_That_ would smell better than whatever the hell we came across. All I know, is I don't want to smell it again."

"Sounds like you need some lessons." Emmett pointed out, "There are some places around here that you need to stay clear of."

"Noted." Mikah replied, "I have no problem with staying away from a scent like that. Stopped us right in our tracks, and had us turning right around."

I wanted to keep paying attention, but my ankle was really starting to ache. Looking over, I caught Esme's attention. She understood.

"Do you need to sit down?" She asked. Meaning, to rest my leg without it hanging there. I hesitated, looking over at Mikah again.

"You okay?" Mikah noticed anyway.

"I'm wounded, remember?" I replied, "It hurts after awhile."

"Right." He sighed, "I guess I forgot about that part of being human already."

"Lucky you." I sighed, and he smiled a little.

"Sorry." He told me, "Anything I can do?"

"I gotta sit." I replied, "Come closer." I still wasn't sure if that was allowed, but when Jasper only glanced over and didn't protest out loud, I had a feeling it was okay. As long as the twenty-foot rule was followed, he was allowing it.

With that, Esme laughed a little and turned. Carrying me toward the porch, and the padded bench I knew she wanted me to sit on. I didn't protest now that Mikah followed. Emmett keeping close watch on him, of course, but more in a friendly way. Like he'd only get mean if he had to. Unlike Jasper, who seemed like he was just waiting for an excuse to drop kick Mikah back into the trees.

Mikah only got as close as the middle of the yard, and with me comfortably on the porch now, it seemed to be a good enough distance. Wincing a little, I massaged my ankle. Ken had really done a number on it by how hard he pulled on it, and I could tell by now that it would take a bit longer to heal than a day or two.

"Would you be willing to eat something?" Esme asked me, "So I can give you something for the pain?"

"Nothing that makes me tired." Was my only request. I wouldn't tolerate that very well. That was my agreement, and she nodded a little with a smile.

"Better?" Mikah asked as I looked to him again.

"Not really." I mumbled, "But it will be. I'll live."

"Anything else I can do?" He asked.

"Never leave again?" I suggested, and his smile just grew.

"I'll do what I can, princess." He said, "I'll have to leave eventually, but I'll come back."

"Right." I remembered, "Hunting."

"Can't take risks when watching humans, you know." He replied, "That'd be dangerous, and I refuse to put anybody I care about in danger like that. That's the first thing I learned." Jasper glanced over again.

"I know." I nodded a little, "Just as long as you come back. I mean, you can _leave. _You're not on a leash, but you can't leave for good."

"Oh boy, that image." Emmett chuckled to himself.

"I couldn't leave for good." Mikah chuckled as well.

I needed to warm up, so I understood the blanket Esme brought out to me. I bundled myself in it, grateful for it. Mikah stuck to the twenty-foot rule religiously, chatting with me seemingly without a hitch.

A sandwich had been brought out for me, and I didn't resist it. Eating almost without even thinking about it. Where I'd refused it before, I didn't even bother to now. It just didn't even cross my mind to. Once the sandwich was gone, I was given plain Aspirin for the pain, taking it easily. Sitting was also helping in that department, though.

Alice returned, and for a moment, I worried that she'd be as unhappy about them being here as Jasper was. She greeted Mikah warmly, however, honestly happy to do so. She seemed to be the one besides me most happy to see him, hugging him like a friend. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that I was happy he was here, and she knew what he'd meant to me.

She greeted Cole the same way, thanking him immediately for being the one that saved me the way he did. It seemed to surprise Cole, as nobody had greeted him that way yet, but he wasn't unhappy about it.

"How'd it go?" Esme asked as Alice found an open spot on the bench next to me.

"They're all set." Alice replied, "Just like I said she would, she loved the house."

"I'm glad." Esme nodded a little, smoothing my hair with a sigh, "After the life she's had, I think she deserves it." I bit my lip, hiding my mouth behind the blanket. I didn't want to accidentally say anything.

"How did I not notice anything strange?" Mikah asked, and I glanced up. He was obviously referring to Alice, Esme and myself. It was obvious to him now that I was the only human around here, but he'd never noticed it while human himself.

"We're pretty careful." Alice laughed a little, "And humans are very unobservant."

"Most humans." He agreed, "Leandra isn't."

"She has her moments." She replied, looking to me. I gave her a look, confused. It wasn't that I disagreed, but the way she said that made me think there was something I was missing. She smiled a little in response to my look, but I was suspicious now.

"Am I missing something?" I finally asked.

"Nothing important." Alice replied, but I doubted it.

"You know I never believe you when you smile like that." I pointed out, "Why do you keep trying?"

"Because I'm hoping one day it'll work." She said, reaching over and covering my toes a little better with the blanket, and I laughed a little.

"I pay too much attention to not notice." I reminded her, "It's what I do."

Looking to Mikah again, though, his gaze was off to the side and he seemed unhappy about something. I realized quickly what was making him unhappy. He was listening to the conversation between the others and Cole further off in the yard. I couldn't hear what exactly was being said, but I knew it wasn't anything good. Nothing involving me was anything good.

"Sorry." I spoke up, and he looked to me again, "Now you know why I never really told you anything about where I came from."

He shook his head, "I knew it was nothing good, but I never knew it was _that_ bad."

"I didn't want to tell you." I replied, "Because there's a lot to it."

"I'm gathering that." He murmured, "Princess, I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to feel sorry for me." I shook my head a little, looking down. I felt sorry enough for me.

"I mean I'm sorry for what happened to you." He said, "There's a difference. To know you've suffered so much already, and that it's not even over yet, well.. That bothers me. A lot. It's not right."

"I know." I sighed, "But like you said. I'm still here."

"You're still here." He confirmed with a small nod, "You've got to be the strongest person I know."

"No." I said immediately, "I'm not strong. What's strong about a person that runs away from something they're afraid of?"

"When that person ran, despite knowing what the punishment for running would be, that's strong." Alice pointed out.

"Well, that wasn't strong either." I denied, "It was stupid."

"Now that I don't believe." Mikah replied.

"We've been over this, Leandra." Alice sighed, "You made the best decision you could have made given the situation. You're here now. How it happened doesn't matter."

"You should listen to your family, princess." Mikah smiled, "They know what they're talking about."

"I do listen." I argued, frowning a little.

"She's reached the age where no matter what we try to tell her, it goes in one ear and out the other." Alice explained, "Unless it confirms something she believes, nothing else sticks."

"Not all the time." I muttered, embarrassed now.

"Most of the time." Alice argued.

"I remember that." Mikah chuckled, "If the way Sammy is still stuck in that phase is any indication, that won't go away until she's at least sixteen. It'll only get worse from here. Imagine her as a teenager."

"I try not to." Alice admitted, laughing along with him.

"You're supposed to be on my side." I muttered at him.

"What makes you think I'm not?" He asked, "Helping them understand you better is helping you, princess." He had a point there, "I practically raised four younger siblings since they were born. I think I have more than enough experience to give a little advice."

"But you don't have that much experience with someone my age." I pointed out, "Just Alyssa, and she's the first you had to deal with. Sammy doesn't count, because he's way different than Alyssa or me."

"Touche." He smiled, "But I can still give advice, can't I?"

"I'm not saying you can't." I shook my head a little, "Just that you can't know any more than my family does about me, because you only have as much experience as they do."

"See what I mean?" Alice laughed a little.

"I do." Mikah nodded, "You've got to admit, though. It takes a lot to argue the way she does."

"Oh, without a doubt." She agreed, "It's very frustrating."

"But entertaining for the rest of us." Emmett added, and I laughed this time.

"Until it's you I argue with." I countered.

"True." He allowed.

"You've just got to get into her head." Mikah explained, "Think the way she thinks, or at least try to. Listen to what she says, turn it around, and see where that gets you. You saw the way I did it earlier."

"That usually shuts me up." I agreed, nodding a little.

"Is that all it is?" Emmett asked, "It's that easy?"

"Pretty much." Mikah and I both replied at the same time, and I laughed. Mikah spoke again, "Not only is it effective, but pretty entertaining in itself, and keeps that frustration level to a minimum."

"I'm definitely going to try that." Emmett chuckled, looking at me.

"Doesn't mean it's going to work." I countered, "I'm good at arguing."

"That's not something to brag about." Alice muttered to me.

"Yeah it is." I replied, "It's something I never got to do before."

"What do you mean?" Mikah asked.

"Think I'd still be breathing if I argued with Jack the way I do here?" I asked, "I think I've gotten pretty good at it while I've been here."

"You've got a lot to say." Mikah nodded a little, "You always have. I just never fully understood before."

I laughed a little, "Now you know why I called you an asshole the day I met you."

He laughed as well, obviously reminded.

"That's right," He chuckled, "You did, didn't you?"

"You said I was seven." I reasoned with my own laugh.

"I was only going by my observation." He explained, "You were small, and on your own. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Definitely not say she's seven." Emmett pointed out, "You're lucky she didn't hit you."

"I wanted to." I muttered, much to everyone else's amusement.

It had been a busy day for me. A busy last couple of days. I wasn't surprised that I was so tired after enduring everything I'd endured, and seated sideways the way I was, leaning back against Esme's side with her arm resting around me, I was comfortable. Content, and it felt really good to rest my eyes closed.

I wasn't falling asleep or anything. Just snoozing really, listening to everyone talk. It had been awhile since I'd felt like this. Despite the threats still out there, against myself and against my family, and despite the events of the last couple of days, I was okay. I had a feeling that it had almost everything to do with the fact that Mikah was standing several feet away. Someone I'd missed so much was standing just over there, and that made everything okay. At least for right then.

I was eased. The normal nervousness stopped turning my stomach, settling my nerves, soothing my emotions like some sort of blanket. I knew it was all in my mind, but I didn't care. I didn't care one bit, and I accepted it, because I didn't dare expect it to last.

I was awake enough to protest the second I heard talk of me getting to bed, much to their amusement. I got an extra hour to sit out there, but after that, I couldn't stay awake anymore.

It really wasn't a surprise when I woke up only a few hours later, nightmares still fresh in my mind. Most involving Ken, and what happened the other day. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad. I'd had a lot worse than these ones, but it was still bad in its own way. It still caused me enough pain to cry about it.

I shook with tension, clinging to Esme as I struggled to calm down. I felt sick, like just remembering what Ken had made me drink wanted to turn my stomach.

"Does this happen a lot?" I finally looked up at Mikah's voice in the doorway. I wasn't sure if they'd let him in, or if he'd just come running. Given the way Jasper stayed beside him, it made me question.

"This is nothing." Emmett answered quietly after a moment, "Usually it takes her over an hour at least before she's this calm on her own."

Though I was embarrassed now, having Mikah see this for the first time, I didn't let it get to me too much. I just looked down again, taking another deep breath.

"It wasn't that bad this time." I mumbled, my voice quiet in left over emotion.

"That was pretty bad, princess." He frowned, worried.

"Not when compared to other nights." Jasper replied.

"What was it about, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I immediately looked down again. I hated this part of calming down. Not because I didn't want them to ask, but because I didn't want to upset them by answering.

But then I remembered. Honesty. It went both ways, and if I wanted them to be honest with me, I had to make my own effort.

"Ken." I finally mumbled, "When he sat on me."

"He _sat_ on you?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"Didn't my mom tell you what happened?"

"All she said was that he pinned you." He explained, "But he _sat_ on you?" I nodded a little.

"He couldn't pin me without doing that." I replied, "I fought him as hard as I could. So he had to sit on me to keep me down."

"Hell yeah." Emmett said, and I looked up, "That's the fight I'm talking about."

"It didn't do much good." I said, "It just made him mad enough to hit me, _and_ I couldn't breathe." As if reminded, I took a deep breath. Something I couldn't do before.

"It did plenty of good." Mikah spoke, and I looked to him next, "You gave him a fight. You bought yourself time enough for Cole to get there."

"It's just like before." Emmett said, "You did what you had to do to last as long as you could. He's right, shorty. You bought yourself time."

"I don't see it that way." I mumbled, shaking my head a little.

"Then look at it another way." Mikah replied.

Jasper sighed, "Mikah-"

"Just watch." Emmett interrupted him with a grin, "Take notes."

"You're not even eleven years old yet." Mikah went on, his gaze on me, "You can't base your physical strength on being overpowered by someone forty years older, almost three times your weight and over two feet taller than you. Do you even realize how unfair that is to you?"

I shook my head, but he spoke up again, "Don't shake your head at me, missy." Try as I did, I couldn't help smiling at his tone. Just a little smile, but it was enough for him to notice, chuckling as well, "I see that. I'm right, and you know it."

I turned away, trying to hide it.

"That self-doubt is going to be your downfall. We're all dealt our lumps of coal, princess. What you choose to do with it can turn into something beautiful, but if you keep that mentality.. Telling yourself that nothing you do is ever right or enough.. You'll spend the rest of your life clutching coal."

I looked over, meeting his gaze for a moment or two. He smiled at me, laughing a little.

"You've got this." He assured me, "Stop making yourself the underdog." I looked back down, taking a breath. I wanted to believe him so bad. Glancing back up, Mikah was gone. I knew my scent was probably bothering him, so I didn't hold it against him.

I sniffled, but it was only left over. Oddly, I felt okay again. Of course, not particularly cheerful, but I was okay. Settling into Esme's arms again, the comforting embrace only helping further.

Esme had been the first one I'd admitted absolutely anything to. The first day I met her, I admitted to her the tiny detail of how long I'd gone without eating. Maybe that was the reason she was the only one allowed to hold me like this? I didn't know, but I did know I appreciated the way she would hold me.

With a chuckle, Emmett gave Jasper a look.

"Get it?" Emmett asked him.

"I'm starting to." Jasper replied, glancing up the hall, probably in the direction Mikah had gone. To my surprise, he sounded concerned.

"That kid is a genius when it comes to getting through to shorty." Emmett added, "It's like he still speaks her language."

"I don't have a language." I muttered defensively, but he did have a point. He could probably tell me the exact same things my family says, and make it stick. The things he says and the way he says those things were perfect for getting through to me.

I didn't care if whatever Mikah was able to do for me was all in my head. I'd enjoy it for however long it lasted.

It lasted awhile.

Even I could see how much better I was doing after that night. Showing up as often as I could outside, to find Mikah approaching as soon as I stepped through the door. Keeping careful distance, but close enough to talk to. That was all I wanted. He made it so easy to distract myself with all the good parts of conversation. Effortlessly moving from one topic to another. Perfectly prompting me to continue talking with carefully placed responses or questions. Alice should really have been taking notes.

But unlike Alice, Mikah led the discussion in a positive direction. Not asking anything whatsoever about what my past entailed, but allowing me to have a say in where that subject went. Letting me admit what I wanted to admit, and avoid what I wanted to avoid. Without even trying. I didn't need Jasper's help to talk.

As if he'd never been gone, I just went on and on. Just talking like I used to, but instead of having to pay attention to running a small store, he was patiently crouched in the yard, listening intently.

I knew my babysitters were probably getting bored, but whoever watched me never complained. It was usually Emmett doing the babysitting, so he just joined in the conversation, listened to a discussion inside the house, or sat quietly, listening as intently to me as Mikah was.

I ate better, I started sleeping better, days passed better. Just by being able to talk to him again. I felt less tired, less worn down. I felt lighter, less weighed down. He still had it. The way of looking at things in a different direction, and showing me how to as well. I wasn't sure how it looked to my family, as nobody brought it up much, but I felt like I'd turned around.

I didn't see Mikah as a vampire. It wasn't that I was stuck as seeing him as a human, the way I knew him before, but I didn't see him as anything different. I still saw him as my best friend, and I knew for a fact that that bothered Jasper to no end. Even without him saying anything, I knew it bothered him.

We stuck to his rules, but he wasn't eased the way everyone else seemed to be. He paid attention. Close attention to Mikah, and it made me nervous.

Edward, meeting Mikah for the first time, had the same distrust as Jasper at first, but he slowly warmed up to him the more he got to know his thoughts. Edward had never actually met Mikah as a human.

All he knew of Mikah, was what he'd gotten from the family's thoughts. Now that he got to know him, he was just as supportive of Mikah being here as Emmett or I was. To my relief, he overwhelmingly approved. It really didn't take long for Mikah to gain Edward's approval. A few good conversations, and he had it.

Cole and Carlisle talked extensively. I had no idea what they had to talk about so much, besides the situation in Seattle, but I didn't exactly ask, either. I was happy enough with getting to talk to Mikah.

My ankle healed after only a few more days, and though it still ached now and then when I rested it, I could stand on it again without an issue. I didn't need it wrapped anymore. My bruises had faded significantly, hardly noticeable now.

Before I even knew it, the day of their high school graduation arrived. Mikah and Cole would have to hide that night, but the talk I'd had with Mikah late into the night the night before was possibly enough to get me through the day. I could always hope.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wear the dress until the party after the graduation. During the actual thing, I could just wear my normal jeans and a nice shirt. I didn't mind that so much. Alice had given me two pairs of the things she called 'leggings'. It made it a whole lot more tolerable to wear that dress, I had to admit. With those, I hoped I'd just feel like it was just a really long t-shirt. With no sleeves.

Dreading later, I climbed out of the back seat of Carlisle's car in the crowded high school parking lot, closing the door behind me and letting him take my hand. He rounded the car with me to Esme's side.

Since Mikah's return, I'd been in a much better mood, and because of my better mood, the whole family seemed to be in a better mood. Because of Mikah lightening my mood, it lightened the mood of everyone else significantly. I hadn't even realized before how much my struggling had added to the stress.

And because I was in a better mood, it made everything else seem easier to handle. Like the dark cloud over us had faded, letting me see a way we could get through this. It made it even easier to breathe. I had yet to fully forgive Carlisle for choosing my mom's side, but it was getting better.

I just didn't quite understand why I continued to hold a grudge against Carlisle when everyone else had done the same thing. It wasn't fair, and I did understand that, but it was harder to let it go.

It was pretty cold today, even in late May nearly June, but I knew we wouldn't be spending too much time outside. Carefully stepping around a puddle, I followed Carlisle easily toward the auditorium. He patiently stayed with me as I avoided getting my shoes wet.

Once inside, I looked around at all the people already here. Instantly stepping closer to his side at just how packed it was. Most of the town had to be there. Apparently, people graduating was a very big deal.

"Wow." I mumbled, "I sort of wish I stayed home with Emmett."

"You'll be fine." Carlisle assured me with a slight chuckle. Me being uncomfortable around so many people was nothing new. I'd always been this way. For as long as Carlisle had known me, being stuck in the middle of so many people I didn't know made me deeply uncomfortable. He found us seats closer to the front, Esme to his left, me to his right.

It was easier to bear once we were sitting. I was stationary, able to look around a little better, and I did so curiously. There were so many people here, I was surprised to find I recognized several of the other kids in the seats all around us. A few finding a group to sit together at. Kids I used to go to school with. They must have had older siblings graduating.

The difference more than a year could make surprised me. Several minutes passed this way, with me just watching these kids, until Carlisle spoke up again.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Just looking." I murmured in reply, "I know those kids." I nodded toward the group of five or six kids a few rows to my right. They hadn't noticed me yet, thankfully. Allowing me to get my look without having to hope that they didn't try to talk to me.

"Why don't you try talking to them?" He offered, and immediately, I shook my head.

"I hated them." I replied quietly, "I still do." He hugged me into his side with a sigh while I kept my eyes on them. Imagining what it would be like to burn them alive, or to stab them repeatedly with a sharpened pencil. Anywhere I could reach, I'd stab.

I had to picture that. How much blood there would be if I were to stab them. It might be a little hard at first, but if I put enough effort behind it, I knew I could do it. I also pictured what setting them on fire would be like. That one definitely sounded like the most entertaining option.

I revisited the option of burying them alive, which also sounded like a good idea. In a tiny box, just cramming them all in there, throwing dirt on the box, and leaving them for a week. They'd all definitely be dead by then. Of course they'd all beg for their lives, probably crying or peeing themselves, but I'd just ignore that.

Or, I smiled wider, I could just stab them all a little bit. Not enough to kill them, and then cram them all in a box, then light that box on fire. Put the fire out for a little while, just so they thought they would get to live, and then light it again. Keep doing that until they all ran out of air.

I laughed to myself at that one, and Carlisle looked down at me. Slowly, from where he sat with the others graduating, Edward turned around, and looked straight at me. An incredulous frown on his face. I met his gaze, and my smile instantly faded as I looked down.

Whoops. He'd heard that. I'd have to answer for that later, no doubt. Edward gave me a nod, and I sighed.

Oh well, I thought at him. It was worth it. His eyes narrowed a bit, and he turned back around. Shaking his head a little.

"What was that about?" Esme asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled, but my smile returned.

Once it actually got going, it was easy to almost ignore everyone around me, and it actually didn't take that long. Just all the clapping and noise around me at each name called got to me a little bit. Making me edgy, because I wasn't used to it, but I grit my teeth and dealt with it.

Some old lady sitting behind me wore too much perfume that was making my stomach turn, and I felt too warm around all these people. Being packed this close to them, where any of them could reach me if they wanted to, I wanted to run. It was stupid to feel this way, but I couldn't help it. This was hard on me.

I couldn't wait to get out of the auditorium when it was over, but by holding my hand, Carlisle ensured I did have to wait. Not letting me run on ahead. With the group trying to leave all at once, I could see why. Even after waiting, we still wound up in a tight packed group filing toward the door.

He eventually had to lift me, because I was about to bite the person next to me as he kept bumping into me. I didn't appreciate strangers pushing me over. Even unintentionally. I was small, so there was a good chance he didn't even know I was here.

With Carlisle holding me, I could see above the sea of people, which made it a little easier to breathe without panicking.

"You're doing great, Leandra." Carlisle assured me, which made me feel a little better, but not by much. At least he thought so.

Out in the parking lot, it was even more crowded, because the graduates had come out to greet friends and family. Packing together. We found Jasper and Alice waiting by the car, but the fresh air only relieved me enough to cry a little. Nothing huge, just a few tears, but it was enough to gain their attention.

"Being stuck around all those people got to her." Esme explained quietly. Alice sighed and pulled me from Carlisle, holding me in her own arms.

"What am I going to do with you?" She asked, and I looked down, "You know, I've never asked you, and I'm rather curious now. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Me?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you." She laughed a little. I pursed my lips a little in thought.

"Alive." I answered, and her expression softened.

"That's not what I mean." She told me, and I shrugged.

"That's what I want to be." I said, "I want to be alive. I haven't thought about much else, I guess."

She gave a glance to Carlisle, a sad smile on her face.

"How did she do?" Jasper asked, looking to Carlisle, "There were a lot of people in there."

"The lady behind me stunk." I mumbled, and he looked to me, "And I think Edward is mad at me."

"Why would he be mad at you?" Alice asked, surprised.

"I'm not mad at you, Leandra." I turned, looking back at Edward's voice approaching, "I'm concerned."

"Why?" Jasper asked this time.

"Because of what I was thinking in there." I answered, "I wanted to set some people on fire." They all looked to me again, just as surprised as Edward seemed to be, "Or stab them. With a pencil until they bled to death. Maybe both. As long as they don't die too quickly. I've got to figure that part out-"

"Now picture that," Edward murmured, interrupting me, "But imagined in alarming detail."

I smiled again, thinking about it, and Edward looked to them pointedly. How easily I admitted this also seemed to bother them. Alice and Jasper both shared a glance.

"I'd probably have to keep sharpening the pencil, though." I muttered, "Or risk trying to stab with a dull pencil, and that probably wouldn't work." I paused, "It'd hurt a whole lot, though. Maybe I'd trade the pencil for scissors-"

"Leandra." Esme murmured, shocked.

"Come to think about it, bet that lady with all that perfume is really flammable." I gave a laugh, shaking my head.

"Oh-_kay_." Alice murmured quickly, "I think it's time to go home." She set me on my feet, looking incredulously at Carlisle. She opened the back passenger door of the car for me, and I climbed in easily. Sighing in relief as she closed the door behind me. I laid to the side, rubbing my tired eyes. Just enjoying the quiet and safety of being in the car.

Carlisle and Esme stayed outside, talking to them quietly for a few moments. I couldn't hear anything they said, and I didn't try. I knew they talked about me, but I didn't mind. I was so used to it.

I wasn't in there alone for longer than a minute, before Carlisle and Esme climbed in as well. Jasper, Alice and Edward all walking away to their own cars.

"Leandra." Carlisle finally spoke when we were halfway home, "Do you think about that a lot?"

"About what?" I asked, looking to him.

"What you admitted at the school." He clarified, "How often do you think about things like that?" He only seemed curious. He wasn't mad at me.

"About killing people? Not a lot before. Before, I just wanted to hurt them." I admitted, "It stopped for awhile, but now, I just want them gone."

"Why?" He asked gently after another moment. I shrugged.

"They're no good." I replied, "None of them. All of them deserve it, and they all have it coming. I'm sure I'd be doing _some_one a favor." He was quiet again. I assumed he dropped the subject, so I sighed and looked back out the window.

"Leandra." He spoke up again as we neared the house, "During the party tonight, I think you should stay beside me. At all times." I nodded. I didn't mind that, "If not me, someone else."

"Okay." I agreed easily, sighing again. I half wondered why that was, but I didn't care. I probably would have done that anyway. I didn't exactly understand what the big deal was, though. So what if I thought about some not-so-happy things? Since when was that a new thing?

I stayed out of the way, watching as Alice decorated. I only had a little while before everyone would start showing up, so I moved for the side door. Just so I was even less in the way.

"Emmett." I called to the house, hoping to get his attention. When he wasn't immediately there by my side, I jumped up and down impatiently. I wasn't allowed to set foot outside to see Mikah unless he, or someone else was with me. Unfortunately, I didn't make it out there before Edward found me.

"Can I speak with you?" Edward asked.

"Only if we talk outside." I said, looking out the door, "Emmett is slacking. Em-_mett_!" My voice echoed up the stairs, so I knew he heard me. I looked to Edward again, "If I was a dog, I'd have peed all over the floor by now."

"Give me a second, short-stuff." He called back down the stairs.

"It's been a second." I replied, "Another second-"

"Eddy, please take that monster outside before she eats me." I laughed a little, and though Edward smirked, he gave a tense nod. I already knew what he was tense about, so I wasted no time in opening the door. He followed me, leaving the door open behind him.

I kneeled up on the bench, scanning the trees for Mikah. I couldn't see him yet, so I sighed and looked over at Edward.

"Leandra, I want to address what you admitted earlier." He told me, and again, I smiled. Just reminded of it.

"Why?" I asked in return, "I mean, why does it matter?"

"What'd she do?" I looked over as Emmett stepped outside.

"About _time_." I snapped playfully at him, "Geez, you took forever."

"Forever, huh?" Emmett asked, playfully covering my face with the palm of his hand, "That's a long time. I'm so sorry I kept you waiting, your highness."

"It's okay." I mumbled against his palm.

"Nothing yet." Edward answered him as he let his hand drop, "But I'm concerned that if we don't address it, it'll become a problem later in her life."

I yelped as Emmett suddenly landed on the bench beside me. Leaning over, he narrowed his eyes, "What'd you do?" He was joking. I knew he was by his tone, so I laughed.

"I didn't do anything." I replied defensively, shrugging a little.

"Those thoughts aren't normal, Leandra." Edward sighed.

"I know." I replied easily, ignoring Emmett throwing his arm around my shoulder and squishing me against his side, "I've been saying that all along. Nobody believes me."

"You're bugging her about what she thinks?" Emmett asked incredulously, "Of course her thoughts aren't going to be a rainbow playground, Eddy. Damn." I smiled over at him. Glad someone was on my side about it.

"You aren't aware of what it was she was thinking." Edward replied, looking his way as well, "I'm trying to prevent problems in the future."

"There won't be any." Emmett assured him, "Isn't that right, shorty?" He looked down at me.

"Nope." I muttered, attempting to stand, "No problems."

Edward caught me, insisting I sit back down. I sighed, sitting back down beside Emmett and drawing my knees up. Nobody had really felt the need to fix it before. Why now?

"You haven't bugged her about her thoughts before." Emmett pointed out for me.

"Before, she wasn't considering ways to act on it." He clarified, and I looked down. I hadn't even noticed I was doing that, "There was intent there, Emmett, and I'm worried."

Carlisle stepped outside with a quiet sigh. Esme paused where she walked by, her attention caught.

"I'm not gonna set anyone on fire." I murmured, "Or lock them in a box. Or set that box on fire. Even if it would be fun."

"Holy shit." Emmett found that amusing, chuckling a little.

"This isn't funny." Edward told him firmly, and his laughter stopped.

"She was serious?"

"Completely." Edward answered, and I smiled again.

"Shorty, I thought we talked about this?" Emmett frowned at me, "Killing and-or maiming people is not nice and not only frowned upon, but very, _very_ illegal." I kept my eyes down. Glancing up, though as Rosalie stepped outside. Probably looking for Emmett, but I wasn't going to ask.

"This happened before?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah." Emmett replied, "We had a talk about it in New York, after she suggested a few not-so-kid-friendly activities for Emily." I laughed at that reminder, recalling every suggestion perfectly, "I thought she was just being eccentric."

"I forgot about those ones." I said.

Edward cringed a little, "Really, Leandra?"

"What?" I asked defensively, "How else are those guard dogs gonna eat? But I was just kidding then. I knew Alyssa wouldn't go for it. I thought it was funny."

"What kinds of things?" Carlisle asked, obviously unhappy about this news.

I shrugged a little, looking down. I didn't really want to admit everything out loud. Maybe that should have been some kind of indication of how bad it was.

"There was burying her alive." Emmett answered, "That seems to be a common theme for her, doesn't it?"

"Shut up." I muttered at him. Reaching over, he covered my face again with his hand, making it harder to argue.

"There was tossing her over the fence of a junk yard for the dogs to attack." He went on, ignoring me, "Not to mention the drowning her in the toilet part."

"Not drowning her." I corrected immediately, mumbling against his hand, "Just a little, but not enough to kill her. Just scare her real bad. Same with the burying her, but like I said. I was just kidding then. I knew Alyssa wouldn't go for it, and I didn't really want to hurt her."

I was getting irritated, though, with trying to talk while Emmett's hand was covering most of my face. Moving my head just right, I managed to bite onto his hand between his pointer finger and thumb.

He looked at me, watching me as if fascinated as I watched him right back. Gently, he moved his hand, which turned my head. Trying to shake me off without hurting me, or testing my grip.

Surprised, he looked over at Carlisle, "She's biting me."

"Tattler." I mumbled as if Carlisle couldn't see for himself. I laughed at how obvious it was, and the way it must look to him.

"No," He chuckled, "I mean it as a good thing. You haven't bitten me like this in a very long time, shorty."

"Grr." I grumbled through my teeth, carefully biting harder on his hand until I felt something off. I frowned, releasing him.

"What?" He asked.

"I think my other tooth is getting loose." I muttered, poking it. It was the same one I'd lost on the other side of my mouth.

"That's normal." He said, "That's supposed to happen."

"But this one hasn't grown back yet." I looked over.

"If you only lost one per year, it'd be really hard for your teeth to grow in together, wouldn't it?" He asked, "You'll be fine. It's just like when you lost your front teeth. First one went, then the other a little while later."

"I barely remember that." I replied, "It's hard to remember small stuff like when my teeth fell out. Except the first one. Nobody ever told me that stuff was supposed to happen."

"Let me see." He said, so I showed him. Opening my mouth, and pointing to it. I doubted he could tell yet, as it was just a tiny bit of an ache, but he reached up, "I could yank it out right now, if you want?"

"No." I laughed, covering my mouth and leaning away, "It's not done yet. It would hurt too much."

"Nah." He said, "By the time it hurt, it'd be gone." I shook my head, "No? Aw. Well, okay. You let Alyssa yank the other one, though."

"The other one was way looser than this one." I replied, "You can yank it when it gets looser."

"Yay!" He grinned. He held his hand back up, and I bit him again. Chomping lighter, but I still got my point across.

"Can we focus, please?" Edward sighed. I instantly let go of Emmett's hand, sitting straighter and giving Edward my full attention. He'd been patient so far.

"Ew." Emmett muttered, wiping the spitty part of his hand on my shoulder. I had a hard time keeping a straight face through that.

Shaking his head, Edward looked to me again, "What did you tell Carlisle in the car?"

"That they'd deserve it?" I asked, "It's true."

"Who?"

"Everyone, except for a few people." I answered.

"For example?" He asked, "Who, in your opinion, gets to live?"

"Well, Alyssa and her family." I replied, "My dad, maybe Rachel. I'm not too sure about Lily, though. I haven't made up my mind about her yet. Heather, and all of them over there, but everyone else needs to go."

"Why?" He was intently asking me these questions.

"Because." I replied, "They're no good."

"And just how would you know that?" He asked, "For certain?" I looked down, thinking.

"Better to be safe than sorry." I finally said, "Why take the risk? Just kill them all before they can become a problem. Why not?"

"Because I'm not letting my sister become a serial killer." Emmett was the one to speak up now, "You'd be a serial killer still having baby teeth. Are you kidding me, shorty?"

"No." I replied simply, "I'm not."

"How would you like it if someone were to do those things to you?" Emmett asked.

"I wouldn't." I replied, "That's how I know they'd definitely hate it. I told you. I hate people. That's not new."

"She's right." I looked over, smiling a little at Mikah's arrival, "That's not new. I even noticed it." Rosalie gave Mikah a look, obviously not appreciating his presence, but that didn't surprise me much. Mikah had been in New York, his scent probably bugging the hell out of Rosalie the entire time she was there.

"Where have you been?" I barked at him, kneeling up, "You took even longer than Emmett to get here."

"Sorry, princess." He chuckled.

"Bad, Mikah." Emmett's tone was a mocking one. Imitating me, I assumed.

"It's a problem." Edward shook his head, getting back onto the topic, "I knew she hated people, but this is worse than it was before." I felt a little bad for Edward. He was trying to have a discussion, and I refused to sit still, much less focus. At that thought, I sat back down. He gave me an appreciative nod, so I knew he noticed.

"She's just nervous." Mikah reasoned, "In a few hours, your place is going to be packed with people. People she's never met. People she doesn't know. That makes her nervous."

"He's got a point." Emmett sighed, "But I still don't like the idea that she thinks about killing people-"

"Brutally." Edward added, "Brutally killing people."

"-When she's nervous." Emmett finished, "You weren't kidding before, shorty."

"I wouldn't do it unless I had to." I finally sighed, "I'd rather get away from them first, but if I couldn't get away from them, then I'd do something."

"We'll discuss this another time." Carlisle spoke up, and I turned to look at him, "Remember what I said. You're to stay with me, or someone else at all times tonight." I nodded again.

"I can take her." Emmett offered, "Since Rose and I are technically not supposed to be here. Maybe she shouldn't be here, either."

"No, I don't think that'll be necessary." Carlisle replied, "And I'd like to get her used to being around people again."

"Is that really a good idea when she's tempted to kill them all?" Emmett asked, and I winced a little.

I spoke up, "When you put it like that-"

"I think it was being so close to them." Edward murmured, "If she's allowed to move away, it should be alright."

"Until it's not anymore, and she sets those suckers ablaze." Emmett muttered.

"I'm sitting right here." I reminded him, "I'd be careful. I wouldn't just run up and light them up. That'd be stupid. I'd make sure they couldn't put out the flames, or make too much noise. That's why I liked the idea of stuffing them in a box first and nailing the lid shut-"

"That's quite enough." I knew to shut up when Carlisle put a stop to what I was saying that way.

"Wow." Mikah muttered after a second or two of silence.

"I'd keep an eye on the stray animal population." Emmett pointed out, and I knew what he meant.

"I wouldn't hurt an animal." I immediately said, "I like them, even if they don't like me. It's people I hate."

Edward sighed, and looked to Carlisle. I knew what they were telling each other without saying. This was a problem, but I really didn't see it as one. Maybe the fact that I didn't see it as a problem was the problem? But this was normal. How was this a surprise to anyone?

By the time Rose and Emmett had to disappear, he never brought it up again, but he seemed worried now, which was really unlike him.

The dress fit perfectly, but I still hated it. It hung down just passed my knees, and was a light cotton material. Sleeveless, with thin straps over the shoulders. It wasn't anything too fancy, which I appreciated. I liked the color, a light pastel green that almost matched my eyes, with a white ribbon around the middle, but I didn't like the fact that it was a dress. With the white leggings Alice had given me, though, it was tolerable. I chose to wear them like shorts that came to just above my knees. I felt better, but nobody could tell.

But I hated the shoes.

They weren't anything too fancy, either, but they were white, with a strap that crossed over the top of my foot. I didn't like it one bit. They were too girly for my taste. The whole outfit was so far out of my comfort zone, and Alice had to insist on doing my hair into a tight french braid. Securing my hair out of my face, and braided down just below my shoulders.

I took one look at myself and wanted to barf at the cuteness of it.

"Really?" I whined, looking back at Alice, "Do I really have to be seen like this?"

"Oh, you look wonderful, Leandra." She assured me with a grin, "Don't worry."

"It's too cute." I shook my head, "I don't like it."

"It's just one night." She said, taking my hand, "A few hours. At the most." She had a point there. I sighed, letting her lead me from my room. I closed my bedroom door behind me, and followed her up the hall. I stole a piece of candy from the table as we passed, and nobody seemed to mind. It wasn't often I got candy anymore.

Esme took one look at me and about melted where she stood.

We got out right as the people started showing up, making it out at the last second, so there was no chance I could see Mikah again before I put myself through hell.

It was a large group that showed up right off the bat, like they were scared to be the only ones showing up first. I quickly moved to Carlisle's side as Alice ran off to answer the door, and Esme quickly moved to make sure the snack table was perfect.

"Can I just hide in the closet?" I asked, suddenly very nervous.

"You'll be alright." He assured me, and I couldn't help feeling almost threatened as I listened to the stampede coming into the room. I moved quickly to Carlisle's other side, grabbing his hand. He didn't seem to mind that, seeming to prefer it that way, holding mine in return.

There had to have been twenty people in that first group, and stupidly, I thought that'd be the most that would show up. After that first wave of people, another showed up minutes later.

I'd underestimated how many people were coming, clearly. The more packed the house became, the more intently I followed Carlisle, but because of how "cute" I seemed to be, I gained a lot of attention I didn't want.

"Kill me now." I muttered after the latest squealing group passed by me, "Please."

"Oh!" One girl in another passing group turned to stare, causing all the others with her to do the same, "Isn't she adorable?"

"Carlisle," I murmured almost silently, "If you care about me at all, you'll kill me now." I stepped back as they stepped closer. I didn't want to hurt them, but I would if I had to. I just held his hand tighter, squeezing it almost as hard as I could.

Thankfully, Carlisle managed to take their attention from me.

As the night went on, Esme seemed pretty busy restocking food that had run out, and ensuring everyone was comfortable. Alice and Jasper were busy wandering around, talking to everyone, so the one I chose to stick with was Carlisle as he wandered more slowly, keeping an eye on everyone. I hardly saw Edward at all, but I knew he was around there somewhere, along with Bella.

The music was loud, but the people were louder. I don't think I let myself calm down once yet. I knew all I had to do was run off to my room, but making it from where we were on the second floor all the way to my room seemed like a mile to run. Too far for my taste, and every time we had wandered close enough to it, it felt too much like chickening out.

I did eventually have to leave his side, though. In the middle of the busiest place, the second floor hallway, I had to find the bathroom through the flood of people. There was a rather large group just parked right outside of it.

"S'cuse me." I grumbled, but they didn't seem to hear me. I repeated it, trying to step around them. Having to back up when one would move unexpectedly. Until I got irritated, making my voice louder, "Move your ass!"

They parted instantly, surprised by the shout that seemed to come from nowhere, and I darted through the tiny space provided. Slamming and locking the door behind me.

I took several minutes in there. Just taking a breath enough to cry a few tears. I really didn't want to leave the bathroom. I really, really didn't want to go back out there. If they only knew what this was doing to me. To me, this was a big deal.

When I got back out, however, I couldn't find Carlisle where I'd left him. I moved forward, looking all around myself. Maybe he went back downstairs. He hadn't been there in awhile.

Wandering that direction, I still couldn't find him. Standing up on a chair, I looked. Was this some sort of test? This had to be some sort of test. Some way to see what I would do when I was left alone in a giant group of people. I didn't appreciate this test one bit, though. Now definitely wasn't the time to test me this way, because I was positive I was going to fail.

I stepped from the chair, onto a table for a higher vantage point. Looking again, I didn't see anybody from my family. Not even Esme, but that could just be because she was busy trying to make sure kids weren't off doing stuff they shouldn't.

The overwhelmingly crowded room was starting to get to me. Making it hard to breathe. It made me dizzy, and uneasy. Panicky. I didn't like feeling this way, especially in my own house, and I didn't exactly want to throw up all over the floor. I knew there weren't _that_ many people in here, but in my mind, it was wall-to-wall people and I was here alone.

I whimpered, deciding instead of hanging around by myself, I had to go somewhere. I jumped back onto the chair, bouncing from the chair back onto the floor. Instead of moving the larger distance to my room, I stepped outside. It was the one place I could think of to catch my breath, and to keep myself from throwing up. Slipping out the door and closing it firmly behind me.

Choosing to stay on the porch, I breathed in the cool, damp night air as I leaned on the handrail. The porch was acceptable, right? I wasn't off killing anybody. I wouldn't. I would prefer just to get away from them instead.

I breathed in deep, letting it out in a sigh. Repeating that several times. I was deeply convinced at that point that Alice had been trying to kill me when she made plans for this party however long ago. It was darker on this side of the house, easier on my frazzled nerves.

It wasn't raining, but it was threatening to. I could sense it.

Despite how well I had been doing lately, I did have my limits. I did have my limits, and this party was pushing them. Quickly. I hoped I could pass whatever test this was, but I seriously just wanted to cry.

I stood there, calming down for several minutes, until I started to feel like I was being watched. I gave a glance around. Nobody else was outside with me, and as far as I could see, nobody inside was watching me, but I had a feeling I knew who it was that was watching me.

"Yeah," I spoke quietly, knowing whoever was watching me could hear me, "This sucks." To my embarrassment, I actually did start to cry. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, and as much as being outside helped, I knew I'd have to go back in there eventually. I really didn't want to.

Irritated, I pulled my braid out, hating the way it was hurting my head. My usually wavy hair was even wavier now as I patted it down, but I doubted it was too messy. Not that I cared much, though. Closing my eyes, trying nearly in vain to breathe deep.

"Hey." Surprised, I looked up at Mikah's voice suddenly so close to me, "What's bugging you, princess?" He stood there, just below the porch railing I leaned on, looking up at me. Seeing him so close, it was weird to me, but I didn't let that surprise distract me.

He seemed more concerned about me than bothered. It was dark enough out here that I wasn't especially worried about anybody seeing him, but I was worried about breaking Jasper's rule. Instead of telling him to go away, I couldn't help taking this invitation to vent.

"I hate this." I admitted through tears, "Too many people. I can't stand it. I can't breathe."

"Remember?" He asked quietly, keeping his voice down, "Remember that day at the ice cream place?"

"When you took me and Alyssa." I nodded a little.

"This is just like that." He told me, "I just can't be there to hold your hand."

Looking over at his hands resting on the railing on either side of me, I reached over and placed my hand over his. He tensed, but didn't move, other than looking from my eyes to my hand. He allowed it, but didn't try to hold my hand in return. Keeping his hand completely still.

"Just remember." Mikah spoke again, "You're okay. Chew something. It tricks your brain into calming down, because it tells your instincts to cool it. It tells your instincts that you're not in any trouble, because you wouldn't be chewing if you were."

"The gum." I recalled and he nodded.

"Exactly." He smiled a little.

"I'll try."

"And please don't cry." He added, "I don't like seeing you cry." Reminded, I sniffled. Forcing myself to take deep breaths, and calm myself down a little more.

"I can't help it." I whispered, "When I'm around a lot of people like that, it feels like I can't breathe. It's always been that way."

"That's anxiety, princess." He replied gently, "You'll get through it." I allowed myself a few more sobs. Keeping my hand rested over his, though, seemed to help. I could focus on that instead of my racing heart.

Instead of warm like I always remembered his hand being, it was cold. Like a rock left outside in the middle of a snowstorm. Ice. I curled my fingers around the edge of his hand, and taking the hint, he raised his hand a little bit. I could hold onto his hand, but he couldn't hold onto mine. With my other hand, I held onto the other side of his hand.

This seemed acceptable, as long as I didn't try to move too fast.

"That feels so strange." He admitted, laughing a little. I smiled, even through my tears. I slowly poked the back of his hand. Where his skin would have given before, it stayed firm now. As long as I'd been with my family, I never inspected them like this. I always figured they'd somehow be offended if I'd attempted to.

"I see Alice finally wrestled you into that dress." He pointed out, and I laughed a little this time.

"I hate it." I admitted, "It's better, but I still hate it."

"Well, I think you look nice." He replied, "You have to give her some credit for that."

"Thanks." I sighed, shrugging a little, "But I feel weird. When I could finally stop wearing dresses before, I only ever wore jeans. Now my legs are all naked, and it bugs."

"I wouldn't know what would be better to focus on." He laughed, "How much wearing a dress irritates you, or all the people inside."

"Dress." I nodded a little, "Definitely."

"Then let's focus on the irritating dress." He suggested and I laughed again, shaking my head as I looked back down.

"I was worried you'd have changed." I admitted, glancing up briefly, "I was so worried that you wouldn't have been the same person I knew before."

"I probably would have changed." He replied, "But sticking around for my family helped a lot with that. Even as against the rules as it was, I couldn't leave them yet. They mean way too much to me to just drop them like that. Even now, and the reminder was plenty enough to let me keep just a little bit of who I was before."

"Alyssa is with your mom." I told him, "I haven't heard from her lately, but I know that can't be good for them."

"I know." He agreed, "I've been filled in on everything Carlisle is trying to do for them. I really hate how stubborn my dad can be sometimes."

"I think the word is 'proud'." I corrected, "Stubborn is thinking you're always right. Proud is wanting to do things on your own."

"Maybe both, then." He allowed, and I nodded a little.

"Too bad there isn't a way to just.." I sighed, "I don't know. Make him take the money. Maybe if I told Alyssa about it, she'd make him take it, because anything would be better than letting them stay there."

"Jon would be a better bet." He replied, "Hell, Jon is over eighteen. He could take the money himself, and give everyone else a place to live. With or without my dad's permission. If my dad wants to hold onto his pride more than he wants the kids back, then that's on him, but Jon doesn't need his okay to do anything anymore."

"Yeah, but would he take it?" Before I'd even finished asking that, I recalled the four-hundred dollars Emmett handed him that last night in New York. He'd taken it without much issue, thankfully.

"If it gets the kids back, he would." Mikah nodded, "He might not show it much, but he does care about them. He's been in the same boat with us from the start. I was the one that raised them. He did most of the providing for."

"He did?"

"Yeah." He chuckled incredulously, "I was a kid. We both were, but he was older. There were so many things I just couldn't pull off like he could, and definitely not on my own. He just doesn't know how to show affection like I do. Or used to."

"Do." I corrected his correction, "You still know how." He smiled a little, and I returned it.

"You're too kind." He laughed quietly, "I guess it just comes naturally."

"I'm glad you didn't change." I admitted, "Well, I mean.. You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean." He replied, "But I owe a lot of that to Cole."

"Then I need to thank him." I said, "More than I already have." I laughed a little, "Think he's sick of hearing me thank him?"

"I guarantee that he's not sick of hearing it." He shook his head a little, "Especially after learning all he has about you the last few days. He knows me being here makes you happy, so he's happy to provide." He paused for a laugh, "Listen to me. I talk about myself like I'm some sort of object."

I laughed as well, "No, but I am glad you're back. I missed you."

"I know I'm not sick of hearing that." He smiled up at me, "I'm happy to hear I made a positive impact on your life."

"Good." I replied, "Because I'll probably never stop saying that, and you did. You do now too."

"Let me know if that changes." He chuckled, and I laughed along with him. He made it easy to calm down.

I nodded a little, "I'll bring that up to Carlisle next time I can. About Jon." I continued inspecting his hand in the silence that followed.

I looked up, though, when I felt him tense a bit.

"I have to go." He told me, "Just remember to breathe when you go back in there. Nobody in there is out to hurt you, princess. You'll be okay." He seemed to be in a hurry now, so I moved. He waited until I moved my hands away from his before he moved his away.

"Leandra." Jasper suddenly stepping outside had me jumping and turning sharply toward the door. I knew immediately that he wasn't happy with me, and looking back over, Mikah was gone. The way Jasper wasted no time in taking my hand made me nervous. Giving a glancing glare back toward the trees, he tugged me into the house. Alice, waiting inside, followed us.

He knew Mikah had been here. He knew the rule had been broken. Oddly, I wasn't worried about me. I was more worried about Mikah being in trouble than I was about me being in trouble.

"Don't be mad at him." I whimpered, "He was just-"

"Not here." He told me firmly, and I shut up until we reached the stairs.

"He was just trying to calm me down, Jasper." I had to practically run to keep up with his pace up the stairs.

"Those rules were put in place for a reason." He was mad. Madder than I thought he was. It surprised me into silence, biting my lip as he continued, "You were told not to go out there without any of us. He was told not to get that close to you."

"I-I couldn't find you-"

"Then you stay inside." He rounded the doorway into Carlisle's office, gaining both Carlisle's, and Edward's attention. Bella beside him stayed quiet.

"I couldn't stay inside."

"Then you figure something else out, but you don't go out there without any of us." He parked me almost roughly in front of him, and I practically fell back, stumbling into sitting stiffly on the chair behind me, "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"I-I.." My voice trembled a little, "I'm sorry."

"Don't you even care?" Jasper asked, "Leandra, he is a _newborn vampire_. I don't care how controlled he seems to be. He will kill you if his instincts snap, and he finds the opportunity."

I looked down.

"Not Mikah."

"Yes," He corrected, "Mikah. You don't get it, do you?"

"Jazz," Alice spoke up, "Ease up a little."

"Carlisle, I don't want him around anymore." Jasper looked to him, "If they refuse to follow these rules, he needs to go." My heart dropped.

"What?" Alice asked, surprised.

"No." I whined instantly, "I couldn't find anybody. I was freaking out, and he wanted to make sure I was okay."

"The reason hardly matters." Jasper told me firmly, "The point is that he got way too close to you without any of us around."

"Then you should have been around!" I argued. I was getting really upset. I didn't appreciate him scolding me like this, and I definitely didn't appreciate him trying to get rid of Mikah.

"He's not going anywhere, Leandra." Alice came to Jasper's side, "Can I talk to you?"

"Don't turn this around." Jasper nearly completely ignored Alice, scolding me further, "You knew the rules. He knew the rules. Both of you blatantly ignored them. You're _very_ lucky he didn't kill you just now. He could have killed you, and there's nothing in the world that could have stopped him."

"He was fine-"

"He _seemed_ fine." Jasper corrected sharply, "I guarantee that the entire time you were standing there, he was fighting the urge to kill you."

"Stop it." I frowned.

"It's the truth." He replied, "What do you think would have happened had he lost the fight with that urge? It's just how it is. I have my own problems resisting, and I've been at this a whole lot longer than he has."

"I'm sorry." I replied quickly, "But don't make him go."

"He's dangerous, Leandra." I flinched a little at his tone, "We pose a significant threat to you, but he is far more dangerous than we are because he doesn't have the experience, the practice he needs to have to be around you. You're letting yourself fall for what he's designed to do."

"Jasper." Alice spoke again, her own tone firmer as she scooted between where I sat and his angry expression. She pressed her hands against his chest, looking up at him, "I would like a word with you. Right now." He took a sharp breath, but looked to me again.

"I'm not through." He told me, but I didn't bother replying. With that, he turned. Heading for the door with Alice close behind him.

"Harsh." Bella commented quietly as she looked to Edward.

"It's justified." Edward explained, "He doesn't appreciate how lightly they're taking this. How careless they both were. Mikah is a newborn. Hardly three months into this life." She winced a little, "Exactly. He's not nearly as practiced at resisting as he needs to be to be that close to her. Even I have some trepidation. So many things could have gone wrong. Don't hold it against Jasper."

I looked over at Carlisle, "You're not going to make him leave, are you?"

He sighed, "Jasper does have a point. I don't want to, Leandra, but if you can't follow the rules set in place to keep you safe-"

"I will." I replied quickly, "I'm sorry. I didn't go out there looking for him. I didn't even mean for him to show up."

"All that proves is that he refuses to follow the rules as well." Carlisle shook his head, "It can't be that way, Leandra. I'm sorry."

"Don't make him go." I begged, "_Please_. Don't make him leave."

"I don't see much choice." Carlisle replied, "I will not have you placed in danger like that. Until I know for sure he can resist, the risk is too significant."

"He was just worried about me!" I whined again, trying to reason with him.

"So am I." He countered, "And in this case, I think my worry takes precedence."

"_Please_." I whimpered. I didn't exactly find this fair. One little mistake, and they were acting like he'd killed someone.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle said again, but the final edge to his tone told me he was decided, "We'll discuss this later. I'll be speaking with Cole tonight." Standing up, I headed for the door. Everyone in the room watched after me, "Leandra?"

It just didn't seem fair to me. I knew it was a big risk they were taking, but shouldn't the fact that Mikah didn't kill me count for something? Or was the risk enough to worry them into making them leave?

I left the room, finding Jasper and Alice standing there in the hall.

"I hope you're fucking _happy_." I shoved Jasper as hard as I could, and though he only moved back half a step, it surprised him enough for my taste. I went on, heading for the stairs.

I ignored all the people I ran into on my way to my room. Shoving passed them like they weren't even there. I was pissed, but that was only to keep myself from crying until I was alone.

I slammed and locked my door behind myself. The second it was closed, the sob I'd been hiding tore free. I knew no matter how far away they were, my family would hear that.

No matter what happened now, I knew Carlisle had been convinced. Even if Jasper somehow changed his mind, Carlisle wouldn't. I didn't care that Mikah was a vampire now. I didn't care if he was dangerous. Hell, I was dangerous.

I looked toward the window, and I considered slipping outside, but I wouldn't be that stupid. As much as I would miss Mikah, I couldn't do that. I couldn't throw everything up in the air like that by running away.

I did open it, though. Sitting on the sill, just for some fresh air. I appreciated the gentle breeze wafting in at me, but that didn't help the way I felt.

"I heard." Mikah's quiet voice came from along the dark side of the house. At first, I was startled, not expecting it, but I quickly shook it off. He spoke again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you into trouble."

"I don't want you to go." I cried quietly, "But they think you should."

"They're just afraid for you." He reasoned, "Don't be mad at them. I still have a lot of growing up to do, princess. They're right to be cautious. They're right. I am dangerous. At least for now." I couldn't help the sob that left me, "I won't be far, remember? I'll still be around. I'll keep working on learning all I can, and we'll see how it goes from there, okay? Don't cry."

I couldn't help it, "I don't want you to go. You just got here."

"I know." He sighed, and slowly, he approached my window from the side, "But if there's one thing I know, it's that they care deeply for you. If anything happened to you because of me, I don't know what I'd do with myself, but I _know_ they wouldn't take it well. Jasper is right to be cautious. He's right, but I do know myself. I wouldn't have dared get so close to you if I wasn't one-hundred-percent positive I was okay."

"I guess that doesn't matter to him."

"I can't blame him for that." Mikah replied, "I know being this close to you right now just makes things worse, no doubt, but I'm not going anywhere without talking to you about it first."

I sighed, keeping my eyes down.

"I know you're upset." He went on, "I'm sure the party tonight hasn't helped things much, but you'll calm down. I'm not leaving for good. I don't know how to make it up to them, but I'll figure it out." He sighed, "I hope they'll still let us help them with the Seattle newborns, though. Maybe it'll all calm down after that."

"Hold on." I sniffled, "Stay here for a second." He gave a nod, and I stood up. I took the few steps to get at my bedside table. Reaching into the front drawer, I pulled out the snow-globe and the box holding the pendant.

I returned to the window, as he smiled a little, watching me wind up the music box portion of the snow-globe. I set it to the side to play, while I opened the pendant box.

"Where'd you find that?" He asked, obviously remembering where this came from.

"Alyssa gave it to me." I explained quietly, "Before we came back here. She found it, and thought I should have it."

"I'm glad she did." He replied. I carefully lifted out the pendant, the sturdy chain fighting me a little with the papery holder. I freed it, and looked it over in my hand.

"If they're going to make you leave," I said, looking to him, "Then take this with you."

He smiled, "That's yours."

"I don't want you to forget me." I explained quietly.

"That's not possible." He instantly said. He didn't protest again, though, as I leaned forward and dropped the chain over his head. The chain was long enough to fall right around his neck.

"There." I murmured, fixing the pendant until it fell down the front of his shirt, "And the Ruby matches your new eyes." He smiled again, "I miss your old eye color, but this is just as good."

"I'll take good care of it." He promised, "Thank you, princess." He looked to the snow-globe with a small smile, "You still remember the song?"

"I listen to it all the time." I replied, leaning back. Giving him more space as I spoke again, "I still remember the words. I never let myself forget them."

"I think it fits now." He told me, "I meant what I said. With the note. I will do something. If I have to hunt him down myself, I promise you'll be safe." I looked down, shaking my head. He just didn't get it.

He caught the spot in the song that I always loved to listen to.

"Sometimes, we're just like the weather," I looked up as he quietly sang to it, "Changing by day after day. As long as we'll be together, storms will pass away. I said I would guard and protect you, and keep you free from all harm, and if life should ever reject you, that love would weather each storm."

I couldn't help smiling, and he returned it.

"That's my favorite part." I admitted, and he chuckled.

"Mine too." He nodded a little, "I know the last thing you need is another brother, as you already have three really protective ones as it is, but you have one more. As much as I can be, anyway. Just keep that in mind, princess."

I nodded this time. I agreed, but that didn't mean I wanted him to go play around in Seattle trying to find one person.

"I _really_ don't want you to go." I admitted again sadly, and he sighed.

"I know." He repeated, "And that's more than enough for me. To be wanted around, but don't be mad at them, okay? They care about you."

"Stay out of Seattle." I requested, "Don't go there."

"Princess, if it can help them, I'll go." He pointed out.

"I meant to find Jack." I replied, "But for that either." I looked down.

"Especially to find Jack." He murmured, "Someone's gotta hunt him down. Your family can't. Nobody knows the intentions of the newborns there, but by the looks of it, there are quite a few of them. It's dangerous to go anywhere near a place where they're that overpowered. Even I know that."

I whimpered, hesitant.

"But I promise." He went on, "If I have to go there, I'll be as careful as I possibly can. I won't know anything until later when Carlisle talks with Cole. We'll see what happens then, okay?" I gave him a look, "Don't pout. Come on."

"I can't help it."

"Smile, princess." He told me, "It'll work out." I just couldn't this time. He seemed to understand that. Giving a glance around, though, he sighed, "I better go now. I don't want to push my luck any further. I _really_ don't want to lose my arms." I nodded a little. I knew he had to go, but I didn't like it.

"Take me with you?" I requested, but I knew the answer to that. I wouldn't go even if he offered.

"Stay, princess." He murmured, "I'll be around." With that, he was gone.

I sighed, and continued to sit there. Leaning against the side of the window track, staring out over the dark yard.

As much as I tried, I couldn't help being mad at both Jasper and Carlisle. I knew Mikah had a point, that they just wanted to keep me safe, but it wasn't fair. I'd just gotten him back, and the first time the rules were broken, it was to the curb with him.

I hadn't even thought to change out of this stupid dress yet. Being too worked up before, but now that the idea crossed my mind, I stood up. Closing the curtains over the window, I picked out my comfiest set of pajamas and changed quickly. Tossing the stupid dress out the window the second I could. It puffed audibly as it landed in the plant outside my window.

I sat back down on the window sill. I hated this. So much. I felt like I'd just gotten him back, and suddenly, he was gone again. Just because Jasper was paranoid, and Mikah didn't want to die.

It didn't matter if I was doing better. Jasper didn't care about that part. Apparently, neither did Carlisle. To them, the risks outweighed the benefits, and there was nothing I could say that would change that.

It wasn't fair. I didn't care if they were just trying to keep me safe. I hated that they cared so much, which I knew full well would change when I had a chance to calm down, but for right then, I didn't care. I hated it.

I felt bad, as Alice was the one trying to argue for me, so I leaned out the window and grabbed the dress from off the plant outside and pulled it back in. She was the one trying to help me.

I dusted off the dress and sighed. Folding it and setting it to the side.

**A/N: Well, this sucks. :( Jasper irritates me sometimes.  
But yay for more Eclipsie stuff! :D Now we know where we are. :D**  
**THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers of last chapter! YAY! THANK YOU! Cue the confetti.. *#*#*/\\*#*#**  
**Ten might take a few days, as it's got a bunch of stuff in it I need to go over and add to, as well as bits that I couldn't fit into this chapter, but it shouldn't take that long. :) **  
**Until Ten, my amazing readers! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I was sitting there for close to half an hour, just beginning to calm down when I had to try to ignore the knock at the door.

"Leandra?" I didn't want to talk to Carlisle at that point.

"Go away." I mumbled, knowing he heard me. I knew what he was going to talk to me about, and I knew his reasons why, so I didn't need to talk to him. I wanted to deal with my sore emotions on my own for a little while.

"Leandra, may I come in?" He asked.

"Please go away." I repeated, "I don't really want to talk to anyone right now." And I definitely didn't want to open that door until all the strange people in the house were gone. In here, I was safe from all the people out there. My family included. In here, I could just be alone.

"I'm sorry," He spoke again, "But it's important."

I groaned, but turned. Crossing the room, I unlocked it and pulled it open.

"What did I do now?" I snapped, "Was I not breathing the right way? Am I not allowed to have the window-"

"Leandra." Alice, thankfully, shut me up. I was actually glad she shut me up, as she and Carlisle weren't the only ones standing there. I couldn't believe how big these three new guys were. Darker skin, short, dark hair and dark eyes. They actually seemed as surprised to see me as I was to see them. One, obviously deeply confused, frowned and looked over at Carlisle.

"Uh.. Whatever it is, I didn't do it."

"Oh, this is rich." The front-most newcomer spoke, incredulously amused, "You've got to be kidding me. You cannot be serious."

Alice gave me a small, sad smile as she gestured into the room. Hesitantly, I stepped back to let her, Carlisle, and the three others into my room.

Puzzled, I watched the three newcomers frown a little, looking around my room as Carlisle closed the door behind them all. This made me very uncomfortable. I watched them, unsure about these guys. They were pretty well built. Studying me now with obvious confusion as I stepped closer to Alice.

"Who are they?" I asked quietly, looking to Alice, "I really didn't do anything."

"Something's come up." She started, "A decision was made tonight."

"Okay?" I wasn't getting it. Glancing to the newcomers again, but they were starting to get amused by how uncomfortable I obviously was. Smirking at me, which only made me more nervous. Stepping even closer to Alice as if to prove it, now half a step behind her.

"She's human." The same newcomer spoke up, looking to Carlisle again.

"No shit." I grumbled.

"Leandra." Alice corrected me quietly, "This is Jacob." She gestured to the front-most of the newcomers. The one doing all the talking. He looked to me again, and without him even having to move, I stepped back another half step.

"We're aware that she's human." Carlisle spoke. Repeating what I'd said in a much nicer way.

Jacob went on, "Though you can hardly tell under all the stink."

"Stink?" I frowned, "I don't stink."

"Not you." He replied, "But the group of bloodsuckers you're living with does." I assumed he was talking about the fact that my family were vampires. I narrowed my eyes, so not up to being talked down to tonight. The condescending note in his tone pissed me off. Not to mention the insult he'd just flung at my family for no reason. As mad as I was at them, I really didn't approve.

"Shut up, or get the fuck out of my room." Instead of being offended like I hoped they would be, they were all even more amused. Laughing a little at my sharp tone.

"Whoa." The guy to Jacob's side laughed, "Calm down there, little ankle-biter."

"Bite me, asshole." I countered.

"I wouldn't say that around here, kid." Jacob joked at me, inciting more laughter from the three of them, but he was just pissing me off even more. He was being obnoxious and snide, and I wasn't impressed. Neither was Alice or Carlisle. I didn't like being picked on.

"Focus, Leandra." Alice sighed before I could take a swing at him. Taking my shoulders in her hands, she turned me away, leading me over to my bed. I sat down, watching as she sat beside me. She looked to me, making sure I was listening to her before speaking again, "The decision was made tonight. About the newborns." My heart dropped a little.

"The.. Uh.." I glanced toward Jacob and the others watching near the door. I didn't know if it was okay to say the word, "The ones in Seattle?"

"Yeah." She answered, "Those ones."

"What are you going to do? What was the decision?"

"We're not going to them." She answered, "They'll be coming here." My eyes widened a little.

"Here?" I asked, surprised, "Like.. _Here_? If they can cause that much trouble in Seattle, what can they do here?" Most everyone I cared about was here, my family included, "Nobody would live through that, and the town would be even smaller."

"The town wouldn't exist anymore." Jacob pointed out incredulously.

"Exactly." She replied to me, ignoring Jacob, "Which is why they won't get this far."

"So.. She lives here?" Jacob asked again, "With you?"

"No." I countered sarcastically, "I live in the fucking yard. I'm just here until it stops raining."

He snorted, "What, is she-"

"Jacob." Alice spoke up, slightly irritated, interrupting him. He was fueling me, and I was fueling him. Whoever this was was irritating me. Quickly.

"Is she like your pet or something?" Jacob asked anyway, "This has to be some kind of joke." Alice sighed, obviously annoyed.

"Hey, shut up." I frowned at Jacob, "I'm not some pet." Jacob looked to me, and my voice quieted, "You don't know everything. They're all I have."

"So explain it to me." He said, and I looked down, "How does a group of bloodsuckers keep a human around without wanting to pounce and kill it? What? Are you waiting for her to _age_? Like whiskey?"

"That's uncalled for." Alice told him.

"_How_ is it uncalled for?" Jacob asked, laughing again, "You're vampires. She's a human. What am I supposed to think?"

It was silent for a bit, and I looked over at Carlisle. I nodded, letting him know it was alright to explain it if he wanted to. I assumed Jacob was here to help, considering he knew about my family, but that really didn't make me like him as a person.

And if he didn't see the full picture, he might assume something. While Carlisle began explaining, Alice looked to me again.

"They're coming here." She murmured to me, "Which means we need to stop them before they get this far."

"Mikah says it's dangerous for you." I murmured back, "You can't go find them. You could get hurt."

"That's what Jacob is here for." She went on, "They're going to help us, but we're going to need to work with them a little. Before the newborns show up, we need to train."

"Train?" I frowned.

"Work with them." She explained, "Learn all we can learn about what it takes to.. Fix the problem safely."

"Oh." I muttered, "And Jacob is going to help with that?"

"Yes." She replied, "We need their help if we're going to be as safe as possible, so please try not to make him angry."

"Sorry." I sighed, "I don't think he's mad at me yet, though. No matter what I say, they just laugh. I don't like the way they talk to you."

"It's the best chance we have." She reasoned.

"Weird." I looked over at Jacob's comment, "I didn't peg you all as one for charity." He glanced to me, and I narrowed my eyes again. I bit back the response I had about shoving something up his ass. Like Alice had said, I didn't exactly want to piss them off if they were somehow going to help my family.

"Well, does she know about you?" Jacob asked.

"We didn't tell her." Carlisle answered.

"She knew about it before, and remembered." Alice added.

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked, frowning.

"She's gifted." Carlisle explained, "She has an ability. Like Alice's, but slightly different. She knew about us before we actually met her."

"That can happen?" Jacob asked, impressed, "While she's human?"

"Certain gifts have the potential to manifest while human, yes." Carlisle replied, "Most of the time, however, it takes a strong personality trait while human to intensify by being turned to form the ability, but sometimes, very rarely in fact, it happens beforehand. This type of ability is very rare."

"And she's okay with what you are?" Jacob asked, "She's not.. Like held prisoner?"

"No." I told him incredulously, "They wouldn't do that to anyone." He huffed, but didn't seem convinced, so I spoke again, "Say that again, I'll knock your goddamn teeth out."

"She's feisty, isn't she?" One of the other newcomers chuckled, looking to Jacob.

Jacob looked to Carlisle, "And you're having us meet her, so you can bring her along tomorrow?"

"Yes." Carlisle answered.

"Afraid she might burn the house down?" He chuckled, "Can't find a fitting babysitter for the precious little pre-leech?" I wasn't sure I liked that name, not that I understood it much. Alice didn't either, given the look on her face when I glanced over at her.

"Not at all." Carlisle replied, seemingly ignoring that name. Probably to keep things civil as he continued, "We trust her completely in that aspect, but I fear who might show up while we're gone. If there are newborns targeting the area, I'd rather keep her safe with us as long as possible. This way, we know for sure that she's protected."

Jacob nodded slowly, sighing.

"Alright." He finally said, shrugging a little, "Bring her along tomorrow then. I'm not sure why you think you need _my_ permission."

"We thought it'd be best not to catch Sam off guard." Alice explained, "Human, vampires.. Treaty?"

"Right." Jacob muttered, "Well, I don't think it'll be a big deal, unless she's bitten between now and then. Bring her. We'll be there." That seemed to relieve Carlisle. Alice as well, given the sudden ease of tension beside me.

"Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle replied, "This is very much appreciated."

"Thank you." I told him quietly as well, and he looked to me. He didn't seem okay with me, but that was probably only because I was a human living in a family of vampires. Why would he care anyway? Who the hell was he to judge?

"Is that it?" Jacob asked.

"Yes." Carlisle nodded a little. With a nod, the three of them turned, leaving my room. Silently, I flipped my middle finger at their backs.

"Leandra." Alice captured my hand, "They're helping us. I knew this isn't ideal, but it's the best way to protect the town."

"I still don't get why you have to be the ones to fix this." I frowned, "You didn't cause this."

"We can't just sit back and ignore it." She explained, "Them being this close to us makes it our responsibility."

"Why?" I asked, "That doesn't seem fair."

"This is our home." She replied, "We have to protect it." That I understood.

"And that's why Jacob wants to help?" I was figuring it out, "Because it's his home too?"

"Exactly."

"How can he help, though?" I asked, "Sure, he's big, but-"

"That's a long story." She told me, "One I'm not sure they want me to explain to you. I will say, though, that they're more than capable of helping." I nodded a little, accepting that.

"I get it," I said, "But they said I stink."

She laughed a little, "He's talking about our scent. It allows those that can pick up scents like that know that you belong with us, remember?"

"Wait.." I muttered, "He can smell your scent?"

"That goes along with the long story," She answered with a glance to Carlisle, "But yes. They can. I think you'll figure it out tomorrow. We just needed you to meet them first, so they were aware of you before we brought you."

That made sense, so I nodded. It was silent for a moment, and she sighed.

"Leandra," She murmured, "About what happened earlier-"

"I don't want to talk about that." I mumbled, "I'll just get mad again, and I don't want to do that."

"I think you need to understand." She reasoned. That was open invitation to complain again, which I took without much more resistance.

"It's not fair." I argued, "You're making him leave because he was worried about me. He said. He said he wouldn't have gotten that close if he wasn't sure he could, but that doesn't matter. All Jasper cares about is that he did at all. To him, it doesn't matter why he did what he did."

"You have to think about it from his side." She told me, "You have.. No idea how fragile you are. One wrong move, one wrong breath around him could be your last. Everything can go completely wrong in a split second, and if none of us are there to protect you, it's over. Just like that. Jasper doesn't want to see you get hurt or killed because you weren't careful enough. He thinks you both are taking this way too lightly, and aren't realizing how important it is to stick to the rules."

"But Mikah-"

"Mikah is overestimating himself." She shook her head a little, "It doesn't take much to give in to the urge, Leandra. If he's not one hundred percent aware of himself every moment you're within his reach, he wouldn't even see the slip coming, much less you. Jasper.. He's only worried. He doesn't trust Mikah enough with your life to let this slide that easily. We _don't_ want to lose you."

"I know." I muttered, looking down.

"You scared him tonight." She went on, "You scared all of us tonight. When he found out you were outside alone, it was bad enough, but to find out you were standing that close to Mikah, with nobody around to protect you, well.. That made it ten times worse.

"The reason why doesn't matter when it's your life you're gambling with. If Mikah snaps, and we're not there, there's absolutely nothing we can do to help you. Nothing will help you in a situation like that. I know you don't want to think of him like that, but it's the truth."

"I don't want him to go." I mumbled, "_Please_ don't make him go." She sighed, looking to Carlisle. I did as well, waiting for what he said next. I could tell that he was just as convinced as he was before, but I could understand a little better why.

"I'll be talking with Cole tonight." Carlisle finally said, and before he was even finished saying that, I was whining. He spoke again, "Just listen."

"It's not fair!"

Alice tried, "Leandra-"

"No." I said, "It isn't fair. One mistake, and he's out of here? What happens next time I mess up?"

"That's different." Alice replied, "Just listen to Carlisle."

"I already know what he's going to say." I grumbled, "I'm tired. I get it, okay? I get it, but I don't like it. I just want to go to bed."

Alice tried again, "Leandra-"

"Is that it?" I repeated Jacob's words, "Because if it is.." I trailed off, turning over. I kneeled up and pulled back the blankets on my bed. With a sigh, Alice looked to Carlisle. He understood, but sighed as he nodded.

Alice stood up, slowly moving for the still-open window. I laid down as she closed the window, locking it and fixing the curtains. With that, I rolled over. Facing the wall. They must have taken the hint, because they didn't try again. Leaving my room, closing the door behind them as they left.

Outside, it started to sprinkle rain. Light drops hitting the window. I decided that despite being able to hear the music continuing out in the rest of the house, I'd attempt to sleep. Part of me just wanted to curl up under the blanket, so it was a win-win.

I looked toward my window, giving one last look outside before letting my eyes close.

I didn't sleep that well that night. Kept awake by my own emotions. I managed to snooze now and then, but it was nothing like the way I'd been sleeping the last few days. I'd fall asleep for a little while, but wake myself up and the second I was awake enough to focus, I'd get mad again.

I had to wonder, though. Why couldn't I stay asleep? Something kept waking me up, and it wasn't because I was emotional. I was worked up. Edgy, and definitely tired enough to sleep, but it wasn't working.

Apparently, we were leaving to go meet Jacob early the following morning. I still hadn't quite recovered from the events of the night before. I was still bitter and mad, and by the way nobody approached, I knew I had every right to feel this way.

I stepped outside, trying to wake up and searching the trees briefly. I knew better, though. They weren't here. I only got madder with the thought that because they couldn't be here, they'd probably go to Seattle anyway. Because Mikah wasn't allowed to be here, he'd probably go looking for Jack for me. Maybe as a way to make it up to the family. If he got hurt because of this..

"Leandra?" Jasper's voice beside me on the porch had me looking over briefly, "Can I talk to you?"

"No." I grumbled, turning back into the house. He had nothing important enough to say that I needed to hear.

"I'm sorry." He sighed after me, "Your safety was more important."

"You never even gave him a chance." I argued anyway, "You just made him leave because you don't like him. How fair is that?"

"That isn't why I insisted for him to leave." He replied, "Leandra, you mean too much to us to let it slide that easily. He could have killed you." I'd heard that before.

"You never liked Mikah, even when he was human." I accused, "You've always hated him."

"Before," He explained, "It was about my ten-year-old sister drowning herself in a crush on a sixteen-year-old boy. You fell too hard too fast, and I wasn't comfortable with that. Not without knowing him and definitely not without knowing what his intentions were with you."

"It wasn't just about that." I countered, "He gets me like nobody else does. Not even you. Now, I don't even get that, because you think Mikah's just like every other newborn you've met before."

"Well-"

"That's like saying I'm like every other ten-year-old kid you've met before." I said, "It's not fair. It's stupid, and it just plain sucks."

With that, I rounded, and continued on into the house. Passed Alice in the doorway, ignoring her sad gaze following me.

"You're making a mistake, shorty." Emmett sighed as I passed him in the hallway. I returned to my room, knowing we still had a few minutes before we had to go. I chose to spend those few minutes laying across my bed.

I didn't even bother closing my bedroom door. It didn't do any good when I wanted to be alone anyway. Glancing to the clock as I laid on my bed, it was almost seven in the morning.

I couldn't help being so bitter. I'd just gotten him back, and without even a hint of a chance of holding onto him, he was gone again. Just yanked away because Jasper didn't want to give him a chance.

I couldn't have been laying there longer than thirty seconds, before I was suddenly startled into jumping up by a light shake to my shoulder. Scrambling forward in my surprise. Nearly running into the wall before I flipped over in a light sort of panic.

I hadn't had that reaction in awhile, so it surprised me.

"Leandra?" It was Esme. She had been seated next to me on the bed. Carlisle stood next to her, and they both were very concerned, "Are you okay?" When had they gotten here?

"Yeah." I took a breath, calming down, "You just surprised me. Why?"

"Because I've been here for over three minutes trying to get your attention." Well, that was a pretty decent reason to be worried.

"You were?" I asked.

"Didn't you hear me?"

"No." I replied honestly, but I didn't want to say much else.

Giving a glance around, I was once again the focus of attention. My bedroom doorway crowded, Alice the closest of the group there. I hadn't known anything about Esme being there. Looking to the clock again, six minutes had gone by since I'd last looked at the clock thirty seconds before.

My head ached a little, and it worried me to realize I didn't remember anything beyond coming in here and laying on my bed. I couldn't remember anything about that much time passing. Not falling asleep or any thoughts I'd had while laying in here. It felt a lot like a few months ago, when I'd go through those short self-forced naps as a result of that sleepless week.

"Sorry." I muttered, still confused.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" She asked again.

"Just tired, I think." She wasn't buying it, looking up at Carlisle, who was equally as concerned. I didn't want Esme to worry, so I sighed, "Are we going now?"

"Yes." She replied, seeming to let it go for now as she stood up, "I'll be the one carrying you." I nodded a little, scooting off the bed.

That had definitely been weird, but I felt fine, aside from the small headache I had. I was a little tired, but I definitely wasn't tired enough for a self-forced nap. I rubbed my eyes, and that seemed to help a little.

Once again, I was specifically told to stick with Esme. I was too tired to wander this time, so I just sat down on a fallen tree, knowing after awhile, standing would get uncomfortable.

I felt so much more physically comfortable now, however, considering I didn't have to wear that stupid dress again. Jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt was my outfit of choice, and I'd be happy if I never had to wear anything else again.

Edward was off getting Bella, so we just had to wait there. I shivered, mid-yawn. I was definitely tired, but I felt off. Too tired for the situation, but oddly fearful. The way I felt now had nothing to do with Mikah. I knew that much. In fact, I hoped he stayed away. For his own safety, I realized. What did that tell me? How could how I felt about the whole situation change that drastically?

"Leandra." Jasper was back to try again, "I was a little hard on you, and I want to apologize." I stayed silent.

I shrugged a little, reaching over and beginning to pluck the loose bark from the tree I sat on. Just to avoid looking at him. I honestly didn't even really care so much about that part anymore. Of course I cared, but it seemed so unimportant compared to everything else.

He seemed concerned now by my silence. I wasn't accusing him anymore. I wasn't angry. I obviously hadn't accepted it, but I wasn't telling him off.

"Leandra?" He prompted.

"Jazz." Alice came to his side, "I'd leave her alone for now." Jasper looked to her, "She's going to be a bit sensitive if I'm right about what happened to her." I glanced up, and she met my eyes. That was enough to tell me that she understood. She did know, but I sure didn't. What was she talking about?

"What happened?" He instantly asked, even more concerned. Alice looked to him, giving him a look, and I could look back down. Taking her advice, Jasper turned. Moving away from me, with a concerned glance back at me.

"Leandra." Esme had overheard, kneeling down in front of me, "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel very good." I admitted quietly. Which was true. I still felt sick. It felt oddly like the way I felt in the hospital the day Ken found me. I didn't know if it actually meant something, but it was definitely there.

"I know, sweetie." She sighed. I felt something like this after my usual bad nights as well, so it was easy for her to recognize my emotion, but this was a little different.

"Why are we here?" I asked, "I'm so lost."

"If we're going to stop the newborns, we'll need to learn the best ways to do that." She said, and I looked up, "Jasper's going to teach us." This worried me.

"How many of them are there?" I asked, my tone still quiet.

"We can handle it." She assured me with a smile, "Especially with Jacob's help. We just want to be careful, honey. That's all." Her confidence helped. A lot. Either that, or maybe I was just at my limit to how much I could worry about. Something else had taken most of that worry.

"Are Mikah and Cole going to help?"

"We're still discussing that." Esme replied sadly, "Not because we don't want their help, but because we don't want to put them in direct danger, despite how eager they are to help." I nodded a little.

"Glad to hear she's talking to someone." Alice muttered, stepping over, and I fell quiet again. It didn't seem like a sarcastic comment, but a genuine one. Sitting next to me on the log, I allowed Alice to fluff my hair a little. It was a comforting gesture, so I didn't see why I shouldn't. I just rested my chin on my drawn up knees, wishing I could feel better.

When I shut up, she sighed as Esme stood up and Carlisle stepped closer.

"What is it?" Esme asked her, "What do you think happened?"

"Think about it." Alice requested, "Did you recognize anything about what happened back home in her room?" It took a second or two, before Esme seemed to understand.

"Oh." She murmured, looking to Carlisle.

"What?" I asked, looking over at Alice, "What happened?"

"I'll explain it to you a little later in better detail," She replied, "But.." She hesitated, looking to Carlisle briefly before she spoke again, "You saw something."

"What did I see?" I frowned.

"You _saw_ something."

"Oh." I got it then, but then I frowned again, "But I wasn't asleep."

"I know." She smiled a little.

"I think I'd remember that." I doubted what she was telling me, "I don't remember anything."

"Seems to be a common pattern, doesn't it?" She asked in return, and I realized she was right. She smiled again, "I'll explain it a little more later, when we have more time, but I'm pretty positive that's what it was." Esme, smiling as well, sat to my other side. Could me seeing something have anything to do with why I felt so different today? I had a feeling it did.

I recalled easily how different I felt over a year ago, when I'd first had that dream about my family. I felt as different now, and equally as puzzled as I was then. It was one thing to dream about something like that while I was asleep, but for it to happen while I was awake? It was so weird to me.

My attention was taken by Emmett hitting the ground, Jasper standing where they'd both been standing, so I stashed those clues away for later. I didn't like seeing Emmett get hurt, given my deep frown. Before I could speak up, however, Edward chose that time to show up with Bella, and our conversation ended as he led her over.

"Hey." Bella greeted me, and I did try to smile, but I really didn't feel up to it. I knew I had to look horrible, as tired and emotional as I was, but she didn't comment on it. She saw herself the argument I'd been in the middle of the night before. That was probably more than enough for her to understand, as embarrassing as it was.

I chose to stay sitting as Esme stood up, until I saw what was coming.

Edward hadn't been here longer than a few minutes, until it got suddenly tense. Esme turned, and I looked the direction they were looking, amazed at what I saw coming over the ridge at the other end of the clearing.

Wolves. Lots of large, very large wolves. I stood up, and quickly stepped closer to Esme nervously, glancing up at her as she hugged me into her side.

"I remember them." I murmured under my breath, gaining both Esme and Carlisle's attention, "From last time. That's Jacob."

My eyes were on the reddish brown one. Its ears flattened a little, but that was it. The familiarity was undeniable. I'd seen them before, and once my initial fear faded, I could concentrate a little better on that familiarity.

"The big black one." I murmured, still under my breath, "That's Sam. I remember him, too. I remember all of them. I remember this."

Carlisle and Edward stepped forward, and I willingly stayed with Esme. Remembering these wolves didn't make it easier to like them. They were huge, and I had to admit, I was scared. One of their paws was easily bigger than my whole head.

Carlisle spoke briefly to the wolves, and I knew the wolves could understand him. Even without Edward reading their thoughts for him. I gathered as Jasper stepped forward that he'd be the one to teach them all about what it would take.

It didn't take long at all for both he and Jasper to talk to them, and when Jasper and Emmett faced off again, I watched this time. I hadn't been paying any attention before.

As soon as they met, I thought they would hurt each other, but almost immediately, Emmett hit the ground, and I frowned.

"Hey." I whined, "Don't do that." A grumble rolled through the group of wolves to the side, and I glanced over at them. The sound rather intimidating.

"They're training, Leandra." Esme murmured to me, "He's okay." Sure enough, Emmett stood back up with a huff. Not at all pleased, but unharmed. She laughed a little, "Just stay over here." I nodded. I'd stay out of the way, but I still didn't like it.

Jasper moved close enough to me at one point, and I kicked him in the leg as hard as physically possible, but being careful not to hurt myself. He turned, looking down at me in surprise. Glancing between where I'd kicked him, and my stern look. A smirk came to his face which I couldn't help feeling amused as well. It was kind of funny.

"Ow." I laughed a little. I wasn't seriously hurt, and both he and I knew that, so it was funny.

I let the training continue after that, staying out of the way and watching. I didn't like it, but I wouldn't interrupt anymore. Not as much, anyway.

"Easy." I whimpered with a wince, "Geez." This was hard on me, and Esme hugged me. Probably to keep me from running over and checking on them. It was hard to watch, but I also understood why this was important.

At one point, I looked over at Carlisle standing there observing. I was close to him, so I knew it was okay to move over to his side. I wouldn't be going far. Hesitantly, I stepped forward, and though Esme watched me, she didn't follow.

He glanced at me briefly as I came to his side. This wasn't easy for me, but some part of me knew I needed to do this.

"I'm sorry." I just came right out and said it as he looked at me again, "For.. Everything lately. For blaming you, for being so mad." I looked down, "I know why you wanted to help my mom, and I know why you told them to leave. I know why. I guess I just didn't want to."

"I completely understand." He replied, "Leandra, I didn't expect this to be easy. You've got to understand. You came to us, needing a drastic change. That drastic change completely changed everything about your life. That takes time to adjust to, and as much as I want to say we'll always get along, it's just not that simple. You may not always agree with the things we do, whether it be for your safety or in your mother's case, to help another. You may not agree with everything, but that's okay. Compromise is important." I nodded a little.

"Compromise is important," He went on, "And that's why I didn't send Mikah away." Surprised, I looked up, "I spoke to Cole early this morning about the possibilities of taking Mikah in."

"For good?" I asked, shocked.

"Preferably." He smiled a little, "The issue is your safety, but also your happiness. The solution took a bit of time to come to terms with, especially for Jasper, but I think it's definitely attainable.

"Once all of this is over with," He went on, "Once the situation in Seattle is handled, we'll look into it a little more. This way, Jasper is under complete control of Mikah while we teach him all we know about what it takes to resist a human. Jasper is in control of him, meaning discipline, careful observation, and diet."

I looked forward now, watching Jasper watching those paired off. He'd be willing to take Mikah on all the time?

"Why?" I asked, unable to help it.

"You've suffered so much." Carlisle replied with a sigh, "We changed your life, Leandra, but there was only so much we could do to make you truly happy."

"I was happy." I argued immediately. I hated that he thought I wasn't grateful.

"The bond you have with Mikah is something we've been waiting for." He explain, "It's something that obviously means a whole lot to him as well, if he went to such lengths to find you. It proves that you mean a lot to him. The kind of bond he has with you is something nobody is going to take lightly. Least of all, him. We're going to have to face it that sometimes, things really are as simple as they seem.

"The very last thing I want to do is let you down." He went on, "The moment he came back, we noticed a difference in you. A change in you that we've been worried was lost forever. He's reached you. Cutting a bond that strong from your life, no matter how much we don't like it, would have been a very big mistake. This is the best solution."

"Why didn't you just say so?" I asked, looking back up at him.

"You hardly gave me a chance." He replied simply, and wincing a little, I shamefully realized he was right, "You were upset. I wanted to give you the chance to calm down and come to me before attempting to go to you. I knew that would no doubt do the most good when it came to making progress on the issue. Until you calmed down, there would have been far less progress than there was just now."

He took a breath, before he spoke again.

"As for the situation with your mother," He murmured, "I feel like I owe you an explanation."

"No you don't." I shook my head a little, "I was being stupid. I know why you did what you did for her."

"I'd still like to give you an explanation." He insisted. I nodded, letting him know I was listening. Even if shame kept me from looking at him. He took a few moments, probably gathering his thoughts, before he sighed.

"Choosing who to add to my family was something that came as a big responsibility to me." He began, "Something I've always refused to take lightly." Was he including me in that? I didn't have long to wonder about that as he continued.

"I turned Edward at the request of his dying mother." He told me, "I saved his life, but not without a whole lot of personal conflict on my part. Not because I didn't want him to survive, but because I knew what I was doing by doing so." I listened intently, "Next followed Esme, who I just couldn't bear to let go. I couldn't. I needed to save her."

I didn't know whether to speak or not, so I stayed quiet, but the way he said spoke seemed full of more emotion than I could understand. I glanced up at him. I wanted to tell him that I was glad he did save her. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd be like without her.

"I turned Rosalie next," He went on in my silence, "In hopes that this life could be just a little better than the one she was leaving behind. She brought Emmett to me, and for the first time, I saw her hope. She needed this more than I can begin to describe. She needed me to save his life, so to speak, because she couldn't bear to let him go. Of course, my reasons don't justify my actions, but that's another discussion entirely.

"The point is," He murmured, "There are certain times when my compassion speaks to me the most. I care more for people than quite a few are able to comprehend, and that compels me to do everything I can for those suffering."

"Like you did for me." I muttered.

"You deserved someone to come through." He nodded a little, "You finally made the effort to reach out, and as I told you then, you deserved for someone to come through for you. If anything, just one time when you weren't let down. Do you remember?"

I looked down, biting my lip. I remembered that in full, terrifying detail. How scared I was when I ran, but I also remembered what it felt like to have him be the one to come through for me.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I remember."

"You needed someone." He pointed out, "But so did your mother. At most, I only expected to try to understand her story, but the more I listened, the more I felt for her and what she's endured.

"I wanted you to listen to her story, because I knew it was something you needed. Not only closure for you, but for her as well. I wanted you to talk to her, to listen to her, not just for your benefit, but for hers as well.

"You needed this more than I'm sure you realize, and if I could help you with that closure in any way, I'd do whatever it took. Talking with your mother, Leandra, is something you needed. Whether you realize it or not, that gave you what you needed to move on."

"I did." I admitted, "Realize it, I mean. I did."

"I have a reason for everything I do." He told me quietly, "I'm hoping one day you'll learn to trust me." I glanced up, watching as he gently patted my shoulder and walked away. Apparently, it was his turn to work with Jasper.

"Carlisle?" I called, and he paused, looking back at me, "Do you think I could ever learn how to be like that? Like you?"

"I have no doubt that you can." He replied with a small smile, "Everyone deserves a second chance, Leandra. Especially those that reach for it." Like I did. With that, he continued on. I watched after him, already thinking hard about everything he said.

Edward paused to speak to Carlisle quietly. It didn't seem like a bad thing, as Carlisle only nodded in confirmation. With that, I also turned. Moving back to Esme's side. I felt horrible about being such a bitch lately. Especially to someone like Carlisle.

Seeing the look on my face, Esme hugged me into her side. Once again, I honestly tried, but I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without Esme in it. I turned a little, and returned the hug tightly.

"Thank you." I mumbled, looking up at her.

"For what, honey?" She asked, smiling a little.

"This." I replied, hugging her tighter. She smiled a little more, lightly kissing the top of my head. Glancing over at one of the wolves watching me, I watched it right back. Knowing these wolves were supposed to be the ones helping my family, I had to trust them to keep their word.

By the time it was over, I'd gotten tired of standing. Sitting on my log again, watching everyone else. As interesting as it was to watch, I couldn't help feeling a little eager to go home. I was tired.

I watched the wolves leave, standing and stretching with a yawn. I decided to save my questions for home. I had a few, and not just about what Alice talked to me about when this all started, but I'd rather be home first.

I squeaked as I was suddenly lifted from behind. I recognized Emmett's arms around me, like a lifted backwards bear hug, so I just laughed a little.

"That was a good try." He told me with a smirk, "Defending me like that."

He tossed me up and flipped me around, holding me in his arms, almost cradling me as I looked up at him as I struggled to sit up. I didn't exactly appreciate the awkward position. Taking the hint, he righted me.

"So." He said, "What did you think of the wolves?"

I shrugged a little, "Bet they all have fleas." He started laughing, "What?"

"Be nice, shorty." He chuckled, "They're helping us."

"I know, I know." I grumbled.

"In her defense," Alice stepped over, "Jacob wasn't very pleasant to her yesterday."

"Oh?" Emmett asked, interested.

"He called her some not-so-nice things." She explained.

"Like what?"

"Ankle-biter," I reported, "He called me a pet, whiskey, and he called me a pre-leech." Emmett narrowed his eyes, looking to Alice, "That one doesn't count, though."

"Why doesn't it count?" He asked.

"Because I don't know what that one is supposed to mean."

"Good." Emmett muttered with a quiet chuckle, "Don't listen to him, shorty. At least you don't have fleas."

I stretched again, unable to help yawning.

"Tired?" He observed.

"Yeah." I replied, "I kept waking up last night."

"We're about done here." He assured me, "Then you can go home and sleep."

"Or try to." I corrected. Keeping me in his arm, he turned. Looking toward the rest of the family.

"Any objections to running her on ahead?" He asked, "Kid's bushed."

"We'll be along in a moment." Carlisle replied with a nod, giving him permission.

I didn't protest to shutting my eyes. It felt good to do so, resting them.

"Don't drop me." I told him, "I don't want to die. I haven't seen Hawaii yet." He actually had to try to keep from dropping me. I hadn't heard him laugh like that in awhile, which only made me laugh a little.

"Why can't you ever say this kind of stuff in front of everyone else?" He asked, "They'll never believe me if I tell them what you said."

"Because you're special." I immediately replied, keeping my eyes covered.

"Dang it, shorty." He chuckled.

I was dropped lightly onto the couch, landing with a slight bounce. After being carried to New York and back, being carried that short distance didn't bother me in the slightest.

"I thought I said not to drop me?" I barked at him. Unfortunately, he knew I was joking.

"Sue me." He said, poking his finger against my forehead.

"I just might." I pouted, looking away.

"Good luck with that one." He chuckled, sitting next to me. It was silent for a minute or two. For once, the TV wasn't on. Finally, he looked over, "Did you really see something?"

"I don't know." I replied honestly, "If I did, I forgot what it was. I just know that I was laying there for like thirty seconds, before Esme was there saying she'd been there for three minutes. With nothing in between."

"How does that not freak you out?"

"I'm pretty used to weird by now." I muttered, "If I try to figure it out, I'll just drive myself crazy. Even more crazy, I mean."

"You're not crazy." He replied, "You're my sister." I laughed a little at that reasoning. Like just because I was here, I couldn't be crazy.

"Then I should be surprised that I'm not even crazier." I countered. He sighed a laugh, hugging me into his side. I looked up at him, "If Carlisle didn't make them leave, where are they?" He knew who I was talking about.

"They went south." He replied easily, not bothered in the least, "They wanted to find the rest of Cole's coven."

"The rest?" I asked, surprised.

"You didn't know?" He asked, "Apparently, Cole has his own coven. Well, I guess it's not much of a coven. Just a group."

"The difference would be..?" I prompted.

"Coven, the leader is in charge." He explained, "Just a group, like Cole is doing, whoever has the best idea for fixing a certain problem is in charge. When there's no problem, everyone just does their own thing. Free to come and go as they please. It was Cole that brought that group together, so I guess in a way, he's the leader, but that doesn't really count."

"Oh." I said, nodding. That made sense.

"It's the best option for those nomads that don't want to fully commit or take on the full responsibility of a coven, but like the company." He went on, "And a pretty good idea, if you ask me."

"So why'd they go find them?" I asked.

"Well, Mikah is a part of that group." He reasoned, "He wanted a chance to see them one more time before joining us in a couple of days."

"Oh yeah." I should have figured that out.

"Just for a day or two." He assured me, "I think you'll live that long without him."

"Maybe." I added. That wasn't a joke, unfortunately. I even heard the truth in that one worded response. He looked over, about to respond, when his phone rang. Frowning, he reached into his pocket and pulled it out. I peered over curiously, not recognizing the number. It wasn't from around here, that was for sure.

I watched him answer it, as puzzled as I was. Understanding came to his eyes almost immediately.

"Yeah," He said, "She's right here." He held the phone out to me, and at first, I backed away from it. I didn't especially want to talk to anyone without knowing who it was. The last thing I wanted was for Jack to call.

"It's Alyssa."

"Oh." I muttered, taking the phone from him. Putting it to my ear, "Hey."

"Leandra." She sounded tired.

I sat up, "How's it going over there?"

"Not good." She admitted quietly.

"Why?" I asked, suddenly nervous, "What happened?"

"We left." She replied, "Last night." Worried, I looked over at Emmett. He had heard what she said. Nobody had been there to watch them, and something had happened.

"Why?"

"I threw a toaster at Sean, my mom's boyfriend." She admitted, and I blinked a little in surprise. Alyssa wouldn't do something like that unless she had a reason.

"You threw a toaster?"

"Yeah." She confirmed, "B-But I had to. I don't care if it hurt him. He hit Alex, so I just grabbed the toaster, and threw it at him."

"Is Alex okay?"

Before I'd even finished asking that, I picked up his voice from behind her, "Hi, Leandra." I couldn't help laughing a little.

"He's fine." She said, "Still a little mad, but fine. Thing is, Sean was picking on Emily, and she's been pretty sick lately. So Alex told him to leave her alone, and I guess Sean didn't like that."

"Jerk." I frowned, narrowing my eyes a little. I looked over as everyone else got back, coming in the door. Silently, as they could see the phone in my hand, but Emmett stood up to explain.

"Mom, though, wasn't so happy about what happened." Alyssa went on, not knowing about the audience she had now, "She got mad at me."

"She got mad at you for defending Alex?" This woman just got worse and worse the more I heard about her.

"Yeah." She repeated, "Me and her fought a little, and I knew when I wanted to throw something at her too that we had to leave. That, and she told us."

"She told you?" I asked, "To leave? She told you to leave when Emily's been sick?"

"Emily's gonna live. It was just a cold, but now it's just a cough." Sure enough, I heard said cough in the background, "It's gotten better from what it was. Mom said she never signed on for this, and told us we had to pack our stuff and leave. That was just fine by me. We'd be better off without her, anyway."

"I can't believe that." I wanted to hit the bitch myself.

"Mom of the year, for sure." She laughed a little, "But I'm not surprised. I expected it, but we would have left anyway. I stayed as long as I could, but I couldn't let Sean just get away with hitting Alex. I was standing there, and the toaster was just in my reach, so I.. Just grabbed it, unplugged it, and threw it across the kitchen."

"It made a really cool sound against his head." I overheard Alex add from beside her. I shook my head.

"Wait.." I sighed, "Does your dad know you left?"

"Probably not." She replied, "I haven't seen him yet. I don't think my mom would bother to tell him."

"Why not?" I asked, worried now, "You guys are out there on your own? Why didn't you call him first?"

"I don't have his number memorized, and I never wrote it down." She answered, "I was hoping you might be able to give it to me? This is my first time at a phone."

"Where is she now?" I looked over at Carlisle's concerned question. He'd obviously overheard.

"Where are you now?" I relayed the question, and she hesitated.

"General store somewhere." She replied, "First one we came across that let us use their phone." With a nod, I knew that Carlisle had heard, "We spent the night at a bus stop, Alex and me taking turns sleeping, so we could watch Emily. We started walking awhile ago, and three other places before this one wouldn't let us use their phone." She paused for a sigh, "I had the paper with Emmett's number, so he's the first one I could call. Sorry it's probably really early there-"

"It's okay." I stopped that apology right in its tracks, "I was up already. What's the name of the store?" She repeated it, and I looked over as Carlisle turned, his phone in his hand.

"Let her know to stay there." Carlisle told me, "I'll call their father."

"Carlisle's going to call your dad for you." I repeated for her, "So stay there."

I heard her sigh, "Thanks. I know he'll probably be pissed at us for leaving, but I'd rather be back with him than with her any day. I hate him, but he's my dad, you know?"

"I get it." I assured her, and I did.

She laughed, "Jon's going to be mad." She paused for a moment, before speaking again, "I gotta go. The guy wants his phone back."

"Let me know what happens, okay?" I requested.

"Okay." She agreed, "As soon as I can."

I sighed as she hung up first. I handed Emmett back his phone before I could throw it. That reminded me, though. I looked over at Carlisle where he stood talking on the phone.

"Talk to Jon." I told him, and he glanced to me, "Mikah said that Jon would take the money, even if their dad still won't." He gave a nod, letting me know he heard me.

"I guess my mom could be worse." I muttered, sitting back down next to Emmett with a sigh, "How did they put up with that for as long as they did?"

"Everybody's situation is different." Emmett replied, "They'd probably ask the same thing about your mom. It's about trying to see the other side of things for awhile. Trying to empathize with someone else's situation."

"Empathize?" I asked, unsure of what that word meant.

"Feeling for them." He explained, "Understanding what they're going through. You know what they call that? When you let yourself empathize with someone?"

I didn't, so I shook my head.

"Compassion." He answered, "Compassion is caring about someone else. Genuinely caring. Feeling bad when they feel bad, and that's a very good thing to have."

"It is?"

"Hell yes." He laughed a little as if it was obvious, "It means you haven't lost all of your humanity. There's hope for you, shorty."

"Is that why you kept pushing me to let my mom talk at me?"

"You just needed a little nudge." He smiled a little, but he didn't deny it, "Compassion, empathy, sympathy. It's all part of humanity, shorty. It's why you cried while listening to your mom. You cried for her, and what she was going through trying to make you see how much it hurt her. You saw that, you responded to that, and that proves that there's hope.

"It's stuff like that that tells us you're not a bad person. No matter what kind of thoughts run through that head of yours, you know the difference between right and wrong. You just haven't had the best role models in your life until now. Nobody to teach you. You're learning." He seemed so confident about that.

"So." I looked over as Alice landed next to me, "We need to chat."

"Have I ever told you that it makes me nervous when you're excited?" I asked, much to Emmett's amusement.

"No," She replied simply, "But it's easy to tell."

"I don't remember anything." I told her, "Like I told Emmett. I just laid on my bed, and like right after that, Esme was there asking if I was okay. Nothing in between."

"How did it happen when you first had a vision about us?"

"Well.." I sighed, "I was just laying there, and I woke up from it. I know I was asleep, because I could tell when I woke up, so today was different. All I could remember is the way I felt. I couldn't remember anything about why I felt that way."

"Did you feel any different today?" Emmett asked, and I hesitated. Looking down.

"Yeah." I eventually admitted, "I did." I frowned, "But if I can feel different, why can't I remember why I feel so different?"

"I'm pretty sure that has everything to do with how your brain works." Alice murmured. She paused, obviously thinking, "How much do you know about it?"

"My mind?"

"Your brain." She corrected, "There's a difference."

"Not much." Obviously.

"This might get complicated." Emmett pointed out.

She took a breath, "Okay." She turned to face me a little more, "Let's see if I can explain it in a way you can understand. We'll start with using your first vision as an example. You know how you forgot whatever it is you were dreaming about when you first woke up?"

"Yeah." Obviously.

"You didn't forget it." She went on, "It's still in there, but it's in a place you can't get to." I frowned a little, "You know all there is to know about it, but you can't reach it. You know how there are certain things you recall at seemingly random times? That's the vision. It's all stored in your subconscious."

I'd heard that word before, but I wasn't exactly sure what it actually meant.

"What you call 'knowing it without knowing it'," She explained, "Is you pulling information stored in your subconscious mind to your conscious mind. The best example would be your vision, or in this case, visions. You know details about it without realizing that you do. That's why you feel so different, but can't remember why you do."

"Oh." I mumbled, only partially understanding now.

"I don't doubt that your subconscious is working on that vision constantly." She said, "Always working on it. Sometimes it just takes a little while for you to understand it consciously. You see things you recognize from the vision, and it triggers your subconscious to tell you that you've seen it before. Like the wolves today."

"Like you." I pointed out.

"Exactly." She smiled.

I felt stupid not knowing all of this already, but she didn't seem annoyed in the slightest at having to explain it all to me. I looked over as Carlisle turned our way, now finished with his phone call. Obviously interested in the discussion we were having.

"It might be easier to explain first what a subconscious is." Emmett suggested, "She still seems lost." That would definitely help.

"What is a subconscious?" I asked.

"It's the part of the mind sometimes associated with unconsciousness." Alice explained, "You notice everything you see. Some things you automatically ignore, but you notice everything just the same. Your consciousness involves collecting information you're aware of. The things you notice, but it can only collect so much information at once. Are you with me so far?"

"I think so." I nodded a little.

"The subconsciousness," She continued, "Is the part of your mind that collects all the information your consciousness can't always notice or focus on. It's where your instincts are stored, smaller details, and things you can't fully understand at the moment. It holds onto everything you seemingly automatically ignore, so even if you ignore it, it's still there."

"You think that's where my vision is?" I asked, "That's where they go?"

"Highly possible." She replied, "You don't have the ability to see it all at once. There isn't enough room in there, so it's all getting stuck in your subconscious."

"The subconscious keeps the information that you can't process with full understanding." Carlisle spoke up, taking my attention as he explained it in a different way, "It also stores the information it deems too painful, or too overwhelming. It keeps the information for later recollection and retrieval by the consciousness at a more suitable needed time."

"And instincts?"

"Of course." He nodded, "The way you expect danger from every other human you encounter is an instinct and it comes from your subconscious. It's a survival skill learned from the time you were young, and reinforced every time you met danger at the hands of someone else."

"Oh." I muttered, "So like.. When I just know someone can't be trusted?"

"Like that." He confirmed, "Yes. You subconsciously look for hints or clues that can be compared to previous times. You recall previous times of trouble or danger to compare to the present, and it'll tell you whether or not to distrust someone."

"I didn't even know I do that." I laughed a little.

"That's because you don't do it consciously." He smiled a little as well, "It's how you knew we could be trusted when you only just met us. The way you argued with your belief was your consciousness and subconscious disagreeing with each other, so to speak. You knew we were able to be trusted, because you'd seen it in the vision stored in your subconscious, but you didn't want to believe it."

"Oh." That certainly made sense.

"It's where your trust of Heather came from. Though you don't consciously remember her, your subconscious did. You knew she was a good person, by how she treated you when you were young."

"Wow." I said. It was so weird thinking of it like that. I did understand, but it was so strange knowing this now.

"When you suddenly know something you didn't remember before," He added, "Most of the time, it can be associated with the subconscious part of your mind. The subconscious can be useful in many ways. It's typically easier accessed while you're asleep.

"As you get older, your consciousness will acquire more space, and I have no doubts that your subconscious will give more information to you more freely. Meaning, you'll recall more of the vision easier as you grow. Your mind right now is too young to handle everything it currently has stored, so it's protecting you by keeping it hidden away until it's absolutely necessary for you to know."

"That's why I don't remember anything until after it's already happened." I observed, and he nodded.

"Oftentimes, things stored in your subconscious can be recalled by a sensory trigger." He explained, "A sight, a sound. Smell. Something similar to what you have stored will bring bits of information forward."

"Like.." I murmured, "When I remembered I dreamed about you guys. I was looking back at Edward while Jack dragged me from the school."

"Exactly like that." He nodded.

"Now it makes sense." I replied, sighing, "Before that, it was just a feeling that I'd met them before. Alice, Edward. Jasper, and everyone else. It was just a feeling, and I didn't remember anything about why. Until we were leaving. Until Jack took me home."

"In the beginning, it was slow." He said, "But as more and more familiar things began to register to you, you began to remember more. You had such trouble remembering in New York because none of that was familiar to you."

"Nothing but Mikah." I pointed out, "And I guess I tried to remember too much about him." I sighed, "I know there's more there. It wasn't just him I was trying to remember. It was something else, because it was, is important."

"It'll come in time." He assured me, "When you're ready to see it, you'll see it again." I sighed, nodding again.

"Is that why you say not to push it?"

"Your mind knows your limits and capabilities more than I do." He pointed out, "If you cannot remember it on your own, it's for a reason. It'd be dangerous to push it's progress."

"Okay." I murmured, nodding a little.

"But it's not all good." He went on, "I also have no doubts that there are things stored in your subconscious that shouldn't be there."

"Maybe that's why I think the things I think."

"I assume so." He replied, "In most cases, those things don't just come naturally to people. In your case, it's a learned behavior. Something taught to you by someone when you were too young to know better." By someone, he meant Jack.

I looked down.

"Before, when you were too young to question," He said, "Or understand, he taught you those things and that way of thinking. That's why you don't see it as something wrong. It's normal to you, because it's the way you were raised, but as Emmett pointed out, you're learning."

"I hope so." I admitted.

"You're showing amazing progress, Leandra." He assured me.

"Now," Alice spoke up, "About the vision you had today, what can you tell me about it?"

"I don't remember it."

"I know that." She replied, "I mean what is it telling you? You said you felt different. Different how? Different good, or different bad? There's a lot that goes into these things, and you don't need to actually see whatever it is to figure out what needs to happen."

"Different bad." I mumbled, "Definitely different bad."

"Okay," She nodded, "Now separate it. Bad how?"

"What do you mean?"

"How are you feeling about this different bad?" She asked, "Sad, angry, scared-"

"Scared." I replied, "Kind of sick, like I felt the other day when Ken found me." She didn't like that, giving a glance to Carlisle.

"You were actually sick that day?"

"I threw up all over his car." I muttered, "Yeah. I was sick."

"Honestly, I thought you were fibbing." She sighed, "Okay. Well, see. Now we know to be careful. To keep an extra eye out for anything that might come along."

"How?" I asked, "With the newborns coming-"

"We'll manage it." She assured me, "Don't go underestimating us now."

That reminded me, though, and I looked to Carlisle.

"You're training to fight the newborns?" I asked. He picked up on my nervousness.

"Don't worry." He assured me, "With the wolves, our chances have dramatically increased." That wasn't my only concern. One of the bigger ones, but not the only.

"Where am I going to be?" I asked quietly, unsure.

"That's the issue." He admitted with a sigh, "I will not have you anywhere near that fight." He glanced to Jasper, before returning his gaze to me. I briefly wondered if that had been suggested, but I shuddered at just the thought. I honestly wasn't sure if I would even want to be anywhere near that fight.

"And I don't want you left alone." He continued, "That honestly doesn't leave many options. I think it would be best to have someone take you for the night."

"Not my dad." I muttered, "They've got the baby."

"I thought of that too." He replied, "So Heather would be our best option."

"I don't want to go over there." I argued a little, "I haven't talked to Zack since he slapped me, and it's going to be really weird."

"What better way to make up with him?" Jasper brought up, "I think Heather's house would be best for you."

"I don't." I said, shaking my head.

"Then what would you suggest?" Jasper asked, "You can't be there while we're busy. You can't stay here on your own."

I didn't have the answer to that, but I really didn't want to go to Heather's. For once, I didn't want to. I just wasn't up to it this time.

I whined, laying back.

"I know." Jasper sighed, "I understand. In a time like this, you just want to stay where you feel safe, but it's not possible without us around to watch you."

"How am I any safer there than here on my own?" I asked, "What happens if some stupid newborn takes a shortcut, and finds the town anyway? I'd be better off here, out of the way than I would be there."

As it turned out, I didn't even have to argue. Heather wasn't available to watch me. She and Mike had taken the boys out of state for the week. Just as well, for their own safety. Zack was grounded anyway, so with a lot of apologies, she had to decline.

So the subject moved on to whether to risk leaving me here on my own, or risk sending me to my dad's house with a fragile new baby and a bratty six-year-old sister at my disposal. I might have been learning, but not fast enough to trust me like that.

That was even if he was up to watching me. He was no doubt up to his knees in new baby stuff to do and sleeplessness, and wouldn't be able to give two seconds of attention to me, much less watch me for two days. I'd have plenty of opportunity to do something I'd no doubt regret, since I didn't exactly get along with Lily.

It certainly looked like I'd be getting my way, but it wasn't definite yet. It wasn't until Edward and Bella showed up at the house that a suggestion was made. They arrived, and at first, I was surprised to see Bella. She didn't often make appearances around here. Not that I'd seen anyway.

They caught onto the conversation rather quickly.

"She has nowhere to go?" Bella asked, trying to understand.

"Her.." Edward had to pause to find the right word, "Rather violent upbringing has left her with a few issues of her own that make it difficult to find a place for her."

"Is it that bad?" Bella asked, "I mean, it's not her fault. Cut her some slack."

"Oh," Emmett chuckled, "You have no idea."

"It's a little harder than cutting her some slack." Jasper told her, "She's still learning how to be human."

"Is it that bad?" She asked again.

"Yup." I muttered from where I half laid, slouched on the couch. They were right to be nervous. I'd been warning them long enough, and they were starting to take me seriously. Bella was trying to talk them back into doubting me.

"She doesn't seem that bad to me." She reasoned, "I think she's just misunderstood. A past like hers isn't easy."

"I agree." Carlisle spoke up, "Her past was far from easy, but the things she was taught makes this an issue now."

"They don't want me to stay here on my own." I told her, looking over at her where she sat on the other end of the couch, "They say it's too dangerous."

"What about her father?" Edward asked.

"Let's let this little monster loose in an apartment with two distracted adults, and a helpless six year old." Emmett replied sarcastically. I grinned.

"Why not?" Bella asked.

"No offense," Emmett replied, "But that's a _horrible_ idea. We drop her there and the next thing we know, the whole apartment building will be burned to the ground, or someone's bound to be buried underground, stuffed into a trash bag, or thrown out the window."

"No." She tried to argue for me, "She wouldn't do that." She looked to me.

"You're only giving me ideas." I pointed out, lightly kicking the coffee table, "Maybe all three of those. I could stuff her into the trash bag, and toss it out the window into a hole. Then I'd bury her."

Bella suddenly looked seconds from throwing up. Completely horrified. I smiled over at her as innocently as I could, making her stand up. I laughed to myself, shaking my head. She was starting to get it, looking to Edward in surprise. He gave a nod.

"No." Emmett told me, "Bad, shorty. Stop that."

"It'd be like basketball." I reasoned, "Wouldn't it be nice of me to play with my sister?"

"But the trash bag?" Bella asked incredulously.

"I'd stab holes into it." I shrugged.

"I see your point." Bella muttered, quite a few shades paler. I stopped trying to freak her out at that point. Even though it was easy to do. I sighed, plopping a couch pillow over my face.

"So yeah." Emmett sighed, "That's a very bad idea. Heather can't take her, because she's not around. Who can babysit someone like her, besides the local mental hospital?"

"I thought you wanted to keep me out of one of those?" I asked, my voice muffled by the pillow, "That's what Alice said."

"We won't be around to watch her," Emmett went on, ignoring me, "We're not dropping her at her dad's, and Heather's gone. So this is a problem."

It was silent for a moment, and I took the opportunity to rest my eyes. Doing what I could to stifle a yawn, I laid to the side. Rolled in a ball on the couch now, I glanced over briefly as I noticed Bella watching me.

She didn't seem nervous anymore, but sad as she studied me. I didn't quite understand what made her so sad, but I didn't want to ask either. I got that look a lot. Usually from those that didn't really know me that well, or was seeing me for the first time. I'd gotten that same look from my dad, my mom, Heather. Those that were just starting to get to know me.

I sighed, cuddling the couch pillow. That was how I was comfortable, with my arm around something while I laid on my side. The day had been too busy for me so far, and without much sleep, it was hard on me.

"Sorry." I eventually said, looking to Bella as I cleared my loose hair from my face, "I'd never hurt anyone if I could help it."

Smiling a little, she seemed to appreciate that.

"I just get ideas like that." I explained, "But I've never actually done anything like that." I didn't exactly want her to be afraid of me. It was odd, but I wasn't nervous around Bella like I would have been around anyone else I didn't know that well. I liked her.

"I believe you." She told me with a nod, looking down.

"She's learning." Jasper stuck up for me, "Slowly, but it's a little difficult to overwrite every other influence she's had growing up."

"She learned that from one person?"

"One person." Jasper confirmed, "One man, who fails horribly at being human."

"Now I see why you couldn't let her go to anyone else." She nodded again, "If it was bad enough for her to learn all that, it must have been so hard on her." Though it did annoy me a little the way she spoke about me as if I wasn't here, I could see her point. I gathered that Edward had only filled her in so much.

"Only as much as was necessary." Edward confirmed, "I prefer not to talk about someone while they're not around." I nodded a little. I was used to it, though. Being discussed was my main purpose around the house.

"So she's got a few quirks." Emmett muttered, "Nothing that can't be worked out." I smiled a little at him. He'd always been the one that stuck up for me.

"Undoubtedly." Edward replied, "I don't believe that sort of thing is permanent."

It fell silent again as everyone went back to thinking. Probably what to do about me. It was Emmett that found the solution. I looked up as he smirked and looked over at Carlisle.

"I think we just found a job for Mikah."

I sat up, the couch pillow rolling away from me onto the floor, suddenly smiling.

"No." Jasper said before I could get too excited.

"Why not?" Emmett asked, "If Cole is with him, what's the problem? He's gotten away with keeping an eye on his siblings from a distance. Just like this."

"He might be willing to risk their safety like that," Jasper replied, "But I'm not willing to risk Leandra's safety. Leaving her here alone, with him watching the place is just asking for trouble. I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it." Emmett argued, and I smirked a little at that statement. Mikah told me the same thing, "It's the best option right now, and you know it. We can't be here to watch shorty ourselves, but _they_ can. You're going to have to learn to trust him sooner or later."

"I agree." Carlisle spoke up, "I think it's the best option."

"Who's even to say he'd want to do us such a favor?" Jasper asked.

"He'll want to." Emmett replied confidently, "You know he'd do back-flips at any opportunity to be helpful when it comes to protecting shorty." I laughed a little at that image, "Not even considering the way he really wants you to like him."

Jasper sighed, "I was a bit harsh, but he needs to understand the boundaries."

"I agree with Emmett." Edward spoke up, and I looked over at him, "Mikah would rather tear his own hands off than hurt her." I winced a little. I didn't want to think about him getting hurt. He went on, "He genuinely cares about her, and never would have approached had he not been certain that he could. It's dangerous, for sure, but it is the best option."

When Jasper didn't immediately argue again, I knew they had done it. They'd talked him into giving them a real chance to pull this off.

"It's more of a punishment anyway." Emmett added, "Let them babysit her."

"Hey." I muttered.

"Sorry," Emmett chuckled, "But it's true."

"Alright." Jasper replied, "Alright, fine. They can watch her, but only if Cole refuses to let Mikah out of his sight, and only if Leandra agrees to stay inside the house at all times. I don't want to take any chances."

"Leave it to me." Emmett smiled a little, "I'll recruit them. Trouble is finding them, but no biggie. I'll figure it out."

"Thank you." I told him before he could turn for the door. He smiled a little at me, playfully covering my face with his palm again.

"Take a nap." He told me, "You're tired, remember?"

"I'm afraid to." I admitted, "What if I remember what I'm not supposed to remember yet?"

"You can't start that again." He immediately told me, "If you're going to remember it, you'll remember it whether you're awake or asleep."

"But it'll happen easier if I'm asleep." I pointed out.

"Do I have to guard your door again?"

"No." I said, pointing toward the door, "Go get Mikah."

"Geez," He grumbled, "You're bossy."

"You're welcome." I sighed, flopping back. He found that amusing, given his chuckle, but he shook his head and turned. Rosalie followed him, probably wanting to go with him to keep him company.

"I'm assuming you won't take anything to help you sleep?" Carlisle asked, and I immediately shook my head. Common sense should have answered that one for me. Especially after what I'd gone through with Ken. It wouldn't be the same, but it'd be too similar for my comfort. I felt like throwing up at just the mention.

I laid there for a moment or two, trying to think. All these abilities around us, and there wasn't one that could take thoughts. If only there was some way to distract myself, the way I used to in New York, while I was asleep. I couldn't exactly read a book while I was asleep, but I was genuinely afraid of what I could see while I slept. If it was bad enough to make me have a vision like that, what could have it been about?

I couldn't read a book, and I couldn't watch TV, but maybe if I listened to something while I slept, it would be enough to distract my thoughts? I knew I could still hear stuff while I was asleep, but that was about the only thing I could do. I doubted listening to the snow-globe's song would work anymore, as I'd heard it so often, I'd probably tune it out by now.

As I laid there, my eyes opened at the sudden sound of the piano being played. It was as quiet as Edward could make it. Leaning up a little, I peered over the edge of the couch's armrest at where he sat.

I'd never heard him play this song before, but I liked it. It sounded like it could have been a tune from a music box itself, but a softer, less sharp piano version. It was a sad sound. Haunting, but sweet and soothing at the same time. I never knew a song like that could make me want to cry but make me happy at the same time. It was simple in its own way, but so complex, beautifully put together.

I honestly didn't know how he did it, but it held my attention. I related to it, this song with no words, and it was amazing. It amazed me how anyone else could play that song, and it'd probably sound dull compared to the way he played it now.

He glanced over at me with a small smile, and other than the sound of the piano, it was silent. After that brief look, I settled back down. I knew what he was doing. He was giving me something to listen to, and I appreciated this more than he knew. I knew he wouldn't be able to go to these lengths every time I had to sleep, so I'd make the most of this.

Curled up the way I was, it was easy enough for Esme to settle a blanket on me. She seemed to understand what he was doing as well. She smoothed my hair from my face, and I glanced up at her gratefully. It was bugging me.

As messed up as I was, I really had to admit. I wouldn't trade where I was right then for anything in the world. I didn't deserve such a family, and I knew that, but I needed desperately to hold onto it. As messed up as I was, they kept me.

Thankfully, I fell asleep to those thoughts. Almost immediately, listening to the quiet sound of the music Edward played for me, I dropped off to sleep.

**A/N: A little shorter than my usual chapters, but in this case, I'm happy with it. :) The end of this chapter was a little sappy for my taste, but why not?  
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewers of last chapter! 100x Edward's piano songs for each of you! :D**  
**Chapter Eleven is taking some time, but I'll be working on putting that together now that I've got this one out for you guys. :)**  
**Until Eleven, my friends! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"That's close enough." I stirred slightly at Jasper's heated whisper, hating the fact that I'd been woken up. I whimpered, taking a waking breath and rubbing my nose a little with my fingers, as my hair was tickling it.

"Aw," Emmett sighed, "You woke her up."

Frowning a little, I opened my eyes, and I noticed how I laid. Somehow, I'd been cocooned in the blanket, but Esme held me in her arms. Safely laying across her lap. I looked up at her briefly, wondering how long she'd been holding me.

She'd been able to move me without me waking up, which hadn't happened in awhile. I didn't mind this. I recognized her arms holding me the second I was conscious, so I never got worried.

I was sort of curled, my arms tucked to my chest in the blanket. It didn't bother me, but I had to turn to look back at those watching me. Jasper was closest, but he wasn't watching me. He was watching Mikah.

As much as I wanted to say it was over, though, I'd dreamed about my mom while I slept. It wasn't so bad, considering what else I could have dreamed about, but it still bothered me.

"Uh-oh." Emmett muttered, "I know that look." I rolled forward again. Hiding my face in the blanket for a moment.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Esme asked, but it didn't surprise me that she'd noticed.

Seeing my mom again had obviously upset me more than I wanted to admit, but I couldn't help admitting it now. I understood, but I didn't want to. I wanted to keep hating her. I wanted to hate her for what I was put through because of her. I wanted to hate her for everything I had to do for her. I wanted to hate her, because I was the one that took care of her all that time, and it wasn't fair.

I hated the way it still hurt, and I hated the way I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Being let down that badly for so long was something I'd probably never get over.

While I dreamed, I also figured out what bothered me so much about the baby. I figured out why I hated him so much. It wasn't just that he was Jack's son. It wasn't knowing exactly how that baby was made, as much as that grossed me out.

It was that I'd been replaced. As soon as possible, she'd replaced me. Just like my dad had. That was a tough thing to come to terms with.

Taking a breath, I looked back again at everyone standing there, and sat up on Esme's lap. Fixing my shirt as I did so, as it started choking me.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah." I replied, "Just not used to being stared at while I'm asleep." He smirked. He knew by the way I joked that I was okay. I took the opportunity to stretch a little. After being so curled up, it felt nice.

I smiled a little as I saw Mikah, and he returned it. They'd let him inside again, but apparently, Jasper didn't like Mikah this close. Hardly arms length, but it was enough to make Jasper uncomfortable.

"Whatever Eddy did to that song," Emmett muttered, "He needs to do it again."

"It's apparently something he's been thinking about for awhile." Jasper replied.

"It was gorgeous." Esme spoke up as she smoothed my hair in the back, "Easily one of his best, in my opinion."

"Only because he wrote it for shorty." Emmett laughed a little.

"Not only." She corrected, "But I do think it was sweet of him to do that for her."

I chose to stay sitting right where I was. I was comfortable here.

"I still need to thank him." I mumbled, giving a glance around, "He likes to disappear before I can do that." It was at that moment that I realized how long I'd slept. It was dark outside now, darkness replacing the daylight that had been there when I'd fallen asleep.

I wasn't exactly complaining. I hadn't expected to see Mikah so soon. I thought I'd have to wait a little while before he'd be ready to come back here.

"How are you feeling?" Esme asked, and I knew why she'd ask.

"I'm okay." I mumbled, looking down.

"You dreamed, though." Emmett said, "Didn't you?"

"Yeah." I replied, "But not about anything important. That song probably won't work again, though."

"You don't know that." Esme reasoned, "I think it's worth another try." I lightly rubbed my eyes for a second, before looking around.

"Where's Carlisle?" I wanted to ask him how the talk with Alyssa's dad went. I never got to that.

"He's in New York." She replied, "Apparently, Alyssa running away like that was enough to convince Grant to take the money." I smiled. That was good news. I liked good news. Especially now.

"He'll be back tomorrow after he has a chance to talk with him a little more." She went on, "Oddly enough, nobody can seem to find Sean."

Mikah, standing a bit away, whistled innocently and looked away.

"_That's_ where you went?" Jasper asked him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He smiled a little. I couldn't help laughing, knowing full well what he did.

"Mikah." Jasper sighed, obviously not approving.

"I left him alive." Mikah admitted, "He just might have trouble remembering things for the rest of his life. I think I might have rearranged the inside of his head, when I used it to rearrange that brick wall, but he was alive when I left him."

"Like you wouldn't do the same thing." Emmett added toward Jasper, "I have."

"I didn't do that with my mom." Mikah went on, "Because I knew I wouldn't leave her alive." I winced a little, "Kicking them out like that? What kind of a person does that?" I looked down. It seemed a little selfish of me to be so preoccupied with my own mom when theirs was so much worse.

"Alyssa says she wasn't surprised." I admitted, looking over at him.

"Me either, really." Mikah replied, "But it bothers me that I'm not surprised." I nodded. I could understand that.

"But Alyssa's okay now, right?" I asked, looking to Esme.

"Jon picked them up." She answered, "They're fine." I nodded again. With that discussion over with, I could let myself wake up a little more. I stretched again, but I was distracted momentarily by Alice suddenly appearing beside Jasper. Though it did startle me a bit, I recovered before I even made a noise.

Sitting still for a moment, I kept my eyes down and continued to think. Thinking back to my dream.

My mom didn't even try. She let him do whatever he wanted with me, and she didn't do a damn thing about it. To me, that was so much worse than all the years combined of being ignored by sleep. She knew I needed her help, but she never even tried. She just gave up. All those years, she could have tried again. I didn't care if he eventually found us. Anything would have been better than her just giving up.

It bothered me. I had questions. Ones I knew would probably never be answered.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked, catching onto my emotion, and I shrugged a little as Esme's arms tightened around me.

What was so wrong with me? What had I done so wrong to her to no longer deserve what a loving mother could give me? Had I made her mad? Had I disappointed her so much, that she could no longer afford to love me? Was I just not worth saving? Did I do something, say something that told her I was no longer worthy?

"What is it, princess?" Mikah asked, and I couldn't even look at him this time.

I knew they were worried about me.

"Why is it so easy to replace me?" I asked quietly, and I knew I gained several gazes. Except for Mikah. He looked down.

"What do you mean?" Esme asked, and I hesitated.

"Why was it so easy for her to replace me?" I reworded the question, and I knew she understood now, given the way she smoothed my hair now.

"Oh, honey." She sighed sadly.

"Maybe I just wasn't good enough." I mumbled, "I tried. I did everything I could to make her love me, but I guess it wasn't enough. She just didn't want me."

"I _know_ that's not true." Esme replied, "Why would she go through all she did just to talk to you if she hadn't wanted you?"

"Do you think she'll treat him better?" I asked, glancing up at her briefly, "Hunter?"

"I can't say." She admitted quietly.

"Probably." I mumbled, inspecting the bottom of my shirt. I sighed, "He's going to turn out exactly like Jack. I'm glad I'm not around for him to train on."

I was just thinking out loud. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Alice look to Jasper beside her. It wasn't a happy look, I noticed, as I looked her way. Something in that look told me I'd stepped on a subject they were hoping I wouldn't step on.

"What?"

"Don't worry about it, shorty." Emmett told me, "It's nothing." Him telling me that it was nothing automatically made it into something.

"I still say we should tell her." Alice murmured, shaking her head. Emmett looked to her, knowing that statement would ensure I wouldn't let it go.

"Tell me what?" I asked, sitting up.

"Oh boy." Emmett sighed, "Here we go."

Esme sighed as well, probably deeply disagreeing with Alice. Given the other looks to Alice, not many agreed with her. I was getting worried, though. Did this have anything to do with what I couldn't remember yet?

Alice sighed, "Let's just say-"

"Alice." Esme interrupted her firmly, and I knew she just really didn't want her to say anything. I glanced to her, my nervousness quickly rising.

"She deserves to know." Alice argued, "It's not fair. Honesty, remember?"

"It's not fair to freak her out, either." Emmett countered, "This is different. This isn't just some random little thing we can tell her. Telling her this would do more bad than good."

"I agree." Esme murmured.

Emmett went on, "What she-"

"Yes, what she doesn't know will hurt her." Alice told him, "The sooner she knows-"

"The sooner she knows, the more she's allowed to be afraid." Jasper was actually disagreeing with Alice, "We just got her pointed toward the right track. You don't know what this will do to her." The fact that Jasper disagreed with her worried me even more. That meant it had to be something bad. Something big.

"Just tell me." I murmured, "Please."

"Leandra, believe me." Jasper looked to me, "This is something you don't want to know." That just made me want to know it even more. I fidgeted a little nervously where I sat on Esme's lap.

I looked to Alice. She returned my gaze, and I could see how much she wanted to tell me, but with Carlisle's firm no, she wouldn't.

"And besides." Emmett murmured, "We can fix the problem before she even has to know about it. Especially now that you can see the fucker." _That_ I understood. It was about Jack. That was the subject they were hoping I wouldn't step on.

"This is about Jack." I pointed out, "Something's different."

"New subject." Emmett immediately said, confirming my worries, "We should get a puppy. Do you want a puppy, shorty?"

"No." I muttered, frowning a little.

"We're not getting a puppy." Esme sighed.

Alice shook her head, "You can't just throw animals at her when you don't want to face a subject, Emmett."

"It's bad, isn't it?" I whimpered, "I'm gonna die."

"No you're not." I was told by three others at once. Including Alice, so that made it a little more believable.

"Once we have the time to devote to him," Jasper told me, "The problem is going to be solved."

"What problem?" I asked, looking around.

"That's okay." Emmett grumbled sarcastically when Esme sighed, "Go ahead and tell her. It's not like she needs to sleep. Ever again."

"We're not going to tell her." Esme finally said, and Alice sighed this time, looking at her as Rosalie descended the stairs, "Alice, you haven't seen her like that yet. The last thing we need is for her to act on an impulsive decision."

Mikah pursed his lips, looking down again. He knew what it was.

"Mikah?" I muttered.

"Yes?" He replied, glancing up.

"You know, don't you?"

"I know." He confirmed, "But I won't tell you. Sorry, princess, but they're right. It'll do you no good to know."

Alice huffed, obviously disagreeing. I huffed as well, knowing this was going to bother me.

"Could this be what I had that vision of?" I asked. I at least wanted that answer. Alice tensed, looking up. Like she hadn't thought of that yet, and I'd just pointed it out.

"Do you think?" She asked, looking up at Jasper.

"I think it's possible." He murmured, "We won't know until she remembers whatever it is."

"Then I really hope she doesn't." Emmett muttered. I sighed, looking down again. I wasn't going to get my answer, but that didn't surprise me. I looked over at Mikah.

"Sorry you had to be dragged back here so soon."

He smiled a little, "I'd rather be here. You know that."

"It won't be easy to watch me." I warned him.

"That's nothing new." He countered, "And yes. I know the rules."

"Good." Jasper said, "Keep them in mind."

"Scout's honor." Mikah replied, looking over at him.

I was quiet from there, leaning against Esme. She didn't seem to mind letting me stay there, for which I was grateful.

Carlisle hadn't taken long to get back home. It wasn't even ten in the morning yet before he was back. I stood up from my place at the counter, attempting to eat, and immediately hugged him.

"Thank you." I told him, "For helping them like this." He chuckled a little, returning the hug.

"You're quite welcome, Leandra." He replied. I looked up at him.

"How was she?"

"She and the others were just fine." He answered, "Pretty excited, actually. I highly suggested less sugar for breakfast." That sounded like her.

"You gave them a house." I reasoned, "A way to stay together. I don't think sugar had anything to do with it. Wouldn't you be that excited if you had to leave half of your family behind like that? I know I would."

"Excellent point." He admitted, nodding a little.

"You have been." I turned a little at Emmett's reminder in the doorway, "Remember when we first got back here from New York?"

"I remember." I smiled a little, finally letting go of Carlisle, "But that was different."

"Not really." He shook his head, "We were getting Eddy back. You just didn't know that yet."

"Then that doesn't count." I argued, "But that was nice. Like an added bonus."

"You haven't been that excited since." Emmett pointed out, "Maybe we should move away more often."

"No." I immediately barked, "No more moving." He laughed.

"We're going to have to eventually."

"Then no more moving without my say so." I muttered, sitting back down.

"Oh, boy." Emmett chuckled, "Maybe Mikah isn't such a good thing for her."

"What?" I asked, "Why?"

"Because when he's around, you get bossy." He said, "Must be something about knowing that you could tell him to do anything and he'd do it. That kind of responsibility is going to your head."

"What's so bad about her being a little bossy?" Esme asked, "I think it's a good thing."

"I agree." Carlisle replied. I had to test it, though.

"Mikah." I called.

"Princess." He called back from the living room.

"Do a back flip." An alarming thud from the floor in just the other room seconds later had Esme glancing worriedly into the living room, and me laughing as my seat jumped a little. It had my plate rattle and the water in my glass swashing back and forth, "Thank you."

"No problem."

"I rest my case." Emmett chuckled. I smiled a little, looking back down at my plate. Fixing its position in front of me.

"How about we don't tell him to do anything that will damage the house?" Esme laughed a little, but her concern was still evident.

"He'd fix the hole." I replied confidently.

"Ha!" I faintly heard Mikah's chuckle, smiling in response.

I looked over at Carlisle, "I wish I could have been there."

"You needed to rest." He replied.

"I know." I muttered, "But I still wish I could have been there. Just to see them."

"Maybe after all this is over I'll take you there again." Emmett spoke up, "You've been pretty good about everything. Except for the whole thinking Mikah was exiled thing-"

"I know." I repeated, looking down, "I couldn't help it, though."

We stayed there, and I eventually did eat. I made it through the day, nothing really special happening. I was still a little tired, but that didn't surprise me. My head really didn't start aching until after dinner. The hour or so before I decided to give sleeping an attempt, before my head could hurt too bad.

A decision I would quickly come to regret. I never put two-and-two together. I figured it was a normal headache, something all humans got once in awhile.

My dreams weren't tolerable anymore. They scared me again. Like I was dreaming about something I hadn't seen before, but I recognized it as if I'd seen it a million times.

I could see his eyes. Jack, his face right in front of mine.

The way he glared into my eyes, the way he always had was burned into my memory, but it was different this time. The words he said to me were different. I couldn't completely understand the words that he said, as I had the heavy, suffocating fog of sleep over my mind, but I knew they were different. His voice wasn't the same. Very similar, but somehow, drastically different.

It was darker, heavier. Something I'd never forget.

His hands held my head between them. Holding, squeezing painfully, pinning me and I was petrified. I sensed the danger through every part of me, just like I always did, and I couldn't look away. Fear stole my breath, and I felt seconds from either passing out, or throwing up. The crushing weight of both terror, and hopelessness speared me to the spot. There wasn't anyone to save me this time.

Just like so often before, I woke up panicking. Literally fighting free from the weight of sleep. A deep gasp just barely audible through the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. Followed immediately by the choking sob that escaped. The first of many.

It was worse now, because I knew something I didn't know before I fell asleep, or even while slept. I would see him again. How or when were things that dream hadn't answered, but I knew without a doubt in my mind anymore. Something that was happening now would lead him to find me.

Without a doubt, without a question or even attempt at hope, I knew for positive certainty that Jack wasn't done with me. He wasn't done. Not by a long-shot. The next time I saw him, I wouldn't get away again.

My breath stuck, like breathing glass in my throat. Even causing me pain with the attempts.

I wasn't upright more than ten seconds until there was someone with me. It was Esme. Clearly, she only thought I'd had a normal nightmare. That wasn't a normal nightmare. I knew the difference now.

However short, and very frighteningly vague it had been, that had been a vision. A vision of what was coming for me.

Outside, the rain dumped. Almost loudly hitting the window, which told me I hadn't been asleep that long. I ached. I hurt in the worst ways, knowing no matter what I did, he would find me. That hurt a great deal to realize.

I had to eventually move away from Esme's attempts to hug me. Just like I would have done with any one of them, and something I hadn't had to do in several weeks.

After a dream like that, any type of physical contact wasn't something I could tolerate. I didn't like feeling trapped in any way. I just needed to get back to myself before I'd want a hug or any other comforting gesture of the sort. I knew immediately. I could feel it. Figuratively, I'd once again just taken three steps back to my steps forward.

Beside me, Esme watched me falling to pieces. I looked to my hands, almost unable to believe how hard I shook, until I knotted them in my hair. I was drowning again, and there was nothing anyone could do now. Not now that I knew, and fully realized. I wasn't safe. I'd never be safe.

"Carlisle." Esme called, and I knew what was going to happen. Once again, I was going to be a fascination. Something to be watched. That hadn't happened in so long, but with my stomach in very tight, painful knots, I couldn't exactly complain.

With no control, every memory I had of Jack crept through my mind, making that vision worse, because I knew. There was no way Jack was human. He couldn't be. He never had been. If he could do this to me, without even being around me, he had to be pure evil. The things he had planned for me, however vague they had been in the dream, wasn't anything I wanted to see happen.

But even as I sat there, the dream I'd just woken from, everything but the main details faded as I forgot them. Everything but the fact that I'd see him again, the sound of his voice, the fear I felt. Every detail but those faded like smoke, but the details I could still recall were more than enough.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I was too broken, too small. I choked on my sobs this time, broken in the way that I cried. Anxious and desperate as I sat there, but again, there was nothing anyone could do to calm me down. Maybe Jasper, but that was different.

"Leandra." Esme sighed, taking my arm gently away from my hair. Pulling me to her, and I let her this time. I was ready now for the comforting gestures. I wasn't just ready for it, but I needed it. I needed her to help me hold on.

"It hurts." I almost bawled, my voice trembling and breaking.

I genuinely felt like I was falling apart again, after so much work had gone into putting me back together again. Somehow knowing I'd see him again, that I wasn't done yet, that it was starting all over, hurt even more and it scared me to know this kind of emotional pain was possible. This must have been what I was hiding from.

"Oh, Leandra." Esme sighed, "I can't imagine." She held me tighter, but I couldn't hold onto her in return. I didn't want anyone to tell me that it was all going to be fine, because it wasn't. It never was.

"I can't make it stop." I didn't know how to tell her. Would I tell her? Should I tell anyone that it hadn't just been a dream? Should I even bother?

Should I just go looking for him to get it out of the way? I knew at that thought I was losing my mind. Despite knowing what he planned for me this time wasn't anything good, or easy, I wanted to go find him? Knowing he'd be taking his time, that he was out for blood now scared me, scarring me further. I couldn't do it.

Though unintentionally, I'd undone everything. Falling to pieces yet again. Worse pieces than I was in before.

I wasn't calming down the longer I sat there. It was only getting worse. Sometimes, my cries made no sound. Other times, they were loud. Breathless, desperate. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

My sobs were quiet again. Silent and breathless. I didn't want to take another breath. This worried Esme when that lasted longer than usual, "Leandra, breathe."

I had no choice but to do as she told me, straightening a little in the effort to take another breath. Which only made me more desperate, because I hated it. Every breath I took was now only bringing me closer to a very painful death.

This was different. This was different from all the other times. It was like the pain had just kept piling up during the last few weeks, and it chose now to fall over. Burying me under it. Like I hadn't been healing at all, but hiding behind a dam, and it had finally broken.

The weight of this was crushing, and I wasn't strong enough to lift it alone. I was stuck in a spot, in a figurative corner and I couldn't make myself crawl out of it.

Nobody knew yet why it was so bad so suddenly, and I didn't want to change that. With the newborns coming, they didn't need to know that there was no hope when it came to Jack.

They would be okay. I knew that, but I didn't want to potentially change that by telling them anything about my dream.

"What was it, Leandra?" Alice asked me, sitting beside Esme and I on the bed. I looked to her, gasping my way through aching sobs. Her expression softened, and I looked down at that point. I didn't want to see anything else.

"Leandra, please." She murmured, "This dream.. Did you remember something?" I didn't look up, or acknowledge that she'd spoken at all. I still trembled, but I was beginning to calm down. That was how I knew that Jasper had given in and helped me. I didn't even need to look up to know he was in the doorway.

I wanted to cry, though. That was the only way I knew how to ease the pain.

Soon enough, however, I was calm enough to slowly pull away from Esme, and lay back down. I couldn't say anything to them about what it had been. I kept telling myself that. Despite being soaked in a cold sweat and shivering, I could start to breathe again. I counted those breaths.

Alice wasn't letting it go this time, though. Sitting beside Esme on the bed, "Leandra. I need to know what it was you saw."

I didn't have an answer to that. I didn't know exactly what it was I saw.

"Jack." I sniffled, but that was as far as I could answer her. That was enough for her to glance up toward the door. Looking to someone standing there.

"He won't get to you." Mikah offered quietly, and though his confidence helped a little, I still couldn't help feeling vulnerable.

"And you best believe I'll be looking for him come Newborn Day." Emmett told me, and I frowned a little.

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to the newborns?" I asked quietly.

"Emmett." Edward spoke up, "I highly suggest you stop talking." Where had he come from? If he was here, did that mean Bella was too?

"Doesn't she know?" Alice asked.

"She never made the connection." He replied, "She didn't fully understand the things she saw, so the things you say only confuse her."

"Sooner or later she's going to figure it out." Alice pointed out, "Wouldn't it be better if we just tell her?"

Edward hesitated, sighing as he looked to Carlisle.

"Tell me what?" I asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead." Jasper muttered, "I'll handle it."

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke instead, "What all did you see?"

"I don't want you to worry." I admitted.

"Anything you saw we already know about, Leandra." Alice said, "It's okay to answer." That certainly helped.

"I-I.." I hesitated, "I just.. Saw that he wasn't done hunting me down, and he gets me, but.. It was different." By how calmly she nodded, I felt better about nodding. She spoke again.

"How different?"

"Completely." I replied, "But still the same."

"Focus." She told me, "I know you probably don't want to see whatever that dream showed you, but it's there for a reason. Every detail you can remember. You have the chance to pick it apart and that will help you understand." I frowned, but hesitantly did what she said. With my emotions so carefully controlled, I wasn't afraid.

I sighed, "I can't."

"Try harder." She pressed gently, "Your ability won't grow if you don't keep at it." I shook my head, but I tried again anyway.

I suddenly remembered what it was like looking into his eyes again. Like I'd forgotten it, and I suddenly recalled it. I flinched a little, shaking my head again. Taking a breath. I held that breath, and looked to Alice. She could easily see the hesitancy in my eyes. I wasn't so sure about this.

"There you go." She knew what had happened, "Don't lose it. Focus on it."

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't." She replied, "I know it scares you." I nodded a little, "But it's the only way. You already know what we know. You just won't let yourself focus enough to realize it. Try again."

Instead of arguing further, I did what she said. Instead of stashing that memory away for later, I looked at it again. Letting myself see it this time, I frowned as I looked at it closer this time.

Jack had been right there. So close to me, pinning me and holding my head in his hands. I could still feel what that felt like, and I knew that wasn't just a memory of the feeling. I could still feel his hands gripping me tight. Literally this time like concrete.

Staring into my eyes so close, my instinct was to look away, but I couldn't close my eyes. I was stuck there, frozen in my spot.

His eyes. The difference was in his eyes.

Not only did he hold so much more hate for me than I'd ever seen before in them, but they were no longer the solid blue stones they'd always become when he was angry at me. They were no longer ice. They were no longer blue. They weren't blue anymore, but..

"Alice." I whimpered, looking over at her. By the change in my emotion, she knew I knew. She knew I'd figured it out, "He was turned."

"Don't panic." Alice told me instantly, "Whatever you saw will change. I guarantee that." I could feel how bad I did want to panic, but I couldn't.

"All this did, shorty, is level the playing field." Emmett spoke up as well, "We have more experience hunting our kind than hunting a human, and we're more experienced at this life than he is."

"By far." Jasper added. I could feel how bad I wanted to freak out, but I could only look at them. He had a tight grip on my emotions, and he wasn't letting them go.

"He was hiding out in Seattle." Alice explained, "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Of course, this isn't ideal, but it also isn't the end of the world."

"I was hoping he'd be a snack," Emmett muttered, "But-"

"That means he'll come after you." I whimpered.

"No he won't." Edward told me, "And if he does, it'll be with the other newborns. He'll be just as easy to take out."

"He's not coming with the newborns." I murmured, "He won't come along with the other newborns."

"You're sure?" Alice asked, frowning a little, confused.

"He doesn't want to waste what he has now." I replied, "He thinks that'd be stupid." How quickly I seemed to know that surprised me a little.

"He's already thinking on his own?" Jasper frowned.

"The way she recalls it," Edward spoke, "It's instinct for him. It's instinct for him to avoid confrontation until he's ready to face it. I suppose that's one thing that only intensified when he was turned."

"Shit." Emmett sighed, "Ah, hell. It's not that big of a deal. We'll find him."

"She knew that from a vision?" Alice asked, surprised.

"She knows a lot more than that." Edward confirmed, "When she sees something, she knows all there is to know about the situation. Maybe this was an isolated case, but I don't think so, given how big her original vision was, but that many details at once is really hard for her to see.

"Even with as brief as that vision was, she struggles to see it all or understand it in the way it needs to be understood. All she gets is a small bit, glimpses really, but there's so much more to it. There is simply not enough room to sort everything out the way it needs to be sorted."

"You saw all that from me?" I was surprised myself.

"I only see what you show me." He replied, "Whether you realized it or not, you were doing a lot more than just remembering some dream. It's very fascinating."

"Wow." Emmett muttered, looking to me, "That's pretty awesome, shorty."

"Could be why it's taking her so long to recall the original one." Jasper pointed out, "If it's that detailed, pressuring her to remember it won't work."

"If it's already like this now," Alice spoke, looking to Carlisle, "Imagine what it'd be like if she was ever turned."

"I will be." I reminded her, "Seventeen, remember?"

"That's if it hasn't changed." She pointed out.

"This is still the same, isn't it?" I asked, "Except for Jack." I looked down, "That's new."

"That's something you shouldn't bother to worry about, shorty." Emmett said, "It's not a problem."

"I can't help it." I admitted quietly, "He remembers me, and if he could do all the stuff before to get at me, what can he do now? He can actually hurt you now. I'm scared."

Even with Jasper's help, I knew that. I was scared. This new development was bigger than they were realizing. Although, I had to hand it to Jasper. I'd be inconsolably climbing the walls if he wasn't for his help.

"Right now, he's just focusing on him." Jasper told me, and I looked to him, "There's no way he can concentrate fully on anything but instincts yet. We have time." That helped, and I found that I agreed with him. I took a breath.

With a whimper, I hid my face back in the blanket. The sight of him so close to me bothered me. It scared me. Especially knowing my family was going to be so far away from me in just a few days.

"You'll have Mikah here, Leandra." Edward reminded me, "And Cole. You won't be alone for a second."

"It's not just me I'm worried about."

"I know." He replied, "But you don't have to worry about us. It'll be too easy with Jacob there."

"I don't like him." I frowned into the blanket, "I don't like that I have to trust them to help you. He was so mean when I met him."

"He'll do what it takes to protect the people around here." He assured me, "Which means helping us."

Despite the way I ached with worry, I had to go back to sleep. I couldn't stay awake like I wanted to. My head hurt too much to stay awake.

I felt like complete crap the next morning. I felt sick with emotion, and it wasn't easing. It had been a long time since I'd felt this bad. This was something I doubted even Mikah could help me with, but I wanted to try.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett offered before I even had to ask.

To my surprise, though, Jasper was already out there talking to him. He and Mikah stood further from the porch. Cole stood closer to the porch, and was the first one to see me, smiling as soon as I stepped outside. Emmett directly behind me.

"Hello, darling." Cole murmured, watching as I descended the first porch step, "I hear you're having a hard time."

"Please tell me it gets better." I whimpered, "Because I really can't see it."

His expression softened, and he gave a glance to Emmett.

"It gets better." Cole replied, "I promise. It'll get better."

"How do you know?" I had to ask, sitting on the step behind me.

"I'll personally see to it." He answered, "And I know I'm not the only one."

"But even after the newborns, it won't be over."

"I know." He replied, "But it won't take very long once we can focus on him. Someone, somewhere is bound to know wherever he hides."

I sighed, shivering a little as I hid my arms against my knees. It was cooler outside this morning, and damp.

"What are they talking about?" I asked, nodding toward Jasper and Mikah.

"Jasper is trying to intimidate Mikah into changing his mind about joining your family." Cole answered honestly, "Giving him a whole lot of strict rules, and a list of suitable punishments should he break those rules again."

"Oh." I muttered as if that was normal, "You'd think Jasper would learn."

"He figured he needed to give it one last good try." Emmett added, sitting next to me.

I sighed heavily as Alice suddenly landed to my other side.

"Nothing else." I immediately told her, "Thankfully."

"Why thankfully?"

"I'm mixed up as it is." I replied incredulously, "Do you- Okay. Well, I guess you would know what it's like, but.."

"I get it." She nodded, "But I wasn't going to ask about that. I just wanted to see how you're doing this morning."

I groaned, folding forward.

"Point taken." She replied, as if that was an answer.

"She doesn't look so good." Mikah approached.

"She's not." Alice replied, "This whole thing with Jack-"

"You don't _know_ what he's like." I finally looked back up, "Even after all this, you never had to see him. It was bad enough when he was human, but _now_?"

"Leandra," Alice spoke, "Breathe." I didn't miss the glance she gave to Jasper.

"No," I insisted quietly, "You're not getting it. He can hurt you now. Don't you care about what that means? He knows you're the ones that's protected me this whole time. Before, it was me. It was just me he was after. Now it's you too. He knows. He remembers me."

"Let him remember you." Mikah told me, and I looked up at him, "Let him, but he will _never_ see you again. Or your family. Not while I'm here." The determination in his tone made me hurt. It didn't comfort me like I needed it to.

"You can't make promises that you can't keep, Mikah." I said, "It just doesn't work that way." Beside me, Alice sighed and hugged me. I accepted that, reaching up and holding onto her arms around my shoulders.

"Let's just focus on one thing at a time, darling." Cole murmured, "Right now, that's the newborns in Seattle. Tonight, we'll all be going hunting. As I understand it, Edward will be the one staying with you tonight, but tomorrow morning, we'll take that shift."

I took a deep breath, giving a nod. He was giving firm direction. Not suggesting, but directing. Not quite telling me what to do, but close enough that I had no choice but to listen. This was different.

"All anyone is asking of you," Cole went on, "Your job, is to just stay in one piece long enough for this situation to be dealt with. Just hold on that long, until we can devote more attention on this. Can you do that?"

I whimpered, unsure.

"I'm still scared." I admitted.

"I'm not asking you not to be scared." He replied softly, "I know you are, and I can't blame you. All we're asking is to just hold on. Mikah and I will be here while the rest of your coven can't be, and trust me when I tell you that _nothing_ will get by us."

I nodded again after a few seconds of hesitation. He nodded as well, looking over at Jasper.

"She'll be okay." Cole told him, "The last thing I want is you all to be worried about her while you're out there. I promise you she's in good hands."

"It's appreciated." Jasper sighed, "Thank you."

"Hear that, princess?" Mikah asked, "You're in good hands."

"I don't want to be in hands." I muttered, only gaining Alice's quiet laugh.

"See?" Emmett said, "I told you she's funny."

"I never doubted that." Alice replied, standing up and helping me stand up beside her, "You should have heard her version of where babies come from." Briefly, the memory of that day tried to bother me, but Emmett spoke up before it could.

"Oh, I've got to hear this." Emmett stood up last, looking to me. I just laughed a little, shaking my head. The moment had passed.

"Apparently," Alice answered for me, "They come from the store."

"Do they?" Emmett chuckled.

"I didn't want to tell Lily all that." I muttered in defense, "So I told her that they had to talk to the doctor to see how much they should have to pay for a baby, and all the waiting was on someone to deliver it to the hospital."

"Creative." Cole laughed as well.

"She bought it." I shrugged. I sighed, "I still don't know what that stupid thing looks like."

"That's your sister you're talking about." Alice reminded me.

"Not really." I said, "Just because we have the same dad doesn't mean it's my sister. Just like Lily. I don't know her."

"Then why'd you get so upset when you found out Jack had taken her?" Emmett asked.

I looked down, "I dunno. I'd have worried about anybody. _No_body deserves that."

"Yet they all deserve to die?"

"Dying is a lot better than whatever Jack would do to them." I murmured, "Trust me."

"Okay," Alice spoke, "And your opinion on Hunter?"

"People need to quit having stupid babies." I grumbled, turning back for the house after a second of thought. I got all of them to laugh at that, but they let me head back inside. I wasn't trying to be funny, though.

With a heavy sigh, I flopped back onto the couch. They didn't get it. I almost couldn't imagine it. How much worse things could be than they were before. I had to face that now. Tonight, they were going to leave me.

"Perk up." Alice told me the second I sat on the couch, following me into the house. Was she kidding?

"Right." I muttered, curling into my famous upright ball, "I'll get right on that."

"At least look a little less like your life is over." Alice replied, "Everything will be fine."

"What does that make now?" I asked, looking to her, "Not fine?" She obviously didn't know what to say to that.

"No." She finally said, "It's fine now too. I just mean-"

"I'm not falling for it this time." I sighed, drawing my knees up, "Save it."

"Shorty." Emmett murmured, leading Mikah and Jasper into the house, "Don't be mean." I closed my eyes. He was right. It wasn't Alice's fault.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, "I'm just.. Edgy, I guess."

"It's okay." Alice smiled, hugging me, "I'll forgive you after shopping next weekend."

I whined, curling tighter into my ball, "I can't think about that right now."

"You'll have fun." She assured me, "You'll see."

"Right now, I think I'd rather be eaten alive by weasels." I mumbled into my ball, and that got a chuckle from Emmett.

"Our little ray of sunshine." He laughed beside me, "Alice, I don't think trying to cheer her up is working."

She wasn't done trying, though.

"Well, if you don't want to go shopping, what do you want to do?"

"Drown myself in the bathtub." I answered, and she sighed. Hugging my curled ball into her side.

"Stop that." Mikah spoke up, obviously not liking this. I glanced at him before hiding my eyes again.

"This really doesn't suit you." She pointed out, "Come on. Cheer up." I honestly didn't care if it suited me or not. This was the way I was.

"I would if I could." I replied, "But that's pretty impossible right now."

"Nothing is impossible." She countered, "Come on. If you could do anything at all, or go anywhere at all, what or where would you want to do or go?"

I sighed, slightly annoyed, "I don't know. I don't think about stuff like that. I don't have time to think about stuff I want, or places I want to go." My voice got quieter, "I think about too much stuff already." I paused, "Okay, I want one thing, but I know it's impossible."

"What's that?" She asked, interested.

"I want everything to just stop." I said, closing my eyes, "I just want one day where I don't have to think about anything. Just.. Nothing. Where I don't have to be so scared.." I trailed off. She hugged me then.

"I will find some way to make things easier on you." She promised, pulling back, "I will." I sighed, nodding. I doubted it, but it didn't hurt to let her try. She stood up, and I watched as she looked to Jasper. He took the hint, and followed her from the room.

At what could only be described as a determined pace.

I sighed, shaking my head a little. Nothing could be done. It was just Emmett and I sitting there. Mikah hung back by the door, his arms crossed. He seemed really bothered now. I glanced over at him to see him watching me, but I couldn't do anything to make him worry less.

"Tell me, then." Mikah requested, and I looked over again, "What makes you so sure Jack is any match for any of us?"

"I know him." I replied, "That's what."

"You knew him." He corrected, "You don't know him now."

"I don't need to know him now." I countered, "If I would have known it'd go this far, I never would have ran away from that fucking house in the first place. I wish I never did."

"You don't mean that." Emmett muttered beside me. I stayed quiet, biting my lip. He was right, of course, but in a way, he was really very wrong. If I had known what it would lead to, all this trouble for the family, I never would have left. Just to save them from having to know what this was like.

Lowering my head again, I rested my forehead on my knees, "I'm so scared. I wish you could have seen what it was like. To see him that way."

"I wish you never never had to see him that way." Emmett muttered, hugging me into his side. I fidgeted a little, sighing deeply.

After a minute or two, Emmett spoke again, "Wanna watch a movie?" I sighed again.

"Make it a good one." I said, and he grinned.

"Any types you're against?" He asked, and I knew I should be suspicious that he had to ask, but I just shook my head.

"Anything that'll keep my attention." I told him, and he gave me a nod.

Emmett, still grinning to himself, chose a movie. I didn't care what it was at first, but it definitely held my attention.

As it turned out, I really should have cared, given how scary it was. More jumpy-scary, but that wasn't all. It wasn't about realistic things. It was about ghosts and things like that, but I had to ask.

About halfway through the movie, I looked over and up at Emmett.

"Can that sort of thing really happen?" I asked quietly.

"Don't tell me you're scared." He smirked.

"No." I muttered defensively, "I'm not scared. I'm just curious." I paused, looking to the TV again, "That's not real. It can't be."

"Of course it's not real, shorty." He told me, and I glanced up in time to see his smirk widen. I didn't like that. It unsettled me.

"I mean, you're real." I went on, "Why can't that be?"

"She's got a point." Mikah chuckled, still back by the door, "Answer that one."

"Okay," Emmett muttered, "I will say for sure that I've never seen anything like that." That was a little more believable.

"And how long is 'never'?" I asked.

"You mean, how long have I been a vampire?"

"I guess."

He laughed, "I've never seen anything like that in over seventy years."

"You're old." I frowned over at him.

"Well, thanks for that." He muttered, shoving me over gently.

"If she thinks you're old, I wonder what she'd say about Carlisle." Rose joined us for a moment, standing beside the couch.

"Why?" I asked, "How old is he?"

"Almost three hundred and fifty." Emmett answered.

"No." I immediately said, "There were people back then? Besides cavemen?" He laughed, Mikah joining him.

"Yes." Emmett replied, "But next time you see him, ask Carlisle if he owned a dinosaur as a pet. He'll really appreciate that."

"Don't tell her that." Mikah laughed, "That's not nice."

"I'm not going to ask him that, grandpa." I grumbled, only to gain a light tickle in response to the name. I squirmed away with a small laugh, "Doesn't it bother you to be so old?"

"Do I look that old?" He asked.

"No."

"Then I'm not bothered." He smiled a little, "Now watch your movie." Taking his advice, I gave him a look before looking back to the TV.

I did eventually have to admit to myself, though. This movie was seriously freaking me out, but distracting me quite effectively. Though the ending was nice, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Well, I figured. He'd done what I asked. He'd made it a good one. Mikah and Cole had already gone, leaving for their hunting trip just before the movie ended, but I wasn't as worried about them.

"We'll be going hunting tonight, Leandra." Esme informed me that afternoon and I looked to her, "Edward will be here, if you need anything." I nodded, letting her know I understood.

"Cole said that earlier." I replied, stabbing a lettuce leaf with my fork, "Have one for me."

"Bella will be here too." Alice added, "I would try not to need anything for a little while." Esme gave her a look.

"Ew." I muttered, "I won't." Alice smirked, "They won't even know I'm here. Hopefully I won't be freaking out too bad."

"We'll be gone all night." Esme continued, "And go straight to the clearing afterwards." I looked up.

"I won't see you before the fight?" I asked, disappointed. The debilitating worry about Jack suddenly moved to the back of my mind, this debilitating worry coming forward at the knowledge of exactly how close this fight was. I must have been in some kind of denial before. That denial had cleared now.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She replied, "This is the easiest way."

"What if you don't come back?" I whined, "How is that easiest?"

"We'll come back." She assured me, "It'll be really simple, Leandra." I knew no amount of asking would keep them here. No amount of tears could make them stay.

"You have to." I mumbled, "You have to come back, okay?"

"We will." She assured again, reaching forward and smoothing my cheek in a very comforting gesture, "Please don't worry." I reached up, grabbing her hand and holding onto it with both of mine.

"I can't help it." I admitted, "I don't want to live with my dad, or with Heather. I want to stay here."

"We'll be fine, Leandra." Alice offered from the side, "I promise." I was on the very verge of panic, continuing to fearfully cling to Esme's hand.

"Don't go." I asked anyway.

Needless to say, I didn't get my way. They had to go, and I knew that, but that didn't stop me from begging. I wasn't okay with this. How could they be so calm about this? Of course, I cried. I was so sure I'd never see any of them again, completely freaking myself out. Once that denial was out of the way, I didn't care so much about Jack anymore.

There was no amount of assurance they could give me to make it better.

"Leandra," Alice tried again, "Remember how much you worried the first night you had to spend over at Heather's house?"

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"It'll be just like that." She replied, "Exactly like that. You'll stay here, maybe watch a movie or two, and go to sleep. We'll be back by noon, at the latest." When she put it like that, it was a little easier to handle. I didn't accept it, but I could handle it. I looked over as both Emmett and Edward entered the kitchen, where I still held Esme captive.

"How will Bella not know I'm here if I'm watching movies, though?" I asked, and she gave me a look. Edward chuckled.

"She can know you're here." She told me, "It's no big deal."

"If it helps," Emmett spoke up, "Just think of the fight tomorrow as an extension of the hunt tonight. We're out hunting. That's all we're doing, shorty."

I took a breath, but forced myself to nod.

From there, I considered ways to possibly make them stay. Maybe if I 'accidentally' hurt myself pretty bad, they wouldn't go? Jumping out a window sounded like a good idea. A lot less painful than getting myself hit by a car, but I wasn't brave enough to try anything like that.

I just _really_ didn't want them to go.

It was hard for me to say goodbye to them that night. Knowing I wouldn't be seeing them until the next afternoon, after the fight.

"I feel sick." I admitted, hugging Carlisle, "Maybe you should stay."

"You'll be okay." He told me, no doubt knowing exactly what I was doing. I cursed myself for using the, 'I might throw up' tactic multiple times before.

"But what about you?" I asked, looking up at him. Refusing to let go of him yet, just the same way I'd trapped Esme earlier.

"We'll be just fine." He assured me, and before I could continue arguing, I was plucked up off my feet from behind. I yelped loudly, squeaking as I was swung around and held upside down. My head, closest to the floor, spun a little. I couldn't help laughing at the position, clinging tight to Emmett's arm.

"No more worrying." Emmett told me, tickling my sides and stomach with his free hand.

"Put me down!" I laughed, squirming.

"Not until you agree." He said, "I have to shake all the worry out of you." He bounced me a little, but held me securely.

"You're gonna drop me." I panted through my now nervous laughs, "Don't drop me."

"I'm not going to drop you." He replied, "Least of all on your head. Do you really think I'd damage you like that?" I kicked a little, struggling to right myself.

"Yes." I replied immediately, and he tickled me again. I fought, struggling harder with more laughs, "I'm getting dizzy."

That only made him spin around on the spot, making that dizziness worse. I squeezed my eyes shut, clinging tighter to his arm.

"You're gonna make me throw up." I warned, but the laughter was still clearly evident.

"Agree." He told me, still spinning, "Agree to no more worrying, and I'll put you down. We'll be fine, shorty. You're not getting rid of us that easy."

"Fine!" I finally squeaked, "I'll _try_ not to worry." Almost immediately, he plopped me lightly onto my back on the couch. I laid there for a few seconds, really unsure about moving.

"That's all we ask." Emmett chuckled, and I slapped his arm. His expression dropped in what looked like surprised sadness, "Ow. You hit me."

"You flipped me upside down." I accused right back.

"Because it was easy." He countered, dodging another hit.

As fun as that brief moment of roughhousing was, I was still sad.

"We'll be fine." He told me, seeing the change in my expression, "You'll get your rematch."

"Be careful." I plead quietly, struggling to keep my tears back as I stood back up.

"You have nothing to worry about." Esme assured me, hugging me, "I know it's hard for you, but please try not to worry about us. We'll be just fine." I returned her hug, whimpering. I was more scared about this than I would ever admit, but I knew they knew it anyway.

"Be good for Eddy." Emmett told me, "He's not the best babysitter in the world." Edward chuckled from his place in the chair.

"And you are?" Edward countered, and I found that amusing.

"I'll be sure to raise hell." I told Emmett, "Just like you do." He grinned.

"Good deal, shorty." He replied, patting my head lightly.

"The last thing we need is another Emmett." Edward chuckled as I sat back down next to him, watching the others leave. Esme and Carlisle hesitated by the door.

"She'll be alright." Edward assured them now.

"No I won't." I mumbled to myself.

Ignoring that, Edward spoke again, "I'll keep an eye on her."

I hated watching them leave, too. It was hard to stay quiet, and not come up with every tiny excuse to call them back. I almost did, but I kept it to a quiet whimper, watching the spot where they'd disappeared.

It hurt more than I cared to admit to watch them both leave. I knew that had more to do with the fear of abandonment, but a good amount of that was worry for their safety. I wanted them to come back more than anything.

"You're being very mature about this." Edward pointed out, and I just sighed. It wasn't by choice. He nodded, "I know, but very mature nonetheless."

"When does Bella get here?" I asked, and he smiled a little.

"In about an hour." He replied, and I nodded.

"I'll make sure I'm out of the way by then." I murmured, "Sorry you're stuck here with me." He looked over, smirking.

"Why?" He asked, confused.

"I know you two would probably want privacy." I reasoned quietly, "I won't bug you."

"Exactly what do you think is going to be going on?"

"Uh.." I muttered, glancing over. He found the answer in my mind, despite how I shied away from the thought.

"No." He said immediately, shaking his head, "Definitely not."

"Isn't that all guys do with their girlfriends?" I frowned, "That's all guys want, isn't it?"

"Not the right guys."

"And where are those?"

"It bothers me that you know about that." He admitted, his eyes on the TV.

"Everybody knows about that." I countered, "And I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were." He sighed, "But no. That won't be happening."

I shrugged a little, looking to the TV also. That did make me feel a little better. Uncomfortable, but a little better.

"And to answer your other question, they're all around you." I frowned a little, "If you want an example of a right guy, look around- Not literally." He chuckled as I did so, and I laughed a little also, "If you're ever wondering how a lady is supposed to be treated, take a look."

I understood what he was talking about then. How Emmett treated Rose, or Jasper treated Alice. They definitely didn't act like that was the only thing on their mind. Emmett did now and then, but that was just him showing off. I knew that, and that it made Rosalie feel better about herself.

"You're observant." Edward smiled a little.

"I've been told." I replied.

"No, there is more to a relationship than.. _That_." He told me, "It's about who you want to see beside you every moment you look."

"I'm ten." I reminded him and he chuckled, "Tone it down a bit."

"I suppose you do have a few years to learn, don't you?" He laughed, and I shrugged a little.

"If I even do at all." I said, "I don't ever want a boyfriend." He looked over, "I don't need one."

"I sincerely hope you change your mind one day." He told me, "What you're talking about sounds like a very lonely life. Believe me."

"So?" I shrugged again, "Maybe I'm supposed to be alone my whole life."

"Nobody is meant to be alone." He replied, "I firmly believe there is someone out there for you. If I could find mine, believe me, someone like you will find hers."

"Someone like me?" I asked, looking over, "What do you mean by that?"

"Someone who's seen nothing but the worst in people." He explained, not at all put off by my obvious offense, "Someone who deserves nothing but all the love and kindness in the world. Somebody out there will show you just how priceless you are. More than we ever can. They'll look beyond your non-existent flaws, and prove to you that you're worth it. They'll be patient, and they'll make you smile."

"Oh." Was all I said, looking back to the TV with a sigh, "Probably not." I couldn't help thinking, though, as much as I tried. Everything he had said fit Mikah perfectly.

Mikah had been patient, and kind. He knew about me, and he never treated me any differently. He hated it when I was down, no matter what it was about. He definitely made me smile. Proven by my small smile as I thought about him.

I hadn't even minded he was six years older than me. He was almost grown, and there I was. Still just a kid, but that didn't matter to me. The most important thing to me was spending time with him. With Mikah, I felt like he cared. Like I was important to him, too, even if it was just as a sister. He was my friend.

Maybe there was another reason that snow-globe he'd given me meant so much to me. The song, the words to it meant a lot to me.

"Maybe." Edward smiled a little.

"Stop it." I couldn't help laughing a little at his smile, "Emmett says it's just a crush."

"I think it's more than that." Edward replied, "But that's just my opinion. What do I know?"

"Well, either way, I'll stay out of your way." I hesitated for a moment, "That talk took a weird turn."

"My, you sure are amusing." He pointed out, chuckling, "Very entertaining."

"So I've heard." I repeated, laughing along with him, "If you spent longer than thirty seconds around me, you'd know it."

"That certainly came out of nowhere."

"I'm good at that." I replied, "How do I keep surprising you?"

"You don't always say what crosses your mind." He chuckled, "Sometimes, you think something, but say something completely different. It's the oddest thing."

"If I just said everything I thought about, I'd probably be in a whole lot of trouble." I muttered, "I swear. I might cry a lot, but I'm very stealthy. You won't even know I'm here. Well, you might, but Bella won't."

"Well, that's not very fair to you, is it?"

"Life isn't fair." I said, "I'm proof enough of that, and I'm pretty used to things not being fair. I'm in the way all the time, so I'll try not to be this time."

I sighed, leaning back with a huff.

"This sucks." I muttered, "I hate those stupid newborns."

"I can't help agreeing with you on that one." He replied, "I'd offer to take you with me, but I'm afraid it may be too cold for you, and I'll most likely be pretty distracted."

"Why not just stay here with Bella?" I knew of his plan to take her elsewhere during the fight, "Cole and Mikah will be here."

"It's a little complicated." He admitted, and I sighed. I knew that meant that he didn't want to get into the full explanation. Either that, or he was doubting my ability to understand, which I doubted.

"What do you think about Mikah?" I asked, looking over at him.

"It's difficult," He murmured, "But I do agree with Carlisle. All they want is to see you happy. Mikah makes you happy in a way nobody else does. As Emmett so gently put it, he speaks your language. Meaning, he understands you and you understand him. As much as we all want to keep you safe, I'm afraid removing Mikah from your life would cause more harm than good."

"And do you think I'm selfish?"

"You're not selfish." He frowned a little, looking over at me, "No. Leandra, you found something that makes you happy, and just because you refuse to let go of that, it doesn't make you selfish. If you're selfish for wanting Mikah around you, then I'm selfish for needing Bella. Do you think I'm being selfish?"

"No." I replied honestly.

"Then you aren't." He went on, "You're setting the worst kind of double-standards for yourself. I honestly wish you could see just how much you mean to everyone."

"I think I'm starting to get it." I muttered.

"It's a big decision to take on a newborn, Leandra." He told me, "You just can't know the amount of dedication it takes to keep one, and to take responsibility for one. The fact that Carlisle is willing to do so should say a lot about how much you mean to him specifically."

"I know." I sighed, looking down, "But I'm afraid."

"You don't have to be afraid of Carlisle." Edward murmured.

"I'm not afraid of him." I shook my head, "I'm afraid of letting myself get attached. I've never had anyone try to teach me the way he does. I've never had anyone treat me the way he does. Maybe I just don't know how to be what he thinks I can be. I'm afraid to try, because I know I don't deserve it, and I'll just let him down."

"You're afraid of disappointing him?"

"Not just him." I explained, "Everyone, but him most. All I know how to be is worthless. I don't know how to be worth something. I'm afraid of getting attached when I know he could change his mind about me at any time."

"Leandra," He sighed, "That isn't possible."

"Everyone keeps saying that." I sighed as well, "But it is. He's such a good person. He helps people when they need help. He cares about people. I'm the opposite of that. I hate them."

"You'll learn."

"But what if I never do?" I asked, "What if I'm stuck this way? I don't ever want him to give up on me, but at the same time, I know he should. I think he's wasting his time."

"Carlisle has never given up on anything." He told me, "And I can honestly say that he wouldn't start with you. Is this why you refuse to trust him completely?" I nodded a little.

"I'm afraid of how much it'll hurt when he finally sees what I see in me." I muttered, "I want to trust him, but I can't."

"And all he wants is for you to see what he sees in you." He pointed out, "Give him an honest chance."

"And what if you're wrong?"

"But what if I'm right?" He'd turned it around, "I know I'm right. There is absolutely nobody better as a father figure than Carlisle." I didn't know how to reply, looking back down. From what I'd seen, he was right, but that didn't mean I wanted to set myself up for disappointment later on.

"You're guarded." He added, "You've been guarded since we met you. Even after everything Carlisle has done for you, you're still doubtful and afraid. Whether you're aware of it or not, you're afraid of him, purely because you've never come across as good of a man as he is. You're afraid of being hurt by him in all the ways Jack has hurt you."

"No." I denied instantly.

"The tone of your thoughts don't lie." He replied easily, "Nobody blames you, Leandra. Nobody blames you for your trust and abandonment issues, as they're understandable after growing up with Jack, but you are afraid of him. Just like you're afraid of me. You don't even realize it, but your instinct is to be afraid. To expect having to fight for your life, or to need to escape."

I winced, looking down. I absolutely _hated_ that he was right. I wouldn't have said that I was afraid exactly, but slightly nervous. Hardly noticeable by now around my family.

"It's your instinct to be afraid, and to see every man as a potential threat to you," He added, "And we're no different. Bottom line, that's what it comes down to. I'm not saying that your reasons for choosing not to trust Carlisle are wrong. There's just more to it than that. You're only trying to protect yourself in every way possible, but I know it'll get a whole lot easier when you let yourself see Carlisle for who he is."

He'd certainly given me a whole lot to think about. Was I really afraid of everyone the way he said I was?

"You are." He confirmed quietly, "Emmett, Jasper, me. That fear is always there. Just not as strongly as you're used to."

It must have been a part of the whole subconscious thing that they explained to me the other day. Instinct came from there, so maybe I had no control over it.

"Exactly." He said, "And all we're trying to do is fix that instinct. Carlisle most of all, because of the role he plays in your life now. He's in charge of you, making him your official father, and that scares you." Maybe that was the reason why I still held a grudge against Carlisle for doing the same thing everyone else did, wanting to help my mom. Maybe that was why I held him accountable for that.

Edward went on, "The role he plays in your life now.. That tells that instinct that you need to be guarded. Expecting, anticipating. Waiting for him to prove that instinct right every second you're around him, but I can guarantee that you couldn't be more wrong. It'll just take time."

He didn't seem mad at me while explaining all this, but it bothered me to have this pointed out to me. I didn't want to be afraid of them. How fair was that to them? They'd done nothing to wrong me. Just the opposite. I'd known I hated all other men in general, but I never realized I still distrusted my family that way.

"It's involuntary." He assured me, "It's nothing you consciously choose to do. Next time Emmett picks you up or hugs you, pay attention to your reaction. Next time Carlisle or Jasper approaches you, pay attention to the way you tense."

"I guess I'm not as observant as people say, huh?" I mumbled quietly, keeping my eyes down on my hands rested in my lap.

"It's something we've all noticed." He replied, "It isn't just me. You want so bad to trust Carlisle, but that instinct is holding you back from building that trust, and it's killing you. You want to. You do, and we all see it."

"Everyone but me." I pointed out. I felt horrible, "How do I make it stop? It has to stop."

"Leandra, I'm not going to pretend to be the most educated when it comes to things like this." Edward replied, "But I can tell you this. Looking through your memories, your dreams and your thoughts, they tell me that you need to look closer at them."

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" I asked, shocked.

"Something about them is bothering you." He said, "Not just the fact that Jack did those horrible things. That's not all there is, and you need to figure out what else is there. Your dreams are very deep, Leandra. There is more there than you're willing to see. Something you're denying yourself to see.

"I can't say I blame you much, but until you discover what that something is, I think you're going to keep seeing these things and taking those steps back."

I knew he was right, of course. That's what bothered me the most about these dreams. There was always something there when I woke up, but I didn't know what that something was. Something that bothered me a lot about it, other than the obvious.

"How can I figure out what that is?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That's up to you." He admitted as he stood up, "I can't find the answer for you. I'm not that good. I only see what you show me." I smiled a little, nodding. He told me that all the time, "But I can tell you what kind of person Jack is."

That interested me.

"You're the only one who saw him." I recalled, and he nodded.

"This is true." He allowed, "And I admit, I got quite a lot from his thoughts in those thirty seconds, but I don't need knowledge of his thoughts to know what kind of person he is." I stayed quiet, curious, so he continued.

"You can compare Jack to a rattlesnake." He said, "Should he bite, the damage he does long outlasts his presence. You've noticed this." I nodded a little, looking down, "He's bitten you, Leandra. You have that poison in your blood, and no amount of covering it up will help you."

Hearing it put that way struck something with me. That was the hardest thing to hear.

"I know." I finally replied, "Believe me." I did know, but hearing it from him was different than hearing it all the time from myself.

"You can't run from it." He went on, "You can't fix it by holding back. Maybe looking closer at everything he's left you with will help you. The truth is, there is only so much we can do for you if you choose to ignore it." As if involuntarily proving his point, I really didn't want to talk about this anymore. I already knew I was hopeless. I didn't want to talk about it.

Obviously catching on, he sighed, "Bella and I will be gone early in the morning. You'll be alone after that. You're positive you'll be okay here?"

"I'll be okay." I replied, "Cole and Mikah will be here. I won't be really alone."

I had a lot to think about now. Keeping my mind busy as I hid away in my room that night. How must that have been for them to know I was still afraid of them? Involuntary or not, I still felt horrible. I didn't want to be afraid of them, even if I never noticed it. They had noticed it, and that was enough.

Maybe there were things I had noticed. The way my heart would sink just a little, but I always thought that was caused by being startled. The hugs. As much as I allowed them, and even returned them sometimes, I always broke them first.

Maybe there was a reason I only allowed Esme to hold me. Maybe I needed a replacement mom like her, but I refused to give Carlisle that kind of chance because the one father I'd grown up with had hurt me so bad. My mom was pretty much out of the way the entire time, so it was almost easy to give Esme a chance. Jack was always there, and Carlisle was trying to take that role. Carlisle's job was a lot harder.

I sobbed a little in frustration, rolling and covering my head with a pillow.

Carlisle was trying so hard, and I did know that, but I was afraid. I had to admit. Edward was right. It was about more than worrying about letting him down. It wasn't just me worrying about disappointing him. Like I'd never be good enough. I had no choice but to face that now.

If I was going to stay here, I had to change things. I couldn't keep hurting them by being afraid. I knew for a fact that they'd never hurt me in any of the ways Jack had. I had to convince my instincts of that, but how was I supposed to change the way my instincts felt?

Maybe being aware of it would be enough? This whole thing was a whole lot harder than I ever thought it would be in the beginning, but I had to think about it. Really think. By some miracle, I was still alive. I'd survived and endured so much. Why the hell was I going to waste that by being afraid of the same ones I owed my life to? Especially Carlisle. It was beyond stupid.

I needed to change that.

I jumped, startled awake hours later, surprised at having fallen asleep. One glance told me it was just Edward, so I sighed, laying back down.

"I'm sorry I startled you." He told me.

"It's not hard to do." I mumbled into my pillow. What time was it? I looked over, glancing to the clock. Too fucking early.

I heard him laugh quietly, "I just wanted you to know that we're going now."

"Are Mikah and Cole here?" I asked, looking up at him.

"They got here about an hour ago." He confirmed, "They're right outside, should you need anything." I nodded a little, "We'll all be back here before you know it."

"I already know it." I muttered, which was true, "I need another chance. I need another chance to stop being so selfish."

"Leandra, you're anything but." He replied, "And you'll get that chance. I promise you."

"You sound like Carlisle when you say that." I smiled a little and he smiled as well.

"Thank you." He gave me a nod, and I knew that was a pretty big compliment.

I watched him turn, leaving. I didn't hear another sound after he closed my door gently, but I didn't need to to know he was gone.

I didn't even try going back to sleep. It'd be pointless anyway, so I took my time brushing my teeth. Considering my next loose tooth hurt a little more and one poke loosened it even more with a bit of blood, I knew it wouldn't last another week. If Emmett wasn't here to yank it like I promised he could, I'd kill him.

I made sure to rinse my mouth thoroughly to get rid of the bit of blood that escaped with the loosening of my tooth. I didn't want to take any chances.

It was just starting to lighten outside when I stepped out. That was against Jasper's rules, but I figured fuck it. I wasn't spending the next six or so hours alone, and I'd be happy enough with him coming back just to be mad at me for doing so.

I wasn't standing there longer than thirty seconds before Cole was beside me.

"Problem?" He asked me.

"I'm bored." I told him, sitting on the porch step, "Entertain me." He chuckled.

"I'm not sure I know how to entertain a human." He admitted, "What might you suggest, darling?"

"Uh.." I actually had no idea.

"Just talk to her." Mikah approached from the trees, "That usually works."

"Not too close." Cole reminded him.

"You know as well as I do that I know my limits." Mikah rolled his eyes a little, "I'm fine. I promise." Cole sighed, but didn't protest again. Approaching only a few steps closer, Mikah looked to me, "You okay? You bled a little bit just a bit ago."

"Loose tooth." I shrugged, "I tried to get rid of the scent."

"And you did a fairly good job." Cole replied, "But that doesn't mean we didn't notice it when it happened."

"Geez." I muttered, "You guys don't miss anything, do you?"

"I should hope not." Cole chuckled, "That could prove to be dangerous." His smile faded, "It's alright for you to be out here, but should we tell you to go back inside, I'll need you to do so without question."

I nodded a little.

"That's like asking her to explain advanced physics." Mikah muttered, "Without question? That's pretty impossible."

"Hey." I replied, "I can do it."

"Leandra," He said, "Go pick up that rock."

"Why?" I frowned. He gave Cole a look, indicating his point had been made.

"That's different." I argued, standing up, "If you tell me to get my ass back inside, I'll know why." I descended the steps and picked up the rock he'd nodded toward, "And besides. It's the tone you use when telling me to do something. Your tone matters just as much as what you say."

"I guess you're right." Mikah laughed a little, "But that's the wrong rock." I immediately looked down, frowning a little. Which one did he want me to pick up?

"I can't _tell_." I argued, "Here. You find it." With that, I launched the rock toward the trees as hard as I could. To my entertainment, he ran off and caught it before it could hit the ground.

"Cheater." I called, watching as he rolled it back to me with a grin. It clattered across the ground, tumbling to a stop against my shoe. Reaching down, I picked it back up and launched it in another direction. Only getting the same result.

With that, a never-ending game of fetch commenced. As the game led me further from the porch, Cole followed. Trailing along beside me, keeping an eye on us as we progressed.

"You don't have to follow." I laughed a little, looking over at Cole.

"I suppose I like to be cautious." He replied, "I was far too lenient on the night of that graduation party, and it nearly cost us this chance."

"That wasn't your fault."

"But it was." Cole corrected, "I never should have let Mikah out of my sight. I didn't think he'd be so reckless."

"You think he was reckless too?" I asked, launching the rock again.

"It's my job," He explained, "To keep an eye on him. From the moment I found him, I took on the responsibility of making sure he's okay. Which includes teaching him when certain risks cannot be taken."

"But he said himself that he was fine."

"You vastly underestimate the power you hold over him, darling." He pointed out, "The craving for human blood is something unrivaled to us. Absolutely nothing else is comparable. It outweighs any human addiction out there by at least a thousand fold, and is nearly irresistible to even the most practiced of our kind."

I swallowed nervously, pausing only long enough to pick up the rock that had been returned to me.

"Mikah knows his limits." Cole nodded, "He's gotten good at knowing, but something he has yet to experience, is what happens when that limit shifts."

"Shifts?" I asked, throwing the rock.

"It can change." He explained, "Certain times, it's easier to resist. Other times, that's not the case. It really can all depend on which way the wind is blowing that day. Anything can set him off, and that's why your family is so worried."

I sighed, shaking my head a little.

"I believe you." I said, "I mean, I'm not stupid. I know Mikah is dangerous. I know you're dangerous. I even know my family is dangerous. They're vampires." He nodded a little, "But I don't care."

He frowned a little, obviously confused.

"It doesn't matter to me that they're different than me." I explained, "I don't see it like that. I guess I never have." I threw the rock once more, listening to Mikah laugh as he had to jump to catch it. I looked up at Cole, "Maybe that's what makes me so different from other people. I can't see a difference."

"Don't you realize the threat we pose to you?"

"If you haven't noticed," I replied, "Half of all the humans out there pose a threat to me, and to me, they're more dangerous than you or my family are. Out of everything that can kill me, I'm not worried about my family or Mikah doing it."

He obviously still couldn't understand, "But-"

"Think about it this way." Mikah was suddenly walking along to my other side, "Out of all the humans out there that could have helped her, not one came through. Carlisle was the one that saved her that day in California. You saved her the other day. From her point of view, humans are very unreliable. Our kind has done her more good than they ever have."

"You shouldn't be so close to her." Cole sighed.

"I'll roll around on the carpet to get rid of his scent so close to me." I muttered, and Mikah chuckled.

"I suppose you're right, though." Cole ignored that, "I've just never met a human that seemed so immune to the instinct to fear our kind."

"I think it comes with the gift." I sighed, "That, and what Mikah said. I'm more afraid of you as a guy than as a vampire, I guess. At least that's what Edward said."

"That's understandable." Cole nodded, "Especially considering what all you've been through."

"You don't think that's weird?"

"Not at all." He shook his head, "We're all built with the ability to hold instincts. You are, I am. It's basic survival, coming from the time of the first humans. No humans would have survived without them."

"Really?" I asked, interested.

"Of course." He replied, "Had the first humans not learned, they never would have figured out that the animals around them could kill them. One probably saw another get killed, and learned to stay away from them. That human then went on to teach others, and those taught others, and so on. Survival is the most basic instinct out there, along with it, the instinct to protect children."

I'd heard of that one before.

"Instincts are powerful things," He went on, "And they are hard to change once they're in place. You were shown the horrible side to men." I looked down at the reminder, "Something that was never meant to happen. You were taught, trained to fear them, just as those first humans were taught to fear those animals. Being taught the way you were taught had a larger impact on your instincts than you're willing to admit. To you, it's your job to fear men. It's your instinct's way of keeping you safe."

"When you put it like that, it doesn't sound so weird." I admitted.

"It's not weird." He assured me.

"Not at all." Mikah agreed with him, "I'd be surprised if you didn't feel this way after how you've been treated."

"Do you think they hate me for it?"

"Have they treated you in a way that suggests they do?" Cole asked in return.

"No."

"Then no." He replied, "I don't think they hate you because of it. They understand as much as I do what's going on."

"I hope you're right." I sighed, looking down at the rock in my hands.

"Throw the rock." Mikah told me, and I paused, looking over at him. Without question, I threw it and he chuckled.

"See?" I said as he ran off after it, "I can do stuff without asking why." I watched him dive into the trees to catch the rock, only rustling the foliage a bit.

Sighing, I looked to Cole, "Are you going to miss Mikah?"

"Of course." He replied, "But I know here is where he'll be happiest. Being stuck on the outside, with no contact with anyone from his old life was killing him. I tried to explain to him that that's just how it had to be, but being pulled away from his siblings that way.. It was hurting him."

"Then I came along."

"Then you came along." He smiled, "And he changed. It wasn't that he forgot about his biological siblings. Not at all, but he found opportunity in you. An option, the ability to have just a small piece of his old life back."

"Why didn't he just show up sooner?"

"With the situation in Seattle," He explained, "I didn't want to push your family's patience. They were bound to be defensive, and a defensive coven is something you don't want to play with. Despite the fact that they had known Mikah, it was best to let them come to me." I nodded a little.

"I'm glad Carlisle did." I admitted, leaning down to lift the rock that had been returned to me. Mikah followed it back over to us, and I looked up at him.

"You and I both, darling." Cole replied.

"Go fetch." I muttered, throwing the rock again. Despite the look he gave me, Mikah did as I said. I couldn't help laughing a little.

I'd just wasted about an hour walking around with them, but I still had plenty more hours to go. Too many. As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help wondering where my family was at that point. I was promised repeatedly that they'd be fine, but I couldn't help being terrified.

I honestly really hoped they knew how much I needed them to come back home.

"Leandra," I looked over at Mikah's sudden return, "Go back inside."

**A/N: Uh-oh. :D  
Not a whole lot happening here, but I liked it. :) I'm so sorry this took a lot longer than I thought it would to come out. I also apologize if this seems rushed and/or crowded. Currently dealing with family issues, and that took more of my attention.  
THANK YOU! To my wonderful reviewers of chapter ten! THANK YOU! :D THANK YOU!**  
**As for chapter Twelve, it may take a little while. I'm hoping not too long, though. :) There are a few different ways it can go, which I've had happen a lot in this story, oddly enough, but it's coming along. We'll see what happens.  
Until Twelve, my friends! :D**


	12. Author's Note-Two

**Important Author's Note**

I'm writing this to let you all know that I plan to finish the story.

Eventually, I'll update with chapter twelve, and release a thirteen when it's ready, but once those are out, that's it. I couldn't leave the story the way it was, but I can't continue it, either. At least for right now.

I hope to leave the story in a conclusive way, that gives everyone closure. Wish me luck on that.

Until then, my good friends.

-KNeu21


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

I froze for a moment, unsure as I looked up at him. When I didn't immediately move, Mikah sighed and lifted me quickly off my feet. I yelped in surprise, but didn't have a chance to protest before he was turning toward the house.

"Get inside." He told me, letting me to my feet on the porch, "And stay in there. Someone's coming." Seeing the worry in my eyes, he spoke again, "Someone human." That helped a little, and I took a breath. Whoever this human was, Mikah could do far more damage to them than this human could do to me. Doing as he told me, I turned around and stepped into the house. He spoke again before I could finish closing the door behind me, "Don't open the door."

With that, he'd disappeared. No doubt to go watch from the trees. I knew if I needed help, he and Cole would be there.

I locked the door, and ran off to my room. I could see the drive easier from my bedroom window, and had less chance of being seen that way.

It took probably a minute or two for whoever it was to find the house, and I instantly sighed in relief.

"He's okay." I spoke out loud, knowing Cole and Mikah would hear me, "It's my dad. My real dad."

It was odd that he was showing up today, though. I went back out to the living room to wait for him to come to the door. I didn't want to seem too eager and show up before he'd even pulled up.

One thing I thought of, though, was a cover story. Why was I here alone? He'd want to know that.

I took a moment or two to go for the door, and by not watching him get out of the car, an extra person with him took me by surprise. It wasn't Rachel or Lily, but in his hand was the carrier that held the new baby.

"Hi." I muttered in greeting. Not having seen him since that day in the hospital, it was almost awkward.

"Hi, kiddo." He smiled a little at me, "I'm sorry for just showing up like this."

"No," I said, "It's okay." I offered him to come inside, and he stepped in passed me.

"Are you here alone?" He asked, giving a glance around as I closed the door.

"Kind of." I admitted, "Everyone had stuff to do." Some cover story, "And I didn't really want to do any of the stuff they wanted to do, so I stayed home."

"You're turning eleven in a month and a half." He chuckled, "I think you're old enough for them to let you stay home alone now and then." He bought it well enough, at least.

Leading him into the living room, I was actually surprised by how quiet the baby was. I was expecting the stupid thing to be screaming its head off twenty-four seven. The baby was clearly awake, but mostly made little grunting noises, and just laid there. This baby was a lot smaller than Hunter was, and a whole lot quieter.

"They won't be gone too much longer." I assured him anyway, "It was just for a little while." He smiled a little. I sighed, watching as he sat the baby's little carrier down on the coffee table.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, finally giving me a hug, "Alice told me you were really sick the last I saw you, and had to bail early."

"I was." I replied, returning the hug, "I'm okay now."

"Glad to hear it." He said, "Because I brought someone here for you to meet." He gestured to the baby in her carrier, so I looked over again. I had to admit, I was curious.

"What'd you name it?" I asked, and he chuckled.

"Her name is Kaylee." He replied, "I thought it was about time you met her."

I laughed a little, recalling the video he'd showed me, "She kind of looks like me when I was born."

"She does." He confirmed, "I guess that means she's going to look more like me." Hesitantly, I moved over, closer to her. I was nervous she'd start crying the second I got too close to her, like some kind of car alarm.

She was looking around, but I couldn't really tell if she even really cared what she was looking at. Until I got close enough, and she looked at me. I had honestly no idea what I was so worried about. I couldn't hurt this thing if I wanted to. Lily was a different story, but this thing, barely bigger than a football, was so completely helpless, I was afraid to even try to touch her.

I'd always pictured every baby to be like Hunter. Annoying, drooling little balls of grossness. Though Kaylee did drool a little, her lack of annoying sounds made that a little easier to handle.

"What do you think?" My dad asked, finally breaking the silence.

"She's _tiny_." I laughed a little.

"Yeah." He replied with his own laugh, "I have to admit. It's so strange seeing you right next to her. To think you used to be that small."

Her hands were covered, but balled near her face as she wriggled around a little. I was gathering that there wasn't much else to her yet.

"Do you want to hold her?" He asked, and I looked up. I honestly didn't trust myself holding her, but maybe that was a sign I could.

"I don't know." I replied, apprehension in my tone as I sat back on the couch, "You do it."

"There's nothing to it." He assured me, stepping over and sitting next to me, "You've just got to make sure you support her head and her butt."

"And don't drop her."

"No dropping." He confirmed. I watched as he unfastened the straps holding her in place and gently scooped her up out of her seat with both hands. Like he'd done it a million times before.

"Here." He said, "Sit back." Hesitantly, I did as he said, watching as he brought the baby to me, "Bring your arm up. Like that." He gently placed the baby in my lap, but my arm supported her head and shoulders. She hardly weighed anything, and I could hardly tell she was there if I wasn't looking down at her. She hiccuped a little, but otherwise, didn't seem to care about where she was now.

"See?" He asked after a second, "Nothing to it."

I could literally do anything to her, and she wouldn't be able to do absolutely anything to defend herself. That was a very, very scary feeling. It scared me. I'd never seen anything so helpless in my life. It freaked me out.

She had an interesting smell to her, but it wasn't a bad one. I'd never smelled that smell before, and I wanted to ask what it was, but I didn't want him to think I thought his baby stunk.

It was going fine. I was getting used to it, until one specific sound broke the silence, and my dad started laughing.

"What was that?" I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I was laughing too, as it just sounded funny.

"Less than five minutes holding her," He said, "And she farts on you."

"Ew!" It was all I could do not to toss her at my dad, but thankfully, he was already reaching over to remove her. Cracking up as he lifted her from me, and I also had to admit. She certainly did know how to defend herself. That didn't even stink, weirdly enough.

"That wasn't nice." My dad told her, holding her up securely in both hands, "You're supposed to save those for Lily." Her head literally fit in the palm of his hand. She was even more helpless in his hands, but he wasn't worried in the slightest. He looked over at me, still chuckling, "I'm sorry."

"It happens." I said, inspecting my shirt. I didn't see anything out of place.

"You're taking it a lot better than Lily did." He replied, "I swear, she was _this_ close to throwing up."

"I probably would have been a lot madder if it wasn't just a fart." I replied, "I never wanted to hold Hunter."

"Who's Hunter?" He asked, gently placing Kaylee back into her seat.

"Mom's baby." I answered, and he looked over at me. This was obviously news to him, given the surprise in his eyes.

"Whoa, whoa." He spoke, "You've talked to your mother?"

"Yeah." I muttered, glancing down, "She was here. I talked to her. She told me what happened. She told me about.. What happened with her."

"What about Jack?" He asked, "I thought she was with him."

"She never wanted to be with him." I replied, "Jack and his dad sort of.. Made her stay there, but I don't think anyone's going to see either of them for a long time."

"So she got away?" What was this? A million questions?

"Sort of." I shrugged a little, "Alice and Jasper got her a house in Sequim." That seemed to amaze him.

"You're kidding."

"No." I said, "They did."

"If there's one person in the world who doesn't deserve something like that, it'd be her."

"Why?" I asked before I even thought about it, "She told me what Jack put her through, and it was almost as bad as what he put me through. Don't be mad at her."

"The difference here is that she deserved it. She made her choices, Leandra."

"So did you." I countered quietly, "She was just trying to keep her head above water after what you did. I don't blame you for what you did back then, so why are you blaming her for one choice she made when trying to deal with the choice you made?"

"Because the choice she made cost you your childhood." He replied, turning to face me.

"Then, thinking about it like that, it was you that cost me my childhood." I said, "Think about it. She never would have even looked twice at Jack if you hadn't treated her like shit."

"Is that what she told you?"

"No." I replied, "She told me not to blame you, and I don't, because that was like.. Forever ago, but don't go pointing fingers, dad. She never wanted you to have to leave me like you did. She never wanted that. She didn't even know about it until it was already done and too late to fix it." That was also a surprise to him, so my voice was quiet as I continued, "Yeah, she made her choice, but she has to live with that. Someone told me once that everyone has regrets. I know I do. She does too, and so do you."

"Leandra," He said, "My only regret is that I didn't hide you better when I had the chance. Instead, I had to trust that nutcase of a mother of yours with your life, and I knew I never should have."

"Listen." I sighed, and he fell quiet, "She might not have been there for me, but that's because she couldn't be. You don't know what it was like, knowing Jack for as long as I knew him. Nobody does, but she's the closest one to it."

"I think I have an idea." He replied, "I met the guy."

"No." I said, "You don't. Nobody does." I fell quiet for a second, thinking about it. When I spoke again, my voice was even quieter, "I don't know how to explain it right. It's like.. It's like.. Sometimes, someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all. You get used to it, and that's normal. That's how things are supposed to be. That's how it was for me.

"It stops hurting, until something makes you feel again. Almost like you forget about it, but it's always there. Until something makes you feel it again, and then it all comes back. The way you felt, the things you thought, even the things you thought you forgot.. Every word, every second.. You don't know. Even if you ask, and even if you listen, there's no way you know. You don't remember the things I remember. You haven't been where I've been. You haven't seen the things I've seen.

"Don't take it out on her, because she remembers her own things." I went on, "I can't pretend to know what she went through, because I wasn't there. I don't remember the things she remembers. I haven't been where she's been. I haven't seen the things she's seen, and neither have you. It seems so stupid to go on blaming somebody when blaming somebody doesn't change what happened. All that does is make you feel bad. Trust me."

He was silent for a moment, and I watched him look down.

"So what made you feel again?" He asked.

"I'm not really sure yet." I mumbled, "I think I'm still getting to that part, but I know it's going to be bad."

"You're really something special, you know that?" He smiled a little, and I gave him a small smile in return, "I mean it, Leandra. Every word you say amazes me."

"Except for the bad ones." I laughed quietly.

"Except for those." He nodded, hugging me into his side.

The rest of the hour passed a lot lighter than it had started. I gave holding Kaylee another try, and thankfully, she didn't choose to fart on me this time, but the second I handed her to my dad, she started to get irritated. He assured me it wasn't anything I did, but she was getting mad at all the moving around. Like he could speak her language, and knew what each sound she made meant.

He complimented on how clean the bathroom was after Kaylee needed to be changed. He compared it to one out of a magazine, and even said it was cleaner than the bathroom in his wife's room at the hospital. I could understand his slight surprise.

I had a feeling it was almost illegal for a bathroom to be that clean all the time. I'd pass on the message, but I couldn't help feeling a little surprised at his surprise. The entire house was the same way, not a single speck of dust daring to land, so why would the bathroom be any different?

He left not long later, after a particularly edgy phone call from Rachel. Apparently, she somehow knew that Kaylee was getting hungry, and my dad needed to get her home pronto. That he'd been gone too long.

I didn't quite understand it, and he didn't exactly explain it, but he acted like it actually was a big deal, so I didn't argue. Maybe Rachel had a little of the gift I had, or had Kaylee's eating schedule on some kind of timer. Whatever the case, she'd called, needing her baby back.

I stood outside long enough after he left for Mikah and Cole to make an appearance. I descended the steps, crossing the drive to stand with them on the other side of the driveway, closest to the trees.

"Should I change my shirt?" I asked, looking down at the clean fabric.

"You haven't lived until you've had a week-old baby fart on you." Mikah chuckled, and I gave him a look. I didn't find it that entertaining, "Hey, at least she didn't throw up, or her diaper didn't leak. That could have been a lot messier."

"Gross!" I turned a little.

"It happens." He replied defensively, "Babies are gross, but worth it."

"Good thing I'll never have any." I muttered, reaching for the lowest branch of the closest tree.

"Never is a long time, princess." He reminded me, "Who knows? You might change your mind when you get older."

"I swear on my life I'm _never_ having any kids." I reworded what I'd just said. I meant it, too.

"I'm sure I can change your mind between now and when you're old enough." He smirked, lifting me up high enough to reach the branch. Letting me hang there by my arms for a moment.

"Didn't you hear?" I asked, "I'm never even getting a boyfriend."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Why should I?"

"I admit, you've got a point there, but still." He said, "You've got so much to offer someone someday. Any guy would be lucky to have your company."

"I don't want one." I replied, "Seems like too much work."

"Find the right guy, princess, you won't have to lift a finger again for the rest of your life." I laughed at that, shaking my head.

Just as I let go of the branch, he caught me. Helping me to land safely back onto my feet.

"Don't you want someone you can actually boss around like that?" He asked me as I dusted my hands free of the sharp tree bark on my jeans.

"I don't need a boyfriend for that." I replied, and he smirked, "I already have you."

"I sense," Cole spoke up, having been pretty quiet up until that point, "That Mikah isn't the only one who has some growing up to do." I frowned a little, looking over at him. Confused, I couldn't understand why Mikah was suddenly laughing.

"Oh, no." Mikah told him, "No, no. Are you out of your mind?"

"Why not?" Cole asked, chuckling a little at his obvious discomfort.

"Because I don't want to die." Mikah replied incredulously, "Have you met Jasper and Emmett? Not to mention Alice. She scares the hell out of me as it is, and she's got Rosalie on her side."

"I'm talking years away." Cole defended himself.

"I doubt that they'll be more lenient in six or seven years. In fact, they'll probably beat my head in just because you suggested it, so thank you."

"What?" I asked, beginning to understand, "Mikah? You mean..? Uh-uh. No way."

"Why not?" Cole asked me this time.

"It'd be way too weird." I answered, "I mean, he's like one of the only friends I have. Besides Josh and Zack, and Alyssa and Alex, I mean."

"If you say so." Cole seemed oddly smug, "All I can say is that I'm not blind, darling. At least not as blind as you two appear to be."

Mikah and I glanced at each other, both he and I seeming to question his sanity. As Mikah looked away, I sighed. Shaking my head and starting back for the house.

"You're weird." I muttered. When nobody followed me, I paused. Turning back around to find them both gone. I frowned, "Guys?" That didn't seem normal. For them both to just leave like that, but I hesitated in moving toward the trees. I didn't want to go looking for them, but neither of them had told me to get into the house.

I looked back toward the house, considering just going inside anyway. Their sudden disappearance like that unnerved me. Like they suddenly found something better to do. I jumped pretty roughly as they were suddenly back, standing in front of me.

"Leandra," Mikah's tone was so much harder than I'd ever heard it before, "Go. Run inside." I was just about to move, when a sure voice stopped me mid-turn.

"That would not be wise." It was a female's voice, so I peeked around Mikah's side toward the trees. There stood a group of four. Three males, one female, all staring at me like I was a stain on someone's expensive carpet. A dull ache, a sense of familiarity struck me into stillness. Staring right back at them.

"Well, what do we have here?" That question was obviously rhetorical.

"Who are you?" Mikah asked, his tone obviously angry. Cole brought his hand out, shutting him up.

"We're prepared to cooperate." Cole told them, which told me they were important, "All we ask-"

"You do not ask anything." The female shut him up.

"Just leave the human alone." Cole went on as if she hadn't spoken.

"But it's the human we've come to see." One of the males replied, "You two. Over there."

"Whatever you want with her," Mikah spoke up, "I'm answering for her."

"That isn't what we asked." The female was losing her patience, "I suggest you do as you're told." Cole reached over, grabbing his sleeve. Mikah gave him a fiery glare, knowing what he was doing.

"Mikah," Cole told him, "It's best to do as they say."

"But-"

"Listen to me." He stressed. I couldn't help whimpering in fear, watching them move away. Leaving me standing there alone as two of the males from the opposite group neared them. Moving as Mikah and Cole moved. I whimpered again as they were both restrained roughly. That upset me to see.

They must not have needed the biggest male there, because he was the one that started my direction. He was huge. Easily as big as Emmett, maybe a little taller. Very, very intimidating. Me standing there in front of him, I was very easily intimidated. Over more than just his red eye color.

"They're not here." I muttered, taking a step back, "My family. They're not here."

"I know that." He replied almost sharply, and I shut up, "I'm here to see you."

"Me?" I asked, "Why me?"

"Why not you?" He asked in reply, "Do you have any clue, the slightest inkling, how against the law you are?" I looked down, "You're very lucky you're continuing to breathe this very moment. Tell me. Do you have the ability?"

Somehow, I knew what he was talking about. How did he know about it? I hesitated, holding my breath. I didn't know if I should tell him or not.

"Do you?" He asked again when I stayed quiet.

"Yeah." His tone startled me into speaking, "I do."

"Prove it."

"What?" I frowned, looking up at him.

"I want to be certain you have an ability that powerful." He seemed to be getting angrier by the second, "I need good news. Prove it to me."

"I-It doesn't work like that-" I cut off as he suddenly grabbed me by the throat, pressing me back against the wall of the house, and I let out a squeak of fear. He wasn't hurting me, but he very easily could. I instantly started to cry, scared beyond belief.

"Hey!" Mikah was less than pleased by this development, shaking off the one restraining him. He didn't get two steps before he was hitting the ground. It was suddenly very clear to me that he was in intense pain, but nobody was touching him. That only made me cry harder.

"Prove it to me." The one holding me told me over my sobs, bringing my attention back to him, "I don't want to have to kill you."

"I don't know how." I sobbed desperately, "It's not ready yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't control it." I explained as quickly as I could, "It just happens when it happens- I swear!"

"Leandra," Mikah spoke up, the pain he was in coating the sound of his voice, "Breathe. Calm down and really think about it. What can you tell him to make him believe you?"

"Silence, you." The female grumbled, obviously upping his pain as his quiet growls weren't so quiet anymore.

"Please don't kill me." I cried repeatedly, trying to think at the same time.

"She can't answer you like that!" Mikah snapped, "Give her a chance!"

As if agreeing, my neck was released and this guy took a step back. I did what I could to calm down in a timely manner, taking deep breaths and holding them.

"J-Just let me think." I whimpered.

"Hurry it up." The female snapped at me, "We haven't got all day." I looked around, searching my frazzled thoughts as quickly as I could, until my eyes landed on his pendant. The necklace around his neck.

I recognized that pendant, eyeing it closely. Staring at it while he crossed his arms in impatience.

"I know that." I said, pointing at it, "I know that, but.." I took a breath, frowning a little, "I don't know what it's for."

"Surely you've heard of the Volturi."

"Aro." I said instantly, as if that word made it click into place, "Marcus and Caius."

"Very good." He replied, skeptical and doubtful. His condescending tone gaining only laughs from his friends.

"You have to do better than that, Leandra." Mikah told me, "Try harder." I knew that, as that was information that easily could have been taught to me by my family, but every time I tried to pin-point the reason why I knew them so well, it refused to cooperate.

"I can't." I whimpered again, "I can't think about it."

"Well," Mikah growled, "I hate to rush you, but this is a little important, princess." Cole gave his own quiet growl, obviously not appreciating being restrained the way he was.

"I hate newborns." The female grumbled, bored and annoyed. I did what I could to think through the sounds of Mikah's brutal pain.

"Felix." I spoke, "Your name is Felix."

"Better." He allowed, "But not good enough."

Frustrated, I looked toward Mikah. His pain was making it even more impossible to think.

"Stop hurting him." I spoke up, and the female looked to me. Oddly, I knew it was her doing it. Just by looking at him, she was hurting him.

"You do not want my interrogation method." She told me, "I suggest you do as he says and try harder."

"Then stop hurting him." I snapped at her, "Like I said."

Incredulous at my tone, her expression finally showed something besides boredom.

"Don't even think about it." Mikah's growling tone regained her attention.

"Personally," Felix spoke up, "I'm tired of the games." Once more I was pinned by my neck, "It'd almost be worth Aro's anger to end those games."

"No it wouldn't." I mumbled through increased sobs, "It wouldn't be worth it. You want him to like you, don't you? Kill me, and he'll hate you. Take me to him, and you'll see. I dare you."

"Like Hell!" Mikah, outraged, attempted to stand. That didn't work too well. He wound up dropping right back down.

"I'm not bothering him with little bratty kids." Felix replied, laughing a little.

"You'll get in trouble for killing me." I added.

"Enough of this." The female sighed, "Felix. Watch the newborn." They so suddenly changed places. Felix now standing near Mikah, kicking him back down as he tried to stand up. The female now stood holding my neck, keeping me pinned.

"You have ten seconds to convince me of your ability." She told me pointedly.

"I told you!" I cried, "I can't just make it work like-"

"Try." Her patience had run out, "I've had a very bad day, and you're not helping."

"I'd do as she says." The male restraining Cole spoke up, "And quickly."

"I _can't_." I repeated, struggling against her grip.

"One." She began counting, "Two.." Unfortunately, five of those ten seconds were spent trying to think, and the other five seconds were spent stuttering.

Before I could even get a full word out, and without her even having to move, I was so suddenly in the most intense amount of pain. I'd never felt any pain like this before, and as bad as my beatings were, they never compared to this. My beatings were mostly concentrated. This pain was all over. From head to toe, screaming in agony. So quickly, so intensely, I couldn't make a sound.

Until I could, and I knew immediately that I'd never cried so loud in my life. Never, and that was saying something. It was one, consistent blinding bolt of pain that honestly felt like I was dying. It didn't take its time consuming me, but everywhere. All at once.

It lasted only seconds, but it felt like forever. She let me go, removing her hand from my neck and letting me drop. I dropped. Hitting the ground hard, and once my paralyzed muscles could move again, I curled up instantly in some form of an attempt at protecting myself while I cried loudly into the dirt. I trembled. Shook violently where I'd fallen.

"Again." She spoke over my cries, "Convince me in ten seconds."

I couldn't breathe, much less think. Though I could tell she'd stopped hurting me, the pain lingered. It lasted long after she'd let me go. It lasted the entire ten seconds I was supposed to be convincing her.

"Wrong answer." She said, and again, the pain renewed. With the pain, renewed my cries. Where I had even found the ability to cry, I had no idea. I cried all my breath out of me, and literally couldn't take another in. My whole body locked up again, otherwise I would have tried to move away. I didn't know where I'd go, though, so it wouldn't have done me any good anyway.

This time, the second she released me, I couldn't stay awake. I wound up passing out.

As I started to come around, I instantly recalled what the pain felt like. Like a left over memory of it was enough to wake me up. That, and I was being talked to.

"It's okay." Mikah was there, scooping me up off the ground, "It's okay now." I felt like I still couldn't breathe. Everywhere ached, but it was nowhere near the pain I felt before. It had faded, but it stayed.

I not only accepted Mikah's help in carrying me, but I deeply appreciated it. I doubted deeply I could walk on my own at that point. One arm supporting my shoulders, the other behind my knees, he carried me easily.

"They better be on their way back here now." Mikah continued, and I only then realized that Cole was right beside us. Opening and holding the door for Mikah. Mikah was worried, tense.

"No." I whined as he tried to put me down. I didn't want him to put me down yet. I needed him to keep holding me. He seemed torn between putting me down anyway and continuing to hold me, until I started to cry again. That solved his indecision as he held me more securely.

"I know." He told me, but he didn't speak again.

As much as I knew we'd all get into trouble for this, I couldn't help wishing so bad my family was there. I needed them here. I felt so confused. I didn't quite understand what I'd done so wrong. I didn't quite understand why I deserved that much pain. I would have cooperated fully had I only been given a chance. I would have told them anything, had I only had a single chance to think straight.

"Bunch of bullies," Cole growled from where he stood keeping watch from the doorway, "The whole lot of them. She never even stood a chance against them." Hearing his angry tone, I was glad Mikah was the one holding me.

My cries only continued. They didn't increase, or decrease, staying the same while I rested in his arms. I honestly felt like the entire surface of my skin should be bruised, but I was fine. I never wanted to experience that again for as long as I lived.

"Really?" Jasper's angry tone broke the silence about a minute later, "Are you serious?"

"We've got a huge problem." Mikah spoke up instead of putting me down. I looked over, meeting Jasper's angry expression. It had to be obvious that I'd been crying for a long while before they got there. Even with the continued tears trailing from my eyes.

"I'll say we do." Jasper countered, "What'd you do?"

"What happened?" Esme was so suddenly there, taking me from him. Into her own arms. Sitting with me on the couch and trying to calm me down. Her hand smoothing my hair from my tear-stained cheeks. It was as she sat with me that I realized just how badly I was shaking. I had no control over it.

"You remember your friends from the Volturi?" Mikah asked, "They thought they'd stop by to see her. Demanding her to prove she had the ability."

"It doesn't work like that." Alice muttered incredulously.

"Shit." Emmett sighed, and I definitely heard the growl in his voice.

"Well, they didn't believe her." Mikah went on, "Neither of us could do anything to help her. All trying did was piss them off even more. They didn't believe her. We're lucky they didn't kill her."

"How did she get like this?" Jasper demanded, suddenly beside the couch. Meaning, trembling uncontrollably and sobbing quietly.

"When Felix's method of questioning failed," Cole answered, "Jane stepped up. Leandra was scared, completely terrified, and she did try to offer them what she could remember, but it wasn't good enough."

"Jane only used her ability twice." Mikah added bitterly, "The second time was too much for her, and she passed out. I picked her up as soon as they were gone, and carried her inside. We just got here maybe a few minutes before you got here." It was silent for a moment, "Go check if you don't believe me. Their scent is still there."

"Where?" Jasper asked, already moving for the door, "Show me. Now."

"Out this way." Cole offered to lead him.

All this activity was too much on my already rattled mind, and I closed my eyes again. I just let go. Letting myself fall asleep almost the second my eyes closed.

"Why wasn't I called earlier?" I was startled awake now, abruptly awake at Carlisle's worried voice from beside me.

"You were busy." Alice explained, "And we figured she just needed to sleep it off."

He sighed, seeming relieved as I looked up at him. I was still in the living room, bundled in a blanket on the couch. Curled on my side. He kneeled there, looking closely at me. Probably concerned by the way I was trembling again, despite being coated in a cold sweat.

"Has she spoken?" Carlisle asked, turning to look at the rest of the room.

"She's been asleep the entire afternoon." Esme explained.

"I doubt she's been asleep." He murmured, looking to me again. He must have seen something good, as he was easing the more I met his eyes.

"Hi." I mumbled, and he smiled a little.

"Hi." He replied, "Are you okay?"

"It still hurts." I admitted, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Leandra." He said, "I never thought they'd come this direction after we met with them."

"Did I get everyone in trouble?" I asked quietly.

"No." He said confidently, "No, you didn't."

"I tried to remember anything," I muttered, "But I can't _think_ when I'm pinned like that."

"Felix pinned her." Mikah explained from the doorway, "Twice."

"How?" Carlisle asked.

"By her neck." He replied, "Last look, it wasn't too bruised, and she seems to be breathing fine."

"Felix wasn't hurting me." I said, "Just sort of holding me there. It scared me a lot, but it didn't hurt."

"Humor me?" He requested, and hesitantly, I pushed myself up, sitting upright on the couch. He reached forward, and as if reminded of Edward's advice the day before, I caught myself as I almost leaned away. Something I always did. I recognized the motion for what it was.

Just like he always did, he hesitated a moment before continuing to reach forward. How had I never noticed this before?

"Sorry." I mumbled, "Just jumpy, I guess." He knew by that that it was okay to continue. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward standing there. He nodded a little. I hadn't even notice him there before.

"It's understandable." Carlisle assured me. He carefully had me raise my chin to get a look at my neck. My skin felt too warm now that I had removed the blanket. Compared to the air in the room, and temperature of his fingers lightly brushing the light bruising. I shivered, leaning back. He seemed to allow that, concerned.

"Are you cold?" He asked, and I nodded a little. He looked over, "She needs a thinner blanket."

"If I'm cold, why thinner?" I frowned a little.

"In response to what you were put through, your temperature raised for various reasons." He explained, "Because you didn't allow yourself a chance to calm down naturally, it's staying that way. We need to try to lower it slowly and safely, and allowing you to tremble is the opposite of helpful. Try to stay awake for awhile longer." I nodded a little.

"You know so much." I muttered, surprised. I sighed as the blanket I'd been using was pulled away, replaced with a thinner one.

"I've found it quite useful." He accepted the compliment, "Especially recently."

I looked down briefly, "They didn't believe me."

"It's okay." He assured me, "That's not your fault. I don't want you thinking that it is."

"I can't help it." I replied, hugging the blanket tighter around me, "I should have tried harder."

"It's not your fault, shorty." Emmett told me, "I mean, hell. Look at you. They could have spared thirty seconds of their time to wait for an answer before doing what they did."

"Felix said he needed good news." I mumbled, glancing to him before looking back at Carlisle, "That he really didn't want to kill me, but he needed me to give him some kind of proof of what I could do. I'm sorry. I tried."

"I know." Carlisle assured me again, "I know you tried." I felt horrible. To know they might be in trouble because I couldn't remember anything when I needed to the most, the guilt I felt was strong.

"I'm sorry." I said again. I couldn't help it. Maybe the intense, crippling pain I'd felt as a result of failing to do what they needed me to do made me feel responsible, and my worry of letting him down made it even worse. A mix of the two. Perhaps one more than the other. Especially as I started to cry.

"Leandra, it's not your fault." Carlisle repeated almost firmly, "Nobody blames you."

"It is." I cried quietly, my tight voice breaking with emotion, "I should have tried harder."

"No." He replied, "It's not."

"She can't justify the pain she was given any other way." Edward spoke up. Carlisle glanced over, "To her, she was hurt so bad, so it must have been her fault. She doesn't understand. She's confused about what she did so wrong to deserve it." His quiet voice sounded bitter, angry.

"Jane is just a psychopath, shorty." Emmett offered, "You didn't do anything wrong." That didn't help me. I couldn't help it. I needed someone, and Carlisle was closest, so I leaned forward and hugged him. It wasn't exactly like he minded, thankfully. Returning the hug, leaving no doubt whether or not he was upset about it.

"It's not your fault, Leandra." He insisted.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed quietly, "I'm sorry." The position I was in, half seated and half laying down, stretched forward and hugging him was uncomfortable, but I didn't care. Using my grip on him, I moved. Kneeling up, which helped ease the discomfort.

I don't know how long I stayed there hugging him, but he let me stay there, despite the way I shivered again. Returning my hug tightly, but not restrictively. It was a careful mix between the two. Any tighter of a hug, and I'd want to move, but any looser of a hug, and it wouldn't have done much good.

I stayed there until I started to calm down and breathe easier. The guilt turning my stomach still burned painfully, but Carlisle wasn't mad at me. I could tell, and I clung to that. I needed to hold onto that. It meant more to me than I would ever admit out loud. I'd messed up, that was clear, but he wasn't mad at me for it.

It was silent that whole time, aside from my quiet apologies. Until Edward spoke up.

"It isn't your fault, Leandra." He assured me himself, "Jane is the kind of person that likes to cause pain. She probably would have done that even if you had given them the information she wanted." From where I kneeled, my arms wrapped around Carlisle's neck in a grip that couldn't be budged, I looked at him.

"The pain you felt," He went on, "Was a result of them not getting what they wanted from us. She was irritated with us. Not you." When he worded it that way, it helped. Significantly. Not enough to make me let go of Carlisle, but it helped nonetheless.

"Then she should have kept her damn gift on me." Mikah grumbled, "Did she really have to turn on the smallest one there?"

"That seems to be a habit of hers." Jasper grumbled right back, agreeing with him.

"Her patience was already thin." Edward added, "So finding you, Leandra, was exactly what she wanted."

"It's not your fault." Carlisle repeated yet again. I sniffled a little, nodding. I wasn't in any rush to let him go yet, though. It had been a long time since I'd hugged anyone like this. This tightly, and for once, it felt okay to do so now.

"My first run-in with the Volturi," Cole muttered, "And I can't say that I'm impressed."

"I'm sorry." Carlisle turned a little to look his direction, "I wasn't meaning to cause you any trouble."

"It's alright, Carlisle." Cole replied, "I assure you. I'm only sorry I couldn't do more for her."

I felt less guilty, but I felt sore. Emotionally and physically. Scolded, hurt. I knew that would fade in time, but I'd always remember what it felt like. I'd never forget it.

"This is a problem." I mumbled, "Isn't it?"

"Depending on what they decide to do," Carlisle replied, "It can potentially be one, yes."

"You mean if they decide to tell Aro about me or not." My voice continued to tremble along with the rest of me, my grip tightening around Carlisle's neck at just his name.

"Yes." Carlisle confirmed.

I whimpered, shaking my head, "I can't see him."

"And yet, you offered to have them take you to him?" Mikah asked. Finally, I found it in me to let go of Carlisle, leaning back so I could look at Mikah easier. My knees thanked me.

"What?" Emmett barked, "Shorty, have you lost your freaking mind?"

"They were hurting him." I reasoned, "It seemed like the only thing I could do. They didn't want to, anyway. Saying it'd just bug him."

"They really didn't believe you, then." Alice sighed, glancing to Jasper, "Because if they did, they'd waste no time in taking you to him. Whether you offered or not. If Aro thinks I was somehow lying to him.."

"It'd be a worse problem if he finds out you weren't." Jasper pointed out, "There's no way he'd leave her here if he finds out about what she can do. Even before her ability is fully developed."

"We'll discuss this later." Carlisle spoke up, putting an end to their thinking out loud, "This isn't helping her."

"I can't see him." I repeated, "Don't let him find me."

"I don't quite understand how she's as afraid of the thought of him as she is of the thought of Jack." Jasper frowned.

"Neither does she." Edward confirmed.

"What's it like in there?" Emmett asked him. Meaning, in my head.

"It's difficult to explain." He replied as I looked over at him, "She knows Aro. That's a given, but the reason why or how is stuck. Just underneath the fact that she knows him. It's like.." He paused, listening, "Trying to read a book with half of the words missing. Not only whole words are missing, but half of each word is gone as well."

"_Thank_ you." He finally found the comparison I needed.

It was becoming clear to me that they had no idea what to do, but my stomach hurt. That was more than enough to tell me that it didn't end when the four of them left. I knew my reactions well enough by now to know for sure that it wasn't over.

I eventually did calm down. The ache in my head leaving no choice in the matter. Sitting there, leaning against Esme's side, it was quiet now in the room. Everyone no doubt calming down from the afternoon and learning to face the new possibility of even more trouble.

I had to admit, though, how relieved I was that everyone was okay. They were fine.

"When does stuff stop coming?" I had to ask that question, "I thought it was supposed to be easier after today. Not harder."

"I'm sorry, princess." Mikah murmured, "I couldn't help you."

"I know." I replied immediately, "She wouldn't let you. I don't blame you."

"I think.." He mused, "You were onto something, though."

"I was?" I asked, curious now.

"Remember when Felix said it'd almost be worth Aro's anger?" I winced at the reminder, "Remember what you said?"

"I remember." I muttered, "That Aro would hate him for killing me."

"Why?" Mikah asked, "Why would Aro hate him? Leandra, you threatened him with that statement. There's got to be a reason why you'd do that."

"I was just.." I sighed, "I don't know. Saying anything it took."

"You weren't just pulling responses out of nowhere." He argued, "And they heard that."

"I heard it too." Cole nodded a little from his silent place by the door.

"I don't know if I meant it or not." I replied, shaking my head.

"You know more than you're admitting." Mikah said, "Out with it, princess." I looked down.

"Shorty?" Emmett prompted.

"I remember him." I finally muttered, "It's nothing really.. Like I don't remember anything specific, so I don't know why.. I mean, I do know, but it's.." I whined, frustrated, "I don't _know_!" Edward looked down.

"Slow down." Alice told me, "Sort it out. If it's there, you can sort it out, but you have to give yourself a chance."

"I _can't_." I sighed, shaking my head again. They weren't getting it.

"It's there." Alice assured me, "Just try-"

"I _can't_." I stressed again, "I won't do it. Please stop pushing me on this. Ask me anything else, and I'll tell you, but not that."

"Why can't you?" Jasper asked, changing the direction of questioning.

"I'm too scared." I replied, "Something's there that I don't want to see. I know it, and I'm listening to it."

"What if I help you?"

"It's not that easy." I mumbled, "Ask me about _any_thing else. _Any_thing but Aro. I'm _begging_ you this time." The emotion in my tone emphasized that, "_Please_ don't make me look for the answer to that."

"Wow." Emmett muttered, looking to Jasper as well, "Well, now I'm scared _for_ her. What the hell did he do to her last time to make her this afraid now?" I'd always been this afraid. I just never had to admit it until now.

Nobody replied to that, but Mikah was watching me. Obviously thinking hard, probably wondering the same thing among other things.

"So," Jasper murmured, trying to understand, "Right now, you'd tell me anything I asked, but not that?"

"Not that." I confirmed.

"Leandra, the only other thing you've ever refused to discuss like this was what Jack used to do to you during the night." He pointed out, "Do you realize that?"

"I know." I sniffled a little, looking down, "But I'd rather talk about that right now than talk about anything about Aro." I hesitated, "I don't want to talk about that either, but I will if I have to."

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." Jasper replied, "You know that." Doubtful, I looked down. How many times before had they refused to take 'I don't want to talk about it' as an answer? I didn't bother to reply.

My doubt must have shown on my face, and they saw it.

"Leandra?" Jasper asked and I took a breath.

"Ever since I've been here, you've always made me tell you stuff." I replied, "Even when I didn't want to. In the beginning, it was wanting me to tell you about Jack. I got out of that one at first, but I eventually had to call. Then after that, it was wanting me to tell you what I dreamed about. My memories and stuff. I couldn't ever just not talk about something. Why would this be any different?"

"We're not going to ask about him anymore tonight." Alice assured me, probably seeing how close I was to being too upset as it was, "It's okay." I believed her. I took another breath, deeper this time. I was trembling again, but my uncontrollable shivering had nothing to do with feeling cold, despite the way I did.

I did feel cold, but it wasn't a physical cold. A mental cold. A reaction I'd have if I were standing in the middle of a snow storm, but I was safe at home. It was odd, but I didn't think much of it. I just grabbed for the blanket.

"And we only pressured you to open up to prove you could." Jasper defended himself.

"I know." I replied easily, quietly, "I know. I'm not mad about it, or blaming you guys for anything. I'm just saying that when you want to know something, and I don't want to talk about it, you still ask."

"I think we better change the subject." My renewed trembling was concerning Carlisle.

"Are you cold?" Esme asked me, already feeling my cheek.

"No." I mumbled, "But I feel like it." She frowned, "And I'm a little hungry."

That surprised more than Esme, given the glances. Any time I went through anything half as stressful as I'd gone through today, or any time I was half as emotional as I was now, I'd be too sick with nervousness or emotion to eat. That was just how it went, and everyone including myself had gotten used to that, so this was definitely different. Something was changing.

"Oh," She said, her surprise in her tone, "Of course. Give me just a few minutes." I nodded, letting her stand up. She was eager, probably overjoyed at my hunger. It meant I'd eat. Being hungry meant I'd eat more than just enough to keep me alive.

"That's new." Emmett was the one to point it out.

"My dad was here today." I mumbled, giving the new change of subject.

"Oh yeah." Mikah smiled a little, "Yeah, he showed up. Brought the baby by for her to meet."

"Oh boy." Emmett sighed, "Where is it buried?"

"She did very well with her, actually." Mikah replied, "Leandra held her a few times, and treated her carefully." Gaining only more surprised looks, I looked down. Curling tighter in my blanket as he went on, "And defended Gina against her father's accusations."

"Who are you, and what have you done with shorty?" Emmett asked me.

"She really was amazing." Mikah said, "Like a whole other person. I almost didn't recognize her, but I was amazed nonetheless."

"What changed?" Alice asked, almost hesitantly taking Esme's vacated spot.

"I don't know." I muttered, shrugging a little, "I've never seen anything so small in my life. Even the puppies at the mall that day looked bigger."

"The baby?"

"Yeah." I replied, "I just.. I remember looking at her and knowing I could do anything to her, and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. It scared me into being careful, I guess." Smiling a little, Alice looked over at Carlisle.

"There's your next dose of humanity, shorty." Emmett replied, "Just because you can do something to hurt someone else, doesn't always mean you do."

"I knew that before." I muttered.

"But now you've learned it." He said, "Learning through experience is a lot better than just having someone tell you about it."

"Remember what I said about the instinct to protect children?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded a little as I looked over at him, "I was worried that you hadn't had a chance to develop that, what with the way you tend to treat others your age, and Lily. The fact that you can recognize that instinct at all is very relieving."

"I don't know." I said, "I might like her less when she gets old enough to talk."

"How is this baby different than Hunter?" Emmett asked, and I barely managed to hold back the glare at the mention of his name. Looking down instead.

"That might have something to do with the relationship she has with her mother versus the one she has with her father." Alice murmured, "She has an okay relationship with him. She's always had her differences with her mother. She sees Hunter as part of her."

"I see Hunter as part of Jack." I muttered, "I'm not okay with that. That makes me want to drop kick it off the roof, just to see how far I have to drive to run it over."

I had a feeling Emmett turning around meant he was having trouble not laughing.

"Leandra." Alice scolded lightly.

"I don't care if it shouldn't matter who his stupid dad is." I explained, "I don't care if he's my stupid brother. I just want to kill it before it has a chance to hurt anyone."

"There's your answer." Alice sighed, glancing over at Emmett.

"Anyone related to Jack is no good."

"Tell that to Heather." Jasper immediately told me, and that certainly shut me up. I was wrong. Heather was one of the greatest humans I knew. Josh and Zack had their quirks, but so did I.

"Oh yeah." I mumbled.

"Leandra, having Jack as a father makes no difference." He went on, "The way Jack is.. It's not genetic. It's taught, a learned behavior. Just the way he taught you, Ken taught him."

"I know." I sighed, "I just.. Hate it. I hope I never see Hunter again. She can keep him way the hell over there."

I finally started to warm up after eating, and I definitely felt better physically. It didn't take me long to get full, with how little food I'd been dealing with lately, but it was still more than I was used to.

I sat there for a few minutes once I was done eating, just thinking. Unfortunately, my thoughts weren't on anything good. I had my family back now, and that was a relief, but there were still so many things out there, just waiting to pounce and take them from me. I had the strongest feeling that Aro was one of them. Jack was definitely one of them. Nothing would make his day more than taking everything from me.

"Leandra?" Esme spoke up, and I looked up, "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"No." At least I was honest, "I don't know what to do. I-I mean, there has to be a reason, right? There has to be a reason why I remember so much, and why I have this stupid ability at all. What good is it if I can't do anything about the things I remember or see? It might not be my fault, but to me, it feels like it is. I couldn't give them _any_thing enough to convince them."

"I'm glad you didn't." She admitted, and I frowned a little, "Leandra, had they been convinced of your ability, they more than likely would have taken you today."

"How is it good, though, if they think you're lying to them?" I asked, "Aren't they like.. Important? Isn't it bad to lie to them?"

"By the way they left you alive," She said, rounding the counter, "They don't know what to believe. They know that there's a potential gift in you. One you haven't even managed to open all the way yet, so to speak. The fact that they left you alive and relatively unharmed tells me that they really didn't want to risk killing you, and will probably leave it up to Aro to find out exactly what's going on here."

"That's bad." I mumbled, "That's bad, right? He could come here to see for himself. I don't remember anything, but I remember enough.. Enough that I don't want him anywhere near me. I'm afraid of what I don't remember about him. That says enough, right?" I needed some sort of hope.

"That says enough." She nodded, "We'll do everything we can to keep him from you."

"I can't see him." I mumbled, shaking my head, "I can't do it."

"I know you say you don't want to try to remember," She murmured, "But it might help us protect you a little better if we knew." She definitely had a point there. If I could tell them something, anything about why I hated the thought of Aro so much, they'd have an idea of what to watch for.

I jumped a little at her hand smoothing my hair down my back, not expecting it. I only realized then how I trembled again. This was ridiculous.

"I'm cold again." I admitted quietly.

"You don't feel cold." She pointed out, even more concerned.

"I'm not cold," I replied, "But I feel like it. Like it's all in my head."

"It could be a side-effect of Jane's ability." She mused, and that helped.

"So.." I mumbled, "What she does.. She just makes me think I'm in pain?"

"Exactly." She replied, "You're not actually in any pain, but she makes it feel like you are. Even with the least amount of pain, it'd be too much for any human to handle. They can't bear it the way we can."

"She used it on Mikah first." I sighed, looking back down at the counter, "He couldn't help me, but he tried."

"I know." She nodded a little, "Cole told us."

"Alec didn't even have to do anything." That seemed to catch her attention.

"You remember him?"

"He was there, wasn't he?" I asked, looking over.

"Leandra," I looked over at Jasper and Carlisle's arrival in the kitchen, "Nobody mentioned Alec."

I shrugged, "He just stood there."

"You're remembering more than you're telling us." Jasper pointed out.

"It's just names." I shook my head again, "I remember names, and faces. Abilities too, I guess.." My mind forced me to shut up, to change the direction of what I was saying, "I remember them, too." I frowned a little, "How long until I stop shaking so much? It bugs."

"That is concerning." Carlisle replied, stepping closer.

He pressed lightly along the side of my neck, just under my jaw. I didn't know what he was looking for there, but it was something he did when I wasn't feeling very good. Other than being cold, I didn't feel that bad. Physically, I only ached a little. I wasn't sick or overly tired.

"Your temperature is normal." He frowned a little.

"Like I said," I replied, "It's like it's all in my head. I don't feel cold, but I'm cold." I sighed, "Maybe it's just because I'm tired."

"That's a definite possibility." As if emphasizing my point, I yawned. I wasn't sure how I could be so tired after sleeping all day, but then again, weirder things had happened.

I migrated from the kitchen back into the living room, not ready to go back to sleep yet. At least, that's what I told myself. I laid on the couch, half laying and half sitting propped up against the back. Nobody in the room spoke, and it was quiet. I knew I was watched. Closely watched, but I didn't watch them back. Mostly focusing on my loosely drawn up knees.

"Princess." I tiredly looked up as Mikah approached. Oddly able to get close to me without Jasper jumping in to set him on fire. I watched as he carefully crouched beside the couch, "You should get some rest."

"I know I should." I muttered, "But I'm nervous. I don't think you know what it's like to be afraid of the inside of your own head."

"You're right," He said, "I don't know what that's like, but torturing yourself like this can't help that. I hate to see you this way."

"I can't help it." I admitted, tracing the pattern on my pajama bottoms with my finger.

"Carlisle suggested giving you something to help you sleep." He pointed out.

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" He asked, "Princess, you know you're safe here."

"But I wasn't the last time something made me sleep." I said, "And before that. All that did was trap me in whatever dream I had." He hesitated, thinking for a moment.

"Is that such a bad thing?" He asked, "Being made to dream?"

"Are you joking?"

"Not at all." He replied, "I just think maybe it'd help you to take a closer look without being tempted to turn away from it."

"That's what Edward said." I muttered, looking down again, "You wouldn't agree with him if you knew what it was like. Torturing myself by staying awake is a lot better than torturing myself by going to sleep."

He forced a sad smile. Sighing, he stood up.

"You know what I used to do when Emily or Alyssa would have a bad dream?" He asked, "And trust me, they had a lot of them." I watched him sit down.

"What?" I asked, and he gestured for me to move closer. Doing so, I only tensed a little bit as he carefully pulled me over, very gently sitting me across his lap. Sort of half way cradling me. Wrapping his arms around me. Not tightly, not in the least, but securely.

"Here's what I want you to do." He said, his voice quiet as I settled cautiously into place. Not quite relaxed, but hesitantly accepting my new position. He spoke again, "For every number I say, you have to count the seconds up until you get to that number. Don't count out loud, but in your head. Close your eyes and count in your head. Don't think of anything but counting. Only focus on the numbers, okay?" That seemed easy enough.

"Okay." I mumbled, letting my eyes close.

"Only focus on the numbers." He stressed lightly, "What they look like, what they sound like, and so on. If you're creative enough, what they smell like."

Laughing a little, I nodded, letting him know I understood.

"We'll start easy." He said, "Five."

In my head, I forced myself to count slowly. Matching the second tick of the clock across the room.

"Eight." Was the next number. Starting from one, I counted up to eight. Eleven was the next one, fourteen following. I didn't make it to seventeen, out cold before ten.

I did wake slightly to being moved, lifted from where I had fallen asleep, but I was back to sleep before I even fully settled into the new set of arms.

My dreams were an odd place. I had no idea what on earth I was looking at, but it was bright. Very bright, bright enough to hurt my eyes. Hurting my head in response. Darker shapes around me, I recognized as trees.

I was alone, just standing there seemingly in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't figure out why it was so bright, because it didn't exactly feel like the sun was out. I wasn't warm. I wasn't cold either, but I sensed that wherever I was, it was cold.

I found myself wondering. Maybe this was why I kept shivering so much earlier? Because it was cold here? Why would I dream about being cold?

Why would I dream about snow?

I suddenly recognized the brightness around me as snow. A whole lot of snow. More around me came into focus at that realization. I could see further around me in the trees, but the more I could see, the worse my head ached. Not unbearably, but enough to notice.

I also had to wonder. How could I feel pain if I was supposed to be asleep? I was aware of my pain, but I didn't feel it. It was there, but it wasn't. I just kept looking. Searching for anything to make this make sense. It was empty. Nothing but me, the trees, and the now softly drifting snow.

Turning on the spot, I didn't see anything I recognized, but I knew there was more. Something else I was supposed to be looking at. I reached a hand out, intending to push the branches beside me apart so I could look even further in that direction, but the second my hand touched the branch, I woke up.

Sitting up sharply, suddenly awake in my bed.

I was disoriented at first. I wasn't cold, but too warm again. I wasn't standing in the middle of the snowy forest. I was at home, in bed, but I could still feel it. The snow around me, the sting as it landed against my face. I could still feel the branch I didn't get to move against my fingers. I could still smell the trees, the sharper smell of pine against the softer cold smell of snow.

Oddly, my heart pounded. Racing, like I'd been panicking, but I didn't recall that from my dream. I heard it, the sound my own heartbeat in my ears. The pressure in my head only amplifying that.

"Leandra?" I jumped at Esme's quiet voice beside me. I realized she'd been the one to wake me up, "Are you okay?" She must have heard my heart racing, and come in to check on me.

"I don't know." I replied, laying back down and covering my eyes. It was true. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I suddenly climbed out of bed, nearly tripping as my feet got caught in the sheet. Kicking free of the sheet, I had to check something.

I wandered over to the window, opening the curtain. Only to see a perfectly dry front yard. No snow anywhere. It hadn't even rained in awhile, making everything seem sharper instead of a softer wet area.

I rounded, refusing to accept that. Leaving my room, a very puzzled Esme following me as I strode through the living room and outside.

"Shorty?" Emmett asked, obviously concerned. I stood there on the porch, looking around. Only slightly cold, considering my temperature was raised. I felt the cold sweat sticking, clinging to my skin in a very uncomfortable way. Especially as a light breeze blew, but it wasn't the same cold I knew.

"What are you doing?" Esme asked from the doorway.

"Where's the snow?" I asked, turning to look back at her. I barely noticed how I trembled.

"Honey," She murmured quietly, "It's hardly June." That couldn't be right. Frowning, I turned around again. No evidence of snow anywhere around wanted to agree with what she said, but I was stuck. I firmly believed I'd been there.

"No." I denied the obvious.

"Come back inside." She urged me gently, "You're running a fever." When I didn't move on my own, she carefully took my hand and tugged me back toward the house. I allowed that, deeply confused and still searching for the snow.

Almost numbly, I let her sit me down on the couch. Still trying to make sense of this. I'd been there, in the middle of the snowy forest, not two minutes ago. Now I was suddenly here, in June where there could never be any snow.

Only one thing made sense.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, looking up at her.

"She and Jasper are out." She replied simply, "They'll be back soon." That oddly seemed to bother me. I needed her here now. Standing up, I paced a little. So many things were going on in my head, and I had no idea how to make sense of it all.

"Breathe, honey." She watched me, and I realized I'd been holding my breath. I did as she asked, and suddenly, I was in tears. Even I was taken off guard by the strength of these cries.

A little like Jasper's gift, without Jasper around, something was causing me intense emotional pain. My heart just suddenly broke, shattering right there, and I had no choice but to react to that. My legs, no longer able to hold me, gave out. Before I could hit the carpet, Esme was there to catch me. I was upset, and very deeply so. Hurting intensely, and I didn't even know why.

I couldn't calm down. It reminded me of the night I dreamed about Jack, but even more intense. More painful, more frightening. My thoughts nothing but a jumbled clump of nothing I could see.

"Emmett." Esme spoke up, "Go find them." I didn't even look to see him leave.

Tears flooded from my eyes too quickly to catch, and breathing was impossible. I had no idea what this was, but I didn't like it. It hurt, so unbelievably bad, and there was nothing but a violent sense of hopelessness and ripping heartbreak to explain it. I was crushed, fallen right there.

Esme's arms around me seemed to be just enough to hold me in one piece, but I knew if she ever let go, I'd crumble.

"What happened?" I looked over at Carlisle's concerned voice right beside me. He was right to be concerned, considering the cries that tore from me with voice-breaking intensity.

"I don't know." Esme replied, obviously at a loss, "I'm assuming she saw something while she was asleep." I so suddenly didn't trust my stomach. Turning, I forced myself out of Esme's arms to race toward the bathroom.

Emmett didn't bring Jasper back in time to keep me from throwing up, but kneeling there is where I started to calm down. At first, just enough to breathe. After that, it was enough to slow my crying until I could see straight. With Esme beside me, she only helped me.

Unlike with all my other fits like that, I wasn't embarrassed by this one. I knew this one was justified, but _why_? Why was it justified? I felt different. It had been a long while since I'd felt scared enough to try to numb myself to it. My thoughts were still trying to force themselves through my head at the same time. Making a giant, jumbled mess in there.

I had no idea what the hell the snow was supposed to mean, if it even had anything to do with why I was crying.

I was eventually able to leave the bathroom. I'd gathered myself enough to move on my own. Rinsing my mouth thoroughly, I could see just how pale I was in the mirror. I hadn't been that pale yesterday. Whatever it was that caused this emotion, my body was reacting to it in a very upsetting way.

Everyone was concerned, and rightfully so. I was too, but I could hardly tell them that. Alice grabbed my hand the second I was close enough and led me over to the couch. Sitting me down, sitting quickly beside me.

"Tell me."

"I don't know." I mumbled. The same answer she'd gotten every other time.

"Those emotions," She said, "They mean something to you. What were they?"

I took a breath, "I don't know. A mix of things, I guess. I've never felt like that before, so I don't know what it would mean." I closed my eyes, shaking my head again, "I don't want to think about this anymore."

She sighed, "Leandra-"

"_Please_." I murmured, begging her this time, "_Please_. I'll tell you everything I remember the second I remember it, I _promise_, but pushing it isn't going to get me anywhere." There must have been something in my eyes, or in my voice, because she didn't press it.

"Okay." She allowed, "Are you okay?"

"No." I replied, "But pushing it won't help me."

"Can you at least tell me anything?" She asked. I frowned, looking down. It was easy to recall the snow, but I doubted that'd mean anything to her.

"She was disoriented when she woke up." Esme answered for me, and Alice looked over at her.

"That's happened before." Alice murmured.

"Not like this." Esme replied, "I've never seen this before."

"I was looking for the snow." I muttered, gaining everyone's attention, "Because that's where I was before I woke up."

"Snow?" She asked. She didn't seem confused or doubting of my sanity. Curious, needing confirmation.

"Snow." I confirmed for her, "And trees. I felt it, I was there. I can still feel it."

"That partially explains the shivering." She mused, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch for me. I accepted it eagerly, even if it didn't help me. She spoke again, "It also explains your shivering yesterday."

I felt like I was losing my mind over this. Trembling like I was freezing, yet too warm to the touch.

"Part of your mind is still there." She explained, "You're stuck there until you remember whatever it is you need to remember. This is going to keep happening."

"Why now?" I asked, confused.

"Maybe it had something to do with what Jane put you through." She replied, "Maybe a final decision was made, and you're reacting to that. There can be lots of reasons."

I looked over, as everyone did, at Mikah's arrival.

"Is she okay?" He asked, obviously concerned.

"What'd you do to me?" I suddenly snapped, much to his surprise, "I didn't have that stupid dream until you made me sleep like that!"

"Leandra," Alice spoke, "You would have had that dream whether or not he made you sleep. It was obviously already there before last night." She was right, of course, so I sighed and looked down, "I know you're scared, but we'll figure this out, okay?" Hesitantly, I nodded, "In the meantime, I want you to do what you can to clear your head."

"But you-"

"I know." She said, "I've always told you to focus on it, but right now, that's obviously not possible. Whatever it is has gotten you too worked up, too quickly, and I don't like that."

"New subject." Mikah spoke up, "Did you still want me to look around, and make sure that house is safe? Because I'm already pretty sure nobody has been in that place for at least fifty years-"

"Check again." Jasper told him.

"Is this just a way to keep me away from-"

"Yes." Jasper replied, shutting him up, "Now go."

"Okay." Mikah muttered defensively, putting his hands up in defeat, "I'm going, I'm going. I know when I'm not wanted."

"If only." Jasper sighed, shaking his head.

"What house?" I asked quietly, looking over. Mikah paused, obviously not sure.

"Oh," Alice replied, "It's just a little house we found. See, we found this little house out in the woods, and we figured Edward and Bella might like a house of their own, so Esme's volunteered to renovate it as a birthday present for Bella. I agreed, as that's a pretty amazing-"

"Wait," I spoke up, and she fell quiet, "They're getting married?"

"Yeah." Alice answered with a smile, "Not that I didn't see it coming. I mean, anyone with eyes could see it coming-"

"Wait." I muttered again. Part of me wanted to feel bad about interrupting her repeatedly, but there was something in that. My heart sank a little, frowning as I looked over at her.

The house.

"The house." I mumbled, "Their house."

"Yes." She replied, concerned now. She could clearly see how much I wanted to cry so suddenly.

"It's out in the woods." I murmured, and she stayed quiet, "Esme renovated it for them. It's real small, and.." I trailed off as she watched me intently, "After the wedding. After.. Everything.."

I was getting upset again, as things began to get clearer. With this subject, Mikah had given my thoughts a way through. Like once the first thought made it through, everything else started snapping into place. Like magnets lining up.

I remembered what happened, further ahead of myself now than I've ever been able to before. Months ahead. Everything that happened before. Here it was, only June, and I saw December. January. The trouble. The snowy clearing, and everything before it.

Aro.

I looked up at Alice's deeply concerned gaze, I knew she could tell. She could see it. I remembered.

I remembered Aro. I remembered what made me so special. I remembered the deal I made with him, and my breathing, my heartbeat stopped, started twice as fast when I remembered why I made the deal I did.

I remembered the fight.

"Leandra, breathe." Alice told me quietly.

"The wedding." I started to cry, "No. It's happening again. It's happening all over again."

"What happens at the wedding, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, and I shook my head.

"No." I cried, "Not the wedding. After the wedding. It can't happen again. Please don't let it happen again." But it was all leaving me. Quickly. The more I panicked, the faster it faded.

I tried hard to hold onto what I remembered, all while crying and my frightened thoughts ran dizzily through my head. Carlisle stepped from Esme's side, crossing the room to us as Alice hugged me into her side. I hadn't had to be this upset in awhile.

"Leandra," Carlisle kneeled beside the couch, "What happens?"

"I-I.." I paused, struggling to calm down enough to straighten my thoughts again. I let out a few more sobs as more started leaving, "There's a lot." What were my memories telling me?

"Don't let them get married." I sobbed, begging through tears.

"Why not?" Carlisle asked urgently, "Leandra, we need to know."

"I know." I whimpered, "I just.." I took a breath, "Aro. Carlisle, something happens that brings him here. Don't let him find me." I was scaring them, I could see it in the way he looked back at Esme, "It all starts when they get married."

"What starts?" He couldn't understand. I was getting frustrated with myself, and it showed. The further my frustration pushed anything I remembered of the more recent future, the more I tried to speak, but stopped myself.

"Slow down." Alice told me, and I looked to her, my sobs only continuing. Her firm gaze met mine, and she gave me a nod. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I struggled. By concentrating on my breathing, I could calm myself down enough to think somewhat clearly. Thinking clearly allowed me to see it all again, which both upset me, and relieved me.

"I remember now." I mumbled in a whisper, opening my eyes, "It's there."

"Now, try again." Alice murmured patiently, and I took another breath, "Slowly. One thought at a time."

"They get married." I mumbled, and she nodded, "And they leave." She nodded again, "But they come back early, because.." I trailed off. I really didn't want to say it. It wasn't that I didn't remember. I just didn't want to say it.

"Because..?" Alice prompted. The room was silent. I bit my lip, hesitating. Hesitating only made sure I stayed quiet. She sighed, looking to Jasper, "Call Edward. Tell him to get here now." Immediately, Jasper turned, leaving the room.

I didn't try to speak, afraid if I did, I'd forget what all I knew. Bringing and keeping it forward while I stared down at the comforter.

It was pretty embarrassing.

It took only minutes for Edward to get there. It was silent, and the second he pushed passed Mikah, his eyes met mine. He came forward, straight to me and I looked down. Jasper followed him back into the room.

I wasn't stupid. I knew how babies were made.

"That's impossible." He told me immediately, and I kept my eyes down as I heard the frown in his tone, "That can't happen."

"It does." I mumbled, "It did."

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, but Edward ignored him. Sitting in the open spot to my other side. He was intent.

"Show me the rest." He urged, and I sighed.

I did my best, recalling the pieces of what I remembered. I recalled everything I remembered, starting from the wedding. The two weeks he and Bella were gone, then their return. The panic in the family, the not knowing what the baby would turn out to be.

The suffering she went through, voluntarily. The solution, and how much better things seemed for a day or so. I recalled the wolves, what Jacob did for us, and the night the baby was born. How close it came, but the resolution.

By then, my head really ached with the effort it took to keep my thoughts straight. It was harder for me the further I went, but I managed to.

I recalled for him what happened after, how much better things got. Yet again. Until the trouble with the Volturi. I didn't know how it happened, or how the Volturi found out, as I wasn't told much back then.

I could only recall for him what I found out from Alice and Jasper, while being stuck in Brazil. My tears started again as I recalled the vision I'd had. The vision within the vision that made everything foggier, but I recalled the gist of it. It wasn't pretty.

The room stayed silent, Edward especially as he focused on my thoughts and my memories.

I moved passed the vision I'd had, struggling to calm down enough to continue. The outcome, but the agreement I had to make with Aro, and why I made it. I recalled the reason he wanted an agreement.

"This isn't good." He finally sighed, but continued listening.

I recalled what I was to Aro. How important I was.

I finally looked up, meeting his eyes as things started getting harder, much harder to see, and I had to stop.

"Wow." Edward sighed, standing. It seemed like he didn't know what to say.

"Out with it, Eddy." Emmett muttered, "Before we die of curiosity."

"Just.." He murmured in reply, "Give me a moment. That was a lot of information all at once. I'm a little overwhelmed. I do know what has to change, however."

"You mean, not let it happen?" I asked tiredly, and he nodded, "But what about Jake?"

"What about him?" He asked almost incredulously.

"Isn't imprinting sort of important to them?" I asked, "Seth said-"

"I'm not risking Bella's life for him." He replied quietly, an edge of bitterness in his tone, "And definitely not if he's intending to-"

"He's not intending anything." I mumbled, "He didn't expect it any more than you did."

"Yoo-hoo." Emmett called, irritated, "Curious."

"And besides." I shrugged a little, inspecting my fingers shyly, "I liked her."

"She's not real, Leandra." He told me, the defense in his voice making him seem harsh. I flinched a little, biting my lip to keep from whimpering. He sighed, "I'm sorry."

He gave a glance around. Several seconds of silence later, he finally decided to fill them in.

"I'm paraphrasing." Edward told them, "The wedding goes great. That isn't the problem. During the honeymoon, however, Bella.." He trailed off for a moment and I took the opportunity to look down, "She gets pregnant."

He paused again at the surprise around the room, both outloud, and probably in their thoughts.

"I didn't think so either." Edward murmured, looking to Carlisle, "But apparently, it is possible. She survives it, however. I manage to turn her in time." He paused again for a smile, "She does survive, but I'm not risking her life. Now that I know that's a possibility, it only proves my point."

"How did Jacob fit into all this?" Emmett frowned.

"This is where it gets difficult." Edward sighed, "The moment Sam discovers Bella is pregnant, he decides he wants to remove the threat. Before it's born." He paused again for more surprise, "I've only got as many answers as she has. From what she recalls, Jacob breaks off from the pack to form his own. In our defense. Rather, Bella's."

"Seth does too." I added, and he nodded, "Leah along with him." He waited, probably gathering his own thoughts.

"The baby is incredibly fast growing, and it's stronger than she is." He continued his explanation, "By Leandra's recollection, the entire process takes less than a month. But because of the wolves, we can't hunt. That poses a problem of its own." Through his explanation, I kept my eyes down, tracing the lines of the couch.

"So what is it?" Jasper asked, frowning.

"It's a baby." Edward nodded, "A girl. She's a lot like us, but half human. She has a heartbeat, though faster than a human's. It's.." He laughed a little, "It's odd to see her through Leandra's memory." I smiled a little, knowing he was already getting attached. How could he not? It was his daughter.

"And Jacob?" Emmett prompted.

"He imprints on her." Edward answered, and that prompted more shock, "Which is ultimately what stops Sam's pack from destroying us the night she's born."

"To Jake," I mumbled, knowing what they were probably thinking, "It's not weird. All he wants to do is keep her safe. Like you guys do for me, but a little stronger. Which is why Edward lets him live." I felt oddly protective of Jacob, especially after recalling what he did for us, "Or else I know Edward would kill him in a heartbeat."

"And Bella survives?" Esme asked, nervous. Edward and I both nodded.

"Not human, but she's turned." Edward explained, "I don't know how exactly that goes, because Leandra is sent to Tanya's for the first day or so, but Bella.. She has amazing self-control. She can resist the scent of human blood like she's practiced it for decades."

"Rip-off." Emmett muttered.

"Hey." I frowned, "That self-control is what let me come home, so shut it." I paused, "And I'm enough trouble when I'm turned to make up for it."

"It's becoming clearer about why that happens." Carlisle murmured, not at all happy.

"But it's not Aro that turns me." I replied, "It's you."

"There are still so many pieces missing." Edward sighed, looking to me, "How do you get from the agreement made with Aro, to where you're turned by Carlisle at seventeen, if Aro takes you?"

"Wait, what?" Emmett stood straighter from where he leaned against the wall in outrage. I ignored it.

"I don't remember." I admitted with a sigh as well, "I remember being turned, and I remember my first few hours as a newborn, then up until the agreement, but in between is just.." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"What agreement?" Emmett demanded, and I knew he wasn't the only one wanting to know this.

"How does Aro fit into all this?" Carlisle asked.

"Aro falls under the impression that the baby is an immortal child." He murmured, "Which definitely explains why Leandra knows all about that rule. Carlisle, you know the consequences of such an offense. That's what brings them here."

"But if the baby is born, why would he have any need to question?" Esme asked, frowning.

"Aro isn't one to stop and ask questions." Edward replied quietly, "He sees an opportunity, and he takes it." I sighed, agreeing with Edward.

Edward sighed also, continuing, "Long, difficult story short, we survive, but because Leandra is so traumatized by the vision she has of what could have gone wrong caused by a firm decision on Alice's part, she places herself between us, and them."

"What happens there?" Emmett wasn't liking this story.

"This is where we discover just how important her gift is." Edward answered, looking to me. I met his eyes briefly, looking down, "This is where it gets difficult to explain once again."

"Why?" Esme asked.

"I've never heard of anything like this." Edward answered, "None of us have. The way it was explained to her, by me interestingly enough, and the way she recalls it, is.." He trailed off for a sigh, "She is the other half to Aro's gift." He paused, probably waiting for the slight confusion to dissolve.

He continued, "What her gift develops into is something none of us has expected yet. We all know perfectly how long Aro has searched for a prophet of his own, and that's because he hasn't found the right one. He hasn't found the right one, because she wasn't born until ten, almost eleven years ago. The things she's seen so far, including the initial vision that's led her to us.. They're only a small indication of how powerful her gift really is, but it's not going to work to its full potential without Aro."

"How is that possible?" Carlisle asked, "I've never heard of a gift depending on another."

"They can work independently. Obviously." Edward nodded a little, "But by taking her hand, her gift becomes his. By taking her hand, he can use her gift any way he sees fit, which means looking ahead for any answer he wants. Anything he wants to see, he sees through her. In real time.

"The only limitation she has on her own, is she can only look ahead for herself. On her own, she can't see anything that doesn't involve her specifically. Sort of like a defensive gift, but with Aro, there is no limitation. None."

"Lovely." Emmett sighed.

"There is a whole lot more to it than that." Edward continued, "Not only can she see what he wants to know, but her gift gives her the ability to know every single detail about what he wants to know. Instead of it being a flat look ahead at what happens, she'll understand everything about what makes that decision or discovery a reality. The thoughts, and intentions, of all those involved. Because she'll know that, he'll know that."

I looked down, not liking the amazement in their gazes as they all glanced to me.

"Now, back to her original vision," Edward murmured, continuing, "Aro discovers this. He finds out just what her gift means to him. You know full well how determined he is, and you know full well how stubborn she is. He promises peace to our family, if she agrees to become his.. Essentially his property five years from the date."

"He lets me stay, because seeing still hurt." I spoke up, receiving every gaze in the room, "I wasn't ready for that kind of stress yet. He wanted me to get older, and to let my gift develop a little more before he took me, and he knew I'd be at risk there with him."

"Does she agree?" Emmett asked tensely.

"I can see the pain there, Leandra." Edward murmured, ignoring Emmett's question, "You shouldn't be hurting yourself to push this through."

"I can see it, too." Carlisle told me, "Stop trying, Leandra."

"But it's just right there." I mumbled, "There's so much more I still have to see."

"Do you remember what happened before?" Alice asked, and I looked down.

"Does she agree?" Emmett asked again, and finally, Edward looked his way.

"Yes." He answered, "She agrees, thinking she'll be keeping us safe, but none of that is going to happen. I know what I have to do."

"Make sure you do it." Emmett told him firmly, "Because if you don't-"

"That's hardly fair." Esme murmured, "He's already seen what his daughter is going to be like."

"I have no choice." Edward told her, "I'm not risking Bella's life, and the life of my entire family, on top of countless others, so she can be born." She looked down. I saw how she understood, but didn't like it.

"Eighteen others." I mumbled quietly, "You get the help of eighteen other vampires."

"Who?" Esme asked, and I frowned a little.

"I don't know. I didn't get to meet them." I replied, "Jasper and Alice took me with them when they left."

"Fucking traitors." Emmett barked immediately to Jasper standing beside him. To my surprise, with real anger behind those words.

I sat up straighter, "No-"

"I haven't done anything yet." Jasper replied, outraged.

"Emmett-"

"Doesn't mean you're not going to split the second it gets hot." Emmett countered, "What else are you planning?" I shocked me how easily Emmett could turn on him.

"Shut up for a second." I barked at him, and they both looked to me again, "They don't leave-leave. They leave, taking me with them because the place is going to be packed with vampires. Still blame him?"

Emmett stayed quiet, glancing to Jasper again.

"And they're what saves your ass." I hadn't meant to make my voice that strong, "So you be fucking patient."

"How do they save us if they leave?"

"Hold on." I muttered, recalling that specific part again. It was all mixed up in my head. I frowned, closing my eyes briefly, "When Aro decides to come to take care of the problem, Edward comes up with the idea. Nobody wants to try to fight, but with so many people coming, they wouldn't listen. The only thing you wanted was to make Aro listen just long enough to see that he was wrong. That Ness isn't an immortal, but that she was born instead of bitten.

"Nobody figured they'd listen to anyone if you were just you, so you all go out to find other vampires to just stand there as a witness to Ness."

"That's brilliant." Carlisle murmured.

"It only really works," I went on, "Because Jasper and Alice.. Took me with them to Brazil. They found another, a hybrid there like Ness and brought him back with us as a witness. They see him, learn about what he is and how hidden he could be from the humans, and they leave us alone." My voice quieted, "Sort of."

"If it's that easy, why do you bother making the agreement with Aro?" Emmett asked, confused.

"Because that's the only way." I mumbled, "To keep what happens from happening."

"Alice needed that vision, Leandra." Edward reminded me.

"So wait," Alice spoke up, "It was a vision she had within the vision she was having that made her agree to leave with Aro?"

"Yes." Edward answered.

"What happens?" She asked, and I immediately looked down, fighting sudden tears before Jasper could take them. I remembered vividly now how real it had been to me. How unbearably painful it had been. The crushing way my head spun, the debilitating fear and emotion stealing every rational thought of that entire moment.

I'd been older when I first saw that. I'd been older, more prepared to see it. Now I wasn't. There was no way to prepare for what I felt now, what I remembered now. It hurt. So much now to be so scared, and remembering how scared I had been. I cried for everything that happened then. I cried for everything I so suddenly remembered happening, despite the way I knew it wouldn't turn out that way.

I was seconds away from throwing up again, my stomach in panicked knots that only continued to turn until Jasper stole that too.

Before it faded, I realized that I'd never felt fear like this before. This was worse than with Jack. At any time. This was not knowing. This was potentially losing everyone I ever really loved and cared about. This was having them pulled away from me. Maybe waiting my turn.

This was why I feared Aro more than Jack. Of course, not the only reason, but the only reason I could currently remember. I feared Aro for what I knew he would do under certain circumstances. What he wanted to do. Who he would take from me.

"Don't ask about that." Edward suggested, but I stood up. I'd had about all I could take, and I needed a minute.

"Leandra?" Alice asked.

"Let her go." Edward sighed as I headed straight for my room. The emotions I felt before Jasper could make it back here suddenly made sense.

Seeing what I'd seen really made me see now that I hadn't been completely wrong. I was afraid to let myself depend on Carlisle, but not for any reasons he'd given me. Because I was so afraid of losing him, thanks to the vision within the vision I'd had. I knew what it felt like to lose him. It was already there, and he'd done nothing wrong.

I just needed a minute. If it was a lot for Edward to handle, nobody could imagine what that did to me.

**A/N: If this chapter is choppy, I apologize. I did what I could to edit it for you guys.**

**Chapter Thirteen will be my last for a long while, if ever. I hope to at least make it a good one. Bear with me, please.**

**Until Thirteen, my friends. :(**


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

I had no idea how long I stayed in my room, doing everything I could to recover from what I'd seen. It felt like a long closed wound had reopened. Something I'd seen, but forgotten I'd seen a long time ago was causing me pain now. Eating me up inside. What more was hidden in there? If that much could be stuck in my subconscious for so long, influencing things I did now, what more could be in there?

I sat there, staring at nothing. Zoning out, ignoring the tired, emotional ache in my head. I felt too warm, like I had a fever. I could feel it, the warmth of my skin and I felt sick. I knew that was left over, caused by whatever the hell had just gone on out there, but it was telling me something. I felt different, like I'd just gone through a change of my own. I had changed.

That vision within a vision stole everything from me in a split second. I remembered, I still felt the devastation all around me. The intense ache brought me back, landing me there.

I knew there was not a chance in hell that Edward would have left yet, and that he was still here. He was staying until we could address this again, so I directed my thoughts his way. Allowing him in again, to see what I saw now. The way I saw things. My perspective, if only to help me figure it out.

Edward, I thought. Help me. Please help me.

Inside, I was crying. Screaming, sobbing, in complete and unbearable agony. I felt it all again. The emotions I felt in the vision inside the vision. The things I saw, the way I felt, the hole torn through my stomach. The earth just gone from beneath my feet, and I had nobody there to help me find it again. How losing just one person could effect someone like me so much.

I felt it again, the overwhelming grief, and hopelessness. The desperation of not knowing where to go anymore. Not knowing where to turn. Watching everything falling apart around me, and feeling like I was crumbling along with it. I knew what that was like now, and nothing could take that away.

On the outside, I was calm. Still, like I didn't want to move too fast. Like I couldn't move too fast. This was a little like when Ms. Parker tried to take me, and everything had slowed down, but this had nothing to do with that. This had more to do with the realization I was in the middle of. The sudden understanding I couldn't fight anymore.

I wasn't sure how all this happened so fast. Maybe it had something to do with the stress of dealing with what Jane had put me through, but one minute everything was fine, and the next.. Complete chaos. Maybe the stress Jane had put on me had pushed something out of the way, allowing me to remember all that I remembered now. On one hand, if that was true, I felt like I should thank her. On the other, I hated her vehemently for completely ruining everything.

"I've been given permission to come bother you." I looked up at Mikah's voice suddenly in the doorway.

"You're not bothering me." I replied, shaking my head. Despite the way I really wasn't wanting visitors, I would allow him to be here.

"Uh-oh." He murmured, crossing his arms lightly across his chest, "I know that look."

I decided to ignore that, "Sorry I yelled at you."

"You were going through a thing." He shook it off, "Don't worry about it." I hoped he wouldn't address what that thing was. It wasn't like him to do so.

"I feel like shit." I admitted, looking down at my blanket. That was a massive understatement, but that would have to do.

"That would probably be the emotions Jasper won't let you feel." He murmured, stepping into the room, "That's why I'm here."

Wouldn't let me feel? I was sure feeling something. Maybe it had nothing to do with him or his gift, but maybe it was all mental. Like an imprint of an emotion through a vivid memory.

"I don't think anything can help me now." I muttered, my voice hardly above a whisper. The ache would always be there. I knew it.

"You underestimate my abilities, princess." He smiled, "I might not be gifted like you, but I have the gift of personality, and I've come to cure you of your down-in-the-dumps-ness. I bet you a nickel I can make you smile before I leave here." I wasn't smiling. What about this situation was smile-worthy?

"You would lose that bet." I whispered, not having the energy to make my voice any louder. I needed a break. Shaking my head, I glanced up, "And how do you know I can be cured?"

"Because you're talking to me," He replied, "And not yelling at me to get out or throwing stuff at me. That's a pretty good indication."

"Then you don't know me very well." He really didn't if he couldn't see the anguish I was in right that moment.

"I know you plenty well." He argued, "For example, you smile when you're down, and you yell when you're scared. You.." He trailed off, looking for another example as he stood up, "Get scared easily, but wish you didn't."

"Anybody knows that."

"I know," He went on, "That you'd do anything for your family. Your bravery borders insanity. You feel so much, but wish you didn't." I looked down at that one, "Ah-ha, I found one."

"Everybody knows that." I denied again.

"Hmm.." He hummed in thought, "I know.. That you don't like yourself very much." That one hit home. When I didn't reply, he spoke again, "Some people say that you can't actually care about anyone else if you don't care about yourself, but you're living, breathing proof that that's not right. I know that you'd happily toss yourself under a bus if it meant keeping anyone else from having to experience even half of the pain you've experienced."

"Okay," I muttered, "I get it."

"Do I win?" He asked.

"You win." I grumbled with a sigh. He smiled a little, kneeling beside my bed.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked.

"Sure." I replied, keeping my eyes down. Why the hell not? It wasn't like he was already in here poking at wounds of mine that I couldn't even see.

"I don't see it." He murmured, and I finally glanced up again, "I don't see it, what you see. Are you sure we're really looking at the same person?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, "Maybe you just don't see me right."

"I see just fine." He assured me, "You see yourself as someone worthless. I see someone priceless. I see someone beautiful, bright. A really great kid, with so much going for her, but.." He sighed, resting his arms on the side of the bed, "I also see someone on the very edge of giving up. Ready to just throw in the towel."

I closed my eyes briefly, looking back down. It was really hard to accept how much he really did see. He just didn't realize how right he really was.

He was wrong, though. I wasn't on the very edge. I'd left that edge behind. Jumping feet first straight over that edge, and I was currently in the middle of what it felt like to fall.

And that towel I was supposedly throwing in? It didn't exist to me anymore. I'd throw a million towels in if it meant he'd stop.

"I'm not up to this right now." I muttered, "Just stop, okay? Can you just stop?"

"Leandra, I mean it." He sighed, "I won't let you give up. Life's not fair. I'm the first to admit that, but you're going to make it through this. It gets better. It does. You might not believe me, but I promise that it does get better. Whatever you saw today? It's just a memory. That's all it is. You're tougher than some thought, right?"

"No." I mumbled. I wasn't. I might have been stronger than most kids my age, but I was not stronger than this.

"Ah," He argued, "See, that's where you're wrong. No matter what it was, you are tougher than that. You are. Now, I'm not leaving here until I hear you say it. I want you to tell me that you are tough. You are strong. Forget those lies you've told yourself so often. Change them into something better."

"You don't even know what it was." I countered, "And don't say it doesn't matter, because it does. Remembering it changes everything. It changes everything about everything, Mikah. You don't even know."

"It doesn't have to change anything."

"But it does." I insisted, "Remember what I told my dad? You haven't seen the things I've seen. You don't remember the things I remember. You can't just come in here and fix everything this time, Mikah. I wish you could. God, I really wish you could, but you can't. It's not that easy anymore." I took a breath, "I don't even know why I keep trying. It doesn't change anything, and I think you're either blind or lying to yourself if you think it can."

He sighed, about to argue again, "Princess-"

"I'm serious this time." I said, and he shut up, "It's not doing any good. It'll never do any good. You can't fix it this time." He searched my expression, concern in his eyes.

"But I can try, can't I?" He asked, his tone quiet.

"I don't want you to try." I replied, sighing again, "That would just make it worse. Nothing you do can make this okay. Nothing anyone does can make this okay. I already know what I have to do, but it's.. It's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard."

"Princess." He was nervous now, given his tone, "I don't like the sound of that."

"It's already done." I replied, and it was true. I'd already started. I'd folded. Given up, just like he saw. He was starting to get it. It was too late. It had been too late the second I remembered everything.

"What's done?"

"Me." I mumbled, and the silence that followed seemed to drag on forever. Like just admitting that had finalized it. Solidifying my will to give up. I'd been close to giving up before, so many times to know this feeling well, but never this close. This decided.

"Close the door when you leave." I mumbled, and his expression fell a little. With that, I rolled over on the bed, my back to him.

"That's not happening." He murmured, and I rolled my eyes at the wall, "It doesn't work like that. You can't just tell me the discussion is over because you say it is." My silence was his response, "Ignore me all you want to. It'll just make it easier to talk to you, but I know you're listening.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said, "I'm here, and that's how it is. This isn't over. This isn't the end of the road for you. You're not done. I don't know what you saw, and frankly, I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter what you saw. That was then, do you hear me? This is now. This is life. This is where you are. Not there. Now, you can accept that, or don't. That's up to you, but no matter what you tell me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving, and neither is anyone else, so you just get used to that."

"I don't accept that." I told him, staying in my position.

"I don't accept that you don't accept that." He replied firmly, "Nobody's going anywhere."

"Do you think this is easy for me?" I snapped, suddenly sitting up. His firm tone started to make me mad, "Do you think this is something I can just let go of? Do you think I even want to? Do you think you can just come in here, and tell me what I should feel? You don't know everything, Mikah!"

"I know more than you." He countered, "And right now, I see someone drowning in self-pity because of a dream you had a year and a half ago."

"It wasn't just some-"

"It was." He corrected, "Just a dream, and you're beating yourself down because of it. Severely. It's stupid. Look around you, princess. Please, just open your eyes."

"They are open." I said, "And for once, I think I'm finally seeing straight. If a dream hurt that bad to remember, what do you think it'll do to me when that actually happens? If I just give up now, I can keep that from killing me later."

"It's killing you now." He pointed out firmly, "Remember what Edward said? If there's anything we've learned about you, it's that.. Well, whatever you saw was enough to push you to make a rash decision, and it's happening again."

"I don't care about that."

"But that doesn't actually happen-"

"Just leave me alone." He wasn't getting it, "And remember what I said about the door." I rolled over again. Curling into a ball on my side. Unfortunately for me, my tough front couldn't last, and I started to cry. Cursing Jasper as I did so. No amount of holding my breath could keep me as silent as I wanted to be.

"Aw, princess." Mikah sighed, his tone a lot softer, "Come on. I know you're hurting, but don't give up. What are you going to do? Just lay here for the rest of your life?"

"I don't know yet." I mumbled, "I'm still thinking about that part." Which was true. It essentially killed me to see that. Something in me had died, and I felt the empty space it had left behind. Hope, perhaps? It had been a vision, something that could have happened, but I wasn't willing to see that possibility become a reality. I refused to let it.

"Come on." He repeated, "It couldn't have been that bad, could it?"

My anger spiked again.

It couldn't have been that bad? Was he kidding? He had to be joking. There was no possible way he could have just said that. _That bad_. Like it meant nothing. My entire view of this whole situation had just been broken. I'd lost everything. I'd lost everything then, and I'd lost everything again now.. My trust, gone. My hope, crushed, and he had the nerve to tell me it wasn't that bad? Like how I felt, the way I reacted, what I remembered didn't mean anything at all.

"Get out." I immediately replied.

"What?" He seemed surprised.

"Get out." I repeated, "Out. I don't want to talk to you right now. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I want to be alone, so please, just get the fuck out of my room!"

Seeing I was getting more and more upset with each passing second, he spoke again.

"Okay." He murmured, "Okay, I'll go, but I'm not letting this end here. I'll give you your space. Think about what I said, princess." I felt the weight of his arms leave the side of my bed, and he sighed as he stood up.

"Uh-uh." I jumped a little at Alice's voice in the doorway and my eyes closed in dread, "Mikah, you're not going anywhere. Leandra, sit up."

"Go away." I mumbled into my pillow. I really didn't want some pep talk. I didn't need one. It wouldn't have done a bit of good.

"We're not playing that game." She replied firmly, "You think just because you remembered a little bit, that gives you grounds to give up? I think not. Sit. Up."

I tried again, "You don't even know-"

"I don't need to." She argued, "And I do mean that. Do you have any idea how many upsetting things I've seen? If I couldn't give up, neither can you. Sit up!"

She'd never used that tone with me before. The surprise at the new tone had me do as she told me, looking over at her.

"Just because you've seen something not so great," She went on, "Doesn't mean you just lay down and die. Are you kidding me? That's not what your gift is for. It's for preventing things like that from happening. It was no doubt unpleasant, and yes, you're young, but you wouldn't have seen that if you weren't meant to. That's enough of that. Take your time alone. You're entitled to that, but don't you quit."

"You don't know!"

"I don't need to!" She countered, "Pick yourself up. Mikah's exactly right, and you're pushing him away? Well, you're not going to push me away. You can't push me."

I sighed, rolling my eyes at her, "Go away. I'm done."

"Like hell you are." She spat, "You do _not_ turn your back on a great thing just because it can possibly eventually turn bad. Have you even stopped to realize that you've given Edward enough to know how to keep that from happening? Do you even care?"

"No." I answered reflexively. She narrowed her eyes. She knew that was a lie. Without a doubt. I just laid back down. Of course I cared. I cared too much, and that what was killing me now.

"Leandra-"

"I'm fucking tired!" I yelled at the wall.

"So take a fucking nap!" I'd only heard Alice cuss a few times before, but never that word. She could put more heat behind that curse word than I'd ever heard behind it before. She spoke again, "Take a nap, reset yourself. I guarantee you that all of this will be a whole lot different when you wake up. You'll wake up, and you'll see how completely foolish you're being."

"No I won't." I replied, "Because going to sleep won't make me forget any of what I saw. You'd feel the same way I do right now if you knew. Do _you_ even care?"

"Of course I care." She countered, "I don't know exactly what you're getting at with talk like that, but I do know that you don't turn your back on us like that. You don't bail like that. No matter what you saw."

My voice quieted, "I care more than I should, and I think it's too much."

"I see where this is going." Mikah muttered, probably to Alice.

"Don't you dare." She told me, but I stayed quiet. It was too late for that. It was too late for anything. Now that I saw what was to come, nothing anybody said would help me. I was done.

She paused, hesitating for a moment before she spoke again, "Come on, Mikah. Give her a moment. She needs one for a _drastic_ attitude adjustment."

Moments later, I listened to my bedroom door close. Taking a breath, I roughly grabbed a pillow and cuddled it to me with all my strength. Burying my nose and mouth in it, I glared at the wall through tears.

It wasn't fair. This wasn't something I ever wanted to feel. This wasn't something that could be fixed. I'd never, ever been as broken as I was in that moment.

Giving me a moment alone was probably the opposite of helpful. It gave me a chance to dwell. To think about my options, and what I could do to keep that from happening.

Or to keep myself from having to go through that.

The things Alice told me stuck, but all the wrong things. I wasn't allowed to bail like that. Or turn my back. I didn't want to turn my back on anybody, but I had the option to should I choose it. I could avoid all that by pulling back now.

The knock at my door about an hour of not moving later had me closing my eyes.

"Leandra?" It was Carlisle, but I was done. I heard him walk in, and made no move to acknowledge his presence. Against my will, I was letting go. Giving up, turning away. That amount of pain was something intolerable. Something I wasn't willing to accept or go through later.

"Leandra," He sighed quietly, "I know you're hurting, but this will pass."

Nothing. Not a word. This vision, whatever it had been, had broken something in me. Shattered, and that something that died was a lot heavier than I thought before. He thought he knew I was hurting? He had no idea.

I'd finally found my limit. My pain tolerance, my emotional snap. My emotional and mental snap, severing whatever ties I might have been able to build with Carlisle, or the rest of the family. Completely severing them.

I was too attached before, and I was fixing that now. Unwillingly, I had to fix it.

It was nearly physical. That severing of ties. From Carlisle, from everyone. It hurt. Undoubtedly, it caused me pain, but it was undeniable. I couldn't lift it. I couldn't hold on.

Suddenly, I wasn't so concerned about how I'd ever be able to survive without them. Far more concerned about possible escape plans. How would I ever get them to let me go? I hated thinking like that, but it was how it was supposed to be.

Something was telling me that this, what I was considering, was the right way to go. It was turning me toward it, a way I'd never faced before. An option I never considered.

"Leandra, please talk to me."

I couldn't. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't even look at him. Not with knowing now what it felt like to lose him. To permanently lose him. I didn't have it in me, but I also knew he wouldn't leave it like this. I needed to talk to him for him to see.

The only thing I could think of was what Carlisle had told me awhile back. That if I ever changed my mind about my living arrangement, I could request a change. I couldn't help being heavily tempted now. That was a way out. A way to distance myself before it got painful. Too painful for me to bear. If I could just distance myself now, maybe I could avoid falling to pieces again when it actually happened.

I couldn't keep doing this. This, right now, had to be it. My final try. My last goodbye. Today had to be it. I was tired. Hurting so badly, and broken. Beaten down by the weight of my emotions, and I couldn't take one more step. Not one.

My days of one step forward to three steps back were over. I could feel that. Replaced by a stillness. A reluctance to even try anymore. That snap, that break, froze me. Made it impossible to move.

I gave a sob, the sound tearing from that reopened wound like glass, as I realized. This was so different from anything I had ever felt before. This weight had finally won. It had finally smashed me, laying me under it, and I didn't even want to lift it.

I listened to him sigh, and felt him sit on the side of the bed. He was going to try to talk to me. I couldn't let that happen.

"I know." He spoke, "This can't be easy on you-"

"You have to let me go." I found myself murmuring. I hated how just those words stung, hurting me on their way out. There was a time when I would have given anything to keep myself from saying that. There was a time when I wanted the opposite of that. When I'd made him, all of them promise to not let me go.

"I'm sorry?" He didn't understand.

"You have to let me go." I repeated, slowly turning over to face him, "All of you. You have to let me go." This was what Alice was trying so hard to prevent, but there was no preventing something that had already happened.

"Go?" He asked, "Go where?"

"Aw, shorty.." I looked over at the still open door. Emmett obviously understood, "Don't be like that.."

The doorway was crowded, much like it had been too often in the past. The entire family, including Edward this time, stood there. Like they knew. They knew what was going on in me, and in this room. They knew, but they didn't want to face it. It was my job to make them face it the way I did.

"It's already like that." I replied, "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I need to do it."

"Leandra," Alice murmured from beside him, the sound of my name a deep warning, "Think about what you're doing. I beg you. Think about what you're doing. You can't even begin to imagine how wrong you are."

"I have thought about it." I mumbled. More than I wanted to, I had thought about it. There was no turning back.

"What are you saying?" Carlisle asked me quietly. This was where it really got hard. Having to explain. Despite how hard this would be, though, it had to happen.

"You said before.." I started, "That if I ever changed my mind about where I wanted to live, you'd understand.." Given his expression, he understood now. I looked down, "You have to let me go.."

Emmett turned, leaving the doorway. As if he couldn't stand to stay and hear any more. Other than a short glance to confirm, I kept my gaze down.

"You want to leave?" Jasper asked. It sounded to me like he was trying so hard to keep his shock and anger in check. Obviously, he hadn't expected this. None of them had, really.

"I can't stay anymore." I answered, "I don't want to leave, but I can't stay.." I took a breath, "Just don't make me live with my dad. I want to live with Heather."

"Why are you doing this?" Jasper asked, "I know what you saw-"

"You don't know the half of it, Jasper." I cut that off, "I told Alice, and I told Mikah that I'm done. I mean that. I'm done. I am. I've had more than I can handle, and I can't face it anymore." The way he studied me, he seemed to understand, to see me better than I could see myself, but that didn't help the way he felt.

"So you'll just.." He mumbled, "Turn your back on everything you've built here? Everything you've been through, everything we've brought you through? You'll just let it all go?"

"I have to." My voice hardly made a sound, "I have to, Jasper. And you have to let me."

"I'll compromise." Carlisle spoke up, "If you don't wish to stay here, I won't force you to stay, but nothing will be permanent. I'll allow you to leave, but on a trial basis. You'll stay with Heather for an extended period, and if at the end of this trial you've changed your mind, you'll come home."

"If I don't change my mind?" I asked.

"Then it's final." He replied, "We'll let you go."

Jasper was next to turn away from the door. That bothered me to see. There was absolutely nothing I hated more than letting them down. Especially after how much we'd all gone through together, as Jasper pointed out. Reminding me forcefully how much they really did mean to me. This really was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, and that included anything involving Jack. Hurting them was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Hurting them this way hurt me indescribably.

I was crumbling. Quickly.

"Jasper.." I gasped through tears. He had to know my pain. I couldn't explain it, but he had to feel it, how much this was hurting me. He also witnessed, though, what kind of pain had driven me to this decision. He'd been there. He'd numbed it. He had to understand. He had to understand..

But he never stopped. He didn't turn back around. Clearly, he didn't understand. None of them understood what had driven me to this.

"Are you sure, Leandra?" Carlisle asked me, "Are you positive this is what you want?"

"I don't want this." I cried hard now, tears falling too fast to stop, "I'd give anything to stay. This is killing me, but I can't face what staying here would mean. I can't."

I also didn't have it in me to refuse a hug from him. His obvious concern at my blatant agony only made this harder on me. I was hurting so badly, I didn't think this pain would ever stop. He hugged me, probably trying to calm me down.

I hugged him back, holding tight to his shirt almost desperately, and my sobs really let go. I felt sick, choking on emotion again. Whatever help Jasper had been giving me was gone now. It had turned away right along with him. It was just me. My breaking heart causing tears to flow in rivers down both cheeks. I ached. I hurt in the most violent way, and I know it showed as I held onto him tightly.

I clenched my fists in his shirt, my stomach clenching just as tight. This amount of emotion was something I honestly didn't want anyone to see. I felt like I was dying. Torn apart, bleeding out.

I wanted to beg Carlisle, plead with all I was for him to not let me go, but the words wouldn't come. They came out completely wrong.

"I have to.." I sobbed against his shoulder, choking on my tears, "I have to.. As much as this is killing me, I can't take it. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.."

"Please," He murmured, "Please reconsider." His hand smoothing over my back tried its best to ease just a bit of my agonizing pain, but all it did was make me hurt worse. I was shaking, trembling with all the emotion I felt. The crushing weight felt like it should have been enough to stop my heart from taking its next beat. That told me that this was exactly what needed to happen, because this was the way I felt in the vision. Like this much debilitating, crushing pain was impossible to survive, yet I was still alive.

He didn't understand. How I almost didn't understand. How could anything that hurt so bad be the right thing to do?

"It doesn't have to be this way." Alice told me.

"Yes it does." I held tighter to Carlisle, almost refusing to let myself let go, "It does."

"Look at yourself!" She was getting desperate, "You can't even let him go."

What could I possibly say to make them let me go?

"I want a chance at a normal life." I reasoned quietly, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You'll never have a normal life." Alice argued.

"Not if you never let me try." I mumbled, "Nothing will change if nothing changes. You have to let me go. Please let me go."

Her silence told me that she knew exactly what I was doing. I was pushing away. Not physically, of course, but I was pushing them away. Removing myself before I became too attached.

I was afraid, and that intolerable fear was making me choose to leave them before they could be taken from me.

"Fine." She eventually mumbled and that single word tore me up worse, and I barely kept that pain from spilling over, "You want a normal life? Good luck with that. You want us to let you go that badly? Fine, but don't you dare think you'll ever go a second unwatched."

"You can keep watch on me all you want to," I murmured, "But please.. Never let me see you." This had to be so hard for them to understand. I couldn't blame them for their confusion.

That did it, though. She turned away from the doorway next. Leaving me to sit with Carlisle, trying to force myself away from from him. I knew once that happened, I couldn't do this again. As much as I wanted to fall apart right here, I couldn't. That would mean vulnerability, and I had to be strong. Just a little longer, to force myself through the pain of tearing away from the only place I ever really considered safe. The only place I considered home.

Looking over, I caught sight of the two members I couldn't bear to see at that point. Esme, who'd done more for me as a mother in a single year than my own mother ever had. Her pain as obvious in her eyes as mine was in my own.

And Edward, who could clearly see my reasoning. He knew the exact reason I was doing this. He knew what kind of endless circle my thoughts were stuck in, with no way out. The sadness, the pity I saw in his eyes was enough to let me know that.

"Why?" Esme spoke up, and my eyes closed again. She was just as hurt as I was. Not just now, but in the vision. Probably more. She'd been just as shattered as I had been. That sharp reminder of the pain in her eyes at what she'd witnessed was enough to finally allow me to let go of Carlisle. Tearing myself away from him, scooting back.

I had to keep my will, and to do that, I couldn't let myself answer her.

"I'll go call Heather." Carlisle offered quietly.

That seemed like forever away. However long it'd take him to set this up, it would be plenty of time for the others to try to change my mind. I needed this to happen now, or I wasn't getting away.

I watched Carlisle leave the room, a lot tenser than I'd ever seen him before.

"I think she needs time alone." Edward murmured, and I looked over. He had to have seen my thoughts. I frowned a little, not understanding at first, but his nod helped me understand. He was giving me an out. His nod, not of confirmation, but toward the window made me see what he was saying.

He was telling me to go. Giving me the out I really needed, probably in hopes that distance would make me see reason.

I directed my grateful thoughts his direction as he and Esme both turned, closing the door behind them. I was left here, sitting alone. I needed to think, but I couldn't do that here. I couldn't think, knowing how badly I'd hurt them by trying to protect myself.

Hesitantly, I stood up, and crossed the room to the window. Opening it after only a few seconds of debate, I wasted no time in climbing out. I didn't want to give the sound of the window opening time to settle before I made noise climbing outside. Hoping to blend one sound with the other.

The pouring rain outside probably helped with that goal. My bare feet hit the gravel, and I was off running. Instantly.

I wasn't sure if they heard me run off, and just decided to let me go because they knew where I was going, or if they never heard me leave, but I wasn't stopping to ask. The pain fueled my feet, sending me farther from where I wanted to be. As fast as I could.

I stopped at the highway, as I couldn't breathe. I stopped there, having a heavy choice to make as I carefully caught my breath, looking up and down the deserted highway.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and clenched my fists tight, shaking my head as I continued on. Running in the direction of town, and away from my family. That was my decision.

I sobbed as I ran, my bare feet against the pavement telling me my life was going to change. Just as much as it had in California when I'd first felt this. I was running, but not from anything hazardous to my health, but from somewhere I desperately wanted to be. I knew I wanted to be there more than anything, so any hesitation had to be handled carefully, or I'd turn right back around.

I was running for my own good.

Tears blurring my vision as much as the rain was, my sobs coming loudly from the hole in my heart, I raced further away. Further toward whatever future I might have after this break from my family. The one place of comfort I'd always had. I didn't know how this would play out, to be honest. I was scared. I didn't know how I'd handle being alone, with only a set of humans to watch over me until I was big enough to really handle being on my own.

I wasn't even sure I wanted to survive that long.

I ran through town when I reached it, only stopping to catch my breath once. Thirty short seconds was enough to nearly send me back the way I'd come. With a short glance back toward the way I'd come, trying to see through the tears and rain, I knew I couldn't keep looking back. I pushed on. I kept going.

This was my decision to make, and I couldn't go back on it now.

I made it to Heather's house just as she was pulling open the door. She was on the phone, and deeply worried, until she saw me. Soaked to the skin, I stepped up onto the porch. Watching her sigh, I couldn't keep my sobs back as hard as I tried to stay strong.

"She's here." Heather spoke into the phone as she reached out to me. Gesturing me to come to her, to get out of the rain. I stepped closer, appreciating the warmth of her hug. She worried about me, which told me I'd made the right decision in coming to her.

"I'll talk to her, Carlisle." Heather spoke again. Listening to his reply, she fell quiet as she turned us around, leading me into the house. I hardly noticed how hard I shivered again, and I couldn't help comparing these shivers to the ones I was stuck in the middle of just the day before.

I looked up at her as she hung up the phone, and looked at me.

"Oh, sweetheart.." She sighed, smoothing my wet hair from my cheeks, "What is it?" I didn't answer her. Too busy trying to catch my breath around my cries. She could see how badly I was hurting. She could see me. My crumbling will to survive. My dissolving determination to try. I was all but in pieces at her feet, and I knew she could see it.

I was cold, wet and scared, but thankfully, she had a remedy for two of those things. Leading me slowly up the stairs, her arm around me, offering me her own warmth in an effort to ease my trembling.

She had extra clothes for me sitting on the drier. They were the boys', but I didn't care. They were dry and warm. My hair was still wet, but that didn't matter so much to me anymore. Not much did.

I wasn't much calmer by the time she sat me down in the living room to get warm. A blanket around me, she rubbed my shoulders briefly before picking up the phone again.

This time, it was Mike she was calling. I couldn't help listening in as she spoke in just the next room.

"Are you still coming home for lunch?" She asked, obviously listening to his reply. Pausing for a moment, before speaking again, "Well, there's a little surprise sitting here for you." She gave a short laugh, "Remember how this morning, you woke up having two kids?" Another pause, "Now we have three. At least for a little while."

She paused once more, before she laughed again, "No, no. It's nothing like that. I'll explain when you get here." After a brief goodbye, she hung up the phone, and looked to me with a sigh in the silent living room.

"What's going on, sweetie?" She asked.

"I can't stay there." I sniffled, "I want to stay here."

"As happy as I am that you find our house to be a suitable place to stay, why the sudden change?" She asked, "I know how much your family means to you."

I fell quiet again, crumbling once more. Sobbing too hard to breathe, falling once more into the void of whatever sort of emotional and mental breakdown I was in when I came here.

She didn't keep pressing for an answer.

"Okay, honey." She murmured, sitting with me, "Just try to calm down, okay? Do you need something for your nerves?" I knew she meant some sort of medication, and I knew I could trust her. I nodded, begging wordlessly to be numb. For the pain to stop, or even to ease at least a little.

She stood up, turning to leave the room. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes that I was alone. She came back into the room with a small glass of water and half of a small pill in her hand.

I took the pill fragment without hesitation. I knew she was only trying to help me, and right then, I desperately needed help.

She gently smoothed my hair from my face the entire few minutes it took for whatever I'd taken to kick in. I could feel it, the way my heart slowed down. My emotions eased, but I yawned. It was an emotional yawn, shaking in left over pain. I felt the way I usually felt when I was on the verge of crying myself to sleep, so I didn't think it had anything to do with whatever she'd given me.

She allowed me to lay down on the couch, the blanket secure around me. My head rested on her leg, like the warmest pillow I'd ever had as she continued to smooth my hair.

I was tired enough for my eyes to close. Blocking out the dim, cloudy daylight coming in from the window I faced. She kept telling me that it was okay. That it'd all work out fine, no matter what it was. I ached to believe her, but it really didn't seem possible.

I woke up enough to open my eyes at a muted whisper from the living room doorway. It was Mike, having a nearly silent conversation with Heather, but that conversation had ended when she felt me stir.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She murmured, smoothing my hair again, "I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, okay? You need to rest."

I shook my head, forcing myself to sit upright. Glancing over as Mike sighed heavily, and stepped slowly into the room. Carefully taking the open chair to the left of the couch.

I was worried about what he'd say. Would he tell me they couldn't do it? That they couldn't handle three kids now, instead of just two? I'd offer to live in the yard, in a tent, or even just the tree if he didn't make me go back.

"Bad day?" He asked me, his first words. I eyed him, trying to keep just a bit of dignity, but I was failing. My expression, meaning to be one of indifference had to show my desperation. Begging him with my eyes. He obviously read that, sighing quietly again with a glance to Heather before he spoke to me again.

"Sweetheart, you know you're welcome here any time." He murmured, "If you need a place to stay, you have one here."

I closed my eyes, squeezing slow tears out as I looked down. I wasn't sure yet if he was meaning that I could stay here, or if he was just letting me down gently.

"For however long you need to." Heather added, and I glanced over at her. She hesitated, probably waiting for my reply. When it never came, she prompted again, "Carlisle says this is your choice?"

I had yet to speak. I fully realized that, but I couldn't. I wanted them to know that it was nothing my family had done to make me run. I was just avoiding any sort of attachment I could make to them, and needed a place to land as I fell away from them.

I kept my gaze down as she gently tucked a fallen strand of my hair behind my ear for me in a very comforting way.

"Okay." She told me, "You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to." I nodded a little, appreciating that. She nodded as well, "Carlisle and Esme are coming by around two, to talk and bring some of your things. Would you like to take a nap before then?"

I nodded again. That sounded amazing right then. A quiet place to sit and attempt to recover before the next step of this hellish day.

"You'll be sharing a room with the boys for now, sweetie." Heather told me, "Until I get a chance to clean out Mike's office." I nodded once more, keeping my tired eyes down. They continuously shed tears at this point, but they were silent. Her concern was obvious as she stood up, helping me to my feet.

She walked with me to the stairs, taking one step at a time with me. Patiently walking along beside me, straight into the boys' room.

"We'll figure out a more suitable sleeping arrangement when the boys get back." She assured me, "But for now, you can take Zack's bed." I was already half way on it. Climbing up onto it, turning over and wasting no time in laying down and curling up. I was wiped out. Exhausted, in every sense of the word.

Too tired to even bother trying to stay awake, I closed my eyes before Heather even left the room. I wasn't up to pretending to be okay. I couldn't.

I wasn't sure about leaving the room as I woke up a few hours later. Zack stood there, inspecting me while Josh sat on his bed. No doubt having just gotten home from wherever they had been before, and confused as to why I was in here. Wearing their clothes of all things.

"That's my shirt." Zack pointed out, as if reading my mind. Sensing my mood, he spoke again, "But, uh.. You can use it. I don't care."

I stayed quiet, forcing myself to sit up. One glance to the clock told me it was half passed two, and I knew Carlisle and Esme were both here.

I didn't reply to Zack, sitting there silently.

"What's going on?" Josh asked, obviously worried, "Why are you sleeping in here?"

"I think I'm gonna live here." I finally mumbled, my voice quiet and tired.

"Why?" He asked, concerned.

"Sweet!" Zack grinned, "I get a sister!"

"I don't know yet." I replied to Josh, "I just need to be here. At least for now."

"They're making you?"

"No." I answered immediately, "They're not making me. I'm making me."

"Well.." He mumbled, "Whatever it is, I know they grown-ups can figure it out. If you have to stay here, you can have my bed if you want it. I'll sleep on the floor."

The last time I spent the night here, it didn't go so well. I didn't care about that anymore, though, and the boys didn't seem to either. Like it never happened.

"I think I have to go out there." I sighed, glancing to the door.

"Why?" Zack asked, sitting next to me.

"I have to tell them why I ran here." I admitted, "I have to tell them that I have to stay here, but it's going to be really hard."

"Oh." Josh muttered, looking down, "I don't get it, though. Why don't you want to stay there with them? Aren't they nice to you?"

"I can't tell you." I replied, "But yeah. They're really nice to me, and I don't _want_ to leave, but I have to. For me." He could clearly hear the honesty in my voice, and how much I meant each word I said, given the way he nodded. Understanding, he sighed and stood up.

"Then let's go tell them." He said, and hesitantly, I took his offered hand. Accepting his help in standing up.

Steeling myself, I knew I had to face it. I couldn't just hide away like I wanted to.

I left the room, and I was actually partially glad Zack and Josh decided to follow me. Coming along, backing me up in a sense.

I heard their voices, and nearly stopped. It was nearly too much for me to face, but I had to. I stepped around the edge of the entryway, nervously holding my hands in front of me.

"Hey, honey." Esme greeted, making me feel like she wasn't upset with me in the slightest. That helped. It helped enough to make me look up. She and Carlisle were both here, but neither of them seemed upset. Mike and Heather were both seated on the loveseat to the right of the couch, both looking back at my arrival.

"As I was just about to mention," Heather murmured, retaking her attention, "She was.. Very upset when she got here. I don't know what happened, as she has yet to explain, but I'm sure that whatever it was can be worked out." She looked over at me, gesturing me forward.

"It can't." I mumbled, "It can't be worked out."

"I gave her something to help her calm down." Heather explained, "I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Not at all." Carlisle replied, "It's alright."

"Mom," Josh spoke up from behind me, "What's going on?" Mike stood up slowly with a sigh.

"Come on, guys." He told the boys, "Let's let them work this out."

"Actually," Esme murmured, looking to Heather, "Would you mind giving us a word alone with her?" Hesitantly, Heather looked to me. I sighed, having expected this. I'd need to explain this at some point, and it needed to happen if they were going to let me stay here. With a small nod, I looked down.

I watched Heather leave, slowly nearing the recently vacated loveseat. This wasn't easy, even with the helpful little pill fragment Heather had given me.

"What is it?" Esme asked me, obviously concerned as they watched me carefully sit, "Honey, what's going on with you?"

"Remember what Edward said?" I asked, keeping my eyes down, "Do you remember what he said? About what I remembered today?"

"I remember." She assured me.

"Well.." I mumbled, "Do you remember what Alice asked about before I left the living room? I saw something.. The vision, inside the vision.. I saw something I.. Wasn't supposed to see."

"What was it, sweetie?" She asked gently, "Honey, I know whatever it was must have caused you great pain-"

"Not just me." I whispered, "It wasn't just me it hurt, but that's not it. I saw something.. Something I wasn't supposed to see. Something I wasn't ready to see yet.."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." She admitted, "Please. Just help us understand."

"It was bad enough.." I admitted, "It made me make that agreement with Aro. That's the thing I'm talking about. That's what made me run away like I did."

"What Alice said wouldn't happen?"

"It did happen." I whimpered, "It might not have actually happened in the vision, because Alice changed her decision at the last second, but it did happen. I was there. I saw it happen. I saw it, and I'll never, ever forget it for as long as I live."

"It involved me." Carlisle had gathered that much. Hesitantly, I nodded.

"Not just you." I clarified, "But.. Mostly you, yeah."

"Not just me." He was trying to understand.

"I watched everything fall apart." I wished my voice could be stronger, but it wasn't, "Edward told you about the fight."

"The fight that doesn't happen."

"It did happen." I repeated, insisting, "It didn't actually happen to you, but it did actually happen to me. I don't care what Alice says. Those memories are real."

"Go on." He urged gently, and I took a breath. Trying to calm myself enough to do so.

"The fight." I went on, my voice quieting even more, "It didn't work out." This wasn't working out. Trying to explain this to someone who was never there was only frustrating me. I didn't have the words I needed to effectively make them see, so I paused for a minute. Trying to come up with them.

"The night before the actual fight," I started, "I dreamed about what would happen the next day. That's the vision in the vision Edward talked about." They nodded, understanding so far, "The vision in the vision was about the fight that didn't actually happen. That's what this is about. I know how stupid that must sound to you, but it's not stupid to me." It was silent for a moment, "It happened, and it killed me. Not actually, but I sure wish it had."

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, "Specifically? What was so horrible about this vision that was so life-altering?"

I held his gaze for a few seconds, before looking back down. Sitting in silence for that time, it wasn't hard for me to decide not to say anything about it.

"That's the part I can't tell you." I murmured, "But I can't do it. I can't wait around to see it all happen again. Whatever happens, is going to happen again. The path is the same. Don't you see that? Can't you see that? Everything is still the same. It's not changing."

"Not yet." Esme assured me, "But I promise you, honey. That will not happen."

"You can't make promises that you can't keep." I stressed, "It doesn't work like that. Not anymore. Especially with what I know about me now."

With a soft sigh, she looked to Carlisle. My trembles were back, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop them. I was cold again.

"I.." I took a breath, "I can't go back. I can't watch it all happen again. I'm not strong enough. Nothing will change then if nothing changes now. I think.. I think that this is the change that needs to happen. I have to be here right now. I have to do what's best for me."

"Alright." Carlisle tried to ease me, "You can stay here for now."

"Until you see for yourself the way things change." Esme added gently.

"I have to be here." Was my reply, repeating it, "I can't go back. When I came here, I told myself I was done. It hurt so bad to leave, but it hurt even worse to remember. When I came here, I told myself that there wouldn't be any more steps forward, but I think I was wrong. I think that's what this is. Maybe this is my way.. Of making sure it doesn't happen again. Not the same way."

"Nothing will change if nothing changes." Carlisle understood now. I nodded a little, sighing out the breath I didn't know I held.

"I want to go back," I wanted to make that clear, "I don't want this. I'd give anything for things to be different, but I have to think about me now. I wasn't supposed to see that, and.. Well, it changed everything. It changed everything in so short a time, I still don't know which way is up. I'm still trying to figure that part out."

"I understand." Carlisle murmured, but this was bothering Esme more than she wanted to let on. I could see it. He spoke again, "If this is really what you need, we won't stand in your way, but I do want you to know that if you change your mind at any point, all you have to do is call."

I nodded, appreciating that.

"We'll return in a month." He went on, "To know your final decision. We'll give you your time, but that time is only for your benefit. You know we'd wait as long as it took for you to change your mind, but I think you need a set time to make your decision."

"I think you're right." I allowed that with another nod. I hesitated, "How mad are the others at me?"

"They're not mad, Leandra." He replied, "They're hurt, and they're confused. They can't understand, but I'll talk to them."

"Please.." I whimpered, "Tell them I'm sorry. I didn't want this any more than they did, but.."

"It needed to happen." Esme sighed, "For you." I nodded again, fighting tears once again. I looked over at the sound of footsteps coming in from the kitchen. It sounded like Heather, so I knew she was coming back. Probably to check on me.

She rounded the doorway, and by the way I looked at her, she knew I was done talking to them alone.

I sat there, listening silently as they worked out a time frame. How long I'd be there, unless I decided to stay for a longer period of time, or even for good. They talked about most of my issues in detail. Just in case it was something that came up.

Nightmares, mostly. That if I woke up in the middle of the night, I was having a hard night, and might need a little help. Unless I insisted on getting through it alone. In which case, to still be there. To be ready, but to step back. That if she had any issues or questions, to not hesitate to call.

From things like how terrified I was of the dark, to the menial subjects like which foods I preferred over others.

It bothered me deeply, but I stayed silent. I couldn't speak up now, for fear of changing my mind instantly. This wasn't something I wanted, but something I needed. I hated the vast difference between those two things.

I was miserable, and I knew it showed in my eyes.

The bag they'd brought with them held everything I'd need while I was here. Clothes, toiletries, things like that. As the discussion was winding down, I looked over as Mike showed up at my side.

"Come on, kiddo." He murmured, lifting my bag for me, "I'll carry this up for you." That was my cue that there was more they needed to talk about, but to do that, I needed to leave.

I didn't say no to the departing hugs from them both, before turning with Mike toward the stairs. I knew they watched me walk away, and that was almost enough to make me turn back around, but I forced myself forward. Jogging up the stairs ahead of Mike behind me. I needed to get out of sight before I lost it again.

The suffering was slow. Agony ripped me apart, but somehow, I was still in one piece. The room was empty, which I appreciated. The boys were still downstairs, so I could cry without anyone watching me.

"Please let me know if you need anything, sweetie." Mike told me, setting my bag to the side. I nodded a little, standing there in the middle of the boys' room. I needed him to leave, but he seemed concerned enough to hesitate. He honestly cared.

"I just need one thing." I sniffled, and he looked up, pausing as he waited. I took a breath, "That no matter how bad it gets, don't give in."

"What do you mean?" He asked, concerned.

"Don't call them." I said, "When I'm crying and won't stop because I miss them so much, don't call them. It's gonna get bad. I know it, but you can't call them."

"Honey, if this isn't what you want-"

"It's not what I want that matters." I insisted, "It's what I know I need that does, and I need to be here. _Please_ don't call them, because I'd count on that too much, and it won't work."

"Okay." He sighed, "Alright." I had his agreement. Now, I just needed one from Heather. I'd get that later, but for right then, I had tears to shed.

Seeing I was finished talking, he wandered downstairs, and I stayed there. Allowing myself to lay back down, worn out and very deeply depressed.

I didn't go back downstairs to tell them goodbye. I couldn't face that, but I'd done it. I made them agree to leave me here. That was half the battle. The second half, would be forcing myself to stick to that plan. To force myself to remember that I needed to be here, despite wanting so bad to be home.

The daylight had started to fade before Heather showed up to talk to me. Her quiet footsteps into the room was actually slightly comforting.

"I know you're not feeling up to being around anyone right now." She murmured, sitting beside me on the bed, "So I brought you a plate."

I had nobody to blame for this self-induced exile but myself, so I hardly felt like eating anything. The pain was debilitating, completely obliterating any appetite I might have had.

My quiet sobs shook me as her hand gently smoothed my hair back. She didn't push it. This must have been part of the instructions they'd given her. A heads up sort of deal. I didn't have a chance to talk to her about not calling them, so I hoped Mike would talk to her about it for me before it became a problem.

My first night there went a lot rockier than the day had gone when it came to sleeping. Sleeping was out of the question.

I first woke up sobbing myself into being sick about an hour after Zack and Josh went to bed. Heather and Mike were both still awake at that point, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but two more crying fits later, they weren't.

The dreams weren't very tolerable anymore. They'd grown, gotten a thousand times worse thanks to the emotions of the last day or so. They became something horrible, and something I couldn't force myself to stay quiet through anymore. It wasn't only dreams about my family that kept my cheeks constantly wet with tears, but the dreams about Jack had intensified as well.

I was starting to feel really bad for waking up the boys each time I did so.

I felt like I'd woken up five, six times before Heather gave up trying to get me to go back to bed, and sat with me in the dark living room. Allowing me to cry myself into an exhausted sort of snooze sometime passed four in the morning.

"We'll figure it out." She assured me quietly as I laid there, allowing her to gently smooth my hair in an attempt to soothe me. I didn't reply, my tired eyes closed and resting. I'd apologized over and over for keeping the entire house awake. I really hadn't meant to, but she understood.

Mike must have mentioned to her that I didn't want my family called, because she never did. Respecting my wishes to stay right where I was. I appreciated that, as all of this pain would have been for nothing if they'd have done that.

This agony ripping me apart would have meant nothing, and all calling them would have told me was that it was impossible to live without them. Something I'd been telling myself all night, but I couldn't give up now. There had to be another way. There had to be an end in sight.

Early the next day, Mike and the boys were all exhausted, but were working hard on cleaning out Mike's office. Packing things in boxes and stacking them in the hallway to be taken out to the storage shed in the back yard. I felt even worse, but I was repeatedly assured that this wasn't a problem.

The room wasn't completely cleaned out or ready for use by the time bedtime rolled around that night, and I was reluctant to go to sleep in the boys room for fear of waking them up every half hour again.

The second night I was there, we decided to try letting me sleep in the room with Heather, kicking Mike out onto the couch in the living room.

He assured me this time that he didn't mind in the slightest. This was an effort to minimize the damage, so to speak. Keeping only one person awake was a lot better on my guilt than keeping the entire house awake. That it'd be trial and error until we found something that worked for everyone, or until I could ease into being here a little more.

That seemed to work for the first part of the night, as I was so exhausted from the night before, but inevitably, I did wake up again. Kicking, fighting my way out from under the blankets like they were the things suffocating me, and instantly waking Heather up next to me.

She tried to comfort me, but oddly, I resisted. Unlike the night before, I resisted.

To me, it felt like she was trying to treat a very painful wound while I fought her every step of the way. Shoving away her comforting hands, shoving her away from me while trying to move away at the same time. I was hurting. Very deeply hurting, and I didn't want comfort from her. I didn't deserve it.

Not to mention the very vivid dream I'd fought myself awake out of just moments before. Of Jack, and the intense look in his eyes. His voice still echoing in my head, the way it always echoed before.

Fighting her wasn't intentional, but it happened nonetheless. A resistance in me to accept Heather's attempts, fully knowing all this pain was my own fault. A reluctance, denying myself the comfort Heather wanted to provide.

I was defensive, my thoughts attacking me all over again. I was getting punished repeatedly by my own racing mind. The despair in my cries told her that I was in pain, and a lot of it. The same fearful part of me that I'd always protected had turned on me. Blaming me, hating me. Shaming me, making me feel this gut-wrenching guilt I couldn't shake.

"I know." Heather was trying so hard to talk me through this panic attack. The only contact I accepted was her supportive hand on my back, but that was only because I didn't have the energy to turn around and shove her away anymore. She didn't let that discourage her, though, and she continued, "I know exactly what you're going through, sweetheart, but you need to breathe."

I couldn't exactly do that. I wanted to. I wanted to breathe more than anything at that point, but I couldn't. My throat was closed, and tears of emotion and panic streamed steadily from my eyes as I gasped what air I could.

Jasper wasn't here. That only made this worse to realize. I would have to get through this on my own. My sobs into the pillow I clutched were desperate. Loud, as I didn't have the ability to keep them quiet. Squeezing from me with a tearing force that made my stomach and ribs ache. That was partially what the pillow was for.

Despite Heather's attempts to take the pillow from me, insisting that that wasn't helping me breathe, I held onto it. Only crying louder when she tried to take it. Holding onto it with all of my strength, like letting it go would kill me.

"Easy." She gave up trying to take it, "Okay, Leandra. You can keep it."

It felt different somehow. Falling to pieces here, instead of at home. I was a lot more in-tuned to my own emotions. With nobody there to take them, I was forced to face them. I felt it. This breakdown was different than the ones I'd had the night before.

I wasn't crying for me, or for what Jack put me through. I was crying for everything. The stress, tension leaving me a little more with each heart-wrenching bawling wail. This breakdown meant something to me. This breakdown, this panic attack was doing something. It was my dying resistance, my fear choosing to let itself go. I only had so much to give, and I was giving it all. I was finally giving it all up. Everything I'd clutched hard to my entire life was leaving me like this.

This kind of pain was unreal, so it didn't surprise me that this breakdown had a purpose. This was something Jasper would have considered too much for me to handle. This was something I'd never been allowed to feel, because it was so unbearable.

The panic attack eventually did ease itself. I still had issues slowing my racing heart, and breathing slower, but it was a whole lot better than when I first woke up. Whimpering, I laid back down, forcing myself to breathe deeply. Curled into a ball around the pillow as Heather continued to comfort me. Assuring me over and over that she understood, that she knew what I was going through, and that she was right there.

The more I calmed down, the gentler her voice got. I held onto that now, instead of resisting it. As tightly as I held onto the pillow, I emotionally held onto each word she told me. That I was safe here. She swore, promised me repeatedly that I was safe. I was okay. The tone with which she told me that helped immensely.

Her comforting didn't stop when I calmed down, which made all the difference in the world. The comforting normally stopped when I calmed down back at home, but Heather, despite being exhausted herself, kept it up.

She let me fall asleep to that. Apparently, she did know exactly what she was doing.

Twice more that night, she got me through it. She got me through one of the worst nights of my bad night career. Without fail, she was always there. To smooth my hair, or rub my back in an effort to help me breathe. All without anyone else waking up. Twice more, I had over half an hour of sobbing, bawling uncontrollably. Sleeping, exhausted, in between each breakdown. My head ached in the worst way, but the clenching desperation and agony in my heart dulled that ache.

My third night there went just about as horribly as my first and second. My guilt over causing so much grief was making it worse.

The fourth night, however, went better than the third night.

The fifth night went better than the fourth night, only waking up once or twice to cry.

My sixth day involved setting up the room that was meant to be mine. Placing a new bed in there, and a few pieces of furniture they could afford to get on short notice. Everything about that room would be mine, I was told. I could fix it up the way I wanted it to be fixed up. Taking my fear of the dark into consideration, a nightlight was placed in the corner by the window. Giving off enough light to illuminate the whole room in a soft glow.

My sixth night was spent in that room. As much as I hated being alone when I woke up again, this wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

The seventh night, when I only woke up briefly, I could start to see a way through this. That it wasn't hopeless, so long as I kept working at it. That I could start choosing whether or not to break down. I saw a light, a silver lining, so to speak. I could see a way out of my misery. I could adjust, if I just let myself do so.

As the days continued, though, I began to come back to life. Little bits at a time. The hole in my heart started to numb itself to a more relieving level. I was still sore, emotionally and mentally, but it was tolerable. I wasn't sure if it was a sort of resignation, or if I really was adjusting to being here, but I wasn't quite as tempted to give up and just go back home anymore.

Heather and Mike treated me with nothing but care and gentleness. They knew I was hurting, and they did everything they could to heal me. To gather up the pieces of what was left of me after what I'd done to lose everything I'd ever really loved.

Mike didn't know my full story, but he didn't have to to see what kind of shape I was in. He didn't need to know to see that the way I acted was a result of being hurt at some point in my past. Not by my family, he knew that much, but being hurt being the result of needing to go to them. He wasn't stupid. He knew I wasn't with Jack for a reason. Other than the fact that nobody could find him.

Zack and Josh both treated me kindly as well, despite keeping them awake that entire first night. They knew I didn't mean to. That only seemed to make them more determined to make this work.

Things were returning to a more normal pace around their house, but it included me this time.

The fourth night I spent in my new room, I woke up startled. I wasn't surprised to be woken up, but what I was woken up by did surprise me. Looking around the dimly lit room, finding what had woken me easily standing by the window.

"Mikah?" I mumbled quietly. I was very surprised to see him. I could vaguely see him smile.

"Hi, princess." He replied gently. Sitting up slowly in my bed, I watched him for a minute. As happy as I was to see him, like a refresher for my memory of being back home, I was hesitant.

My emotions mixed deeply, until I settled on one.

"You shouldn't be here." I murmured, looking down. I didn't know what he thought he was doing, but I was so worried that seeing him would undo everything I'd worked for so far in being here.

"Princess, you need to come home." He urged, "You have no idea how much the family misses you."

He was hoping to undo it. He wanted me to give up and go back home. He didn't understand that I wanted to go back home as much as he wanted me to, but that wasn't where I needed to be. I was starting to see how true that was. For more than just my reasons before. There was more to it now that I had given myself a chance to see it. There was a reason behind my being here.

"I miss them too." I admitted softly, keeping my eyes down, "But I can't."

"What's stopping you?" He asked, "Stop this, Leandra. You and I both know where you belong."

"You don't know." I sighed, shaking my head, "You have no idea, Mikah."

"I don't need to." He reminded me, "I will say, though, that if it's bad enough to chase you away, it can't be easy, but whatever it is, you know you'll get through it. You know we'll get you through it, but you need to come back home."

"I can't go back." I mumbled, "I'm here now."

"Yes," He said, "You're here now, but what kind of life are you looking for if you can't be with your family?" I shook my head again, but he spoke up, "Stop that. You know full well how hard you fought for them. You know full well how hard they've fought for you. If that kind of devotion could ever be severed by something as simple as remembering a dream, then what the fuck is the point of living?"

"It was more than that, Mikah." I replied, "It wasn't just some dream, okay? I was there. I saw it happen right in front of me. I saw it happen. You can't change that."

"What?" He asked, suddenly across the room to my bed, "What was it you saw? What was it that pushed you away from where you needed to be?"

"I can't tell you." I muttered, looking down.

"That's no excuse." He replied, "Tell me, because I'm dying to know why you're such a coward."

"I'm not a coward." I snapped, outraged. He had no idea how hard I'd worked in the last week alone, much less the last year just to keep going. Who was he to call me a coward for finding my limit?

"You're sure acting like one." He snorted, "Tearing your family apart because you couldn't tell the difference between a dream and reality."

"That's not fair, and you know it." I grumbled, "You don't-"

"Do you even care?" He asked, "Do you even care what you're doing to everyone else? You're selfish, and you're a coward."

"Go away." I'd heard enough, "I'm here now. Sorry, but you have to go. You're going to wake everybody up."

"Fine." He muttered, "I'll leave, but I won't be far."

"Just get out!" I hadn't actually meant to snap at him like that, but it was effective enough. I held his gaze with a glare of my own for several seconds, before I blinked, and he was suddenly gone.

What he didn't understand was that I did know how selfish I was. I was selfish. I didn't need him to come here and tell me that I was a coward.

I was scared, so deeply afraid of facing everything I remembered, and I couldn't take it, so I had to get out before I had to see that happen in real life. I couldn't take seeing that happen. I couldn't take having everything taken from me. I couldn't handle the small, tiny chance that that could happen. I needed to run, as far away from that possibility as I could.

It was a survival instinct, and it was undeniable. Unavoidable. Simple as that.

Everything else paled in comparison to what I had remembered. Even if everything else, all the love I had for my family was something I couldn't shake. I'd hold onto that for as long as I lived, but there had come a time when I couldn't stay there.

I had to give them up before I got hurt, and that included Mikah, unfortunately.

Thanks to him, I was up for hours, crying to myself. He came here, intending to talk reason, but all he did was poke at my aching wounds. They still hurt. I had no doubt that they'd always hurt.

My extended trial period lasted the entire month, as planned. Other than the visit from Mikah that night just over a week in, I'd had no contact with anyone from my family for a solid month.

I'd just really started to adjust, despite knowing every day that I was watched, but I'd grown to be okay with that. It was like having a different sort of conscience. Not many kids could say that. I had to wonder, though, just how much they'd heard. They probably heard how many breakdowns and panic attacks I'd had that first week.

The days came easier, the nights less intense. I wasn't sure how they did it, but they got me through it. That reluctance and resistance. I saw a little more possibility each day, despite the fact that the nightmares stayed. How I looked at them changed, and by changing how I looked at them, I could see passed them. It was like while I was here, I could choose whether or not to have them.

After my first week, I only got better. This place was like a numbing agent for those memories I couldn't see yet. It eased them after enough time, suppressing them for me. Like just being around normal people was making me normal as well. Perhaps it was psychosomatic. I wasn't asking questions.

Zack had already started counting on me staying there forever, even willing to change the day of his birthday to mine, just so we could tell everyone we were twins. It was nice knowing he supported me that much, and approved of this arrangement wholeheartedly.

Josh approved of this just as much, if not more. He was so nice to me, sort of taking me under his wing. It was so different actually living with humans, instead of only staying a night or two here and there.

I still missed my family more each day, but that was something I could get used to as well. If it meant not having to see any of them die, I had to be okay with that.

The days were warmer than I remembered them being before. When I was brave enough to venture outside with the boys, the breeze hit me differently than it had before, and at first it was unpleasant, but I adjusted to that too.

Heather not only supported me leaving the house, but encouraged it, which was strange to me. She knew the threat against me, but she encouraged me leaving the house. She encouraged it, because she worried about the possibility of depression. Being cooped up too long could cause that, which I didn't know before.

She also encouraged it, because playing it too safe, over-preparing for something could make the fear of something even bigger. It confused me, that concept, but she assured me that she knew what she was doing, so I didn't question it after that. I trusted her.

Once I adjusted to the way I felt, I could leave the house more comfortably. I still preferred the back yard to the front yard, but not enough for it to really bother me. Now, I could leave the house without much issue. I was still working on learning how to wander a little passed the front yard, but I knew that was coming quickly.

With the boys, I felt like there was really nothing left in the world to be afraid of. At least not as afraid as I used to be. The clouds weren't as dark, the rain not as heavy as it always was, and if I really let myself look, I wasn't allergic to finding comfort in something as simple as just having the chance to look.

I hated to face it, but life got easier. I hated to face it, but it quickly became apparent that I liked being a kid. Having the ability to find the entertainment in just wasting the day doing nothing. Walking up the street barefoot to someone else's house because they had an inflatable pool.

Just wandering. Just being bored, and laughing about a stupid subject for no reason. Staying up late, laying on the living room floor watching movies almost the entire night. Sleeping in the next day, because we were up almost the entire night. Or spending the night in each other's rooms, just because it was something different.

Two weeks, three weeks passed.

There was an amazing feeling in being that way. Something I'd never, ever felt before. Being allowed to breathe, without more piling on top of more. Letting my skin feel the warmth of the sunny days when they came without being afraid of who it'd effect. Letting the warm breeze make my hair tickle my face without being annoyed at it.

And through it all, I had Zack and Josh next to me. Something I hadn't known before, was that they had a tire swing set up in the back yard. Hanging from one of the bigger mature trees near the house. It was filthy, but that didn't take away from my interest. With enough insistence, Josh managed to get me on it. Once that happened, that was my favorite place in the world.

Letting myself see, to feel and to just allow all this to make a difference in me.

The pressure didn't squeeze me anymore. I wasn't being smashed by the weight of everything I had to worry about. Everything I had to worry about went from consuming every waking moment, to a fleeting thought now and then, and that was something I never imagined was possible. It was possible, though.

Zack was the lighter one. Josh kept watch on me like a mini Heather, but he did so in a way that didn't take away from the light, easy feeling around me. Josh made sure none of Zack's friends said anything about me being there and following them around. He only had to knock their heads together once, and for the first time, I didn't really have to worry about someone standing up for me doing too much damage to someone.

I started listening to things, light conversation between the people around me. Plans for the rest of the summer, thoughts on things, opinions. Jokes, laughter and light conversation I wasn't used to hearing. Their entire lives didn't revolve around what was going wrong. It took me some time, but after a little while, I could participate. The doomsday anticipations eased, letting me breathe again. It let me breathe, really for the first time.

Almost before I knew it, my birthday was a little over a week away. Once I realized that, I realized just how much time had passed effortlessly. It really didn't surprise me to see my family show up. I'd expected them to need an answer. I just wasn't looking forward to it, despite how much I did miss them. I'd always miss them.

Zack and I were both piled on the tire swing at once while Josh pushed us into spinning around while we'd swing back and forth. I had grown a decent appreciation for the spinning.

I sat on the top part of the tire, while Zack sat in it. The rough rope clutched tight in both my hands, Zack held onto the tire itself, laughing right along with me.

"If you puke," Josh called to us, "Aim it away from me."

"Shut up and push." I called to him, gaining only laughter. He did as I said, giving a rather good push. Nearly spinning us into the next tree, but we were far enough away that I wasn't worried about it.

Behind us, the back door opened, and Heather stepped outside. I couldn't really tell why she'd be coming out, as I couldn't focus too much on her at the moment.

"Guys." She called, meaning she wanted our attention. Josh nearly got knocked over as he clutched at and stopped the tire for us. I didn't move right away as I saw who'd stepped out with her. Carlisle first, Esme slightly behind him as they looked our direction.

Zack was the first to climb off the tire, giving me room to do so should I choose to. I wasn't sure about moving yet, still surprised at seeing them as the realization of how much time had really passed crawled slowly through my mind. I tensed, not prepared for the flood of emotions to return with enough force to take my breath away at just seeing Carlisle and Esme. My heart squeezed in a now-unfamiliar way.

It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see them. I was overjoyed, and that was the problem. I still cared about them more than I could ever begin to describe, but really thinking about it, I wasn't ready.

"Can I ask you boys to take this up front?" Heather asked. That wasn't just a request, but a nice way of telling them to go away. Josh looked to me, and I nodded a little. He was worried about me, given how upset I was at the start of this month.

"It's okay." I mumbled, and he nodded a little. Leading Zack around the side of the house as Heather started down the steps in my direction. Carlisle and Esme following her closer.

I continued to sit there, still swaying slightly as I looked down at the rope knot around the top of the tire.

"Hey, sweetie." Heather murmured, stopping the swing for me, "Feel like taking this inside?" With a heavy sigh, I nodded a little.

She smiled, trying to comfort me as she helped me climb down off the tire. I landed on my feet, dusting off my shorts as I did so. Looking up, though, Carlisle and Esme hadn't been the only ones to show up. Everyone had come to hear what I had to say, given how crowded the back porch had become.

My family needed my answer. My decision. Though I wasn't prepared for this, I knew it had to be done. Just like almost a month before, I knew I had to get through this if I was going to move forward. They needed to know.

Alice, however, wasted no time in coming forward. Down from the porch, across the grass to hug me tight. I grunted a little with the force of it, and hesitantly returned it. I could feel how much she'd missed me while I'd been here in that hug, which was enough to nearly knock me over.

They could all see just how well I'd been taken care of here. I was sure that was all they had asked of her.

Alice seemed reluctant to let me go, but she needed to for Emmett to get his hug next. I squeezed my eyes shut, the renewing emotion a bit overwhelming. Of course I missed them. I'd known this all along, but it was so hard to face it now.

I couldn't deny the way I felt now. Like I'd been having the nicest dream, and suddenly I was awake again. Like it was reality hugging me now. I loved them, that much was true, so why was I disappointed at being woken up?

It took a few minutes to get everyone back inside, and just as I figured it would, the living room became very crowded. Especially considering Mike was home, so we had to find room for everyone to sit. Even if half of them chose to stay standing.

If they were worried about Mike treating me as anything but a daughter, the way any loving father would, they had no reason to. He was an awesome father, and though it did take me a little while to see that for myself, I did now. He was supportive, but understanding. And had the funniest jokes.

I faced my family now. I faced their expectations, their need for answers. They didn't get right into that, however.

"Leandra," Carlisle was the one to speak first, "First things first. I need to know how you are." I understood his worry. How often I'd told them that I never wanted to leave their side. Now look where I was.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, "And no, I'm not just saying that. I really am fine." I looked over, and up at Heather who offered a small smile in support.

"You certainly look like you're doing okay." Carlisle pointed out.

"Better than okay." Emmett added, "I can hardly see those circles under her eyes anymore."

"And she's starting to put on some weight." Alice murmured, her eyes down. As if she seemed unwilling to face that either.

"She is." Heather gave her opinion, "She's doing great now. She had a little bit of a rough patch there in the beginning, but she came right through it."

"Rough patch?" Esme asked quietly, concerned.

"Dreams." I answered, "Bad ones." Esme's expression softened in sadness, "But I got through them. I don't have them as much anymore."

That had to be a surprise to them. They had to see that this place was good for me. They would when I got through this meeting, but facing my family now, it was hard to speak. They meant the most to me in the world, and despite the fact that this was my decision and I had to stick to it, I hated knowing what this would mean for them.

"She's been very well behaved." Heather added, "Her appetite's grown, and she sleeps on average eight to nine hours a night. Compared to the three or four at most when she first arrived. I'm proud of her for how well she's taken to everything changing." Nodding, Carlisle looked down. I looked down as well.

I didn't know before doing this that this would go so well, so seeing it for myself, it made me see that this was where I needed to be. For it to be going this well, I knew they wouldn't take me away from it. They wouldn't make me leave it.

"I need to know." Alice spoke up, and I looked over at her, "Are you coming home?"

I couldn't blame her for being so forward. She'd waited patiently for a month, but she also had to see. I was doing good. Life was different for me now. Life was livable. Life wasn't just something to worry about anymore. Why would I want to leave that behind? Yeah, I missed them, but not enough to go back to sleepless nights and constant tension.

The silence in the room all waited on what I said now.

"I sleep here." I mumbled, "I eat here. I breathe here."

Nobody said anything, waiting for me to continue.

"I miss you guys." I admitted quietly, "A lot. More than you know. Even more every day, and I wish I could go back, but.."

"We miss you, shorty." Emmett murmured, and I knew he meant that. I looked over at him, my expression apologetic. I felt bad for this choice I knew I had to make. As much as I hated letting them down, I had to think about what I needed versus what I wanted.

"But I'm doing good here." I repeated, "I like it here." They needed more, so I took a breath and went on, "I'll be going to school in September." I ignored their obvious surprise, "I'll be in the same grade as Zack, and in the same school as Josh. Even with all the school I missed, they're gonna let me start the sixth grade."

"How did you do it?" Emmett asked, looking over at Heather, "How is she willing to start school? How did you fix that?"

"I didn't do a thing." She replied honestly. Which was true. She spoke again, "She and the boys have been spending a lot of time outside. I guess they've been socializing her on their own. I guess they know what to do more than we do."

She paused, hesitating as she and Mike shared a glance, before she continued, "At first, she was terrified of leaving the house. Insisting on staying where it was safe. Not that I could blame her in the slightest, with all that's been going on in her life, but this was more than that. She was nervous, all the time, and constantly tense. Terrified of moving or breathing wrong. So fragile, like one wrong move, and she'd shatter."

I looked down.

"But eventually, she started to come around." Mike added and I looked over at him, "As the boys kept insisting her to come outside with them, she'd move as far as the porch, but no further. Then, it was no further than the yard. She still has her problems with leaving the yard, but now and then, I'll catch them up the street with a few of Zack's friends."

Heather nodded, agreeing.

"She's not as fearful as she used to be." Heather continued, "She has a healthy set of boundaries, and I finally convinced her that it's okay to have her own room. For awhile, she was fearful of having her own space, but eventually, she agreed. She still doesn't talk much, but that's okay. She doesn't have to." I looked up at her again as she smoothed my hair gently in the back. She smiled a little, "I speak her language."

There it was. I hadn't had a way of describing the way I felt, but her words made me see. She was right. She knew the things I didn't say like Edward did, but without the gift he had.

Hesitantly, Esme looked to Carlisle. Her expression sad. Hearing all this had to be hard for them.

"Maybe it has something to do with having kids her own age around her all the time." Mike suggested, probably trying to help ease how this conversation was going, "A constant influence like that is bound to make a difference in a kid that's not used to having an influence like that."

"It's nothing against you," Heather murmured, assuring them, "But keeping her, and witnessing the way she's still nervous.. The only way to describe it, would be watching an animal, caged its entire life, experience freedom for the first time. I was worried something like this might happen, but that isn't your fault. You did the best you could for her, and she does clearly love you all very much."

I nodded immediately. I did. I loved them all more than I could ever really describe, but here was where I needed to be.

I hated to think it, but maybe I had been like a pet to them. Something to keep fed and out of trouble. Something to keep under constant surveillance. Always listened for, always cornered in safety. Not one move went unaccounted for, not one sneeze. Not one sniffle, not one shift in my emotions. Tied up, held back.

It wasn't their fault, but I was watched too closely, and that had to have added to my nervousness. I hardly realized it at the time, but now that I got to live this way, I definitely noticed it now.

"Is all this true, Leandra?" Carlisle asked quietly.

I nodded again, "It's true." I took a breath, "I don't think too much anymore. I don't hide away anymore. I come out of my room. I'm not as scared anymore, and I go to bed now. I'm not afraid to sleep." He understood what I was getting at. No more half visions, nothing plaguing me while I was awake.

"I'm not afraid, Carlisle." I whimpered, my tone heavy, "I'm not afraid anymore." I couldn't help noticing how everyone looked down. Everyone but Carlisle, who held my sad gaze with a sad one of his own. I hated it, but this was the truth.

I knew, as well as they now knew, that this arrangement was going to be permanent. I wasn't going back home. At least not for quite some time.

"Can I keep you?" I had to ask, "I want to keep you." I needed to know if they'd still be willing to stay in my life while I was here.

"Of course." He replied immediately, and for the first time, Alice smiled a little. That question of mine seemed to give her hope. It seemed to give them all hope. Like they'd all been worried that I never wanted to see them again, which was understandable considering the last conversation I'd had with Alice. Now that I'd had a chance to think about it, putting some distance between them and me, I didn't want to lose them completely.

"Like we'd leave you behind just like that." Alice murmured.

Emmett spoke up, his tone still slightly sad, "You're still part of the family, shorty."

"That'll never change." Jasper added with a sigh, looking to Carlisle. I sighed as well, nodding also. I was relieved. I'd been nervous that this choice would send them away for good. That I'd never see them again.

No matter how well I'd been doing here, though, I would deeply miss them. The time I'd spent with them was more than enough to make this new arrangement hard. They'd taught me so much. Gone through so much, done so much for me. They were the first ones to ever really try for me. They saved me. In every sense of the word. They saved me, they protected me.

They'd always be the ones to be my family. As much as I couldn't stay, I wished it was different just as much.

I sighed deeply, looking up at Heather, "Can I talk to them? Alone?"

"Of course." She replied quietly, as she could see how hard I was trying to keep my tears back. I felt Mike stand from beside me, carefully stepping around where I sat. Gently patting the top of my head in support as he led Heather out of the room.

I waited a bit after they'd left the room to speak again.

"I have other reasons now." I mumbled, keeping my gaze down on my hands, "More reasons now for being here. I couldn't explain them before, but now I think I can. Why I picked here instead of anywhere else. Why I needed to land here."

"You don't have to explain, Leandra." Jasper said, but I shook my head.

"I want to." I replied, "I want to explain." I took another breath, holding it for a second, before I went on.

"Remember, Alice?" I asked, and she glanced to me, "Remember when you told me that you guys trust her most to keep me safe?"

"I remember." She replied quietly.

"You were right." I said, "But it's more than that. It's bigger than that. I know I'll probably never be normal, but.. Here, I think I might have a chance. You know? Because there, living with you, it was okay not to be normal. That isn't how it should have been. I see the difference now."

They stayed quiet, so I knew I could keep going.

"Heather.." I murmured, "She was the first one to learn how to build a life for herself after Jack. I want to learn how to do that for me. That's why I chose her over my dad. My dad would have treated me like nothing was wrong with me. Heather knows that there is something wrong with me, but she knows what it's like and what it's going to be like later too. I want to learn how to be a good person after Jack, and.. I.. Think she can teach me."

I didn't miss how I talked now about Jack like an affliction. A disease, a sickness that needed treatment, because that's how I saw him now. That's essentially what he was. Heather knew exactly what it was like for me, because she'd been there. Telling someone about it only went so far. Not near as far as experience itself went.

"The.." I hesitated, looking for the word, "The circle I was stuck in.. That I'm still a little stuck in, how I can't not think about him no matter how hard I try.. I need to fix it. There has to be a way to do that, and I thought.. If anyone knows how to do that, how to live with it, it's Heather. She can teach me how to be like her. She can teach me how to be okay again, because she's done it before."

"We understand, sweetheart." Esme offered gently.

"I can choose." I went on, my voice quieter, "I can choose now if I want to think about something, or.. Or see something. I don't know how it's different, but it's different now. It's not busy in my head anymore, and that helps a lot. I'm not afraid of my gift anymore, now that I know what it does. What it can do. It was like.."

I paused for a sigh again, once more looking for the words or a comparison.

"Like.. That last vision.. The one I remembered.. It was stuck. Holding everything there, making me think about it. Now that it's gotten through, everything else is easy. I can control it now. I can do so much more now than I could before. I know a lot more than I knew before. I could figure it out, and I did."

I looked to Carlisle, "It.. That vision was what was making me not trust you completely. I was afraid to, but I didn't know why yet. Now I do." They waited, so I explained, "I was afraid to, because part of me knew how bad it hurt to watch you die.."

I'd never addressed it like that before. Not yet.

"I was scared," I continued in their stunned silence, "Just like that. Just like that, you were gone. I saw it happen. Right there, everything was gone.." I forced myself to move on from that subject, returning to the last one with a deep breath before I could crumble again, "And I guess I was trying to protect myself by not getting too attached, and that meant not trusting you." He gave a slow nod, understanding.

"Wow." Emmett muttered, "I guess that changes things."

"I.. Really hope this can fix things." I admitted.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, confused.

"This.." I mumbled, "Being here is for you guys, just as much as it is for me. Aro.. He'll be okay. As long as I'm not with you, he'll be okay. If he ever does come looking, he'll see this. That I left, and that you still mean a lot to me. Everything to me. If I'm here, he might not come looking for me early. Maybe he will when I'm older, but I won't have to make that choice so soon, you know?"

They nodded, understanding what I was getting at.

I paused for another breath, "And Jack.. I know he's still out there somewhere. I haven't forgotten about that, but if I'm here, I know he won't risk Heather or the boys by coming around before he's sure he can get me alone. If he still hates me, even after he's been turned, that means he has to still care about them too. If I'm here, you don't have to worry about protecting me before you protect yourselves."

"You've really given this a lot of thought." Alice commented quietly, surprised.

"Yeah." I agreed, nodding a little, "It's what makes the most sense for what's going on. You know? It's just.. It's hard, though. I miss you all a lot. I miss my room. I miss being there, and having someone always awake when I need you, but this is the best way. The safest way for everyone."

I looked down again, "I think there's a reason vampires aren't supposed to keep humans. I know every case can't be like this, but it's proof enough for me. That won't change what you mean to me, though. I promise. I owe you guys my life, a thousand times over. Whatever I saw, whatever I see won't change that. Without you, I wouldn't have this chance with Heather. I wouldn't be able to make a choice like this, about my life or where I wanted to be."

"They might be willing to let you go," I looked over, startled at Mikah's voice suddenly in the room, "But I can't." How'd he get in here? Reading my confusion, he smiled sadly.

Alice sighed, annoyed, "I thought we told you to stay out."

"They're in the back yard." Mikah replied, "Calm down."

"You can't be in a house full of humans." She grumbled.

"Are you here to call me a coward again?" I mumbled, and he looked down, "That wasn't fair."

"I didn't understand before." He explained hesitantly, "I'm sorry for that."

"When did he do that?" Alice asked.

"Like a week after I was here." I answered, "He showed up to tell me that I needed to come home. When I said I couldn't, he got mad."

"I wasn't mad." He clarified, "I was confused."

"You really have a hard time following orders, don't you?" Jasper asked him, and he sighed.

"When it comes to staying away from her, I guess so." He said, "But I'll be the first to admit that."

"Please don't fight." I requested quietly, shutting them both up. I sighed, "Can you do me a favor, though?" I stood up, "Can you keep him?" I nodded toward Mikah, "Can you not throw him out?"

"Of course." Carlisle replied again, "He's already a part of the family." I nodded a little, relieved. I didn't want him to be coven-less because I decided to leave it. It was nice to know that my boneheaded best friend had a place to go and a family that I couldn't have.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." Mikah insisted.

"You have to." I replied, looking to him, "Live outside if you have to, but Alice is right. You can't be in here when everyone else is in here. There are five people living here now. It's not safe. For you or for them." I hesitated, "But mostly for them."

"I can't stand this." He admitted, crouching so he could look at me easier, "My whole life, I've been all about keeping a family together. No matter what it takes. This is wrong. This isn't fair."

"Fair or not, it has to happen." I murmured, "Keep the necklace, but take care of it or I'll kill you. I think you need it more than I do."

He seemed like he wanted to keep protesting, but he glanced in Jasper's direction. All I heard was silence, so I had a feeling that whatever Jasper was saying, he was doing it so quietly that I couldn't hear it.

After about a minute of silence, Mikah looked to me once more, smiling sadly again, "This sucks."

I looked down, "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He replied. His tone told me he understood a little better now, even without his next words.

"This is a choice you needed to make for you. It sucks, but I get it." He meant that, so I didn't feel as bad, "I am glad, though, that we finally got a proper explanation."

"You'll still be around, right?" I asked, looking to Carlisle, "I mean, I know you said I could keep you guys, but will you still be around?"

"For as long as we can be." He answered.

"And even after we can't be, we'll find a way to see you." Emmett spoke up, ending his streak of silence.

"Good." I sighed, "Because Mikah's right. This sucks. _So_ bad."

Unfortunately for me, I was feeling it again. The sadness at seeing something so amazing coming to an end. It didn't matter if it was my choice or not. It still hurt, and it bothered me. I knew full well that I wasn't losing them completely, but that didn't make a difference in the pain. Being so strong was never bound to last, and I stupidly started to cry.

Mikah sighed, and reached forward, "Come here, princess."

For the second time, he was allowed contact with me without everyone flipping out. He was easy, hugging me gently. The lightest pressure of his arms around me was just enough to comfort me. As much as I could be comforted.

"For what it's worth," He spoke quietly, "I'm proud of you. You're so smart, so caring. I'm sorry I didn't understand before, but I do now. You had to make the choice that was right for you, and you did. You're choosing to move forward with your life, and to do that, this was needed." I hugged tighter to him, unable to help the soft sob from leaving me, "I know.. I know it hurts, but look at this way. You let me be a big brother again for just a little while. Before you went and got all grown up on me."

I sobbed a quiet laugh, shaking my head.

"For the rest of your life," He told me, "All you have to do is call. I'll come running. You'll always have a big brother in me, princess. No matter where you are."

Hesitantly, he pulled back. He met my teary gaze almost firmly. He could see, no doubt, how scared I was. I was standing here, both having to put distance between myself and my family, and facing the biggest fight of the rest of my life lying ahead of me. I was facing a fight that was needed, and despite the way I had both hands on it now, I knew it could easily slip from my grasp with one wrong move. That completely terrified me.

"You've got this." He murmured, "You can do this."

It nearly never failed. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it.

I took a deep breath, nodding. He obviously had to go, as I listened to the back door open. He held my gaze for just a few seconds longer, giving me a quick nod before he was gone and Emmett took his place, hugging me tightly.

"I don't mean to intrude, or rush you," Heather spoke from the doorway moments later, "But we're late, sweetie."

"Late?" Emmett asked me.

"We're going to see my dad today." I mumbled in reply, "But he can wait a little longer."

"Look at you," Emmett joked, "Collecting families like coins in a jar. You have three now, shorty. Two biological sisters, three adopted. Seven brothers, two mothers.. Four, if you decide to forgive yours and if you turn out to like Rachel, and three fathers. How many more do you need?"

I had to laugh again, holding on as he tried to back off.

"Seven brothers?" I asked.

"Well, there's Hunter." He pointed out, "Zack, Josh. Me, Jazz, Edward.."

"And Mikah." I muttered and he nodded.

"Didn't you hear?" Zack had followed Heather into the house, "She's my twin now. My birthday is her birthday. I moved it."

Instead of asking, Emmett chuckled, "And you'll watch out for her now? That's your responsibility as a brother. Especially her twin."

"Hell yeah." Zack replied as if that was obvious, "I'll watch out for her."

"Me too." Josh added quietly, "I know most of the kids at school. Nobody's gonna pick on her."

"They're a little excited." Heather explained with a small laugh of her own.

Emmett finally got free, but it was Alice's turn next.

The only way I was able to get through those goodbyes was by telling myself that it wasn't really goodbye. I'd accomplished something today, and that was to handle things myself. To explain my side of things, and by making them see why I needed this change, I'd comforted myself. It was a big change, to be sure, and I was scared, but I knew that with all the support I had, I could learn to be human. To overcome, to survive. I was more than what my past made of me, and I just had to learn how to be who I was meant to be.

I couldn't learn how to be human with my family. It just wasn't possible.

Living with humans was the only way to do that, and it was an important lesson I needed to learn for my life to turn out the way it needed to turn out. I'd work on everything else in time, but for right then, I was right smack dab on the path to the rest of my life.

Though it was a long path, I knew I could take it one day, one step at a time, and if I somehow screwed up along the way, I had so many people behind me. Failure wasn't only not an option, but not possible. That was very comforting to know.

I started this new life with next to nothing. No trust, no confidence, no will to make any decisions for myself. If that vision had taught me anything, it was that I could do things for myself. I wasn't helpless, or dependent. It made me see just how capable I was of making the right decision. I wasn't entirely a fuck-up. That was a gigantic lesson for me.

Unlike the choice to get away from Jack, this decision was all my own. I wasn't just running from something, but I'd known this was coming for awhile now. I'd known this was going to happen, and I made this choice all on my own. With the help of that vision, I saw the path I was meant to take.

I would wind up here, and though how it happened could have gone a little smoother, things were the way things were now and there was no changing that, so I wouldn't worry about it.

This was a big way to learn how to just let things go, instead of holding onto them with both hands. I wasn't losing anything by this arrangement. I wasn't. I was gaining so much more than I ever could have gained staying where I was.

I was gaining lessons, experiences, situations. Things I couldn't get with my family, no matter how hard they tried. I was a human, and no matter how hard they tried to be, they couldn't be. I needed to be with my own kind, to learn how to be a human myself. That was crucial.

I'd always, for every breath I took, be protected more than any human in history, and that was the way I knew all this would be okay. I'd be okay. I'd learn how to be human, and whatever was coming my way, I could handle it. I could handle it, and if ever came a time that I couldn't, I would force myself to handle it.

One by one, the others left the house. I wouldn't be going with them, but that was okay with me. Heather, Mike and the boys walked them out, giving me a bit of time with Carlisle and Esme alone. Something I needed.

"Thank you." I mumbled the second the front door closed, "For giving me everything you've given me. I know this isn't for good, but.. Without everything you've both done for me, I wouldn't be standing here."

"Oh, honey." Esme sighed, kneeling and hugging me tightly.

"You guys.." I whimpered, holding onto her, "You taught me how to trust, even if I was too afraid to fully do it. I'll never forget that for as long as I live."

This was hard on her too. I could feel that in the different way she hugged me. It was so much the same, but this hug was different. I could feel her sadness. This hug felt sad, not comforting like I'd gotten used to.

I eventually, slowly pulled back. Stepping back half a step so I could look up at Carlisle.

"You meant too much to me to lose." I explained, "That's what made me run at first, but everything else made me stay."

"I understand." He assured me, "I'm so sorry you saw that."

"I don't think I'm sorry about it anymore." I admitted, pausing before I decided to explain, "Seeing what I saw.. Remembering it really told me what was holding me back. How I wanted to trust you so much, but I couldn't. I thought it was because of what Edward said at first, but it's not. It was because I'd lost you once already, and I guess I was trying to protect myself this time around. Trusting someone means a lot to me, and I have to be completely sure about it before I do it."

"I promise." Carlisle told me, "It will not turn out that way."

"I really, really hope you're right." I mumbled, "Please prove me wrong. I don't want to be right if that's what it means. You don't even know how much you mean to me. More to everyone else, and it killed me just as much to see them lose you as it did to lose you myself."

Hearing the emotion in my tone, he kneeled as well. Hugging me next, and I returned it. I meant every word I said, and he knew that.

I sighed as I pulled back, "Mikah can have my room, since he doesn't have one yet."

"I highly doubt he'll be needing a room." Esme murmured, "I think he'll be spending most of his free time here."

"As long as nobody sees him, I'm okay with that."

I watched them all leave, standing there on the porch with Heather. She hugged me into her side, sighing quietly.

"You did so well today, Leandra." She smiled a little, "You're sure this is your choice?"

"I'm sure." I mumbled, nodding a little as I sighed as well, "They'll still be around."

"Why didn't you choose to go to your father instead?" She asked, obviously confused.

"You know." I replied, "You know me, and you know what Jack is like. That makes a difference." She hugged me tighter, understanding, "Having someone there that knows makes a difference."

And it did. If I could learn how to get better, to get just a little bit of the poison in my blood out, I had as good of a chance with Heather as I'd ever have.

I hadn't known her long enough before, but this month had given me an opportunity to see something I probably never would have. Spending this time with Heather had given me just enough of a peek to see what I probably never would have.

Looking over and up at her, she looked down at me, giving me a small, supportive smile. I could see it plain as day now, the part I never could see before. Reaching up, I held onto her hand.

She wasn't healed. Heather wasn't cured. She knew what the darkness was like. She was still fighting the same fight she'd fought practically since she was born. She did know what I was going through, because something like this doesn't have a cure.

It doesn't just go away. The fight doesn't just stop. There is no way to win in a fight like ours, but that wasn't enough of a reason to stop hoping. It wasn't that she hid it, but she'd learned by now how to get passed it. To accept that the fight we're in was just a part of our lives now. Instead of fighting it, she stopped fighting it. Gaining peace in acceptance.

There was no getting over it. There was coping, and there was moving on. It was a part of us that would never go away.

She could teach me how. That was all I wanted. She could teach me how to be a survivor, instead of Jack's weak little victim. She could teach me how to cope with it. Without even trying, she could teach me. All I needed was a chance to watch, and to learn from her the way I had been already.

Someone like her to look up to was something I needed. I'd never find anyone like her in a million years. Someone who knew exactly where I was, and someone who was still there herself.

I was doing her as much of a favor as I was myself. That was the way it was. I was giving her someone who understood her as much as she understood me. Who admired her for the reasons she never thought she'd ever be admired for.

She heard the same voices I heard. She remembered the things I remembered. She'd experienced the same things I'd experienced. She'd been through it all. She'd been there before, and she was here now. A better person because of it. Not dragged down like I was in the middle of being.

I gave her someone for her to help drag through the darkest part of the darkness in me. She knew exactly what that was like, and I knew exactly what this was like. I gave her someone to stand with, instead of always having to bear it alone like she'd chosen to do so this long.

I would make a difference to her. I could already see how I had done so so far.

Against her side, I turned. Hugging onto her. Giving her the okay for her to hug me in return. She spoke my language. She might not have known how right she was when she'd said that, but she would. She would, because I spoke hers too.

As much as I would miss my family, and living there with them, part of me had always felt alone. That part of me stuck in the darkness had always felt alone and afraid. Being here, standing here with someone who'd spent most of her life in the same darkness I was stuck in now, it soothed that part of me.

That was what I needed. I could learn now. I would learn.

Looking up at her, she returned my look, and I couldn't help smiling at her. She smiled as well, sighing as she smoothed my cheek.

"Okay." She said, "Let's go inside."

I still had the visit to my dad to get through that day, but I found I wasn't as against that as I always was. I was on a different path now, and that was okay. The path I was on with my family had only one destination. One result. One possible ending for me.

If I could learn, if I could somehow let Heather teach me even just the basics of being human, the path I stood on now had many, many destinations, and even more results. Though so many more things could go wrong for me on this path, as many things could go right for me. I would become someone worth being proud of. Not for what I'd been through, but for what I had yet to become.

Alice had told me that there was nobody better to look up to than Carlisle and Esme. I believed her, but there was one other person who was right up there with them, and I stood there with her now.

Letting Heather turn me around, we stepped back toward the front door together. The first few steps on my new path.

**END**

**A/N: First off, if this is choppy or a little hard to follow, I apologize. This was really difficult to write.**

**Second: God, that was hard. You have no idea how hard this was. I almost didn't want to post this chapter because of it.**

**As a brief history, I've had writing a steady part of my life since roughly 2008. I've had this part of Leandra in my life since 2010. Writing her story, going over everything she had to tell, has gotten me through some very, very hard times in my life. Through crises, depression, difficulties beyond my control. Through many, many times when I thought my life was about to change too much to understand her much anymore, but she was always there when I needed a distraction or some way to cope.**

**If it were up to me, I'd keep going. I'd continue her story, because there's so much in her life that still needs explaining. I'm not giving this up willingly, or without a lot of sadness. In a sense, this was taken or stolen from me.**

**I just have absolutely no other choice but to end it like this due to where my life is now, and where my life is about to go. As much as I want to believe this time is just like all the others, I know differently. This has to be it. At least for the foreseeable future.**

**I thought the best way to let her go was to provide Leandra, sadly one of my best friends, with a way to heal on her own.**

**I will be leaving my account up for those that want to go back and reread her story for awhile to come, and for those who want to send me a message or two, should they have any questions regarding Leandra. I'll be happy to answer as much as I can, and wouldn't mind doing so in the least, so please don't hesitate.**

**I also wanted to thank all the reviewers, past and present, who've stuck by her story through thick and thin. You guys have absolutely no idea what your reviews have always meant to me. More than I could ever even begin to describe, so I thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for providing me with your thoughts, vague or detailed, about Leandra and the story. Thank you _so_ much.**

**So this is goodbye for now, my friends.**

**-KNeu21**


	15. Chapter PREVIEW

**ImPORTANT NOTE:**  
**It's been a little while. I realize this.**  
**That would be why I'm posting this little snippet as sort of a test, to see how well me continuing this series would be taken. I hope I haven't lost all my readers, as you all mean a lot to me. Depending on the feedback, I may decide to continue. I've been working on my own for awhile, because I just can't stop, but never really thought I'd be posting again.**  
**Let's see how well this goes, shall we?**  
**Please enjoy this sneak peek, and please let me know what you think.**  
**-KNeu21**

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**Preview**

I really hadn't meant to stab him that hard, but because of that, Zack not only got a new wound in his hand, but a a two-swat spanking from Mike and sent to his room.

Then it was my turn. He turned to me once Zack was off to his room, and I stood up. I knew he was as unhappy with me as he'd been with Zack, and that was the problem now.

Apologizing wouldn't fix it this time.

Despite having reason to do it, it was still wrong to stab anyone with anything, and Mike had to be the one to teach me that. Ignoring Heather's protests, and my attempts to evade him around the kitchen, he wound up giving me three good swats across my butt, and I didn't appreciate that one bit. Two for what I'd done, and the third for screaming curse words at him and punching him in the stomach in my struggle to avoid the second.

I ran off to my room the second I could without him having to say anything, more mad than hurt. Leaving an argument between Heather and Mike behind me. Mike's argument being that he was just as responsible for me as Heather was, and Heather's being that I could have only been given one.

"Ha!" Zack called smugly from his room.

"Fuck off." I snapped at my slammed-shut door.

This day couldn't go by fast enough. I couldn't wait to go back, and have someone on my side for once. I couldn't wait to tell on Mike, and have Emmett come beat his face in. Of course I didn't really want that, but a week without fights and arguments did sound pretty damn good to me.

By the time I was dropped off, I was in a horrible mood. Having had time to dwell on what happened, and though my butt only hurt a bit, the slight ache was a reminder I didn't want, and the second I was in the door, I hugged onto Esme and cried.

Concerned, she looked to Heather who'd followed along to explain what happened. We were led inside, and into the living room for her to explain. I allowed that, since it wasn't her I was mad at.

Carlisle was standing there the whole time, his arms crossed in a tense way, but he wasn't angry with her. She was just as upset over it as he seemed to be, but with Esme here with me, I could start to calm down. I didn't blame Heather either, but I wasn't the biggest fan of Mike or the boys anymore. Right then, I didn't want to see any of them again.

"He was only going to give her two swats." Heather explained, "But.." She sighed, "She called him every name she could think of. Really.. Impressively letting those curse words fly, and punched him, gaining her the third. Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't blame her, and she even said she didn't mean to do it, but he still felt the need to correct her, and I can't exactly say he was wrong."

"I understand." Carlisle assured her, "And you say he's had to talk to her before?"

"During the camping trip." She nodded, "Purposefully, we all saw it, she tripped Zack as he was attempting to walk by her, and he fell. Nearly breaking his ribs on a rock sitting there."

"Leandra." Esme murmured, obviously disapproving but not pushing it.

"Thankfully, he was okay, but it was the worry that had Mike take her aside and talk to her." Heather went on, "After the drive back, I think tension was just high between everyone, and it came to a head today. After the shouting match between her and Josh this morning, I can't say I'm surprised."

"I see." Carlisle sighed, glancing to me as I watched him, "Well, I appreciate you explaining your side first." I closed my eyes briefly, sniffling a little as I tried to calm down and focused on the floor.

I was a little mad I couldn't just tattle and be done with it. This was still partially my fault, and I knew that, but I wanted to be the one in the right. I was heavily disappointed that they wouldn't feel the need to make me come home like I wanted them to. Everyone was there. They all heard her explanation before I could give mine, so tempers would be held. Unfortunately.

I didn't mind in the least giving Heather a hug before she left, which probably helped her leave me there at all. The second she was gone, though, I had to cry a little more. I couldn't help it. Though the swats he'd given me were nowhere near the intensity that I'd gotten from Jack, I didn't like it. No kid ever did like being swatted, I was sure, but I felt like this was worse.

I felt scolded in a way I hadn't been before, and I was sure that was the way I was meant to feel. I wasn't tempted to stab anybody again, that was for sure. The main point was, he hadn't hit me too hard. I wasn't injured, and I knew full well not to cross him again. I knew that, but I wasn't happy about it.

They all knew exactly what I was doing, though, when I expressed my main concern. They knew exactly what I was getting at with my pride hurt the way it was.

"I don't want to go back there." I muttered when I'd calmed down enough to do so.

"You can't let something like this chase you away." Jasper replied, and I looked over at him, "There are bound to be moments like this in any family. Remember New York?"

"That sucked." I sniffled. Truth was, I hadn't thought about it that way. This whole unpleasant time, I'd never even thought to compare moments with my family, and moments with Mike and Heather.

"And this sucks just as much." Emmett added, "This will pass. I promise."

"But.." I mumbled, looking back down, "It's different there."

"Different, in this case, is a good thing." Jasper spoke again, "Different is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"But that was before." I replied, "I thought it'd be easy."

"Changing how you live is never easy, Leandra." He replied simply, "It takes work to find everyone's comfort zone when it comes to adding another person to the household. Right now, everyone is just trying to find that balance. We went through the same thing here, remember? All that time you spent hiding in your room was your way of trying to find your balance."

"But this is _different_."

"Different is a good thing." He repeated, "You can't just give up the moment it gets hard, Leandra."

"Don't give up, sweetie." Esme told me gently, "As much as we'd love for you to come home, your happiness is what means the most to us. You deserve it, at very least."

"I'm not happy." I whimpered, holding back tears, "And I miss you." I looked over, "So much. All the time. It never stops."

"Give it more of a chance, Leandra." Even Alice was all for me giving it another try, which surprised me, considering she was the one with the biggest problem with me leaving in the first place. She spoke again, "You would never have made this choice in the first place if it didn't mean everything to you."

"As much as we want to," Mikah murmured gently from where he crouched in front of me, "As selfish as we really want to be, if we give in and let you move back in, we'll be completely squashing whatever chance at a normal life you left here to find."

"But I want to." I whimpered quietly, "It was so stupid of me to leave."

"No it wasn't." He replied, "It meant something to you, and I know when you calm down, it still will. None of us want to be responsible for taking this chance from you. It's your life. Only you can choose how you get to live it. None of us are going to make this choice for you."

"But I want you to." I admitted, whining, "I never should have been able to make this choice on my own. It was so stupid. I'm so sorry."

"Would it help," He murmured, "If I told you that I'd have done the exact same thing he did?" That surprised me, "I would have. Had you done that in front of me, I'd have given you a few more than just three swats. I agree with what he did, and it sorted you out, didn't it?" I looked down, pouting a little, "Going around stabbing people with forks, no matter the reason, is a good way to get your butt smacked. It's wrong, and now you know it's wrong."

I had to keep trying, "But-"

"It sure doesn't sound to me like he was out to hurt you, princess." Mikah went on, "He was correcting you in a way you would understand, and think about it. Zack got it too."

He was right. I knew he was right, but I didn't want him to be right.

"Take your time here," He told me, "Let things cool off, and _try_ again. You'll see. It'll be okay." I allowed his brief smooth of my hair, comforting me a bit. He had to move away, but his impression stuck. That didn't fix the homesickness I still recalled clearly, though.

Thinking about that reminded me of something more. Looking back at them on the porch that night, I remembered how much I missed them. I guess I'd never realized how much I'd be missing out on when I made this choice, and that was my fault, but I did remember what had brought them there in the first place.

I sniffled a little again, calming down once more as I looked up and around.

"Can I ask what was going on the other night?" I asked, and by the looks, I knew they were hoping I wouldn't ask. That wasn't a strange thing to me. It used to be often that I had to ask that question, but oddly enough, as much as I hated having to do it before, I was glad to be given the opportunity to again. It was familiar.

"I'd prefer if you didn't." Jasper admitted, and I shrugged a little. I expected that, and I accepted that.

"How the hell did you get so sunburned, shorty?" Emmett was finally the one to ask, and unable to help it, I smiled a little.

"Spending too much time in the pool." I replied, "It wasn't just me, though. Everyone got burned."

"How long did you stay in there?" He asked, surprised.

"All day." I laughed quietly, "After I got stuck in the tree."

It was his turn to laugh as he asked, "You got stuck in a tree?"

That seemed to be the funniest thing to him, and thinking about it now, it was a little funny. Now that I wasn't still stuck in that tree, I could laugh about it. It sure wasn't funny when it happened, though. I blushed under my sunburned cheeks, giving a nod. Answering his question, but not minding doing so. It was a decent distraction from the horrible morning I'd had.

"_How_?" He insisted, "How, may I ask, did you get stuck in a tree?"

"Um.." I muttered, "I got up, but I couldn't get down?"

I was hoping that'd be enough of an answer, because I was pretty embarrassed about it, but of course. It wasn't. That answer was one that clearly went without saying, and I knew that, but his expectant expression emphasized that. Prompting me to continue without saying it.

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**A/N: There we have it, people. A little preview of what would be in the next installment of the series. I know there's not much going on in it, but as I mentioned before, it's just a test. **  
**If you'd like more, feel free to leave me a review saying so. I'd be extremely happy to read them. **  
**Until then, my friends.**

**-Kneu21**


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